第1章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Dream Life and Real Life",免费读到尾

  byOliveSchreinerALittleAfricanStorybyOliveSchreinerDedication。

  ToMyBrotherFred,Forwhoselittleschoolmagazinethefirstofthesetinystories——oneofthefirstIevermade——waswrittenoutmanylongyearsago。

  O。S。

  NewCollege,Eastbourne,Sept。29,1893。

  Contents。

  I。DreamLifeandRealLife;aLittleAfricanStory。

  II。TheWoman’sRose。

  III。\"ThePolicyinFavourofProtection——\"。

  Kopjes—Inthekaroo,arehillocksofstones,thatriseupsinglyorinclusters,hereandthere;presentingsometimesthefantasticappearanceofoldruinedcastlesorgiantgraves,theworkofhumanhands。

  Kraal—Asheepfold。

  Krantz—Aprecipice。

  Sluit—Adeepfissure,generallydry,inwhichthesuperfluoustorrentsofwaterarecarriedfromthekarooplainsafterthunderstorms。

  Stoep—Aporch。

  I。DREAMLIFEANDREALLIFE;ALITTLEAFRICANSTORY。

  LittleJannitasatalonebesideamilk—bush。Beforeherandbehindherstretchedtheplain,coveredwithredsandandthornykaroobushes;andhereandthereamilk—bush,lookinglikeabundleofpalegreenrodstiedtogether。Notatreewastobeseenanywhere,exceptonthebanksoftheriver,andthatwasfaraway,andthesunbeatonherhead。RoundherfedtheAngoragoatsshewasherding;prettythings,especiallythelittleones,withwhitesilkycurlsthattouchedtheground。ButJannitasatcrying。Ifanangelshouldgatherupinhiscupallthetearsthathavebeenshed,Ithinkthebitterestwouldbethoseofchildren。

  Byandbyshewassotired,andthesunwassohot,shelaidherheadagainstthemilk—bush,anddroppedasleep。

  Shedreamedabeautifuldream。Shethoughtthatwhenshewentbacktothefarmhouseintheevening,thewallswerecoveredwithvinesandroses,andthekraalswerenotmadeofredstone,butoflilactreesfullofblossom。

  AndthefatoldBoersmiledather;andthestickheheldacrossthedoor,forthegoatstojumpover,wasalilyrodwithsevenblossomsattheend。

  Whenshewenttothehousehermistressgaveherawholeroaster—cakeforhersupper,andthemistress’sdaughterhadstuckaroseinthecake;andhermistress’sson—in—lawsaid,\"Thankyou!\"whenshepulledoffhisboots,anddidnotkickher。

  Itwasabeautifuldream。

  Whileshelaythusdreaming,oneofthelittlekidscameandlickedheronhercheek,becauseofthesaltfromherdried—uptears。Andinherdreamshewasnotapoorindenturedchildanymore,livingwithBoers。Itwasherfatherwhokissedher。Hesaidhehadonlybeenasleep——thatdaywhenhelaydownunderthethorn—bush;hehadnotreallydied。Hefeltherhair,andsaiditwasgrownlongandsilky,andhesaidtheywouldgobacktoDenmarknow。Heaskedherwhyherfeetwerebare,andwhatthemarksonherbackwere。Thenheputherheadonhisshoulder,andpickedherup,andcarriedheraway,away!Shelaughed——shecouldfeelherfaceagainsthisbrownbeard。Hisarmsweresostrong。

  Asshelaytheredreaming,withtheantsrunningoverhernakedfeet,andwithherbrowncurlslyinginthesand,aHottentotcameuptoher。Hewasdressedinraggedyellowtrousers,andadirtyshirt,andtornjacket。Hehadaredhandkerchiefroundhishead,andafelthatabovethat。Hisnosewasflat,hiseyeslikeslits,andthewoolonhisheadwasgatheredintolittleroundballs。Hecametothemilk—bush,andlookedatthelittlegirllyinginthehotsun。Thenhewalkedoff,andcaughtoneofthefattestlittleAngoragoats,andhelditsmouthfast,ashestuckitunderhisarm。Helookedbacktoseethatshewasstillsleeping,andjumpeddownintooneofthesluits。Hewalkeddownthebedofthesluitalittlewayandcametoanoverhangingbank,underwhich,sittingontheredsand,weretwomen。Onewasatiny,ragged,oldbushman,fourfeethigh;theotherwasanEnglishnavvy,inadarkblueblouse。Theycutthekid’sthroatwiththenavvy’slongknife,andcoveredupthebloodwithsand,andburiedtheentrailsandskin。Thentheytalked,andquarrelledalittle;andthentheytalkedquietlyagain。

  TheHottentotmanputalegofthekidunderhiscoatandlefttherestofthemeatforthetwointhesluit,andwalkedaway。

  WhenlittleJannitaawokeitwasalmostsunset。Shesatupveryfrightened,buthergoatswereallabouther。Shebegantodrivethemhome。\"Idonotthinkthereareanylost,\"shesaid。

  Dirk,theHottentot,hadbroughthisflockhomealready,andstoodatthekraaldoorwithhisraggedyellowtrousers。ThefatoldBoerputhisstickacrossthedoor,andletJannita’sgoatsjumpover,onebyone。Hecountedthem。Whenthelastjumpedover:\"Haveyoubeentosleeptoday?\"hesaid;

  \"thereisonemissing。\"

  ThenlittleJannitaknewwhatwascoming,andshesaid,inalowvoice,\"No。\"Andthenshefeltinherheartthatdeadlysicknessthatyoufeelwhenyoutellalie;andagainshesaid,\"Yes。\"

  \"Doyouthinkyouwillhaveanysupperthisevening?\"saidtheBoer。

  \"No,\"saidJannita。

  \"Whatdoyouthinkyouwillhave?\"

  \"Idon’tknow,\"saidJannita。

  \"Givemeyourwhip,\"saidtheBoertoDirk,theHottentot……

  Themoonwasallbutfullthatnight。Oh,butitslightwasbeautiful!

