Chacunasesvertus。
_Crebillon’sXerxes。_
ANTIOCHUSEPIPHANESisverygenerallylookeduponastheGogoftheprophetEzekiel。Thishonoris，however，moreproperlyattributabletoCambyses，thesonofCyrus。And，indeed，thecharacteroftheSyrianmonarchdoesbynomeansstandinneedofanyadventitiousembellishment。Hisaccessiontothethrone，orratherhisusurpationofthesovereignty，ahundredandseventy-oneyearsbeforethecomingofChrist；hisattempttoplunderthetempleofDianaatEphesus；hisimplacablehostilitytotheJews；hispollutionoftheHolyofHolies；andhismiserabledeathatTaba，afteratumultuousreignofelevenyears，arecircumstancesofaprominentkind，andthereforemoregenerallynoticedbythehistoriansofhistimethantheimpious，dastardly，cruel，silly，andwhimsicalachievementswhichmakeupthesumtotalofhisprivatelifeandreputation。
Letussuppose，gentlereader，thatitisnowtheyearoftheworldthreethousandeighthundredandthirty，andletus，forafewminutes，imagineourselvesatthatmostgrotesquehabitationofman，theremarkablecityofAntioch。Tobesuretherewere，inSyriaandothercountries，sixteencitiesofthatappellation，besidestheonetowhichImoreparticularlyallude。ButoursisthatwhichwentbythenameofAntiochiaEpidaphne，fromitsvicinitytothelittlevillageofDaphne，wherestoodatempletothatdivinity。ItwasbuiltalthoughaboutthismatterthereissomedisputebySeleucusNicanor，thefirstkingofthecountryafterAlexandertheGreat，inmemoryofhisfatherAntiochus，andbecameimmediatelytheresidenceoftheSyrianmonarchy。IntheflourishingtimesoftheRomanEmpire，itwastheordinarystationoftheprefectoftheeasternprovinces；
andmanyoftheemperorsofthequeencityamongwhommaybementioned，especially，VerusandValensspentherethegreaterpartoftheirtime。ButIperceivewehavearrivedatthecityitself。Letusascendthisbattlement，andthrowoureyesuponthetownandneighboringcountry。
“Whatbroadandrapidriveristhatwhichforcesitsway，withinnumerablefalls，throughthemountainouswilderness，andfinallythroughthewildernessofbuildings？”
ThatistheOrontes，anditistheonlywaterinsight，withtheexceptionoftheMediterranean，whichstretches，likeabroadmirror，abouttwelvemilesofftothesouthward。EveryonehasseentheMediterranean；butletmetellyou，therearefewwhohavehadapeepatAntioch。Byfew，Imean，fewwho，likeyouandme，havehad，atthesametime，theadvantagesofamoderneducation。Thereforeceasetoregardthatsea，andgiveyourwholeattentiontothemassofhousesthatliebeneathus。Youwillrememberthatitisnowtheyearoftheworldthreethousandeighthundredandthirty。Wereitlaterforexample，wereittheyearofourLordeighteenhundredandforty-five，weshouldbedeprivedofthisextraordinaryspectacle。InthenineteenthcenturyAntiochisthatistosay，Antiochwillbeinalamentablestateofdecay。Itwillhavebeen，bythattime，totallydestroyed，atthreedifferentperiods，bythreesuccessiveearthquakes。Indeed，tosaythetruth，whatlittleofitsformerselfmaythenremain，willbefoundinsodesolateandruinousastatethatthepatriarchshallhaveremovedhisresidencetoDamascus。Thisiswell。Iseeyouprofitbymyadvice，andaremakingthemostofyourtimeininspectingthepremisesin-satisfyingyoureyesWiththememorialsandthethingsoffameThatmostrenownthiscity-
Ibegpardon；IhadforgottenthatShakespearewillnotflourishforseventeenhundredandfiftyyearstocome。ButdoesnottheappearanceofEpidaphnejustifymeincallingitgrotesque？
“Itiswellfortified；andinthisrespectisasmuchindebtedtonatureastoart。”
Verytrue。
“Thereareaprodigiousnumberofstatelypalaces。”
Thereare。
“Andthenumeroustemples，sumptuousandmagnificent，maybearcomparisonwiththemostlaudedofantiquity。”
