mymindaboutdiscoveringmyselftomybrother，formerly
myhusband，thatIcouldnotwithstandthem；andtherather，
becauseitranconstantlyinmythoughts，thatifIdidnotdo
itwhilehelived，Imightinvainendeavourtoconvincemy
sonafterwardthatIwasreallythesameperson，andthatIwas
hismother，andsomightbothlosetheassistanceandcomfort
oftherelation，andthebenefitofwhateveritwasmymother
hadleftme；andyet，ontheotherhand，Icouldneverthinkit
propertodiscovermyselftotheminthecircumstancesIwas
in，aswellrelatingtothehavingahusbandwithmeastomy
beingbroughtoverbyalegaltransportationasacriminal；on
bothwhichaccountsitwasabsolutelynecessarytometo
removefromtheplacewhereIwas，andcomeagaintohim，
asfromanotherplaceandinanotherfigure。
Uponthoseconsiderations，
Iwentonwithtellingmyhusband
theabsolutenecessitytherewasofournotsettlinginPotomac
River，atleastthatweshouldbepresentlymadepublicthere；
whereasifwewenttoanyotherplaceintheworld，weshould
comeinwithasmuchreputationasanyfamilythatcameto
plant；that，asitwasalwaysagreeabletotheinhabitantsto
havefamiliescomeamongthemtoplant，whobroughtsubstance
withthem，eithertopurchaseplantationsorbeginnewones，
soweshouldbesureofakind，agreeablereception，andthat
withoutanypossibilityofadiscoveryofourcircumstances。
Itoldhimingeneral，too，thatasIhadseveralrelationsinthe
placewherewewas，andthatIdurstnotnowletmyselfbe
knowntothem，becausetheywouldsooncomeintoaknowledge
oftheoccasionandreasonofmycomingover，whichwouldbe
toexposemyselftothelastdegree，soIhadreasontobelieve
thatmymother，whodieshere，hadleftmesomething，and
perhapsconsiderable，whichitmightbeverywellworthmy
whiletoinquireafter；butthatthistoocouldnotbedone
withoutexposinguspublicly，unlesswewentfromhence；and
then，whereverwesettled，Imightcome，asitwere，tovisit
andtoseemybrotherandnephews，makemyselfknownto
them，claimandinquireafterwhatwasmydue，bereceived
withrespect，andatthesametimehavejusticedonemewith
cheerfulnessandgoodwill；whereas，ifIdiditnow，Icould
expectnothingbutwithtrouble，suchasexactingitbyforce，
receivingitwithcursesandreluctance，andwithallkindsof
affronts，whichhewouldnotperhapsbeartosee；thatincase
ofbeingobligedtolegalproofsofbeingreallyherdaughter，
Imightbeatloss，beobligedtohaverecoursetoEngland，and
itmaybetofailatlast，andsoloseit，whateveritmightbe。
Withthesearguments，andhavingthusacquaintedmyhusband
withthewholesecretsofaraswasneedfulofhim，weresolved
togoandseekasettlementinsomeothercolony，andatfirst
thoughts，Carolinewastheplacewepitchedupon。
Inordertothiswebegantomakeinquiryforvesselsgoingto
Carolina，andinaverylittlewhilegotinformation，thatonthe
othersidethebay，astheycallit，namely，inMaryland，there
wasashipwhichcamefromCarolina，ladenwithriceand
othergoods，andwasgoingbackagainthither，andfrom
thencetoJamaica，withprovisions。
Onthisnewswehireda
slooptotakeinourgoods，andtaking，asitwere，afinal
farewellofPotomacRiver，wewentwithallourcargoover
toMaryland。
Thiswasalongandunpleasantvoyage，andmyspousesaid
itwasworsetohimthanallthevoyagefromEngland，because
theweatherwasbutindifferent，thewaterrough，andthe
vesselsmallandinconvenient。
Inthenextplace，wewerefull
ahundredmilesupPotomacRiver，inapartwhichtheycall
WestmorelandCounty，andasthatriverisbyfarthegreatest
inVirginia，andIhaveheardsayitisthegreatestriverinthe
worldthatfallsintoanotherriver，andnotdirectlyintothesea，
sowehadbaseweatherinit，andwerefrequentlyingreat
danger；forthoughwewereinthemiddle，wecouldnotsee
landoneithersideformanyleaguestogether。
Thenwehad
thegreatriverorbayofChesapeaketocross，whichiswhere
theriverPotomacfallsintoit，nearthirtymilesbroad，andwe
enteredmoregreatvastwaterswhosenamesIknownot，so
thatourvoyagewasfulltwohundredmiles，inapoor，sorry
sloop，withallourtreasure，andifanyaccidenthadhappened
tous，wemightatlasthavebeenverymiserable；supposing
wehadlostourgoodsandsavedourlivesonly，andhadthen
beenleftnakedanddestitute，andinawild，strangeplacenot
havingonefriendoracquaintanceinallthatpartoftheworld。
Theverythoughtofitgivesmesomehorror，evensincethe
dangerispast。
Well，wecametotheplaceinfivedays’sailing；Ithinkthey
callitPhilip’sPoint；andbehold，whenwecamethither，the
shipboundtoCarolinawasloadedandgoneawaybutthree
daysbefore。
Thiswasadisappointment；；but，however，I，
thatwastobediscouragedwithnothing，toldmyhusband
thatsincewecouldnotgetpassagetoCaroline，andthatthe
countrywewasinwasveryfertileandgood，wewould，ifhe
likedofit，seeifwecouldfindoutanythingforourtunewhere
wewas，andthatifhelikedthingswewouldsettlehere。
Weimmediatelywentonshore，butfoundnoconveniences
justatthatplace，eitherforourbeingonshoreorpreserving
