第17章
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  “Mygreatestpleasure。There!And,please,Iwantthemtogoonso。“

  “Goonso!Idon’treckonyu’knowwhatyou’resayin’。Yu’mightaswellaskfruittostaygreen。Ifthewaywearenowcankeepbein’enoughforyou,itcan’tforme。Apleasuretoyou,isit?

  Well,tomeitis——Idon’tknowwhattocallit。Icometoyu’

  andIhateit,andIcomeagainandIhateit,andIacheandgrievealloverwhenIgo。No!Youwillhavetothinkofsomeotherwaythanjustinvitin’metokeepgreen。“

  “IfIamtoseeyou——“beganthegirl。

  “You’renottoseeme。Notlikethis。IcanstayawayeasierthanwhatIamJoin’。“

  “Willyoudomeafavor,agreatone?“saidshe,now。

  “Makeitasimpossibleasyouplease!“hecried。Hethoughtitwastobesomeaction。

  “Gooncoming。Butdon’ttalktomeabout——don’ttalkinthatway——ifyoucanhelpit“

  Helaughedout,notpermittinghimselftoswear。

  “But,“shecontinued,“ifyoucan’thelptalkingthatway——sometimes——IpromiseIwilllisten。ThatistheonlypromiseImake。“

  “Thatisabargain,“hesaid。

  Thenhehelpedhermountherhorse,restraininghimselflikeaSpartan,andtheyrodehometohercabin。

  “Youhavemadeitprettynearimpossible,“hesaid,ashetookhisleave。“Butyou’vebeensquareto-day,andI’llshowyouI

  canbesquarewhenIcomeback。I’llnotdomorethanaskyouifyourmind’sthesame。AndnowI’llnotseeyouforquiteawhile。

  Iamgoingalongway。ButI’llbeverybusy。Andbein’busyalwayskeepsmefromgrievin’toomuchaboutyou。“

  Strangeiswoman!Shewouldratherhaveheardsomeotherlastremarkthanthis。

  “Oh,verywell!“shesaid。“I’llnotmissyoueither。“

  Hesmiledather。“Idoubtifyu’canhelpmissin’me,“heremarked。Andhewasgoneatonce,gallopingonhisMontehorse。

  Whichofthetwowonavictorythisday?

  XIII。THEGAMEANDTHENATION——ACTFIRST

  Therecanbenodoubtofthis:AllAmericaisdividedintotwoclasses,——thequalifyandtheequality。

  Thelatterwillalwaysrecognizetheformerwhenmistakenforit。

  Bothwillbewithusuntilourwomenbearnothingbuthangs。

  ItwasthroughtheDeclarationofIndependencethatweAmericansacknowledgedtheETERNALEQUALITYofman。Forbyitweabolishedacut-and-driedaristocracy。Wehadseenlittlemereartificiallyheldupinhighplaces,andgreatmenartificiallyhelddowninlowplaces,andourownjustice-lovingheartsabhorredthisviolencetohumannature。Therefore,wedecreedthateverymanshouldthenceforthhaveequallibertytofindhisownlevel。Bythisverydecreeweacknowledgedandgavefreedomtotruearistocracy,saying,“Letthebestmanwin,whoeverheis。“Letthebestmanwin!ThatisAmerica’sword。Thatistruedemocracy。

  Andtruedemocracyandtruearistocracyareoneandthesamething。Ifanybodycannotseethis,somuchtheworseforhiseyesight。

  TheabovereflectionsoccurredtomebeforereachingBillings,Montana,somethreeweeksafterIhadunexpectedlymettheVirginianatOmaha,Nebraska。IhadnotknownofthattrustgiventohimbyJudgeHenry,whichwastakinghimEast。IwaslookingtoridewithhimbeforelongamongthecleanhillsofSunkCreek。

  Isupposedhewasthere。ButIcameuponhimonemorninginColonelCyrusJones’seatingpalace。

  Didyouknowthepalace?ItstoodinOmaha,nearthetrains,anditwastenyearsoldwhichismiddle-agedinOmahawhenIfirstsawit。Itwasashellofwood,paintedwithgoldenemblems,——thesteamboat,theeagle,theYosemite,——andalivebearategratuitiesatitsentrance。Weatherpermitting,itopenedupontheworldasastageupontheaudience。YousatinOmaha’swholesightanddined,whileOmaha’sdustcameandsettledupontherefreshments。ItisgonethewayoftheIndianandthebuffalo,fortheWestisgrowingold。Youshouldhaveseenthepalaceandsatthere。Infrontofyoupassedrainbowsofmen,——Chinese,Indianchiefs,Africans,GeneralMiles,youngersons,Austriannobility,widefemalesinpink。OurcontinentdrainedprismaticallythroughOmahaonce。

