Hedidnotcaresomuchforpopularityasforthepraiseofhisfriends。
Ifhelikedyouhewishedyounotonlytolikewhathewrote,buttosayso。Hewashimselfmostcordialinhisrecognitionofthethingsthatpleasedhim。Whathappenedtomefromhim,happenedtoothers,andIamonlydescribinghiscommonhabitwhenIsaythatnothingIdidtohislikingfailedtobringmeaspokenoroftenerawrittenacknowledgment。
Thiscontinuedtothelatestyearsofhislifewhentheefforteventogivesuchpleasuremusthavecosthimaphysicalpang。
Hewasofaverycatholictaste;andhewasapttobecarriedawaybyalittletouchoflifeorhumor,andtoovervaluethepieceinwhichhefoundit;but,mainlyhisjudgmentsoflettersandmenwerejust。
OneofthedangersofscholarshipwasapeculiardangerintheCambridgekeeping,butLowellwasalmostasaverseasLongfellowfromcontempt。
Hecouldsnub,andpitilessly,wherehethoughttherewaspresumptionandapparentlysometimesmerelybecausehewasinthemood;butIcannotrememberevertohaveheardhimsneer。Hewasoftenwonderfullypatientoftiresomepeople,andsometimescelestiallyinsensibletovulgarity。
Inspiteofhisreserve,hereallywishedpeopletolikehim;hewaskeenlyalivetoneighborlygood—willorill—will;andwhentherewasaquestionofwideningElmwoodavenuebytakingpartofhisgrounds,hewaskeenlyhurtbyhearingthatsomeonewholivednearhimhadsaidhehopedthecitywouldcutdownLowell’selms:hisEnglishelms,whichhisfatherhadplanted,andwithwhichhewashimselfalmostoneblood!
VIII。
IntheperiodofwhichIamspeaking,Lowellwasconstantlywritingandprettyconstantlyprinting,thoughstillthesuperstitionheldthathewasanidleman。Tothistimebelongsthepublicationofsomeofhisfinestpoems,ifnottheirinception:therewerecasesinwhichtheirinceptiondatedfarback,eventotenortwentyyears。Hewrotehispoemsataheat,andthemanuscriptwhichcametomeforthemagazinewasusuallythefirstdraft,verylittlecorrected。Butifthecoldfittookhimquicklyitmightholdhimsofastthathewouldleavethepoeminabeyancetillhecouldslowlylivebacktoalikingforit。
Themostofhisbestprosebelongstothetimebetween1866and1874,andtothistimeweowetheseveralvolumesofessaysandcriticismscalled’AmongMyBooks’and’MyStudyWindows’。Hewishedtonamethesemoresoberly,butattheurgenceofhispublishershegavethemtitleswhichtheythoughtwouldbeattractivetothepublic,thoughhefeltthattheytookfromthedignityofhiswork。Hewasnotagoodbusinessmaninaliteraryway,hesubmittedtoothers’judgmentinallsuchmatters。
Idoubtifheeverputapriceuponanythinghesold,andIdaresayhewasusuallysurprisedatthelargenessofthepricepaidhim;butsometimesifhisneedwasforalargersum,hethoughtittoolittle,withoutreferencetoformerpayments。ThishappenedwithalongpoemintheAtlantic,whichIhadurgedthecounting—roomauthoritiestodealhandsomelywithhimfor。Ididnotknowhowmanyhundredtheygavehim,andwhenImethimIventuredtoexpressthehopethatthepublishershaddonetheirpart。Heheldupfourfingers,\"Quattro,\"hesaidinItalian,andthenaddedwithadisappointmentwhichhetriedtosmileaway,\"Ithoughttheymighthavemadeitcinque。\"
BetweenmeandmeIthoughtquattroverywell,butprobablyLowellhadinmindsomeendwhichcinquewouldhavefittedbetter。Itwasprettysuretobeanunselfishend,apleasuretosomeonedeartohim,agiftthathehadwishedtomake。LongafterwardswhenIhadbeenthemeansofgettinghimcinqueforapoemone—tenththelength,hespokeofthepaymenttome。\"Itcameveryhandily;Ihadbeenwantingtogiveawatch。\"
IdonotbelieveatanytimeLowellwasabletodealwithmoney\"Likewealthymen,notknowingwhattheygive。\"
