BLOOMDon’taskme。Ourmutualfaith。Pleasantsstreet。Ionlythoughtthehalfofthe……Iswearonmysacredoath……
BELLOPeremptorily。Answer。Repugnantwretch！Iinsistonknowing。
Tellmesomethingtoamuseme，smutorabloodygood-ghoststoryoralineofpoetry，quick，quick，quick！Where？How？Whattime？Withhowmany？I
giveyoujustthreeseconds。One！Two！Thr……！
BLOOMDocile，gurgles。Irererepugnosedinrerererepugnant……
BELLOImperiously。Ogetout，youskunk！Holdyourtongue！
Speakwhenyou’respokento。
BLOOMBows。Master！Mistress！Mantamer！
Heliftshisarms。Hisbanglebraceletsfall。
BELLOSatirically。Bydayyouwillsouseandbatoursmellingunderclothes，alsowhenweladiesareunwell，andswaboutourlatrineswithdresspinnedupandadishclouttiedtoyourtail。Won’tthatbenice？Heplacesarubyringonherfinger。Andtherenow！WiththisringItheeown。
Say，thankyou，mistress。
BLOOMThankyou，mistress。
BELLOYouwillmakethebeds，getmytubready，emptythepisspotsinthedifferentrooms，includingoldMrsKeogh’sthecook’s，asandyone。
Ay，andrinsethesevenofthemwell，mind，orlapituplikechampagne。
Drinkmepipinghot。Hop！youwilldanceattendanceorI’lllectureyouonyourmisdeeds，MissRuby，andspankyourbarebotrightwell，miss，withthehairbrush。You’llbetaughttheerrorofyourways。Atnightyourwellcreamedbraceletedhandswillwearfortythreebuttonglovesnewpowderedwithtalcandhavingdelicatelyscentedfingertips。Forsuchfavoursknightsofoldlaiddowntheirlives。Hechuckles。Myboyswillbenoendcharmedtoseeyousoladylike，thecolonel，aboveall。Whentheycomeherethenightbeforetheweddingtofondlemynewattractioningildedheels。First，I’llhaveagoatyoumyself。AmanIknowontheturfnamedCharlesAlbertaMarshIwasinbedwithhimjustnowandanothergentlemanoutoftheHanaperandPettyBagofficeisonthelookoutforamaidofallworkatashortknock。Swellthebust。Smile。Droopshoulders。Whatoffers？Hepoints。Forthatlottrainedbyownertofetchandcarry，basketinmouth。HebareshisarmandplungesitelbowdeepinBloom’svulva。There’sfinedepthforyou！What，boys？Thatgiveyouahardon？Heshoveshisarminabidder’sface。Here，wetthedeckandwipeitround！
ABIDDERAflorin！
Dillon’slacqueyringshishandbell。
AVOICEOneandeightpencetoomuch。
THELACQUEYBarang！
CHARLESALBERTAMARSHMustbevirgin。Goodbreath。Clean。
BELLOGivesarapwithhisgavel。Twobar。Rockbottomfigureandcheapattheprice。Fourteenhandshigh。Touchandexaminehispoints。
Handlehim。Thisdownyskin，thesesoftmuscles，thistenderflesh。IfIhadonlymygoldpiercerhere！Andquiteeasytomilk。Threenewlaidgallonsaday。Apurestockgetter，duetolaywithinthehour。Hissire’smilkrecordwasathousandgallonsofwholemilkinfortyweeks。Whoa，myjewel！Begup！Whoa！HebrandshisinitialConBloom’scroup。
So！WarrantedCohen！Whatadvanceontwobob，gentlemen？
ADARKVISAGEDMANIndisguisedaccent。Hoondertpuntsterlink。
VOICESSubdued。FortheCaliphHarounAlRaschid。
BELLOGaily。Right。Letthemallcome。Thescanty，daringlyshortskirt，ridingupatthekneetoshowapeepofwhitepantalette，isapotentweaponandtransparentstockings，emeraldgartered，withthelongstraightseamtrailingupbeyondtheknee，appealtothebetterinstinctsoftheblasé；manabouttown。LearnthesmoothmincingwalkonfourinchLouisXVheels，theGrecianbendwithprovokingcroup，thethighsfluescent，kneesmodestlykissing。Bringallyourpoweroffascinationtobearonthem。PandertotheirGomorrahanvices。
BLOOMBendshisblushingfaceintohisarmpitandsimperswithforefingerinmouth。O，Iknowwhatyou’rehintingatnow。
