第1章
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  byAristophanesanonymoustranslatorCHARACTERSINTHEPLAY

  DEMOSTHENES

  NICIAS

  AGORACRITUS,aSausage—SellerCLEON

  DEMOS

  CHORUSOFKNIGHTS

  KNIGHTS

  (SCENE:—TheOrchestrarepresentsthePnyxatAthens;intheback—

  groundisthehouseofDEMOS。)

  DEMOSTHENES

  Oh!alas!alas!alas!Oh!woe!oh!woe!MiserablePaphlagonian!

  maythegodsdestroybothhimandhiscursedadvice!Sincethatevildaywhenthisnewslaveenteredthehousehehasneverceasedbelabouringuswithblows。

  NICIAS

  Maytheplagueseizehim,thearch—fiend—himandhislyingtales!

  DEMOSTHENES

  Hah!mypoorfellow,whatisyourcondition?

  NICIAS

  Verywretched,justlikeyourown。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Thencome,letussingaduetofgroansinthestyleofOlympus。

  DEMOSTHENESANDNICIAS

  Boo,hoo!boo,hoo!boo,hoo!boo,hoo!boo,hoo!boo,hoo!!

  DEMOSTHENES

  Bah!it’slostlabourtoweep!Enoughofgroaning!Letusconsidernowtosaveourpelts。

  NICIAS

  Buthowtodoit!Canyousuggestanything?

  DEMOSTHENES

  No,youbegin。Icedeyouthehonour。

  NICIAS

  ByApollo!no,notI。Come,havecourage!Speak,andthenIwillsaywhatIthink。

  DEMOSTHENES(intragicstyle)

  \"Ah!wouldyoubuttellmewhatIshouldtellyou!

  NICIAS

  Idarenot。HowcouldIexpressmythoughtswiththepompofEuripides?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Oh!pleasespareme!Donotpeltmewiththosevegetables,butfindsomewayofleavingourmaster。

  NICIAS

  Well,then!Say\"Let—us—bolt,\"likethis,inonebreath。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Ifollowyou—’Let—us—bolt。\"

  NICIAS

  Nowafter\"Let—us—bolt\"say\"at—top—speedDEMOSTHENES

  \"At—top—speed!

  NICIAS

  Splendid!justasifyouweremasturbating;firstslowly,\"Let—us—bolt\";thenquickandfirmly,\"at—top—speed!\"

  DEMOSTHENES

  Let—us—bolt,let—us—bolt—at—top—speed!

  NICIAS

  Hah!doesthatnotpleaseyou?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Yes,indeed,yetIfearyouromenbodesnogoodtomyhide。

  NICIAS

  Howso?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Becausemasturbationchafestheskin。

  NICIAS

  Thebestthingwecandoforthemomentistothrowourselvesatthefeetofthestatueofsomegod。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Ofwhichstatue?Anystatue?Doyouthenbelievetherearegods?

  NICIAS

  Certainly。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Whatproofhaveyou?

  NICIAS

  Theproofthattheyhavetakenagrudgeagainstme。Isthatnotenough?

  DEMOSTHENES

  I’mconvinceditis。Buttopasson。Doyouconsenttomytellingthespectatorsofourtroubles?

  NICIAS

  There’snothingwrongwiththat,andwemightaskthemtoshowusbytheirmanner,whetherourfactsandactionsaretotheirliking。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Iwillbeginthen。Wehaveaverybrutalmaster,aperfectgluttonforbeans,andmostbad—tempered;it’sDemosofthePnyx,anintolerableoldmanandhalfdeaf。Thebeginningoflastmonthheboughtaslave,aPaphlagoniantanner,anarrantrogue,theincarnationofcalumny。Thismanofleatherknowshisoldmasterthoroughly;heplaysthefawningcur,flatters,cajoles,wheedles,anddupeshimatwillwithlittlescrapsofleavings,whichheallowshimtoget。\"DearDemos,\"hewillsay,\"tryasinglecaseandyouwillhavedoneenough;thentakeyourbath,eat,swallowanddevour;herearethreeobols。\"ThenthePaphlagonianfilchesfromoneofuswhatwehavepreparedandmakesapresentofittoouroldman。TheotherdayIhadjustkneadedaSpartancakeatPylos,thecunningroguecamebehindmyback,sneakeditandofferedthecake,whichwasmyinvention,inhisownname。Hekeepsusatadistanceandsuffersnonebuthimselftowaituponthemaster;whenDemosisdining,hekeepsclosetohissidewithathonginhishandandputstheoratorstoflight。Hekeepssingingoraclestohim,sothattheoldmannowthinksofnothingbuttheSibyl。Then,whenheseeshimthoroughlyobfuscated,heusesallhiscunningandpilesupliesandcalumniesagainstthehousehold;thenwearescourgedandthePaphlagonianrunsaboutamongtheslavestodemandcontributionswiththreatsandgatherstheminwithbothhands。Hewillsay,\"YouseehowIhavehadHylasbeaten!Eithercontentmeordieatonce!\"Weareforcedtogive,forotherwisetheoldmantramplesonusandmakesuscrapforthallourbodycontains。(ToNICIAS)Theremustbeanendtoit,friendLetussee!whatcanbedone?Whowillgetusoutofthismess?

  NICIAS

  Thebestthing,friend,isourfamous\"Let—us—bolt!\"

  DEMOSTHENES

  ButnonecanescapethePaphlagonian,hiseyeiseverywhere。Andwhatastride!HehasonelegonPylosandtheotherintheAssembly;hisarsegapesexactlyoverthelandoftheChaonians,hishandsarewiththeAetoliansandhismindwiththeClopidians。

  NICIAS

  It’sbestthentodie;butletusseekthemostheroicdeath。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Letmethink,whatisthemostheroic?

