第5章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"April Hopes",免费读到尾

  “It’saverygoodbeginning,Ishouldthink。”

  “Well,don’tyouthinkyououghttosaynowthatyou’resorryyouweresoformidable?”

  “AmIsoformidable?”sheasked,andthenrecognisedthatshehadbeentrappedintoaleadingquestion。

  “Youaretome。BecauseIwouldlikealwaystobesurethatIhadpleasedyou,andforthelasttwelvehoursI’veonlybeenabletomakesurethatIhadn’t。That’stheconsolationI’mgoingawaywith。I

  thoughtI’dgetyoutoconfirmmyimpressionexplicitly。That’swhyI

  wishedtojoinyou。”

  “Areyou——wereyougoingaway?”

  “I’mgoingbythenextboat。What’stheuseofstaying?Ishouldonlymakebadworse。YesterdayIhopedButlastnightspoiledeverything。

  “MissPasmer。”hebrokeout,witharushoffeeling,“youmustknowwhyI

  cameupheretoCampobello。”

  Hisstepstookhimalittleaheadofher,andhecouldlookbackintoherfaceashespoke。Butapparentlyhesawnothinginittogivehimcouragetogoon,forhestopped,andthencontinued,lightly:“AndI’mgoingawaybecauseIfeelthatI’vemadeafailureoftheexpedition。I

  knewthatyouweresupremelydisgustedwithmelastnight;butitwillbeasortofcomfortifyou’lltellmeso。”

  “Oh。”saidAlice,“everybodythoughtitwasverybrilliant,I’msure。”

  “Andyouthoughtitwasapieceofbuffoonery。Well,itwas。Iwishyou’dsayso,MissPasmer;thoughIdidn’tmeantheplayingentirely。Itwouldbesomethingtostartfrom,andIwanttomakeabeginning——turnoveranewleaf。Can’tyouhelpmetoinscribeagoodresolutionofthemostiron-claddescriptiononthestainlesspage?I’velainawakeallnightcomposingone。Wouldn’tyouliketohearit?”

  “Ican’tseewhatgoodthatwoulddo。”shesaid,withsomerelentingtowardasmile,inwhichheinstantlypreparedhimselftobask。

  “ButyouwillwhenI’vedoneit。Nowlisten!“

  “Pleasedon’tgoon。”Shecuthimshortwithareturntoherseverity,whichhewouldnotrecognise。

  “Well,perhapsI’dbetternot。”heconsented。“It’sratheralongresolution,andIdon’tknowthatI’vecommitteditperfectlyyet。ButI

  doassureyouthatifyouweredisgustedlastnight,youwerenottheonlyone。Iwasimmenselydisgustedmyself;andwhyIwantedyoutotellmeso,wasbecausewhenIhaveastrongpressurebroughttobearIcanbraceup,anddoalmostanything。”hesaid,droppingintoearnest。Thenheroselightlyagain,andadded,“Youhavenoideahowunpleasantitistolieawakeallnightthrowingdustintheeyesofanaccusingconscience。”

  “Itmusthavebeen,ifyoudidn’tsucceed。”saidAlicedrily。

  “Yes,that’sit——that’sjustthepoint。IfI’dsucceeded,Ishouldbeallright,don’tyousee。Butitwasadifficultcase。”Sheturnedherfaceaway,buthesawthesmileonhercheek,andhelaughedasifthiswerewhathehadbeentryingtomakeherdo。“Igotbeaten。Ihadtogiveup,andownit。IhadtosaythatIhadthrownmychanceaway,andIhadbettertakemyselfoff。”Helookedatherwitharealanxietyinhisgayeyes。

  “Theboatgoesjustafterlunch,Ibelieve。”shesaidindifferently。

  “Ohyes,IshallhavetimetogetlunchbeforeIgo。”hesaid,withbitterness。“Butlunchisn’ttheonlything;itisn’teventhemainthing,MissPasmer。”

  “No?”Shehardenedherheart。

  Hewaitedforhertosaysomethingmore,andthenhewenton。“Thequestioniswhetherthere’stimetoundolastnight,abolishit,eraseitfromthecalendarofrecordedtime——spongeitout,inshort——andgetbacktoyesterdayafternoon。”Shemadenoreplytothis。“Don’tyouthinkitwasaverypleasantpicnic,MissPasmer?”heasked,withpensiverespectfulness。

  “Very。”sheanswereddrily。

  Hecastaglanceatthewoodsthatborderedtheroadoneitherside。

  “Thatweirdforest——Ishallneverforgetit。”

  “No;itwassomethingtoremember。”shesaid。

  “Andtheblueberrypatch?Wemustn’tforgettheblueberrypatch。”

  “Therewereagreatmanyblueberries。”

  Shewalkedon,andhesaid,“Andthatbridge——youdon’thavethatfeelingofhavingbeenherebefore?”

  “No。”

  “AmIwalkingtoofastforyou,MissPasmer?”

  “No;Iliketowalkfast。”

  “Butwouldn’tyouliketositdown?Onthiswaysidelog,forexample?”

  Hepointeditoutwithhisstick。“Itseemstoinviterepose,andIknowyoumustbetired。”

  “I’mnottired。”

  “Ah,thatshowsthatyoudidn’tlieawakegrievingoveryourfolliesallnight。Ihopeyourestedwell,MissPasmer。”Shesaidnothing。“IfI

  thought——ifIcouldhopethatyouhadn’t,itwouldbeabondofsympathy,andIwouldgivealmostanythingforabondofsympathyjustnow,MissPasmer。Alice!“hesaid,withsuddenseriousness。“IknowthatI’mnotworthyeventothinkofyou,andthatyou’rewholeworldsabovemeineveryway。It’sthatthattakesallheartoutofme,andleavesmewithoutawordtosaywhenI’dliketosaysomuch。Iwouldliketospeak——tellyou——“

  Sheinterruptedhim。“Iwishtospeaktoyou,Mr。Mavering,andtellyouthat——I’mverytired,andI’mgoingbacktothehotel。Imustaskyoutoletmegobackalone。”

  “Alice,Iloveyou。”

  “I’msorryyousaidit——sorry,sorry。”

  “Why?”heasked,withhopelessfutility。

  “Becausetherecanbenolovebetweenus——notfriendshipeven——notacquaintance。”

  “Ishouldn’thaveaskedforyouracquaintance,yourfriendship,if——“

  Hiswordsconveyedadelicatereproach,andtheystungher,becausetheyputherinthewrong。

  “Nomatter。”shebeganwildly。“Ididn’tmeantowoundyou。Butwemustpart,andwemustneverseeeachotheragain:“

  Hestoodconfused,asifhecouldnotmakeitoutorbelieveit。“Butyesterday——“

  “It’sto-daynow。”

  “Ah,no!It’slastnight。AndIcanexplain。”

  “No!“shecried。“Youshallnotmakemeoutsomeanandvindictive。I

  don’tcareforlastnight,norforanythingthathappened。”Thiswasnottrue,butitseemedsotoheratthemoment;shethoughtthatshereallynolongerresentedhisassociationwithMissAndersonandhisseparationfromherselfinallthathadtakenplace。

  “Thenwhatisit?”

