第110章
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  Thegreaterpartofthefearfulnighthadwornaway,andshewhohadbeendead,onceagainstirredandnowmorevigorouslythanhitherto,althougharousingfromadissolutionmoreappallinginitsutterhopelessnessthanany。Ihadlongceasedtostruggleortomove,andremainedsittingrigidlyupontheottoman,ahelplesspreytoawhirlofviolentemotions,ofwhichextremeawewasperhapstheleastterrible,theleastconsuming。Thecorpse,Irepeat,stirred,andnowmorevigorouslythanbefore。Thehuesoflifeflushedupwithunwontedenergyintothecountenancethelimbsrelaxedand,savethattheeyelidswereyetpressedheavilytogether,andthatthebandagesanddraperiesofthegravestillimpartedtheircharnelcharactertothefigure,ImighthavedreamedthatRowenahadindeedshakenoff,utterly,thefettersofDeath。Butifthisideawasnot,eventhen,altogetheradopted,Icouldatleastdoubtnolonger,when,arisingfromthebed,tottering,withfeeblesteps,withclosedeyes,andwiththemannerofonebewilderedinadream,thethingthatwasenshroudedadvancedboldlyandpalpablyintothemiddleoftheapartment。

  ItremblednotIstirrednotforacrowdofunutterablefanciesconnectedwiththeair,thestature,thedemeanorofthefigure,rushinghurriedlythroughmybrain,hadparalyzedhadchilledmeintostone。Istirrednotbutgazedupontheapparition。Therewasamaddisorderinmythoughtsatumultunappeasable。Couldit,indeed,bethelivingRowenawhoconfrontedme?CoulditindeedbeRowenaatallthefair-haired,theblue-eyedLadyRowenaTrevanionofTremaine?Why,whyshouldIdoubtit?ThebandagelayheavilyaboutthemouthbutthenmightitnotbethemouthofthebreathingLadyofTremaine?Andthecheeks-thereweretherosesasinhernoonoflifeyes,thesemightindeedbethefaircheeksofthelivingLadyofTremaine。Andthechin,withitsdimples,asinhealth,mightitnotbehers?buthadshethengrowntallersincehermalady?Whatinexpressiblemadnessseizedmewiththatthought?

  Onebound,andIhadreachedherfeet!Shrinkingfrommytouch,sheletfallfromherhead,unloosened,theghastlycerementswhichhadconfinedit,andtherestreamedforth,intotherushingatmosphereofthechamber,hugemassesoflonganddishevelledhair;itwasblackerthantheravenwingsofthemidnight!Andnowslowlyopenedtheeyesofthefigurewhichstoodbeforeme。“Herethen,atleast。”I

  shriekedaloud,“canInevercanIneverbemistakenthesearethefull,andtheblack,andthewildeyesofmylostloveoftheladyofthe

  Itself,byitself,solely,oneeverlasting,andsingle。

  WITHafeelingofdeepyetmostsingularaffectionIregardedmyfriendMorella。Thrownbyaccidentintohersocietymanyyearsago,mysoulfromourfirstmeeting,burnedwithfiresithadneverbeforeknown;butthefireswerenotofEros,andbitterandtormentingtomyspiritwasthegradualconvictionthatIcouldinnomannerdefinetheirunusualmeaningorregulatetheirvagueintensity。Yetwemet;

  andfateboundustogetheratthealtar,andIneverspokeofpassionnorthoughtoflove。She,however,shunnedsociety,and,attachingherselftomealonerenderedmehappy。Itisahappinesstowonder;

  itisahappinesstodream。

  Morella’seruditionwasprofound。AsIhopetolive,hertalentswereofnocommonorderherpowersofmindweregigantic。Ifeltthis,and,inmanymatters,becameherpupil。Isoon,however,foundthat,perhapsonaccountofherPresburgeducation,sheplacedbeforemeanumberofthosemysticalwritingswhichareusuallyconsideredthemeredrossoftheearlyGermanliterature。These,forwhatreasonI

  couldnotimagine,wereherfavouriteandconstantstudyandthatinprocessoftimetheybecamemyown,shouldbeattributedtothesimplebuteffectualinfluenceofhabitandexample。

  Inallthis,ifIerrnot,myreasonhadlittletodo。Myconvictions,orIforgetmyself,wereinnomanneracteduponbytheideal,norwasanytinctureofthemysticismwhichIreadtobediscovered,unlessIamgreatlymistaken,eitherinmydeedsorinmythoughts。Persuadedofthis,Iabandonedmyselfimplicitlytotheguidanceofmywife,andenteredwithanunflinchingheartintotheintricaciesofherstudies。Andthenthen,whenporingoverforbiddenpages,Ifeltaforbiddenspiritenkindlingwithinme

  wouldMorellaplacehercoldhanduponmyown,andrakeupfromtheashesofadeadphilosophysomelow,singularwords,whosestrangemeaningburnedthemselvesinuponmymemory。Andthen,hourafterhour,wouldIlingerbyherside,anddwelluponthemusicofhervoice,untilatlengthitsmelodywastaintedwithterror,andtherefellashadowuponmysoul,andIgrewpale,andshudderedinwardlyatthosetoounearthlytones。Andthus,joysuddenlyfadedintohorror,andthemostbeautifulbecamethemosthideous,asHinnonbecameGe-Henna。

