’I——IsupposesoBytheway，howlongdoyouthinkthiswarwilllast？’
’Days，weeks，ormonthsOnecannevertellItmaygoonforyears。’
’IwishIweregoing。’
’GoodHeavens！You’rethemostunaccountablecreature！Hasn’titoccurredtoyouthatyou’regoingtobemarried——thankstome？’
’Ofcourse，yesI’mgoingtobemarried——soIamGoingtobemarried。
I’mawfullygratefultoyouHaven’tItoldyouthat？’
’Youmightbegoingtobehangedbythelookofyou，’saidTorpenhow。
AndthenextdayTorpenhowbadehimgood-byeandlefthimtothelonelinesshehadsomuchdesired。
CHAPTERXIV
Yetatthelast，ereourspearmenhadfoundhim，Yetatthelast，ereasword-thrustcouldsave，Yetatthelast，withhismastersaroundhim，HeoftheFaithspokeasmastertoslave；
Yetatthelast，tho’theKafirshadmaimedhim，Brokenbybondageandwreckedbythereiver，——
Yetatthelast，tho’thedarknesshadclaimedhim，HecalleduponAllahanddiedabeliever——
Kizzilbashi。
’BEGyourpardon，MrHeldar，but——butisn’tnothin’goingtohappen？’
saidMrBeeton。
’No！’Dickhadjustwakedtoanothermorningofblankdespairandhistemperwasoftheshortest。
’’Tain’tmyregularbusiness，o’course，sir；andwhatIsayis，“Mindyourownbusinessandletotherpeoplemindtheirs；“butjustbeforeMr。
Torpenhowwentawayhegivemetounderstand，like，thatyoumightbemovingintoahouseofyourown，sotospeak——asortofhousewithroomsupstairsanddownstairswhereyou’dbebetterattendedto，thoughI
trytoactjustbyallourtenantsDon’tI？’
’Ah！Thatmusthavebeenamad-houseIshan’ttroubleyoutotakemethereyetGetmemybreakfast，please，andleavemealone。’
’IhopeIhaven’tdoneanythingwrong，sir，butyouknowIhopethatasfarasamancanItriestodotheproperthingbyallthegentlemeninchambers——andmoreparticularthosewhoselotishard——suchasyou，forinstance，MrHeldarYoulikessoft-roebloater，don’tyou？
Soft-roebloatersisscarcerthanhard-roe，butwhatIsaysis，“Nevermindalittleextratroublesolongasyougivesatisfactiontothetenants。”’
MrBeetonwithdrewandleftDicktohimselfTorpenhowhadbeenlongaway；therewasnomoreriotinginthechambers，andDickhadsettleddowntohisnewlife，whichhewasweakenoughtoconsidernothingbetterthandeath。
Itishardtolivealoneinthedark，confusingthedayandnight；
droppingtosleepthroughsheerwearinessatmid-day，andrisingrestlessinthechillofthedawnAtfirstDick，onhisawakenings，wouldgropealongthecorridorsofthechamberstillheheardsomeonesnoreThenhewouldknowthatthedayhadnotyetcome，andreturnwearilytohisbedroom。
LaterhelearnednottostirtilltherewasanoiseandmovementinthehouseandMrBeetonadvisedhimtogetupOncedressed——anddressing，nowthatTorpenhowwasaway，wasalengthybusiness，becausecollars，ties，andthelikehidthemselvesinfarcornersoftheroom，andsearchmeanthead-beatingagainstchairsandtrunks——oncedressed，therewasnothingwhatevertodoexcepttositstillandbroodtillthethreedailymealscameCenturiesseparatedbreakfastfromlunchandlunchfromdinner，andthoughamanprayedforhundredsofyearsthathismindmightbetakenfromhim，GodwouldneverhearRatherthemindwasquickenedandtherevolvingthoughtsgroundagainsteachotherasmillstonesgrindwhenthereisnocornbetween；andyetthebrainwouldnotwearoutandgivehimrestItcontinuedtothink，atlength，withimageryandallmannerofreminiscencesItrecalledMaisieandpastsuccess，recklesstravelsbylandandsea，thegloryofdoingworkandfeelingthatitwasgood，andsuggestedallthatmighthavehappenedhadtheeyesonlybeenfaithfultotheirdutyWhenthinkingceasedthroughsheerweariness，therepouredintoDick’ssoultideontideofoverwhelming，purposelessfear——dreadofstarvationalways，terrorlesttheunseenceilingshouldcrushdownuponhim，fearoffireinthechambersandalouse’sdeathinredflame，andagoniesoffiercerhorrorthathadnothingtodowithanyfearofdeathThenDickbowedhishead，andclutchingthearmsofhischairfoughtwithhissweatingselftillthetinkleofplatestoldhimthatsomethingtoeatwasbeingsetbeforehim。
