第14章
加入书架 A- A+
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  Inthiseighty-secondyearofhisagehewascompelledtoremaincontinentforaboutsevenmonths,duringwhichtimehemetnowomankindlydisposedtowardshim;andhedeclaredbeforethejudgethatthathadcausedthegreatestastonishmentofhislongandhonourablelife。InthismostpitiablestatehesawinthefieldsduringthemerrymonthofMayagirl,whobychancewasamaiden,andmindingcows。Theheatwassoexcessivethatthiscowherdesshadstretchedherselfbeneaththeshadowofabeechtree,herfacetotheground,afterthecustomofpeoplewholabourinthefields,inordertogetalittlenapwhileheranimalsweregrazing。Shewasawakenedbythedeedoftheoldman,whohadstolenfromherthatwhichapoorgirlcouldonlyloseonce。Findingherselfruinedwithoutreceivingfromtheprocesseitherknowledgeorpleasure,shecriedoutsoloudlythatthepeopleworkinginthefieldsrantoher,andwerecalleduponbyheraswitnesses,atthetimewhenthatdestructionwasvisibleinherwhichisappropriateonlytoabridalnight。Shecriedandgroaned,sayingthattheoldapemightjustaswellhaveplayedhistricksonhermother,whowouldhavesaidnothing。

  Hemadeanswertothepeasants,whohadalreadyraisedtheirhoestokillhim,thathehadbeencompelledtoenjoyhimself。Thesepeopleobjectedthatamancanenjoyhimselfverywellwithoutenjoyingamaiden——acasefortheprovost,whichwouldbringhimstraighttothegallows;andhewastakenwithgreatclamourtothejailofRouen。

  Thegirl,interrogatedbytheprovost,declaredthatshewassleepinginordertodosomething,andthatshethoughtshewasdreamingofherlover,withwhomshewasthenatloggerheads,becausebeforemarriagehewishedtotakecertainliberties:andjokingly,inthisdreamshelethimreconnoitertoacertainextent,inordertoavoidanydisputeafterwards,andthatinspiteofherprohibitionshewentfurtherthanshehadgivenhimleavetogo,andfindingmorepainthanpleasureintheaffair,shehadbeenawakenedbyVieuxpar-Chemins,whohadattackedherasagray-friarwouldahamattheendoflent。

  ThistrialcausedsogreatacommotioninthetownofRouenthattheprovostwassentforbytheduke,whohadanintensedesiretoknowifthethingweretrue。Upontheaffirmationoftheprovost,heorderedVieuxpar-Cheminstobebroughttohispalace,inorderthathemighthearwhatdefencehehadtomake。Thepooroldfellowappearedbeforetheprince,andinformedhimnaivelyofthemisfortunewhichhisimpulsivenaturebroughtuponhim,declaringthathewaslikeayoungfellowimpelledbyimperiousdesires;thatuptothepresentyearhehadsweetheartsofhisown,butforthelasteightmonthshehadbeenatotalabstainer;thathewastoopoortofindfavourwiththegirlsofthetown;thathonestwomenwhooncewerecharitabletohim,hadtakenadisliketohishair,whichhadfeloniouslyturnedwhiteinspiteofthegreenyouthofhislove,andthathefeltcompelledtoavailhimselfofthechancewhenhesawthismaiden,who,stretchedatfulllengthunderthebeechtree,leftvisibletheliningofherdressandtwohemispheres,whiteassnow,whichhaddeprivedhimofreason;

  thatthefaultwasthegirl\'sandnothis,becauseyoungmaidensshouldbeforbiddentoenticepassers-bybyshowingthemthatwhichcausedVenustobenamedCallipyge;finallytheprinceoughttobeawarewhattroubleamanhadtocontrolhimselfatthehourofnoon,becausethatwasthetimeofdayatwhichKingDavidwassmittenwiththewifeoftheSieurUriah,thatwhereaHebrewking,belovedofGod,hadsuccumbed,apoorman,deprivedofalljoy,andreducedtobeggingforhisbread,couldnotexpecttoescape;thatforthatmatterofthat,hewasquitewillingtosingpsalmsfortheremainderofhisdays,andplayuponalutebywayofpenance,inimitationofthesaidking,whohadhadthemisfortunetoslayahusband,whilehehadonlydoneatriflinginjurytoapeasantgirl。ThedukelistenedtotheargumentsofVieuxpar-Chemins,andsaidthathewasamanofgoodparts。Thenhemadehismemorabledecree,thatif,asthisbeggardeclared,hehadneedofsuchgratificationathisagehegavepermissiontoproveitatthefootoftheladderwhichhewouldhavetomounttobehanged,accordingtothesentencealreadypassedonhimbytheprovost;thatifthen,theropebeingroundhisneck,betweenthepriestandthehangman,alikedesireseizedhimheshouldhaveafreepardon。