AllthisImustacknowledge。Stillthereisaninfinityofmudhuts，andabominablehovels。Wecannothelpperceivingabundanceoffilthineverykennel，and，wereitnotfortheover-poweringfumesofidolatrousincense，Ihavenodoubtweshouldfindamostintolerablestench。Didyoueverbeholdstreetssoinsufferablynarrow，orhousessomiraculouslytall？Whatgloomtheirshadowscastupontheground！
Itiswelltheswinginglampsinthoseendlesscolonnadesarekeptburningthroughouttheday；weshouldotherwisehavethedarknessofEgyptinthetimeofherdesolation。
“Itiscertainlyastrangeplace！Whatisthemeaningofyondersingularbuilding？See！ittowersaboveallothers，andliestotheeastwardofwhatItaketobetheroyalpalace。”
ThatisthenewTempleoftheSun，whoisadoredinSyriaunderthetitleofElahGabalah。HereafteraverynotoriousRomanEmperorwillinstitutethisworshipinRome，andthencederiveacognomen，Heliogabalus。Idaresayyouwouldliketotakeapeepatthedivinityofthetemple。Youneednotlookupattheheavens；hisSunshipisnotthereatleastnottheSunshipadoredbytheSyrians。Thatdeitywillbefoundintheinteriorofyonderbuilding。
Heisworshippedunderthefigureofalargestonepillarterminatingatthesummitinaconeorpyramid，wherebyisdenotedFire。
“Harkbehold！whocanthoseridiculousbeingsbe，halfnaked，withtheirfacespainted，shoutingandgesticulatingtotherabble？”
Somefewaremountebanks。Othersmoreparticularlybelongtotheraceofphilosophers。Thegreatestportion，howeverthoseespeciallywhobelaborthepopulacewithclubsaretheprincipalcourtiersofthepalace，executingasindutybound，somelaudablecomicalityoftheking’s。
“Butwhathavewehere？Heavens！thetownisswarmingwithwildbeasts！Howterribleaspectacle！howdangerousapeculiarity！”
Terrible，ifyouplease；butnotintheleastdegreedangerous。Eachanimalifyouwilltakethepainstoobserve，isfollowing，veryquietly，inthewakeofitsmaster。Somefew，tobesure，areledwitharopeabouttheneck，butthesearechieflythelesserortimidspecies。Thelion，thetiger，andtheleopardareentirelywithoutrestraint。Theyhavebeentrainedwithoutdifficultytotheirpresentprofession，andattendupontheirrespectiveownersinthecapacityofvalets-de-chambre。Itistrue，thereareoccasionswhenNatureassertsherviolateddominions；butthenthedevouringofaman-at-arms，orthethrottlingofaconsecratedbull，isacircumstanceoftoolittlemomenttobemorethanhintedatinEpidaphne。
“ButwhatextraordinarytumultdoIhear？SurelythisisaloudnoiseevenforAntioch！Itarguessomecommotionofunusualinterest。”
Yesundoubtedly。ThekinghasorderedsomenovelspectaclesomegladiatorialexhibitionatthehippodromeorperhapsthemassacreoftheScythianprisonersortheconflagrationofhisnewpalaceorthetearingdownofahandsometempleor，indeed，abonfireofafewJews。Theuproarincreases。Shoutsoflaughterascendtheskies。Theairbecomesdissonantwithwindinstruments，andhorriblewithclamorofamillionthroats。Letusdescend，fortheloveoffun，andseewhatisgoingon！Thiswaybecareful！Hereweareintheprincipalstreet，whichiscalledthestreetofTimarchus。Theseaofpeopleiscomingthisway，andweshallfindadifficultyinstemmingthetide。TheyarepouringthroughthealleyofHeraclides，whichleadsdirectlyfromthepalace；thereforethekingismostprobablyamongtherioters。Yes；IheartheshoutsoftheheraldproclaiminghisapproachinthepompousphraseologyoftheEast。WeshallhaveaglimpseofhispersonashepassesbythetempleofAshimah。Letusensconceourselvesinthevestibuleofthesanctuary；
hewillbehereanon。Inthemeantimeletussurveythisimage。Whatisit？Oh！itisthegodAshimahinproperperson。Youperceive，however，thatheisneitheralamb，noragoat，norasatyr，neitherhashemuchresemblancetothePanoftheArcadians。YetalltheseappearanceshavebeengivenIbegpardonwillbegivenbythelearnedoffutureages，totheAshimahoftheSyrians。Putonyourspectacles，andtellmewhatitis。Whatisit？
