imaginehesyoungagaincominginat4inthemorningitmustbeifnotmorestillhehadthemannersnottowakemewhatdotheyfindtogabberaboutallnightsquanderingmoneyandgettingdrunkeranddrunkercouldnttheydrinkwaterthenhestartsgivingushisordersforeggsandteaFindonhaddyandhotbutteredtoastIsupposewellhavehimsittinguplikethekingofthecountrypumpingthewrongendofthespoonupanddowninhiseggwhereverhelearnedthatfromandIlovetohearhimfallingupthestairsofamorningwiththecupsrattlingonthetrayandthenplaywiththecatsherubsupagainstyouforherownsakeIwonderhasshefleasshesasbadasawomanalwayslickingandleckingbutIhatetheirclawsIwonderdotheyseeanythingthatwecantstaringlikethatwhenshesitsatthetopofthestairssolongandlisteningasIwaitalwayswhatarobbertoothatlovelyfreshplaiceIboughtIthinkIllgetabitoffishtomorrowortodayisitFridayyesIwillwithsomeblancmangewithblackcurrantjamlikelongagonotthose2lbpotsofmixedplumandapplefromtheLondonandNewcastleWilliamsandWoodsgoestwiceasfaronlyforthebonesIhatethoseeelscodyesIllgetanicepieceofcodImalwaysgettingenoughfor3forgettinganywayImsickofthateverlastingbutchersmeatfromBuckleysloinchopsandlegbeefandribsteakandscragofmuttonandcalfsplucktheverynameisenoughorapicnicsupposeweallgave5/-eachandorlethimpayandinvitesomeotherwomanforhimwhoMrsFleminganddriveouttothefurryglenorthestrawberrybedswedhavehimexaminingallthehorsestoenailsfirstlikehedoeswiththelettersnonotwithBoylanthereyeswithsomecoldvealandhammixedsandwichestherearelittlehousesdownatthebottomofthebanksthereonpurposebutitsashotasblazeshesaysnotabankholidayanyhowIhatethoseruckofMaryAnncoalboxesoutforthedayWhitMondayisacurseddaytoonowonderthatbeebithimbettertheseasidebutIdneveragaininthislifegetintoaboatwithhimafterhimatBraytellingtheboatmenheknewhowtorowifanyoneaskedcouldheridethesteeplechaseforthegoldcuphedsayyesthenitcameontogetroughtheoldthingcrookedingaboutandtheweightalldownmysidetellingmetopulltherightreinsnowpulltheleftandthetideallswampinginfloodsinthroughthroughthebottomandhisoarslippingoutofthestirrupitsamercywewerentalldrownedhecanswimofcoursemenotheresnodangerwhatsoeverkeepyourselfcalminhisflanneltrousersIdliketohavetatteredthemdownoffhimbeforeallthepeopleandgivehimwhatthatonecallsflagellatetillhewasblackandbluedohimallthegoodintheworldonlyforthatlongnosedchapIdontknowwhoheiswiththatotherbeautyBurkeoutoftheCityArmshotelwastherespyingaroundasusualontheslipalwayswherehewasntwantediftherewasarowonyouvomitabetterfacetherewasnolovelostbetweenusthatsIconsolationIwonderwhatkindisthatbookhebroughtmeSweetsofSinbyagentlemanoffashionsomeotherMrdeKockIsupposethepeoplegavehimthatnicknamegoingaboutwithhistubefromonewomantoanotherIcouldntevenchangemynewwhiteshoesallruinedwiththesaltwaterandthehatIhadwiththatfeatherallblowyandtossedonmehowannoyingandprovokingbecausethesmelloftheseaexcitedmeofcoursethesardinesandthebreaminCatalanbayroundthebackoftherocktheywerefineallsilverinthefishermensbasketsoldLuiginearahundredtheysaidcamefromGenoaandthetalloldchapwiththeearringsIdontlikeamanyouhavetoclimbuptogogetatIsupposetheyrealldeadandrottenlongagobesidesIdontlikebeingaloneinthisbigbarracksofaplaceatnightIsupposeIllhavetoputupwithitIneverbroughtabitofsaltinevenwhenwemovedintheconfusionmusicalacademyhewasgoingtomakeonthefirstfloordrawingroomwithabrassplateorBloomsprivatehotelhesuggestedgoandruinhimselfaltogetherthewayhisfatherdiddowninEnnislikeallthethingshetoldfatherhewasgoingtodoandmebutIsawthroughhimtellingmeallthelovelyplaceswecouldgoforthehoneymoonVenicebymoonlightwiththegondolasandthelakeofComohehadapicturecutoutofsomepaperofandmandolinesandlanternsOhowniceIsaidwhateverIlikedhewasgoingtodoimmediatelyifnotsoonerwillyoubemymanwillyoucarrymycanheoughttogetaleathermedalwithaputtyrimforalltheplansheinventsthenleavingusherealldayyouneverknowwhatoldbeggaratthedoorforacrustwithhislongstorymightbeatrampandputhisfootinthewaytopreventmeshuttingitlikethatpictureofthathardenedcriminalhewascalledinLloydsWeeklyNews20yearsinjailthenhecomesoutandmurdersanoldwomanforhermofleyimaginehispoorwifeormotherorwhoeversheissuchafaceyoudrunmilesawayfromIcouldntresteasytillIboltedallthedoorsandwindowstomakesurebutitsworseagainbeinglockeduplikeinaprisonoramadhousetheyoughttobeallshotorthecatofninetailsabigbrutelikethatthatwouldattackapooroldwomantomurderherinherbedIdcutthemoffsoIwouldnotthathedbemuchusestillbetterthannothingthenightIwassureIheardburglarsinthekitchenandhewentdowninhisshirtwithacandleandapokerasifhewaslookingforamouseaswhiteasasheetfrightenedoutofhiswitsmakingasmuchnoiseashepossiblycouldfortheburglarsbenefitthereisntmuchtostealindeedtheLordknowsstillitsthefeelingespeciallynowwithMillyawaysuchanideaforhimtosendthegirldowntheretolearntotakephotographsonaccountofhisgrandfatherinsteadofsendinghertoSkerrysacademywhereshedhavetolearnnotlikemegettingallatschoolonlyheddoathinglikethatallthesameonaccountofmeandBoylanthatswhyhediditImcertainthewayheplotsandplanseverythingoutIcouldntturnroundwithherintheplacelatelyunlessIboltedthedoorfirstgavemethefidgetscominginwithoutknockingfirstwhenI
putthechairagainstthedoorjustasIwaswashingmyselftherebelowwiththeglovegetonyournervesthendoingthelogladyalldayputherinaglasscasewithtwoatatimetolookatherifheknewshebrokeoffthehandoffthatlittlegimcrackstatuewithherroughnessandcarelessnessbeforesheleftthatIgotthatlittleItalianboytomendsothatyoucantseethejoinfor2shillingswouldnteventeemthepotatoesforyouofcourseshesrightnottoruinherhandsInoticedhewasalwaystalkingtoherlatelyatthetableexplainingthingsinthepaperandshepretendingtounderstandslyofcoursethatcomesfromhissideofthehouseandhelpingherintohercoatbutiftherewasanythingwrongwithheritsmeshedtellnothimheCantsayIpretendthingscanheImtoohonestasamatteroffactIsupposehethinksImfinishedoutandlaidontheshelfwellImnotnonoranythinglikeitwellseewellseenowsheswellonforflirtingtoowithTomDevanstwosonsimitatingmewhistlingwiththoserompsofMurraygirlscallingforhercanMillycomeoutpleaseshesingreatdemandtopickwhattheycanoutofherroundinNelsonstreetridingHarryDevansbicycleatnightitsaswellhesentherwheresheisshewasjustgettingoutofboundswantingtogoontheskatingrinkandsmokingtheircigarettesthroughtheirnoseIsmeltitoffherdresswhenIwasbitingoffthethreadofthebuttonIsewedontothebottomofherjacketshecouldnthidemuchfrommeItellyouonlyIoughtnttohavestitcheditanditonheritbringsapartingandthelastplumpuddingtoosplitin2halvesseeitcomesoutnomatterwhattheysayhertongueisabittoolongformytasteyourblouseisopentoolowshesaystomethepancallingthekettleblackbottomandIhadtotellherno!tocockherlegsuplikethatonshowonthewindowsillbeforeallthepeoplepassingtheyalllookatherlikemewhenIwasherageofcourseanyoldraglookswellonyouthenagreattouchmenottooinherownwayattheOnlyWayintheTheatreroyaltakeyourfootawayoutofthatIhatepeopletouchingmeafraidofherlifeIdcrushherskirtwiththepleatsalotofthattouchingmustgoonintheatresinthecrushinthedarktheyrealwaystryingtowiggleuptoyouthatfellowinthepitatthepitattheGaietyforBeerbohmTreeinTrilbythelasttimeIllevergotheretobesquashedlikethatforanyTrilbyorherbarebumeverytwominutestippingmethereandlookingawayhesabitdaftIthinkIsawhimaftertryingtogetneartwostylishdressedladiesoutsideSwitzerswindowatthesamelittlegameIrecognisedhimonthemomentthefaceandeverythingbuthedidn’tremembermeandshedidntevenwantmetokissherattheBroadstonegoingawaywellIhopeshellgetsomeonetodanceattendanceonherthewayIdidwhenshewasdownwiththemumpsherglandsswollenwheresthisandwheresthatofcourseshecantfeelanythingdeepyetInevercameproperlytillIwaswhat22
orsoitwentintothewrongplacealwaysonlytheusualgirlsnonsenseandgigglingthatConnyConnollywritingtoherinwhiteinkonblackpapersealedwithsealingwaxthoughsheclappedwhenthecurtaincamedownbecausehelookedsohandsomethenwehadMartinHarveyforbreakfastdinnerandsupperIthoughttomyselfafterwardsitmustberealloveifamangivesuphislifeforherthatwayfornothingIsupposetherearefewmenlikethatleftitshardtobelieveinitthoughunlessitreallyhappenedtomethemajorityofthemwithnotaparticleofloveintheirnaturestofindtwopeoplelikethatnowadaysfullupofeachotherthatwouldfeelthesamewayasyoudotheyreusuallyabitfoolishintheheadhisfathermusthavebeenabitqueertogoandpoisonhimselfafterherstillpooroldmanIsupposehefeltlostalwaysmakinglovetomythingstoothefewoldragsIhavewantingtoputherhairupat15mypowdertooonlyruinherskinonhershestimeenoughforthatallherlifeafterofcourseshesrestlessknowingshesprettywithherlipssoredapitytheywontstaythatwayIwastoobuttheresnousegoingtothefairwiththethingansweringmelikeafishwomanwhenIaskedtogoforahalfastoneofpotatoesthedaywemetMrsJoeGallaheratthetrottingmatchesandshepretendednottoseeusinhertrapwithFrierythesolicitorwewerentgrandenoughtillIgaveher2damnfinecracksacrosstheearforherselftakethatnowforansweringmelikethatandthatforyourimpudenceshehadmethatexasperatedofcoursecontradictingIwasbadtemperedtoobecausehowwasittherewasaweedintheteaorIdidntsleepthenightbeforecheeseIatewasitandItoldheroverandoveragainnottoleaveknivescrossedlikethatbecauseshehasnobodytocommandherasshesaidherselfwellifhedoesntcorrectherfaithIwillthatwasthelasttimesheturnedontheteartapIwasjustlikethatmyselftheydarentordermeabouttheplaceitshisfaultofcoursehavingthetwoofusslavinghereinsteadofgettinginawomanlongagoamIevergoingtohaveaproperservantagainofcoursethenshedseehimcomingIdhavetoletherknoworshedrevengeitarenttheyanuisancethatoldMrsFlemingyouhavetobewalkingroundafterherputtingthethingsintoherhandssneezingandfartingintothepotswellofcourseshesoldshecanthelpitagoodjobIfoundthatrottenoldsmellydishcloththatgotlostbehindthedresserIknewtherewassomethingandopenedthewindowtoletoutthesmellbringinginhisfriendstoentertainthemlikethenighthewalkedhomewithadogifyoupleasethatmighthavebeenmadespeciallySimonDedalussonhisfathersuchacriticiserwithhisglassesupwithhistallhatonhimatthecricketmatchandagreatbigholeinhissockonethinglaughingattheotherandhissonthatgotallthoseprizesforwhateverhewonthemintheintermediateimagineclimbingovertherailingsifanybodysawhimthatknewuswonderhedidnttearabigholeinhisgrandfuneraltrousersasiftheonenaturegavewasntenoughforanybodyhawkinghimdownintothedirtyoldkitchennowisherightinhisheadIaskpityitwasn’twashingdaymyoldpairofdrawersmighthavebeenhanginguptooonthelineonexhibitionforallhedevercarewiththeironmouldmarkthestupidoldbundleburnedonthemhemightthinkwassomethingelseandsheneverevenrendereddownthefatItoldherandnowshesgoingsuchasshewasonaccountofherparalysedhusbandgettingworsetheresalwayssomethingwrongwiththemdiseaseortheyhavetogounderanoperationorifitsnotthatitsdrinkandhebeatsherIllhavetohuntaroundagainforsomeoneeverydayIgetuptheressomenewthingonsweetGodsweetGodwellwhenImstretchedoutdeadinmygraveIsupposeIllhavesomepeaceIwanttogetupaminuteifImletwaitOJesuswaityesthatthinghascomeonmeyesnowwouldntthatafflictyouofcourseallthepokingandrootingandploughinghehadupinmenowwhatamItodoFridaySaturdaySundaywouldntthatpesterthesouloutofabodyunlesshelikesitsomemendoGodknowstheresalwayssomethingwrongwithus5daysevery3or4
weeksusualmonthlyauctionisntitsimplysickeningthatnightitcameonmelikethattheoneandonlytimewewereinaboxthatMichaelGunngavehimtoseeMrsKendalandherhusbandattheGaietysomethinghedidaboutinsuranceforhimDrimmiesIwasfittobetiedthoughIwouldntgiveinwiththatgentlemanoffashionstaringdownatmewithhisglassesandhimtheothersideofmetalkingaboutSpinozaandhissoulthatsdeadIsupposemillionsofyearsagoIsmiledthebestIcouldallinaswampleaningforwardasifIwasinterestedhavingtosititoutthentothelasttagIwontforgetthatwifeofScarliinahurrysupposedtobeafastplayaboutadulterythatidiotinthegalleryhissingthewomanadulteressheshoutedIsupposehewentandhadawomaninthenextlanerunningroundallthebackwaysaftertomakeupforitIwishhehadwhatIhadthenhedbooIbetthecatitselfisbetteroffthanushavewetoomuchbloodupinusorwhatOpatienceaboveitspouringoutofmeliketheseaanyhowhedidntmakemepregnantasbigasheisIdontwanttoruinthecleansheetsthecleanlinenIworebroughtitontoodamnitdamnitandtheyalwayswanttoseeastainonthebedtoknowyoureavirginforthemallthatstroublingthemtheyresuchfoolstooyoucouldbeawidowordivorced40timesoveradaubofredinkwoulddoorblackberryjuicenothatstoo