moreprobablyhefeltasacrednessinthemoneygotbyliterature,whichtheliterarymanneverquiteridshimselfof,evenwhenheisnotapoet,andwhichmadehimwishtodedicateittosomethingfinerthantheeverydayuses。Helivedveryquietly,buthehadbynomeansmorethanheneededtoliveupon,andatthattimehehadpecuniarylosses。Hewaswritinghard,andwasdoingfullworkinhisHarvardprofessorship,andhewassofardependentuponhissalary,thathefeltitsabsencefortheyearhewentabroad。Idonotknowquitehowtoexpressmysenseofsomethingunworldly,ofsomethingalmostwomanlikeinhisrelationtomoney。
Hewasnotonlygenerousofmoney,buthewasgenerousofhimself,whenhethoughthecouldbeofuse,ormerelyofencouragement。HecameallthewayintoBostontohearcertainlecturesofmineontheItalianpoets,whichhecouldnothavefoundeitheredifyingoramusing,thathemighttestifyhisinterestinme,andshowotherpeoplethattheywereworthcomingto。Hewouldgocarefullyoverapoemwithme,wordbyword,andcriticiseeveryturnofphrase,andafterallbemagnanimouslytolerantofmystickingtophrasingsthathedisliked。Inacertainline\"Thesilvernchordsofthepianotrembled,\"
heobjectedtosilvern。Whynotsilver?Iallegedleathern,golden,andlikeadjectivesindefenceofmyword;butstillhefoundanaffectationinit,andsufferedittostandwithextremereluctance。Anotherlineofanotherpiece:
\"Andwhatshewould,wouldratherthatshewouldnot\"
hewouldbynomeanssuffer。Hesaidthatthestressfallingonthelastwordmadeit\"public—schoolEnglish,\"andhemockeditwiththeansweramaidhadlatelygivenhimwhenheaskedifthemasterofthehousewasathome。Shesaid,\"No,sir,heisnot,\"whensheoughttohavesaid\"No,sir,heisn’t。\"HewasappeasedwhenIcamebackthenextdaywiththestanzaamendedsothattheversecouldread:
\"Andwhatshewould,wouldrathershewouldnotso\"
butIfancyheneverquiteforgavemywordsilvern。Yet,heprofessednottohaveprejudicesinsuchmatters,buttouseanywordthatwouldservehisturn,withoutwincing;andhecertainlydiduseanddefendwords,asundisprivaciedanddisnatured,thatmadeotherswince。
Hewasotherwisesuchasticklerforthebestdictionthathewouldnothavehadmeuseslovenlyvernaculareveninthedialogueinmystories:
mycharactersmustnotsaytheywantedtodosoandso,butwished,andthelike。InacopyofoneofmybookswhichIfoundhimreading,IsawhehadcorrectedmyerringWesternwouldsandshoulds;ashegrewoldhewaslessandlessabletorestrainhimselffromsettingpeoplerighttotheirfaces。Once,inthevastareaofmyignorance,hespecifiedmysmallacquaintancewithacertainperiodofEnglishpoetry,saying,\"You’rerathershady,there,oldfellow。\"Buthewouldnothavehadmetoolearned,holdingthathehadhimselfbeenhurtforliteraturebyhisscholarship。
Hispatienceinanalyzingmyworkwithmemighthavebeentheeasyeffortofhishabitofteaching;andhiswillingnesstogivehimselfandhisownwasnodoubtmoresignallyattestedinhisaskingabrothermanofletterswhowishedtoworkupasubjectinthecollegelibrary,tostayafortnightinhishouse,andtosharehisstudy,hisbelovedstudy,withhim。Thismusttrulyhavecosthimdear,asanyauthoroffixedhabitswillunderstand。Happilythemanofletterswasagoodfellow,andknewhowtoprizethefavor—donehim,butifhehadbeenotherwise,itwouldhavebeenthesametoLowell。Henotonlyendured,butdidmanythingsfortheweakerbrethren,whichwereamusingenoughtooneinthesecretofhisinwardrevolt。Yetinthesethingshewasconsideratealsooftheeditorwhomhemighthavemadethesharerofhisself—sacrifice,andheseldomofferedmemanuscriptsforothers。TheonlyrealburdenofthekindthatheputuponmewasthediaryofaVirginianwhohadtravelledinNewEnglandduringtheearlythirties,andhadsetdownhisimpressionsofmenandmannersthere。Itbegancharmingly,andwentonverywellunderLowell’sdiscreetpruning,butafterawhileheseemedtofallinlovewiththecharacterofthediaristsomuchthathecouldnotbeartocutanything。