  Thisdecreebecomingknown,therewasatremendouscrowdtoseetheoldfellowledtothegallows。Therewasalinedrawnupasifforaducalentry,andinitmanymorebonnetsthanhats。Vieuxpar-Cheminswassavedbyaladycurioustoseehowthispreciousviolatorwouldfinishhiscareer。Shetoldthedukethatreligiondemandedthatheshouldhaveafairchance。Andshedressedherselfasifforaball;

  shebroughtintentionallyintoevidencetwohillocksofsuchsnowywhitenessthatthewhitestlinenneckerchiefwouldhavepaledbeforethem;indeed,thesefruitsoflovestoodout,withoutawrinkle,overhercorset,liketwobeautifulapples,andmadeone\'smouthwater,soexquisitewerethey。Thisnoblelady,whowasoneofthosewhorouseone\'smanhood,hadasmilereadyonherlipsfortheoldfellow。Vieuxpar-Chemins,dressedingarmentsofcoarsecloth,morecertainofbeinginthedesiredstateafterhangingthanbeforeit,camealongbetweentheofficersofjusticewithasadcountenance,glancingnowhereandthere,andseeingnothingbuthead-dresses;andhewouldhedeclared,havegivenahundredcrownsforagirltuckedupaswasthecowherdess,whosecharms,thoughtheyhadbeenhisruin,hestillremembered,andtheymightstillhavesavedhim;but,ashewasold,theremembrancewasnotsufficientlyrecent。Butwhen,atthefootoftheladder,hesawthetwincharmsofthelady,andtheprettydeltathattheirconfluentrotunditiesproduced,thesightsomuchexcitedhimthathisemotionwaspatenttothespectators。

  “Makehasteandseethattherequiredconditionsarefulfilled,“saidhetotheofficers。“IhavegainedmypardonbutIcannotanswerformysaviour。“

  Theladywaswellpleasedwiththishomage,which,shesaid,wasgreaterthanhisoffence。Theguards,whosebusinessitwastoproceedtoaverification,believedtheculprittobethedevil,becauseneverintheirwitshadtheyseenan“I“soperpendicularaswastheoldman。Hewasmarchedintriumphthroughthetowntothepalaceoftheduke,towhomtheguardsandothersstatedthefacts。Inthatperiodofignorance,thisaffairwasthoughtsomuchofthatthetownvotedtheerectionofacolumnonthespotwheretheoldfellowgainedhispardon,andhewasportrayedthereoninstoneintheattitudeheassumedatthesightofthathonestandvirtuouslady。ThestatuewasstilltobeseenwhenRouenwastakenbytheEnglish,andthewritersoftheperiodhaveincludedthishistoryamongthenotableeventsofthereign。

  Asthetownofferedtosupplytheoldmanwithallherequired,andseetohissustenance,clothing,andamusements,thegooddukearrangedmattersbygivingtheinjuredmaidenathousandcrownsandmarryinghertoherseducer,whothenlosthisnameofVieuxpar-

  Chemins。HewasnamedbytheduketheSieurdeBonne-C。Thiswifewasconfinedninemonthsafterwardsofaperfectlyformedmalechild,aliveandkicking,andbornwithtwoteeth。FromthismarriagecamethehouseofBonne-C——,whofrommotivesmodestbutwrong,besoughtourwell-belovedKingLouisEleventhtograntthemletterspatenttochangetheirnamesintothatofBonne-Chose。ThekingpointedouttotheSieurdeBonne-C——thattherewasinthestateofVeniceanillustriousfamilynamedCoglioni,whoworethree“C——aunatural“ontheircoatofarms。ThegentlemenoftheHouseofBonne-C——statedtothekingthattheirwiveswereashamedtobethuscalledinpublicassemblies;thekingansweredthattheywouldloseagreatdeal,becausethereisagreatdealinaname。

  Nevertheless,hegrantedtheletters。Afterthatthisracewasknownbythisname,andfoundedfamiliesinmanyprovinces。ThefirstSieurdeBonne-C——livedanother27years,andhadanothersonandtwodaughters。Buthegrievedmuchatbecomingrich,andnolongerbeingabletopickupalivinginthestreet。