ourgoodsonshore，butwasdirectedbyaveryhonestQuaker，
whomwefoundthere，togotoaplaceaboutsixtymileseast；
thatistosay，nearerthemouthofthebay，wherehesaidhe
lived，andwhereweshouldbeaccommodated，eithertoplant，
ortowaitforanyotherplacetoplantinthatmightbemore
convenient；andheinviteduswithsomuchkindnessand
simplyhonesty，thatweagreedtogo，andtheQuakerhimself
wentwithus。
Hereweboughtustwoservants，viz。anEnglishwoman-servant
justcomeonshorefromashipofLiverpool，andaNegro
man-servant，thingsabsolutelynecessaryforallpeoplethat
pretendedtosettleinthatcountry。
ThishonestQuakerwas
veryhelpfultous，andwhenwecametotheplacethathe
proposedtous，foundusoutaconvenientstorehouseforour
goods，andlodgingforourselvesandourservants；andabout
twomonthsorthereaboutsafterwards，byhisdirection，we
tookupalargepieceoflandfromthegovernorofthatcountry，
inordertoformourplantation，andsowelaidthethoughts
ofgoingtoCarolinewhollyaside，havingbeenverywell
receivedhere，andaccommodatedwithaconvenientlodging
tillwecouldpreparethings，andhavelandenoughcleared，
andtimberandmaterialsprovidedforbuildingusahouse，all
whichwemanagedbythedirectionoftheQuaker；sothatin
oneyear’stimewehadnearlyfiftyacresoflandcleared，part
ofitenclosed，andsomeofitplantedwithtabacco，though
notmuch；besides，wehadgardengroundandcornsufficient
tohelpsupplyourservantswithrootsandherbsandbread。
AndnowIpersuadedmyhusbandtoletmegooverthebay
again，andinquireaftermyfriends。
Hewasthewillingerto
consenttoitnow，becausehehadbusinessuponhishands
sufficienttoemployhim，besideshisguntodiverthim，which
theycallhuntingthere，andwhichhegreatlydelightedin；and
indeedweusedtolookatoneanother，sometimeswithagreat
dealofpleasure，reflectinghowmuchbetterthatwas，notthan
Newgateonly，butthanthemostprosperousofourcircumstances
inthewickedtradethatwehadbeenbothcarryingon。
Ouraffairwasinaverygoodposture；wepurchasedofthe
proprietorsofthecolonyasmuchlandfor#35，paidinready
money，aswouldmakeasufficientplantationtoemploy
betweenfiftyandsixtyservants，andwhich，beingwell
improved，wouldbesufficienttousaslongaswecouldeither
ofuslive；andasforchildren，Iwaspasttheprospectof
anythingofthatkind。
Butoutgoodfortunedidnotendhere。
Iwent，asIhavesaid，
overthebay，totheplacewheremybrother，onceahusband，
lived；butIdidnotgotothesamevillagewhereIwasbefore，
butwentupanothergreatriver，ontheeastsideoftheriver
Potomac，calledRappahannockRiver，andbythismeans
cameonthebackofhisplantation，whichwaslarge，andby
thehelpofanavigablecreek，orlittleriver，thatranintothe
Rappahannock，Icameverynearit。
Iwasnowfullyresolvedtogouppoint-blanktomybrother
husband，andtotellhimwhoIwas；butnotknowingwhat
temperImightfindhimin，orhowmuchoutoftemperrather，
Imightmakehimbysucharashvisit，Iresolvedtowritea
lettertohimfirst，tolethimknowwhoIwas，andthatIwas
comenottogivehimanytroubleupontheoldrelation，which
Ihopedwasentirelyforgot，butthatIappliedtohimasasister
toabrother，desiringhisassistanceinthecaseofthatprovision
whichourmother，atherdecease，hadleftformysupport，and
whichIdidnotdoubtbuthewoulddomejusticein，especially
consideringthatIwascomethusfartolookafterit。
Isaidsomeverytender，kindthingsintheletterabouthis
son，whichItoldhimheknewtobemyownchild，andthat
asIwasguiltyofnothinginmarryinghim，anymorethanhe
wasinmarryingme，neitherofushavingthenknownour
beingatallrelatedtooneanother，soIhopedhewouldallow
methemostpassionatedesireofonceseeingmyoneandonly
child，andofshowingsomethingoftheinfirmitiesofamother
inpreservingaviolentaffectforhim，whohadneverbeen
abletoretainanythoughtofmeonewayorother。
Ididbelievethat，havingreceivedthisletter，hewould
immediatelygiveittohissontoread，Ihavingunderstood
hiseyesbeingsodim，thathecouldnotseetoreadit；butit
felloutbetterthanso，forashissightwasdim，sohehad
allowedhissontoopenalllettersthatcametohishandfor
him，andtheoldgentlemanbeingfromhome，oroutofthe
waywhenmymessengercame，mylettercamedirectlytomy
son’shand，andheopenedandreadit。
Hecalledthemessengerin，aftersomelittlestay，andasked
himwherethepersonwaswhogavehimtheletter。
The
messengertoldhimtheplace，whichwasaboutsevenmiles
off，sohebidhimstay，andorderingahorsetobegotready，
andtwoservants，awayhecametomewiththemessenger。
LetanyonejudgetheconsternationIwasinwhenmy
messengercameback，andtoldmetheoldgentlemanwasnot
athome，buthissonwascomealongwithhim，andwasjust
cominguptome。
Iwasperfectlyconfounded，forIknewnot
whetheritwaspeaceorwar，norcouldItellhowtobehave；
however，Ihadbutaveryfewmomentstothink，formyson
wasattheheelsofthemessenger，andcomingupintomy
lodgings，askedthefellowatthedoorsomething。