IX。
HehadagreattendernessforthebrokenandruinedSouth,whosesinshefeltthathehadhadhisshareinvisitinguponher,andhewaswillingtodowhathecouldtoeasehersorrowsinthecaseofanyparticularSoutherner。HecouldnothelplookingaskanceuponthedramaticshowsofretributionwhichsomeoftheNorthernpoliticianswereworking,butwithallhismisgivingshecontinuedtoactwiththeRepublicanpartyuntilaftertheelectionofHayes;hewasawayfromthecountryduringtheGarfieldcampaign。HewasinfactoneoftheMassachusettselectorschosenbytheRepublicanmajorityin1816,andinthatmostpainfulhourwhentherewasquestionofthepolicyandjusticeofcountingHayesinforthepresidency,itwassuggestedbysomeofLowell’sfriendsthatheshouldusetheoriginalrightoftheelectorsundertheconstitution,andvoteforTilden,whomonevotewouldhavechosenpresidentoverHayes。AfterhehadcasthisvoteforHayes,hequietlyreferredtothematteroneday,inthemomentoflightinghispipe,withperhapsthefaintesttraceofindignationinhistone。Hesaidthatwhateverthefirstintentoftheconstitutionwas,usagehadmadethepresidentialelectorsstrictlytheinstrumentsofthepartywhichchosethem,andthatforhimtohavevotedforTildenwhenhehadbeenchosentovoteforHayeswouldhave—beenanactofbadfaith。
Hewouldhaveresumedformealltheoldkindnessofourrelationsbeforetherecentyearofhisabsence,butthishadinevitablyworkedalittleestrangement。Hehadatleastlostthehabitofme,andthatsaysmuchinsuchmatters。HewasnotsoperfectlyatrestintheCambridgeenvironment;incertainindefinablewaysitdidnotsoentirelysufficehim,thoughhewouldhavebeenthenandalwaysthelasttoallowthis。
Iimaginehisfriendsrealizedmorethanhe,thatcertaindelicatebutvitalfilamentsofattachmenthadfrayedandpartedinalienair,andlefthimheart—looseashehadnotbeenbefore。
IdonotknowwhetheritcrossedhismindaftertheelectionofHayesthathemightbeofferedsomeplaceabroad,butitcertainlycrossedthemindsofsomeofhisfriends,andIcouldnotfeelthatIwasactingformyselfalonewhenIusedafamilyconnectionwiththePresident,veryearlyinhisterm,tolethimknowthatIbelievedLowellwouldacceptadiplomaticmission。IcouldassurehimthatIwaswritingwhollywithoutLowell’sprivityorauthority,andIgotbacksuchaletterasIcouldwishinitsdelicatesenseofthesituation。ThePresidentsaidthathehadalreadythoughtofofferingLowellsomething,andhegavemethepleasure,apleasurebeyondanyotherIcouldimagine,ofaskingLowellwhetherhewouldacceptthemissiontoAustria。IlostnotimecarryinghislettertoElmwood,whereIfoundLowelloverhiscoffeeatdinner。
Hesawmeatthethreshold,andcalledtomethroughtheopendoortocomein,andIhandedhimtheletter,andsatdownattablewhileheranitthrough。Whenhehadreadit,hegaveaquick\"Ah!\"andthrewitoverthelengthofthetabletoMrs。Lowell。Shereaditinasmilingandloyalreticence,asifshewouldnotsayonewordofallshemightwishtosayinurginghisacceptance,thoughIcouldseethatshewasintenselyeagerforit。ThewholesituationwasofaperfectNewEnglandcharacterinitstacitsignificance;afterLowellhadtakenhiscoffeeweturnedintohisstudywithoutfurtherallusiontothematter。
AdayortwolaterhecametomyhousetosaythathecouldnotaccepttheAustrianmission,andtoaskmetotellthePresidentsoforhim,andmakehisacknowledgments,whichhewouldalsowritehimself。Heremainedtalkingalittlewhileofotherthings,andwhenherosetogo,hesaidwithasighofvaguereluctance,\"IshouldliketoseeaplayofCalderon,\"asifithadnothingtodowithanywishofhisthatcouldstillbefulfilled。\"UponthishintIacted,\"andinduetimeitwasfoundinWashington,thatthegentlemanwhohadbeenofferedtheSpanishmissionwouldasliefgotoAustria,andLowellwassenttoMadrid。