  Thelittlegirlcrepttothedooroftheouthousewheresheslept,andlookedatit。Whenyouarehungry,andvery,verysore,youdonotcry。

  Sheleanedherchinononehand,andlooked,withhergreatdove’seyes——

  theotherhandwascutopen,soshewrappeditinherpinafore。Shelookedacrosstheplainatthesandandthelowkaroo—bushes,withthemoonlightonthem。

  Presently,therecameslowly,fromfaraway,awildspringbuck。Itcameclosetothehouse,andstoodlookingatitinwonder,whilethemoonlightglintedonitshorns,andinitsgreateyes。Itstoodwonderingattheredbrickwalls,andthegirlwatchedit。Then,suddenly,asifitscorneditall,itcurveditsbeautifulbackandturned;andawayitfledoverthebushesandsand,likeasheenystreakofwhitelightning。Shestooduptowatchit。Sofree,sofree!Away,away!Shewatched,tillshecouldseeitnomoreonthewideplain。

  Herheartswelled,larger,larger,larger:sheutteredalowcry;andwithoutwaiting,pausing,thinking,shefollowedonitstrack。Away,away,away!\"I——Ialso!\"shesaid,\"I——Ialso!\"

  Whenatlastherlegsbegantotrembleunderher,andshestoppedtobreathe,thehousewasaspeckbehindher。Shedroppedontheearth,andheldherpantingsides。

  Shebegantothinknow。

  Ifshestayedontheplaintheywouldtraceherfootstepsinthemorningandcatchher;butifshewadedinthewaterinthebedoftherivertheywouldnotbeabletofindherfootmarks;andshewouldhide,therewheretherocksandthekopjeswere。

  Soshestoodupandwalkedtowardstheriver。Thewaterintheriverwaslow;justalineofsilverinthebroadbedofsand,hereandtherebroadeningintoapool。Shesteppedintoit,andbathedherfeetinthedeliciouscoldwater。Upandupthestreamshewalked,whereitrattledoverthepebbles,andpastwherethefarmhouselay;andwheretherockswerelargesheleapedfromonetotheother。Thenightwindinherfacemadeherstrong——shelaughed。Shehadneverfeltsuchnightwindbefore。

  Sothenightsmellstothewildbucks,becausetheyarefree!Afreethingfeelsasachainedthingnevercan。

  Atlastshecametoaplacewherethewillowsgrewoneachsideoftheriver,andtrailedtheirlongbranchesonthesandybed。Shecouldnottellwhy,shecouldnottellthereason,butafeelingoffearcameoverher。

  Ontheleftbankroseachainofkopjesandaprecipiceofrocks。Betweentheprecipiceandtheriverbanktherewasanarrowpathcoveredbythefragmentsoffallenrock。Anduponthesummitoftheprecipiceakippersoltreegrew,whosepalm—likeleaveswereclearlycutoutagainstthenightsky。Therockscastadeepshadow,andthewillowtrees,oneithersideoftheriver。Shepaused,lookedupandabouther,andthenranon,fearful。

  \"WhatwasIafraidof?HowfoolishIhavebeen!\"shesaid,whenshecametoaplacewherethetreeswerenotsoclosetogether。Andshestoodstillandlookedbackandshivered。

  Atlastherstepsgrewwearierandwearier。Shewasverysleepynow,shecouldscarcelyliftherfeet。Shesteppedoutoftheriver—bed。Sheonlysawthattherocksaboutherwerewild,asthoughmanylittlekopjeshadbeenbrokenupandstrewnupontheground,laydownatthefootofanaloe,andfellasleep……

  But,inthemorning,shesawwhatagloriousplaceitwas。Therockswerepiledononeanother,andtossedthiswayandthat。Pricklypearsgrewamongthem,andtherewerenolessthansixkippersoltreesscatteredhereandthereamongthebrokenkopjes。Intherockstherewerehundredsofhomesfortheconies,andfromthecreviceswildasparagushungdown。Sherantotheriver,bathedintheclearcoldwater,andtosseditoverherhead。Shesangaloud。Allthesongssheknewweresad,soshecouldnotsingthemnow,shewasglad,shewassofree;butshesangthenoteswithoutthewords,asthecock—o—veetsdo。Singingandjumpingalltheway,shewentback,andtookasharpstone,andcutattherootofakippersol,andgotoutalargepiece,aslongasherarm,andsattochewit。Twoconiescameoutontherockaboveherheadandpeepedather。Sheheldthemoutapiece,buttheydidnotwantit,andranaway。

  Itwasverydelicioustoher。Kippersolislikerawquince,whenitisverygreen;butshelikedit。Whengoodfoodisthrownatyoubyotherpeople,strangetosay,itisverybitter;butwhateveryoufindyourselfissweet!

