Thissatisfiedtheparishofficerspresently，andIlayin
withasmuchcreditasIcouldhavedoneifIhadreallybeen
myLadyCleve，andwasassistedinmytravailbythreeorfour
ofthebestcitizens’wivesofBathwholivedintheneighbourhood，
which，however，mademealittlethemoreexpensivetohim。
Ioftenexpressedmyconcerntohimaboutit，buthebidmenot
beconcernedatit。
Ashehadfurnishedmeverysufficientlywithmoneyforthe
extraordinaryexpensesofmylyingin，Ihadeverythingvery
handsomeaboutme，butdidnotaffecttobegayorextravagant
neither；besides，knowingmyowncircumstances，andknowing
theworldasIhaddone，andthatsuchkindofthingsdonot
oftenlastlong，ItookcaretolayupasmuchmoneyasIcould
forawetday，asIcalledit；makinghimbelieveitwasallspent
upontheextraordinaryappearanceofthingsinmylyingin。
Bythismeans，andincludingwhathehadgivenmeasabove，
Ihadattheendofmylyinginabouttwohundredguineasby
me，includingalsowhatwasleftofmyown。
Iwasbroughttobedofafineboyindeed，andacharming
childitwas；andwhenheheardofithewrotemeaverykind，
obligingletteraboutit，andthentoldme，hethoughtitwould
lookbetterformetocomeawayforLondonassoonasIwas
upandwell；thathehadprovidedapartmentsformeat
Hammersmith，asifIcamethitheronlyfromLondon；andthat
afteralittlewhileIshouldgobacktotheBath，andhewould
gowithme。
Ilikedthisofferverywell，andaccordinglyhiredacoachon
purpose，andtakingmychild，andawet-nursetotendand
suckleit，andamaid-servantwithme，awayIwentforLondon。
HemetmeatReadinginhisownchariot，andtakingmeinto
that，lefttheservantandthechildinthehiredcoach，andso
hebroughtmetomynewlodgingsatHammersmith；with
whichIhadabundanceofreasontobeverywellpleased，for
theywereveryhandsomerooms，andIwasverywell
accommodated。
AndnowIwasindeedintheheightofwhatImightcallmy
prosperity，andIwantednothingbuttobeawife，which，
however，couldnotbeinthiscase，therewasnoroomforit；
andthereforeonalloccasionsIstudiedtosavewhatIcould，
asIhavesaidabove，againstatimeofscarcity，knowingwell
enoughthatsuchthingsasthesedonotalwayscontinue；that
menthatkeepmistressesoftenchangethem，growwearyof
them，orjealousofthem，orsomethingorotherhappensto
makethemwithdrawtheirbounty；andsometimestheladies
thatarethuswellusedarenotcarefulbyaprudentconduct
topreservetheesteemoftheirpersons，orthenicearticleof
theirfidelity，andthentheyarejustlycastoffwithcontempt。
ButIwassecuredinthispoint，forasIhadnoinclination
tochange，soIhadnomannerofacquaintanceinthewhole
house，andsonotemptationtolookanyfarther。
Ikeptno
companybutinthefamilywhenIlodged，andwiththe
clergyman’sladyatnextdoor；sothatwhenhewasabsentI
visitednobody，nordidheeveryfindmeoutofmychamber
orparlourwheneverhecamedown；ifIwentanywhereto
taketheair，itwasalwayswithhim。
Thelivinginthismannerwithhim，andhiswithme，was
certainlythemostundesignedthingintheworld；heoften
protestedtome，thatwhenhebecamefirstacquaintedwith
me，andeventotheverynightwhenwefirstbrokeinupon
ourrules，heneverhadtheleastdesignoflyingwithme；that
healwayshadasincereaffectionforme，butnottheleastreal
inclinationtodowhathehaddone。
IassuredhimInever
suspectedhim；thatifIhadIshouldnotsoeasilyhaveyielded
tothefreedomwhichbroughtiton，butthatitwasallasurprise，
