第34章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"The Voyage Out",免费读到尾

  “Well,youmusttaketheresponsibility,“hesaid。“I’vemadeupmymind;IshallgototheBar。“

  Hiswordswereveryserious,almostemotional;theyrecalledHelenafterasecond’shesitation。

  “I’msureyou’reright,“shesaidwarmly,andshookthehandheheldout。“You’llbeagreatman,I’mcertain。“

  Then,asiftomakehimlookatthescene,shesweptherhandroundtheimmensecircumferenceoftheview。Fromthesea,overtheroofsofthetown,acrossthecrestsofthemountains,overtheriverandtheplain,andagainacrossthecrestsofthemountainsitsweptuntilitreachedthevilla,thegarden,themagnolia-tree,andthefiguresofHirstandherselfstandingtogether,whenitdroppedtoherside。

  HewetandRachelhadlongagoreachedtheparticularplaceontheedgeofthecliffwhere,lookingdownintothesea,youmightchanceonjelly-fishanddolphins。Lookingtheotherway,thevastexpanseoflandgavethemasensationwhichisgivenbynoview,howeverextended,inEngland;thevillagesandthehillstherehavingnames,andthefarthesthorizonofhillsasoftenasnotdippingandshowingalineofmistwhichisthesea;heretheviewwasoneofinfinitesun-driedearth,earthpointedinpinnacles,heapedinvastbarriers,earthwideningandspreadingawayandawayliketheimmensefloorofthesea,earthchequeredbydayandbynight,andpartitionedintodifferentlands,wherefamouscitieswerefounded,andtheracesofmenchangedfromdarksavagestowhitecivilisedmen,andbacktodarksavagesagain。PerhapstheirEnglishbloodmadethisprospectuncomfortablyimpersonalandhostiletothem,forhavingonceturnedtheirfacesthatwaytheynextturnedthemtothesea,andfortherestofthetimesatlookingatthesea。

  Thesea,thoughitwasathinandsparklingwaterhere,whichseemedincapableofsurgeoranger,eventuallynarroweditself,cloudeditspuretintwithgrey,andswirledthroughnarrowchannelsanddashedinashiverofbrokenwatersagainstmassivegraniterocks。

  ItwasthisseathatfloweduptothemouthoftheThames;

  andtheThameswashedtherootsofthecityofLondon。

  Hewet’sthoughtshadfollowedsomesuchcourseasthis,forthefirstthinghesaidastheystoodontheedgeofthecliffwas——

  “I’dliketobeinEngland!“

  Rachellaydownonherelbow,andpartedthetallgrasseswhichgrewontheedge,sothatshemighthaveaclearview。Thewaterwasverycalm;rockingupanddownatthebaseofthecliff,andsoclearthatonecouldseetheredofthestonesatthebottomofit。

  Soithadbeenatthebirthoftheworld,andsoithadremainedeversince。Probablynohumanbeinghadeverbrokenthatwaterwithboatorwithbody。Obeyingsomeimpulse,shedeterminedtomarthateternityofpeace,andthrewthelargestpebbleshecouldfind。

  Itstruckthewater,andtheripplesspreadoutandout。

  Hewetlookeddowntoo。

  “It’swonderful,“hesaid,astheywidenedandceased。Thefreshnessandthenewnessseemedtohimwonderful。Hethrewapebblenext。

  Therewasscarcelyanysound。

  “ButEngland,“Rachelmurmuredintheabsorbedtoneofonewhoseeyesareconcentrateduponsomesight。“Whatd’youwantwithEngland?“

  “Myfriendschiefly,“hesaid,“andallthethingsonedoes。“

  HecouldlookatRachelwithouthernoticingit。Shewasstillabsorbedinthewaterandtheexquisitelypleasantsensationswhichalittledepthoftheseawashingoverrockssuggests。

  Henoticedthatshewaswearingadressofdeepbluecolour,madeofasoftthincottonstuff,whichclungtotheshapeofherbody。

  Itwasabodywiththeanglesandhollowsofayoungwoman’sbodynotyetdeveloped,butinnowaydistorted,andthusinterestingandevenlovable。RaisinghiseyesHewetobservedherhead;

  shehadtakenherhatoff,andthefacerestedonherhand。

  Asshelookeddownintothesea,herlipswereslightlyparted。

  Theexpressionwasoneofchildlikeintentness,asifshewerewatchingforafishtoswimpastovertheclearredrocks。

