第75章
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  TheyallcametothetrainwhentheMarchesstarteduptoLondon,andstoodwavingtothemastheypulledoutofthestation。“Well,Ican’tseebutthat’sallright。”hesaidashesankbackinhisseatwithasighofrelief。“Ineversupposedweshouldgetoutoftheirmarriagehalfsowell,andIdon’tfeelthatyouquitemadethematcheither,mydear。”

  ShewasforcedtoagreewithhimthattheKenbysseemedhappytogether,andthattherewasnothingtofearforRoseintheirhappiness。HewouldbeastenderlycaredforbyKenbyashecouldhavebeenbyhismother,andfarmorejudiciously。Sheownedthatshehadtrembledforhimtillshehadseenthemalltogether;andnowsheshouldnevertrembleagain。

  “Well?”Marchprompted,atacertaininconclusivenessinhertoneratherthanherwords。

  “Well,youcanseethatit,isn’tideal。”

  “Whyisn’titideal?IsupposeyouthinkthatthemarriageofBurnamyandAgathaTriscoewillbeideal,withtheirignorancesandinexperiencesandillusions。”

  “Yes!It’stheillusions:nomarriagecanbeperfectwithoutthem,andattheiragetheKenbyscan’thavethem。”

  “Kenbyisasolidmassofillusion。AndIbelievethatpeoplecangoandgetasmanynewillusionsastheywant,wheneverthey’velosttheiroldones。”

  “Yes,butthenewillusionswon’twearsowell;andinmarriageyouwantillusionsthatwilllast。No;youneedn’ttalktome。It’sallverywell,butitisn’tideal。”

  Marchlaughed。“Ideal!Whatisideal?”

  “Goinghome!”shesaidwithsuchpassionthathehadnotthehearttopointoutthattheyweremerelyreturningtotheiroldduties,caresandpains,withtheworn-outillusionthatthesewouldbealtogetherdifferentwhentheytookthemupagain。

  InfulfilmentofanotheridealMrs。MarchtookstraightwaytoherberthwhenshegotonboardtheCupania,andtoherhusband’sadmirationsheremainedtheretillthedaybeforetheyreachedNewYork。Hertheorywasthatthecompleterestwoulddomorethananythingelsetocalmhershakennerves;andshedidnotadmitintohercalculationsthechancesofadverseweatherwhichMarchwouldnotsuggestasprobableinthelastweekinSeptember。Theeventjustifiedherunconsciousfaith。Theship’srunwasofunparalledswiftness,evenfortheCupania,andofunparalledsmoothness。Fordaystheseawasassleekasoil;therackswereneveronthetablesonce;thevoyagewasofthesortwhichthosewhomakeitnomorebelieveinatthetimethanthosewhomtheyafterwardswearyinboastingofit。

  Theshipwasveryfull,butMrs。Marchdidnotshowtheslightestcuriositytoknowwhoherfellow-passengerswere。Shesaidthatshewishedtobeletperfectlyalone,evenbyherownemotions,andforthisreasonsheforbadeMarchtobringheralistofthepassengerstillaftertheyhadleftQueenstownlestitshouldbetooexciting。Hedidnottakethetroubletolookitup,therefore;andthefirstnightouthesawnoonewhomheknewatdinner;butthenextmorningatbreakfasthefoundhimselftohisgreatsatisfactionatthesametablewiththeEltwins。

  TheyweresomuchateasewithhimthatevenMrs。Eltwintookpartinthetalk,andtoldhimhowtheyhadspentthetimeofherhusband’srigorousafter-cureinSwitzerland,andnowhewasgoinghomemuchbetterthantheyhadexpected。ShesaidtheyhadratherthoughtofspendingthewinterinEurope,buthadgivenitupbecausetheywerebothalittlehomesick。Marchconfessedthatthiswasexactlythecasewithhiswifeandhimself;andhehadtoaddthatMrs。Marchwasnotverywellotherwise,andheshouldbegladtobeathomeonheraccount。TherecurrenceofthewordhomeseemedtodeepenEltwin’shabitualgloom,andMrs。EltwinhastenedtoleavethesubjectoftheirreturnforinquiryintoMrs。March’scondition;herinterestdidnotsofarovercomehershynessthatsheventuredtoproposeavisittoher;andMarchfoundthatthefactoftheEltwins’presenceonboarddidnotagitatehiswife。

