第30章
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  Itappearstousaquestionwhetheranyclergymancangothroughourchurchservicewithdecorum,morningaftermorning,inanimmensebuilding,surroundedbynotmorethanadozenlisteners。Thebestactorscannotactwellbeforeemptybenches,andthoughthereis,ofcourse,ahighermotiveinonecasethantheother,stilleventhebestofclergymencannotbutbeinfluencedbytheiraudience;andtoexpectthatadutyshouldbewelldoneundersuchcircumstances,wouldbetorequirefromhumannaturemorethanhumanpower。

  Whenthetwoladieswiththegiltcrosses,theoldmanwithhiscrutch,andthestillpalpitatinghousemaidweregoing,MrHardingfoundhimselfobligedtogotoo。Thevergerstoodinhisway,andlookedathimandlookedatthedoor,andsohewent。Buthereturnedagaininafewminutes,andre-enteredwithanothertwopence。Therewasnoothersanctuarysogoodforhim。

  Ashewalkedslowlydownthenave,andthenuponeaisle,andthenagaindownthenaveanduptheotheraisle,hetriedtothinkgravelyofthestephewasabouttotake。Hewasgoingtogiveupeighthundredayearvoluntarily;anddoomhimselftolivefortherestofhislifeonaboutahundredandfifty。Heknewthathehadhithertofailedtorealisethisfactasheoughttodo。Couldhemaintainhisownindependenceandsupporthisdaughteronahundredandfiftypoundsayearwithoutbeingaburdenonanyone?Hisson-in-lawwasrich,butnothingcouldinducehimtoleanonhisson-in-lawafteracting,asheintendedtodo,indirectoppositiontohisson-in-law’scounsel。Thebishopwasrich,buthewasabouttothrowawaythebishop’sbestgift,andthatinamannertoinjuremateriallythepatronageofthegiver:hecouldneitherexpectnoracceptanythingfurtherfromthebishop。Therewouldbenotonlynomerit,butpositivedisgrace,ingivinguphiswardenship,ifhewerenotpreparedtomeettheworldwithoutit。Yes,hemustfromthistimeforwardboundallhishumanwishesforhimselfandhisdaughtertothepoorextentofsolimitedanincome。Heknewhehadnotthoughtsufficientlyofthis,thathehadbeencarriedawaybyenthusiasm,andhadhithertonotbroughthometohimselfthefullrealityofhisposition。

  Hethoughtmostabouthisdaughter,naturally。Itwastruethatshewasengaged,andheknewenoughofhisproposedson-in-lawtobesurethathisownalteredcircumstanceswouldmakenoobstacletosuchamarriage;nay,hewassurethattheveryfactofhispovertywouldinduceBoldmoreanxiouslytopressthematter;buthedislikedcountingonBoldinthisemergency,broughton,asithadbeen,byhisdoing。Hedidnotlikesayingtohimself,Boldhasturnedmeoutofmyhouseandincome,and,therefore,hemustrelievemeofmydaughter;

  hepreferredreckoningonEleanorasthecompanionofhispovertyandexile——asthesharerofhissmallincome。

  Somemodestprovisionforhisdaughterhadbeenlongsincemade。Hislifewasinsuredforthreethousandpounds,andthissumwastogotoEleanor。Thearchdeacon,forsomeyearspast,hadpaidthepremium,andhadsecuredhimselfbytheimmediatepossessionofasmallpropertywhichwastohavegonetoMrsGrantlyafterherfather’sdeath。Thismatter,therefore,hadbeentakenoutofthewarden’shandslongsince,as,indeed,hadallthebusinesstransactionsofhisfamily,andhisanxietywas,therefore,confinedtohisownlifeincome。

  Yes。Ahundredandfiftyperannumwasverysmall,butstillitmightsuffice;buthowwashetochantthelitanyatthecathedralonSundaymornings,andgettheservicedoneatCrabtreeParva?True,CrabtreeChurchwasnotquiteamileandahalffromthecathedral;buthecouldnotbeintwoplacesatonce。Crabtreewasasmallvillage,andafternoonservicemightsuffice,butstillthiswentagainsthisconscience;

  itwasnotrightthathisparishionersshouldberobbedofanyoftheirprivilegesonaccountofhispoverty。Hemight,tobesure,makesomearrangementsfordoingweek-dayserviceatthecathedral;buthehadchantedthelitanyatBarchestersolong,andhadaconsciousfeelingthathediditsowell,thathewasunwillingtogiveuptheduty。

