SentimentalandOtherwiseIfearthegentlemantowhomMissAmelia’sletterswereaddressedwasratheranobduratecritic。SuchanumberofnotesfollowedLieutenantOsborneaboutthecountry，thathebecamealmostashamedofthejokesofhismess-roomcompanionsregardingthem，andorderedhisservantnevertodeliverthemexceptathisprivateapartment。
Hewasseenlightinghiscigarwithone，tothehorrorofCaptainDobbin，who，itismybelief，wouldhavegivenabank-noteforthedocument。
ForsometimeGeorgestrovetokeeptheliaisonasecret。Therewasawomaninthecase，thatheadmitted。
“Andnotthefirsteither。”saidEnsignSpooneytoEnsignStubble。”ThatOsborne’sadevilofafellow。Therewasajudge’sdaughteratDemerarawentalmostmadabouthim；thentherewasthatbeautifulquadroongirl，MissPye，atSt。Vincent’s，youknow；andsincehe’sbeenhome，theysayhe’saregularDonGiovanni，byJove。”
StubbleandSpooneythoughtthattobea“regularDonGiovanni，byJove“wasoneofthefinestqualitiesamancouldpossess，andOsborne’sreputationwasprodigiousamongsttheyoungmenoftheregiment。Hewasfamousinfield-sports，famousatasong，famousonparade；freewithhismoney，whichwasbountifullysuppliedbyhisfather。Hiscoatswerebettermadethananyman’sintheregiment，andhehadmoreofthem。Hewasadoredbythemen。Hecoulddrinkmorethananyofficerofthewholemess，includingoldHeavytop，thecolonel。HecouldsparbetterthanKnuckles，theprivatewhowouldhavebeenacorporalbutforhisdrunkenness，andwhohadbeenintheprize-ring；andwasthebestbatterandbowler，outandout，oftheregimentalclub。
Herodehisownhorse，GreasedLightning，andwontheGarrisoncupatQuebecraces。TherewereotherpeoplebesidesAmeliawhoworshippedhim。StubbleandSpooneythoughthimasortofApollo；DobbintookhimtobeanAdmirableCrichton；andMrs。MajorO’Dowdacknowledgedhewasanelegantyoungfellow，andputherinmindofFitzjurldFogarty，LordCastlefogarty’ssecondson。
Well，StubbleandSpooneyandtherestindulgedinmostromanticconjecturesregardingthisfemalecorrespondentofOsborne’s——opiningthatitwasaDuchessinLondonwhowasinlovewithhim——orthatitwasaGeneral’sdaughter，whowasengagedtosomebodyelse，andmadlyattachedtohim——orthatitwasaMemberofParliament’slady，whoproposedfourhorsesandanelopement——orthatitwassomeothervictimofapassiondelightfullyexciting，romantic，anddisgracefultoallparties，onnoneofwhichconjectureswouldOsbornethrowtheleastlight，leavinghisyoungadmirersandfriendstoinventandarrangetheirwholehistory。
AndtherealstateofthecasewouldneverhavebeenknownatallintheregimentbutforCaptainDobbin’sindiscretion。TheCaptainwaseatinghisbreakfastonedayinthemess-room，whileCackle，theassistant-surgeon，andthetwoabove-namedworthieswerespeculatinguponOsborne’sintrigue——StubbleholdingoutthattheladywasaDuchessaboutQueenCharlotte’scourt，andCacklevowingshewasanopera-singeroftheworstreputation。
AtthisideaDobbinbecamesomoved，thatthoughhismouthwasfullofeggsandbread-and-butteratthetime，andthoughheoughtnottohavespokenatall，yethecouldn’thelpblurtingout，“Cackle，you’reastupidfool。
You’realwaystalkingnonsenseandscandal。OsborneisnotgoingtorunoffwithaDuchessorruinamilliner。
