CAPTGWithanuneasylaughWhatwillMacklerthinkifyouneglecthimso？
MRSHAndithasn’tbroughtyounearerYouseemfartherawaythaneverAreyousulkingaboutsomething？Iknowyourtemper。
CAPTGNo。
MRSHHaveIgrownoldin’thelastfewmonths，then？Reachesforwardtobankofflowersformenu-card。
PARTNERONLEFTAllowmeHandsmenu-cardMRSH。
keepsherarmatfullstretchforthreeseconds。
MRSHTopartner。Oh，thanksIdidn’tseeTurnsrightagain。
Isanythinginmechangedatall？
CAPTGForGoodness’ssakegoonwithyourdinner！YoumusteatsomethingTryoneofthosecutletarrangementsAside。
AndIfanciedshehadgoodshoulders，onceuponatime！Whatanassamancanmakeofhimself！
MRSHHelpingherselftoapaperfrill，sevenpeas，somestampedcarrotsandaspoonfulofgravy。Thatisn’tananswer。
TellmewhetherIhavedoneanything。
CAPTGAside。Ifitisn’tendedheretherewillbeaghastlyscenesome-
whereelseIfonlyI’dwrittentoherandstoodtheracket-atlongrange！ToKhitmatgar。Han！SimpkindoAloud。I’lltellyoulateron。
MRSHTellmenowItmustbesomefoolishmisunderstanding，andyouknowthattherewastobenothingofthatsortbetweenus。
Weofallpeopleintheworld，can’tafforditIsittheVaynorman，anddon’tyouliketosayso？Onmyhonor-CAPTGIhaven’tgiventheVaynormanathought。
MRSHButhowd’youknowthatIhaven’t？
CAPTGAside。Here’smychanceandmaytheDevilhelpmethroughwithitAloudandmeasuredly。Believeme，IdonotcarehowoftenorhowtenderlyyouthinkoftheVaynorman。
MRSHIwonderifyoumeanthat！Oh，whatisthegoodofsquabblingandpretendingtomisunderstandwhenyouareonlyupforsoshortatime？Pip，don’tbeastupid！
Followsapause，duringwhichhecrosseshisleftlegoverhisrightandcontinueshisdinner。
CAPTGInanswertothethunderstorminhereyes。Corns-myworst。
MRSHUponmyword，youaretheveryrudestmanintheworld！I’llneverdoitagain。
CAPTGAside。No，Idon’tthinkyouwill；butIwonderwhatyouwilldobeforeit’salloverToKhitmatgar。ThorahurSimpkindo。
MRSHWell！Haven’tyouthegracetoapologize，badman？
CAPTGAside。Imustn’tletitdriftbacknowTrustawomanforbeingasblindasabatwhenshewon’tsee。
MRSHI’mwaiting；orwouldyoulikemetodictateaformofapology？
CAPTGDesperately。Byallmeansdictate。
MRSHLightly。VerywellRehearseyourseveralChristiannamesaftermeandgoon：“Professmysincererepentance。”
CAPTG“Sincererepentance。”
MRSH“Forhavingbehaved“-
CAPTGAside。Atlast！IwishtoGoodnessshe’dlookaway。
“Forhavingbehaved“-asIhavebehaved，anddeclarethatIamthoroughlyandheartilysickofthewholebusiness，andtakethisopportunityofmakingclearmyintentionofendingit，now，henceforward，andforeverAside。IfanyonehadtoldmeI
shouldbesuchablackguard！-
MRSHShakingaspoonfulofpotatochipsintoherplate。That’snotaprettyjoke。
CAPTGNoIt’sarealityAside。Iwonderifsmashesofthiskindarealwayssoraw。
MRSHReally，Pip，you’regettingmoreabsurdeveryday。
CAPTGIdon’tthinkyouquiteunderstandmeShallIrepeatit？
MRSHNo！Forpity’ssakedon’tdothatIt’stooterrible，eveninfur。
CAPTGI’llletherthinkitoverforawhileButIoughttobehorsewhipped。
MRSHIwanttoknowwhatyoumeantbywhatyousaidjustnow。
CAPTGExactlywhatIsaidNoless。
MRSHButwhathaveIdonetodeserveit？WhathaveIdone？
CAPTGAside。Ifsheonlywouldn’tlookatmeAloudandveryslowly，hiseyesonhisplate。D’yourememberthateveninginJuly，beforetheRainsbroke，whenyousaidthattheendwouldhavetocomesoonerorlater-andyouwonderedforwhichofUSitwouldcomefirst？
