Thenpresentlyweresumedourmonstrous，momentousdialogue。I
can’tnowmakeouthowlongthatdialoguewenton。Itspreaditself，Iknow，inheavyfragmentsovereitherthreedaysorfour。IremembermyselfgroupedwithMarion，talkingsittingonourbedinherroom，talkingstandinginourdining-room，savingthisthingorthat。Twicewewentforlongwalks。Andwehadalongeveningalonetogether，withjadednervesandheartsthatfluctuatedbetweenahardanddrearyrecognitionoffactsand，onmypartatleast，astrangeunwontedtenderness；becauseinsomeextraordinarywaythiscrisishaddestroyedourmutualapathyandmadeusfeeloneanotheragain。
Itwasadialoguethathaddiscrepantpartsthatfellintolumpsoftalkthatfailedtojoinontotheirpredecessors，thatbeganagainatadifferentlevel，higherorlower，thatassumednewaspectsintheintervalsandassimilatednewconsiderations。Wediscussedthefactthatwetwowerenolongerlovers；neverbeforehadwefacedthat。Itseemsastrangethingtowrite，butasIlookback，IseeclearlythatthoseseveraldayswerethetimewhenMarionandIwereclosesttogether，lookedforthefirstandlasttimefaithfullyandsteadfastlyintoeachother’ssoul。Forthosedaysonly，therewerenopretences，Imadenoconcessionstohernorshetome；weconcealednothing，exaggeratednothing。Wehaddonewithpretending。Wehaditoutplainlyandsoberlywitheachother。Moodfollowedmoodandgotitsstarkexpression。
Ofcoursetherewasquarrelingbetweenus，bitterquarreling，andwesaidthingstooneanother——longpent-upthingsthatbruisedandcrushedandcut。Butoveritallinmymemorynowisaneffectofdeliberateconfrontation，andthefigureofMarionstandsup，pale，melancholy，tear-stained，injured，implacableanddignified。
“Youloveher？”sheaskedonce，andjerkedthatdoubtintomymind。
Istruggledwithtangledideasandemotions。“Idon’tknowwhatloveis。It’sallsortsofthings——it’smadeofadozenstrandstwistedinathousandways。”
“Butyouwanther？Youwanthernow——whenyouthinkofher？”
“Yes。”Ireflected。“Iwanther——rightenough。”
“Andme？WheredoIcomein？”
“Isupposeyoucomeinhere。”
“Well，butwhatareyougoingtodo？”
“Do！”Isaidwiththeexasperationofthesituationgrowinguponme。“Whatdoyouwantmetodo？”
AsIlookbackuponallthattime——acrossagulfoffifteenactiveyears——IfindIseeitwithanunderstandingjudgment。I
seeitasifitwerethebusinessofsomeoneelse——indeedoftwootherpeople——intimatelyknownyetjudgedwithoutpassion。Iseenowthatthisshock，thissuddenimmensedisillusionment，didinrealfactbringoutamindandsoulinMarion；thatforthefirsttimesheemergedfromhabits，timidities，imitations，phrasesandacertainnarrowwill-impulse，andbecameapersonality。
Herrulingmotiveatfirstwas，Ithink，anindignantandoutragedpride。Thissituationmustend。SheaskedmecategoricallytogiveupEffie，andI，fulloffreshandglowingmemories，absolutelyrefused。
“It’stoolate，Marion。”Isaid。“Itcan’tbedonelikethat。”
“Thenwecan’tverywellgoonlivingtogether。”shesaid。“Canwe？”
“Verywell。”Ideliberated“ifyoumusthaveitso。”
“Well，canwe？”
“Canyoustayinthishouse？Imean——ifIgoaway？”
“Idon’tknow。Idon’tthinkIcould。”
“Then——whatdoyouwant？”
Slowlyweworkedourwayfrompointtopoint，untilatlasttheword“divorce“wasbeforeus。
“Ifwecan’tlivetogetherweoughttobefree。”saidMarion。
“Idon’tknowanythingofdivorce。”Isaid——“ifyoumeanthat。
Idon’tknowhowitisdone。Ishallhavetoasksomebody——orlookitup。Perhaps，afterall，itisthethingtodo。Wemayaswellfaceit。”
Webegantotalkourselvesintoarealisationofwhatourdivergentfuturesmightbe。Icamebackontheeveningofthatdaywithmyquestionsansweredbyasolicitor。