  Itisunnecessarytostatetheexactcharacterofthosedisquisitionswhich,growingoutofthevolumesIhavementioned,formed,forsolongatime,almostthesoleconversationofMorellaandmyself。Bythelearnedinwhatmightbetermedtheologicalmoralitytheywillbereadilyconceived,andbytheunlearnedtheywould,atallevents,belittleunderstood。ThewildPantheismofFichte;themodifiedPaliggenediaofthePythagoreans;and,aboveall,thedoctrinesofIdentityasurgedbySchelling,weregenerallythepointsofdiscussionpresentingthemostofbeautytotheimaginativeMorella。

  Thatidentitywhichistermedpersonal,Mr。Locke,Ithink,trulydefinestoconsistinthesanenessofrationalbeing。Andsincebypersonweunderstandanintelligentessencehavingreason,andsincethereisaconsciousnesswhichalwaysaccompaniesthinking,itisthiswhichmakesusalltobethatwhichwecallourselves,therebydistinguishingusfromotherbeingsthatthink,andgivingusourpersonalidentity。Buttheprincipiumindivduationis,thenotionofthatidentitywhichatdeathisorisnotlostforever,wastome,atalltimes,aconsiderationofintenseinterest;notmorefromtheperplexingandexcitingnatureofitsconsequences,thanfromthemarkedandagitatedmannerinwhichMorellamentionedthem。

  But,indeed,thetimehadnowarrivedwhenthemysteryofmywife’smanneroppressedmeasaspell。Icouldnolongerbearthetouchofherwanfingers,northelowtoneofhermusicallanguage,northelustreofhermelancholyeyes。Andsheknewallthis,butdidnotupbraid;sheseemedconsciousofmyweaknessormyfolly,and,smiling,calleditfate。Sheseemedalsoconsciousofacause,tomeunknown,forthegradualalienationofmyregard;butshegavemenohintortokenofitsnature。Yetwasshewoman,andpinedawaydaily。

  Intimethecrimsonspotsettledsteadilyuponthecheek,andtheblueveinsuponthepaleforeheadbecameprominent;andoneinstantmynaturemeltedintopity,butin,nextImettheglanceofhermeaningeyes,andthenmysoulsickenedandbecamegiddywiththegiddinessofonewhogazesdownwardintosomedrearyandunfathomableabyss。

  ShallIthensaythatIlongedwithanearnestandconsumingdesireforthemomentofMorella’sdecease?Idid;butthefragilespiritclungtoitstenementofclayformanydays,formanyweeksandirksomemonths,untilmytorturednervesobtainedthemasteryovermymind,andIgrewfuriousthroughdelay,and,withtheheartofafiend,cursedthedaysandthehoursandthebittermoments,whichseemedtolengthenandlengthenashergentlelifedeclined,likeshadowsinthedyingoftheday。

  Butoneautumnalevening,whenthewindslaystillinheaven,Morellacalledmetoherbedside。Therewasadimmistoveralltheearth,andawarmglowuponthewaters,andamidtherichOctoberleavesoftheforest,arainbowfromthefirmamenthadsurelyfallen。

  “Itisadayofdays。”shesaid,asIapproached;“adayofalldayseithertoliveordie。Itisafairdayforthesonsofearthandlifeah,morefairforthedaughtersofheavenanddeath!”

  Ikissedherforehead,andshecontinued:

  “Iamdying,yetshallIlive。”

  “Morella!”

  “Thedayshaveneverbeenwhenthoucouldstlovemebutherwhominlifethoudidstabhor,indeaththoushaltadore。”

  “Morella!”

  “IrepeatIamdying。Butwithinmeisapledgeofthataffection

  ah,howlittle!whichthoudidstfeelforme,Morella。Andwhenmyspiritdepartsshallthechildlivethychildandmine,Morella’s。

  Butthydaysshallbedaysofsorrowthatsorrowwhichisthemostlastingofimpressions,asthecypressisthemostenduringoftrees。

  Forthehoursofthyhappinessareoverandjoyisnotgatheredtwiceinalife,astherosesofPaestumtwiceinayear。Thoushaltnolonger,then,playtheTeianwithtime,but,beingignorantofthemyrtleandthevine,thoushaltbearaboutwiththeethyshroudontheearth,asdotheMosleminatMecca。”

  “Morella!”Icried,“Morella!howknowestthouthis?”butsheturnedawayherfaceuponthepillowandaslighttremorcomingoverherlimbs,shethusdied,andIheardhervoicenomore。

  Yet,asshehadforetold,herchild,towhichindyingshehadgivenbirth,whichbreathednotuntilthemotherbreathednomore,herchild,adaughter,lived。Andshegrewstrangelyinstatureandintellect,andwastheperfectresemblanceofherwhohaddeparted,andIlovedherwithalovemoreferventthanIhadbelieveditpossibletofeelforanydenizenofearth。