andwasowingtotheaccidentofourhavingyieldedtoofarto
ourmutualinclinationsthatnight；andindeedIhaveoften
observedsince，andleaveitasacautiontothereadersofthis
story，thatweoughttobecautiousofgratifyingourinclinations
inlooseandlewdfreedoms，lestwefindourresolutionsof
virtuefailusinthejunctionwhentheirassistanceshouldbe
mostnecessary。
Itistrue，andIhaveconfesseditbefore，thatfromthefirst
hourIbegantoconversewithhim，Iresolvedtolethimlie
withme，ifheofferedit；butitwasbecauseIwantedhishelp
andassistance，andIknewnootherwayofsecuringhimthan
that。
Butwhenwerethatnighttogether，and，asIhavesaid，
hadgonesuchalength，Ifoundmyweakness；theinclination
wasnottoberesisted，butIwasobligedtoyieldupalleven
beforeheaskedit。
However，hewassojusttomethatheneverupbraidedme
withthat；nordidheeverexpresstheleastdislikeofmy
conductonanyotheroccasion，butalwaysprotestedhewas
asmuchdelightedwithmycompanyashewasthefirsthour
wecametogether:
Imean，cametogetherasbedfellows。
Itistruethathehadnowife，thatistosay，shewasasno
wifetohim，andsoIwasinnodangerthatway，butthejust
reflectionsofconscienceoftentimessnatchaman，especially
amanofsense，fromthearmsofamistress，asitdidhimat
last，thoughonanotheroccasion。
Ontheotherhand，thoughIwasnotwithoutsecretreproaches
ofmyownconscienceforthelifeIled，andthateveninthe
greatestheightofthesatisfactionIevertook，yetI
hadthe
terribleprospectofpovertyandstarving，whichlayonmeas
afrightfulspectre，sothattherewasnolookingbehindme。
Butaspovertybroughtmeintoit，sofearofpovertykeptme
init，andIfrequentlyresolvedtoleaveitquiteoff，ifIcould
butcometolayupmoneyenoughtomaintainme。
Butthese
werethoughtsofnoweight，andwheneverhecametomethey
vanished；forhiscompanywassodelightful，thattherewasno
beingmelancholywhenhewasthere；thereflectionswereall
thesubjectofthosehourswhenIwasalone。
Ilivedsixyearsinthishappybutunhappycondition，inwhich
timeIbroughthimthreechildren，butonlythefirstofthem
lived；andthoughIremovedtwiceinthosesixyears，yetIcame
backthesixthyeartomyfirstlodgingsatHammersmith。
HereitwasthatIwasonemorningsurprisedwithakindbut
melancholyletterfrommygentleman，intimatingthathewas
veryill，andwasafraidheshouldhaveanotherfitofsickness，
butthathiswife’srelationsbeinginthehousewithhim，it
wouldnotbepracticabletohavemewithhim，which，however，
heexpressedhisgreatdissatisfactionin，andthathewishedI
couldbeallowedtotendandnursehimasIdidbefore。
Iwasverymuchconcernedatthisaccount，andwasvery
impatienttoknowhowitwaswithhim。
Iwaitedafortnight
orthereabouts，andheardnothing，whichsurprisedme，andI
begantobeveryuneasyindeed。
Ithink，Imaysay，thatfor
thenextfortnightIwasneartodistracted。
Itwasmyparticular
difficultythatIdidnotknowdirectlywhenhewas；forI
understoodatfirsthewasinthelodgingsofhiswife’smother；
buthavingremovedmyselftoLondon，Isoonfound，bythe
helpofthedirectionIhadforwritingmyletterstohim，how
toinquireafterhim，andthereIfoundthathewasatahouse
inBloomsbury，whitherhehad，alittlebeforehefellsick，
removedhiswholefamily；andthathiswifeandwife’smother
wereinthesamehouse，thoughthewifewasnotsufferedto
knowthatshewasinthesamehousewithherhusband。
HereIalsosoonunderstoodthathewasatthelastextremity，