MrBeetonwouldbringthemealwhenhehadtimetospare，andDicklearnedtohanguponhisspeech，whichdealtwithbadlyfittedgas-plugs，waste-pipesoutofrepair，littletricksfordrivingpicture-nailsintowalls，andthesinsofthecharwomanorthehousemaidsInthelackofbetterthingsthesmallgossipofaservant’’hallbecomesimmenselyinteresting，andthescrewingofawasheronatapaneventtobetalkedoverfordays。
Onceortwiceaweek，too，MrBeetonwouldtakeDickoutwithhimwhenhewentmarketinginthemorningtohagglewithtradesmenoverfish，lamp-wicks，mustard，tapioca，andsoforth，whileDickrestedhisweightfirstononefootandthenontheotherandplayedaimlesslywiththetinsandstring-ballonthecounterThentheywouldperhapsmeetoneofMrBeeton’sfriends，andDick，standingasidealittle，wouldholdhispeacetillMrBeetonwaswillingtogoonagain。
Thelifedidnotincreasehisself-respectHeabandonedshavingasadangerousexercise，andbeingshavedinabarber’sshopmeantexposureofhisinfirmityHecouldnotseethathisclotheswereproperlybrushed，andsincehehadnevertakenanycareofhispersonalappearancehebecameeveryknownvarietyofslovenAblindmancannotdealwithcleanlinesstillhehasbeensomemonthsusedtothedarknessIfhedemandattendanceandgrowangryatthewantofit，hemustasserthimselfandstanduprightThenthemeanestmenialcanseethatheisblindand，therefore，ofnoconsequenceAwisemanwillkeephiseyesonthefloorandsitstillForamusementhemaypickcoallumpbylumpoutofthescuttlewiththetongsandpileitinalittleheapinthefender，keepingcountofthelumps，whichmustallbeputbackagain，onebyoneandverycarefullyHemaysethimselfsumsifhecarestoworkthemout；hemaytalktohimselfortothecatifshechoosestovisithim；
andifhistradehasbeenthatofanartist，hemaysketchintheairwithhisforefinger；butthatistoomuchlikedrawingapigwiththeeyesshutHemaygotohisbookshelvesandcounthisbooks，rangingtheminorderoftheirsize；ortohiswardrobeandcounthisshirts，layingtheminpilesoftwoorthreeonthebed，astheysufferfromfrayedcuffsorlostbuttons。
Eventhisentertainmentweariesafteratime；andallthetimesarevery，verylong。
Dickwasallowedtosortatool-chestwhereMrBeetonkepthammers，tapsandnuts，lengthsofgas-pipes，oil-bottles，andstring。
’IfIdon’thaveeverythingjustwhereIknowwheretolookforit，why，then，Ican’tfindanythingwhenIdowantitYou’venoidea，sir，theamountoflittlethingsthatthesechambersusesup，’saidMr。
Beeton。
Fumblingatthehandleofthedoorashewentout：’It’shardonyou，sir，Idothinkit’shardonyouAin’tyougoingtodoanything，sir？’
’I’llpaymyrentandmessingIsn’tthatenough？’
’Iwasn’tdoubtingforamomentthatyoucouldn’tpayyourway，sir；
butI’aveoftensaidtomywife，“It’s’ardon’imbecauseitisn’tasifhewasanoldman，noryetamiddle-agedone，butquiteayounggentleman。
That’swhereitcomesso’ard。”’
’Isupposeso，’saidDick，absentlyThisparticularnervethroughlongbatteringhadceasedtofeel——much。
’Iwasthinking，’continuedMrBeeton，stillmakingasiftogo，’thatyoumightliketohearmyboyAlfreadyouthepaperssometimesofaneveningHedoreadbeautiful，seeinghe’sonlynine。’
’Ishouldbeverygrateful，’saidDick’Onlyletmemakeitworthhiswhile。’
’Wewasn’tthinkingofthat，sir，butofcourseit’sinyourown’ands；
butonlyto’earAlfsing“ABoy’sbestFriendis’isMother！”Ah！’
’I’llhearhimsingthattooLethimcomethiseveningwiththenewspapers。’
Alfwasnotanicechild，beingpuffedupwithmanyschool-boardcertificatesforgoodconduct，andinordinatelyproudofhissingingMr。
Beetonremained，beaming，whilethechildwailedhiswaythroughasongofsomeeighteight-lineversesintheusualwhineofayoungCockney，and，aftercompliments，lefthimtoreadDicktheforeigntelegramsTenminuteslaterAlfreturnedtohisparentsratherpaleandscared。
’’Esaid’ecouldn’tstanditnomore，’heexplained。
’Heneversaidyoureadbadly，Alf？’MrsBeetonspoke。