  Fromthisyoucanobtainfinerlessonsandhighermoralsthanfromanystoryyouwillreadallyourlifelong——ofcourseexceptingthesehundredgloriousDrollTales——namely,thatnevercouldadventureofthissorthavehappenedtotheimpairedandruinedconstitutionsofcourtrascals,richpeopleandotherswhodigtheirgraveswiththeirteethbyover-eatinganddrinkingmanywinesthatimpairtheimplementsofhappiness;whichsaidover-fedpeoplewerelollingluxuriouslyincostlydraperiesandonfeatherbeds,whiletheSieurdeBonne-Chosewasroughingit。Inasimilarsituation,iftheyhadeatencabbage,itwouldhavegiventhemthediarrhoea。Thismayincitemanyofthosewhoreadthisstorytochangetheirmodeoflife,inordertoimitateVieuxpar-Cheminsinhisoldage。

  ODDSAYINGSOFTHREEPILGRIMS

  WhenthepopelefthisgoodtownofAvignontotakeuphisresidenceinRome,certainpilgrimswerethrownoutwhohadsetoutforthiscountry,andwouldhavetopassthehighAlps,inordertogainthissaidtownofRome,wheretheyweregoingtoseekthe/remittimus/ofvarioussins。Thenweretobeseenontheroads,andthehostelries,thosewhoworetheorderofCain,otherwisetheflowerofthepenitents,allwickedfellows,burdenedwithleproussouls,whichthirstedtobatheinthepapalpiscina,andallcarryingwiththemgoldorpreciousthingstopurchaseabsolution,payfortheirbeds,andpresenttothesaints。Youmaybesurethatthosewhodrankwatergoing,ontheirreturn,ifthelandlordsgavethemwater,wishedittobetheholywaterofthecellar。

  AtthistimethethreepilgrimscametothissaidAvignontotheirinjury,seeingthatitwaswidowedofthepope。WhiletheywerepassingtheRhodane,toreachtheMediterraneancoast,oneofthethreepilgrims,whohadwithhimasonabout10yearsofage,partedcompanywiththeothers,andnearthetownofMilansuddenlyappearedagain,butwithouttheboy。Nowintheevening,atsupper,theyhadaheartyfeastinordertocelebratethereturnofthepilgrim,whotheythoughthadbecomedisgustedwithpenitencethroughthepopenotbeinginAvignon。OfthesethreeroamerstoRome,onehadcomefromthecityofParis,theotherfromGermany,andthethird,whodoubtlesswishedtoinstructhissononthejourney,hadhishomeintheduchyofBurgundy,inwhichhehadcertainfiefs,andwasayoungersonofthehouseofVillers-la-FayeVillainFago,andwasnamedLaVaugrenand。

  TheGermanbaronhadmetthecitizenofParisjustpastLyons,andbothhadaccostedtheSiredelaVaugrenandinsightofAvignon。

  Nowinthishostelrythethreepilgrimsloosenedtheirtongues,andagreedtojourneytoRometogether,inorderthebettertoresistthefootpads,thenight-birds,andothermalefactors,whomadeittheirbusinesstoeasepilgrimsofthatwhichweighedupontheirbodiesbeforethepopeeasedthemofthatwhichweighedupontheirconsciences。Afterdrinkingthethreecompanionscommencedtotalktogether,forthebottleisthekeyofconversation,andeachmadethisconfession——thatthecauseofhispilgrimagewasawoman。Theservantwhowatchedtheirdrinking,toldthemthatofahundredpilgrimswhostoppedinthelocality,ninety-nineweretravellingfromthesamething。Thesethreewisementhenbegantoconsiderhowperniciousiswomantoman。TheBaronshowedtheheavygoldchainthathehadinhishauberktopresenttoSaintPeter,andsaidhiscrimewassuchthathewouldnotgetridofwiththevalueoftwosuchchains。TheParisiantookoffhisglove,andexposedaringsetwithawhitediamond,sayingthathehadahundredlikeitforthepope。TheBurgundiantookoffhishat,andexhibitedtwowonderfulpearls,thatwerebeautifulear-pendantsforNotre-Dame-de-Lorette,andcandidlyconfessedthathewouldratherhaveleftthemroundhiswife\'sneck。