BELLOWhatelseareyougoodfor，animpotentthinglikeyou？Hestoopsand，peering，pokeswithhisfanrudelyunderthefatsuetfoldsofBloom’shaunches。Up！Up！Manxcat！Whathavewehere？Where’syourcurlyteapotgonetoorwhodockeditonyou，cockyolly？Sing，birdy，sing。It’saslimpasaboyofsix’sdoinghispoolybehindacart。Buyabucketorsellyourpump。Loudly。Canyoudoaman’sjob？
BLOOMEcclesStreet。
BELLOSarcastically。Iwouldn’thurtyourfeelingsfortheworldbutthere’samanofbrawninpossessionthere。Thetablesareturned，mygayyoungfellow！Heissomethinglikeafullgrownoutdoorman。Wellforyou，youmuff，ifyouhadthatweaponwithknobsandlumpsandwartsalloverit。Heshothisbolt，Icantellyou！Foottofoot，kneetoknee，bellytobelly，bubstobreast！He’snoeunuch。Ashockofredhairhehasstickingoutofhimbehindlikeafurzebush！Waitforninemonths，mylad！Holyginger，it’skickingandcoughingupanddowninhergutsalready！Thatmakesyouwild，don’tit？Touchesthespot？Hespitsincontempt。Spittoon！
BLOOMIwasindecentlytreated，I……informthepolice。Hundredpounds。
Unmentionable。I。
BELLOWouldifyoucould，lameduck。Adownpourwewant，notyourdrizzle。
BLOOMTodrivememad！Moll！Iforgot！Forgive！Moll！……We……Still……
BELLORuthlessly。No，LeopoldBloom，allischangedbywoman’swillsinceyouslepthorizontalinSleepyHollowyournightoftwentyyears。
Returnandsee。
OldSleepyHollowcallsoverthewold。
SLEEPYHOLLOWRipVanWinkle！RipVanWinkle！
BLOOMIntatteredmoccasinswitharustyfowlingpiece，tiptoeing，fingertipping，hishaggardbonybeardedfacepeeringthroughthediamondpanes，criesout。Iseeher！It’sshe！ThefirstnightatMatDillon’s！
Butthatdress，thegreen！Andherhairisdyedgoldandhe。
BELLOLaughsmockingly。That’syourdaughter，youowl，withaMullingarstudent。
MillyBloom，fairhaired，greenvested，slimsandalled，herbluescabintheseawindsimplyswirling，breaksfromthearmsofherloverandcalls，heryoungeyeswonderwide。
MILLYMy！It’sPapli！But。OPapli，howoldyou’vegrown！
BELLOChanged，eh？Ourwhatnot，ourwritingtablewhereweneverwrote，AuntHegarty’sarmchair，ourclassicreprintsofoldmasters。Amanandhismenfriendsarelivingthereinclover。TheCuckoos’Rest！Whynot？Howmanywomenhadyou，say？Followingthemupdarkstreets，flatfoot，excitingthembyyoursmotheredgrunts。What，youmaleprostitute？Blamelessdameswithparcelsofgroceries。Turnabout。Sauceforthegoose，mygander，O。
BLOOMThey……I
BELLOCuttingly。TheirheelmarkswillstamptheBrusselettecarpetyouboughtatWren’sauction。IntheirhorseplaywithMolltheromptofindthebuckfleainherbreechestheywilldefacethelittlestatueyoucarriedhomeintherainforartforart’ssake。Theywillviolatethesecretsofyourbottomdrawer。Pageswillbetornfromyourhandbookofastronomytomakethempipespills。AndtheywillspitinyourtenshillingbrassfenderfromHamptonLeedom’s。
BLOOMTenandsix。Theactoflowscoundrels。Letmego。Iwillreturn。
Iwillprove……
AVOICESwear！
Bloomclencheshisfistsandcrawlsforward，abowieknifebetweenhisteeth。
BELLOAsapayingguestorakeptman？Toolate。Youhavemadeyoursecondbestbedandothersmustlieinit。Yourepitaphiswritten。Youaredownandoutanddon’tyouforgetit，oldbean。
BLOOMJustice！AllIrelandversusone！Hasnobody……？
Hebiteshisthumb。
BELLODieandbedamnedtoyouifyouhaveanysenseofdecencyorgraceaboutyou。Icangiveyouarareoldwinethat’llsendyouskippingtohellandback。Signawillandleaveusanycoinyouhave。Ifyouhavenoneseeyoudamnwellgetit，stealit，robit！We’llburyyouinourshrubberyjakeswhereyou’llbedeadanddirtywitholdCuckCohen，mystepnephewImarried，thebloodyoldgoutyprocuratorandsodomitewithacrickinhisneck，andmyothertenorelevenhusbands，whateverthebuggers’nameswere，suffocatedintheonecesspool。Heexplodesinaloudphlegmylaugh。We’llmanureyou，MrFlower！Hepipesscoffingly。