  Whenshehadfinishedshedugoutanotherpiece,andwenttolookforapantrytoputitin。Atthetopofaheapofrocksupwhichsheclamberedshefoundthatsomelargestonesstoodapartbutmetatthetop,makingaroom。

  \"Oh,thisismylittlehome!\"shesaid。

  Atthetopandallrounditwasclosed,onlyinthefrontitwasopen。

  Therewasabeautifulshelfinthewallforthekippersol,andshescrambleddownagain。Shebroughtagreatbunchofpricklypear,andstuckitinacrevicebeforethedoor,andhungwildasparagusoverit,tillitlookedasthoughitgrewthere。Noonecouldseethattherewasaroomthere,forsheleftonlyatinyopening,andhungabranchoffeatheryasparagusoverit。Thenshecreptintoseehowitlooked。Therewasaglorioussoftgreenlight。Thenshewentoutandpickedsomeofthosepurplelittlegroundflowers——youknowthem——thosethatkeeptheirfacesclosetotheground,butwhenyouturnthemupandlookatthemtheyaredeepblueeyeslookingintoyours!Shetookthemwithalittleearth,andputtheminthecrevicesbetweentherocks;andsotheroomwasquitefurnished。Afterwardsshewentdowntotheriverandbroughtherarmsfullofwillow,andmadealovelybed;and,becausetheweatherwasveryhot,shelaydowntorestuponit。

  Shewenttosleepsoon,andsleptlong,forshewasveryweak。Lateintheafternoonshewasawakenedbyafewcolddropsfallingonherface。Shesatup。Agreatandfiercethunderstormhadbeenraging,andafewofthecooldropshadfallenthroughthecreviceintherocks。Shepushedtheasparagusbranchaside,andlookedout,withherlittlehandsfoldedaboutherknees。Sheheardthethunderrolling,andsawtheredtorrentsrushamongthestonesontheirwaytotheriver。Sheheardtheroaroftheriverasitnowrolled,angryandred,bearingawaystumpsandtreesonitsmuddywater。Shelistenedandsmiled,andpressedclosertotherockthattookcareofher。Shepressedthepalmofherhandagainstit。Whenyouhavenoonetoloveyou,youlovethedumbthingsverymuch。Whenthesunset,itclearedup。Thenthelittlegirlatesomekippersol,andlaydownagaintosleep。Shethoughttherewasnothingsoniceastosleep。Whenonehashadnofoodbutkippersoljuicefortwodays,onedoesn’tfeelstrong。

  \"Itissonicehere,\"shethoughtasshewenttosleep,\"Iwillstayherealways。\"

  Afterwardsthemoonrose。Theskywasveryclearnow,therewasnotacloudanywhere;andthemoonshoneinthroughthebushesinthedoor,andmadealattice—workoflightonherface。Shewasdreamingabeautifuldream。Theloveliestdreamsofallaredreamedwhenyouarehungry。Shethoughtshewaswalkinginabeautifulplace,holdingherfather’shand,andtheybothhadcrownsontheirheads,crownsofwildasparagus。Thepeoplewhomtheypassedsmiledandkissedher;somegaveherflowers,andsomegaveherfood,andthesunlightwaseverywhere。Shedreamedthesamedreamoverandover,anditgrewmoreandmorebeautiful;till,suddenly,itseemedasthoughshewerestandingquitealone。Shelookedup:ononesideofherwasthehighprecipice,ontheotherwastheriver,withthewillowtrees,droopingtheirbranchesintothewater;andthemoonlightwasoverall。Up,againstthenightskythepointedleavesofthekippersoltreeswereclearlymarked,andtherocksandthewillowtreescastdarkshadows。

  Inhersleepsheshivered,andhalfawoke。

  \"Ah,Iamnotthere,Iamhere,\"shesaid;andshecreptclosertotherock,andkissedit,andwenttosleepagain。

  Itmusthavebeenaboutthreeo’clock,forthemoonhadbeguntosinktowardsthewesternsky,whenshewoke,withaviolentstart。Shesatup,andpressedherhandagainstherheart。

  \"Whatcanitbe?Aconymustsurelyhaverunacrossmyfeetandfrightenedme!\"shesaid,andsheturnedtoliedownagain;butsoonshesatup。

  Outside,therewasthedistinctsoundofthornscracklinginafire。

  Shecrepttothedoorandmadeanopeninginthebrancheswithherfingers。

  Alargefirewasblazingintheshadow,atthefootoftherocks。AlittleBushmansatoversomeburningcoalsthathadbeenrakedfromit,cookingmeat。StretchedonthegroundwasanEnglishman,dressedinablouse,andwithaheavy,sullenface。OnthestonebesidehimwasDirk,theHottentot,sharpeningabowieknife。

  Sheheldherbreath。Notaconyinalltherockswassostill。

  \"Theycanneverfindmehere,\"shesaid;andsheknelt,andlistenedtoeverywordtheysaid。Shecouldhearitall。

  \"Youmayhaveallthemoney,\"saidtheBushman;\"butIwantthecaskofbrandy。Iwillsettheroofalightinsixplaces,foraDutchmanburntmymotheroncealiveinahut,withthreechildren。\"

  \"Youaresurethereisnooneelseonthefarm?\"saidthenavvy。

  \"No,IhavetoldyoutillIamtired,\"saidDirk;\"ThetwoKaffirshavegonewiththesontotown;andthemaidshavegonetoadance;thereisonlytheoldmanandthetwowomenleft。\"

  \"Butsuppose,\"saidthenavvy,\"heshouldhavethegunathisbedside,andloaded!\"

  \"Heneverhas,\"saidDirk;\"ithangsinthepassage,andthecartridgestoo。Heneverthoughtwhenheboughtitwhatworkitwasfor!Ionlywishthelittlewhitegirlwastherestill,\"saidDirk;\"butsheisdrowned。Wetracedherfootmarkstothegreatpoolthathasnobottom。\"

  Shelistenedtoeveryword,andtheytalkedon。

  Afterwards,thelittleBushman,whocrouchedoverthefire,satupsuddenly,listening。

  \"Ha!whatisthat?\"hesaid。

  ABushmanislikeadog:hisearissofineheknowsajackal’streadfromawilddog’s。

  \"Iheardnothing,\"saidthenavvy。

  \"Iheard,\"saidtheHottentot;\"butitwasonlyaconyontherocks。\"