MRSHYes！IwasonlyjokingAndyousworethat，aslongastherewasbreathinyourbody，itshouldnevercomeAndI
believedyou。
CAPTGFingeringmenu-card。Well，ithasThat’sall。
Alongpause，duringwhichMRSHbowsherheadandrollsthebread-twistintolittlepellets；Gstaresattheoleanders。
MRSHThrowingbackherheadandlaughingnaturally。Theytrainuswomenwell，don’tthey，Pip？
CAPTGBrutally，touchingshirt-stud。SofarastheexpressiongoesAside。Itisn’tinhernaturetotakethingsquietlyThere’llbeanexplosionyet。
MRSHWithashudder。ThankyouB-butevenRedIndiansallowpeopletowrigglewhenthey’rebeingtortured，Ibelieve。
Slipsfanfromgirdleandfansslowly：rimoffanlevelwithchin。
PARTNERONLEFTVeryclosetonight，isn’tit？’Youfindittoomuchforyou？
MRSHOh，no，notintheleastButtheyreallyoughttohavepunkahs，eveninyourcoolNainiTal，oughtn’tthey？Turns，droppingfanandraisingeyebrows。
CAPTGIt’sallrightAside。Herecomesthestorm！
MRSHHereyesonthetablecloth：fanreadyinrighthand。Itwasverycleverlymanaged，Pip，andIcongratulateyouYouswore-younevercontentedyourselfwithmerelySayingathing-yousworethat，asfaraslayinyourpower，you’dmakemywretchedlifepleasantformeAndyou’vedeniedmetheconsolationofbreakingdownIshouldhavedoneit-indeedI
shouldAwomanwouldhardlyhavethoughtofthisrefinement，mykind，consideratefriendFan-guardasbefore。Youhaveexplainedthingssotenderlyandtruthfully，too！Youhaven’tspokenorwrittenawordofwarning，andyouhaveletmebelieveinyoutillthelastminuteYouhaven’tcondescendedtogivemeyourreasonyetNo！AwomancouldnothavemanagedithalfsowellAretheremanymenlikeyouintheworld？
CAPTGI’msureIdon’tknowToKhitmatgar。Ohe！Simpkindo。
MRSHYoucallyourselfamanoftheworld，don’tyou？DomenoftheworldbehavelikeDevilswhentheyawomanthehonortogettiredofher？
CAPTGI’msureIdon’tknowDon’tspeaksoloud！
MRSHKeepusrespectable，OLord，whateverhappensDon’tbeafraidofmycompromisingyouYou’vechosenyourgroundfartoowell，andI’vebeenproperlybroughtupLoweringfan。
Haven’tyouanypity，Pip，exceptforyourself？
CAPTGWouldn’titberatherimpertinentofmetosaythatI’msorryforyou？
MRSHIthinkyouhavesaiditonceortwicebeforeYou’regrowingverycarefulofmyfeelingsMyGod，Pip，Iwasagoodwomanonce！YousaidIwasYou’vemademewhatIamWhatareyougoingtodowithme？Whatareyougoingtodowithme？
Won’tyousaythatyouaresorry？Helpsherselftoicedasparagus。
CAPTGIamsorryforyou，ifyouWantthepityofsuchabruteasIamI’mawf’lysorryforyou。
MRSHRathertameforamanoftheworldDoyouthinkthatthatadmissionclearsyou？
CAPTGWhatcanIdo？IcanonlytellyouwhatIthinkofmyself。
Youcan’tthinkworsethanthat？
MRSHOh，yes，Ican！Andnow，willyoutellmethereasonofallthis？Remorse？HasBayardbeensuddenlyconscience-
stricken？
CAPTGAngrily，hiseyesstilllowered。No！ThethinghascometoanendonmysideThat’sallMafisch！
MRSH“That’sallMafisch！”AsthoughIwereaCaireneDragomanYouusedtomakeprettierspeechesD’yourememberwhenyousaid？-
CAPTGForHeaven’ssakedon’tbringthatback！CallmeanythingyoulikeandI’lladmitit-
MRSHButyoudon’tcaretoberemindedofoldlies？IfIcouldhopetohurtyouone-tenthasmuchasyouhavehurtmeto-night-No，Iwouldn’t-Icouldn’tdoit-liarthoughyouare。
CAPTGI’vespokenthetruth。
