第9章
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  Theservingmanlookedatmeaskance,rememberinghisorders,stillheusheredusintothejusticeroomwheretheSquiresatdrinkingale。

  ’Goodmorrowtoyou,neighbour,’saidtheSquire;’youarewelcomehere,butyoubringonewithyouwhoisnotwelcome,thoughhebeyourson。’

  ’Ibringhimforthelasttime,friendBozard。

  Listentohisrequest,thengrantitorrefuseitasyouwill;butifyourefuseit,itwillnotbinduscloser。

  Theladridesto-nighttotakeshipforSpaintoseekthatmanwhomurderedhismother。

  Hegoesofhisownfreewillbecauseafterthedoingofthedeeditwashewhounwittinglysufferedthemurderertoescape,anditiswellthatheshouldgo。’

  ’Heisayounghoundtorunsuchaquarrytoearth,andinastrangecountry,’saidtheSquire。

  ’StillIlikehisspiritandwishhimwell。

  Whatwouldheofme?’

  ’Leavetobidfarewelltoyourdaughter。

  Iknowthathissuitdoesnotpleaseyouandcannotwonderatit,andformyownpartIthinkittooearlyforhimtosethisfancyinthewayofmarriage。

  Butifhewouldseethemaiditcandonoharm,forsuchharmasthereishasbeendonealready。

  Nowforyouranswer。’

  SquireBozardthoughtawhile,thensaid:

  ’Theladisabraveladthoughheshallbenoson-in-lawofmine。

  Heisgoingfar,andmayhapwillreturnnomore,andIdonotwishthatheshouldthinkunkindlyofmewhenIamdead。

  Gowithout,ThomasWingfield,andstandunderyonderbeech——Lilyshalljoinyouthereandyoumayspeakwithherforthehalfofanhour——nomore。

  Seetoitthatyoukeepwithinsightofthewindow。

  Nay,nothanks;gobeforeIchangemymind。’

  SoIwentandwaitedunderthebeechwithabeatingheart,andpresentlyLilyglideduptome,amorewelcomesighttomyeyesthananyangeloutofheaven。

  And,indeed,Idoubtifanangelcouldhavebeenmorefairthanshe,ormoregoodandgentle。

  ’Oh!Thomas,’shewhispered,whenIhadgreetedher,’isthistruethatyousailoverseatoseektheSpaniard?’

  ’IsailtoseektheSpaniard,andtofindhimandtokillhimwhenheisfound。

  Itwastocometoyou,Lily,thatIlethimgo,nowI

  mustletyougotocometohim。

  Nay,donotweep,Ihavesworntodoit,andwereItobreakmyoathIshouldbedishonoured。’

  ’AndbecauseofthisoathofyoursImustbewidowed,Thomas,beforeIamawife?

  YougoandIshallneverseeyoumore。’

  ’Whocansay,mysweet?

  Myfatherwentoverseasandcamebacksafe,havingpassedthroughmanyperils。’

  ’Yes,hecamebackand——notalone。

  Youareyoung,Thomas,andinfarcountriesthereareladiesgreatandfair,andhowshallIholdmyowninyourheartagainstthem,Ibeingsofaraway?’

  ’Isweartoyou,Lily——’

  ’Nay,Thomas,swearnooathslestyoushouldaddtoyoursinsbybreakingthem。

  Yet,love,forgetmenot,whoshallforgetyounever。

  Perhaps——oh!itwringsmyhearttosayit——thisisourlastmeetingontheearth。

  Ifso,thenwemusthopetomeetinheaven。

  Attheleastbesureofthis,whileIliveIwillbetruetoyou,andfatherornofather,IwilldiebeforeIbreakmytroth。

  Iamyoungtospeaksolargely,butitshallbeasIsay。

  Oh!thispartingismorecruelthandeath。

  Wouldthatwewereasleepandforgottenamongmen。

  Yetitisbestthatyoushouldgo,forifyoustayedwhatcouldwebetoeachotherwhilemyfatherlives,andmayhelivelong!’

