PRIVATECARRToCissy。Washeinsultingyouwhilemeandhimwashavingapiss？
LORDTENNYSONInUnionJackblazerandcricketflannels，bareheaded，flowingbearded。Their’snottoreasonwhy。
PRIVATECOMPTONBiffhim，Harry。
STEPHENToPrivateCompton。Idon’tknowyournamebutyouarequiteright。DoctorSwiftsaysonemaninarmourwillbeattenmenintheirshirts。Shirtissynechdoche。Partforthewhole。
CISSYCAFFREYTothecrowd。No，Iwaswiththeprivate。
STEPHENAmiably。Whynot？Theboldsoldierboy。Inmyopinioneveryladyforexample……
PRIVATECARRHiscapawry，advancingtoStephen。Say，howwoulditbe，governor，ifIwastobashinyourjaw？
STEPHENLooksupinthesky。How？Veryunpleasant。Nobleartofself-pretence。Personally，Idetestaction。Hewaveshishand
Handhurtsmeslightly。Enfin，cesontvosoignons。
ToCissyCaffrey。Sometroubleisonhere。Whatisit，precisely？
DOLLYGRAYFromherbalconywavesherhandkerchiefgivingthesignoftheheroineofJericho。Rahab。Cook’sson，goodbye。SafehometoDolly。Dreamofthegirlyouleftbehindandshewilldreamofyou。
Thesoldiersturntheirswimmingeyes。
BLOOMElbowingthroughthecrowdplucksStephen’ssleevevigorously。
Comenow，professor，thatcarmaniswaiting。
STEPHENTurns。Eh？HedisengageshimselfWhyshouldInotspeaktohimortoanyhumanbeingwhowalksuprightuponthisoblateorange？Hepointshisfinger。I’mnotafraidofwhatIcantalktoifIseehiseye。Retainingtheperpendicular。
Hestaggersapaceback。
BLOOMProppinghim。Retainyourown。
STEPHENLaughsemptily。Mycentreofgravityisdisplaced。
Ihaveforgottenthetrick。Letussitdownsomewhereanddiscuss。Struggleforlifeisthelawofexistencebutmodernphilirenists，notablythetsarandthekingofEngland，haveinventedarbitration。Hetapshisbrow。
ButinhereitisImustkillthepriestandtheking。
BIDDYTHECLAPDidyouhearwhattheprofessorsaid？He’saprofessoroutofthecollege。
CUNTYKATEIdid。Iheardthat。
BIDDYTHECLAPHeexpresseshimselfwithmuchmarkedrefinementofphraseology。
CUNTYKATEIndeed，yes。Andatthesametimewithsuchappositetrenchancy。
PRIVATECARRPullshimselffreeandcomesforward。What’sthatyou’resayingaboutmyking？
EdwardtheSeventhappearsinanarchway。HewearsawhitejerseyonwhichanimageoftheSacredHeartisstitched，withtheinsigniaofGarterandThistle，GoldenFleece，ElephantofDenmark，Skinners’andProbyns’
horse，Lincoln’sInnbencherandancientandhonourableartillerycompanyofMassachusetts。Hesucksaredjujube。Heisrobedasagrandelectperfectandsublimemasonwithtrowelandapron，markedmadeinGermany。Inhislefthandheholdsaplasterersbucketonwhichisprinted：Dé；fensed’uriner。Aroarofwelcomegreetshim。
EDWARDTHESEVENTHSlowly，solemnlybutindistinctly。Peace，perfectpeace。Foridentificationbucketinmyhand。Cheerio，boys。Heturnstohissubjects。Wehavecomeheretowitnessacleanstraightfightandweheartilywishbothmenthebestofgoodluck。Mahakmakaraback。
HeshakeshandswithPrivateCarr，PrivateCompton，Stephen，BloomandLynch。Generalapplause。EdwardtheSeventhliftsthebucketgraciouslyinacknowledgement。
PRIVATECARRToStephen。Sayitagain。