  But,erelongtheheavenofthispureaffectionbecamedarkened,andgloom,andhorror,andgriefsweptoveritinclouds。Isaidthechildgrewstrangelyinstatureandintelligence。Strange,indeed,washerrapidincreaseinbodilysize,butterrible,oh!terriblewerethetumultuousthoughtswhichcrowdeduponmewhilewatchingthedevelopmentofhermentalbeing。Coulditbeotherwise,whenIdailydiscoveredintheconceptionsofthechildtheadultpowersandfacultiesofthewoman?whenthelessonsofexperiencefellfromthelipsofinfancy?andwhenthewisdomorthepassionsofmaturityI

  foundhourlygleamingfromitsfullandspeculativeeye?When,Isay,allthisbeeameevidenttomyappalledsenses,whenIcouldnolongerhideitfrommysoul,northrowitofffromthoseperceptionswhichtrembledtoreceiveit,isittobewonderedatthatsuspicions,ofanaturefearfulandexciting,creptinuponmyspirit,orthatmythoughtsfellbackaghastuponthewildtalesandthrillingtheoriesoftheentombedMorella?Isnatchedfromthescrutinyoftheworldabeingwhomdestinycompelledmetoadore,andintherigorousseclusionofmyhome,watchedwithanagonizinganxietyoverallwhichconcernedthebeloved。

  Andasyearsrolledaway,andIgazeddayafterdayuponherholy,andmild,andeloquentface,andpouredoverhermaturingform,dayafterdaydidIdiscovernewpointsofresemblanceinthechildtohermother,themelancholyandthedead。Andhourlygrewdarkertheseshadowsofsimilitude,andmorefull,andmoredefinite,andmoreperplexing,andmorehideouslyterribleintheiraspect。Forthathersmilewaslikehermother’sIcouldbear;butthenIshudderedatitstooperfectidentity,thathereyeswerelikeMorella’sIcouldendure;butthenthey,too,oftenlookeddownintothedepthsofmysoulwithMorella’sownintenseandbewilderingmeaning。Andinthecontourofthehighforehead,andintheringletsofthesilkenhair,andinthewanfingerswhichburiedthemselvestherein,andinthesadmusicaltonesofherspeech,andabovealloh,aboveall,inthephrasesandexpressionsofthedeadonthelipsofthelovedandtheliving,Ifoundfoodforconsumingthoughtandhorror,forawormthatwouldnotdie。

  Thuspassedawaytwolustraofherlife,andasyetmydaughterremainednamelessupontheearth。“Mychild。”and“mylove。”werethedesignationsusuallypromptedbyafather’saffection,andtherigidseclusionofherdaysprecludedallotherintercourse。Morella’snamediedwithheratherdeath。OfthemotherIhadneverspokentothedaughter,itwasimpossibletospeak。Indeed,duringthebriefperiodofherexistence,thelatterhadreceivednoimpressionsfromtheoutwardworld,savesuchasmighthavebeenaffordedbythenarrowlimitsofherprivacy。Butatlengththeceremonyofbaptismpresentedtomymind,initsunnervedandagitatedcondition,apresentdeliverancefromtheterrorsofmydestiny。AndatthebaptismalfontIhesitatedforaname。Andmanytitlesofthewiseandbeautiful,ofoldandmoderntimes,ofmyownandforeignlands,camethrongingtomylips,withmany,manyfairtitlesofthegentle,andthehappy,andthegood。Whatpromptedmethentodisturbthememoryoftheburieddead?Whatdemonurgedmetobreathethatsound,whichinitsveryrecollectionwaswonttomakeebbthepurplebloodintorrentsfromthetemplestotheheart?Whatfiendspokefromtherecessesofmysoul,whenamidthosedimaisles,andinthesilenceofthenight,IwhisperedwithintheearsoftheholymanthesyllablesMorella?Whatmorethanfiendconvulsedthefeaturesofmychild,andoverspreadthemwithhuesofdeath,asstartingatthatscarcelyaudiblesound,sheturnedherglassyeyesfromtheearthtoheaven,andfallingprostrateontheblackslabsofourancestralvault,responded“Iamhere!”

  Distinct,coldly,calmlydistinct,fellthosefewsimplesoundswithinmyear,andthencelikemoltenleadrolledhissinglyintomybrain。Yearsyearsmaypassaway,butthememoryofthatepochnever。NorwasIindeedignorantoftheflowersandthevinebutthehemlockandthecypressovershadowedmenightandday。AndIkeptnoreckoningoftimeorplace,andthestarsofmyfatefadedfromheaven,andthereforetheearthgrewdark,anditsfigurespassedbymelikeflittingshadows,andamongthemallIbeheldonly

  Morella。Thewindsofthefirmamentbreathedbutonesoundwithinmyears,andtheripplesupontheseamurmuredevermoreMorella。Butshedied;andwithmyownhandsIborehertothetomb;andIlaughedwithalongandbitterlaughasIfoundnotracesofthefirstinthechannelwhereIlaidthesecond。Morella。

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