  ’Sleepandforgetfulnesswillcomesoonenough,Lily;nonemustawaitthemforverylong。

  Meanwhilewehaveourlivestolive。

  Letuspraythatwemaylivethemtoeachother。

  Igotoseekfortuneaswellasfoes,andIwillwinitforyoursakethatwemaymarry。’

  Sheshookherheadsadly。

  ’Itweretoomuchhappiness,Thomas。

  Menandwomenmayseldomwedtheirtrueloves,oriftheydo,itisbuttolosethem。

  Attheleastwelove,andletusbethankfulthatwehavelearnedwhatlovecanbe,forhavinglovedhere,perchanceattheworstwemayloveotherwherewhentherearenonetosayusnay。’

  Thenwetalkedonawhile,babblingbrokenwordsofloveandhopeandsorrow,asyoungfolkssoplacedarewonttodo,tillatlengthLilylookedupwithasadsweetsmileandsaid:

  ’Itistimetogo,sweetheart。

  Myfatherbeckonsmefromthelattice。

  Allisfinished。’

  ’Letusgothen,’Iansweredhuskily,anddrewherbehindthetrunkoftheoldbeech。

  AndthereIcaughtherinmyarmsandkissedheragainandyetagain,norwassheashamedtokissmeback。

  AfterthisIrememberlittleofwhathappened,exceptthataswerodeawayIsawherbelovedface,wanandwistful,watchingmedepartingoutofherlife。

  Fortwentyyearsthatsadandbeautifulfacehauntedme,andithauntsmeyetathwartlifeanddeath。

  OtherwomenhavelovedmeandIhaveknownotherpartings,someofthemmoreterrible,butthememoryofthiswomanasshewasthen,andofherfarewelllook,overrunsthemall。

  WheneverIgazedownthepastIseethispictureframedinitandIknowthatitisonewhichcannotfade。

  Arethereanysorrowslikethesesorrowsofouryouth?

  Cananybitternessequalthebitternessofsuchgood-byes?

  IknowbutoneofwhichIwasfatedtotasteinafteryears,andthatshallbetoldofinitsplace。

  itisacommonjesttomockatearlylove,butifitbereal,ifitbesomethingmorethanthemerearisingofthepassions,earlyloveislatelovealso;itisloveforever,thebestandworsteventwhichcanbefallamanorwoman。

  Isayitwhoamoldandwhohavedonewitheverything,anditistrue。

  OnethingIhaveforgotten。

  Aswekissedandclunginourdespairbehindtheboleofthegreatbeech,Lilydrewaringfromherfingerandpresseditintomyhandsaying,’Lookonthiseachmorningwhenyouwake,andthinkofme。

  Ithadbeenhermother’s,andto-dayitstillissetuponmywitheredhand,gleaminginthewintersunlightasItracethesewords。

  Throughthelongyearsofwildadventure,throughallthetimeofafterpeace,inloveandwar,intheshineofthecampfire,intheglareofthesacrificialflame,inthelightoflonelystarsilluminingthelonelywilderness,thatringhasshoneuponmyhand,remindingmealwaysofherwhogaveit,andonthishanditshallgodownintothegrave。

  Itisaplaincircletofthickgold,somewhatwornnow,aposy-ring,andonitsinnersurfaceiscutthisquaintcouplet:

  Hearttoheart,Thoughfarapart。

  Afittingmottoforusindeed,andonethathasitsmeaningtothishour。

  ThatsamedayofourfarewellIrodewithmyfathertoYarmouth。

  MybrotherGeoffreydidnotcomewithus,butwepartedwithkindlywords,andofthisIamglad,forweneversaweachotheragain。

  NomorewassaidbetweenusastoLilyBozardandourwooingofher,thoughIknewwellenoughthatsosoonasmybackwasturnedhewouldtrytotakemyplaceatherside,asindeedhappened。

  I

  forgiveittohim;intruthIcannotblamehimmuch,forwhatmanistherethatwouldnothavedesiredtowedLilywhoknewher?

  Onceweweredearfriends,GeoffreyandI,butwhenweripenedtowardsmanhood,ourloveofLilycamebetweenus,andwegrewmoreandmoreapart。

  Itisacommoncaseenough。

  Well,asitchancedhefailed,sowhyshouldIthinkunkindlyofhim?