  \"Nocony,nocony,\"saidtheBushman;\"see,whatisthattheremovingintheshaderoundthepoint?\"

  \"Nothing,youidiot!\"saidthenavvy。\"Finishyourmeat;wemuststartnow。\"

  Thereweretworoadstothehomestead。Onewentalongtheopenplain,andwasbyfartheshortest;butyoumightbeseenhalfamileoff。Theotherranalongtheriverbank,wheretherewererocks,andholes,andwillowtreestohideamong。Andalldowntheriverbankranalittlefigure。

  Theriverwasswollenbythestormfulltoitsbanks,andthewillowtreesdippedtheirhalf—drownedbranchesintoitswater。Wherevertherewasagapbetweenthem,youcouldseeitflow,redandmuddy,withthestumpsuponit。Butthelittlefigureranonandon;neverlooking,neverthinking;panting,panting!There,wheretherockswerethethickest;

  there,whereontheopenspacethemoonlightshone;there,wherethepricklypearsweretangled,andtherockscastshadows,onitran;thelittlehandsclinched,thelittleheartbeating,theeyesfixedalwaysahead。

  Itwasnotfartorunnow。Onlythenarrowpathbetweenthehighrocksandtheriver。

  Atlastshecametotheendofit,andstoodforaninstant。Beforeherlaytheplain,andtheredfarmhouse,sonear,thatifpersonshadbeenwalkingthereyoumighthaveseentheminthemoonlight。Sheclaspedherhands。\"Yes,Iwilltellthem,Iwilltellthem!\"shesaid;\"Iamalmostthere!\"Sheranforwardagain,thenhesitated。Sheshadedhereyesfromthemoonlight,andlooked。Betweenherandthefarmhousetherewerethreefiguresmovingoverthelowbushes。

  Inthesheenymoonlightyoucouldseehowtheymovedon,slowlyandfurtively;theshortone,andtheoneinlightclothes,andtheoneindark。

  \"Icannothelpthemnow!\"shecried,andsankdownontheground,withherlittlehandsclaspedbeforeher……

  \"Awake,awake!\"saidthefarmer’swife;\"Ihearastrangenoise;somethingcalling,calling,calling!\"

  Themanrose,andwenttothewindow。

  \"Ihearitalso,\"hesaid;\"surelysomejackal’satthesheep。Iwillloadmygunandgoandsee。\"

  \"Itsoundstomelikethecryofnojackal,\"saidthewoman;andwhenhewasgoneshewokeherdaughter。

  \"Come,letusgoandmakeafire,Icansleepnomore,\"shesaid;\"Ihaveheardastrangethingtonight。Yourfathersaiditwasajackal’scry,butnojackalcriesso。Itwasachild’svoice,anditcried,’Master,master,wake!’\"

  Thewomenlookedateachother;thentheywenttothekitchen,andmadeagreatfire;andtheysangpsalmsallthewhile。

  Atlastthemancameback;andtheyaskedhim,\"Whathaveyouseen?\"

  \"Nothing,\"hesaid,\"butthesheepasleepintheirkraals,andthemoonlightonthewalls。Andyet,itdidseemtome,\"headded,\"thatfarawaynearthekrantzbytheriver,Isawthreefiguresmoving。Andafterwards——itmighthavebeenfancy——IthoughtIheardthecryagain;butsincethat,allhasbeenstillthere。\"……

  Nextdayanavvyhadreturnedtotherailwayworks。

  \"Wherehaveyoubeensolong?\"hiscomradesasked。

  \"Hekeepslookingoverhisshoulder,\"saidone,\"asthoughhethoughtheshouldseesomethingthere。\"

  \"Whenhedrankhisgrogtoday,\"saidanother,\"heletitfall,andlookedround。\"

  Nextday,asmalloldBushman,andaHottentot,inraggedyellowtrousers,wereatawaysidecanteen。WhentheBushmanhadhadbrandy,hebegantotellhowsomething(hedidnotsaywhetheritwasman,woman,orchild)hadliftedupitshandsandcriedformercy;hadkissedawhiteman’shands,andcriedtohimtohelpit。ThentheHottentottooktheBushmanbythethroat,anddraggedhimout。

  Nextnight,themoonroseup,andmountedthequietsky。Shewasfullnow,andlookedinatthelittlehome;atthepurpleflowersstuckabouttheroom,andthekippersolontheshelf。Herlightfellonthewillowtrees,andonthehighrocks,andonalittlenew—madeheapofearthandroundstones。Threemenknewwhatwasunderit;andnooneelseeverwill。

  LilyKloof,SouthAfrica。

  II。THEWOMAN’SROSE。

  Ihaveanold,browncarvedbox;thelidisbrokenandtiedwithastring。

  InitIkeeplittlesquaresofpaper,withhairinside,andalittlepicturewhichhungovermybrother’sbedwhenwewerechildren,andotherthingsassmall。Ihaveinitarose。Otherwomenalsohavesuchboxeswheretheykeepsuchtrifles,butnoonehasmyrose。

  Whenmyeyeisdim,andmyheartgrowsfaint,andmyfaithinwomanflickers,andherpresentisanagonytome,andherfutureadespair,thescentofthatdeadrose,witheredfortwelveyears,comesbacktome。I

  knowtherewillbespring;assurelyasthebirdsknowitwhentheyseeabovethesnowtwotiny,quiveringgreenleaves。Springcannotfailus。

  Therewereotherflowersintheboxonce;abunchofwhiteacaciaflowers,gatheredbythestronghandofaman,aswepasseddownavillagestreetonasultryafternoon,whenithadrained,andthedropsfellonusfromtheleavesoftheacaciatrees。Theflowersweredamp;theymademildewmarksonthepaperIfoldedthemin。AftermanyyearsIthrewthemaway。Thereisnothingofthemleftintheboxnow,butafaint,strongsmellofdriedacacia,thatrecallsthatsultrysummerafternoon;buttheroseisintheboxstill。

