第34章
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  Howhadhecometogetintodebt?Didtheotherboysdoso?Ernestreluctantlyadmittedthattheydid。

  Withwhatshopsdidtheygetintodebt?

  Thiswasaskingtoomuch,Ernestsaidhedidn’tknow!

  “Oh,Ernest,Ernest。”exclaimedhismother,whowasintheroom,“donotsosoonasecondtimepresumeupontheforbearanceofthetenderest-heartedfatherintheworld。Givetimeforonestabtohealbeforeyouwoundhimwithanother。”

  Thiswasallveryfine,butwhatwasErnesttodo?Howcouldhegettheschoolshopkeepersintotroublebyowningthattheyletsomeoftheboysgoontickwiththem?TherewasMrsCross,agoodoldsoul,whousedtosellhotrollsandbutterforbreakfast,oreggsandtoast,oritmightbethequarterofafowlwithbreadsauceandmashedpotatoesforwhichshewouldcharge6d。Ifshemadeafarthingoutofthesixpenceitwasasmuchasshedid。Whentheboyswouldcometroopingintohershopafter“thehounds“howoftenhadnotErnestheardhersaytoherservantgirls,“Nowthen,youwanches,gitsomecheers。”Alltheboyswerefondofher,andwashe,Ernest,totelltalesabouther?Itwashorrible。

  “Nowlookhere,Ernest。”saidhisfatherwithhisblackestscowl,“I

  amgoingtoputastoptothisnonsenseonceforall。Eithertakemefullyintoyourconfidence,asasonshouldtakeafather,andtrustmetodealwiththismatterasaclergymanandamanoftheworld——orunderstanddistinctlythatIshalltakethewholestorytoDrSkinner,who,Iimagine,willtakemuchsternermeasuresthanI

  should。”

  “Oh,Ernest,Ernest。”sobbedChristina,“bewiseintime,andtrustthosewhohavealreadyshownyouthattheyknowbuttoowellhowtobeforbearing。”

  Nogenuineheroofromanceshouldhavehesitatedforamoment。

  Nothingshouldhavecajoledorfrightenedhimintotellingtalesoutofschool。Ernestthoughtofhisidealboys:they,hewellknew,wouldhavelettheirtonguesbecutoutofthembeforeinformationcouldhavebeenwrungfromanywordoftheirs。ButErnestwasnotanidealboy,andhewasnotstrongenoughforhissurroundings;I

  doubthowfaranyboycouldwithstandthemoralpressurewhichwasbroughttobearuponhim;atanyratehecouldnotdoso,andafteralittlemorewrithingheyieldedhimselfapassivepreytotheenemy。Heconsoledhimselfwiththereflectionthathispapahadnotplayedtheconfidencetrickonhimquiteasoftenashismammahad,andthatprobablyitwasbetterheshouldtellhisfather,thanthathisfathershouldinsistonDrSkinner’smakinganinquiry。

  Hispapa’sconscience“jabbered“agooddeal,butnotasmuchashismamma’s。ThelittlefoolforgotthathehadnotgivenhisfatherasmanychancesofbetrayinghimashehadgiventoChristina。

  Thenitallcameout。HeowedthisatMrsCross’s,andthistoMrsJones,andthisatthe“SwanandBottle“publichouse,tosaynothingofanothershillingorsixpenceortwoinotherquarters。

  Nevertheless,TheobaldandChristinawerenotsatiated,butratherthemoretheydiscoveredthegreatergrewtheirappetitefordiscovery;itwastheirobviousdutytofindouteverything,forthoughtheymightrescuetheirowndarlingfromthishotbedofiniquitywithoutgettingtoknowmorethantheyknewatpresent,weretherenototherpapasandmammaswithdarlingswhomalsotheywereboundtorescueifitwereyetpossible?Whatboys,then,owedmoneytotheseharpiesaswellasErnest?