“Blessme！itisanape！”
Trueababoon；butbynomeansthelessadeity。HisnameisaderivationoftheGreekSimiawhatgreatfoolsareantiquarians！
Butsee！see！yonderscampersaraggedlittleurchin。Whereishegoing？Whatishebawlingabout？Whatdoeshesay？Oh！hesaysthekingiscomingintriumph；thatheisdressedinstate；thathehasjustfinishedputtingtodeath，withhisownhand，athousandchainedIsraelitishprisoners！Forthisexploittheragamuffinislaudinghimtotheskies。Hark！herecomesatroopofasimilardescription。TheyhavemadeaLatinhymnuponthevaloroftheking，andaresingingitastheygo：
Mille，mille，mille，Mille，mille，mille，Decollavimus，unushomo！
Mille，mille，mille，mille，decollavimus！
Mille，mille，mille，Vivatquimillemilleoccidit！
TantumvinihabetnemoQuantumsanguiniseffudit！{*1}
Whichmaybethusparaphrased：
Athousand，athousand，athousand，Athousand，athousand，athousand，We，withonewarrior，haveslain！
Athousand，athousand，athousand，athousand。
Singathousandoveragain！
Soho！letussingLonglifetoourking，Whoknockedoverathousandsofine！
Soho！letusroar，HehasgivenusmoreRedgallonsofgoreThanallSyriacanfurnishofwine！
“Doyouhearthatflourishoftrumpets？”
Yes：thekingiscoming！See！thepeopleareaghastwithadmiration，andliftuptheireyestotheheavensinreverence。Hecomes；heiscoming；thereheis！
“Who？where？theking？donotbeholdhimcannotsaythatIperceivehim。”
Thenyoumustbeblind。
“Verypossible。StillIseenothingbutatumultuousmobofidiotsandmadmen，whoarebusyinprostratingthemselvesbeforeagiganticcameleopard，andendeavoringtoobtainakissoftheanimal’shoofs。
See！thebeasthasveryjustlykickedoneoftherabbleoverandanotherandanotherandanother。Indeed，Icannothelpadmiringtheanimalfortheexcellentuseheismakingofhisfeet。”
Rabble，indeed！whythesearethenobleandfreecitizensofEpidaphne！Beasts，didyousay？takecarethatyouarenotoverheard。Doyounotperceivethattheanimalhasthevisageofaman？Why，mydearsir，thatcameleopardisnootherthanAntiochusEpiphanes，AntiochustheIllustrious，KingofSyria，andthemostpotentofalltheautocratsoftheEast！Itistrue，thatheisentitled，attimes，AntiochusEpimanesAntiochusthemadmanbutthatisbecauseallpeoplehavenotthecapacitytoappreciatehismerits。Itisalsocertainthatheisatpresentensconcedinthehideofabeast，andisdoinghisbesttoplaythepartofacameleopard；butthisisdoneforthebettersustaininghisdignityasking。Besides，themonarchisofgiganticstature，andthedressisthereforeneitherunbecomingnoroverlarge。Wemay，however，presumehewouldnothaveadopteditbutforsomeoccasionofespecialstate。Such，youwillallow，isthemassacreofathousandJews。Withhowsuperioradignitythemonarchperambulatesonallfours！Histail，youperceive，isheldaloftbyhistwoprincipalconcubines，EllineandArgelais；andhiswholeappearancewouldbeinfinitelyprepossessing，wereitnotfortheprotuberanceofhiseyes，whichwillcertainlystartoutofhishead，andthequeercolorofhisface，whichhasbecomenondescriptfromthequantityofwinehehasswallowed。Letusfollowhimtothehippodrome，whitherheisproceeding，andlistentothesongoftriumphwhichheiscommencing：
WhoiskingbutEpiphanes？
Saydoyouknow？
WhoiskingbutEpiphanes？
Bravo！bravo！
ThereisnonebutEpiphanes，Nothereisnone：
Soteardownthetemples，Andputoutthesun！
Wellandstrenuouslysung！Thepopulacearehailinghim’PrinceofPoets，’aswellas’GloryoftheEast，’’DelightoftheUniverse，’
and’MostRemarkableofCameleopards。’Theyhaveencoredhiseffusion，anddoyouhear？heissingingitoveragain。Whenhearrivesatthehippodrome，hewillbecrownedwiththepoeticwreath，inanticipationofhisvictoryattheapproachingOlympics。