  Itismanyyearsagonow;Iwasagirloffifteen,andIwenttovisitinasmallup—countrytown。Itwasyounginthosedays,andtwodays’journeyfromthenearestvillage;thepopulationconsistedmainlyofmen。Afewweremarried,andhadtheirwivesandchildren,butmostweresingle。

  TherewasonlyoneyounggirltherewhenIcame。Shewasaboutseventeen,fair,andratherfully—fleshed;shehadlargedreamyblueeyes,andwavylighthair;full,ratherheavylips,untilshesmiled;thenherfacebrokeintodimples,andallherwhiteteethshone。Thehotel—keepermayhavehadadaughter,andthefarmerintheoutskirtshadtwo,butweneversawthem。

  Shereignedalone。Allthemenworshippedher。Shewastheonlywomantheyhadtothinkof。Theytalkedofheronthestoep,atthemarket,atthehotel;theywatchedforheratstreetcorners;theyhatedthemanshebowedtoorwalkedwithdownthestreet。Theybroughtflowerstothefrontdoor;theyofferedhertheirhorses;theybeggedhertomarrythemwhentheydared。Partly,therewassomethingnobleandheroicinthisdevotionofmentothebestwomantheyknew;partlytherewassomethingnaturalinit,thatthesemen,shutofffromtheworld,shouldpouratthefeetofonewomantheworshipthatotherwisewouldhavebeengiventotwenty;andpartlytherewassomethingmeanintheirenvyofoneanother。Ifshehadraisedherlittlefinger,Isuppose,shemighthavemarriedanyoneoutoftwentyofthem。

  ThenIcame。IdonotthinkIwasprettier;IdonotthinkIwassoprettyasshewas。Iwascertainlynotashandsome。ButIwasvital,andIwasnew,andshewasold——theyallforsookherandfollowedme。Theyworshippedme。Itwastomydoorthattheflowerscame;itwasIhadtwentyhorsesofferedmewhenIcouldonlyrideone;itwasformetheywaitedatstreetcorners;itwaswhatIsaidanddidthattheytalkedof。

  PartlyIlikedit。Ihadlivedaloneallmylife;nooneeverhadtoldmeIwasbeautifulandawoman。Ibelievedthem。Ididnotknowitwassimplyafashion,whichonemanhadsetandtherestfollowedunreasoningly。Ilikedthemtoaskmetomarrythem,andtosay,No。I

  despisedthem。Themotherhearthadnotswelledinmeyet;Ididnotknowallmenweremychildren,asthelargewomanknowswhenherheartisgrown。

  Iwastoosmalltobetender。Ilikedmypower。Iwaslikeachildwithanewwhip,whichitgoesaboutcrackingeverywhere,notcaringagainstwhat。

  Icouldnotwinditupandputitaway。Menwerecuriouscreatures,wholikedme,Icouldnevertellwhy。Onlyonethingtookfrommypleasure;I

  couldnotbearthattheyhaddesertedherforme。Ilikedhergreatdreamyblueeyes,Ilikedherslowwalkanddrawl;whenIsawhersittingamongmen,sheseemedtomemuchtoogoodtobeamongthem;Iwouldhavegivenalltheircomplimentsifshewouldoncehavesmiledatmeasshesmiledatthem,withallherfacebreakingintoradiance,withherdimplesandflashingteeth。ButIknewitnevercouldbe;Ifeltsureshehatedme;

  thatshewishedIwasdead;thatshewishedIhadnevercometothevillage。Shedidnotknow,whenwewentoutriding,andamanwhohadalwaysriddenbesidehercametoridebesideme,thatIsenthimaway;thatoncewhenamanthoughttowinmyfavourbyridiculingherslowdrawlbeforemeIturnedonhimsofiercelythatheneverdaredcomebeforemeagain。Iknewsheknewthatatthehotelmenhadmadeabetastowhichwastheprettier,sheorI,andhadaskedeachmanwhocamein,andthattheonewhohadstakedonmewon。Ihatedthemforit,butIwouldnotletherseethatIcaredaboutwhatshefelttowardsme。

  SheandIneverspoketoeachother。

  Ifwemetinthevillagestreetwebowedandpassedon;whenweshookhandswedidsosilently,anddidnotlookateachother。ButIthoughtshefeltmypresenceinaroomjustasIfelthers。

  Atlastthetimeformygoingcame。Iwastoleavethenextday。SomeoneIknewgaveapartyinmyhonour,towhichallthevillagewasinvited。

  Itwasmidwinter。Therewasnothinginthegardensbutafewdahliasandchrysanthemums,andIsupposethatfortwohundredmilesroundtherewasnotarosetobeboughtforloveormoney。Onlyinthegardenofafriendofmine,inasunnycornerbetweentheovenandthebrickwall,therewasarosetreegrowingwhichhadonitonebud。Itwaswhite,andithadbeenpromisedtothefairhairedgirltowearattheparty。

  Theeveningcame;whenIarrivedandwenttothewaiting—room,totakeoffmymantle,Ifoundthegirltherealready。Shewasdressedinpurewhite,withhergreatwhitearmsandshouldersshowing,andherbrighthairglitteringinthecandle—light,andthewhiterosefastenedatherbreast。

  Shelookedlikeaqueen。Isaid\"Good—evening,\"andturnedawayquicklytotheglasstoarrangemyoldblackscarfacrossmyoldblackdress。

  ThenIfeltahandtouchmyhair。

  \"Standstill,\"shesaid。

  Ilookedintheglass。Shehadtakenthewhiterosefromherbreast,andwasfasteningitinmyhair。