  “Ican’ttellyou。Buteverythingisoverbetweenus——that’sall。”

  “Butyesterday——andallthesedayspast——youseemed——“

  “It’sunfairofyoutoinsist——it’sungenerous,ungentlemanly。”

  Thatword,whichfromawoman’stonguealwaysstrikesamanlikeablowintheface,silencedMavering。Hesethislipsandbowed,andtheyparted。Sheturneduponherway,andhekeptthepathwhichshehadbeengoing。

  Itwasnotthehourwhenthepiazzaswereveryfull,andsheslippedintothedimhotelcorridorundetected,oratleastundetained。Sheflungintoherroom,andconfrontedhermother。

  Mrs。Pasmerwastherelookingintoatrunkthathadoverflowedfromherownchamber。“Whatisthematter?”shesaidtoherdaughter’sexcitedface。

  “Mr。Mavering——“

  “Well?”

  “AndIrefusedhim。”

  Mrs。Pasmerwasoneofthoseladieswhoinanyfinalityhaveakeenretrovisionofalltheadvantagesofadifferentconclusion。Shehadbeenthinking,sinceshetoldDanMaveringwhichwayAlicehadgonetowalk,thatifheweretospeaktohernow,andsheweretoaccepthim,itwouldinvolveagreatmanyembarrassingconsequences;butshehadconsoledherselfwiththeprobabilitythathewouldnotspeaksosoonaftertheeffectsoflastnight,butwouldonlytryatthefurthesttomakehispeacewithAlice。Sincehehadspoken,though,andshehadrefusedhim,Mrs。Pasmerinstantlysawallthepleasantthingsthatwouldhavefollowedinanotherevent。“Refusedhim?”sherepeatedprovisionally,whileshegatheredherselfforafullexplorationofallthefacts。

  “Yes,mamma;andIcan’ttalkaboutit。Iwishnevertohearhisnameagain,ortoseehim,ortospeaktohim。”

  “Why,ofcoursenot。”saidMrs。Pasmer,withafinesmile,fromthevantage-groundofhersuperioryears,“ifyou’verefusedhim。”Sheleftthetrunkwhichshehadbeenstandingover,andsatdown,whileAliceswepttoandfrobeforeherexcitedly。“Butwhydidyourefusehim,mydear?”

  “Why?Becausehe’sdetestable——perfectlyignoble。”

  Hermotherprobablyknewhowtotranslatetheseexaltedexpressionsintothemoreaccuratelanguageofmaturerlife。“Doyoumeanlastnight?”

  “Lastnight?”criedAlicetragically。“No。WhyshouldIcareforlastnight?”

  “ThenIdon’tunderstandwhatyoumean。”retortedMrs。Pasmer。“Whatdidhesay?”shedemanded,withauthority。

  “Mamma,Ican’ttalkaboutit——Iwon’t。”

  “Butyoumust,Alice。It’syourduty。OfcourseImustknowaboutit。

  Whatdidhesay?”

  Alicewalkedupanddowntheroomwithherlipsfirmlyclosed——likeMavering’slips,itoccurredtoher;andthensheopenedthem,butwithoutspeaking。

  “Whatdidhesay?”persistedhermother,andherpersistencehaditseffect。

  “Say?”exclaimedthegirlindignantly。“Hetriedtomakemesay。”

  “Isee。”saidMrs。Pasmer。“Well?”

  “ButIforcedhimtospeak,andthen——Irejectedhim。That’sall。”

  “Poorfellow!“saidMrs。Pasmer。“Hewasafraidofyou。”

  “Andthat’swhatmadeitthemoreodious。DoyouthinkIwishedhimtobeafraidofme?Wouldthatbeanypleasure?IshouldhatemyselfifI

  hadtoquellanybodyintobeingunlikethemselves。”Shesatdownforamoment,andthenjumpedupagain,andwenttothewindow,fornoreason,andcameback。

  “Yes。”saidhermotherimpartially,“he’slight,andhe’sroundabout。Hecouldn’tcomestraightatanything。”

  “Andwouldyouhavemeacceptsucha——being?”

  Mrs。Pasmersmiledalittleattheliteraryword,andcontinued:“Buthe’sverysweet,andhe’sasgoodastheday’slong,andhe’sveryfondofyou,and——Ithoughtyoulikedhim。”

  Thegirlthrewupherarmsacrosshereyes。“Oh,howcanyousaysuchathing,mamma?”

  Shedroppedintoachairatthebedside,andletherfacefallintoherhands,andcried。

  Hermotherwaitedforthegustoftearstopassbeforeshesaid,“Butifyoufeelsoaboutit——“

  “Mamma!“Alicesprangtoherfeet。

  “Itneedn’tcomefromyou。Icouldmakesomeexcusetoseehim——writehimalittlenote——“

  “Never!“exclaimedAlicegrandly。“WhatI’vedoneI’vedonefrommyreason,andmyfeelingshavenothingtodowithit。”

  “Oh,verywell。”saidhermother,goingoutoftheroom,notwhollydisappointedwithwhatsheviewedasarespite,andamusedbyherdaughter’stragics。“Butifyouthinkthatthefeelingshavenothingtodowithsuchamatter,you’reverymuchmistaken。”IfshebelievedthatherdaughterdidnotknowherrealmotivesinrejectingDanMavering,orhadnotbeenabletogivethem,shedidnotsayso。

  ThelittlegroupofAliceolatersonthepiazza,whobegantocanvassthecausesofMavering’sgoingbeforethetopofhishatdisappearedbelowthebankonthepathleadingtotheferry-boat,wereoftwominds。OnefactionheldthathewasgoingbecauseAlicehadrefusedhim,andthathisgaietyuptothelastmomentwasonlyamasktohidehisdespair。

  Theothersidecontendedthat,ifheandAlicewerenotactuallyengaged,theyunderstoodeachother,andhewasgoingawaybecausehewantedtotellhisfamily,orsomethingofthatkind。BetweenthetwoopinionsMissCottonwaveredwithasentimentalattractiontoeither。“Whatdoyoureallythink?”sheaskedMrs。Brinkley,arrivingfromlunchatthecornerofthepiazzawherethegroupwasseated。

  “Oh,whatdoesitmatter,attheirage?”shedemanded。

  “Butthey’rejustoftheagewhenitdoeshappentomatter。”suggestedMrs。Stamwell。

  “Yes。”saidMrs。Brinkley,“andthat’swhatmakesthewholethingsoperfectlyridiculous。Justthinkoftwochildren,oneoftwentyandtheotheroftwenty-three,proposingtodecidetheirlifelongdestinyinsuchavitalmatter!Shouldwetrusttheirjudgmentinregardtothesmallestbusinessaffair?Ofcoursenot。They’rebabesinarms,morallyandmentallyspeaking。Peoplehaven’tthedataforbeingwiselyinlovetillthey’vereachedtheagewhentheyhaven’ttheleastwishtobeso。Oh,I

  supposeIthoughtthatIwasagrownwomantoowhenIwastwenty;IcanlookbackandseethatIdid;and,what’smorepreposterousstill,I

  thoughtMr。Brinkleywasamanattwenty-four。Butwewerenomorefittoacceptorrejecteachotheratthatinfantileperiod——“

  “Doyoureallythinkso?”askedMissCotton,onlypartiallycredulousofMrs。Brinkley’sirony。