  ThereupontheservantexclaimedthattheirsinsmusthavebeenasgreatasthoseofVisconti。

  Thenthepilgrimsrepliedthattheyweresuchthattheyhadmadeasolemnvowintheirmindsnevertogoastrayagainduringtheremainderoftheirdays,howeverbeautifulthewomanmightbe,andthisinadditiontothepenancewhichthepopemightimposeuponthem。

  Thentheservantexpressedherastonishmentthatallhadmadethesamevow。TheBurgundianadded,thatthisvowhadbeenthecauseofhislaggingbehind,becausehehadbeeninextremefearthathisson,inspiteofhisage,mightgoastray,andthathehadmadeavowtopreventpeopleandbeastsalikegratifyingtheirpassionsinhishouse,oruponhisestates。Thebaronhavinginquiredtheparticularsoftheadventure,thesirenarratedtheaffairasfollows:——

  “YouknowthatthegoodCountessJeaned\'Avignonmadeformerlyalawfortheharlots,whoshecompelledtoliveintheoutskirtsofthetowninhouseswithwindow-shutterspaintedredandclosed。Nowpassinginmycompanyinthisvileneighbourhood,myladremarkedthesehouseswithclosedwindow-shutters,paintedred,andhiscuriositybeingaroused——fortheseten-yearoldlittledevilshaveeyesforeverything——hepulledmebythesleeveandkeptonpullinguntilhehadlearntfrommewhatthesehouseswere。Then,toobtainpeace,Itoldhimthatyoungladshadnothingtodowithsuchplaces,andcouldonlyenterthemattheperiloftheirlives,becauseitwasaplacewheremenandwomenweremanufactured,andthedangerwassuchforanyoneunacquaintedwiththebusinessthatifanoviceentered,flyingchancresandotherwildbeastswouldseizeuponhisface。Fearseizedthelad,whothenfollowedmetothehostelryinastateofagitation,andnotdaringtocasthiseyesuponthesaidbordels。

  WhileIwasinthestable,seeingtotheputtingupofthehorses,mysonwentofflikearobber,andtheservantwasunabletotellmewhathadbecomeofhim。ThenIwasingreatfearofthewenches,buthadconfidenceinthelaws,whichforbadethemtoadmitsuchchildren。Atsupper-timetherascalcamebacktomelookingnomoreashamedofhimselfthandidourdivineSaviourinthetempleamongthedoctors。

  “\'Whencecomesyou?\'saidItohim。

  “\'Fromthehouseswiththeredshutters,\'hereplied。

  “\'Littleblackguard,\'saidI,\'I\'llgiveyouatasteofthewhip。\'

  “Thenhebegantomoanandcry。ItoldhimthatifhewouldconfessallthathadhappenedtohimIwouldlethimoffthebeating。

  “\'Ha,\'saidhe,\'Itookcarenottogoin,becauseoftheflyingchancresandotherwildbeasts。Ionlylookedthroughthechinksofthewindows,inordertoseehowmenweremanufactured。\'

  “\'Andwhatdidyousee?\'Iasked。

  “\'Isaw,\'saidhe,\'afinewomanjustbeingfinished,becausesheonlywantedonepeg,whichayoungworkerwasfittinginwithenergy。

  Directlyshewasfinishedsheturnedround,spoketo,andkissedhermanufacturer。\'

  “\'Haveyoursupper,\'saidI;andthesamenightIreturnedintoBurgundy,andlefthimwithhismother,beingsorelyafraidthatatthefirsttownhemightwanttofitapegintosomegirl。“

  “Thesechildrenoftenmakethesesortofanswers,“saidtheParisian。

  “Oneofmyneighbour\'schildrenrevealedthecuckoldomofhisfatherbyareply。OnedayIasked,toseeifhewaswellinstructedatschoolinreligiousmatters,\'Whatishope?\'\'Oneoftheking\'sbigarchers,whocomesherewhenfathergoesout,\'saidhe。Indeed,thesergeantoftheArcherswasnamedHope。Myfriendwasdumbfoundedatthis,and,althoughtokeephiscountenancehelookedinthemirror,hecouldnotseehishornsthere。“

  Thebaronobservedthattheboy\'sremarkwasgoodinthisway:thatHopeisapersonwhocomestobedwithuswhentherealitiesoflifeareoutoftheway。

  “IsacuckoldmadeintheimageofGod?”askedtheBurgundian。

  “No,“saidtheParisian,“becauseGodwaswiseinthisrespect,thathetooknowife;thereforeisHehappythroughalleternity。“