MissSedleyisoneofthemostcharmingyoungwomenthateverlived。He’sbeenengagedtohereversolong；
andthemanwhocallshernameshadbetternotdosoinmyhearing。”Withwhich，turningexceedinglyred，Dobbinceasedspeaking，andalmostchokedhimselfwithacupoftea。Thestorywasovertheregimentinhalf-an-
hour；andthatveryeveningMrs。MajorO’DowdwroteofftohersisterGlorvinaatO’DowdstownnottohurryfromDublin——youngOsbornebeingprematurelyengagedalready。
ShecomplimentedtheLieutenantinanappropriatespeechoveraglassofwhisky-toddythatevening，andhewenthomeperfectlyfurioustoquarrelwithDobbinwhohaddeclinedMrs。MajorO’Dowd’sparty，andsatinhisownroomplayingtheflute，and，Ibelieve，writingpoetryinaverymelancholymanner——toquarrelwithDobbinforbetrayinghissecret。
“Whothedeuceaskedyoutotalkaboutmyaffairs？”
Osborneshoutedindignantly。”WhythedevilisalltheregimenttoknowthatIamgoingtobemarried？Whyisthattattlingoldharridan，PeggyO’Dowd，tomakefreewithmynameatherd——dsupper-table，andadvertisemyengagementoverthethreekingdoms？Afterall，whatrighthaveyoutosayIamengaged，ortomeddleinmybusinessatall，Dobbin？”
“Itseemstome。”CaptainDobbinbegan。
“Seemsbehanged，Dobbin。”hisjuniorinterruptedhim。”Iamunderobligationstoyou，Iknowit，ad——ddealtoowelltoo；butIwon’tbealwayssermonisedbyyoubecauseyou’refiveyearsmysenior。I’mhangedifI’llstandyourairsofsuperiorityandinfernalpityandpatronage。Pityandpatronage！IshouldliketoknowinwhatI’myourinferior？”
“Areyouengaged？”CaptainDobbininterposed。
“Whatthedevil’sthattoyouoranyonehereifIam？”
“Areyouashamedofit？”Dobbinresumed。
“Whatrighthaveyoutoaskmethatquestion，sir？I
shouldliketoknow。”Georgesaid。
“GoodGod，youdon’tmeantosayyouwanttobreakoff？”askedDobbin，startingup。
“Inotherwords，youaskmeifI’mamanofhonour。”
saidOsborne，fiercely；“isthatwhatyoumean？You’veadoptedsuchatoneregardingmelatelythatI’m——
ifI’llbearitanymore。”
“WhathaveIdone？I’vetoldyouyouwereneglectingasweetgirl，George。I’vetoldyouthatwhenyougototownyououghttogotoher，andnottothegambling-
housesaboutSt。James’s。”
“Youwantyourmoneyback，Isuppose。”saidGeorge，withasneer。
“OfcourseIdo——Ialwaysdid，didn’tI？”saysDobbin。
“Youspeaklikeagenerousfellow。”
“No，hangit，William，Ibegyourpardon“——hereGeorgeinterposedinafitofremorse；“youhavebeenmyfriendinahundredways，Heavenknows。You’vegotmeoutofascoreofscrapes。WhenCrawleyoftheGuardswonthatsumofmoneyofmeIshouldhavebeendonebutforyou：IknowIshould。Butyoushouldn’tdealsohardlywithme；youshouldn’tbealwayscatechisingme。
IamveryfondofAmelia；Iadoreher，andthatsortofthing。Don’tlookangry。She’sfaultless；Iknowsheis。
Butyouseethere’snofuninwinningathingunlessyouplayforit。Hangit：theregiment’sjustbackfromtheWestIndies，Imusthavealittlefling，andthenwhenI’mmarriedI’llreform；Iwilluponmyhonour，now。And——I
say——Dob——don’tbeangrywithme，andI’llgiveyouahundrednextmonth，whenIknowmyfatherwillstandsomethinghandsome；andI’llaskHeavytopforleave，andI’llgototown，andseeAmeliato-morrow——therenow，willthatsatisfyyou？”
“Itisimpossibletobelongangrywithyou，George。”