  “Yes,itdoesseemoutofallreason。”admittedMrs。Stamwell。

  “Ofcourseitis。”saidMrs。Brinkley。“Ifshehasrejectedhim,she’sdoneaverysafething。Nobodyshouldbeallowedtomarrybeforefifty。

  Then,ifpeoplemarried,itwouldbebecausetheyknewthattheylovedeachother。”

  MissCottonreflectedamoment。“Itisstrangethatsuchanimportantquestionshouldhavetobedecidedatanagewhenthejudgmentissofarfrommature。Ineverhappenedtolookatitinthatlightbefore。”

  “Yes。”saidMrs。Brinkley——andshemadeherselfcomfortableinanarmchaircommandingastretchofthebayoverwhichtheferry-boatmustpass——“butit’sonlypartandparcelofthewholeaffair。I’msurethatnogrownpersoncanseetheridiculousyoungthings——inexperienced,ignorant,featherbrained——thatnatureintrustswithchildren,theirimmortallittlesoulsandtheirextremelyperishablelittlebodies,withoutrebellingatthewholesystem。Whenyouseewhatmostyoungmothersare,howperfectlyunfitandincapable,youwonderthatthewholeracedoesn’tteethanddie。Yes,there’sonethingIfeelprettysureof——that,asmattersarearrangednow,thereoughtn’ttobemothersatall,thereoughttobeonlygrandmothers。”

  Thegroupalllaughed,evenMissCotton,butshewasthefirsttobecomegrave。Atthebottomofherhearttherewasadoubtwhethersolightawayoftreatingseriousthingswasnotalittlewicked。

  “Perhaps。”shesaid,“weshallhavetogobacktotheideathatengagementsandmarriagesarenotintendedtoberegulatedbythejudgment,butbytheaffections。”

  “Idon’tknowwhat’sintended。”saidMrs。Brinkley,“butIknowwhatis。

  Inninety-ninecasesoutofahundredtheaffectionshaveittheirownway,andImustsayIdon’tthinkthejudgmentcouldmakeagreatermessofit。Infact。”shecontinued,perhapsprovokedtotheexcessbythedeprecationshesawinMissCotton’seye,“Iconsidereverybrokenengagementnowadaysablessingindisguise。”

  MissCottonsaidnothing。Theotherladiessaid,“Why,Mrs。Brinkley!“

  “Yes。Thethinghasgonealtogethertoofar。Thependulumhasswunginthatdirectionoutofallmeasure。Wearemarriedtoomuch。Andasanaturalconsequencewearedivorcedtoomuch。Thewholecaseisinanutshell:iftherewerenomarriages,therewouldbenodivorces,andthatgreatabusewouldbecorrected,atanyrate。”

  Alltheladieslaughed,MissCottonmoreandmoresorrowfully。Shelikedtohavepeopletalkastheydoingenteelnovels。Mrs。Brinkley’sboldexpressionswereaseriesofviolentshockstohernature,andimpartedaterriblevibrationtothefabricofherwholelittlerose-colouredidealworld;iftheyhadnotbeentheexpressionsofapersonwhomagreatmanyunquestionablepersonsaccepted,whohadsuchanundoubtedstanding,shewouldhavethoughtthemverycoarse。Asitwas,theyhadagreatfascinationforher。“Butinacaselikethatof“——shelookedroundandloweredhervoice——“ouryoungfriends,I’msureyoucouldn’trejoiceiftheengagementwerebrokenoff。”

  “Well,I’mnotgoingtobe’amushofconcession,’asEmersonsays,MissCotton。And,inthefirstplace,howdoyouknowthey’reengaged?”

  “Ah,Idon’t;Ididn’tmeanthattheywere。Butwouldn’titbealittlepatheticif,afterallthatwe’veseengoingon,hiscominghereexpresslyonheraccount,andhisperfectdevotiontoherforthepasttwoweeks,itshouldendinnothing?”

  “Twoweeksisn’taverylongtimetosettlethebusinessofalifetime。”

  “No。”

  “Perhapsshe’sproposeddelay;alittlefurtheracquaintance。”

  “Oh,ofcoursethatwouldbeperfectlyright。Doyouthinkshedid?”

  “Notifshe’saswiseastherestofuswouldhavebeenatherage。ButIthinksheought。”

  “Yes?”saidMissCottonsemi-interrogatively。

  “Doyouthinkhisbehaviourlastnightwouldnaturallyimpressherwithhiswisdomandconstancy?”

  “No,Ican’tsaythatitwould,but——“

  “AndthisAliceofyoursisratherasevereyoungperson。Shehasherideas,andI’mafraidthey’reratherheroic。She’dbejustwithhim,ofcourse。Butthere’snothingamandreadssomuchasjustice——somemen。”

  “Yes。”pursuedMissCotton,“butthatverydisparity——Iknowthey’reveryunlike——don’tyouthink——“

  “Ohyes,Iknowthetheoryaboutthat。Butiftheywereexactlyalikeintemperament,they’dbesufficientlyunlikeforthepurposesofcounterparts。Thatwasarrangedonceforallwhen’maleandfemalecreatedHethem。’I’venodoubttheirfancywascaughtbyallthekindsofdifferencetheyfindineachother;that’sjustasnaturalasit’ssilly。Butthemisunderstanding,thetrouble,thequarrelling,thewearandtearofspirit,thatthey’dhavetogothroughbeforetheyassimilated——itmakesmetired,astheboyssay。No:Ihope,fortheyoungman’sownsake,he’sgothisconge。”

  “Buthe’ssokind,sogood“

  “Mydear,theworldissurfeitedwithkind,goodmen。Therearehalfadozenofthemattheotherendofthepiazzasmoking;andtherecomesanothertojointhem。”sheadded,asalargefigure,semicircularinprofile,advanceditselffromadoorwaytowardavacantchairamongthesmokers。“Theverysoulofkindnessandgoodness。”Shebeckonedtowardherhusband,whocaughtsightofhergesture。“NowIcantellyouallhismentalprocesses。First,surpriseatseeingsomeonebeckoning;thenastonishmentthatit’sI,thoughwhoelseshouldbeckonhim?——thenwonderwhatIcanwant;thenconjecturethatImaywanthimtocomehere;thenprideinhisconjecture;rebellion;compliance。”

  TheladieswereinascreamoflaughterasMr。Brinkleylumberedheavilytotheirgroup。

  “Whatisit?”heasked。

  “Doyoubelieveinbrokenengagements?Nowquick——off-hand!“

  “Who’sengaged?”

  “Nomatter。”

  “Well,youknowPunch’sadvicetothoseabouttomarry?”

  “Iknow——chestnuts。”saidhiswifescornfully。Theydismissedeachotherwithtenderbluntness,andhewentintogetamatch。

  “Ah,Mrs。Brinkley。”saidoneoftheladies,“itwouldbeofnouseforyoutopreachbrokenengagementstoanyonewhosawyouandMr。Brinkleytogether。”Theyfelluponher,oneafteranother,andmockedherwiththedifferencebetweenherdoctrineandpractice;andtheywereallthemoreagainstherbecausetheyhadbeenperhapsalittleputdownbyherwhimsicalsayings。

  “Yes。”sheadmitted。“Butwe’vebeenthirtyyearscomingtotheunderstandingthatyoualladmiresomuch;anddoyouthinkitwasworththetime?”

