Ontheotherhandwhatincensedhimmoreinwardlywastheblatantjokesofthecabmenandsoon，whopasseditalloffasajest，laughingimmoderately，pretendingtounderstandeverything，thewhyandthewherefore，andinrealitynotknowingtheirownminds，itbeingacaseforthetwopartiesthemselvesunlessitensuedthatthelegitimatehusbandhappenedtobeapartytoitowingtosomeanonymousletterfromtheusualboyJones，whohappenedtocomeacrossthematthecrucialmomentinalovingpositionlockedinoneanother’sarmsdrawingattentiontotheirillicitproceedingsandleadinguptoadomesticrumpusandtheerringfaironebeggingforgivenessofherlordandmasteruponherkneesandpromisingtosevertheconnectionandnotreceivehisvisitsanymoreifonlytheaggrievedhusbandwouldoverlookthematterandletbygonesbebygones，withtearsinhereyes，thoughpossiblywithhertongueinherfaircheekatthesametime，asquitepossiblytherewereseveralothers。Hepersonally，beingofascepticalbias，believed，anddidn’tmakethesmallestbonesaboutsayingsoeither，thatman，ormenintheplural，werealwayshangingaroundonthewaitinglistaboutalady，evensupposingshewasthebestwifeintheworldandtheygotonfairlywelltogetherforthesakeofargument，when，neglectingherduties，shechosetobetiredofweddedlife，andwasonforalittleflutterinpolitedebaucherytopresstheirattentionsonherwithimproperintent，theupshotbeingthatheraffectionscentredonanother，thecauseofmanyliaisonsbetweenstillattractivemarriedwomengettingonforfairandfortyandyoungermen，nodoubtasseveralfamouscasesoffeminineinfatuationproveduptothehilt。
Itwasathousandpitiesayoungfellowblessedwithanallowanceofbrains，ashisneighbourobviouslywas，shouldwastehisvaluabletimewithprofligatewomen，whomightpresenthimwithanicedosetolasthimhislifetime。InthenatureofsingleblessednesshewouldonedaytakeuntohimselfawifewhenMissRightcameonthescenebutintheinterimladies’societywasaconditiosinequanonthoughhehadthegravestpossibledoubts，notthathewantedinthesmallesttopumpStephenaboutMissFergusonwhowasverypossiblytheparticularlodestarwhobroughthimdowntoIrishtownsoearlyinthemorning，astowhetherhewouldfindmuchsatisfactionbaskingintheboyandgirlcourtshipideaandthecompanyofsmirkingmisseswithoutapennytotheirnamesbi-ortri-weeklywiththeorthodoxpreliminarycanterofcomplimentpayingandwalkingoutleadinguptofondlovers’waysandflowersandchocs。Tothinkofhimhouseandhomeless，rookedbysomelandladyworsethananystepmother，wasreallytoobadathisage。Thequeersuddenlythingshepoppedoutwithattractedtheeldermanwhowasseveralyearstheother’sseniororlikehisfather。Butsomethingsubstantialhecertainlyoughttoeat，wereitonlyaneggflipmadeonunadulteratedmaternalnutrimentor，failingthat，thehomelyHumptyDumptyboiled。
Atwhato’clockdidyoudine？hequestionedoftheslimformandtiredthoughunwrinkledface。
Sometimeyesterday，Stephensaid。
Yesterday，exclaimedBloomtillheremembereditwasalreadytomorrow，Friday。Ah，youmeanit’saftertwelve！
Thedaybeforeyesterday，Stephensaid，improvingonhimself。
Literallyastoundedatthispieceofintelligence，Bloomreflected。
Thoughtheydidn’tseeeyetoeyeineverything，acertainanalogytheresomehowwas，asifboththeirmindsweretravelling，sotospeak，intheonetrainofthought。AthisagewhendabblinginpoliticsroughlysomescoreofyearspreviouslywhenhehadbeenaquasiaspiranttoparliamentaryhonoursintheBuckshotFosterdayshetoorecollectedinretrospectwhichwasasourceofkeensatisfactioninitselfhehadasneakingregardforthosesameultraideas。Forinstance，whentheevictedtenants’question，thenatitsfirstinception，bulkedlargelyinpeople’smindsthough，itgoeswithoutsaying，notcontributingacopperorpinninghisfaithabsolutelytoitsdictums，someofwhichwouldn’texactlyholdwater，heattheoutsetinprinciple，atallevents，wasinthoroughsympathywithpeasantpossession，asvoicingthetrendofmodernOpinion，apartiality，however，which，realisinghismistake，hewassubsequentlypartiallycuredof，andevenwastwittedwithgoingastepfurtherthanMichaelDavittinthestrikingviewsheatonetimeinculcatedasabacktothelander，whichwasonereasonhestronglyresentedtheinnuendoputuponhiminsobarefacedafashionatthegatheringoftheclansinBarneyKiernan’ssothathe，thoughoftenconsiderablymisunderstoodandtheleastpugnaciousofmortals，beitrepeated，departedfromhiscustomaryhabittogivehimmetaphoricallyoneinthegizzardthoughsofaraspoliticsthemselveswereconcerned，hewasonlytooconsciousofthecasualtiesinvariablyresultingfrompropagandaanddisplaysofmutualanimosityandthemiseryandsufferingitentailedasaforegoneconclusiononfineyoungfellows，chiefly，destructionofthefittest，inaword。