STEPHENNervous，friendly，pullshimselfup。Iunderstandyourpointofview，thoughIhavenokingmyselfforthemoment。Thisistheageofpatentmedicine。Adiscussionisdifficultdownhere。Butthisisthepoint。Youdieforyourcountry，suppose。HeplaceshisarmonPrivateCarr’ssleeve。NotthatIwishitforyou。ButIsay：Letmycountrydieforme。Uptothepresentithasdoneso。Idon’twantittodie。Damndeath。Longlivelife！
EDWARDTHESEVENTHLevitatesoverheapsofslaininthegarbandwiththehaloofJokingJesus，awhitejujubeinhisphosphorescentface。Mymethodsarenewandarecausingsurprise。
TomaketheblindseeIthrowdustintheireyes。STEPHENKingsandunicorns！Hefallsbackapace。Comesomewhereandwe’ll……Whatwasthatgirlsaying？……
PRIVATECOMPTONEh，Harry，givehimakickintheknackers。StickoneintoJerry。
BLOOMTotheprivates，softly。Hedoesn’tknowwhathe’ssaying。
Takingalittlemorethanisgoodforhim。Absinthe，thegreeneyedmonster。
Iknowhim。He’sagentleman，apoet。It’sallright。
STEPHENNods，smilingandlaughing。Gentleman，patriot，scholarandjudgeofimpostors。
PRIVATECARRIdon’tgiveabuggerwhoheis。PRIVATECOMPTONWedon’tgiveabuggerwhoheis。
STEPHENIseemtoannoythem。Greenragtoabull。
KevinEganofParisinblackSpanishtasselledshirtandpeep-o’-dayboyshatsignstoStephen。
KEVINEGANH’lo。Bonjour！Thevieilleogressewiththedentsjaunes。
PatriceEganpeepsfrombehind，hisrabbitfacenibblingaquinceleaf。
PATRICESocialiste！
DONEMILEPATRIZIOFRANZRUPERTPOPEHENNESSYInmedievalhauberk，twowildgeesevolantonhishelm，withnobleindignationpointsamailedhandagainsttheprivates。Werethoseeykestofootboden，biggrandporcosofjohnyellowstodoscoveredofgravy！
BLOOMToStephen。Comehome。You’llgetintotrouble。
STEPHENSwaying。Idon’tavoidit。Heprovokesmyintelligence。
BIDDYTHECLAPOneimmediatelyobservesthatheisofpatricianlineage。
THEVIRAGOGreenabovethered，sayshe。WolfeTone。
THEBAWDThered’sasgoodasthegreen，andbetter。Upthesoldiers！
UpKingEdward！
AROUGHLaughs。Ay！HandsuptoDeWet。
THECITIZENWithahugeemeraldmufflerandshillelagh，calls。MaytheGodaboveSenddownacoveWithteethassharpasrazorsToslitthethroatOftheEnglishdogsThathangedourIrishleaders。THECROPPYBOYTheropenooseroundhisneck，gripesinhisissuingbowelswithbothhands。Ibearnohatetoalivingthing，Butlovemycountrybeyondtheking。RUMBOLD，DEMONBARBERAccompaniedbytwoblackmaskedassistants，advanceswithagladstonebagwhichheopens。Ladiesandgents，cleaverpurchasedbyMrsPearcytoslayMogg。KnifewithwhichVoisindismemberedthewifeofacompatriotandhidremainsinasheetinthecellar，theunfortunatefemale’sthroatbeingcutfromeartoear。PhialcontainingarsenicretrievedfromthebodyofMissBarrowwhichsentSeddontothegallows。
Hejerkstherope，theassistantsleapatthevictimslegsanddraghimdownward，grunting：thecroppyboystongueprotrudesviolently。
THECROPPYBOYHorhothohrayhorhother’shest。
Hegivesuptheghost。Aviolenterectionofthehangedsendsgoutsofspermspoutingthroughhisdeathclothesontothecobblestones。MrsBellingham，MrsYelvertonBarryandtheHonourableMrsMervynTalboysrushforwardwiththeirhandkerchiefstosopitup。
RUMBOLDI’mnearitmyself。Heundoesthenoose。Ropewhichhangedtheawfulrebel。TenshillingsatimeasappliedtoHisRoyalHighness。
Heplungeshisheadintothegapingbellyofthehangedanddrawsouthisheadagainclottedwithcoiledandsmokingentrails。Mypainfuldutyhasnowbeendone。Godsavetheking！