  NICIAS

  Letusdrinkthebloodofabull;that’sthedeathThemistocleschose。

  DEMOSTHENES

  No,notthat,butabumperofgoodunmixedwineinhonouroftheGoodGenius;perchancewemaystumbleonahappythought。

  NICIAS

  Lookathim!\"Unmixedwine!\"Yourmindisondrinkintent?Canamanstrikeoutabrilliantthoughtwhendrunk?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Withoutquestion。Go,ninny,blowyourselfoutwithwater;doyoudaretoaccusewineofcloudingthereason?Quotememoremarvellouseffectsthanthoseofwine。Look!whenamandrinks,heisrich,everythinghetouchessucceeds,hegainslawsuits,ishappyandhelpshisfriends。Come,bringhitherquickaflagonofwine,thatImaysoakmybrainandgetaningeniousidea。

  NICIAS

  MyGod!Whatcanyourdrinkingdotohelpus?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Much。Butbringittome,whileItakemyseat。Oncedrunk,I

  shallstrewlittleideas,littlephrases,littlereasoningseverywhere。

  (NICIASentersthehouseandreturnsalmostimmediatelywithabottle。)

  NICIAS

  ItisluckyIwasnotcaughtinthehousestealingthewine。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Tellme,whatisthePaphlagoniandoingnow?

  NICIAS

  Thewretchhasjustgobbledupsomeconfiscatedcakes;heisdrunkandliesatfull—lengthsnoringonhishides。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Verywell,comealong,pourmeoutwineandplentyofit。

  NICIAS

  TakeitandofferalibationtoyourGoodGenius。

  DEMOSTHENES(tohimself)

  Inhale,ah,inhalethespiritofthegeniusofPramnium。(Hedrinks。Inspiredly)Ah!GoodGenius,thinetheplan,notmine!

  NICIAS

  Tellme,whatisit?

  DEMOSTHENES

  RunindoorsquickandstealtheoraclesofthePaphlagonian,whileheisasleep。

  NICIAS

  Blessme!IfearthisGoodGeniuswillbebutaveryBadGeniusforme。

  (Hegoesintothehouse。)

  DEMOSTHENES

  AndI’llsettheflagonnearme,thatImaymoistenmywittoinventsomebrilliantnotion。

  (NICIASentersthehouseandreturnsatonce。)

  NICIAS

  HowloudlythePaphlagonianfartsandsnores!Iwasabletoseizethesacredoracle,whichhewasguardingwiththegreatestcare,withouthisseeingme。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Oh!cleverfellow!Handithere,thatImayread。Come,pourmeoutsomedrink,bestiryourself!Letmeseewhatthereisinit。Oh!

  prophecy!Somedrink!somedrink!Quick!

  NICIAS

  Well!whatsaystheoracle?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Pouragain。

  NICIAS

  Is\"Pouragain\"intheoracle?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Oh,Bacis!

  NICIAS

  Butwhatisinit?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Quick!somedrink!

  NICIAS

  Bacisisverydry!

  DEMOSTHENES

  Oh!miserablePaphlagonian!Thistheniswhyyouhavesolongtakensuchprecautions;yourhoroscopegaveyouqualmsofterror。

  NICIAS

  Whatdoesitsay?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Itsaysherehowhemustend。

  NICIAS

  Andhow?

  DEMOSTHENES

  How?theoracleannouncesclearlythatadealerinoakummustfirstgovernthecity。

  NICIAS

  That’sonetradesman。Andafterhim,who?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Afterhim,asheep—dealer。

  NICIAS

  Twotradesmen,eh?Andwhatisthisone’sfate?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Toreignuntilafilthierscoundrelthanhearises;thenheperishesandinhisplacetheleather—sellerappears,thePaphlagonianrobber,thebawler,whoroarslikeatorrent。

  NICIAS

  Andtheleather—sellermustdestroythesheep—seller?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Yes。

  NICIAS

  Ohwoeisme!Wherecananothersellerbefound,isthereeveraoneleft?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Thereisyetone,whopliesafirst—ratetrade。

  NICIAS

  Tellme,pray,whatisthat?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Youreallywanttoknow?

  NICIAS

  Yes。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Wellthen!it’sasausage—sellerwhomustoverthrowhim。

  NICIAS

  Asausage—seller!Ah!byPosidon!whatafinetrade!Butwherecanthismanbefound?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Let’sseekhim。Butlook!thereheis,goingtowardsthemarket—place;’tisthegods,thegodswhosendhim!(Callingout)Thisway,thisway,oh;luckysausage—seller,comeforward,dearfriend,oursaviour,thesaviourofourcity。

  (EnterAGORACRITUS,asellerofsausages,carryingabasketofhiswares。)

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Whatisit?Whydoyoucallme?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Comehere,comeandlearnaboutyourgoodluck,youwhoareFortune’sfavourite!

  NICIAS

  Come!Relievehimofhisbasket—trayandtellhimtheoracleofthegod;IwillgoandlookafterthePaphlagonian。

  (Hegoesintothehouse。)

  DEMOSTHENES

  Firstputdownallyourgear,thenworshiptheearthandthegods。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Done。Whatisthematter?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Happiness,riches,power;to—dayyouhavenothing,to—morrowyouwillhaveall,oh!chiefofhappyAthens。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Whynotleavemetowashmytripeandtosellmysausagesinsteadofmakinggameofme?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Oh!thefool!Yourtripe!Doyouseethesetiersofpeople?

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Yes。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Youshallbemastertothemall,governorofthemarket,oftheharbours,ofthePnyx;youshalltrampletheSenateunderfoot,beabletocashierthegenerals,loadthemwithfetters,throwthemintogaol,andyouwillfornicateinthePrytaneum。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  What!I?

  DEMOSTHENES

  You,withoutadoubt。Butyoudonotyetseeallthegloryawaitingyou。StandonyourbasketandlookatalltheislandsthatsurroundAthens。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Iseethem。Whatthen?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Lookatthestorehousesandtheshipping。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Yes,Iamlooking。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Existsthereamortalmoreblestthanyou?Furthermore,turnyourrighteyetowardsCariaandyourlefttowardCarthage!

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Thenit’sablessingtobecock—eyed!

