第44章
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  `NowMrs。Huntingdon,’saidHargrave,ashearrangedthemenontheboard,speakingdistinctly,andwithapeculiaremphasisasifhehadadoublemeaningtoallhiswords,`youareagoodplayer,——butIamabetter:weshallhavealonggame,andyouwillgivemesometrouble;butIcanbeaspatientasyou,and,intheend,Ishallcertainlywin。’HefixedhiseyesuponmewithaglanceIdidnotlike——keen,crafty,bold,andalmostimpudent;alreadyhalftriumphantinhisanticipatedsuccess。

  `Ihopenot,Mr。Hargrave!’returnedI,withavehemencethatmusthavestartledMilicentatleast;butheonlysmiledandmurmured,——

  `Timewillshew。’

  Wesettowork;he,sufficientlyinterestedinthegame,butcalmandfearlessintheconsciousnessofsuperiorskill;I,intenselyeagertodisappointhisexpectations,forIconsideredthisthetypeofamoreseriouscontestsIimaginedhedid——andIfeltanalmostsuperstitiousdreadofbeingbeaten:atallevents,Icouldillendurethatpresentsuccessshouldaddonetittletohisconsciouspowerhisinsolentself-confidence,Ioughttosay,orencourage,foramoment,hisdreamoffutureconquest。

  Hisplaywascautiousanddeep,butIstruggledhardagainsthim。Forsometimethecombatwasdoubtful;atlength,tomyjoy,thevictoryseemedincliningtomyside:Ihadtakenseveralofhisbestpieces,andmanifestlybaffledhisprojects。Heputhishandtohisbrowandpaused,inevidentperplexity。Irejoicedinmyadvantage,butdarednotgloryinityet。

  Atlength,heliftedhishead,and,quietlymakinghismove,lookedatmeandsaid,calmly,——

  `Nowyouthinkyouwillwin,don’tyou。’

  `Ihopeso,’repliedI,takinghispawn,thathehadpushedintothewayofmybishopwithsocarelessanairthatIthoughtitwasanoversight,butwasnotgenerousenough,underthecircumstances,todirecthisattentiontoit,andtooheedless,atthemoment,toforeseetheafterconsequencesofmymove。

  `Itisthosebishopsthattroubleme,’saidhe;`buttheboldknightcanoverleapthereverendgentleman,’takingmylastbishopwithhisknight;——’andnow,thosesacredpersonsonceremoved,Ishallcarryallbeforeme。

  `OhWalter,howyoutalk!’criedMilicent——’Shehasfarmorepiecesthanyoustill。’

  `Iintendtogiveyousometroubleyet,’saidI;`andperhaps,sir,youwillfindyourselfcheckmatedbeforeyouareaware。Looktoyourqueen。’

  Thecombatdeepened。Thegamewasalongone,andIdidgivehimsometrouble:buthewasabetterplayerthanI。

  `Whatkeengamestersyouare!’saidMr。Hattersley,whohadnowentered,andbeenwatchingusforsometime。`Why,Mrs。Huntingdon,yourhandtremblesasifyouhadstakedyouralluponit!andWalter——youdog——youlookasdeepandcoolasifyouwerecertainofsuccess,——andaskeenandcruelasifyouwoulddrainherheart’sblood!ButifIwereyou,Iwouldn’tbeather,forveryfear:she’llhateyouifyoudo——hewill,byHeaven!——I

  seeitinhereye。’

  `Holdyourtongue,willyou?’saidI——histalkdistractedme,forIwasdriventoextremities。AfewmoremovesandIwasinextricablyentangledinthesnareofmyantagonist。

  `Check,’——criedhe:Isoughtinagonysomemeansofescape——`mate!’

  headded,quietlybutwithevidentdelight。Hehadsuspendedtheutteranceofthatlastfatalsyllablethebettertoenjoymydismay。Iwasfoolishlydisconcertedbytheevent。Hattersleylaughed;Milicentwastroubledtoseemesodisturbed。Hargraveplacedhishandonminethatrestedonthetable,andsqueezingitwithafirmbutgentlepressure,murmured`Beaten——beaten!’

  andgazedintomyfacewithalookwhereexultationwasblendedwithanexpressionofardourandtendernessyetmoreinsulting。

  `No,never,Mr。Hargrave!’exclaimedI,quicklywithdrawingmyhand。

  `Doyoudeny?’repliedhe,smilinglypointingtotheboard。

  `No,no,’Ianswered,recollectinghowstrangemyconductmustappear;`youhavebeatenmeinthatgame。

  `Willyoutryanother,then?’

  `No。’

  `Youacknowledgemysuperiority?’