EDWARDTHESEVENTHDancesslowly，solemnly，rattlinghisbucketandsingswithsoftcontentment。Oncoronationday，oncoronationday，O，Won’tWehaveamerrytime，Drinkingwhisky，beerandwine！PRIVATECARRHere。Whatareyousayingaboutmyking？
STEPHENThrowsuphishands。O，thisistoomonotonous！Nothing。
Hewantsmymoneyandmylife，thoughwantmustbehismaster，forsomebrutishempireofhis。MoneyIhaven’t。Hesearcheshispocketsvaguely。
Gaveittosomeone。
PRIVATECARRWhowantsyourbleedingmoney？
STEPHENTriestomoveoff。WillsomeonetellmewhereIamleastlikelytomeetthesenecessaryevils？ç；asevoitaussià；Paris。NotthatI……ButbySaintPatrick！……
Thewomen’sheadscoalesce。OldGummyGrannyinsugarloafhatappearsseatedonatoadstool，thedeathflowerofthepotatoblightonherbreast。
STEPHENAha！Iknowyou，grammer！Hamlet，revenge！Theoldsowthateatsherfarrow！
OLDGUMMYGRANNYRockingtoandfro。Ireland’ssweetheart，thekingofSpain’sdaughter，alanna。Strangersinmyhouse，badmannerstothem！Shekeenswithbansheewoe。Ochone！Ochone！Silkofthekine！Shewails。YoumetwithpooroldIrelandandhowdoesshestand？
STEPHENHowdoIstandyou？Thehattrick！Where’sthethirdpersonoftheBlessedTrinity？SoggarthAroon？ThereverendCarrionCrow。
CISSYCAFFREYShrill。Stopthemfromfighting！
AROUGHOurmenretreated。
PRIVATECARRTuggingathisbelt。I’llwringtheneckofanybuggersaysawordagainstmyfuckingking。
BLOOMTerrified。Hesaidnothing。Notaword。Apuremisunderstanding。
THECITIZENEringobragh！
MajorTweedyandtheCitizenexhibittoeachothermedals，decorations，trophiesofwarwounds。Bothsalutewithfiercehostility。
PRIVATECOMPTONGoit，Harry。Dohimoneintheeye。He’saproboer。
STEPHENDidI？When？
BLOOMTotheredcoats。WefoughtforyouinSouthAfrica，Irishmissiletroops。Isn’tthathistory？RoyalDublinFusiliers。Honouredbyourmonarch。
THENAVVYStaggeringpast。O，yes。O，God，yes！O，makethekwawrakrowawr！O！Bo！
Casquedhalberdiersinarmourthrustforwardapenticeofguttedspearpoints。MajorTweedy，moustachedlikeTurkotheterrible，inbearskincapwithhackleplumeandaccoutrements，withepaulette，giltchevronsandsabretache，hisbreastbrightwithmedals，toestheline。Hegivesthepilgrimwarrior’ssignoftheknightstemplars。
MAJORTWEEDYGrowlsgruffly。Rorke’sDrift！Up，guards，andatthem！Mahalshalalhashbaz。
PRIVATECARRI’lldohimin。
PRIVATECOMPTONWavesthecrowdback。Fairplay，here。Makeableedingbutcher’sshopofthebugger。
MassedbandsblareGarryowenandGodsavetheking。
CISSYCAFFREYThey’regoingtofight。Forme！
CUNTYKATEThebraveandthefair。
BIDDYTHECLAPMethinksyonsableknightwilljoustitwiththebest。
CUNTYKATEBlushingdeeply。Nay，Madam。ThegulesdoubletandmerrySaintGeorgeforme！
STEPHENTheharlot’scryfromstreettostreetShallweaveoldIreland’swindingsheet。
PRIVATECARRLooseninghisbelt，shouts。I’llwringtheneckofanyfuckingbastardsaysawordagainstmybleedingfuckingking。
BLOOMShakesCissyCaffrey’sshoulders。Speak，you！Areyoustruckdumb？Youarethelinkbetweennationsandgenerations。Speak，woman，sacredlifegiver。
CISSYCAFFREYAlarmedseizesPrivateCarr’ssleeve。Amn’tIwithyou？Amn’tIyourgirl？Cissy’syourgirl。Shecries。Police！
STEPHENEcstatically，toCissyCaffrey。Whitethyfambles，redthyganAndthyquarronsdaintyis。VOICESPolice！