第66章
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  Thisparticularengagementlastedsevenweeks——wecalledittheSevenWeeks’War——andwasfoughtoutinchbyinchonbothsides。

  A

  detailedaccountwouldfillabook,andwouldbeincompletethen。

  AnyonewhoknowsaboutthesethingscanfitinthedetailsforhimselfItwasasuperbfight——therewillneverbeanotherlikeitaslongasJakkostands——andPluffleswastheprizeofvictory。

  PeoplesaidshamefulthingsaboutMrsHauksbeeTheydidnotknowwhatshewasplayingforMrsReiverfought,partlybecausePluffleswasusefultoher,butmainlybecauseshehatedMrs。

  Hauksbee,andthematterwasatrialofstrengthbetweenthemNooneknowswhatPlufflesthoughtHehadnotmanyideasatthebestoftimes,andthefewhepossessedmadehimconceitedMrs。

  Hauksbeesaid:——“Theboymustbecaught;andtheonlywayofcatchinghimisbytreatinghimwell。”

  SoshetreatedhimasamanoftheworldandofexperiencesolongastheissuewasdoubtfulLittlebylittle,Plufflesfellawayfromhisoldallegianceandcameovertotheenemy,bywhomhewasmademuchofHewasneversentonout-postdutyafter’rickshawsanymore,norwashegivendanceswhichnevercameoff,norwerethedrainsonhispursecontinuedMrsHauksbeeheldhimonthesnaffle;andafterhistreatmentatMrsReiver’shands,heappreciatedthechange。

  MrsReiverhadbrokenhimoftalkingabouthimself,andmadehimtalkaboutherownmeritsMrsHauksbeeactedotherwise,andwonhisconfidence,tillhementionedhisengagementtothegirlatHome,speakingofitinahighandmightywayasa“pieceofboyishfolly。”Thiswaswhenhewastakingteawithheroneafternoon,anddiscoursinginwhatheconsideredagayandfascinatingstyle。

  MrsHauksbeehadseenanearliergenerationofhisstampbudandblossom,anddecayintofatCaptainsandtubbyMajors。

  Atamoderateestimatetherewereaboutthreeandtwentysidestothatlady’scharacterSomemensaymoreShebegantotalktoPlufflesafterthemannerofamother,andasiftherehadbeenthreehundredyears,insteadoffifteen,betweenthemShespokewithasortofthroatyquaverinhervoicewhichhadasoothingeffect,thoughwhatshesaidwasanythingbutsoothingShepointedouttheexceedingfolly,nottosaymeanness,ofPluffles’

  conduct,andthesmallnessofhisviewsThenhestammeredsomethingabout“trustingtohisownjudgmentasamanoftheworld;“andthispavedthewayforwhatshewantedtosaynextItwouldhavewitheredupPluffleshaditcomefromanyotherwoman;

  butinthesoftcooingstyleinwhichMrsHauksbeeputit,itonlymadehimfeellimpandrepentant——asifhehadbeeninsomesuperiorkindofchurchLittlebylittle,verysoftlyandpleasantly,shebegantakingtheconceitoutofPluffles,asyoutaketheribsoutofanumbrellabeforere-coveringitShetoldhimwhatshethoughtofhimandhisjudgmentandhisknowledgeoftheworld;andhowhisperformanceshadmadehimridiculoustootherpeople;andhowitwashisintentionmakelovetoherselfifshegavehimthechanceThenshesaidthatmarriagewouldbethemakingofhim;anddrewaprettylittlepicture——allroseandopal——

  oftheMrsPlufflesofthefuturegoingthroughliferelyingonthe“judgment“and“knowledgeoftheworld“ofahusbandwhohadnothingtoreproachhimselfwithHowshereconciledthesetwostatementsshealoneknewButtheydidnotstrikePlufflesasconflicting。

  Herswasaperfectlittlehomily——muchbetterthananyclergymancouldhavegiven——anditendedwithtouchingallusionstoPluffles’

  MammaandPapa,andthewisdomoftakinghisbrideHome。

  ThenshesentPlufflesoutforawalk,tothinkoverwhatshehadsaidPlufflesleft,blowinghisnoseveryhardandholdinghimselfverystraightMrsHauksbeelaughed。

  WhatPluffleshadintendedtodointhematteroftheengagementonlyMrsReiverknew,andshekeptherowncounseltoherdeath。

  Shewouldhavelikeditspoiledasacompliment,Ifancy。

  PlufflesenjoyedmanytalkswithMrsHauksbeeduringthenextfewdaysTheywerealltothesameend,andtheyhelpedPlufflesinthepathofVirtue。

  MrsHauksbeewantedtokeephimunderherwingtothelast。

  ThereforeshediscountenancedhisgoingdowntoBombaytogetmarried“Goodnessonlyknowswhatmighthappenbytheway!”

  shesaid“PlufflesiscursedwiththecurseofReuben,andIndiaisnofitplaceforhim!”