  XXI。

  Maveringkeptupuntilhetookleaveofthepartyofyoungpeoplewhohadcomeoverontheferry-boattoEastportforthefrolicofseeinghimoff。

  Itwasatremendoustourdeforcetoaccepttheircompanyasifheweregladofit,andtorespondtoalltheirgaynothingsgaily;tomaintainasunnysurfaceonhisturbidmisery。TheyhadtriedtomakeAlicecomewiththem,buthermotherpleadedabadheadacheforher;andhehadtoparryahundredsalliesabouther,andfromhissickhearthumourthepopularinsinuationthattherewasanunderstandingbetweenthem,andthattheyhadagreedtogethersheshouldnotcome。HehadtostandaboutonthesteamboatwharfandlistentoamiableinnuendoesfornearlyanhourbeforethesteamercameinfromSt。John。Thefondadieuxofhisfriends,theirofferstotakeanymessageback,lastedduringtheinterminablefifteenminutesthatshelayathermoorings,andthenheshowedhimselfatthesternoftheboat,andwavedhishandkerchiefinacknowledgmentofthelastpartingsalutationsonshore。

  Whenitwasallover,hewentdownintohisstate-room,andshuthimselfin,andlethismiseryrolloverhim。Hefeltasiftherewereafloodofit,anditwashedhimtoandfro,onegallofshame,ofself-accusal,ofbitterness,fromheadtofoot。ButinitallhefeltnoresentmenttowardAlice,nowishtowreakanysmallestpartofhissufferinguponher。Evenwhilehehadhopedforherlove,itseemedtohimthathehadnotseenherinallthatperfectionwhichshenowhadinirreparableloss。Hissoulboweditselffondlyoverthethoughtofher;and,stungashewasbythatlastcruelwordofhers,hecouldnotupbraidher。

  Thathumilitywhichislovecastingoutselfishness,themostegotisticofthepassionstriumphingoveritself——Maveringexperiencedittothefull。Hetookalltheblame。Hecouldnotseethatshehadeverencouragedhimtohopeforherlove,whichnowappearedatreasureheaven——farbeyondhisscope;hecouldonlycallhimselffool,andfool,andfool,andwonderthathecouldhavemetherintheremotenessofthatmorningwiththebeliefthatbutforthefolliesoflastnightshemighthaveansweredhimdifferently。Hebelievednowthat,whateverhadgonebefore,shemuststillhaverejectedhim。Shehadtreatedhispresumptionveryleniently;shehadreallysparedhim。

  Itwenton,overandover。Sometimesitvariedalittle,aswhenhethoughtofhow,whensheshouldtellhermother,Mrs。Pasmermustlaugh。

  Hepicturedthembothlaughingathim;andthenMr。Pasmer——hehadscarcelypassedadozenwordswithhim-cominginandaskingwhattheywerelaughingat,andtheirsaying,andhislaughingtoo。

  Atothertimeshefiguredthemasincensedathistemerity,whichmustseemtothemgreaterandgreater,asnowitseemedtohim。Hehadneverthoughtmeanlyofhimself,andtheworldsofarhadseemedtothinkwellofhim;butbecauseAlicePasmerwasimpossibletohim,hefeltthatitwasanunpardonableboldnessinhimtohavedreamedofher。WhatmusttheybesayingofhishavingpassedfromthegroundofsocietycomplimentsandlightflirtationtoactuallytellingAlicethathelovedher?

  HewonderedwhatMrs。PasmerhadthoughtofhistellingherthathehadcometoCampobellotoconsiderthequestionwhetherheshouldstudylaworgointobusiness,andwhatmotiveshehadsupposedhehadintellingherthat。Heaskedhimselfwhatmotivehehad,andtriedtopretendthathehadnone。HedramatisedconversationswithMrs。Pasmerinwhichhelaugheditoff。

  Hotriedtorememberallthathadpassedthedaybeforeatthepicnic,andwhetherAlicehaddoneorsaidanythingtoencouragehim,andhecouldnotfindthatshehad。Allhertrustandfreedomwasbecauseshefeltperfectlysafewithhimfromanysuchdisgustingabsurdityashehadbeenguiltyof。Theridehomethroughthemist,withitssweetintimacy,thatpartingwhichhadseemedsofulloftenderintelligence,werepartsofthesameillusion。Therehadbeennothingofitonhersidefromthebeginningbutakindlinesswhichhehadnowflungawayforever。

  Hewentbacktothebeginning,andtriedtorememberthepointwherehehadstartedinthisfatallabyrinthoferror。Shehadnevermisledhim,buthehadmisledhimselffromthefirstglimpseofher。

  Whateverwasbestinhislightnature,whateverwasgenerousandself-

  denying,cameoutinthishumiliation。Fromthevisionofherderisionhepassedtoapictureofhersufferingfrompityforhim,andwrungwithasenseofthepainshehadgivenhim。Hepromisedhimselftowritetoher,andbeghernottocareforhim,becausehewasnotworthyofthat。

  Heframedaletterinhismind,inwhichheposedinsomenobleattitudes,andbroughttearsintohiseyesbyhismagnanimousappealtohernottosufferforthesakeofonesounworthyofherseriousthought。

  Hepicturedhergreatlymovedbysomeofthephrases,andhecomposedforherareply,whichledtoanotherletterfromhim,andsotoacorrespondenceandalongandtenderfriendship。Intheendhediedsuddenly,andthenshediscoveredthatshehadalwayslovedhim。Hediscoveredthathewasplayingthefoolagain,andherosefromtheberthwherehehadtumbledhimself。Thestate-roomhadthatsmellofparboiledpaintwhichstate-roomshave,andremindedhimofthesteamerinwhichhehadgonetoEuropewhenaboy,withthefamily,justafterhismother’shealthbegantofail。

  Hewentdownonthedeckneartheladies’saloon,wherethesecond-classpassengersweregatheredlisteningtothesamebandofplantationnegroeswhohadamusedhimsomuchontheeastwardtrip。ThepassengersweremostlypockmarkedProvincials,andmanyofthemwerewomen;theyloungedonthebarrelsofapplesneatlypiledup,andlistenedtothemusicwithoutsmiling。Oneofthenegroeswassingingtothebanjo,andanotherbegantodotherheumaticuncle’sbreakdown。Maveringsaidtohimself:“Ican’tstandthat。Oh,whatafoolIam!Alice,Iloveyou。

  Omercifulheavens!Oinfernaljackass!Ow!Gaw!“

  AtthebowoftheboathefoundagangofItalianlabourersreturningtotheStatesaftersomejobintheProvinces。TheysmokedtheirpipesandwhinedtheirNeapolitandialecttogether。ItmadeMaveringthinkofDante,oftheInferno,towhichhepassednaturallyfromhisself-

  denunciationforhavingbeenaninfernaljackass。Theinscriptiononthegateofhellranthroughhismind。Hethoughthewouldmakehislife——

  hisdesolate,brokenlife——aperpetualexile,likeDante’s。Atthesametimehegroundhisteeth,andmuttered:“Oh,whatafoolIam!Oh,idiot!beast!Oh!oh!“Thepipesremindedhimtosmoke,andhetookouthiscigarettecase。TheItalianslookedathim;hegaveallthecigarettesamongthem,withoutkeepinganyforhimself。Hedeterminedtospendthemiserableremnantofhislifeingoingaboutdoinggoodandbestowingalms。

