第42章
加入书架 A- A+
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  Ifhewastogetthebitbetweenhisteethafterhehadgotordainedandboughthisliving,hewouldplaymorepranksthaneverhe,Theobald,haddone。Thefact,doubtless,ofhisbeingordainedandhavingboughtalivingwouldgoalongwaytosteadyhim,andifhemarried,hiswifemustseetotherest;thiswashisonlychanceand,todojusticetohissagacity,Theobaldinhisheartdidnotthinkveryhighlyofit。

  WhenErnestcamedowntoBattersbyinJune,heimprudentlytriedtoopenupamoreunreservedcommunicationwithhisfatherthanwashiswont。ThefirstofErnest’ssnipe-likeflightsonbeingflushedbyMrHawke’ssermonwasinthedirectionofultra-evangelicalism。

  TheobaldhimselfhadbeenmuchmoreLowthanHighChurch。Thiswasthenormaldevelopmentofthecountryclergymanduringthefirstyearsofhisclericallife,between,wewillsay,theyears1825to1850;buthewasnotpreparedforthealmostcontemptwithwhichErnestnowregardedthedoctrinesofbaptismalregenerationandpriestlyabsolutionHoitytoity,indeed,whatbusinesshadhewithsuchquestions?,norforhisdesiretofindsomemeansofreconcilingMethodismandtheChurch。TheobaldhatedtheChurchofRome,buthehateddissenterstoo,forhefoundthemasageneralruletroublesomepeopletodealwith;healwaysfoundpeoplewhodidnotagreewithhimtroublesometodealwith:besides,theysetupforknowingasmuchashedid;neverthelessifhehadbeenletalonehewouldhaveleanedtowardsthemratherthantowardstheHighChurchparty。Theneighbouringclergy,however,wouldnotlethimalone。Onebyonetheyhadcomeundertheinfluence,directlyorindirectly,oftheOxfordmovementwhichhadbeguntwentyyearsearlier。ItwassurprisinghowmanypracticeshenowtoleratedwhichinhisyouthhewouldhaveconsideredPopish;heknewverywellthereforewhichwaythingsweregoinginChurchmatters,andsawthatasusualErnestwassettinghimselftheotherway。Theopportunityfortellinghissonthathewasafoolwastoofavourablenottobeembraced,andTheobaldwasnotslowtoembraceit。Ernestwasannoyedandsurprised,forhadnothisfatherandmotherbeenwantinghimtobemorereligiousallhislife?Nowthathehadbecomesotheywerestillnotsatisfied。Hesaidtohimselfthataprophetwasnotwithouthonoursaveinhisowncountry,buthehadbeenlately——orratheruntillately——gettingintoanodioushabitofturningproverbsupsidedown,anditoccurredtohimthatacountryissometimesnotwithouthonoursaveforitsownprophet。

  Thenhelaughed,andfortherestofthedayfeltmoreasheusedtofeelbeforehehadheardMrHawke’ssermon。

  HereturnedtoCambridgefortheLongVacationof1858——nonetoosoon,forhehadtogoinfortheVoluntaryTheologicalExamination,whichbishopswerenowbeginningtoinsistupon。Heimaginedallthetimehewasreadingthathewasstoringhimselfwiththeknowledgethatwouldbestfithimfortheworkhehadtakeninhand。

  Intruth,hewascrammingforapass。Induetimehedidpass——

  creditably,andwasordainedDeaconwithhalf-a-dozenothersofhisfriendsintheautumnof1858。Hewasthenjusttwenty-threeyearsold。

  ErnesthadbeenordainedtoacuracyinoneofthecentralpartsofLondon。HehardlyknewanythingofLondonyet,buthisinstinctsdrewhimthither。Thedayafterhewasordainedheentereduponhisduties——feelingmuchashisfatherhaddonewhenhefoundhimselfboxedupinthecarriagewithChristinaonthemorningofhismarriage。Beforethefirstthreedayswereover,hebecameawarethatthelightofthehappinesswhichhehadknownduringhisfouryearsatCambridgehadbeenextinguished,andhewasappalledbytheirrevocablenatureofthestepwhichhenowfeltthathehadtakenmuchtoohurriedly。

  ThemostcharitableexcusethatIcanmakeforthevagarieswhichitwillnowbemydutytochronicleisthattheshockofchangeconsequentuponhisbecomingsuddenlyreligious,beingordainedandleavingCambridge,hadbeentoomuchformyhero,andhadforthetimethrownhimoffanequilibriumwhichwasyetlittlesupportedbyexperience,andthereforeasamatterofcourseunstable。