Anyhow，uponweighingtheprosandcons，gettingonforoneasitwas，itwashightimetoberetiringforthenight。Thecruxwasitwasabitriskytobringhimhomeaseventualitiesmightpossiblyensuesomebodyhavingatemperofherownsometimesandspoilthehashaltogetherasonthenighthemisguidedlybroughthomeadogbreedunknownwithalamepaw，notthatthecaseswereeitheridenticalorthereverse，thoughhehadhurthishandtoo，toOntarioTerrace，asheverydistinctlyremembered，havingbeenthere，sotospeak。OntheotherhanditwasaltogetherfarandawaytoolatefortheSandymountorSandycovesuggestionsothathewasinsomeperplexityastowhichofthetwoalternatives……Everythingpointedtothefactthatitbehovedhimtoavailhimselftothefulloftheopportunity，allthingsconsidered。Hisinitialimpressionwasthathewasabitstandoffishornotovereffusivebutitgrewonhimsomeway。
Foronethinghemightn’twhatyoucalljumpattheidea，ifapproached，andwhatmostlyworriedhimwashedidn’tknowhowtoleaduptoitorworditexactly，supposinghedidentertaintheproposal，asitwouldaffordhimverygreatpersonalpleasureifhewouldallowhimtohelptoputcoininhiswayorsomewardrobe，iffoundsuitable。Atalleventshewoundupbyconcluding，eschewingforthenoncehideboundprecedent，acupofEpps’scocoaandashakedownforthenightplustheuseofarugortwoandovercoatdoubledintoapillow。Atleasthewouldbeinsafehandsandaswarmasatoastonatrivet。Hefailedtoperceiveanyveryvastamountofharminthatalwayswiththeprovisonorumpusofanysortwaskickedup。Amovehadtobemadebecausethatmerryoldsoul，thegrasswidowerinquestion，whoappearedtobegluedtothespot，didn’tappearinanyparticularhurrytowendhiswayhometohisdearlybelovedQueenstownanditwashighlylikelysomesponger’sbawdyhouseofretiredbeautiesoffSheriffstreetlowerwouldbethebestcluetothatequivocalcharacter’swhereaboutsforafewdaystocome，alternatelyrackingtheirfeelingsthemermaids’withsixchamberrevolveranecdotesvergingonthetropicalcalculatedtofreezethemarrowofanybody’sbonesandmaulingtheirlargesizedcharmsbetweenwhileswithroughandtumblegustototheaccompanimentoflargepotationsofpotheenandtheusualblarneyabouthimselfforastowhoheinrealitywasletXXequalmyrightnameandaddress，asMrAlgebraremarkspassim。AtthesametimeheinwardlychuckledoverhisreparteetothebloodandounschampionabouthisGodbeingajew。Peoplecouldputupwithbeingbittenbyawolfbutwhatproperlyriledthemwasabitefromasheep。ThemostvulnerablepointtoooftenderAchilles，yourGodwasajew，becausemostlytheyappearedtoimaginehecamefromCarrick-on-ShannonorsomewhereaboutinthecountySligo。
Ipropose，ourheroeventuallysuggested，aftermaturereflectionwhileprudentlypocketingherphoto，asit’sratherstuffyhere，youjustcomewithmeandtalkthingsover。Mydiggingsarequitecloseinthevicinity。
Youcan’tdrinkthatstuff。Wait，I’lljustpaythislot。
Thebestplanclearlybeingtoclearout，theremainderbeingplainsailing，hebeckoned，whileprudentlypocketingthephoto，tothekeeperoftheshanty，whodidn’tseemto……
Yes，that’sthebest，heassuredStephen，towhomforthematterofthatBrazenHeadorhimoranywhereelsewasallmoreorless。
AllkindsofUtopianplanswereflashingthroughhisBloom’sbusybrain。Educationthegenuinearticle，literature，journalism，prizetitbits，uptodatebilling，hydrosandconcerttoursinEnglishwateringresortspackedwiththeatres，turningmoneyaway，duetsinItalianwiththeaccentperfectlytruetonatureandaquantityofotherthings，nonecessityofcoursetotelltheworldandhiswifefromthehousetopsaboutitandasliceofluck。Anopeningwasallwaswanted。Becausehemorethansuspectedhehadhisfather’svoicetobankhishopesonwhichitwasquiteonthecardshehadsoitwouldbejustaswell，bythewaynoharm，totrailtheconversationinthedirectionofthatparticularredherringjustto。