  Hegroanedaloud,sothattheItaliansnoticedit,anddoubtlessspokeofitamongthemselves。Hecouldnotunderstandtheirdialect,buthefeignedthemsayingrespectfullycompassionatethings。Thenhegnashedhisteethagain,andcursedhisfolly。Whenthebellrangforsupperhefoundhimselfveryhungry,andateheavily。Afterthathewentoutinfrontofthecabin,andwalkedupanddown,thinking,andtryingnottothink。Theturmoilinhismindtiredhimlikeaprodigiousphysicalexertion。

  Towardteno’clockthenightgrewrougher。Theseawassophosphorescentthatitbrokeinsheetsandflakesofpalebluishflamefromthebowsandwheel-houses,andoutinthedarkthewavesrevealedthemselvesinflashesandlonggleamsoffire。OneoftheofficersoftheboatcameandhungwithMaveringovertheguard。Theweirdlightfromthewaterwasreflectedontheirfaces,andshowedthemtoeachother。

  “Well,Ineversawanythinglikethisbefore。Lookslikehell;don’tit?”saidtheofficer。

  “Yes。”saidMavering。“Isituncommon?”

  “Well,Ishouldsayso。Iguesswe’regoingtohaveapicnic。”

  Maveringthoughtofblueberries,buthedidnotsayanything。

  “Iguessit’sgoingtobearegularcircus。”

  Maveringdidnotcare。Heaskedincuriously,“Howdoyoufindyourcourseinsuchweather?”

  “Well,weguesswhereweare,andthengivehersomanyturnsofthewheel。”Theofficerlaughed,andMaveringlaughedtoo。Hewasstruckbythehollownoteinhislaugh;itseemedtohimpathetic;hewonderedifheshouldnowalwayslaughso,andifpeoplewouldremarkit。Hetriedanotherlaugh;itsoundedmechanical。

  Hewenttobed,andwassowornoutthathefellasleepandbegantodream。Afacecameupoutofthesea,andbroodedoverthewaters,asinthatpictureofVedder’swhichhecalls“Memory。”butthehairwasnotblond;itwasthecolourofthosephosphorescentflames,andtheeyeswerelikeit。“Horrible!horrible!“hetriedtoshriek,buthecried,“Alice,Iloveyou。”Therewasaburglarintheroom,andhewasrunningafterMissPasmer。Maveringcaughthim,andtriedtobeathim;hisfistsfelllikebollsofcotton;theburglardrewhisbreathinwithalong,washingsoundlikewater。

  Maveringwokedeathlysick,andheardthesweepofthewaves。Theboatwaspitchingfrightfully。Hestruggledoutintothesaloon,andsawthatitwasfiveo’clock。InfivehoursmoreitwouldbeadaysincehetoldAlicethathelovedher;itnowseemedveryimprobable。Therewereagoodmanyhalf-dressedpeopleinthesaloon,andawomancamerunningoutofherstate-roomstraighttoMavering。Shewasinherstockingfeet,andherhairhungdownherback。

  “Oh!arewegoingdown?”sheimploredhim。“Havewestruck?Oughtn’twetopray——somebody?ShallIwakethechildren?”

  “Maveringreassuredher,andtoldhertherewasnodanger。

  “Well,then。”shesaid,“I’llgobackformyshoes。”

  “Yes,bettergetyourshoes。”

  Thesaloonroseroundhimandsank。Hecontrolledhissicknessbyplantingachairinthecentreandsittinginitwithhiseyesshut。Ashegrewmorecomfortablehereflectedhowhehadcalmedthatwoman,andheresolvedagaintospendhislifeindoinggood。“Yes,that’stheonlyticket。”hesaidtohimself,withinvoluntaryfrivolity。Hethoughtofwhattheofficerhadsaid,andhehelplesslyadded,“Circusticket——

  reservedseat。”Thenhebeganagain,andloadedhimselfwithexecration。

  TheboatgotintoPortlandatnineo’clock,andMaveringlefther,takinghishand-bagwithhim,andlettinghistrunkgoontoBoston。

  Theofficerwhoreceivedhisticketatthegangplanknoticedthedestinationonit,andsaid,“Gotenough?”

  “Yes,foronewhile。”Maveringrecognisedhisacquaintanceofthenightbefore。

  “Don’tlikepicnicsverymuch。”

  “No。”saidMavering,withabysmalgloom。“Theydon’tagreewithme。

  Neverdid。”Hewasawareoftryingtomakehislaughbitter。Theofficerdidnotnotice。

  Maveringwassurprised,afterthechillofthestormatsea,tofinditratherawarm,closemorninginPortland。Therestauranttowhichthehackmantookhimasthebestintownwasfullofflies;theybithimawakeoutofthedrearyreverieshefellintowhilewaitingforhisbreakfast。Inamirroroppositehesawhisface。Itdidnotlookhaggard;itlookedverymuchasitalwaysdid。Hefanciedplayingapartthroughlife——hidingabrokenheartunderasmile。“0youincorrigibleass!“hesaidtohimself,andwasafraidhehadsaidittotheyoungladywhobroughthimhisbreakfast,andlookedhaughtilyathimfromunderherbang。Shewasverythin,andworeablackjersey。

  Hetriedtofindoutwhetherhehadspokenaloudbyaddressingherpleasantly。“It’sprettycoldthismorning。”

  “Whatsay?”

  “Prettycool。”

  “Ohyes。Butit’sprettyclo-ose。”shereplied,inherYankeecantillation。Shewentawayandlefthimtothebaconandeggshehadorderedatrandom。Therewasaflyunderoneoftheslicesofbacon,andMaveringconfinedhimselftothecoffee。

  Amancameupinawhitecapandjacketfromabasementinthefrontoftherestaurant,whereconfectionerywassold,andthrewdownamassofmalleablecandyonamarbleslab,andbegantoworkit。Maveringwatchedhim,thinkingfuzzilyallthetimeofAlice,andholdinglong,fatiguingdialogueswiththepeopleattheTy’n-y-Coed,whoseseveralvoicesheheard。

  Hesaidtohimselfthatitwasworsethanyesterday。Hewonderedifitwouldgoongettingworseeveryday。

  HesawamanpassthedooroftherestaurantwholookedexactlylikeBoardmanasheglancedin。Theresemblancewasexplainedbytheman’scomingback,andprovingtobereallyBoardman。

  XXII。

  Maveringsprangathimwithademandforthereasonofhisbeingthere。

  “IthoughtitwasyouasIpassed。”saidBoardman,“butIcouldn’tmakesure——sodarkbackhere。”

  “AndIthoughtitwasyou,butIcouldn’tbelieveit。”saidMavering,withequalforce,cuttingshortaninteriorconversationwithMr。Pasmer,whichhadbeguntoholditselfsincehisfirstglimpseofBoardman。

  “Icamedownheretodoasortofone-horseyachtraceto-day。”Boardmanexplained。

  “Goingtobeayachtrace?Betterhavesomebreakfast。Orbetternot——

  here。Fliesunderyourbacon。”

  “Roughontheflies。”saidBoardman,snappingthebellwhichsummonedthespectreintheblackjersey,andhesatdown。“WhatareyoudoinginPortland?”