  `Yes——asachess-player。’

  Irosetoresumemywork。

  `WhereisAnnabella?’saidHargrave,gravely,afterglancingroundtheroom。

  `GoneoutwithLordLowborough,’answeredI,forhelookedatmeforareply。

  `Andnotyetreturned!’hesaidseriously。

  `Isupposenot。’

  `WhereisHuntingdon?’lookingroundagain。

  `GoneoutwithGrimsby——asyouknow,’saidHattersleysuppressingalaugh,whichbrokeforthasheconcludedthesentence。

  Whydidhelaugh?WhydidHargraveconnectthemthustogether?

  Wasittrue,then?——Andwasthisthedreadfulsecrethehadwishedtorevealtome?Imustknow——andthatquickly。IinstantlyroseandlefttheroomtogoinsearchofRachel,anddemandanexplanationofherwords;butMr。Hargravefollowedmeintotheante-room,andbeforeIcouldopenitsouterdoor,gentlylaidhishanduponthelock。

  `MayItellyousomething,Mrs。Huntingdon?’saidhe,inasubduedtone,withserious,downcasteyes。

  `Ifitbeanythingworthhearing,’repliedI,strugglingtobecomposed,forItrembledineverylimb。

  Hequietlypushedachairtowardsme。Imerelyleantmyhanduponit,andbidhimgoon。

  `Donotbealarmed,’saidhe:`whatIwishtosayisnothinginitself,andIwillleaveyoutodrawyourowninferencesfromit。YousaythatAnnabellaisnotyetreturned?’

  `Yes,yes——goon!’saidI,impatiently,forIfearedmyforcedcalmnesswouldleavemebeforetheendofhisdisclosure,whateveritmightbe。

  `Andyouhear,’continuedhe,`thatHuntingdonisgoneoutwithGrimsby?’

  `Well?’

  `Iheardthelattersaytoyourhusband——orthemanwhocallshimselfso——’

  `Goon,sir!’

  Hebowedsubmissively,andcontinued,`Iheardhimsay,——“Ishallmanageit,you’llsee!They’regonedownbythewater;Ishallmeetthemthere,andtellhimIwantabitoftalkwithhimaboutsomethingsthatweneedn’ttroubletheladywith;andshe’llsayshecanbewalkingbacktothehouse;andthenIshallapologize,youknow,andallthat,andtipherawinktotakethewayoftheshrubbery。I’llkeephimtalkingthere,aboutthosemattersImentioned,andanythingelseIcanthinkof,aslongasIcan,andthenbringhimroundtheotherway,stoppingtolookatthetrees,thefields,andanythingelseIcanfindtodiscourseof。”’Mr。

  Hargravepaused,andlookedatme。

  Withoutawordofcommentorfurtherquestioning,Irose,anddartedfromtheroomandoutofthehouse。Thetormentofsuspensewasnottobeendured:Iwouldnotsuspectmyhusbandfalsely,onthisman’saccusation,andIwouldnottrusthimunworthily——Imustknowthetruthatonce。Iflewtotheshrubbery。ScarcelyhadIreachedit,whenasoundofvoicesarrestedmybreathlessspeed。

  `Wehavelingeredtoolong;hewillbeback,’saidLadyLowborough’svoice。

  `Surelynot,dearest!’washisreply,`butyoucanrunacrossthelawn,andgetinasquietlyasyoucan:I’llfollowinawhile。’

  Mykneestrembledunderme;mybrainswamround:Iwasreadytofaint。Shemustnotseemethus。Ishrunkamongthebushes,andleantagainstthetrunkofatreetoletherpass。

  `Ah,Huntingdon!’saidshereproachfully,pausingwhereIhadstoodwithhimthenightbefore——`itwashereyoukissedthatwoman!’

  Shelookedbackintotheleafyshade。Advancingthence,heanswered,withacarelesslaugh——

  `Well,dearest,Icouldn’thelpit。YouknowImustkeepstraightwithheraslongasIcan。Haven’tIseenyoukissyourdoltofahusband,scoresoftimes?——anddoIevercomplain?’

  `Buttellme,don’tyouloveherstillslittle?’saidsheplacingherhandonhisarmandlookingearnestlyinhisface——forIcouldseethemplainly,themoonshiningfulluponthemfrombetweenthebranchesofthetreethatshelteredme。

  `Notonebit,byallthat’ssacred!’hereplied,kissingherglowingcheek。

  `GoodHeavens,Imustbegone!’criedshe,suddenlybreakingfromhim,andawaysheflew。

  Therehestoodbeforeme;butIhadnotstrengthtoconfronthimnow;mytonguecleavedtotheroofofmymouth,*Iwaswellnighsinkingtotheearth,andIalmostwonderedhedidnothearthebeatingofmyheartabovethelowsighingofthewind,andthefitfulrustleofthefallingleaves。Mysensesseemedtofailme,butstillIsawhisshadowyformpassbeforeme,andthroughtherushingsoundinmyears,Idistinctlyheardhimsay,ashestoodlookingupthelawn——

  `Theregoesthefool!RunAnnabella,run!There——inwithyou!