  Letmeratherremembertheaffectionofourchildhoodandforgettherest。

  Godresthissoul。

  Mary,mysister,whoafterLilyBozardwasnowthefairestmaideninthecountryside,weptmuchatmygoing。

  Therewasbutayearbetweenus,andwelovedeachotherdearly,fornosuchshadowofjealousyhadfallenonouraffection。

  IcomfortedheraswellasI

  wasable,andtellingherallthathadpassedbetweenmeandLily,IprayedhertostandmyfriendandLily’s,shoulditeverbeinherpowertodoso。

  ThisMarypromisedtodoreadilyenough,andthoughshedidnotgivethereason,Icouldseethatshethoughtitpossiblethatshemightbeabletohelpus。

  AsIhavesaid,Lilyhadabrother,ayoungmanofsomepromise,whoatthistimewasawayatcollege,andheandmysisterMaryhadastrongfancyforeachother,thatmightormightnotripenintosomethingcloser。

  Sowekissedandbadefarewellwithtears。

  AndafterthatmyfatherandIrodeaway。

  ButwhenwehadpasseddownPirnhowStreet,andmountedthelittlehillbeyondWaingfordMillstotheleftofBungaytown,Ihaltedmyhorse,andlookedbackuponthepleasantvalleyoftheWaveneywhereIwasborn,andmyheartgrewfulltobursting。

  HadIknownallthatmustbefallme,beforemyeyesbeheldthatsceneagain,Ithinkindeedthatitwouldhaveburst。

  ButGod,whoinhiswisdomhaslaidmanyaburdenuponthebacksofmen,hassavedthemfromthis;forhadweforeknowledgeofthefuture,Ithinkthatofourownwillbutfewofuswouldlivetoseeit。

  SoIcastonelonglastlooktowardsthedistantmassofoaksthatmarkedthespotwhereLilylived,androdeon。

  OnthefollowingdayIembarkedonboardthe’Adventuress’andwesailed。

  BeforeIleft,myfather’sheartsoftenedmuchtowardsme,forherememberedthatIwasmymother’sbestbeloved,andfearedalsolestweshouldmeetnomore。

  Somuchdiditsoftenindeed,thatatthelasthourhechangedhismindandwishedtoholdmebackfromgoing。

  Buthavingputmyhandtotheploughandsufferedallthebitternessoffarewell,Iwouldnotreturntobemockedbymybrotherandmyneighbours。

  ’Youspeaktoolate,father,’I

  said。

  ’Youdesiredmetogotoworkthisvengeanceandstirredmetoitwithmanybitterwords,andnowIwouldgoifIknewthatI

  mustdiewithinaweek,forsuchoathscannotbelightlybroken,andtillmineisfulfilledthecurserestsonme。’

  ’Sobeit,son,’heansweredwithasigh。

  ’Yourmother’scrueldeathmaddenedmeandIsaidwhatImaylivetobesorryfor,thoughatthebestIshallnotlivelong,formyheartisbroken。

  PerhapsIshouldhaverememberedthatvengeanceisinthehandoftheLord,whowreaksitatHisowntimeandwithoutourhelp。

  Donotthinkunkindlyofme,myboy,ifweshouldchancetomeetnomore,forIloveyou,anditwasbutthedeeperlovethatIboretoyourmotherwhichmademedealharshlywithyou。’

  ’Iknowit,father,andbearnogrudge。

  Butifyouthinkthatyouowemeanything,payitbyholdingbackmybrotherfromworkingwrongtomeandLilyBozardwhileIamabsent。’

  ’Iwilldomybest,son,thoughwereitnotthatyouandshehavegrownsodeartoeachother,thematchwouldhavepleasedmewell。

  ButasIhavesaid,Ishallnotbelongheretowatchyourwelfareinthisoranyothermatter,andwhenIamgonethingsmustfollowtheirownfate。

  DonotforgetyourGodoryourhomewhereveryouchancetowander,Thomas:keepyourselffrombrawling,bewareofwomenthatarethesnareofyouth,andsetawatchuponyourtongueandyourtemperwhichisnotofthebest。

  Moreover,whereveryoumaybedonotspeakillofthereligionoftheland,ormakeamockofitbyyourwayoflife,lestyoushouldlearnhowcruelmencanbewhentheythinkthatitispleasingtotheirgods,asIhavelearntalready。’

  IsaidthatIwouldbearhiscounselinmind,andindeeditsavedmefrommanyasorrow。

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