  Maveringtoldhim,andthenBoardmanaskedhimhowhehadleftthePasmers。Maveringneedednootherhinttospeak,andhespokefully,whileBoardmanlistenedwithanagreeablesilence,lettingtheheroofthetalebreakintoself-scornfulgroansanddolefullaughs,andeasehisheartwithgrotesque,inarticulatenoises,andmadelittleornocomments。

  Bythetimehisbreakfastcame,Boardmanwasreadytosay,“Ididn’tsupposeitwassomuchofamash。”

  “Ididn’teither。”saidMavering,“whenIleftBoston。OfcourseIknewIwasgoingdowntheretoseeher,butwhenIgotthereitkeptgoingon,justlikeanythingelse,uptothelastmoment。Ididn’trealisetillitcametotheworstthatIhadbecomeamerepulp。”

  “Well,youwon’tstayso。”saidBoardman,makingthefirstvainattemptatconsolation。Heliftedthesteakhehadordered,andpeeredbeneathit。Allrightthistime,anyway。”

  “Idon’tknowwhatyoumeanbystayingso。”repliedMavering,withgloomyrejectionofthecomfortoffered。

  “You’llseethatit’sallforthebest;thatyou’rewelloutofit。Ifshecouldthrowyouover,afterleadingyouon——“

  “Butshedidn’tleadmeon!“exclaimedMavering。“Don’tyouunderstandthatitwasallmymistakefromthefirst?IfIhadn’tbeenperfectlybesottedIshouldhaveseenthatshewasonlytoleratingme。Don’tyousee?Why,hangit,Boardman,Imusthavehadakindofconsciousnessofitundermythick-skinnedconceit,afterall,forwhenIcametothepoint——whenIdidcometothepoint——Ihadn’tthesandtosticktoitlikeaman,andItriedtogethertohelpme。Yes,IcanseethatIdidnow。Ikeptfoolingabout,andfoolingabout,anditwasbecauseIhadthatsortofprescience——ofwhateveryoucallit——thatIwasmistakenaboutitfromtheverybeginning。”

  HewishedtotellBoardmanabouttheeventsofthenightbefore;buthecouldnot。Hesaidtohimselfthathedidnotcareabouttheirbeinghardlytohiscredit;buthedidnotchoosetoletAliceseemtohaveresentedanythinginthem;itbelittledher,andclaimedtoomuchforhim。SoBoardmanhadtoproceeduponapartialknowledgeofthefacts。

  “Idon’tsupposethatboomerangwayofyours,ifthat’swhatyoumean,wasofmuchuse。”hesaid。

  “Use?Itruinedme!Butwhatareyougoingtodo?”HowareyougoingtopresupposethatagirllikeMissPasmerisinterestedinanidiotlikeyou?Imeanme,ofcourse。”Maveringbrokeoffwithadolorouslaugh。

  “Andifyoucan’tpresupposeit,whatareyougoingtodowhenitcomestothepoint?You’vegottoshillyshally,andthenyou’vegottogoitblind。Itellyouit’saleapinthedark。”

  “Well,then,ifyou’vegotyourselftoblame——“

  “HowamItoblame,Ishouldliketoknow?”retortedMavering,rejectingthefirstofferfromanotherofthecensurewhichhehadbeenheapinguponhimself:theirritationofhisnervesspoke。“Ididspeakoutatlast——whenitwastoolate。Well,letitallgo。”hegroanedaimlessly。

  “Idon’tcare。Butsheisn’ttoblame。Idon’tthinkIcouldadmireanybodyverymuchwhoadmiredme。No,sir。Shedidjustright。Iwasafool,andshecouldn’thavetreatedmedifferently。”

  “Oh,Iguessit’llcomeoutallright。”saidBoardman,abandoninghimselftomereoptimism。

  “Howcomeallright?”demandedMavering,flatteredbythehopeherefused。“It’scomerightnow。I’vegotmydeserts;that’sall。”

  “Ohno,youhaven’t。Whatharmhaveyoudone?It’sallrightforyoutothinksmallbeerofyourself,andIdon’tseehowyoucouldthinkanythingelsejustatpresent。Butyouwaitawhile。Whendidithappen?”

  Maveringtookouthiswatch。“Oneday,onehour,twentyminutes,andfifteensecondsago。”

  “Sureabouttheseconds?Isupposeyoudidn’thangroundagreatwhileafterward?”

  “Well,peopledon’t,generally。”saidMavering,withscorn。

  “Nevertriedit。”saidBoardman,lookingcriticallyathisfriedpotatoesbeforeventuringuponthem。“Ifyouhadstayed,perhapsshemighthavechangedhermind。”headded,asifencouragedtothishopefulviewbytheresultofhisscrutiny。

  “Wheredidyougetyourfraudulentreputationforcommon-sense,Boardman?”retortedMavering,whohadfollowedhisexaminationofthepotatoeswithinvoluntaryinterest。“Shewon’tchangehermind;sheisn’toneofthatkind。Butshe’stheonewomaninthisworldwhocouldhavemadeamanofme,Boardman。”

  “Isthatso?”askedBoardmanlightly。“Well,sheisagood-lookinggirl。”

  “She’sdivine!“

  “WhatadressthatwasshehadonClassDay!“

  “Ineverthinkwhatshehason。Shemakeseverythingperfect,andthenmakesyouforgetit。”

  “She’sgotstyle;there’snomistakeaboutthat。”

  “Style!“sighedMavering;butheattemptednoexemplification。

  “She’sawfullygraceful。Whatawalkshe’sgot!“

  “Oh,don’t,don’t,Boardman!Allthat’strue,andallthat’snothing——

  nothingtohergoodness。She’ssogood,Boardman!Well,Igiveitup!

  She’sreligious。Youwouldn’tthinkthat,maybe;youcan’timagineaprettygirlreligious。Andshe’sallthemoreintoxicatingwhenshe’sserious;andwhenshe’sforgottenyourwholeworthlessexistenceshe’stenthousandtimesmorefascinatingthanandothergirlwhenshe’sgoingrightforyou。There’sakindoflookcomesintohereyes——kindofabsence,rapture,don’tyouknow——whenshe’sserious,thatbringsyourheartrightintoyourmouth。Shemakesyouthinkofsomeofthosepictures——Iwanttotellyouwhatshesaidtheotherdayatapicnicwhenwewereoffgettingblueberries,andyou’llunderstandthatsheisn’tlikeothergirls——thatshehasasoulfallof——of——youknowwhat,Boardman。Shehashighthoughtsabouteverything。Idon’tbelieveshe’severhadameanorignobleimpulse——shecouldn’thave。”Inthebusinessofimpartinghisideasconfidentially,MaveringhaddrawnhimselfacrossthetabletowardBoardman,withoutheedtowhatwasonit。

  “Lookout!You’llbeintomysteakfirstthingyouknow。”

  “0h,confoundyoursteak?”criedMavering,pushingthedishaway。Whatdifferencedoesitmake?I’velosther,anyway。”

  “Idon’tbelieveyou’velosther。”saidBoardman。

  “What’sthereasonyoudon’t?”retortedMavering,withcontempt。

  “Because,ifshe’stheseriouskindofagirlyousaysheis,shewouldn’tletyoucomeupthereanddangleroundawholefortnightwithoutlettingyouknowshedidn’tlikeit,unlessshedidlikeit。Nowyoujustgoalittleintodetail。”

  Maveringwasquitewilling。HewentsomuchintodetailthatheleftnothingtoBoardman’simagination。HelostthesenseofitscalamitouscloseinrecountingthefactsofhisstoryatCampobello;hesmiledandblushedandlaughedintellingcertainthings;hedescribedMissAndersonandimitatedhervoice;hedrewheadsofsomeoftheladiesonthemarginofanewspaper,andthetearscameintohiseyeswhenherepeatedthecruelwordswhichAlicehadusedattheirlastmeeting。

  “Oh,well,youmustbraceup。”saidBoardman。“I’vegottogonow。Shedidn’tmeanit,ofcourse。”

  “Meanwhat?”