  DEMOSTHENES

  No,butyouaretheonewhoisgoingtotradeawayallthis。

  Accordingtotheoracleyoumustbecomethegreatestofmen。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Justtellmehowasausage—sellercanbecomeagreatman。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Thatispreciselywhyyouwillbegreat,becauseyouareasadrascalwithoutshame,nobetterthanacommonmarketrogue。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Idonotholdmyselfworthyofwieldingpower。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Oh!bythegods!Whydoyounotholdyourselfworthy?Haveyouthensuchagoodopinionofyourself?Come,areyouofhonestparentage?

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Bythegods!No!ofverybadindeed。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Spoiltchildoffortune,everythingfitstogethertoensureyourgreatness。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  ButIhavenothadtheleasteducation。Icanonlyread,andthatverybadly。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Thatiswhatmaystandinyourway,almostknowinghowtoread。

  Ademagoguemustbeneitheraneducatednoranhonestman;hehastobeanignoramusandarogue。Butdonot,donotletgothisgift,whichtheoraclepromises。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Butwhatdoestheoraclesay?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Faith,itisputtogetherinveryfineenigmaticalstyle,aselegantasitisdear:\"Whentheeagle—tannerwiththehookedclawsshallseizeastupiddragon,ablood—sucker,itwillbeanendtothehotPaphlagonianpickledgarlic。Thegodgrantsgreatglorytothesausage—sellersunlesstheyprefeirtoselltheirwares。\"

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Inwhatwaydoesthisconcernme?Pleaseinstructmyignorance。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Theeagle—tanneristhePaphlagonian。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Whatdothehookedclawsmean?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Itmeanstosay,thatherobsandpillagesuswithhisclaw—likehands。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Andthedragon?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Thatisquiteclear。Thedragonislongandsoalsoisthesausage;thesausagelikethedragonisadrinkerofblood。

  Thereforetheoraclesays,thatthedragonwilltriumphovertheeagle—tanner,ifhedoesnotlethimselfbecajoledwithwords。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Theoraclesofthegodsflatterme!Faith!IdonotatallunderstandhowIcanbecapableofgoverningthepeople。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Nothingsimpler。Continueyourtrade。Mixandkneadtogetherallthestatebusinessasyoudoforyoursausages。Towinthepeople,alwayscookthemsomesavourythatpleasesthem。Besides,youpossessalltheattributesofademagogue;ascreeching,horriblevoice,aperverse,cross—grainednatureandthelanguageofthemarket—place。Inyouallisunitedwhichisneedfulforgoverning。Theoraclesareinyourfavour,evenincludingthatofDelphi。Come,takeachaplet,offeralibationtothegodofStupidityandtakecaretofightvigorously。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Whowillbemyally?fortherichfearthePaphlagonianandthepoorshudderatthesightofhim。

  DEMOSTHENES

  YouwillhaveathousandbraveKnights,whodetesthim,onyourside;alsothehonestcitizensamongstthespectators,thosewhoaremenofbravehearts,andfinallymyselfandthegod。Fearnot,youwillnotseehisfeatures,fornonehavedaredtomakeamaskresemblinghim。Butthepublichavewitenoughtorecognizehim。

  NICIAS(fromwithin)

  Oh!mercy!herecomesthePaphlagonian!

  (CLEONrushesoutofthehouse。)

  CLEON

  Bythetwelvegods!Woebetideyou,whohavetoolongbeenconspiringagainstDemos。WhatmeansthisChalcidiancup?NodoubtyouareprovokingtheChalcidianstorevolt。Youshallbekilledandbutchered,youbraceofrogues。

  DEMOSTHENES(totheSAUSAGE—SELLER)

  What!areyouforrunningaway?Come,come,standfirm,boldSausage—seller,donotbetrayus。Totherescue,oh,Knights。Nowisthetime。Simon,Panaetius,getyoutotherightwing;theyarecomingon;holdtightandreturntothecharge。Icanseethedustoftheirhorses’hoofs;theyaregallopingtoouraid。(TotheSAUSAGE—SELLER)Courage!Attackhim,puthimtoflight。

  (TheCHORUSOFKNIGHTSentersattopspeed。)

  LEADEROFTHECHORUS

  Strike,strikethevillain,whohasspreadconfusionamongsttheranksoftheKnights,thispublicrobber,thisyawninggulfofplunder,thisdevouringCharybdis,thisvillain,thisvillain,thisvillain!Icannotsaythewordtoooften,forheisavillainathousandtimesaday。Come,strike,drive,hurlhimoverandcrushhimtopieces;hatehimaswehatehim:stunhimwithyourblowsandyourshouts。Andbewarelestheescapeyou;heknowsthewayEucratestookstraighttoabransackforconcealment。

  CLEON

  Oh!veteranHeliasts,brotherhoodofthethreeobols,whomI

  fosteredbybawlingatrandom,helpme;Iambeingbeatentodeathbyrebels。

  LEADEROFTHECHORUS

  Andjustlytoo;youdevourthepublicfundsthatallshouldsharein;youtreatthetreasuryofficialslikethefruitofthefigtree,squeezingthemtofindwhicharestillgreenormoreorlessripe;and,whenyoufindasimpleandtimidone,youforcehimtocomefromtheChersonese,thenyouseizehimbythemiddle,throttlehimbytheneck,whileyoutwisthisshoulderback;hefallsandyoudevourhim。Besides,youknowverywellhowtoselectfromamongthecitizensthosewhoareasmeekaslambs,rich,withoutguileandloathersoflawsuits。

  CLEON

  Eh!what!Knights,areyouhelpingthem?But,ifIambeaten,itisinyourcause,forIwasgoingtoproposetoerectastatueinthecityinmemoryofyourbravery。

  LEADEROFTHECHORUS

  Oh!theimpostor!thedullvarlet!See!hetreatsuslikeolddotardsandcrawlsatourfeettodeceiveus;butthecunningwhereinhispowerliesshallthistimerecoilonhimself;hetripsuphimselfbyresortingtosuchartifices。

  CLEON

  Ohcitizens!ohpeople!seehowthesebrutesareburstingmybelly。

  LEADEROFTHECHORUS

  Whatshouts!butit’sthisverybawlingthatincessantlyupsetsthecity!