  Neverthelesshertwenty-fouryearsoflifehadgivenheralookofreserve。Herhand,whichlayontheground,thefingerscurlingslightlyin,waswellshapedandcompetent;thesquare-tippedandnervousfingerswerethefingersofamusician。WithsomethinglikeanguishHewetrealisedthat,farfrombeingunattractive,herbodywasveryattractivetohim。Shelookedupsuddenly。

  Hereyeswerefullofeagernessandinterest。

  “Youwritenovels?“sheasked。

  Forthemomenthecouldnotthinkwhathewassaying。Hewasovercomewiththedesiretoholdherinhisarms。

  “Ohyes,“hesaid。“Thatis,Iwanttowritethem。“

  Shewouldnottakeherlargegreyeyesoffhisface。

  “Novels,“sherepeated。“Whydoyouwritenovels?Yououghttowritemusic。Music,yousee“——sheshiftedhereyes,andbecamelessdesirableasherbrainbegantowork,inflictingacertainchangeuponherface——“musicgoesstraightforthings。Itsaysallthereistosayatonce。Withwritingitseemstomethere’ssomuch“——shepausedforanexpression,andrubbedherfingersintheearth——“scratchingonthematchbox。MostofthetimewhenI

  wasreadingGibbonthisafternoonIwashorribly,ohinfernally,damnablybored!“Shegaveashakeoflaughter,lookingatHewet,wholaughedtoo。

  “_I_shan’tlendyoubooks,“heremarked。

  “Whyisit,“Rachelcontinued,“thatIcanlaughatMr。Hirsttoyou,butnottohisface?AtteaIwascompletelyoverwhelmed,notbyhisugliness——byhismind。“Sheenclosedacircleintheairwithherhands。SherealisedwithagreatsenseofcomfortwhoeasilyshecouldtalktoHewet,thosethornsorraggedcornerswhichtearthesurfaceofsomerelationshipsbeingsmoothedaway。

  “SoIobserved,“saidHewet。“That’sathingthatneverceasestoamazeme。“Hehadrecoveredhiscomposuretosuchanextentthathecouldlightandsmokeacigarette,andfeelingherease,becamehappyandeasyhimself。

  “Therespectthatwomen,evenwell-educated,veryablewomen,haveformen,“hewenton。“Ibelievewemusthavethesortofpoweroveryouthatwe’resaidtohaveoverhorses。Theyseeusthreetimesasbigasweareorthey’dneverobeyus。Forthatveryreason,I’minclinedtodoubtthatyou’lleverdoanythingevenwhenyouhavethevote。“Helookedatherreflectively。Sheappearedverysmoothandsensitiveandyoung。“It’lltakeatleastsixgenerationsbeforeyou’resufficientlythick-skinnedtogointolawcourtsandbusinessoffices。Considerwhatabullytheordinarymanis,“

  hecontinued,“theordinaryhard-working,ratherambitioussolicitorormanofbusinesswithafamilytobringupandacertainpositiontomaintain。Andthen,ofcourse,thedaughtershavetogivewaytothesons;thesonshavetobeeducated;theyhavetobullyandshovefortheirwivesandfamilies,andsoitallcomesoveragain。

  Andmeanwhiletherearethewomeninthebackground……Doyoureallythinkthatthevotewilldoyouanygood?“

  “Thevote?“Rachelrepeated。Shehadtovisualiseitasalittlebitofpaperwhichshedroppedintoaboxbeforesheunderstoodhisquestion,andlookingateachothertheysmiledatsomethingabsurdinthequestion。

  “Nottome,“shesaid。“ButIplaythepiano……Aremenreallylikethat?“sheasked,returningtothequestionthatinterestedher。

  “I’mnotafraidofyou。“Shelookedathimeasily。

  “Oh,I’mdifferent,“Hewetreplied。“I’vegotbetweensixandsevenhundredayearofmyown。Andthennoonetakesanovelistseriously,thankheavens。There’snodoubtithelpstomakeupforthedrudgeryofaprofessionifaman’stakenvery,veryseriouslybyeveryone——

  ifhegetsappointments,andhasofficesandatitle,andlotsoflettersafterhisname,andbitsofribbonanddegrees。

  Idon’tgrudgeit’em,thoughsometimesitcomesoverme——whatanamazingconcoction!Whatamiraclethemasculineconceptionoflifeis——judges,civilservants,army,navy,HousesofParliament,lordmayors——whataworldwe’vemadeofit!LookatHirstnow。

  Iassureyou,“hesaid,“notaday’spassedsincewecameherewithoutadiscussionastowhetherhe’stostayonatCambridgeortogototheBar。It’shiscareer——hissacredcareer。AndifI’veheardittwentytimes,I’msurehismotherandsisterhavehearditfivehundredtimes。Can’tyouimaginethefamilyconclaves,andthesistertoldtorunoutandfeedtherabbitsbecauseSt。Johnmusthavetheschool-roomtohimself——’St。John’sworking,’’St。Johnwantshisteabroughttohim。’Don’tyouknowthekindofthing?