MRSHMydearSir，youflatteryourselfYouhaveliedoverthereasonPip，rememberthatIknowyouasyoudon’tknowyourselfYouhaveheeneverythingtome，thoughyouare-
Fan-guard。Oh，whatacontemptibleThingitis！Andsoyouaremerelytiredofme？
CAPTGSinceyouinsistuponmyrepeatingit-Yes。
MasHLiethefirstIwishIknewacoarserwordLieseemssoin-effectualinyourcaseThefirehasjustdiedoutandthereisnofreshone？Thinkforaminute，Pip，ifyoucarewhetherIdespiseyoumorethanIdoSimplyMafisch，isit？
CAPTGYesAside。IthinkIdeservethis。
MRSHLienumbertwoBeforethenextglasschokesyou，tellmehername。
CAPTGAside。I’llmakeherpayfordraggingMinnieintothebusiness！Aloud。Isitlikely？
MRSHVerylikelyifyouthoughtthatitwouldflatteryourvanityYou’dcrymynameonthehouse-topstomakepeopleturnround。
CAPTGIwishIhadTherewouldhavebeenanendtothisbusiness。
MRSHOh，no，therewouldnot-Andsoyouweregoingtobevirtuousandblase’，wereyou？Tocometomeandsay：“I’vedonewithyouTheincidentisclo-osed。”Ioughttobeproudofhavingkeptsuchamansolong。
CAPTGAside。Itonlyremainstoprayfortheendofthedinner。
Aloud。YouknowwhatIthinkofmyself。
MRSHAsit’stheonlypersoninheworldyoueverdothinkof，andasIknowyourmindthoroughly，IdoVouwanttogetitalloverand-Oh，Ican’tkeepyouback！Andyou’regoing-thinkofit，Pip-tothrowmeoverforanotherwomanAndyousworethatallotherwomenwere-Pip，myPip！Shecan’tcareforyouasIdo。
Believeme，shecan’tIsitanyonethatIknow？
CAPTGThankGoodnessitisn’tAside。Iexpectedacyclone，butnotanearthquake。
MRSHShecan’t！IsthereanythingthatIwouldn’tdoforyou-orhaven’tdone？AndtothinkthatIshouldtakethistroubleoveryou，knowingwhatyouare！Doyoudespisemeforit？
CAPTGWipinghismouthtohideasmile。Again？It’sentirelyaworkofcharityonyourpart。
MRSHAhhh！ButIhavenorighttoresentit-Isshebetter-
lookingthanI？Whowasitsaid？-
CAPTGNo-notthat！
MRSHI’llbemoremercifulthanyouwereDon’tyouknowthatallwomenarealike？
CAPTGAside。Thenthisistheexceptionthatprovestherule。
MRSHAllofthem！I’lltellyouanythingyoulikeIwill，uponmyword！Theyonlywanttheadmiration-fromanybody-nomatterwho-anybody！Butthereisalwaysonemanthattheycareformorethananyoneelseintheworld，andwouldsacrificealltheotherstoOh，dolisten！I’vekepttheVaynormantrottingaftermelikeapoodle，andhebelievesthatheistheonlymanIaminterestedin。
I’lltellyouwhathesaidtome。
CAPTGSparehimAside。Iwonderwhathisversionis。
MRSHHe’sbeenwaitingformetolookathimallthroughdinnerShallIdoit，andyoucanseewhatanidiothelooks？
CAPTG“Butwhatimportsthenominationofthisgentleman？”
MRSHWatch！SendsaglancetotheVaynorman，whotriesvainlytocombineamouthfuloficepudding，asmirkofself-satisfaction，aglareofintensedevotion，andthestolidityofaBntishdiningcountenance。
CAPTGCritically。Hedoesn’tlookprettyWhydidn’tyouwaittillthespoonwasoutofhismouth？
MRSHToamuseyouShe’llmakeanexhibitionofyouasI’vemadeofhim；andpeoplewilllaughatyouOh，Pip，can’tyouseethat？It’sasplainasthenoondaySunYou’llbetrottedaboutandtoldlies，andmadeafoolofliketheothersjnevermadeafoolofyou，didI？
CAPTGAside。Whatacleverlittlewomanitis！
MRSHWell，whathaveyoutosay？
CAPTGIfeelbetter。
MRSHYes，Isupposeso，afterIhavecomedowntoyourlevel。
Icouldn’thavedoneitifIhadn’tcaredforyousomuchIhavespokenthetruth。
CAPTGItdoesn’talterthesituation。