  Intheend,thefianceearrivedwithheraunt;andPluffles,havingreducedhisaffairstosomesortoforder——hereagainMrs。

  Hauksbeehelpedhim——wasmarried。

  MrsHauksbeegaveasighofreliefwhenboththe“Iwills“hadbeensaid,andwentherway。

  PluffiestookheradviceaboutgoingHomeHelefttheService,andisnowraisingspeckledcattleinsidegreenpaintedfencessomewhereatHomeIbelievehedoesthisveryjudiciouslyHewouldhavecometoextremegriefouthere。

  ForthesereasonsifanyonesaysanythingmorethanusuallynastyaboutMrsHauksbee,tellhimthestoryoftheRescueofPluffles。

  CUPID’SARROWS。

  Pitwherethebuffalocooledhishide,Bythehotsunemptied,andblisteredanddried;

  Loginthereh-grass,hiddenandalone;

  Bundwheretheearth-rat’smoundsarestrown:

  Caveinthebankwheretheslystreamsteals;

  Aloethatstabsatthebellyandheels,Jumpifyoudareonasteeduntried——

  Saferitistogowide——gowide!

  Hark,frominfrontwherethebestmenride:——

  “Pulltotheoff,boys!Wide!Gowide!”

  ThePeoraHunt。

  OnceuponatimetherelivedatSimlaaveryprettygirl,thedaughterofapoorbuthonestDistrictandSessionsJudgeShewasagoodgirl,butcouldnothelpknowingherpowerandusingit。

  HerMammawasveryanxiousaboutherdaughter’sfuture,asallgoodMammasshouldbe。

  WhenamanisaCommissionerandabachelorandhastherightofwearingopen-workjam-tartjewelsingoldandenamelonhisclothes,andofgoingthroughadoorbeforeeveryoneexceptaMemberofCouncil,aLieutenant-Governor,oraViceroy,heisworthmarryingAtleast,thatiswhatladiessayTherewasaCommissionerinSimla,inthosedays,whowas,andwore,anddid,allIhavesaidHewasaplainman——anuglyman——theugliestmaninAsia,withtwoexceptionsHiswasafacetodreamaboutandtrytocarveonapipe-headafterwardsHisnamewasSaggott——

  Barr-Saggott——AnthonyBarr-Saggottandsixletterstofollow。

  Departmentally,hewasoneofthebestmentheGovernmentofIndiaownedSocially,hewaslikeablandishinggorilla。

  WhenheturnedhisattentionstoMissBeighton,IbelievethatMrs。

  BeightonweptwithdelightattherewardProvidencehadsentherinheroldage。

  MrBeightonheldhistongueHewasaneasy-goingman。

  NowaCommissionerisveryrichHispayisbeyondthedreamsofavarice——issoenormousthathecanaffordtosaveandscrapeinawaythatwouldalmostdiscreditaMemberofCouncilMostCommissionersaremean;butBarr-SaggottwasanexceptionHeentertainedroyally;hehorsedhimselfwell;hegavedances;hewasapowerintheland;andhebehavedassuch。

  ConsiderthateverythingIamwritingoftookplaceinanalmostpre-historicerainthehistoryofBritishIndiaSomefolkmayremembertheyearsbeforelawn-tenniswasbornwhenweallplayedcroquetTherewereseasonsbeforethat,ifyouwillbelieveme,whenevencroquethadnotbeeninvented,andarchery——whichwasrevivedinEnglandin1844——wasasgreatapestaslawn-tennisisnowPeopletalkedlearnedlyabout“holding“and“loosing。”

  “steles。”“reflexedbows。”“56-poundbows。”“backed“or“self-yewbows。”aswetalkabout“rallies。”“volleys。”“smashes。”“returns。”

  and“16-ouncerackets。”