whichmademealmostatthelastextremitytoo，tohaveatrue
account。
OnenightIhadthecuriositytodisguisemyselflike
aservant-maid，inaroundcapandstrawhat，andwenttothe
door，assentbyaladyofhisneighbourhood，wherehelived
before，andgivingmasterandmistress’sservice，IsaidIwas
senttoknowhowMr——did，andhowhehadrestedthatnight。
IndeliveringthismessageIgottheopportunityIdesired；for，
speakingwithoneofthemaids，Iheldalonggossip’stalewith
her，andhadalltheparticularsofhisillness，whichIfoundwas
apleurisy，attendedwithacoughandafever。
Shetoldmealso
whowasinthehouse，andhowhiswifewas，who，byher
relation，theywereinsomehopesmightrecoverherunderstanding；
butastothegentlemanhimself，inshortshetoldmethedoctors
saidtherewasverylittlehopesofhim，thatinthemorning
theythoughthehadbeendying，andthathewasbutlittlebetter
then，fortheydidnotexpectthathecouldliveoverthenext
night。
Thiswasheavynewsforme，andIbegannowtoseeanend
ofmyprosperity，andtoseealsothatitwasverywellIhad
playedtogoodhousewife，andsecuredorsavedsomething
whilehewasalive，forthatnowIhadnoviewofmyown
livingbeforeme。
Itlayveryheavyuponmymind，too，thatIhadason，afine
lovelyboy，aboutfiveyearsold，andnoprovisionmadeforit，
atleastthatIknewof。
Withtheseconsiderations，andasad
heart，Iwenthomethatevening，andbegantocastwithmyself
howIshouldlive，andinwhatmannertobestowmyself，for
theresidueofmylife。
YoumaybesureIcouldnotrestwithoutinquiringagainvery
quicklywhatwasbecomeofhim；andnotventuringtogo
myself，Isentseveralshammessengers，tillafterafortnight’s
waitinglonger，Ifoundthattherewashopesofhislife，though
hewasstillveryill；thenIabatedmysendinganymoretothe
house，andinsometimeafterIlearnedintheneighbourhood
thathewasabouthouse，andthenthathewasabroadagain。
ImadenodoubtthenbutthatIshouldsoonhearofhim，
andbegantocomfortmyselfwithmycircumstancesbeing，as
Ithought，recovered。Iwaitedaweek，andtwoweeks，and
withmuchsurpriseandamazementIwaitedneartwomonths
andheardnothing，butthat，beingrecovered，hewasgoneinto
thecountryfortheair，andforthebetterrecoveryafterhis
distemper。
Afterthisitwasyettwomonthsmore，andthenI
understoodhewascometohiscityhouseagain，butstillI
heardnothingfromhim。
Ihadwrittenseverallettersforhim，anddirectedthemas
usual，andfoundtwoorthreeofthemhadbeencalledfor，but
nottherest。
Iwroteagaininamorepressingmannerthan
ever，andinoneofthemlethimknow，thatImustbeforced
towaitonhimmyself，representingmycircumstances，therent
oflodgingstopay，andtheprovisionforthechildwanting，and
myowndeplorablecondition，destituteofsubsistenceforhis
mostsolemnengagementtotakecareofandprovideforme。
Itookacopyofthisletter，andfindingitlayatthehousenear
amonthandwasnotcalledfor，Ifoundmeanstohavethecopy
ofitputintohisownhandsatacoffee-house，whereIhadby
inquiryfoundheusedtogo。
Thisletterforcedananswerfromhim，bywhich，thoughI
foundIwastobeabandoned，yetIfoundhehadsentaletter
tomesometimebefore，desiringmetogodowntotheBath
again。
ItscontentsIshallcometopresently。
Itistruethatsick-bedsarethetimewhensuchcorrespondences
asthisarelookedonwithdifferentcountenances，andseen
withothereyesthanwesawthemwith，orthantheyappeared
withbefore。