  “Thatyouwereungentlemanly。Womendon’tknowhalfthetimehowhardthey’rehitting。”

  “Iguessshemeantthatshedidn’twantme,anyway。”saidMaveringgloomily。

  “Ah,Idon’tknowaboutthat。You’dbetteraskherthenexttimeyouseeher。Good-bye。”Hehadrisen,andheofferedhishandtoMavering,whowasstillseated。

  “Why,I’vehalfamindtogowithyou。”

  “Allright,comealong。ButIthoughtyoumightbegoingrightontoBoston。”

  “No;I’llwaitandgoonwithyou。How,doyougototherace?”

  “Inthepressboat。”

  “Anywomen?”

  “No;wedon’tsendthemonthissortofduty。”

  “Thatsettlesit。IhavegotallIwantofthatparticularsexforthetimebeing。”Maveringworeaverybitterairashesaidthis;itseemedtohimthathewouldalwaysbecynical;herose,andarrangedtoleavehisbagwiththerestaurateur,whoputitunderthecounter,andthenhewentoutwithhisfriend。

  Thesunhadcomeout,andthefogwasburningaway;therewaslifeandliftintheair,whichtherejectedlovercouldnotrefusetofeel,andhesaid,lookinground,andupanddowntheanimatedstreet。“Iguessyou’regoingtohaveagooddayforit。”

  Thepavementwasprettywellfilledwithwomenwhohadbegunshopping。

  Carriageswerestandingbesidethepavement;aladycrossedthepavementfromashopdoortowardacoupejustinfrontofthem,withherhandfulloflightpackages;shedroppedoneofthem,andMaveringsprangforwardinstinctivelyandpickeditupforher。

  “Oh,thankyou!“shesaid,withthedeepgratitudewhichsocietycultivatesforthesmallestservices。Thensheliftedherdroopedeyelashes,and,withaflashofsurprise,exclaimed,“Mr。Mavering!“anddroppedallherpackagesthatshemightshakehandswithhim。

  Boardmansaunteredslowlyon,butsawwithabackwardglanceMaveringcarryingthelady’spackagestothecoupeforher;sawhimlifthishatthere,andshakehandswithsomebodyinthecoupe,andthenstandtalkingbesideit。HewaitedatthecorneroftheblockforMaveringtocomeup,affectinganinterestintheneck-wearofafurnisher’swindow。

  InaboutfiveminutesMaveringjoinedhim。

  “Lookhere,Boardman!Thoseladieshavesnaggedontome。”

  “Aretheretwoofthem?”

  “Yes,oneinside。Andtheywantmetogowiththentoseetherace。

  Theirfather’sgotalittlesteam-yacht。Theywantyoutogotoo。”

  Boardmanshookhishead。

  “Well,that’swhatItoldthem——toldthemthatyouhadtogoonthepressboat。Theysaidtheywishedtheyweregoingonthepressboattoo。ButIdon’tseehowIcanrefuse。They’reladiesthatImetClassDay,andI

  oughttohaveshownthemalittlemoreattentionthen;butIgotsotakenupwith——“

  “Isee。”saidBoardman,showinghisteeth,fineandevenasgrainsofpop-corn,inaslightsarcasticsmile。“Sortofpoeticaljustice。”hesuggested。

  “Well,itis——sortof。”saidMavering,withashamefacedconsciousness。

  “Whattrainareyougoingbackon?”

  “Seveno’clock。”

  “I’llbethere。”

  Hehurriedbacktorejointheladies,andBoardmansawhim,aftersomeparleyandlaughter,getintothecoupe,fromwhichheinferredthattheyhadturneddownthelittleseatinfront,andmadehimtakeit;andheinferredthattheymustbeveryjolly,sociablegirls。

  HedidnotseeMaveringagaintillthetrainwasonitsway,whenhecamein,lookingdistraughtlyaboutforhisfriend。Hewasagainverymelancholy,andsaiddejectedlythattheyhadmadehimstaytodinner,andhadthendrivenhimdowntothestation,bagandall。“Theoldgentlemancametoo。IwasinhopesI’dfindyouhangingroundsomewhere,sothatIcouldintroduceyou。They’reawfullynice。NoneofthatinfernalBostonstiffness。Theoneyousawmetalkingwithismarried,though。”

  Boardmanwaswritingouthisreportfromalittlebookwithshorthandnotesinit。Therewerehalfadozenotherreportersinthecarbusywiththeirwork。Amanwhoseemedtobeinauthoritysaidtooneofthem,“Trytothrowinalittlehumour。”

  Maveringpulledhishatoverhiseyes,andleanedhisheadonthebackofhisseat,andtriedtosleep。

  XXIII。

  Athisfather’sagencyinBostonhefound,thenextmorning,aletterfromhimsayingthatheexpectedtobedownthatday,andaskingDantomeethimattheParkerHousefordinner。TheletterintimatedtheelderMavering’sexpectationthathissonhadreachedsomeconclusioninthemattertheyhadtalkedofbeforeheleftforCampobello。

  ItgaveDanashiverofself-disgustandasickfeelingofhopelessness。

  Hewasquitewillingnowtodowhateverhisfatherwished,buthedidnotseehawhecouldfacehimandownhisdefeat。

  Whentheymet,hisfatherdidnotseemtonoticehisdespondency,andheaskedhimnothingaboutthePasmers,ofcourse。ThatwouldnothavebeentheAmericanway。NothinghadbeensaidbetweenthefatherandsonastothespecialadvantagesofCampobelloforthedecisionofthequestionpendingwhentheysaweachotherlast;butthesonknewthatthefatherguessedwhyhechosethatislandforthepurpose;andnowtheelderknewthatiftheyoungerhadanythingtotellhimhewouldtellit,andifhehadnothewouldkeepit。Itwastacitlyunderstoodthattherewasnoobjectiononthefather’sparttoMissPasmer;infact,therehadbeenaglimmerofhumorousintelligenceinhiseyewhenthesonsaidhethoughtheshouldrundowntoBarHarbour,andperhapstoCampobello,buthehadsaidnothingtobetrayhisconsciousness。

  Theymetinthereading-roomatParker’s,andDansaid,“Hello,father。”

  andhisfatheranswered,“Well,Dan;“andtheyshylytouchedthehandsdroppedattheirsidesastheypressedtogetherinthecrowd。Thefathergavehisboyakeenglance,andthentooktheleadintothedining-room,wherehechoseacornertable,andtheydisposedoftheirhatsonthewindow-seat。

  “Allwellathome?”askedtheyoungfellow,ashetookupthebilloffaretoorderthedinner。Hisfatherhatedthat,andalwaysmadehimdoit。

  “Yes,yes;asusual,Ibelieve。Minnieisoffforaweekatthemountains;Euniceisathome。”

  “Oh!Howwouldyoulikesomegreengoose,withapple-sauce,sweet-

  potatoes,andsuccotash?”