saidthegood-naturedCaptain；“andasforthemoney，oldboy，youknowifIwantedityou’dshareyourlastshillingwithme。”
“ThatIwould，byJove，Dobbin。”Georgesaid，withthegreatestgenerosity，thoughbythewayheneverhadanymoneytospare。
“OnlyIwishyouhadsownthosewildoatsofyours，George。IfyoucouldhaveseenpoorlittleMissEmmy’sfacewhensheaskedmeaboutyoutheotherday，youwouldhavepitchedthosebilliard-ballstothedeuce。Goandcomforther，yourascal。Goandwriteheralongletter。Dosomethingtomakeherhappy；averylittlewill。”
“Ibelieveshe’sd——dfondofme。”theLieutenantsaid，withaself-satisfiedair；andwentofftofinishtheeveningwithsomejollyfellowsinthemess-room。
Ameliameanwhile，inRussellSquare，waslookingatthemoon，whichwasshininguponthatpeacefulspot，aswellasuponthesquareoftheChathambarracks，whereLieutenantOsbornewasquartered，andthinkingtoherselfhowherherowasemployed。Perhapsheisvisitingthesentries，thoughtshe；perhapsheisbivouacking；
perhapsheisattendingthecouchofawoundedcomrade，orstudyingtheartofwarupinhisowndesolatechamber。
Andherkindthoughtsspedawayasiftheywereangelsandhadwings，andflyingdowntherivertoChathamandRochester，strovetopeepintothebarrackswhereGeorgewas……Allthingsconsidered，Ithinkitwasaswellthegateswereshut，andthesentryallowednoonetopass；sothatthepoorlittlewhite-robedangelcouldnothearthesongsthoseyoungfellowswereroaringoverthewhisky-punch。
ThedayafterthelittleconversationatChathambarracks，youngOsborne，toshowthathewouldbeasgoodashisword，preparedtogototown，therebyincurringCaptainDobbin’sapplause。”Ishouldhavelikedtomakeheralittlepresent。”Osbornesaidtohisfriendinconfidence。”onlyIamquiteoutofcashuntilmyfathertipsup。”ButDobbinwouldnotallowthisgoodnatureandgenerositytobebalked，andsoaccommodatedMr。Osbornewithafewpoundnotes，whichthelattertookafteralittlefaintscruple。
AndIdaresayhewouldhaveboughtsomethingveryhandsomeforAmelia；only，gettingoffthecoachinFleetStreet，hewasattractedbyahandsomeshirt-pininajeweller’swindow，whichhecouldnotresist；andhavingpaidforthat，hadverylittlemoneytospareforindulginginanyfurtherexerciseofkindness。Nevermind：youmaybesureitwasnothispresentsAmeliawanted。WhenhecametoRussellSquare，herfacelightedupasifhehadbeensunshine。Thelittlecares，fears，tears，timidmisgivings，sleeplessfanciesofIdon’tknowhowmanydaysandnights，wereforgotten，underonemoment’sinfluenceofthatfamiliar，irresistiblesmile。Hebeamedonherfromthedrawing-roomdoor——magnificent，withambrosialwhiskers，likeagod。Sambo，whosefaceasheannouncedCaptainOsbinhavingconferredabrevetrankonthatyoungofficerblazedwithasympatheticgrin，sawthelittlegirlstart，andflush，andjumpupfromherwatching-placeinthewindow；andSamboretreated：andassoonasthedoorwasshut，shewentflutteringtoLieutenantGeorgeOsborne’sheartasifitwastheonlynaturalhomeforhertonestlein。Oh，thoupoorpantinglittlesoul！Theveryfinesttreeinthewholeforest，withthestraighteststem，andthestrongestarms，andthethickestfoliage，whereinyouchoosetobuildandcoo，maybemarked，forwhatyouknow，andmaybedownwithacrasherelong。Whatanold，oldsimilethatis，betweenmanandtimber！