X。
WhenwemetinLondon,someyearslater,hecamealmosteveryafternoontomylodging,andthestoryofourold—timeCambridgewalksbeganagaininLondonphrases。Therewerenotthevacantlotsandoutlyingfieldsofhisnativeplace,butwemadeshiftwiththevast,simpleparks,andwewalkedonthegrassaswecouldnothavedoneinanAmericanpark,andweregladtofeeltheearthunderourfeet。Isaidhowmuchitwaslikethoseearliertramps;andthatpleasedhim,forhewished,wheneverathingdelightedhim,tofindaCambridgequalityinit。
ButhewasinlovewitheverythingEnglish,andwasdeterminedIshouldbesotoo,beginningwiththeEnglishweather,whichinsummercannotbeoverpraised。Hecarried,ofcourse,anumbrella,buthewouldnotputitupinthelightshowersthatcaughtusattimes,sayingthattheEnglishrainneverwettedyou。Thethickshortturfdelightedhim;hewouldscarcelyallowthatthetreesweretheworseforfoliageblightedbyavileeasterlystorminthespringofthatyear。Thetenderair,thedelicateveilsthatthemoistureinitcastaboutallobjectsattheleastremove,thesoftcolorsoftheflowers,thedullblueofthelowskyshowingthroughtheriftsofthedirtywhiteclouds,thehoveringpallofLondonsmoke,werealldeartohim,andhewasanxiousthatI
shouldnotloseanythingoftheircharm。
HewasanxiousthatIshouldnotmissthevalueofanythinginEngland,andwhilehevolunteeredthatthearistocracyhadthecorruptionsofaristocracieseverywhere,heinsisteduponmyrespectfulinterestinitbecauseitwassohistorical。Perhapstherewasatouchofironyinthisdemand,butitiscertainthathewasveryhappyinEngland。Hehadcomeoftheagewhenamanlikessmooth,warmkeeping,inwhichheneedmakenostruggleforhiscomfort;disciplinedandobsequiousservice;society,perfectlyascertainedwithinthelargersocietywhichwecallcivilization;andinanalienenvironment,forwhichhewasinnowiseresponsible,hecouldhavethesewithoutapangoftheself—reproachwhichathomemakesamanunhappyamidsthisluxuries,whenheconsiderstheircosttoothers。Hehadapositionwhichforbadethoughtofunfairnessintheconditions;hemustnotwakebecauseoftheslave,itwashisdutytosleep。Besides,atthattimeLowellneededalltheresthecouldget,forhehadlatelypassedthroughtrialssuchasbreakthestrengthofmen,andhowthemwithprematureage。HewaslivingaloneinhislittlehouseinLowndesSquare,andMrs。Lowellwasinthecountry,slowlyrecoveringfromtheeffectsoftheterribletyphuswhichshehadbarelysurvivedinMadrid。Hewasyetsoneartheanguishofthatexperiencethathetoldmehehadstillinhisnervestheexpectationofacertainagonizedcryfromherwhichusedtorendthem。Buthesaidhehadadjustedhimselftothis,andhewentontospeakwithapatiencewhichwasmoreaffectinginhimthaninmenofmorephlegmatictemperament,ofhowwewereabletoadjustourselvestoallourtrialsandtotheconstantpresenceofpain。Hesaidhewasneverfreeofacertaindistress,whichwasoftenasharppang,inoneofhisshoulders,buthisphysiquehadestablishedsuchrelationswithitthat,thoughhewasneverunconsciousofit,hewasabletoendureitwithoutarecognitionofitassuffering。
Heseemedtome,however,verywell,andathisageofsixty—three,I
couldnotseethathewaslessalertandvigorousthanhewaswhenI