  \"Hownicedarkhairis;itsetsoffflowersso。\"Shesteppedbackandlookedatme。\"Itlooksmuchbetterthere!\"

  Iturnedround。

  \"Youaresobeautifultome,\"Isaid。

  \"Y—e—s,\"shesaid,withherslowColonialdrawl;\"I’msoglad。\"

  Westoodlookingateachother。

  Thentheycameinandsweptusawaytodance。Alltheeveningwedidnotcomeneartoeachother。Onlyonce,asshepassed,shesmiledatme。

  ThenextmorningIleftthetown。

  Ineversawheragain。

  YearsafterwardsIheardshehadmarriedandgonetoAmerica;itmayormaynotbeso——buttherose——theroseisintheboxstill!Whenmyfaithinwomangrowsdim,anditseemsthatforwantofloveandmagnanimityshecanplaynopartinanyfutureheaven;thenthescentofthatsmallwitheredthingcomesback:——springcannotfailus。

  Matjesfontein,SouthAfrica。

  III。\"THEPOLICYINFAVOUROFPROTECTION——\"。

  WasitRight?——WasitWrong?

  Awomansatatherdeskinthecornerofaroom;behindherafireburntbrightly。

  Presentlyaservantcameinandgaveheracard。

  \"SayIambusyandcanseenoonenow。Ihavetofinishthisarticlebytwoo’clock。\"

  Theservantcameback。Thecallersaidshewouldonlykeepheramoment:

  itwasnecessarysheshouldseeher。

  Thewomanrosefromherdesk。\"Telltheboytowait。Asktheladytocomein。\"

  Ayoungwomaninasilkdress,withacloakreachingtoherfeet,entered。

  Shewastallandslight,withfairhair。

  \"Iknewyouwouldnotmind。Iwishedtoseeyouso!\"

  Thewomanofferedheraseatbythefire。\"MayIloosenyourcloak?——theroomiswarm。\"

  \"Iwantedsotocomeandseeyou。Youaretheonlypersonintheworldwhocouldhelpme!Iknowyouaresolarge,andgenerous,andkindtootherwomen!\"Shesatdown。Tearsstoodinherlargeblueeyes:shewaspullingoffherlittleglovesunconsciously。

  \"YouknowMr。——\"(shementionedthenameofawell—knownwriter):\"Iknowyoumeethimofteninyourwork。Iwantyoutodosomethingforme!\"

  Thewomanonthehearth—ruglookeddownather。

  \"Icouldn’ttellmyfatherormymother,oranyoneelse;butIcantellyou,thoughIknowsolittleofyou。Youknow,lastsummerhecameandstayedwithusamonth。Isawagreatdealofhim。Idon’tknowifhelikedme;Iknowhelikedmysinging,andwerodetogether——IlikedhimmorethananymanIhaveeverseen。Oh,youknowitisn’ttruethatawomancanonlylikeamanwhenhelikesher;andIthought,perhaps,helikedmealittle。Sincewehavebeenintownwehaveasked,buthehasnevercometoseeus。Perhapspeoplehavebeensayingsomethingtohimaboutme。Youknowhim,youarealwaysmeetinghim,couldn’tyousayordoanythingforme?\"Shelookedupwithherlipswhiteanddrawn。\"IfeelsometimesasifIweregoingmad!Oh,itissoterribletobeawoman!\"

  Thewomanlookeddownather。\"NowIhearhelikesanotherwoman。Idon’tknowwhosheis,buttheysaysheissoclever,andwrites。Oh,itissoterrible,Ican’tbearit。\"

  Thewomanleanedherelbowagainstthemantelpiece,andherfaceagainstherhand。Shelookeddownintothefire。Thensheturnedandlookedattheyoungerwoman。\"Yes,\"shesaid,\"itisaveryterriblethingtobeawoman。\"Shewassilent。Shesaidwithsomedifficulty:\"Areyousureyoulovehim?Areyousureitisnotonlythefeelingayounggirlhasforanoldermanwhoiscelebrated,andofwhomeveryoneistalking?\"

  \"Ihavebeennearlymad。Ihaven’tsleptforweeks!\"Sheknitherlittlehandstogether,tillthejewelledringsalmostcutintothefingers。\"Heiseverythingtome;thereisnothingelseintheworld。You,whoaresogreat,andstrong,andclever,andwhocareonlyforyourwork,andformenasyourfriends,youcannotunderstandwhatitiswhenonepersoniseverythingtoyou,whenthereisnothingelseintheworld!\"

  \"Andwhatdoyouwantmetodo?\"

  \"Oh,Idon’tknow!\"Shelookedup。\"Awomanknowswhatshecando。Don’ttellhimthatIlovehim。\"Shelookedupagain。\"Justsaysomethingtohim。Oh,it’ssoterribletobeawoman;Ican’tdoanything。Youwon’ttellhimexactlythatIlovehim?That’sthethingthatmakesamanhateawoman,ifyoutellithimplainly。\"

  \"IfIspeaktohimImustspeakopenly。Heismyfriend。Icannotfencewithhim。Ihaveneverfencedwithhiminmyownaffairs。\"Shemovedasthoughsheweregoingawayfromthefireplace,thensheturnedandsaid:

  \"Haveyouthoughtofwhatloveisbetweenamanandawomanwhenitmeansmarriage?Thatlong,longlifetogether,dayafterday,strippedofallromanceanddistance,livingfacetoface:seeingeachotherasamanseeshisownsoul?Doyourealizethattheendofmarriageistomakethemanandwomanstrongerthantheywere;andthatifyoucannot,whenyouareanoldmanandwomanandsitbythefire,say,’Lifehasbeenabraverandafreerthingforus,becausewepassedithandinhand,thanifwehadpassedthroughitalone,’ithasfailed?Doyoucareforhimenoughtoliveforhim,nottomorrow,butwhenheisanold,fadedman,andyouanold,fadedwoman?Canyouforgivehimhissinsandhisweaknesses,whentheyhurtyoumost?Ifheweretolieaquerulousinvalidfortwentyyears,wouldyoubeabletofoldhiminyourarmsallthattime,andcomforthim,asamothercomfortsherlittlechild?\"Thewomandrewherbreathheavily。

  \"Oh,Ilovehimabsolutely!Iwouldbegladtodie,ifonlyIcouldonceknowthathelovedmebetterthananythingintheworld!\"

  Thewomanstoodlookingdownather。\"Haveyouneverthoughtofthatotherwoman;whethershecouldnotperhapsmakehislifeasperfectasyou?\"sheasked,slowly。

  \"Oh,nowomanevercouldbetohimwhatIwouldbe。Iwouldliveforhim。

  Hebelongstome。\"Shebentherselfforward,notcrying,buthershouldersmoving。\"Itissuchaterriblethingtobeawoman,tobeabletodonothingandsaynothing!\"

  Thewomanputherhandonhershoulder;theyoungerwomanlookedupintoherface;thentheelderturnedawayandstoodlookingintothefire。

  Therewassuchquiet,youcouldheartheclocktickabovethewriting—

  table。

  Thewomansaid:\"ThereisonethingIcandoforyou。Idonotknowifitwillbeofanyuse——Iwilldoit。\"Sheturnedaway。

  \"Oh,youaresogreatandgood,sobeautiful,sodifferentfromotherwomen,whoarealwaysthinkingonlyofthemselves!Thankyousomuch。I

  knowIcantrustyou。Icouldn’thavetoldmymother,oranyonebutyou。\"

  \"Nowyoumustgo;Ihavemyworktofinish。\"

  Theyoungerwomanputherarmsroundher。\"Oh,youaresogoodandbeautiful!\"

  Thesilkdressandthefurcloakrustledoutoftheroom。

  Thewomanwhowasleftalonewalkedupanddown,atlastfasterandfaster,tillthedropsstoodonherforehead。Afteratimeshewentuptothetable;therewaswrittenillegiblyinaman’shandonafragmentofmanuscriptpaper:\"CanIcometoseeyouthisafternoon?\"Nearitwasaclosedandaddressedenvelope。Sheopenedit。Initwerewrittenthewords:\"Yes,please,come。\"

  Shetoreitacrossandwrotethewords:\"No,Ishallnotbeatliberty。\"

  Sheclosedtheminanenvelopeandaddressedthem。Thensherolledupthemanuscriptonthetableandrangthebell。Shegaveittotheservant。

  \"Telltheboytogivethistohismaster,andsaythearticleendsratherabruptly;theymuststateitistobecontinued;Iwillfinishittomorrow。

  AshepassesNo。20lethimleavethisnotethere。\"

  Theservantwentout。Shewalkedupanddownwithherhandsfoldedaboveherhead……

  Twomonthsafter,theolderwomanstoodbeforethefire。Thedooropenedsuddenly,andtheyoungerwomancamein。

  \"Ihadtocome——Icouldn’twait。Youhaveheard,hewasmarriedthismorning?Oh,doyouthinkitistrue?Dohelpme!\"Sheputoutherhands。

  \"Sitdown。Yes,itisquitetrue。\"

  \"Oh,itissoterrible,andIdidn’tknowanything!Didyoueversayanythingtohim?\"Shecaughtthewoman’shands。

  \"Ineversawhimagainafterthedayyouwerehere,——soIcouldnotspeaktohim,——butIdidwhatIcould。\"Shestoodlookingpassivelyintothefire。

  \"Andtheysaysheisquiteachild,onlyeighteen。Theysayheonlysawherthreetimesbeforeheproposedtoher。Doyouthinkitistrue?\"

  \"Yes,itisquitetrue。\"

  \"Hecan’tloveher。Theysayhe’sonlymarryingherforherrankandhermoney。\"

  Thewomanturnedquickly。

  \"Whatrighthaveyoutosaythat?NoonebutIknowhim。Whatneedhasheofanyone’srankorwealth?Heisgreaterthanthemall!Olderwomenmayhavefailedhim;hehasneededtoturntoherbeautiful,fresh,younglifetocompensatehim。Sheisawomanwhomanymanmighthaveloved,soyoungandbeautiful;herfamilyarefamedfortheirintellect。Ifhetrainsher,shemaymakehimabetterwifethananyotherwomanwouldhavedone。\"

  \"Oh,butIcan’tbearit——Ican’tbearit!\"Theyoungerwomansatdowninthechair。\"Shewillbehiswife,andhavehischildren。\"

  \"Yes。\"Theelderwomanmovedquickly。\"Onewantstohavethechild,andlayitsheadonone’sbreastandfeedit。\"Shemovedquickly。\"Itwouldnotmatterifanotherwomanboreit,ifonehadittotakecareof。\"Shemovedrestlessly。

  \"Oh,no,Icouldn’tbearittobehers。WhenIthinkofherIfeelasifI

  weredying;allmyfingersturncold;Ifeeldead。Oh,youwereonlyhisfriend;youdon’tknow!\"

  Theolderspokesoftlyandquickly,\"Don’tyoufeelalittlegentletoherwhenyouthinkshe’sgoingtobehiswifeandthemotherofhischild?I

  wouldliketoputmyarmsroundherandtouchheronce,ifshewouldletme。Sheissobeautiful,theysay。\"

  \"Oh,Icouldneverbeartoseeher;itwouldkillme。Andtheyaresohappytogethertoday!Heislovingherso!\"