  Here,again,therewasafeebleshowofresistance,butthethumbscrewswereinstantlyapplied,andErnest,demoralisedashealreadywas,recantedandsubmittedhimselftothepowersthatwere。

  Hetoldonlyalittlelessthanhekneworthoughtheknew。Hewasexamined,re-examined,cross-examined,senttotheretirementofhisownbedroomandcross-examinedagain;thesmokinginMrsJones’

  kitchenallcameout;whichboyssmokedandwhichdidnot;whichboysowedmoneyand,roughly,howmuchandwhere;whichboyssworeandusedbadlanguage。TheobaldwasresolvedthatthistimeErnestshould,ashecalledit,takehimintohisconfidencewithoutreserve,sotheschoollistwhichwentwithDrSkinner’shalf-yearlybillswasbroughtout,andthemostsecretcharacterofeachboywasgonethroughseriatimbyMrandMrsPontifex,sofarasitwasinErnest’spowertogiveinformationconcerningit,andyetTheobaldhadontheprecedingSundaypreachedalessfeeblesermonthanhecommonlypreached,uponthehorrorsoftheInquisition。Nomatterhowawfulwasthedepravityrevealedtothem,thepairneverflinched,butprobedandprobed,tilltheywereonthepointofreachingsubjectsmoredelicatethantheyhadyettouchedupon。

  HereErnest’sunconsciousselftookthematterupandmadearesistancetowhichhisconsciousselfwasunequal,bytumblinghimoffhischairinafitoffainting。

  DrMartinwassentforandpronouncedtheboytobeseriouslyunwell;atthesametimeheprescribedabsoluterestandabsencefromnervousexcitement。Sotheanxiousparentswereunwillinglycompelledtobecontentwithwhattheyhadgotalready——beingfrightenedintoleadinghimaquietlifefortheshortremainderoftheholidays。Theywerenotidle,butSatancanfindasmuchmischiefforbusyhandsasforidleones,sohesentalittlejobinthedirectionofBattersbywhichTheobaldandChristinaundertookimmediately。Itwouldbeapity,theyreasoned,thatErnestshouldleaveRoughborough,nowthathehadbeentherethreeyears;itwouldbedifficulttofindanotherschoolforhim,andtoexplainwhyhehadleftRoughborough。Besides,DrSkinnerandTheobaldweresupposedtobeoldfriends,anditwouldbeunpleasanttooffendhim;thesewereallvalidreasonsfornotremovingtheboy。Theproperthingtodo,then,wouldbetowarnDrSkinnerconfidentiallyofthestateofhisschool,andtofurnishhimwithaschoollistannotatedwiththeremarksextractedfromErnest,whichshouldbeappendedtothenameofeachboy。

  Theobaldwastheperfectionofneatness;whilehissonwasillupstairs,hecopiedouttheschoollistsothathecouldthrowhiscommentsintoatabularform,whichassumedthefollowingshape——

  onlythatofcourseIhavechangedthenames。Onecrossineachsquarewastoindicateoccasionaloffence;twostoodforfrequent,andthreeforhabitualdelinquency。

  SmokingDrinkingbeerSwearingNotesatthe“SwanandObsceneandBottle。”Language。

  Andthusthroughthewholeschool。

  Ofcourse,injusticetoErnest,DrSkinnerwouldbeboundovertosecrecybeforeawordwassaidtohim,but,Ernestbeingthusprotected,hecouldnotbefurnishedwiththefactstoocompletely。

  SoimportantdidTheobaldconsiderthismatterthathemadeaspecialjourneytoRoughboroughbeforethehalfyearbegan。Itwasarelieftohavehimoutofthehouse,butthoughhisdestinationwasnotmentioned,Ernestguessedwherehehadgone。

  Tothisdayheconsidershisconductatthiscrisistohavebeenoneofthemostseriouslachesofhislife——onewhichhecanneverthinkofwithoutshameandindignation。Hesaysheoughttohaverunawayfromhome。Butwhatgoodcouldhehavedoneifhehad?Hewouldhavebeencaught,broughtbackandexaminedtwodayslaterinsteadoftwodaysearlier。Aboyofbarelysixteencannotstandagainstthemoralpressureofafatherandmotherwhohavealwaysoppressedhimanymorethanhecancopephysicallywithapowerfulfull-grownman。True,hemayallowhimselftobekilledratherthanyield,butthisisbeingsomorbidlyheroicastocomecloseroundagaintocowardice;foritislittleelsethansuicide,whichisuniversallycondemnedascowardly。

  Onthere-assemblingoftheschoolitbecameapparentthatsomethinghadgonewrong。DrSkinnercalledtheboystogether,andwithmuchpompexcommunicatedMrsCrossandMrsJones,bydeclaringtheirshopstobeoutofbounds。Thestreetinwhichthe“SwanandBottle“stoodwasalsoforbidden。Thevicesofdrinkingandsmoking,therefore,wereclearlyaimedat,andbeforeprayersDrSkinnerspokeafewimpressivewordsabouttheabominablesinofusingbadlanguage。Ernest’sfeelingscanbeimagined。