Byby，Poldy！Byby，Papli！
BLOOMClaspshishead。Mywillpower！Memory！Ihavesinned！
Ihavesuff……Heweepstearlessly。
BELLOSneers。Crybabby！Crocodiletears！
Bloom，broken，closelyveiledforthesacrifice，sobs，hisfacetotheearth。Thepassingbellisheard。Darkshawledfiguresofthecircumcised，insackclothandashes，standbythewailingwall。M。Shulomowitz，JosephGoldwaterMosesHerzog，HarrisRosenberg，M。Moisel，J。Citron，MinnieWatchman，0。Mastiansky，theReverendLeopoldAbramovitz，Chazen。WithswayingarmstheywailinpneumaovertherecreantBloom。
THECIRCUMCISEDInadarkgutturalchantastheycastdeadseafruituponhim，noflowers。ShemaIsraelAdonaiElohenuAdonaiEchad。
VOICESSighing。Sohe’sgone。Ah，yes。Yes，indeed。Bloom？
Neverheardofhim。No？Queerkindofchap。There’sthewidow。Thatso？
Ah，yes。
Fromthesutteepyretheflameofgumcamphireascends。Thepallofincensesmokescreensanddisperses。Outofheroakframeanymphwithhairunbound，lightlycladinteabrownartcolours，descendsfromhergrottoandpassingunderinterlacingyews，standsoverBloom。
THEYEWSTheirleaveswhispering。Sister。Oursister。Ssh。
THENYMPHSoftly。Mortal！Kindly。Nay，dostnotweepest！
BLOOMCrawlsjellilyforwardundertheboughs，streakedbysunlight，withdignity。Thisposition。Ifeltitwasexpectedofme。Forceofhabit。
THENYMPHMortal！Youfoundmeinevilcompany，highkickers，costerpicnicmakers，pugilists，populargenerals，immoralpantoboysinfleshtightsandtheniftyshimmydancers，LaAuroraandKarini，musicalact，thehitofthecentury。Iwashiddenincheappinkpaperthatsmeltofrockoil。Iwassurroundedbythestalesmutofclubmen，storiestodisturbcallowyouth，adsfortransparencies，truedupdiceandbustpads，proprietaryarticlesandwhywearatrusswithtestimonialfromrupturedgentleman。
Usefulhintstothemarried。
BLOOMLiftsaturtleheadtowardsherlap。Wehavemetbefore。
Onanotherstar。
THENYMPHSadly。Rubbergoods。Neverrip。Brandassuppliedtothearistocracy。Corsetsformen。Icurefitsormoneyrefunded。UnsolicitedtestimonialsforProfessorWaldmann’swonderfulchestexuber。Mybustdevelopedfourinchesinthreeweeks，reportsMrsGusRublinwithphoto。
BLOOMYoumeanPhotoBits？
THENYMPHIdo。Youboremeaway，framedmeinoakandtinsel，setmeaboveyourmarriagecouch。Unseen，onesummereve，youkissedmeinfourplaces。Andwithlovingpencilyoushadedmyeyes，mybosomandmyshame。
BLOOMHumblykissesherlonghair。Yourclassiccurves，beautifulimmortal。Iwasgladtolookonyou，topraiseyou，athingofbeauty，almosttopray。
THENYMPHDuringdarknightsIheardyourpraise。
BLOOMQuickly。Yes，yes。YoumeanthatI……Sleeprevealstheworstsideofeveryone，childrenperhapsexcepted。IknowIfelloutofmybedorratherwaspushed。Steelwineissaidtocuresnoring。FortherestthereisthatEnglishinvention，pamphletofwhichIreceivedsomedaysago，incorrectlyaddressed。Itclaimstoaffordanoiselessinoffensivevent。Hesighs。’Twaseverthus。Frailty，thynameismarriage。
THENYMPHHerfingersinherears。Andwords。Theyarenotinmydictionary。
BLOOMYouunderstoodthem？
THEYEWSSsh。
THENYMPHCoversherfacewithherhand。WhathaveInotseeninthatchamber？Whatmustmyeyeslookdownon？
BLOOMApologetically。Iknow。Soiledpersonallinen，wrongsideupwithcare。Thequoitsareloose。FromGibraltarbylongsea，longago。
THENYMPHBendsherhead。Worse！Worse！
BLOOMReflectsprecautiously。Thatantiquatedcommode。Itwasn’therweight。Shescaledjustelevenstonenine。Sheputonninepoundsafterweaning。Itwasacrackandwantofglue。Eh？Andthatabsurdorangekeyedutensilwhichhasonlyonehandle。