firstknewhiminCambridge。Hehadthesamebrisk,lightstep,andthoughhisbeardwaswellwhitenedandhisauburnhairhadgrownashenthroughthered,hisfacehadthefreshnessandhiseyestheclearnessofayoungman’s。Isupposethenoveltyofhislifekepthimfromthinkingabouthisyears;orperhapsincontactwiththosegreat,insenescentEnglishmen,hecouldnotfeelhimselfold。Atanyratehedidnotoncespeakofage,asheusedtodotenyearsearlier,andI,thenhalfthroughmyforties,wasstill\"Youyoungdog\"tohim。Itwasabrightandcheerfulrenewaloftheearlykindlinessbetweenus,onwhichindeedtherehadneverbeenashadow,exceptsuchasdistancethrows。Hewishedapparentlytodoeverythinghecouldtoassureusofhispersonalinterest;andwewereamusedtofindhimnervouslyapprehensiveofanypurpose,suchaswasfarfromus,toprofitbyhimofficially。Hebetrayedadistinctreliefwhenhefoundwewerenotgoingtocomeuponhimevenforadmissionstothehousesofparliament,whichweweretoseebymeansofanEnglishacquaintance。Hehadnotperhapsfoundsomeotherfellow—citizenssoconsiderate;hedreadedthehalf—dutiesofhisplace,likepresentationstothequeen,andcomplainedofthecheapambitionshehadtogratifyinthatway。
HewassoeagertohavemelikeEnglandineveryway,andseemedsofondoftheEnglish,thatIthoughtitbesttoaskhimwhetherhemindedmyquoting,inapaperaboutLexington,whichIwasjustthengoingtoprintinaLondonmagazine,somehumorouslinesofhisexpressingthemountingsatisfactionofanimaginaryYankeestory—tellerwhohastheoldfightterminateinLordPercy’scoming\"TohammerstoneforlifeinConcordjail。\"
IthadoccurredtomethatitmightpossiblyembarrasshimtohavethispatrioticpicturepresentedtoapublicwhichcouldnottakeourFourthofJulypleasureinit,andIofferedtosuppressit,asIdidafterwardsquiteforliteraryreasons。Hesaid,No,letitstand,andletthemmaketheworstofit;andIfancythatmuchofhissuccesswithapeoplewhoarenotgingerlywithotherpeople’ssensibilitiescamefromthefranknesswithwhichhetrampledontheirprejudicewhenhechose。
Hesaidhealwaystoldthem,whentherewasquestionofsuchthings,thatthebestsocietyhehadeverknownwasinCambridge,Massachusetts。
HecontendedthatthebestEnglishwasspokenthere;andsoitwas,whenhespokeit。
WewereinLondonoutoftheseason,andhewassorrythathecouldnothavememeetsometitleswhohedeclaredhadfoundpleasureinmybooks;
whenwereturnedfromItalyinthefollowingJune,hewasprompttodomethishonor。Idaresayhewishedmetofeelittoitslastimplication,andIdidmybest,buttherewasnothingintheeveningIenjoyedsomuchashiscominguptoMrs。Lowell,attheclose,whentherewasonlyatitleortwoleft,andsayingtoherashewouldhavesaidtoheratElmwood,whereshewouldhavepersonallyplannedit,\"Fanny,thatwasafinedinneryougaveus。\"Ofcourse,thiswasinatenderburlesque;
butitremainsthesupremeimpressionofwhatseemedtomeacloudlesslyhappyperiodforLowell。Hiswifewasquiterecoveredofherlongsuffering,andwasagainattheheadofhishouse,sharinginhispleasures,andenjoyinghissuccessesforhissake;successessogreatthatpeoplespokeofhimseriously,as\"anadditiontosociety\"inLondon,whereonemanmoreorlessseemedlikeadropinthesea。
ShewasawomanperfectlyoftheNewEnglandtypeandtradition:almostrepellantlyshyatfirst,andalmostglaciallycoldwithnewacquaintance,butafterwardsverysweetandcordial。ShewasofadarkbeautywitharegularfaceoftheSpanishoutline;Lowellwasofanidealmannertowardsher,andofanadmirationwhichdelicatelytravestieditselfandwhichsheknewhowtoreceivewithsmilingirony。Afterherdeath,whichoccurredwhilehewasstillinEngland,heneverspokeofhertome,thoughbeforethatheusedtobealwaysbringinghernamein,withayounglover—likefondness。
XI。