“Wecan’tasamatteroffact。”Isaid，“getdivorcedasthingsare。Apparently，sofarasthelawgoesyou’vegottostandthissortofthing。It’ssillybutthatisthelaw。However，it’seasytoarrangeadivorce。Inadditiontoadulterytheremustbedesertionorcruelty。ToestablishcrueltyIshouldhavetostrikeyou，orsomethingofthatsort，beforewitnesses。That’simpossible——butit’ssimpletodesertyoulegally。Ihavetogoawayfromyou；that’sall。Icangoonsendingyoumoney——andyoubringasuit，whatisit？——forRestitutionofConjugalRights。TheCourtordersmetoreturn。Idisobey。Thenyoucangoontodivorceme。YougetaDecreeNisi，andoncemoretheCourttriestomakemecomeback。Ifwedon’tmakeitupwithinsixmonthsandifyoudon’tbehavescandalouslytheDecreeismadeabsolute。That’stheendofthefuss。That’showonegetsunmarried。It’seasier，yousee，tomarrythanunmarry。”
“Andthen——howdoIlive？Whatbecomesofme？”
“You’llhaveanincome。Theycallitalimony。Fromathirdtoahalfofmypresentincome——moreifyoulike——Idon’tmind——threehundredayear，say。You’vegotyouroldpeopletokeepandyou’llneedallthat。”
“Andthen——thenyou’llbefree？”
“Bothofus。”
“Andallthislifeyou’vehated“
Ilookedupatherwrungandbitterface。“Ihaven’thatedit。”
Ilied，myvoicenearbreakingwiththepainofitall。“Haveyou？”
Theperplexingthingaboutlifeistheirresolvablecomplexityofreality，ofthingsandrelationsalike。Nothingissimple。
Everywrongdonehasacertainjusticeinit，andeverygooddeedhasdregsofevil。Asforus，youngstill，andstillwithoutself-knowledge，resoundedahundreddiscordantnotesintheharshangleofthatshock。Wewerefuriouslyangrywitheachother，tenderwitheachother，callouslyselfish，generouslyself-sacrificing。
IrememberMarionsayinginnumerabledetachedthingsthatdidn’thangtogetheronewithanother，thatcontradictedoneanother，thatwere，nevertheless，allintheirplacesprofoundlytrueandsincere。Iseethemnowassomanyvainexperimentsinherefforttoapprehendthecrumpledconfusionsofourcomplexmorallandslide。SomeIfoundirritatingbeyondmeasure。Iansweredher——sometimesquiteabominably。
“Ofcourse。”shewouldsayagainandagain，“mylifehasbeenafailure。”
“I’vebesiegedyouforthreeyears。”Iwouldretort“askingitnottobe。You’vedoneasyoupleased。IfI’veturnedawayatlast——“
Oragainshewouldreviveallthestressesbeforeourmarriage。
“Howyoumusthateme！Imadeyouwait。Wellnow——Isupposeyouhaveyourrevenge。”
“REVENGE！”Iechoed。
Thenshewouldtryovertheaspectsofournewseparatedlives。
“Ioughttoearnmyownliving。”shewouldinsist。
“Iwanttobequiteindependent。I’vealwayshatedLondon。
PerhapsIshalltryapoultryfarmandbees。Youwon’tmindatfirstmybeingaburden。Afterwards——“
“We’vesettledallthat。”Isaid。
“Isupposeyouwillhatemeanyhow。”
Thereweretimeswhensheseemedtoregardourseparationwithabsolutecomplacency，whenshewouldplanallsortsoffreedomsandcharacteristicinterests。
“IshallgooutalotwithSmithie。”shesaid。
AndonceshesaidanuglythingthatIdidindeedhateherfor。
thatIcannotevennowquiteforgiveher。
“Yourauntwillrejoiceatallthis。Shenevercaredforme。”
IntomymemoryofthesepainsandstressescomesthefigureofSmithie，full-chargedwithemotion，sobreathlessinthepresenceofthehorridvillainofthepiecethatshecouldmakenoarticulatesounds。ShehadlongtearfulconfidenceswithMarion，Iknow，sympatheticcloseclingings。Thereweremomentswhenonlyabsolutespeechlessnesspreventedhergivingmeastupendous“talking-to“——Icouldseeitinhereye。Thewrongthingsshewouldhavesaid！AndIrecall，too，Mrs。Ramboat’sslowawakeningtosomethingin，theair，thegrowingexpressionofsolicitudeinhereye，onlyherwell-trainedfearofMarionkeepingherfromspeech。
Andatlastthroughallthiswelter，likeathingfatedandaltogetherbeyondourcontrol，partingcametoMarionandme。