  SoIwaspassingthatwayalso,walkingforthesakeofventilationfromasleeping-cartowardabath,whenthelanguageofColonelCyrusJonescameouttome。TheactualcolonelIhadneverseenbefore。HestoodattherearofhispalaceingrayflowerymustachesandaConfederateuniform,tellingthewishesofhisgueststothecookthroughahole。Youalwaysboughtmealticketsatonce,elseyoubecameunwelcome。Guestsherehadfoiblesattimes,andarapidexitwastooeasy。ThereforeI

  boughtaticket。ItwasspringandsummersinceIhadheardanythinglikethecolonel。TheMissourihadnotyetflowedintoNewYorkdialectfreely,andhisvocabularymetmelikethebreezeoftheplains。SoIwentintobefannedbyit,andtheresattheVirginianatatable,alone。

  Hisgreetingwasuptothecodeofindifferenceproperontheplains;buthepresentlyremarked,“I’mrightgladtoseesomebody,“whichwasagooddealtosay。“Themthatcomeshyeh,“

  heobservednext,“don’teat。Theyfeed。“Andheconsideredtheguestswithasombreattention。“D’yu’reckontheyfindjoyfuldigestioninthisswallo’-an’-get-outtrough?“

  “Whatareyoudoinghere,then?“saidI。

  “Oh,pshaw!Whenyu’can’thavewhatyouchoose,yu’justchoosewhatyouhave。“Andhetookthebill-of-fare。Ibegantoknowthathehadsomethingonhismind,soIdidnottroublehimfurther。

  Meanwhilehesatstudyingthebill-of-fare。

  “Everheardo’them?“heinquired,shovingmethespotteddocument。

  Mostimprobabledisheswerethere,——salmis,canapes,supremes,——allperfectlyspeltandabsolutelytransparent。Itwastheoldtrickofcopyingsomemetropolitanmenutocatchtravellersofthethirdandlastdimensionofinnocence;andwheneverthisisdonethefoodisofthethirdandlastdimensionofawfulness,whichthecow-puncherknewaswellasanybody。

  “Sotheykeepthatupherestill,“Isaid。

  “Butwhataboutthem?“herepeated。Hisfingerwasataspecialitem,FROGS’LEGSALADELMONICO。“Aretheytrueanywheres?“heaskedAndItoldhim,certainly。IalsoexplainedtohimalmostDelmonicoofNewYorkandaboutAugustinofPhiladelphia。

  “There’snotalittlebito’useinlyin’tomethismawnin’,“hesaid,withhisengagingsmile。“Iain’tgoin’toawdehanything’slaigs。“

  “Well,I’llseehowhegetsoutofit,“Isaid,rememberingtheoddTexaslegend。Thetravellerreadthebill-of-fare,youknow,andcalledforavol-au-vent。Andtheproprietorlookedatthetraveller,andrunningapistolintohisear,observed,“You’lltakehash。“Iwasthinkingofthisandwonderingwhatwouldhappentome。SoItookthestep。

  “Wantsfrogs’legs,doeshe?“shoutedColonelCyrusJones。Hefixedhiseyeuponme,anditnarrowedtoaslit。“Toomanybrainworkersbreakfastingbeforeyu’camein,professor,“saidhe。

  “Missionaryatethelastlegoffmejustnow。Brownthewheat!“

  hecommanded,throughtheholetothecook,forsomeonehadorderedhotcakes。

  “I’llhavefriedaiggs,“saidtheVirginian。“Cookedbothsides。“

  “Whitewings!“sangthecolonelthroughthehole。“Let’emflyupanddown。“

  “Coffeean’nomilk,“saidtheVirginian。

  “Drawoneinthedark!“thecolonelroared。

  “Andbeefsteak,rare。“

  “Oneslaughterinthepan,andlettheblooddrip!“

  “Ishouldlikeaglassofwater,please,“saidI。Thecolonelthrewmealookofpity。

  “OneMissouriandicefortheprofessor!“hesaid。

  “Thatfello’sarightliveman,“commentedtheVirginian。Butheseemedthoughtful。Presentlyheinquired,“Yu’sayhewasaforeigner,an’learnedfancycookin’toNewYawk?“