  \"Don’tyouwanthimtobehappy?\"Theolderwomanlookeddownather。

  \"Haveyouneverlovedhim,atall?\"

  Theyoungerwoman’sfacewascoveredwithherhands。\"Oh,it’ssoterrible,sodark!andIshallgoonlivingyearafteryear,alwaysinthisawfulpain!Oh,ifIcouldonlydie!\"

  Theolderwomanstoodlookingintothefire;thenslowlyandmeasuredlyshesaid,\"Therearetimes,inlife,wheneverythingseemsdark,whenthebrainreels,andwecannotseethatthereisanythingbutdeath。But,ifwewaitlongenough,afterlong,longyears,calmcomes。Itmaybewecannotsayitwaswell;butwearecontented,weacceptthepast。Thestruggleisended。Thatdaymaycomeforyou,perhapssoonerthanyouthink。\"Shespokeslowlyandwithdifficulty。

  \"No,itcannevercomeforme。IfonceIhavelovedathing,Iloveitforever。Icanneverforget。\"

  \"Loveisnottheonlyendinlife。Thereareotherthingstolivefor。\"

  \"Oh,yes,foryou!Tomeloveiseverything!\"

  \"Now,youmustgo,dear。\"

  Theyoungerwomanstoodup。\"Ithasbeensuchacomforttotalktoyou。I

  thinkIshouldhavekilledmyselfifIhadnotcome。Youhelpmeso。I

  shallalwaysbegratefultoyou。\"

  Theolderwomantookherhand。

  \"Iwanttoasksomethingofyou。\"

  \"Whatisit?\"

  \"Icannotquiteexplaintoyou。Youwillnotunderstand。Buttherearetimeswhensomethingmoreterriblecancomeintoalifethanitshouldlosewhatitloves。Ifyouhavehadadreamofwhatlifeoughttobe,andyoutrytomakeitreal,andyoufail;andsomethingyouhavekilledoutinyourheartforlongyearswakesupandcries,’Leteachmanplayhisowngame,andcarenothingforthehandofhisfellow!Eachmanforhimself。

  Sothegamemustbeplayed!’andyoudoubtallyouhavelivedfor,andthegroundseemswashingoutunderyourfeet——。\"Shepaused。\"Suchatimehascometomenow。Ifyouwouldpromisemethatifeveranotherwomancomestoseekyourhelp,youwillgiveittoher,andtrytoloveherformysake,Ithinkitwillhelpme。IthinkIshouldbeabletokeepmyfaith。\"

  \"Oh,Iwilldoanythingyouaskmeto。Youaresogoodandgreat。\"

  \"Oh,goodandgreat!——ifyouknew!Nowgo,dear。\"

  \"Ihavenotkeptyoufromyourwork,haveI?\"

  \"No;Ihavenotbeenworkinglately。Good—by,dear。\"

  Theyoungerwomanwent;andtheelderkneltdownbythechair,andwailedlikealittlechildwhenyouhavestruckitanditdoesnotdaretocryloud。

  Ayearafter;itwasearlyspringagain。

  Thewomansatatherdeskwriting;behindherthefireburntbrightly。ShewaswritingaleadingarticleonthecauseswhichindifferingpeoplesleadtotheadoptionofFreeTradeorProtectionistprinciples。

  Thewomanwroteonquickly。Afterawhiletheservantenteredandlaidapileoflettersonthetable。\"TelltheboyIshallhavedoneinfifteenminutes。\"Shewroteon。Thenshecaughtsightofthewritingononeoftheletters。Sheputdownherpen,andopenedit。Itranso:——

  \"DearFriend,——Iamwritingtoyou,becauseIknowyouwillrejoicetohearofmygreathappiness。Doyourememberhowyoutoldmethatdaybythefiretowait,andafterlong,longyearsIshouldseethatallwasforthebest?Thattimehascomesoonerthanwehoped。LastweekinRomeIwasmarriedtothebest,noblest,mostlarge—heartedofmen。WearenowinFlorencetogether。Youdon’tknowhowbeautifulalllifeistome。Iknownowthattheoldpassionwasonlyagirl’sfoolishdream。MyhusbandisthefirstmanIhaveevertrulyloved。Helovesmeandunderstandsmeasnoothermanevercould。Iamthankfulthatmydreamwasbroken;Godhadbetterthingsinstoreforme。Idon’thatethatwomananymore;Iloveeveryone!Howareyou,dear?WeshallcomeandseeyouassoonaswearriveinEngland。Ialwaysthinkofyousohappyinyourgreatworkandhelpingotherpeople。Idon’tthinknowitisterribletobeawoman;itislovely。

  \"Ihopeyouareenjoyingthisbeautifulspringweather。

  \"Yours,alwaysfullofgratitudeandlove,\"E——。\"

  Thewomanreadtheletter:thenshestoodupandwalkedtowardsthefire。

  Shedidnotre—readit,butstoodwithitopeninherhand,lookingdownintotheblaze。Herlipsweredrawninatthecorners。Presentlyshetoretheletterupslowly,andwatchedthebitsfloatingdownonebyoneintothegrate。Thenshewentbacktoherdesk,andbegantowrite,withhermouthstilldrawninatthecorners。Afterawhileshelaidherarmonthepaperandherheadonherarm,andseemedtogotosleepthere。

  Presentlytheservantknocked;theboywaswaiting。\"Tellhimtowaittenminutesmore。\"Shetookupherpen——\"ThePolicyoftheAustralianColoniesinfavourofProtectioniseasilyunderstood——\"shewaited——\"whenoneconsidersthefact——thefact——;\"thenshefinishedthearticle。

  CapeTown,SouthAfrica,1892。

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