  Everyonehasamassofbadworkinhimwhichhewillhavetoworkoffandgetridofbeforehecandobetter——andindeed,themorelastingaman’sultimategoodworkis,themoresureheistopassthroughatime,andperhapsaverylongone,inwhichthereseemsverylittlehopeforhimatall。Wemustallsowourspiritualwildoats。ThefaultIfeelpersonallydisposedtofindwithmygodsonisnotthathehadwildoatstosow,butthattheyweresuchanexceedinglytameanduninterestingcrop。Thesenseofhumourandtendencytothinkforhimself,ofwhichtillafewmonthspreviouslyhehadbeenshowingfairpromise,werenippedasthoughbyalatefrost,whilehisearlierhabitoftakingontrusteverythingthatwastoldhimbythoseinauthority,andfollowingeverythingouttothebitterend,nomatterhowpreposterous,returnedwithredoubledstrength。IsupposethiswaswhatmighthavebeenexpectedfromanyoneplacedasErnestnowwas,especiallywhenhisantecedentsareremembered,butitsurprisedanddisappointedsomeofhiscooler-

  headedCambridgefriendswhohadbeguntothinkwellofhisability。

  Tohimselfitseemedthatreligionwasincompatiblewithhalfmeasures,orevenwithcompromise。Circumstanceshadledtohisbeingordained;forthemomenthewassorrytheyhad,buthehaddoneitandmustgothroughwithit。Hethereforesethimselftofindoutwhatwasexpectedofhim,andtoactaccordingly。

  HisrectorwasamoderateHighChurchmanofnoverypronouncedviews——anelderlymanwhohadhadtoomanycuratesnottohavelongsincefoundoutthattheconnectionbetweenrectorandcurate,likethatbetweenemployerandemployedineveryotherwalkoflife,wasamerematterofbusiness。Hehadnowtwocurates,ofwhomErnestwasthejunior;theseniorcuratewasnamedPryer,andwhenthisgentlemanmadeadvances,ashepresentlydid,Ernestinhisforlornstatewasdelightedtomeetthem。

  Pryerwasabouttwenty-eightyearsold。HehadbeenatEtonandatOxford。Hewastall,andpassedgenerallyforgood-looking;Ionlysawhimonceforaboutfiveminutes,andthenthoughthimodiousbothinmannersandappearance。PerhapsitwasbecausehecaughtmeupinawayIdidnotlike。IhadquotedShakespeareforlackofsomethingbettertofillupasentence——andhadsaidthatonetouchofnaturemadethewholeworldkin。“Ah。”saidPryer,inabold,brazenwaywhichdispleasedme,“butonetouchoftheunnaturalmakesitmorekindredstill。”andhegavemealookasthoughhethoughtmeanoldboreanddidnotcaretwostrawswhetherIwasshockedornot。Naturallyenough,afterthisIdidnotlikehim。

  This,however,isanticipating,foritwasnottillErnesthadbeenthreeorfourmonthsinLondonthatIhappenedtomeethisfellow-

  curate,andImustdealhereratherwiththeeffectheproduceduponmygodsonthanuponmyself。Besidesbeingwhatwasgenerallyconsideredgood-looking,hewasfaultlessinhisget-up,andaltogetherthekindofmanwhomErnestwassuretobeafraidofandyetbetakeninby。ThestyleofhisdresswasveryHighChurch,andhisacquaintanceswereexclusivelyoftheextremeHighChurchparty,buthekepthisviewsagooddealinthebackgroundinhisrector’spresence,andthatgentleman,thoughhelookedaskanceonsomeofPryer’sfriends,hadnosuchgroundofcomplaintagainsthimastomakehimsevertheconnection。Pryer,too,waspopularinthepulpit,and,takehimallround,itwasprobablethatmanyworsecurateswouldbefoundforonebetter。WhenPryercalledonmyhero,assoonasthetwowerealonetogether,heeyedhimalloverwithaquickpenetratingglanceandseemednotdissatisfiedwiththeresult——forImustsayherethatErnesthadimprovedinpersonalappearanceunderthemoregenialtreatmenthehadreceivedatCambridge。Pryer,infact,approvedofhimsufficientlytotreathimcivilly,andErnestwasimmediatelywonbyanyonewhodidthis。

  ItwasnotlongbeforehediscoveredthattheHighChurchparty,andevenRomeitself,hadmoretosayforthemselvesthanhehadthought。Thiswashisfirstsnipe-likechangeofflight。