  MissBeightonshotdivinelyoverladies’distance——60yards,thatis——andwasacknowledgedthebestladyarcherinSimlaMencalledher“DianaofTara-Devi。”

  Barr-Saggottpaidhergreatattention;and,asIhavesaid,theheartofhermotherwasupliftedinconsequenceKittyBeightontookmattersmorecalmlyItwaspleasanttobesingledoutbyaCommissionerwithlettersafterhisname,andtofilltheheartsofothergirlswithbadfeelingsButtherewasnodenyingthefactthatBarr-Saggottwasphenomenallyugly;andallhisattemptstoadornhimselfonlymadehimmoregrotesqueHewasnotchristened“TheLangur“——whichmeansgrayape——fornothingItwaspleasant,Kittythought,tohavehimatherfeet,butitwasbettertoescapefromhimandridewiththegracelessCubbon——themaninaDragoonRegimentatUmballa——theboywithahandsomeface,andnoprospectsKittylikedCubbonmorethanalittleHeneverpretendedforamomentthehewasanythinglessthanheadoverheelsinlovewithher;forhewasanhonestboySoKittyfled,nowandagain,fromthestatelywooingsofBarr-SaggotttothecompanyofyoungCubbon,andwasscoldedbyherMammainconsequence“But,Mother。”shesaid,“MrSaggotissuch——sucha——

  issoFEARFULLYugly,youknow!”

  “Mydear。”saidMrsBeighton,piously,“wecannotbeotherthananall-rulingProvidencehasmadeusBesides,youwilltakeprecedenceofyourownMother,youknow!Thinkofthatandbereasonable。”

  ThenKittyputupherlittlechinandsaidirreverentthingsaboutprecedence,andCommissioners,andmatrimonyMrBeightonrubbedthetopofhishead;forhewasaneasy-goingman。

  Lateintheseason,whenhejudgedthatthetimewasripe,Barr-

  SaggottdevelopedaplanwhichdidgreatcredittohisadministrativepowersHearrangedanarcherytournamentforladies,withamostsumptuousdiamond-studdedbraceletasprize。

  Hedrewuphistermsskilfully,andeveryonesawthatthebraceletwasagifttoMissBeighton;theacceptancecarryingwithitthehandandtheheartofCommissionerBarr-SaggottThetermswereaStLeonard’sRound——thirty-sixshotsatsixtyyards——undertherulesoftheSimlaToxophiliteSociety。

  AllSimlawasinvitedTherewerebeautifullyarrangedtea-tablesunderthedeodarsatAnnandale,wheretheGrandStandisnow;

  and,aloneinitsglory,winkinginthesun,satthediamondbraceletinabluevelvetcaseMissBeightonwasanxious——almosttooanxioustocompeteOntheappointedafternoon,allSimlarodedowntoAnnandaletowitnesstheJudgmentofParisturnedupsidedown。

  KittyrodewithyoungCubbon,anditwaseasytoseethattheboywastroubledinhismindHemustbeheldinnocentofeverythingthatfollowedKittywaspaleandnervous,andlookedlongatthebraceletBarr-Saggottwasgorgeouslydressed,evenmorenervousthanKitty,andmorehideousthanever。

  MrsBeightonsmiledcondescendingly,asbefittedthemotherofapotentialCommissioneress,andtheshootingbegan;alltheworldstandinginasemicircleastheladiescameoutoneaftertheother。

  NothingissotediousasanarcherycompetitionTheyshot,andtheyshot,andtheykeptonshooting,tillthesunleftthevalley,andlittlebreezesgotupinthedeodars,andpeoplewaitedforMissBeightontoshootandwinCubbonwasatonehornofthesemicircleroundtheshooters,andBarr-SaggottattheotherMissBeightonwaslastonthelistThescoringhadbeenweak,andthebracelet,PLUSCommissionerBarr-Saggott,washerstoacertainty。

  TheCommissionerstrungherbowwithhisownsacredhandsShesteppedforward,lookedatthebracelet,andherfirstarrowwenttruetoahair——fullintotheheartofthe“gold“——countingninepoints。

  YoungCubbonontheleftturnedwhite,andhisDevilpromptedBarr-

  SaggotttosmileNowhorsesusedtoshywhenBarr-Saggottsmiled。

  KittysawthatsmileShelookedtoherleft-front,gaveanalmostimperceptiblenodtoCubbon,andwentonshooting。

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