  Itseemedrathertocomforther,andshesaidshehopedhewouldseeallhecouldofthepooroldthings。Sheaskedifhehadmetanyoneelseheknew,andhewasabletotellherthatthereseemedtobeagoodmanyswellsonboard,andthischeeredherverymuch,thoughhedidnotknowthem;shelikedtobeneartherose,thoughitwasnotaflowerthatshereallycaredfor。

  Shedidnotaskwhotheswellswere,andMarchtooknotroubletofindout。Hetooknotroubletogetapassenger-list,andhehadthemoretroublewhenhetriedatlast;thelistsseemedtohaveallvanished,astheyhaveahabitofdoing,afterthefirstday;theonethathemadeinterestforwiththeheadstewardwasasecond-handcopy,andhadnooneheknewinitbuttheEltwins。Thesocialsolitude,however,wasratherfavorabletocertainotherimpressions。ThereseemedevenmoreelderlypeoplethantherewereontheNorumbia;thehumanatmospherewasgrayandsober;therewasnothingofthegayexpansionoftheoutwardvoyage;

  therewaslittletalkingorlaughingamongthoseautumnalmenwhoweregoingseriouslyandanxiouslyhome,withfacesfiercelysetforthecominggrapple;ornecksmeeklybowedfortheyoke。Theyhadeatentheircake,andithadbeengood,butthereremainedadiscomfortinthedigestion。Theysataboutinsilence,andMarchfanciedthattheflownsummerwasasdreamliketoeachofthemasitnowwastohim。Hehatedtobeoftheirdrearycompany,butspirituallyheknewthathewasofit;

  andhevainlyturnedtocheerhimselfwiththeyoungerpassengers。Somematronswhowentaboutcladinfursamusedhim,fortheymusthavebeenunpleasantlywarmintheirjacketsandboas;nothingbutthehopeofbeingabletotellthecustomsinspectorwithagoodconsciencethatthethingshadbeenworn,wouldhavesustainedoneladydrapedfromheadtofootinAstrakhan。

  Theywereallgettingthemselvesreadyforthefrayortheplayofthecomingwinter;butthereseemednothingjoyousinthepreparation。Thereweremanyyounggirls,astherealwaysareeverywhere,buttherewerenotmanyyoungmen,andsuchastherewerekepttothesmoking-room。Therewasnosignofflirtationamongthem;hewouldhavegivenmuchforamomentofthepivotalgirl,toseewhethershecouldhavebrightenedthosegloomysurfaceswithherimpartiallamp。Marchwishedthathecouldhavebroughtsomereportfromtheouterworldtocheerhiswife,ashedescendedtotheirstate-room。Theyhadtakenwhattheycouldgetattheeleventhhour,andtheyhadgotnosuchidealroomastheyhadintheNorumbia。Itwas,asMrs。Marchgraphicallysaid,abasementroom。

  Itwasonthenorthsideoftheship,whichisacoldexposure,andiftherehadbeenanysunitcouldnothavegotintotheirwindow,whichwashalfthetimeunderwater。Thegreenwaves,lacedwithfoam,hissedastheyranacrosstheport;andtheelectricfaninthecorridormoanedlikethewindinagable。

  Hefeltasinkingoftheheartashepushedthestate-roomdooropen,andlookedathiswifelyingwithherfaceturnedtothewall;andhewasgoingtowithdraw,thinkingherasleep,whenshesaidquietly,“Arewegoingdown?”

  “NotthatIknowof。”heansweredwithagayetyhedidnotfeel。“ButI’llasktheheadsteward。”

  Sheputoutherhandbehindherforhimtotake,andclutchedhisfingersconvulsively。“IfI’mneveranybetter,youwillalwaysrememberthishappy,summer,won’tyou?Oh,it’sbeensuchahappysummer!Ithasbeenonelongjoy,onecontinuedtriumph!Butitwastoolate;weweretooold;andit’sbrokenme。”

  Thetimehadbeenwhenhewouldhaveattemptedcomfort;whenhewouldhavetriedmocking;butthattimewaslongpast;hecouldonlyprayinwardlyforsomesortofdiversion,butwhatitwastobeintheirbarrencircumstancehewasobligedtoleavealtogethertoProvidence。

  Heventured,pendingananswertohisprayersuponthequestion,“Don’tyouthinkI’dbetterseethedoctor,andgetyousomesortoftonic?”