InthehurryoftheLondonseasonIdidnotseesomuchofLowellonoursecondsojournasonourfirst,butoncewhenwewerealoneinhisstudytherewasareturntothetermsoftheoldmeetingsinCambridge。Hesmokedhispipe,andsatbyhisfireandphilosophized;andbutforthegreatLondonseaswirlingoutsideandburstingthroughourshelter,anddashinghimwithnotesthatmustbeinstantlyanswered,itwasaveryfairimageofthepast。Hewantedtotellmeabouthiscoachmanwhomhehadgotatonhishumansidewithgreatlikingandamusement,andtherewasapatientgentlenessinhismannerwiththefootmanwhohadtokeepcominginuponhimwiththosenoteswhichwasliketheechoofhisyoungfaithintheequalityofmen。ButhealwaysdistinguishedbetweenthesimpleunconsciousequalityoftheordinaryAmericananditsassumptionbyaforeigner。HesaidhedidnotmindsuchanAmerican’scomingintohishousewithhishaton;butifaGermanorEnglishmandidit,hewantedtoknockitoff。Hewasapttoberatherpunctiliousinhisshowsofdeferencetowardsothers,andatonetimehepractisedremovinghisownhatwhenhewentintoshopsinCambridge。ItmusthavemystifiedtheCambridgesalesmen,andIdoubtifhekeptitup。
Withreferencetothedoctrineofhisyoungpoetry,thefierceandthetenderhumanityofhisstormandstressperiod,IfancyakindofbaffleinLowell,whichIshouldnotperhapsfinditeasytoprove。Ineverknewhimbywordorhinttorenouncethisdoctrine,buthecouldnotcometoseventyyearswithouthavingseenmanyhighhopesfade,andknownmanyinspiredpropheciesfail。Whenwehavedoneourbesttomaketheworldover,weareapttobedismayedbyfindingitinmuchtheoldshape。
Ashesaidofthemoralgovernmentoftheuniverse,thescaleissovast,andalittledifference,alittlechangeforthebetter,isscarcelyperceptibletotheeagerconsciousnessofthewholesalereformer。
Butwithwhateversenseofdisappointment,ofdoubtastohisowndeedsfortruerfreedomandforbetterconditionsIbelievehissympathywasstillwiththosewhohadsomeheartforhopingandstriving。Iamsurethatthoughhedidnotagreewithmeinsomeofmyownlaternotionsfortheredemptionoftherace,hedidnotlikemethelessbutratherthemorebecause(tomyowngreatsurpriseIconfess)Ihadnowandthenthecourageofmyconvictions,bothliteraryandsocial。
Hewasprobablymostatoddswithmeinregardtomytheoriesoffiction,thoughhepersistedindeclaringhispleasureinmyownfiction。Hewasinfact,bynatureandtradition,thoroughlyromantic,andhecouldnotorwouldnotsufferrealisminanybutafriend。HesteadfastlyrefusedeventoreadtheRussianmasters,tohisimmenseloss,asItriedtopersuadehim,andevenamongthemodernSpaniards,forwhomhemighthavehadasortofpersonalkindnessfromhisloveofCervantes,hechoseoneforhispraisetheleastworthy,ofit,andboremedownwithhisheaviermetalinargumentwhenIopposedtoAlarcon’sfactitiousnessthedelightfulgenuinenessofValdes。Ibsen,withalltheNorwegians,heputfarfromhim;hewouldnomoreknowthemthantheRussians;theFrenchnaturalistsheabhorred。Ithoughthimallwrong,butyoudonottryimprovingyourelderswhentheyhavecometothreescoreandtenyears,andIwouldratherhavehadhisaffectionunbrokenbyourdifferenceofopinionthanaperfectagreement。Whereheevenimaginedthatthisdifferencecouldworkmeharm,hewasanxioustohavemeknowthathemeantmenone;andhewasatthetroubletowritemealetterwhenaBostonpaperhadperverteditsreportofwhathesaidinapubliclecturetomydisadvantage,andtoassuremethathehadnotmeinmind。Whenoncehehadgivenhisliking,hecouldnotbearthatanyshadowofchangeshouldseemtohavecomeuponhim。Hehadamostbeautifulandendearingidealoffriendship;hedesiredtoaffirmitandtoreaffirmitasoftenasoccasionoffered,andifoccasiondidnotoffer,hemadeoccasion。
Itdidnotmatterwhatyousaidordidthatcontrariedhim;ifhethoughthehadessentiallydivinedyou,youwerestillthesame:andonhisparthewasbynomeansexactingofequaldemonstration,butseemednoteventowishit。
XII。
AfterhewasreplacedatLondonbyaministermoreimmediatelyrepresentativeoftheDemocraticadministration,hecamehome。Hemadeabraveshowofnotcaringtohaveremainedaway,butintruthhehadbecomeveryfondofEngland,wherehehadmadesomanyfriends,andwherethedistinctionhehad,inthatcomfortablypaddedenvironment,wassoagreeabletohim。