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Icanshouttoo—andsoloudthatyouwillfleewithfear。

  LEADEROFTHECHORUS

  IfyoushoutlouderthanhedoesIwillstrikeupthetriumphalhymn;ifyousurpasshiminimpudencethecakeisours。

  CLEON

  Idenouncethisfellow;hehashadtastystewsexportedfromAthensfortheSpartanfleet。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndIdenouncehim;herunsintothePrytaneumwithanemptybellyandcomesoutwithitfull。

  DEMOSTHENES

  AndbyZeus!hecarriesoffbread,meat,andfish,whichisforbidden。Pericleshimselfneverhadthisright。

  (Ascreamingmatchnowensues,eachlinemoreraucousthanthelast。Therapidityofthedialoguelikewiseincreases。)

  CLEON

  Youaretravellingtherightroadtogetkilled。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  I’llbawlthreetimesasloudasyou。

  CLEON

  Iwilldeafenyouwithmyyells。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndIyouwithmybellowing。

  CLEON

  Ishallcalumniateyou,ifyoubecomeaStrategus。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Dog,Iwilllayyourbackopenwiththelash。

  CLEON

  Iwillmakeyoudropyourarrogance,SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Iwillbaffleyourmachinations。

  CLEON

  Daretolookmeintheface!

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Itoowasbroughtupinthemarket—place。

  CLEON

  Iwillcutyoutoshredsifyouwhisperaword。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Ifyouopenyourmouth,I’llshutitwithshit。

  CLEON

  IadmitI’mathief;that’smorethanyoudo。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  ByourHermesofthemarket—place,ifcaughtintheact,why,I

  perjuremyselfbeforethosewhosawme。

  CLEON

  Thesearemyownspecialtricks。IwilldenounceyoutothePrytanesastheownerofsacredtripe,thathasnotpaidtithe。

  CHORUS(singing)

  Oh!youscoundrel!youimpudentbawler!everythingisfilledwithyourdaring,allAttica,theAssembly,theTreasury,thedecrees,thetribunals。Asafurioustorrentyouhaveoverthrownourcity;youroutcrieshavedeafenedAthensand,posteduponahighrock,youhavelaininwaitforthetributemoneysasthefishermandoesforthetunny—fish。

  CLEON(somewhatlessloudly)

  Iknowyourtricks;it’sanoldplotresoled。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Ifyouknownaughtofsoling,Iunderstandnothingofsausages;

  you,whocutbadleatherontheslanttomakeitlookstoutanddeceivethecountryyokels。Theyhadnotwornitadaybeforeithadstretchedsometwospans。

  DEMOSTHENES

  That’stheverytrickheplayedonme;bothmyneighboursandmyfriendslaughedheartilyatme,andbeforeIreachedPergasaeIwasswimminginmyshoes。

  CHORUS(singing)

  Haveyounotalwaysshownthatblatantimpudence,whichisthesolestrengthofourorators?Youpushitsofar,thatyou,theheadoftheState,daretomilkthepursesoftheopulentaliensand,atsightofyou,thesonofHippodamusmeltsintotears。Buthereisanothermanwhogivesmepleasure,forheisamuchgreaterrascalthanyou;hewilloverthrowyou;’tiseasytosee,thathewillbeatyouinroguery,inbrazennessandincleverturns。Come,you,whohavebeenbroughtupamongtheclasswhichto—daygivesusallourgreatmen,showusthataliberaleducationismeretomfoolery。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Justhearwhatsortoffellowthatfinecitizenis。

  CLEON

  Willyounotletmespeak?

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Assuredlynot,forItooamanawfulrascal。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Ifhedoesnotgiveinatthat,tellhimyourparentswereawfulrascalstoo。

  CLEON

  Oncemore,willyouletmespeak?

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  No,byZeus!

  CLEON

  Yes,byZeus,youshall!

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  No,byPosidon!Wewillfightfirsttoseewhoshallspeakfirst。

  CLEON

  Iwilldiesooner。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Iwillnotletyou……

  DEMOSTHENES

  Lethim,inthenameofthegods,lethimdie。

  CLEON

  Whatmakesyousoboldastodaretospeaktomyface?

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  BecauseIknowbothhowtospeakandhowtocook。

  CLEON

  Hah!thefinespeaker!Truly,ifsomebusinessmatterfellyourway,youwouldknowthoroughlywellhowtoattackit,tocarveitupalive!ShallItellyouwhathashappenedtoyou?Likesomanyothers,youhavegainedsomepettylawsuitagainstsomealien。Didyoudrinkenoughwatertoinspireyou?Didyoumutteroverthethingsufficientlythroughthenight,spoutitalongthestreet,reciteittoallyoumet?Haveyouboredyourfriendsenoughwithit?Andforthisyoudeemyourselfanorator。Youpoorfool!

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Andwhatdoyoudrinkyourselfthen,tobeableallalonebyyourselftodumbfoundandstupefythecitysowithyourclamour?

  CLEON

  Canyoumatchmewitharival?Me?WhenIhavedevouredagoodhottunny—fishanddrunkontopofitagreatjarofunmixedwine。Isay\"toHellwiththegeneralsofPylos!\"

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndI,whenIhaveboltedthetripeofanoxtogetherwithasow’sbellyandswallowedthebrothaswell,Iamfit,thoughslobberingwithgrease,tobellowlouderthanalloratorsandtoterrifyNicias。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Iadmireyourlanguagesomuch;theonlythingIdonotapproveisthatyouswallowallthebrothyourself。

  CLEON

  Eventhoughyougorgedyourselfonsea—dogs,youwouldnotbeattheMilesians。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Givemeabullock’sbreasttodevour,andIamamantotrafficinmines。

  CLEON

  IwillrushintotheSenateandsetthemallbytheears。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndIwillpulloutyourarsetostufflikeasausage。

  CLEON

  Asforme,Iwillseizeyoubytherumpandhurlyouheadforemostthroughthedoor。

  DEMOSTHENES

  ByPosidon,onlyafteryouhavethrownmetherefirst。

  CLEON

  (Beginninganothercrescendoofcompetitivescreeching)

  Bewareofthecarcan!

