youtoo，ducdeRichelieu，doyoujointhecryof
thechancellor？“
“Iwouldtearouttheeyesofthesegentlemen，“Iadded，“if
theythoughtdifferentlyfromme。“
“Oh，“saidtheking，laughing，“thispunishmentwouldnotbeone
forM。Maupeou:justiceoughttobeblind:andasforyou，M。de
Richelieu，youhaveyourleft。“
“Whichhehasnoblygained，“Ireplied，“byfightingagainstyour
majesty’senemies，andofwhichhestillcontinuesworthy，bynow
defendingmefrommyfoes。“
“Thisrebellion，“saidtheking，“cannotlast，andIseemyself
compelledtoholdaajudicialsittingorbed。“
“AndIsweartoyou，thatIwillreceivenobodyintomineuntilI
havebeenpresented。“
Thissallyamusedtheking，whosaid，“Well，sinceitmustbeso，
youshallbepresented。“
AtthisIleapedontheking’sneck，givingacrywhichmighthave
beenheardbymyrivals。
Afterthat，Iadvancedtothetwo
gentlemenwhohadadvocatedmycausesowell，extendingahandto
each，whichtheytookandkissedwithgreatgallantry。
LouisXVbecamethoughtful，andcontinuedtomutterbetweenhis
teeth，“Iwashmyhandsofit——theywillcryout，theywillclamor，
butitmustbeso。“
Isawthefeelingsoftheking，andtookcare
nottoallowhimtogoawayinthisstate。
WhilstIsoughtto
composehimbymycaresses，theducdeRichelieutoldusoneof
histhousandandoneadventures，whichhetoldsowell。
Iknow
notifitwillpleaseyou，butsuchasitisIshallgiveyouan
abridgmentofit。
“Iwas，youknow，“hebegan，“averygood-looking，averywild
fellow:womenhavenoobjectiontothis。
Iwastravelling，and
inmywaythro’D——，M。，theintendantofthecity，insistedon
mytakingupmyabodeathishouse。
Hisladyaddedherentreaties，
andIconsented。
Imusttellyouthattheladywashandsome。
I
hadpassedthenightwithher；butwhen，onthenextmorning，as
Isoughttogooutofherapartment，Ifoundtheouterdoordouble
lockedandbolted。
Ilookedroundmeonallsides，butfoundno
egress。
WhilstIwaslamentingthiswiththelady’s，whowasnearlyasmuchdistressedashermistress，I
sawinadetachedclosetagreatmanymachinescoveredwithpaper，
andallofdifferentshapes。
Oninquiry，Iwasinformedthatthe
followingMondaywasthelady’sbirthday，whichtheywereto
celebratewithfireworks。
Ilookedatthebeautifulfuseesand
brilliantsunswithmuchadmiration。
Suddenly，thinkingofthe
lady’shonorwhichmightbecompromised，Itookalightandset
firetoaRomancandle；inamomentthewholewasinflames，and
everybodytookalarm。
Greatwastheconsternationinthehouse，
whichwasturnedoutofwindows；andintheuproar，thehouse-door
beingbrokenopen，acrowdofpersonsrushedin；Iranthisway
andthatway；everybodyadmiredandpraisedmyexertions。
Iwas
compelledtoquitthehouseatlast，andorderedmycarriage，whilst
M。theintendantwasthankingmeforthevastserviceIhadrendered
him。
Iassureyou，sire，thatIneverlaughedmoreheartily。“*
*TheducdeRichelieupreservedhiscoolnessand
talentatreparteeinthemosttrivialcircumstances。
Thestoryiswellknownofthemanwhocameto
askforhisaid，sayingtheywererelated。
“How？“
askedtheduke。
“Sir，byAdam。“
“Givethismana
penny，“saidtheduke，turningtoagentlemanofhis
train；“andifallofhisrelationsgivehimasmuch
hewillsoonbearichermanthanIam。“
Ifourreaderswillturnto“JoeMiller，“Page45，
theywillfindthisjestattributedtothewitty
dukeofBuckingham。
Itisaverygoodjokefora
duke，butsavorsmoreofadesiretobewittythan
tobecharitable。
translator
Thistaleamusedtheking，andM。deRichelieuassuredhimthathe
hadnevertolditbefore。
Athousandconsiderationshadinduced
himtokeepittohimselfuntilthepresenttime。
“Butnow，“said
he，“thethirdgenerationofmadamel’intendanteisnolonger
young，andIhavenofearofbeingcalledouttofightaduel。“
Nextdaytherewasageneralrumorofmypresentation。
Myfriends
assertedthatIhadtheking’spromise。
Thiswasimprudenton