  Ah,hedidn’tsee!That’srightGrimsby,keephimback!’Andevenhislowlaughreachedmeashewalkedaway。

  `Godhelpmenow!’Imurmured,sinkingonmykneesamongthedampweedsandbrushwoodthatsurroundedme,andlookingupatthemoonlitsky,throughthescantfoliageabove。Itseemedalldimandquiveringnowtomydarkenedsight。Myburning,burstingheartstrovetopourforthitsagonytoGod,butcouldnotframeitsanguishintoprayer;untilagustofwindsweptoverme,which,whileitscatteredthedeadleaves,likeblightedhopes,around,cooledmyforehead,andseemedalittletorevivemysinkingframe。Then,whileIliftedupmysoulinspeechless,earnestsupplication,someheavenlyinfluenceseemedtostrengthenmewithin:*

  Ibreathedmorefreely;myvisioncleared;Isawdistinctlythepuremoonshiningon,andthelightcloudsskimmingtheclear,darksky;andthen,Isawtheeternalstarstwinklingdownuponme;IknewtheirGodwasmine,andHewasstrongtosaveandswifttohear。`Iwillneverleavethee,norforsakethee,’seemedwhisperedfromabovetheirmyriadorbs。No,no;

  IfeltHewouldnotleavemecomfortless:*inspiteofearthandhellI

  shouldhavestrengthforallmytrials,andwinagloriousrestatlast!

  Refreshed,invigoratedifnotcomposed,Iroseandreturnedtothehouse。Muchofmynewbornstrengthandcourageforsookme,Iconfess,asIenteredit,andshutoutthefreshwindandtheglorioussky:everythingIsawandheardseemedtosickenmyheart——thehall,thelamp,thestaircase,thedoorsofthedifferentapartments,thesocialsoundoftalkandlaughterfromthedrawing-room。HowcouldIbearmyfuturelife?Inthishouse,amongthosepeople——oh,howcouldIenduretolive!Johnjustthenenteredthehall,andseeingme,toldmehehadbeensentinsearchofme,addingthathehadtakeninthetea,andmasterwishedtoknowifIwerecoming。

  `AskMrs。Hattersleytobesokindastomakethetea,John,’

  saidI。`SayIamnotwellto-night,andwishtobeexcused。’

  Iretiredintothelarge,emptydining-room,whereallwassilenceanddarkness,butforthesoftsighingofthewindwithout,andthefaintgleamofmoonlightthatpiercedtheblindsandcurtains;andthereIwalkedrapidlyupanddown,thinkingmybitterthoughtsalone。Howdifferentwasthisfromtheeveningofyesterday!Thatitseems,wasthelastexpiringflashofmylife’shappiness。Poor,blindedfoolthatIwas,tobesohappy!IcouldnowseethereasonofArthur’sstrangereceptionofmeintheshrubbery:theburstofkindnesswasforhisparamour,thestartofhorrorforhiswife。Now,too,IcouldbetterunderstandtheconversationbetweenHattersleyandGrimsby:itwasdoubtlessofhisloveforhertheyspoke,notforme。

  Iheardthedrawing-roomdooropen:alightquickstepcameoutoftheante-room,crossedthehall,andascendedthestairs。ItwasMilicent,poorMilicent,gonetoseehowIwas——nooneelsecaredforme;butshestillwaskind。Ihadshednotearsbefore,butnowtheycame——fastandfree。Thusshedidmegood,withoutapproachingme。Disappointedinhersearch,Iheardhercomedown——moreslowlythanshehadascended。Wouldshecomeinthere,andfindmeout?No;sheturnedintheoppositedirectionandre-enteredthedrawing-room。Iwasglad,forIknewnothowtomeether,orwhattosay。Iwantednoconfidantinmydistress。Ideservednone——andIwantednone。Ihadtakentheburdenuponmyself:letmebearitalone。

  Astheusualhourofretirementapproached,Idriedmyeyes,andtriedtoclearmyvoiceandcalmmymind。ImustseeArthurto-night,andspeaktohim;butIwoulddoitcalmly:thereshouldbenoscene——nothingtocomplainortoboastoftohiscompanions——nothingtolaughatwithhisladylove。Whenthecompanywereretiringtotheirchambers,Igentlyopenedthedoor,andjustashepassed,Ibeckonedhimin。

  `What’stodowithyou,Helen?’saidhe。`Whycouldn’tyoucometomaketeaforus?andwhatthedeuceareyouherefor,inthedark?Whatailsyou,youngwoman——youlooklikeaghost?’hecontinued,surveyingmebythelightofhiscandle。

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