  Thatwasthiscow-puncher’sway。Scarcelyeverwouldheletdropathingnewtohimuntilhehadgotfromyouyourwholeinformationaboutit。SoItoldhimthehistoryofLorenzoDelmonicoandhispioneerwork,asmuchasIknew,andtheSouthernerlistenedintently。

  “Mightyinter-estin’,“hesaid——“mighty。Hecouldjusttakelittleoldo’rn’ryfrawgs,anddandy’emuptosuitthebloods。

  Mightyinter-estin’。Iexpaict,though,hiscookin’wouldgiveanoutraigedstomachtoaplain-raisedman。“

  “Ifyouwanttofollowitup,“saidI,bywayofasuddenexperiment,“MissMollyWoodmighthavesomebookaboutFrenchdishes。“

  ButtheVirginiandidnotturnahair。“Ireckonshewouldn’t,“

  heanswered。“ShewasraisedinVermont。Theydon’tbotheroverlyabouttheireatin’upinVermont。Hyeh’swhatMissWoodrecommendedthelas’timeIwasseein’her,“thecow-puncheradded,bringingKenilworthfromhispocket。“Rightfinestory。

  ThatQueenElizabethmusthavecert’nlybeenacompetentwoman。“

  “Shewas,“saidI。Buttalkcametoanendhere。Adustycrew,mostevidentlyfromtheplains,nowenteredanddriftedtoatable;andeachmanofthemgavetheVirginianaboutaquarterofaslouchynod。Hisgreetingtothemwasveryserene。Only,Kenilworthwentbackintohispocket,andhebreakfastedinsilence。AmongthosewhohadgreetedhimInowrecognizedaface。

  “Why,that’sthemanyouplayedcardswithatMedicineBow!“I

  said。

  “Yes。Trampas。He’sgotajobattheranchnow。“TheVirginiansaidnomore,butwentonwithhisbreakfast。

  Hisappearancewaschanged。AgedIwouldscarcelysay,forthiswouldseemasifhedidnotlookyoung。ButIthinkthattheboywasaltogethergonefromhisface——theboywhosefreakwithStevehadturnedMedicineBowupsidedown,whoseotherfreakwiththebabieshadoutragedBearCreek,theboywhohadlovedtojinglehisspurs。Butmanhoodhadonlytrained,notbroken,hisyouth。

  Itwasallthere,onlyobedienttothereinandcurb。

  Presentlywewenttogethertotherailwayyard。

  “TheJudgeisdoingarightsmarto’businessthisyear,“hebegan,verycasuallyindeed,sothatIknewthiswasimportant。

  Besidesbellsandcoalsmoke,thesmellandcrowdedsoundsofcattleroseintheairaroundus。“Hyeh’sourfirstgathero’

  beevesontheranch,“continuedtheVirginian。“Thewholelot’sshippedthroughtoChicagointwosectionsovertheBurlington。

  TheJudgeisfightingtheElkhornroad。“Wepassedslowlyalongthetwotrains,——twentycars,eachcarpackedwithhuddled,round-eyed,gazingsteers。Heexaminedtoseeifanyanimalsweredown。“Theyain’tateordrankanythingtospeakof,“hesaid,whiletheterrifiedbrutesstaredatusthroughtheirslats。“Notsincetheystrucktherailroadthey’venotdrank。Yu’mightsupposethenceknowsomehowwhatthey’retravellin’toChicagofor。“Andcasually,alwayscasually,hetoldmetherest。JudgeHenrycouldnotsparehisforemanawayfromthesecondgatherofbeeves。Thereforethesetwoten-cartrainswiththeirdoublecrewofcow-boyshadbeengiventotheVirginian’scharge。AfterChicago,hewastoreturnbySt。PaulovertheNorthernPacific;

  fortheJudgehadwishedhimtoseecertainoftheroad’sdirectorsandexplaintothempersuasivelyhowgoodathingitwouldbeforthemtoallowespeciallycheapratestotheSunkCreekoutfithenceforth。ThiswasalltheVirginiantoldme;anditcontainedthewholematter,tobesure。

  “Soyou’reactingforeman,“saidI。

  “Why,somebodyhastohavethesay,Ireckon。“

  “Andofcourseyouhatedthepromotion?“

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