  “Itseemstomethatwasprettygood,thelasttime。Allright,ifyoulikeit。”

  “Idon’tknowthatIcareforanythingmuch。I’malittleoffmyfeed。

  Nosoup。”hesaid,lookingupatthewaiterbendingoverhim;andthenhegavetheorder。“IthinkyoumaybringmehalfadozenBluePoints,ifthey’regood。”hecalledafterhim。

  “Didn’tBarHarbouragreewithyou——orCampobello?”askedMr。Mavering,takingtheopeningofferedhim。

  “No,notverywell。”saidDan;andhesaidnomoreaboutit,leavinghisfathertomakehisowninferencesastothekindordegreeofthedisagreement。

  “Well,haveyoumadeupyourmind?”askedthefather,restinghiselbowsoneithersideofhisplate,andputtinghishandstogethersoftly,whilehelookedacrossthemwithacheerykindnessathisboy。

  “Yes,Ihave。”saidDanslowly。

  “Well?”

  “Idon’tbelieveIcaretogointothelaw。”

  “Sure?”

  “Yes。”

  “Well,that’sallright,then。Iwishedyoutochoosefreely,andI

  supposeyou’vedoneso。”

  “OhYes。”

  “Ithinkyou’vechosenwisely,andI’mveryglad。It’saweightoffmymind。Ithinkyou’llbehappierinthebusinessthanyouwouldinthelaw;Ithinkyou’llenjoyit。Youneedn’tlookforwardtoagreatdealofPonkwassetFalls,unlessyoulike。”

  “Ishouldn’tmindgoingthere。”saidDanlistlessly。

  “Itwon’tbenecessary——atfirst。Infact,itwon’tbedesirable。I

  wantyoutolookupthebusinessatthisendalittle。”

  Dangaveastart。“InBoston?”

  “Yes。Itisn’tintheshapeIwanttohaveit。Iproposetoopenaplaceofourown,andtoputyouincharge。”Somethingintheyoungman’sfaceexpressedreluctance,andhisfatheraskedkindly,“Wouldthatbedistastefultoyou?”

  “Ohno。Itisn’tthethingIobjectto,butIdon’tknowthatIcaretobeinBoston。”Heliftedhisfaceandlookedhisfatherfullintheeyes,butwithagazethatrefusedtoconveyanythingdefinite。Thenthefatherknewthattheboy’sloveaffairhadgoneseriouslywrong。

  Thewaitercamewiththedinner,andmadeaninterruptioninwhichtheycouldbenaturallysilent。Whenhehadputthedinnerbeforethem,andcumberedthemwithsuperfluousservice,afterthefashionofhiskind,hewithdrewalittleway,andleftthemtoresumetheirtalk。

  “Well。”saidtheelderlightly,asifDan’snotcaringtobeinBostonhadnoparticularsignificanceforhim,“Idon’tknowthatIcaretohaveyousettledowntoitimmediately。IratherthinkI’dliketohaveyoulookaboutfirstalittle。GotoNewYork,gotoPhiladelphia,andseetheirprocessesthere。Wecan’taffordtogetold-fashionedinourways。

  I’vealwaysbeenmoreinterestedbytheaestheticsideofthebusiness,butyououghttohaveatasteforthemechanism,fromyourgrandfather;

  yourmotherhasit。”

  “Ohyes,sir。Ithinkallthat’sveryinteresting。”saidDan。

  “Well,gotoFrance,andseehowthosefellowsdoit。GotoLondon,andlookupWilliamMorris。”

  “Yes,thatwouldbeverynice。”admittedtheyoungfellow,beginningtocatchon。“ButIdidn’tsuppose——Ididn’texpecttobeginlifewithapicnic。”Heentereduponhissentencewithajocularbuoyancy,butatthelastword,whichhefatallydriftedupon,hisvoicefell。Hesaidtohimselfthathewasgreatlychanged;that,heshouldneverbegayandbrightagain;therewouldalwaysbethisundercurrentofsadness;hehadnoticedtheundercurrentyesterdaywhenhewaslaughingandjokingwiththosegirlsatPortland。

  “Oh,Idon’twantyoutobuckledownatonce。”saidhisfather,smiling。

  “Ifyou’ddecideduponthelaw,Ishouldhavefeltthatyou’dbetternotlosetime。Butasyou’regoingintothebusiness,Idon’tmindyourtakingayearoff。Itwon’tbelosttimeifyoukeepyoureyesopen。I

  thinkyou’dbettergodownintoItalyandSpain。Lookuptheoldtapestriesandstampedleathers。Youmaygetsomeideas。Howwouldyoulikeit?”

  “First-rate。Ishouldlikeit。”saidDan,risingonthewaftofhisfather’ssuggestion,butgloomilylapsingagain。Still,itwaspleasingtopicturehimselfgoingaboutthroughEuropewithabrokenheart,andhedidnotdenyhimselftheconsolationofthevision。

  “Well,there’snobodytodislikeit。”saidhisfathercheerily。HewassurenowthatDanhadbeenjilted;otherwisehewouldhaveputforthsomeobjectiontoaschemewhichmustinterrupthislovemaking。“There’snoreasonwhy,withourresources,weshouldn’ttaketheleadinthisbusiness。”

  Hewentontospeakmorefullyofhisplans,andDanlistenedwithanetherreferenceofitalltoAlice,butstillwithasurfaceintelligenceonwhichnothingwaslost。

  “Areyougoinghomewithmeto-morrow?”askedhisfatherastheyrosefromthetable。

  “Well,perhapsnotto-morrow。I’vegotsomeofmythingstoputtogetherinCambridgeyet,andperhapsI’dbetterlookafterthem。ButI’veanotionI’dbetterspendthewinterathome,andgetanideaofthemanufacturebeforeIgoabroad。ImightsailinJanuary;theysayit’sagoodmonth。”

  “Yes,there’ssenseinthat。”saidhisfather。

  “AndperhapsIwon’tbreakupinCambridgetillI’vebeentoNewYorkandPhiladelphia。Whatdoyouthink?It’seasierstrikingthemfromhere。”

  “Idon’tknowbutyou’reright。”saidhisfathereasily。

  Theyhadcomeoutofthedining-room,andDanstoppedtogetsomecigarettesintheoffice。Helookedmechanicallyatthetheatrebillsoverthecigarcase。“IseeIrving’satthe’Boston。’“

  “Oh,youdon’tsay!“saidhisfather。“Let’sgoandseehim。”

  “Ifyouwishit,sir。”saidDan,withpensiveacquiescence。AlltheMaveringswerefondofthetheatre,andmadeanymoodtheoccasionorthepretextofgoingtotheplay。Iftheyweresad,theywent;iftheyweregay,theywent。AslongasDan’smothercouldgetout-of-doorssheusedtohaveherselfcarriedtoaboxinthetheatrewhenevershewasintown;

  nowthatshenolongerleftherroom,shehadadominantpassionforhearingaboutactorsandacting;itwasalmostaworkofpietyinherhusbandandchildrentoseethemandreporttoher。

点击下载App,搜索"April Hopes",免费读到尾