ItwouldhavebeenlikehimtohavesecretlyhopedthatthenewPresidentmightkeephiminLondon,butheneverbetrayedanyignobledisappointment,andhewouldnotjoininanyblameofhim。AtourfirstmeetingafterhecamehomehespokeofthemovementwhichhadmadeMr。
Clevelandpresident,andsaidhesupposedthatifhehadbeenhere,heshouldhavebeeninit。Allhisfriendswere,headded,alittlehelplessly;butheseemednottodislikemysayingIknewoneofhisfriendswhowasnot:infact,asIhavetold,heneverdislikedaplumpdifference——unlesshedislikedthedifferer。
ForseveralyearshewentbacktoEnglandeverysummer,anditwasnotuntilhetookuphisabodeatElmwoodagainthathespentawholeyearathome。Onewinterhepassedathissister’shomeinBoston,butmostlyhelivedwithhisdaughteratSouthborough。IhaveheardastoryofhisgoingtoElmwoodsoonafterhisreturnin1885,andsittingdowninhisoldstudy,wherehedeclaredwithtearsthattheplacewasfullofghosts。Butfourorfiveyearslateritwaswellforfamilyreasonsthatheshouldlivethere;andaboutthesametimeithappenedthatIhadtakenahouseforthesummerinhisneighborhood。Hecametoseeme,andtoassureme,inalltacitformsofhissympathyinasorrowforwhichtherecouldbenohelp;butitwasnotpossiblethattheoldintimaterelationsshouldberesumed。Theaffectionwasthere,asmuchonhissideasonmine,Ibelieve;buthewasnowanoldmanandIwasanelderlyman,andwecouldnot,withoutinsincerity,approacheachotherinthethingsthathaddrawnustogetherinearlierandhappieryears。
Hiscoursewasrun;myown,inwhichhehadtakensuchagenerouspleasure,couldscarcelymovehisjadedinterest。Hislife,sofarasitremainedtohim,hadreneweditselfinotherair;thelaterfriendshipsbeyondseassufficedhim,andwerewithoutthepang,withouttheeffortthatmustattendtheknittingupoffrayedtieshere。
HecouldneverhavebeenanythingbutAmerican,ifhehadtried,andhecertainlynevertried;buthecertainlydidnotreturntotheoutwardsimplicitiesofhislifeasIfirstknewit。Therewasnomoreround—
hat—and—sack—coatbusinessforhim;heworeafrockandahighhat,andwhateverelsewasratherlikeLondonthanCambridge;Idonotknowbutdrabgaiterssometimesaddedtotheeffectofagentlemanoftheoldschoolwhichhenowproduceduponthewitness。Somefastidiousnessesshowedthemselvesinhim,whichwerenotsosurprising。HecomplainedoftheAmericanlowerclassmanner;theconductorandcabmanwouldbekindtoyoubuttheywouldnotberespectful,andhecouldnotseethefunofthisintheoldway。Earlyinouracquaintanceheratherstupifiedmebysaying,\"Ilikeyoubecauseyoudon’tputyourhandsonme,\"andIheardofhisconsentingtosomesortofreceptioninthoselastyears,\"Yes,iftheywon’tshakehands。\"
EversincehisvisittoRomein1875hehadlethisheavymustachegrowlongtillitdroppedbelowthecornersofhisbeard,whichwasnowalmostwhite;hisfacehadlosttheruddyhuesocharacteristicofhim。Ifancyhewasthenailingwithpremonitionsofthedisorderwhichafewyearslaterprovedmortal,buthestillborehimselfwithsufficientvigor,andhewalkedthedistancebetweenhishouseandmine,thoughoncewhenI
missedhisvisitthefamilyreportedthatafterhecameinhesatalongtimewithscarcelyaword,asiftoowearytotalk。Thatwinter,IwentintoBostontolive,andIsawhimonlyatinfrequentintervals,whenI
couldgoouttoElmwood。AtsuchtimesIfoundhimsittingintheroomwhichwasformerlythedrawing—room,butwhichhadbeenjoinedwithhisstudybytakingawaythepartitionsbesidetheheavymassoftheoldcolonialchimney。Hetoldmethatwhenhewasanewbornbabe,thenursehadcarriedhimroundthischimney,forluck,andnowinfrontofthesamehearth,thewhiteoldmanstretchedhimselfinaneasy—chair,withhiswriting—padonhiskneesandhisbooksonthetableathiselbow,andwaswillingtobeentreatednottorise。Irememberthesunusedtocomeinattheeasternwindowsfullpour,andbathetheairinitswarmth。