  Thinkingofsuchthings,turningoverinhisownmindtogethersmalldesiresandgraveduties,butneverhesitatingforamomentastothenecessityofleavingthehospital,MrHardingwalkedupanddowntheabbey,orsatstillmeditatingonthesamestonestep,hourafterhour。Onevergerwentandanothercame,buttheydidnotdisturbhim;everynowandthentheycreptupandlookedathim,buttheydidsowithareverentialstare,and,onthewhole,MrHardingfoundhisretreatwellchosen。Aboutfouro’clockhiscomfortwasdisturbedbyanenemyintheshapeofhunger。Itwasnecessarythatheshoulddine,anditwasclearthathecouldnotdineintheabbey:sohelefthissanctuarynotwillingly,andbetookhimselftotheneighbourhoodoftheStrandtolookforfood。

  Hiseyeshadbecomesoaccustomedtothegloomofthechurch,thattheyweredazedwhenhegotoutintothefulllightofday,andhefeltconfusedandashamedofhimself,asthoughpeoplewerestaringathim。Hehurriedalong,stillindreadofthearchdeacon,tillhecametoCharingCross,andthenrememberedthatinoneofhispassagesthroughtheStrandhehadseenthewords’ChopsandSteaks’onaplacardinashopwindow。Herememberedtheshopdistinctly;itwasnextdoortoatrunk-seller’s,andtherewasacigarshopontheotherside。Hecouldn’tgotohishotelfordinner,whichtohimhithertowastheonlyknownmodeofdininginLondonathisownexpense;and,therefore,hewouldgetasteakattheshopintheStrand。ArchdeaconGrantlywouldcertainlynotcometosuchaplaceforhisdinner。

  Hefoundthehouseeasily——justashehadobservedit,betweenthetrunksandthecigars。Hewasratherdauntedbythehugequantityoffishwhichhesawinthewindow。Therewerebarrelsofoysters,hecatombsoflobsters,afewtremendous-

  lookingcrabs,andatubfullofpickledsalmon;not,however,beingawareofanyconnectionbetweenshell-fishandiniquity,heentered,andmodestlyaskedaslatternlywoman,whowaspickingoystersoutofagreatwateryreservoir,whetherhecouldhaveamuttonchopandapotato。

  Thewomanlookedsomewhatsurprised,butansweredintheaffirmative,andaslipshodgirlusheredhimintoalongbackroom,filledwithboxesfortheaccommodationofparties,inoneofwhichhetookhisseat。Inamoremiserablyforlornplacehecouldnothavefoundhimself:theroomsmeltoffish,andsawdust,andstaletobaccosmoke,withaslighttaintofescapedgas;everythingwasroughanddirty,anddisreputable;

  theclothwhichtheyputbeforehimwasabominable;

  theknivesandforkswerebruised,andhacked,andfilthy;andeverythingwasimpregnatedwithfish。Hehadonecomfort,however:hewasquitealone;therewasnoonetheretolookonhisdismay;norwasitprobablethatanyonewouldcometodoso。ItwasaLondonsupper-house。Aboutoneo’clockatnighttheplacewouldbelivelyenough,butatthepresenttimehisseclusionwasasdeepasithadbeenintheabbey。

  Inabouthalfanhourtheuntidygirl,notyetdressedforhereveninglabours,broughthimhischopandpotatoes,andMrHardingbeggedforapintofsherry。Hewasimpressedwithanidea,whichwasgenerallyprevalentafewyearssince,andisnotyetwhollyremovedfromthemindsofmen,thattoorderadinneratanykindofinn,withoutalsoorderingapintofwineforthebenefitofthelandlord,wasakindoffraud——notpunishable,indeed,bylaw,butnotthelessabominableonthataccount。MrHardingrememberedhiscomingpoverty,andwouldwillinglyhavesavedhishalf-crown,buthethoughthehadnoalternative;andhewassoonputinpossessionofsomehorridmixtureprocuredfromtheneighbouringpublic-house。