Inthemeanwhile，Georgekissedherverykindlyonherforeheadandglisteningeyes，andwasverygraciousandgood；andshethoughthisdiamondshirt-pinwhichshehadnotknownhimtowearbeforetheprettiestornamenteverseen。
Theobservantreader，whohasmarkedouryoungLieutenant’spreviousbehaviour，andhaspreservedourreportofthebriefconversationwhichhehasjusthadwithCaptainDobbin，haspossiblycometocertainconclusionsregardingthecharacterofMr。Osborne。SomecynicalFrenchmanhassaidthattherearetwopartiestoalove-transaction：theonewholovesandtheotherwhocondescendstobesotreated。Perhapstheloveisoccasionallyontheman’sside；perhapsonthelady’s。
Perhapssomeinfatuatedswainhaserethismistakeninsensibilityformodesty，dulnessformaidenreserve，merevacuityforsweetbashfulness，andagoose，inaword，foraswan。Perhapssomebelovedfemalesubscriberhasarrayedanassinthesplendourandgloryofherimagination；admiredhisdulnessasmanlysimplicity；
worshippedhisselfishnessasmanlysuperiority；treatedhisstupidityasmajesticgravity，andusedhimasthebrilliantfairyTitaniadidacertainweaveratAthens。IthinkIhaveseensuchcomediesoferrorsgoingonintheworld。Butthisiscertain，thatAmeliabelievedherlovertobeoneofthemostgallantandbrilliantmenintheempire：anditispossibleLieutenantOsbornethoughtsotoo。
Hewasalittlewild：howmanyyoungmenare；anddon’tgirlslikearakebetterthanamilksop？Hehadn’tsownhiswildoatsasyet，buthewouldsoon：andquitthearmynowthatpeacewasproclaimed；theCorsicanmonsterlockedupatElba；promotionbyconsequenceover；andnochanceleftforthedisplayofhisundoubtedmilitarytalentsandvalour：andhisallowance，withAmelia’ssettlement，wouldenablethemtotakeasnugplaceinthecountrysomewhere，inagoodsportingneighbourhood；andhewouldhuntalittle，andfarmalittle；andtheywouldbeveryhappy。Asforremaininginthearmyasamarriedman，thatwasimpossible。
FancyMrs。GeorgeOsborneinlodgingsinacountytown；or，worsestill，intheEastorWestIndies，withasocietyofofficers，andpatronizedbyMrs。MajorO’Dowd！
AmeliadiedwithlaughingatOsborne’sstoriesaboutMrs。MajorO’Dowd。Helovedhermuchtoofondlytosubjecthertothathorridwomanandhervulgarities，andtheroughtreatmentofasoldier’swife。Hedidn’tcareforhimself——nothe；buthisdearlittlegirlshouldtaketheplaceinsocietytowhich，ashiswife，shewasentitled：andtotheseproposalsyoumaybesuresheacceded，asshewouldtoanyotherfromthesameauthor。
Holdingthiskindofconversation，andbuildingnumberlesscastlesintheairwhichAmeliaadornedwithallsortsofflower-gardens，rusticwalks，countrychurches，Sundayschools，andthelike；whileGeorgehadhismind’seyedirectedtothestables，thekennel，andthecellar，thisyoungpairpassedawayacoupleofhoursverypleasantly；andastheLieutenanthadonlythatsingledayintown，andagreatdealofmostimportantbusinesstotransact，itwasproposedthatMissEmmyshoulddinewithherfuturesisters-in-law。Thisinvitationwasacceptedjoyfully。Heconductedhertohissisters；wherehelefthertalkingandprattlinginawaythatastonishedthoseladies，whothoughtthatGeorgemightmakesomethingofher；andhethenwentofftotransacthisbusiness。