  Pryerintroducedhimtoseveralofhisfriends。Theywereallofthemyoungclergymen,belongingasIhavesaidtothehighestoftheHighChurchschool,butErnestwassurprisedtofindhowmuchtheyresembledotherpeoplewhenamongthemselves。Thiswasashocktohim;itwaserelongastillgreateronetofindthatcertainthoughtswhichhehadwarredagainstasfataltohissoul,andwhichhehadimaginedheshouldloseonceforallonordination,werestillastroublesometohimastheyhadbeen;healsosawplainlyenoughthattheyounggentlemenwhoformedthecircleofPryer’sfriendswereinmuchthesameunhappypredicamentashimself。

  Thiswasdeplorable。TheonlywayoutofitthatErnestcouldseewasthatheshouldgetmarriedatonce。Butthenhedidnotknowanyonewhomhewantedtomarry。Hedidnotknowanywoman,infact,whomhewouldnotratherdiethanmarry。IthadbeenoneofTheobald’sandChristina’smainobjectstokeephimoutofthewayofwomen,andtheyhadsofarsucceededthatwomenhadbecometohimmysterious,inscrutableobjectstobetoleratedwhenitwasimpossibletoavoidthem,butnevertobesoughtoutorencouraged。

  Asforanymanloving,orevenbeingatallfondofanywoman,hesupposeditwasso,buthebelievedthegreaternumberofthosewhoprofessedsuchsentimentswereliars。Now,however,itwasclearthathehadhopedagainsthopetoolong,andthattheonlythingtodowastogoandaskthefirstwomanwhowouldlistentohimtocomeandbemarriedtohimassoonaspossible。

  HebroachedthistoPryer,andwassurprisedtofindthatthisgentleman,thoughattentivetosuchmembersofhisflockaswereyoungandgood-looking,wasstronglyinfavourofthecelibacyoftheclergy,asindeedweretheotherdemureyoungclericstowhomPryerhadintroducedErnest。

  “Youknow,mydearPontifex。”saidPryertohim,somefewweeksafterErnesthadbecomeacquaintedwithhim,whenthetwoweretakingaconstitutionalonedayinKensingtonGardens,“Youknow,mydearPontifex,itisallverywelltoquarrelwithRome,butRomehasreducedthetreatmentofthehumansoultoascience,whileourownChurch,thoughsomuchpurerinmanyrespects,hasnoorganisedsystemeitherofdiagnosisorpathology——Imean,ofcourse,spiritualdiagnosisandspiritualpathology。OurChurchdoesnotprescriberemediesuponanysettledsystem,and,whatisstillworse,evenwhenherphysicianshaveaccordingtotheirlightsascertainedthediseaseandpointedouttheremedy,shehasnodisciplinewhichwillensureitsbeingactuallyapplied。Ifourpatientsdonotchoosetodoaswetellthem,wecannotmakethem。

  Perhapsreallyunderallthecircumstancesthisisaswell,forwearespirituallymerehorsedoctorsascomparedwiththeRomanpriesthood,norcanwehopetomakemuchheadwayagainstthesinandmiserythatsurroundus,tillwereturninsomerespectstothepracticeofourforefathersandofthegreaterpartofChristendom。”

  Ernestaskedinwhatrespectsitwasthathisfrienddesiredareturntothepracticeofourforefathers。

  “Why,mydearfellow,canyoureallybeignorant?Itisjustthis,eitherthepriestisindeedaspiritualguide,asbeingabletoshowpeoplehowtheyoughttolivebetterthantheycanfindoutforthemselves,orheisnothingatall——hehasnoraisond’etre。Ifthepriestisnotasmuchahealeranddirectorofmen’ssoulsasaphysicianisoftheirbodies,whatishe?Thehistoryofallageshasshown——andsurelyyoumustknowthisaswellasIdo——thatasmencannotcurethebodiesoftheirpatientsiftheyhavenotbeenproperlytrainedinhospitalsunderskilledteachers,soneithercansoulsbecuredoftheirmorehiddenailmentswithoutthehelpofmenwhoareskilledinsoul-craft——orinotherwords,ofpriests。Whatdoonehalfofourformulariesandrubricsmeanifnotthis?Howinthenameofallthatisreasonablecanwefindouttheexactnatureofaspiritualmalady,unlesswehavehadexperienceofothersimilarcases?Howcanwegetthiswithoutexpresstraining?Atpresentwehavetobeginallexperimentsforourselves,withoutprofitingbytheorganisedexperienceofourpredecessors,inasmuchasthatexperienceisneverorganisedandco-ordinatedatall。Attheoutset,therefore,eachoneofusmustruinmanysoulswhichcouldbesavedbyknowledgeofafewelementaryprinciples。”

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