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Idenounceyouforcowardice。

  CLEON

  Iwilltanyourhide。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Iwillflayyouandmakeathief’spouchwiththeskin。

  CLEON

  Iwillpegyououtontheground。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Iwillsliceyouintomince—meat。

  CLEON

  Iwilltearoutyoureyelashes。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Iwillslityourgullet。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Wewillsethismouthopenwithawoodenstickasthecooksdowithpigs;wewilltearouthistongue,and,lookingdownhisgapingthroat,willseewhetherhisinsidehasanypimples。

  CHORUS(singing)

  ThusthenatAthenswehavesomethingmorefierythanfire,moreimpudentthanimpudenceitself!’Tisagravematter;come,wewillpushandjostlehimwithoutmercy。There,yougriphimtightlyunderthearms;ifhegiveswayattheonset,youwillfindhimnothingbutacraven;Iknowmyman。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Thathehasbeenallhislifeandhehasonlymadehimselfanamebyreapinganother’sharvest;andnowhehastieduptheearshegatheredoverthere,heletsthemdryandseekstosellthem。

  CLEON

  IdonotfearyouaslongasthereisaSenateandapeoplewhichstandslikeafool,gapingintheair。

  CHORUS(singing)

  Whatunparalleledimpudence!’Tiseverthesamebrazenfront。IfI

  don’thateyou,why,I’mreadytotaketheplaceoftheoneblanketCratinuswets;I’lloffertoplayatragedybyMorsimus。Oh!youcheat!whoturnallintomoney,whoflutterfromoneextortiontoanother;mayyoudisgorgeasquicklyasyouhavecrammedyourself!

  ThenonlywouldIsing,\"Letusdrink,letusdrinktothishappyevent!\"TheneventhesonofUlius,theoldwheat—fairy,wouldemptyhiscupwithtransportsofjoy,crying,\"Io,Paean!Io,Bacchus!\"

  CLEON

  ByPosidon!You!wouldyoubeatmeinimpudence!Ifyousucceed,mayInolongerhavemyshareofthevictimsofferedtoZeusonthecityaltar。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndI,Iswearbytheblowsthathavesooftraineduponmyshoulderssinceinfancy,andbytheknivesthathavecutme,thatI

  willshowmoreeffronterythanyou;assureasIhaveroundedthisfinestomachbyfeedingonthepiecesofbreadthathadcleansedotherfolk’sgreasyfingers。

  CLEON

  Onpiecesofbread,likeadog!Ah!wretch!youhavethenatureofadogandyoudaretofightadog—headedape?

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Ihavemanyanothertrickinmysack,memoriesofmychildhood’sdays。Iusedtolingeraroundthecooksandsaytothem,\"Look,friends,don’tyouseeaswallow?It’stheheraldofspringtime。\"

  Andwhiletheystood,theirnosesintheair,Imadeoffwithapieceofmeat。

  CHORUS

  Oh!mostcleverman!Howwellthoughtout!Youdidastheeatersofartichokes,yougatheredthembeforethereturnoftheswallows。\"

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Theycouldmakenothingofit;or,iftheysuspectedatrick,I

  hidthemeatinmycrotchanddeniedthethingbyallthegods—sothatanorator,seeingmeatthegame,cried,\"Thischildwillgeton;hehasthemettlethatmakesastatesman。\"

  LEADEROFTHECHORUS

  Hearguedrightly;tosteal,perjureyourselfandmakeyourarsereceptivearethreeessentialsforclimbinghigh。

  CLEON

  Iwillstopyourinsolence,orrathertheinsolenceofbothofyou。Iwillthrowmyselfuponyoulikeaterriblehurricaneravagingbothlandandseaatthewillofitsfury。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  ThenIwillgatherupmysausagesandentrustmyselftothekindlywavesoffortunesoastomakeyouallthemoreenraged。

  DEMOSTHENES

  AndIwillwatchinthebilgesincasetheboatshouldmakewater。

  CLEON

  No,byDemeter!Iswear,itwillnotbewithimpunitythatyouhavethievedsomanytalentsfromtheAthenians。

  DEMOSTHENES(totheSAUSAGE—SELLER)

  Oh!oh!reefyoursailabit!HereisaNortheasterblowingcalumniously。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  IknowthatyougottentalentsoutofPotidaea。

  CLEON

  Wait!Iwillgiveyouone;butkeepitdark!

  DEMOSTHENES(aside)

  Hah!thatwillpleasehimmightily;(totheSAUSAGE—SELLER)nowyoucantravelunderfullsail。Thewindhaslostitsviolence。

  CLEON

  Iwillbringfoursuitsagainstyou,eachofonehundredtalents。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndItwentyagainstyouforshirkingdutyandmorethanathousandforrobbery。

  CLEON

  Imaintainthatyourparentswereguiltyofsacrilegeagainstthegoddess。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndI,thatoneofyourgrandfatherswasasatellite……

  CLEON

  Towhom?Explain!

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  ToByrsina,themotherofHippias。

  CLEON

  Youareanimpostor。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Andyouarearogue。

  (HestrikesCLEONwithasausage。)

  DEMOSTHENES

  Hithimhard。

  CLEON

  Alas!Theconspiratorsaremurderingme!

  DEMOSTHENES(totheSAUSAGE—SELLER)

  Hithim!Hithimwithallyourmight!Bruisehisbellyandlashhimwithyourgutsandyourtripe!Punishhimwithbothhands!

  (CLEONsinksbeneaththeblows。)

  CHORUS—LEADER

  Oh!vigorousassailantandintrepidheart!Seehowyouhavetotallyroutedhiminthisduelofabuse,sothattousandtothecitizensyouseemthesaviourofthecity。HowshallIgivetonguetomyjoyandpraiseyousufficiently?