Healwayshailedmegayly,andifIfoundhimwithlettersnewlycomefromEngland,asIsometimesdid,heglowedandsparkledwithfreshlife。
Hewantedtoreadpassagesfromthoseletters,hewantedtotalkabouttheirwriters,andtomakemefeeltheirworthandcharmashedid。
HestilldreamedofgoingbacktoEnglandthenextsummer,butthatwasnottobe。Onedayhereceivedmenotlessgaylythanusual,butwithacertainexcitement,andbegantotellmeaboutanoddexperiencehehadhad,notatallpainful,butwhichhadverymuchmystifiedhim。Hehadsinceseenthedoctor,andthedoctorhadassuredhimthattherewasnothingalarminginwhathadhappened,andinrecallingthisassurance,hebegantolookatthehumorousaspectsofthecase,andtomakesomejokesaboutit。Hewishedtotalkofit,asmendooftheirmaladies,andveryfully,andIgavehimsuchproofofmyinterestaseveninvitinghimtotalkofitwouldconvey。Inspiteofthedoctor’sassurance,andhisjoyfulacceptanceofit,Idoubtifatthebottomofhishearttherewasnotthestirofanuneasymisgiving;buthehadnotforalongtimeshownhimselfsocheerful。
Itwasthebeginningoftheend。Herecoveredandrelapsed,andrecoveredagain;butneverforlong。LateinthespringIcameout,andhehadmestaytodinner,whichwassomehowasitusedtobeattwoo’clock;andafterdinnerwewentoutonhislawn。Hegotalong—handledspud,andtriedtogrubupsomedandelionswhichhefoundinhisturf,butafteramomentortwohethrewitdown,andputhishanduponhisbackwithagroan。IdidnotseehimagaintillIcameouttotakeleaveofhimbeforegoingawayforthesummer,andthenIfoundhimsittingonthelittleporchinawesterncornerofhishouse,withavolumeofScottcloseduponhisfinger。Thereweresomeotherpeople,andourmeetingwaswiththeconstraintoftheirpresence。Itwasnaturalinnothingsomuchashissayingverysignificantlytome,asifheknewofmyheresiesconcerningScott,andwouldhavemeknowhedidnotapproveofthem,thattherewasnothinghenowfoundsomuchpleasureinasScott’snovels。
Anotherfriend,equallyheretical,wasby,butneitherofusattemptedtogainsayhim。Lowelltalkedverylittle,buthetoldofhavingbeenawalktoBeaverBrook,andofhavingwishedtojumpfromonestonetoanotherinthestream,andofhavinghadtogiveitup。Hesaid,withoutcompletingthesentence,Ifithadcometothatwithhim!Thenhefellsilentagain;andwithsomevaintalkofseeinghimwhenIcamebackinthefall,Iwentawaysickatheart。Iwasnottoseehimagain,andI
shallnotlookuponhislike。
IamawarethatIhavehereshownhimfromthispointandfromthatinaseriesofsketcheswhichperhapscollectivelyimpart,butdonotassemblehispersonalityinoneimpression。Hedidnot,indeed,makeoneimpressionuponme,butathousandimpressions,whichIshouldseekinvaintoembodyinasinglepresentment。WhatIhavecloudilybeforemeisthevisionofaveryloftyandsimplesoul,perplexed,andasitweresurprisedandevendismayedatthecomplexityoftheeffectsfrommotivessosingleinit,butescapingalwaystoaclearexpressionofwhatwasnoblestandloveliestinitselfatthesuprememoments,inthedivineexigencies。Ibelieveneitherinheroesnorinsaints;butIbelieveingreatandgoodmen,forIhaveknownthem,andamongsuchmenLowellwasoftherichestnatureIhaveknown。Hisnaturewasnotalwayssereneorpellucid;itwassometimesroiledbythecurrentsthatcounterandcrossinallofus;butitwaswithouttheleastalloyofinsincerity,anditwasneverdarkenedbytheshadowofaselfishfear。Hisgeniuswasaninstrumentthatrespondedinaffluentharmonytothepowerthatmadehimahumoristandthatmadehimapoet,andappointedhimrarelytobequiteeitheralone。