  Nextdayatthehourwhenthedailypunishmentswerereadout,thoughtherehadnotyetbeentimeforhimtohaveoffended,ErnestPontifexwasdeclaredtohaveincurredeverypunishmentwhichtheschoolprovidedforevil-doers。Hewasplacedontheidlelistforthewholehalfyear,andonperpetualdetentions;hisboundswerecurtailed;hewastoattendjuniorcallings-over;infacthewassohemmedinwithpunishmentsuponeversidethatitwashardlypossibleforhimtogooutsidetheschoolgates。Thisunparalleledlistofpunishmentsinflictedonthefirstdayofthehalfyear,andintendedtolasttilltheensuingChristmasholidays,wasnotconnectedwithanyspecifiedoffence。Itrequirednogreatpenetrationtherefore,onthepartoftheboystoconnectErnestwiththeputtingMrsCross’sandMrsJones’sshopsoutofbounds。

  GreatindeedwastheindignationaboutMrsCrosswho,itwasknown,rememberedDrSkinnerhimselfasasmallboyonlyjustgotintojackets,andhaddoubtlesslethimhavemanyasausageandmashedpotatoesupondeferredpayment。Theheadboysassembledinconclavetoconsiderwhatstepsshouldbetaken,buthardlyhadtheydonesobeforeErnestknockedtimidlyatthehead-roomdoorandtookthebullbythehornsbyexplainingthefactsasfarashecouldbringhimselftodoso。Hemadeacleanbreastofeverythingexceptabouttheschoollistandtheremarkshehadmadeabouteachboy’scharacter。Thisinfamywasmorethanhecouldownto,andhekepthiscounselconcerningit。Fortunatelyhewassafeindoingso,forDrSkinner,pedantandmorethanpedantthoughhewas,hadstilljustsenseenoughtoturnonTheobaldinthematteroftheschoollist。Whetherheresentedbeingtoldthathedidnotknowthecharactersofhisownboys,orwhetherhedreadedascandalabouttheschoolIknownot,butwhenTheobaldhadhandedhimthelist,overwhichhehadexpendedsomuchpains,DrSkinnerhadcuthimuncommonlyshort,andhadthenandthere,withmoresuavitythanwasusualwithhim,committedittotheflamesbeforeTheobald’sowneyes。

  Ernestgotoffwiththeheadboyseasierthanheexpected。Itwasadmittedthattheoffence,heinousthoughitwas,hadbeencommittedunderextenuatingcircumstances;thefranknesswithwhichtheculprithadconfessedall,hisevidentlyunfeignedremorse,andthefurywithwhichDrSkinnerwaspursuinghimtendedtobringaboutareactioninhisfavour,asthoughhehadbeenmoresinnedagainstthansinning。

  Asthehalfyearworeonhisspiritsgraduallyrevived,andwhenattackedbyoneofhisfitsofself-abasementhewasinsomedegreeconsoledbyhavingfoundoutthatevenhisfatherandmother,whomhehadsupposedsoimmaculate,werenobetterthantheyshouldbe。

  AboutthefifthofNovemberitwasaschoolcustomtomeetonacertaincommonnotfarfromRoughboroughandburnsomebodyineffigy,thisbeingthecompromisearrivedatinthematteroffireworksandGuyFawkesfestivities。ThisyearitwasdecidedthatPontifex’sgovernorshouldbethevictim,andErnestthoughagooddealexercisedinmindastowhatheoughttodo,intheendsawnosufficientreasonforholdingalooffromproceedingswhich,ashejustlyremarked,couldnotdohisfatheranyharm。

  ItsohappenedthatthebishophadheldaconfirmationattheschoolonthefifthofNovember。DrSkinnerhadnotquitelikedtheselectionofthisday,butthebishopwaspressedbymanyengagements,andhadbeencompelledtomakethearrangementasitthenstood。Ernestwasamongthosewhohadtobeconfirmed,andwasdeeplyimpressedwiththesolemnimportanceoftheceremony。Whenhefeltthehugeoldbishopdrawingdownuponhimashekneltinchapelhecouldhardlybreathe,andwhentheapparitionpausedbeforehimandlaiditshandsuponhisheadhewasfrightenedalmostoutofhiswits。Hefeltthathehadarrivedatoneofthegreatturningpointsofhislife,andthattheErnestofthefuturecouldresembleonlyveryfaintlytheErnestofthepast。

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