theirpart，andtheyinjuredmyinterestwhilsttheyflatteredmy
vanity。
TheyputtheChoiseulcabaltowork，whointriguedso
wellthatnotapersoncouldbefoundwhowouldperformthe
officeofintroductress。
Youknowthecustom:thepresentation
iseffectedbytheintermediationofanotherlady，whoconducts
thepersontobepresentedtotheprincesses，andintroducesher。
Thiscustomhadpassedintoalaw，anditwouldhavebeentoo
humiliatingtometohavedispensedwithit。
Thiswasadireblowforme:itdistressedmesadly，andIwept
overitwithmyfriends。
TheducdeRicheliensaidtome，
“Withmoneyandpromiseseverythingcanbemanagedatcourt。
There
isnoplacewheretheyknowbetterhowtovaluecomplaisance，and
thepriceatwhichitissold。
Donotgiveyourselfanyuneasiness；
weshallfindtheladywewant。“
Andwedidfindher，buthercompliancewasdearlybought。
Two
ladieswhowereappliedtostipulatedformostoutrageous
conditions。
One，themarquisedeCastellane，consentedtopresent
me，butdemandedthatsheshouldbecreatedaduchess，andhave
agiftoffivehundredthousandlivres:theother，whosenameI
forget，askedforherhusbandtheorderoftheHolyGhostand
agovernment，aregimentforherson，andforherselfIforget
what。
Theseladiesseemedtothink，likeDonQuixoteandSancho
Panza，thatgovernmentsandfivehundredthousandlivreswereto
bepickeduponthehighway。
Intruth，theyspokeout
withoutdisguise。
Atthisjuncturethechancellorhadasingularconversation
concerningmewiththeChoiseuls。
Hehadbeenonemorningto
callontheduke，andwhilsttheywerediscoursing，theduchesse
deGrammontcameintoherbrother’sapartment，andenteredat
onceintoconversation。
“Ah，mylord，Iamgladtoseeyou。
Yournewfriendscarryyou
offfromyouroldones。
Youarewrongtoadoretherisingsun。“
’Thatwastheidolatryofagreatnumberofpersons:butIbegof
youtobesoverykindasnottospeaktomeinfigures，ifyou
wouldwishmetounderstandyou。“
“Oh，youplayofftheignorant。
YouknowaswellasIdowhatI
mean，andyourdailyvisitstothis。“
“Which，madame？
Therearesomanyatcourt！“
Thissarcasticreplymadethebrotherandsistersmile；bothof
thembeingfullycompetenttounderstandthemeritofanepigram。
Thedukefearinglesttheduchessshouldgotoofar，judgingby
whatshehadalreadysaid，thusaddressedhim:
“Youare，then，oneoftheadorersofthecomtesseduBarry？“
“Yes，monsieurledue；andwouldtoGodthat，foryourown
interest，youwouldbesotoo！“
“Mybrothersetfootinthehouseofthiscreature！“
“Whynot，madame？
Weseegoodcompanythere；theprincede
Soubise，theducsdelaTrimouille，delaVauguyon，Duras，
Richelieu，d’Aiguillon，andmanyothers，nottomentiontheking
ofFrance。
Agentlemanmaybeseeninsuchcompanywithout
anydisgrace。“
“Monsieurlechevalier，“repliedtheduke，“tospeakcandidlyto
you，allowmetoask，ifanyonewhowouldhavethefriendshipof
ourhousewouldbeseeninthatoftheladyinquestion？“
“Pardonme，duke；thatisnotthequestion。
Allowme，inturn，
toaskyou，whythoseofyourhouseshouldnotgothere？
This，
Ithink，istherealquestion。“
“Youofferusasplendidalliance！“
saidtheduchesswithanger。
“Ioffernothing，madame:Ionlyinquire。
Formypart，Iseeno
legitimatemotiveforthisproscriptionofmadameduBarry。“
“Awomanwithoutcharacter！“
“Character！
Why，madame，whohasanyinthesedays？
M。deCrebillon
theyoungerwouldbeatalosstotelluswheretofindit。“
Thisreplymadethedukeandhissistersmileagain。
Thechancellor
wentonthus:
“Itappearstomethatpersonswerelessdifficultinthetimes
ofmadamedePompadour。“
“Butacreaturewhohasbeensolowinsociety！“
“Haveyouseenherso，madame？
Andsupposingithasbeenthe
case，doweinterdictallladiesofconductnotlessblamablefrom
anintroductionatcourt。
Howmanycanyouenumerate，madame，
whohaveledalifemuchmorescandalous？
Letuscountthemon
ourfingers。