’No’EsaidIreadbeautifulSaid’enever’eardanyonereadlikethat，but’esaid’ecouldn’tabidethestuffinthepapers。’
’P’rapshe’slostsomemoneyintheStocksWereyoureadin’himaboutStocks，Alf？’
’No；itwasallaboutfightin’outtherewherethesoldiersisgone——agreatlongpiecewithallthelinesclosetogetherandveryhardwordsinit’E
giveme’arfacrownbecauseIreadsowellAnd’esaysthenexttimethere’sanything’ewantsread’e’llsendforme。’
’That’sgoodhearing，butIdothinkforallthehalf-crown——putitintothekicking-donkeymoney-box，Alf，andletmeseeyoudoit——hemighthavekeptyoulongerWhy，hecouldn’thavebeguntounderstandhowbeautifulyouread。’
’He’sbestlefttohisself——gentlemenalwaysarewhenthey’redownhearted，’saidMrBeeton。
Alf’srigorouslylimitedpowersofcomprehendingTorpenhow’sspecialcorrespondencehadwakedthedevilofunrestinDickHecouldhear，throughtheboy’snasalchant，thecamelsgruntinginthesquaresbehindthesoldiersoutsideSuakin；couldhearthemenswearingandchaffingacrossthecookingpots，andcouldsmelltheacridwood-smokeasitdriftedovercampbeforethewindofthedesert。
ThatnightheprayedtoGodthathismindmightbetakenfromhim，offeringforproofthathewasworthyofthisfavourthefactthathehadnotshothimselflongagoThatprayerwasnotanswered，andindeedDickknewinhisheartofheartsthatonlyalingeringsenseofhumourandnospecialvirtuehadkepthimaliveSuicide，hehadpersuadedhimself，wouldbealudicrousinsulttothegravityofthesituationaswellasaweak-kneedconfessionoffear。
’Justforthefunofthething，’hesaidtothecat，whohadtakenBinkie’splaceinhisestablishment，’IshouldliketoknowhowlongthisisgoingtolastIcanliveforayearonthehundredpoundsTorpcashedformeI
musthavetwoorthreethousandatleastintheBank——twentyorthirtyyearsmoreprovidedfor，thatistosayThenIfallbackonmyhundredandtwentyayear，whichwillbemorebythattimeLet’sconsider。
Twenty-five——thirty-five——aman’sinhisprimethen，theysay——forty-five——amiddle-agedmanjustenteringpolitics——fifty-five——“diedatthecomparativelyearlyageoffifty-five。”accordingtothenewspapersBah！HowtheseChristiansfunkdeath！
Sixty-five——we’reonlygettingoninyearsSeventy-fiveisjustpossible，though。
Greathell，catO！fiftyyearsmoreofsolitaryconfinementinthedark！You’lldie，andBeetonwilldie，andTorpwilldie，andMai——everybodyelsewilldie，butIshallbealiveandkickingwithnothingtodoI’mverysorryformyselfIshouldlikesomeoneelsetobesorryformeEvidentlyI’mnotgoingmabeforeIdie，butthepain’sjustasbadaseverSomedaywhenyou’revivisected，catO！they’lltieyoudownonalittletableandcutyouopen——butdon’tbeafraid；they’lltakepreciousgoodcarethatyoudon’tdieYou’lllive，andyou’llbeverysorrythenthatyouweren’tsorryformePerhapsTorpwillcomebackorIwishIcouldgotoTorpandtheNilghai，eventhoughIwereintheirway。’
Pussylefttheroombeforethespeechwasended，andAlf，asheentered，foundDickaddressingtheemptyhearth-rug。
’There’saletterforyou，sir，’hesaid’Perhapsyou’dlikemetoreadit。’
’LendittomeforaminuteandI’lltellyou。’
Theoutstretchedhandshookjustalittleandthevoicewasnotover-steadyItwaswithinthelimitsofhumanpossibilitythat——thatwasnoletterfromMaisieHeknewtheheftofthreeclosedenvelopesonlytoowellItwasafoolishhopethatthegirlshouldwritetohim，forhedidnotrealisethatthereisawrongwhichadmitsofnoreparationthoughtheevildoermaywithtearsandtheheart’sbestlovestrivetomendall。
Itisbesttoforgetthatwrongwhetheritbecausedorendured，sinceitisasremedilessasbadworkonceputforward。
’Readit，then，’saidDick，andAlfbeganintoningaccordingtotherulesoftheBoardSchool——
’“Icouldhavegivenyoulove，Icouldhavegivenyouloyalty，suchasyouneverdreamedofDoyousupposeIcaredwhatyouwere？ButyouchosetowhistleeverythingdownthewindfornothingMyonlyexcuseforyouisthatyouaresoyoung。”