  NowonderthatSt。Johnthinksitamatterofconsiderableimportance。

  Itistoo。Hehastoearnhisliving。ButSt。John’ssister——“

  Hewetpuffedinsilence。“Noonetakesherseriously,poordear。

  Shefeedstherabbits。“

  “Yes,“saidRachel。“I’vefedrabbitsfortwenty-fouryears;itseemsoddnow。“Shelookedmeditative,andHewet,whohadbeentalkingmuchatrandomandinstinctivelyadoptingthefemininepointofview,sawthatshewouldnowtalkaboutherself,whichwaswhathewanted,forsotheymightcometoknoweachother。

  Shelookedbackmeditativelyuponherpastlife。

  “Howdoyouspendyourday?“heasked。

  Shemeditatedstill。Whenshethoughtoftheirdayitseemedtoheritwascutintofourpiecesbytheirmeals。Thesedivisionswereabsolutelyrigid,thecontentsofthedayhavingtoaccommodatethemselveswithinthefourrigidbars。Lookingbackatherlife,thatwaswhatshesaw。

  “Breakfastnine;luncheonone;teafive;dinnereight,“shesaid。

  “Well,“saidHewet,“whatd’youdointhemorning?“

  “Ineedtoplaythepianoforhoursandhours。“

  “Andafterluncheon?“

  “ThenIwentshoppingwithoneofmyaunts。Orwewenttoseesomeone,orwetookamessage;orwedidsomethingthathadtobedone——

  thetapsmightbeleaking。Theyvisitthepooragooddeal——

  oldchar-womenwithbadlegs,womenwhowantticketsforhospitals。

  OrIusedtowalkintheparkbymyself。Andafterteapeoplesometimescalled;orinsummerwesatinthegardenorplayedcroquet;

  inwinterIreadaloud,whiletheyworked;afterdinnerIplayedthepianoandtheywroteletters。Iffatherwasathomewehadfriendsofhistodinner,andaboutonceamonthwewentuptotheplay。

  Everynowandthenwedinedout;sometimesIwenttoadanceinLondon,butthatwasdifficultbecauseofgettingback。

  Thepeoplewesawwereoldfamilyfriends,andrelations,butwedidn’tseemanypeople。Therewastheclergyman,Mr。Pepper,andtheHunts。Fathergenerallywantedtobequietwhenhecamehome,becauseheworksveryhardatHull。Alsomyauntsaren’tverystrong。Ahousetakesupalotoftimeifyoudoitproperly。

  Ourservantswerealwaysbad,andsoAuntLucyusedtodoagooddealinthekitchen,andAuntClara,Ithink,spentmostofthemorningdustingthedrawing-roomandgoingthroughthelinenandsilver。

  Thentherewerethedogs。Theyhadtobeexercised,besidesbeingwashedandbrushed。NowSandy’sdead,butAuntClarahasaveryoldcockatoothatcamefromIndia。Everythinginourhouse,“

  sheexclaimed,“comesfromsomewhere!It’sfullofoldfurniture,notreallyold,Victorian,thingsmother’sfamilyhadorfather’sfamilyhad,whichtheydidn’tliketogetridof,Isuppose,thoughwe’vereallynoroomforthem。It’sratheranicehouse,“

  shecontinued,“exceptthatit’salittledingy——dullIshouldsay。“

  Shecalledupbeforehereyesavisionofthedrawing-roomathome;

  itwasalargeoblongroom,withasquarewindowopeningonthegarden。

  Greenplushchairsstoodagainstthewall;therewasaheavycarvedbook-case,withglassdoors,andageneralimpressionoffadedsofacovers,largespacesofpalegreen,andbasketswithpiecesofwool-workdroppingoutofthem。PhotographsfromoldItalianmasterpieceshungonthewalls,andviewsofVenetianbridgesandSwedishwaterfallswhichmembersofthefamilyhadseenyearsago。

点击下载App,搜索"The Voyage Out",免费读到尾