  CLEON(recoveringhiswits)

  Ah!byDemeter!Iwasnotignorantofthisplotandthesemachinationsthatwerebeingforgedandnailedandputtogetheragainstme。

  DEMOSTHENES(totheSAUSAGE—SELLER)

  Lookout,lookout!Comeoutfencehimwithsomewheelwrightslang。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  HistricksatArgosdonotescapeme。UnderpretenceofforminganalliancewiththeArgives,heishatchingaplotwiththeLacedaemoniansthere;andIknowwhythebellowsareblowingandthemetalthatisontheanvil;it’sthequestionoftheprisoners。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Welldone!Forgeon,ifhebeawheelwright。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndtherearemenatSpartawhoarehammeringtheironwithyou;

  butneithergoldnorsilvernorprayersnoranythingelseshallimpedemydenouncingyourtrickerytotheAthenians。

  CLEON

  Asforme,IhastentotheSenatetorevealyourplotting,yournightlygatheringsinthecity,yourtraffickingwiththeMedesandwiththeGreatKing,andallyouareforagingforinBoeotia。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  WhatpricethenispaidforforagebyBoeotians?

  CLEON

  Oh!byHeracles!Iwilltanyourhide。

  (Hedeparts。)

  DEMOSTHENES

  Come,ifyouhavebothwitandheart,nowisthetimetoshowit,asonthedaywhenyouhidthemeatinyourcrotch,asyousay。

  HastentotheSenate,forhewillrushtherelikeatornadotocalumniateusallandgiveventtohisfearfulbellowings。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Iamgoing,butfirstImustridmyselfofmytripeandmyknives;

  Iwillleavethemhere。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Stay!rubyourneckwithlard;inthiswayyouwillslipbetweenthefingersofcalumny。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Spokenlikeafinishedwrestlingcoach。

  DEMOSTHENES

  Now,boltdowntheseclovesofgarlic。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Pray,whatfor?

  DEMOSTHENES

  Wellprimedwithgarlic,youwillhavegreatermettleforthefight。Buthurry,makehasterapidly!

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  That’sjustwhatI’mdoing。

  (Hedeparts。)

  DEMOSTHENES

  And,aboveall,biteyourfoe,rendhimtoatoms,tearoffhiscombanddonotreturnuntilyouhavedevouredhiswattles。

  (HegoesintothehouseofDEMOS。)

  LEADEROFTHECHORUS

  Go!makeyourattackwithalightheart,avengemeandmayZeusguardyou!Iburntoseeyoureturnthevictorandladenwithchapletsofglory。Andyou,spectators,enlightenedcriticsofallkindofpoetry,lendaneartomyanapests。(TheChorusmovesforwardandfacestheaudience。)

  Hadoneoftheoldauthorsaskedmetomountthisstagetorecitehisverses,hewouldnothavefoundithardtopersuademe。Butourpoetofto—dayislikewiseworthyofthisfavour;hesharesourhatred,hedarestotellthetruth,heboldlybravesbothwaterspoutsandhurricanes。Manyamongyou,hetellsus,haveexpressedwonder,thathehasnotlongsincehadapiecepresentedinhisownname,andhaveaskedthereasonwhy。Thisiswhathebidsussayinreplytoyourquestions;itisnotwithoutgroundsthathehascourtedtheshade,for,inhisopinion,nothingismoredifficultthantocultivatethecomicMuse;manycourther,butveryfewsecureherfavours。Moreover,heknowsthatyouareficklebynatureandbetrayyourpoetswhentheygrowold。WhatfatebefellMagnes,whenhishairwentwhite?Oftenenoughhadhetriumphedoverhisrivals;hehadsunginallkeys,playedthelyreandflutteredwings;heturnedintoaLydianandevenintoagnat,daubedhimselfwithgreentobecomeafrog。Allinvain!Whenyoung,youapplaudedhim;inhisoldageyouhootedandmockedhim,becausehisgeniusforrailleryhadgone。Cratinusagainwaslikeatorrentofgloryrushingacrosstheplain,up—rootingoak,planetreeandrivalsandbearingthempell—mellinhiswake。Theonlysongsatthebanquetwere,\"Doro,shodwithlyingtales\"and\"AdeptsoftheLyricMuse,\"sogreatwashisrenown。Lookathimnow!hedrivels,hislyrehasneitherstringsnorkeys,hisvoicequivers,butyouhavenopityforhim,andyoulethimwanderaboutashecan,likeConnas,histemplescircledwithawitheredchaplet;thepooroldfellowisdyingofthirst;hewho,inhonourofhisgloriouspast,shouldbeinthePrytaneumdrinkingathisease,andinsteadoftrudgingthecountryshouldbesittingamongstthefirstrowofthespectators,closetothestatueofDionysusandloadedwithperfumes。Crates,again,haveyoudonehoundinghimwithyourrageandyourhisses?

  True,itwasbutmeagrefarethathissterileMusecouldofferyou;

  afewingeniousfanciesformedthesoleingredients,butneverthelessheknewhowtostandfirmandtorecoverfromhisfalls。Itissuchexamplesthatfrightenourpoet;inaddition,hewouldtellhimself,thatbeforebeingapilot,hemustfirstknowhowtorow,thentokeepwatchattheprow,afterthathowtogaugethewinds,andthatonlythenwouldhebeabletocommandhisvessel。Ifthenyouapprovethiswisecautionandhisresolvethathewouldnotboreyouwithfoolishnonsense,raiseloudwavesofapplauseinhisfavourthisday,sothat,atthisLenaeanfeast,thebreathofyourfavourmayswellthesailsofhistriumphantgalleyandthepoetmaywithdrawproudofhissuccess,withheaderectandhisfacebeamingwithdelight。

  FIRSTSEMI—CHORUS(singing)

  Posidon,godoftheracingsteeds,Isaluteyou,youwhodelightintheirneighingandintheresoundingclatteroftheirbrass—shodhoofs,godoftheswiftgalleys,which,loadedwithmercenaries,cleavetheseaswiththeirazurebeaks,godoftheequestriancontests,inwhichyoungrivals,eagerforglory,ruinthemselvesforthesakeofdistinctionwiththeirchariotsinthearena,comeanddirectourchorus;Posidonwiththetridentofgold,you,whoreignoverthedolphins,whoareworshippedatSuniumandatGeraestusbelovedofPhormio,anddeartothewholecityabovealltheimmortals,Isaluteyou!