Thecabbyreadoutofthepaperhehadgotholdofthattheformerviceroy，earlCadogan，hadpresidedatthecabdrivers’associationdinnerinLondonsomewhere。Silencewithayawnortwoaccompaniedthisthrillingannouncement。
ThentheoldspecimeninthecornerwhoappearedtohavesomesparkofvitalityleftreadoutthatSirAnthonyMacDonnellhadleftEustonforthechiefsecretary’slodgeorwordstothateffect。Towhichabsorbingpieceofintelligenceechoansweredwhy-Giveusasquintatthatliterature，grandfather，theancientmarinerputin，manifestingsomenaturalimpatience。
Andwelcome，answeredtheelderlypartythusaddressed。
Thesailorluggedoutfromacasehehadapairofgreenishgoggleswhichheveryslowlyhookedoverhisnoseandbothears。
Areyoubadintheeyes？thesympatheticpersonagelikethetownclerkqueried。
Why，answeredtheseafarerwiththetartanbeard，whoseeminglywasabitofaliterarycoveinhisownsmallway，staringoutofsea-greenportholesasyoumightwelldescribethemas，Iusesgogglesreading。SandintheRedSeadonethat。OnetimeIcouldreadabookinthedark，mannerofspeaking。TheArabianNights’EntertainmentwasmyfavouriteandRedasaRoseisShe。
ThereuponhepawedthejournalopenandporeduponLordonlyknowswhat，founddrownedortheexploitsofKingWillow，IremongerhavingmadeahundredandsomethingsecondwicketnotoutforNotts，duringwhichtimecompletelyregardlessofIrethekeeperwasintenselyoccupiedlooseninganapparentlyneworsecondhandbootwhichmanifestlypinchedhim，ashemutteredagainstwhoeveritwassoldit，allofthemwhoweresufficientlyawakeenoughtobepickedoutbytheirfacialexpressions，thatistosay，eithersimplylookingonglumlyorpassingatrivialremark。
TocutalongstoryshortBloom，graspingthesituation，wasthefirsttorisetohisfeetsoasnottooutstaytheirwelcomehavingfirstandforemost，beingasgoodashiswordthathewouldfootthebillfortheoccasion，takenthewiseprecautiontounobtrusivelymotiontominehostasapartingshotascarcelyperceptiblesignwhentheotherswerenotlookingtotheeffectthattheamountduewasforthcoming，makingagrandtotaloffourpencetheamounthedepositedunobtrusivelyinfourcoppers，literallythelastoftheMohicanshehavingpreviouslyspottedontheprintedpricelistforallwhorantoreadoppositetohiminunmistakablefigures，coffee2d。，confectionerydo。，andhonestlywellworthtwicethemoneyonceinaway，asWetherupusedtoremark-Come，hecounselled，toclosethesé；ance。
Seeingthattheruseworkedandthecoastwasclear，theylefttheshelterorshantytogetherandtheé；litesocietyofoilskinandcompanywhomnothingshortOfanearthquakewouldmoveoutoftheirdolcefarniente。Stephen，whoconfessedtostillfeelingpoorlyandfaggedout，pausedatthe，foramoment……thedoorto……
OnethingIneverunderstood，hesaid，tobeoriginalonthespurofthemoment，whytheyputtablesupsidedownatnight，ImeanchairsupsidedownonthetablesIncafes。
TowhichimpromptutheneverfailingBloomrepliedwithoutamoment’shesitation，sayingstraightoff：
Tosweepthefloorinthemorning。
Sosayingheskippedaroundnimbly，consideringfrankly，atthesametimeapologetic，togetonhiscompanion’sright，ahabitofhis，bytheby，therightsidebeing，inclassicalidiom，histenderAchilles。ThenightairwascertainlynowatreattobreathethoughStephenwasabitweakonhispins。
Itwilltheairdoyougood，Bloomsaid，meaningalsothewalk，inamoment。Theonlythingistowalkthenyou’llfeeladifferentman。
It’snotfar。Leanonme。
AccordinglyhepassedhisleftarminStephen’srightandledhimonaccordingly。
Yes，Stephensaiduncertainly，becausehethoughthefeltastrangekindoffleshofadifferentmanapproachhim，sinewlessandwobblyandallthat。
Anyhow，theypassedthesentryboxwithstones，brazier，etc。wherethemunicipalsupernumerary，ex-Gumley，wasstilltoallintentsandpurposeswrappedinthearmsofMurphy，astheadagehasit，dreamingoffreshfieldsandpasturesnew。Andaproposofcoffinofstones，theanalogywasnotatallbad，asitwasinfactastoningtodeathonthepartofseventytwooutofeightyoddconstituenciesthatrattedatthetimeofthesplitandchieflythebelaudedpeasantclass，probablytheselfsameevictedtenantshehadputintheirholdings。