  Shesuddenlyturnedandfacedhim。“Thedoctor!Why,I’mnotsick,Basil!Ifyoucanseethepurserandgetourroomschanged,ordosomethingtostopthosewavesfromslappingagainstthathorribleblinkingone-eyedwindow,youcansavemylife;butnotonicisgoingtohelpme。”

  Sheturnedherfacefromhimagain,andburieditinthebedclothes,whilehelookeddesperatelyattheracingwaves,andtheportthatseemedtoopenandshutlikeawearyeye。

  “Oh,goaway!”sheimplored。“Ishallbebetterpresently,butifyoustandtherelikethat——Goandseeifyoucan’tgetsomeotherroom,whereIneedn’tfeelasifIweredrowning,allthewayover。”

  Heobeyed,sofarastogoawayatonce,andhavingoncestarted,hedidnotstopshortofthepurser’soffice。HemadeanexcuseofgettinggreenbacksforsomeEnglishbank-notes,andthenhesaidcasuallythathesupposedtherewouldbenochanceofhavinghisroomonthelowerdeckchangedforsomethingalittlelessintimatewiththesea。Thepurserwasnottheretotakethehumorousview,butheconceivedthatMarchwantedsomethinghigherup,andhewasabletoofferhimaroomofthoseonthepromenadewherehehadseenswellsgoinginandout,forsixhundreddollars。Marchdidnotblench,butsaidhewouldgethiswifetolookatitwithhim,andthenhewentoutsomewhatdizzilytotakecounselwithhimselfhowheshouldputthemattertoher。Shewouldbesuretoaskwhatthepriceofthenewroomwouldbe,andhedebatedwhethertotakeitandtellhersomekindlylieaboutit,ortrusttothebracingeffectofthesumnamedinhelpingrestorethelostbalanceofhernerves。Hewasnotsorichthathecouldthrowsixhundreddollarsaway,buttheremightbeworsethings;andhewalkedupanddownthinking。Allatonceitflasheduponhimthathehadbetterseethedoctor,anyway,andfindoutwhethertherewerenotsomelasthopeinmedicinebeforehetookthedesperatestepbeforehim。Heturnedinhalfhiscourse,andranintoaladywhohadjustemergedfromthedoorofthepromenadeladenwithwraps,andwhodroppedthemallandclutchedhimtosaveherselffromfalling。

  “Why,Mr。March!”sheshrieked。

  “MissTriscoe!”hereturned,intheastonishmentwhichhesharedwithhertotheextentoflettingtheshawlshehadknockedfromherholdliebetweenthemtillshebegantopickthemupherself。Thenhejoinedherandinthereliefoftheircommonoccupationtheycontrivedtopossesseachotherofthereasonoftheirpresenceon,thesameboat。ShehadsorrowedoverMrs。March’ssadstate,andhehadgrievedtohearthatherfatherwasgoinghomebecausehewasnotatallwell,beforetheyfoundthegeneralstretchedoutinhissteamer-chair,andwaitingwithagrimimpatienceforhisdaughter。

  “Buthowisityou’renotinthepassenger-list?”heinquiredofthemboth,andMissTriscoeexplainedthattheyhadtakentheirpassageatthelastmoment,toolate,shesupposed,togetintothelist。TheywereinLondon,andhadrundowntoLiverpoolonthechanceofgettingberths。

  Beyondthisshewasnotdefinite,andtherewasanabsenceofBurnamynotonlyfromhercompanybutfromherconversationwhichmystifiedMarchthroughallhisselfishpreoccupationswithhiswife。Shewasagirlwhohadherreserves,butforagirlwhohadsolatelyandrapturouslywrittenthemofherengagement,therewasasilenceconcerningherbetrothedthathadalmostpositivequality。WithhislongingtotryMissTriscoeuponMrs。March’smaladyasaremedialagent,hehadnowthedesiretotryMrs。MarchuponMissTriscoe’smysteryasasolvent。Shestoodtalkingtohim,andrefusingtositdownandbewrappedupinthechairnextherfather。ShesaidthatifheweregoingtoaskMrs。Marchtolethercometoher,itwouldnotbeworthwhiletositdown;andhehurriedbelow。

  “Didyougetit?”askedhiswife,withoutlookinground,butnotsoapatheticallyasbefore。

  “Oh,yes。That’sallright。Butnow,Isabel,there’ssomethingI’vegottotellyou。You’dfinditout,andyou’dbetterknowitatonce。”

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