  LEADEROFFIRSTSEMI—CHORUS

  Letussingthegloryofourforefathers;evervictors,bothonlandandsea,theymeritthatAthens,renderedfamousbythese,herworthysons,shouldwritetheirdeedsuponthesacredpeplus。Assoonastheysawtheenemy,theyatoncesprangathimwithoutevercountinghisstrength。Shouldoneofthemfallintheconflicthewouldshakeoffthedust,denyhismishapandbeginthestruggleanew。

  NotoneofthesegeneralsofoldtimewouldhaveaskedCleaenetustobefedatthecostoftheState;butourpresentmenrefusetofight,unlesstheygetthehonoursofthePrytaneumandprecedenceintheirseats。Asforus,weplaceourvalourgratuitouslyattheserviceofAthensandofhergods;ouronlyhopeisthat,shouldpeaceeverputatermteourtoils,youwillnotgrudgeusourlong,scentedhairnorourdelicatecareforourtoilet。

  SECONDSEMI—CHORUS(singing)

  Oh!Pallas,guardianofAthens,you,whoreignoverthemostpiouscity,themostpowerful,therichestinwarriorsandinpoets,hastentomycall,bringinginyourtrainourfaithfulallyinallourexpeditionsandcombats,Victory,whosmilesonourchorusesandfightswithusagainstourrivals。Oh!goddess!manifestyourselftooursight;thisdaymorethaneverwedeservethatyoushouldensureourtriumph。

  LEADEROFSECONDSEMI—CHORUS

  Wewillsinglikewisetheexploitsofoursteeds!theyareworthyofourpraises;inwhatinvasions,whatfightshaveInotseenthemhelpingus!Butespeciallyadmirablewerethey,whentheybravelyleaptuponthegalleys,takingnothingwiththembutacoarsewine,someclovesofgarlicandonions;despitethis,theyneverthelessseizedthesweepsjustlikemen,curvedtheirbacksoverthethwartsandshouted,\"Hippapai!Giveway!Come,allpulltogether!Come,come!How!Samphoras!Areyounotrowing?\"TheyrusheddownuponthecoastofCorinth,andtheyoungesthollowedoutbedsinthesandwiththeirhoofsorwenttofetchcoverings;insteadofluzern,theyhadnofoodbutcrabs,whichtheycaughtonthestrandandeveninthesea;sothatTheoruscausesaCorinthiancrabtosay,\"’Tisacruelfate,ohPosidonneithermydeephiding—places,whetheronlandoratsea,canhelpmetoescapetheKnights。\"

  (TheSAUSAGE—SELLERreturns。)

  LEADEROFTHECHORUS

  Welcome,oh,dearestandbravestofmen!HowdistractedIhavebeenduringyourabsence!Buthereyouareback,safeandsound。

  Tellusaboutthefightyouhavehad。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  TheimportantthingisthatIhavebeatentheSenate。

  CHORUS(singing)

  Allglorytoyou!Letusburstintoshoutsofjoy!Youspeakwell,butyourdeedsareevenbetter。Come,tellmeeverythingindetail;

  whatalongjourneywouldInotbereadytotaketohearyourtale!

  Come,dearfriend,speakwithfullconfidencetoyouradmirers。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Thestoryisworthhearing。Listen!FromhereIrushedstraighttotheSenate,rightinthetrackofthisman;hewasalreadylettingloosethestorm,unchainingthelightning,crushingtheKnightsbeneathhugemountainsofcalumniesheapedtogetherandhavingalltheairoftruth;hecalledyouconspiratorsandhisliescaughtrootlikeweedsineverymind;darkwerethelooksoneverysideandbrowswereknitted。WhenIsawthattheSenatelistenedtohimfavourablyandwasbeingtrickedbyhisimpostureIsaidtomyself,\"Come,godsofrascalsandbraggarts,godsofallfools,andtoad—eaters,andthoutoo,ohmarket—place,whereinIwasbredfrommyearliestdays,givemeunbridledaudacity,anuntiringchatterandashamelessvoice。\"

  NosoonerhadIendedthisprayerthanapederastfartedonmyright。\"Hah!agoodomen,\"saidI,andprostratedmyself;thenIburstopenthedoorbyavigorouspushwithmyarse,and,openingmymouthtotheutmost,shouted,\"Senators,Iwantedyoutobethefirsttohearthegoodnews;sincethewarbrokeout,Ihaveneverseenanchoviesatalowerprice!\"AllfacesbrightenedatonceandIwasvotedachapletformygoodtidings;andIadded,\"WithacoupleofwordsIwillrevealtoyouhowyoucanhavequantitiesofanchoviesforanobol;allyouhavetodoistoseizeonallthedishesthemerchantshave。\"Withmouthsgapingwithadmiration,theyapplaudedme。However,thePaphlagonianwindedthematterand,wellknowingthesortoflanguagewhichpleasestheSenatebest,said,\"Friends,Iamresolvedtoofferonehundredoxentothegoddessinrecognitionofthishappyevent。\"TheSenateatonceveeredtohisside。SowhenIsawmyselfdefeatedbythisoxdung,Ioutbadethefellow,crying,\"Twohundred!\"AndbeyondthisImovedthatavowbemadetoDianaofathousandgoatsifthenextdayanchoviesshouldonlybeworthanobolahundred。AndtheSenatelookedtowardsmeagain。Theother,stunnedwiththeblow,grewdeliriousinhisspeech,andatlastthePrytanesandtheScythiansdraggedhimout。TheSenatorsthenstoodtalkingnoisilyabouttheanchovies。Cleon,however,beggedthemtolistentotheLacedaemonianenvoy,whohadcometomakeproposalsofpeace;butallwithoneaccordcried\"Certainlyit’snotthemomenttothinkofpeacenow!Ifanchoviesaresocheap,whatneedhaveweofpeace?Letthewartakeitscourse!\"

  AndwithloudshoutstheydemandedthatthePrytanesshouldclosethesittingandthentheyleaptovertherailsinalldirections。Asforme,Islippedawaytobuyallthecorianderseedandleekstherewereonthemarketandgaveittothemgratisasseasoningfortheiranchovies。Itwasmarvellous!Theyloadedmewithpraisesandcaresses;thusIconqueredtheSenatewithanobol’sworthofleeks,andhereIam。

  CHORUS(singing)

  Bravo!youarethespoiltchildofFortune。Ah!ourknavehasfoundhismatchinanother,whohasfarbettertricksinhissack,athousandkindsofknaveriesandofwilywords。Butthefightbeginsafresh;takecarenottoweaken;youknowthatIhavelongbeenyourmostfaithfulally。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Ah!ah!herecomesthePaphlagonian!Onewouldsayitwasahurricanelashingtheseaandrollingthewavesbeforeitinitsfury。

  Helooksasifhewantedtoswallowmeupalive!Yegods!whatanimpudentknave!