  Hischopandpotatoes,however,wereeatable,andhavinggotoverasbesthemightthedisgustcreatedbytheknivesandforks,hecontrivedtoswallowhisdinner。Hewasnotmuchdisturbed:oneyoungman,withpalefaceandwateryfishlikeeyes,wearinghishatominouslyononeside,didcomeinandstareathim,andaskthegirl,audiblyenough,’Whothatoldcockwas’;buttheannoyancewentnofurther,andthewardenwasleftseatedonhiswoodenbenchinpeace,endeavouringtodistinguishthedifferentscentsarisingfromlobsters,oysters,andsalmon。

  UnknowingasMrHardingwasinthewaysofLondon,hefeltthathehadsomehowselectedanineligibledining-house,andthathehadbetterleaveit。Itwashardlyfiveo’clock——

  howwashetopassthetimetillten?Fivemiserablehours!

  Hewasalreadytired,anditwasimpossiblethatheshouldcontinuewalkingsolong。Hethoughtofgettingintoanomnibus,andgoingouttoFulhamforthesakeofcomingbackinanother:this,however,wouldbewearywork,andashepaidhisbilltothewomanintheshop,heaskedheriftherewereanyplacenearwherehecouldgetacupofcoffee。

  Thoughshedidkeepashellfishsupper-house,shewasverycivil,anddirectedhimtothecigardivanontheothersideofthestreet。

  MrHardinghadnotamuchcorrecternotionofacigardivanthanhehadofaLondondinner-house,buthewasdesperatelyinwantofrest,andwentashewasdirected。Hethoughthemusthavemadesomemistakewhenhefoundhimselfinacigarshop,butthemanbehindthecountersawimmediatelythathewasastranger,andunderstoodwhathewanted。

  ’Oneshilling,sir——thankye,sir——cigar,sir?——ticketforcoffee,sir——you’llonlyhavetocallthewaiter。Upthosestairs,ifyouplease,sir。Bettertakethecigar,sir——youcanalwaysgiveittoafriend,youknow。Well,sir,thankye,sir——asyouaresogood,I’llsmokeitmyself。’AndsoMrHardingascendedtothedivan,withhisticketforcoffee,butminusthecigar。

  Theplaceseemedmuchmoresuitabletohisrequirementsthantheroominwhichhehaddined:therewas,tobesure,astrongsmelloftobacco,towhichhewasnotaccustomed;

  butaftertheshell-fish,thetobaccodidnotseemdisagreeable。

  Therewerequantitiesofbooks,andlongrowsofsofas。Whatonearthcouldbemoreluxuriousthanasofa,abook,andacupofcoffee?Anoldwaitercameuptohim,withacoupleofmagazinesandaneveningpaper。Waseveranythingsocivil?Wouldhehaveacupofcoffee,orwouldheprefersherbet?Sherbet!WasheabsolutelyinanEasterndivan,withtheslightadditionofalltheLondonperiodicals?Hehad,however,anideathatsherbetshouldbedrunksittingcross-legged,andashewasnotquiteuptothis,heorderedthecoffee。

  Thecoffeecame,andwasunexceptionable。Why,thisdivanwasaparadise!Theciviloldwaitersuggestedtohimagameofchess:thoughachessplayerhewasnotequaltothis,sohedeclined,and,puttinguphiswearylegsonthesofa,leisurelysippedhiscoffee,andturnedoverthepagesofhisBlackwood。Hemighthavebeensoengagedforaboutanhour,fortheoldwaiterenticedhimtoasecondcupofcoffee,whenamusicalclockbegantoplay。MrHardingthenclosedhismagazine,keepinghisplacewithhisfinger,andlay,listeningwithclosedeyestotheclock。Soontheclockseemedtoturnintoavioloncello,withpianoaccompaniments,andMrHardingbegantofancytheoldwaiterwastheBishopofBarchester;hewasinexpressiblyshockedthatthebishopshouldhavebroughthimhiscoffeewithhisownhands;thenDrGrantlycamein,withabasketfulloflobsters,whichhewouldnotbeinducedtoleavedownstairsinthekitchen;andthenthewardencouldn’tquiteunderstandwhysomanypeoplewouldsmokeinthebishop’sdrawing-room;andsohefellfastasleep,andhisdreamswanderedawaytohisaccustomedstallinBarchesterCathedral,andthetwelveoldmenhewassosoonabouttoleaveforever。

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