  CLEON(asherushesin)

  Tomyaid,mybelovedlies!Iamgoingtodestroyyou,ormynameislost。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Oh!howhedivertsmewithhisthreatsHisblustermakesmelaugh!

  AndIdancethemothonforjoy,andsingatthetopofmyvoice,cuckoo!

  CLEON

  Ah!byDemeter!ifIdonotkillanddevouryou,mayIdie!

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Ifyoudonotdevourme?andI,ifIdonotdrinkyourbloodtothelastdrop,andthenburstwithindigestion。

  CLEON

  I,Iwillstrangleyou,IswearitbythefrontseatwhichPylosgainedme。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Bythefrontseat!Ah!Ah!mightIseeyoufallintothehindmostseat!

  CLEON

  Byheaven!Iwillputyoutothetorture。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Whatalivelywit!Come,what’sthebesttogiveyoutoeat?

  Whatdoyouprefer?Apurse?

  CLEON

  Iwilltearoutyourinsideswithmynails。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndIwillcutoffyourvictualsatthePrytaneum。

  CLEON

  IwillhaulyoubeforeDemos,whowillmeteoutjusticetoyou。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndItoowilldragyoubeforehimandbelchforthmorecalumniesthanyou。Why,poorfool,hedoesnotbelieveyou,whereasI

  playwithhimatwill。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  IsthenDemosyourproperty,yourcontemptiblecreature?

  CLEON

  It’sbecauseIknowthedishesthatpleasehim。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Andthesearelittlemouthfuls,whichyouservetohimlikeaclevernurse。Youchewthepiecesandplacesomeinsmallquantitiesinhismouth,whileyouswallowthreepartsyourself。

  CLEON

  Thankstomyskill,Iknowexactlyhowtoenlargeorcontractthisgullet。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Myarseisjustasclever。

  CLEON

  Well,myfriend,youtrickedmeattheSenate,buttakecare!

  LetusgobeforeDemos。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  That’seasilydone;come,let’sdoitrightaway。

  CLEON(loudly)

  Oh,Demos!Come,Iadjureyoutohelpme,myfatherI

  SAUSAGE—SELLER(moreloudly)

  Come,oh,mydearlittleDemos;comeandseehowIaminsulted。

  DEMOS(comingoutofhishousefollowedbyDEMOSTHENES)

  Whatahubhub!TotheDevilwithyou,bawlers!Alas!myolivebranch,whichtheyhavetorndown!Ah!it’syou,Paphlagonian。Andwho,pray,hasbeenmaltreatingyou?

  CLEON

  Youarethecauseofthismanandtheseyoungpeoplehavingcoveredmewithblows。

  DEMOS

  Andwhy?

  CLEON

  Becauseyoulovemepassionately,Demos。

  DEMOS(totheSAUSAGE—SELLER)

  Andyou,whoareyou?

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Hisrival。FormanyalongyearhaveIlovedyou,haveIwishedtodoyouhonour,Iandacrowdofothermenofmeans。Butthisrascalherehaspreventedus。Youresemblethoseyoungmenwhodonotknowwheretochoosetheirlovers;yourepulsehonestfolks;toearnyourfavours,onehastobealamp—seller,acobbler,atanneroracurrier。

  CLEON

  Iamthebenefactorofthepeople。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Inwhatway,please?

  CLEON

  Inwhatway?IsupplantedtheGeneralsatPylos,IhurriedthitherandIbroughtbacktheLaconiancaptives。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndI,whilstsimplyloitering,clearedoffwithapotfromashop,whichanotherfellowhadbeenboiling。

  CLEON

  Demos,convenetheassemblyatoncetodecidewhichofustwolovesyoubestandmostmeritsyourfavour。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Yes,yes,provideditbenotatthePnyx。

  DEMOS

  Icouldnotsitelsewhere;itisatthePnyxthatyoumustappearbeforeme。

  (HesitsdownonastoneintheOrchestra,)

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  Ah!greatgods!Iamundone!Athomethisoldfellowisthemostsensibleofmen,buttheinstantheisseatedonthosecursedstoneseats,heistherewithmouthagapeasifhewerehangingupfigsbytheirstemstodry。

  FIRSTSEMI—CHORUS(singing)

  Come,looseallsail。Bebold,skilfulinattackandentanglehiminargumentswhichadmitofnoreply。Itisdifficulttobeathim,forheisfullofcraftandpullshimselfoutoftheworstcorners。

  Collectallyourforcestocomeforthfromthisfightcoveredwithglory。

  LEADEROFTHECHORUS

  Buttakecare!Lethimnotassumetheattack,getreadyyourgrapplesandadvancewithyourvesseltoboardhim!

  CLEON

  Oh!guardiangoddessofourcity!oh!AtheneifitbetruethatnexttoLysicles,CynnaandSalabacchononehavedonesomuchgoodfortheAthenianpeopleasI,suffermetocontinuetobefedatthePrytaneumwithoutworking;butifIhateyou,ifIamnotreadytofightinyourdefencealoneandagainstall,mayIperish,besawntobitsaliveandmyskincutupintothongs。

  SAUSAGE—SELLER

  AndI,Demos,ifitbenottrue,thatIloveandcherishyou,mayIbecookedinastew;andifthatisnotsayingenough,mayI

  begratedonthistablewithsomecheeseandthenhashed,mayahookbepassedthroughmyballsandletmebedraggedthustotheCeramicus!

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