  “But,“saidthemaid-servant,“cuckoldsaremadeintheimageofGodbeforetheyarehorned。“

  Thenthethreepilgrimsbegantocursewomen,sayingthattheywerethecauseofalltheevilsintheworld。

  “Theirheadsareasemptyashelmets,“saidtheBurgundian。

  “Theirheartsareasstraightasbill-hooks,“saidtheParisian。

  “Whyaretheresomanymenpilgrimsandsofewwomenpilgrims?”saidtheGermanbaron。

  “Theircursedmemberneversins,“repliedtheParisian;“itknowsneitherfathernormother,thecommandmentsofGod,northoseoftheChurch,neitherlawsdivineorhuman:theirmemberknowsnodoctrine,understandsnoheresies,andcannotbeblamed;itisinnocentofall,andalwaysonthelaugh;itsunderstandingisnil;andforthisreasondoIholditinutterdetestation。“

  “Ialso,“saidtheBurgundian,“andIbegintounderstandthedifferentreadingbyalearnedmanoftheversesoftheBible,inwhichtheaccountofthecreationisgiven。InthisCommentary,whichinmycountrywecallaNoel,liesthereasonofimperfectionofthisfeatureofwomen,ofwhich,differenttothatofotherfemales,nomancanslakethethirst,suchdiabolicalheatexistingthere。InthisNoelisstatedthattheLordGod,havingturnedhisheadtolookatadonkey,whohadbrayedforthefirsttimeinhisParadise,whilehewasmanufacturingEve,thedevilseizedthismomenttoputhisfingerintothisdivinecreature,andmadeawarmwound,whichtheLordtookcaretoclosewithastitch,fromwhichcomesthemaid。Bymeansofthisfrenum,thewomanshouldremainclosed,andchildrenbemadeinthesamemannerinwhichGodmadetheangels,byapleasurefarabovecarnalpleasureastheheavenisabovetheearth。Observingthisclosing,thedevil,wildatbeingdone,pinchedtheSieurAdam,whowasasleep,bytheskin,andstretchedaportionofitoutinimitationofhisdiabolicaltail;butasthefatherofmanwasonhisbackthisappendagecameoutinfront。Thusthesetwoproductionsofthedevilhadthedesiretoreunitethemselves,followingthelawofsimilaritieswhichGodhadlaiddownfortheconductoftheworld。

  Fromthiscamethefirstsinandthesorrowsofthehumanrace,becauseGod,noticingthedevil\'swork,determinedtoseewhatwouldcomeofit。“

  Theservantdeclaredthattheywerequitecorrectinthestatements,forthatwomanwasabadanimal,andthatsheherselfknewsomewhowerebetterunderthegroundthanonit。Thepilgrims,noticingthenhowprettythegirlwas,wereafraidofbreakingtheirvows,andwentstraighttobed。Thegirlwentandtoldhermistressshewasharbouringinfidels,andtoldherwhattheyhadsaidaboutwomen。

  “Ah!”saidthelandlady,“whatmattersittomethethoughtsmycustomershaveintheirbrains,solongastheirpursesarewellfilled。“

  Andwhentheservanthadtoldofthejewels,sheexclaimed——

  “Ah,thesearequestionswhichconcernallwomen。Letusgoandreasonwiththem。I\'lltakethenobles,youcanhavethecitizen。“

  Thelandlady,whowasthemostshamelessinhabitantoftheduchyofMilan,wentintothechamberwheretheSiredeLaVaugrenandandtheGermanbaronweresleeping,andcongratulatedthemupontheirvows,sayingthatthewomenwouldnotlosemuchbythem;buttoaccomplishthesesaidvowsitwasnecessarytheyshouldendeavourtowithstandthestrongesttemptations。Thensheofferedtoliedownbesidethem,soanxiouswereshetoseeifshewouldbeleftunmolested,athingwhichhadneverhappenedtoheryetinthecompanyofaman。

  Onthemorrow,atbreakfast,theservanthadtheringonherfinger,hermistresshadthegoldchainandthepearlearrings。Thethreepilgrimsstayedinthetownaboutamonth,spendingthereallthemoneytheyhadintheirpurses,andagreedthatiftheyhadspokensoseverelyofwomenitwasbecausetheyhadnotknownthoseofMilan。

  OnhisreturntoGermanytheBaronmadethisobservation:thathewasonlyguiltyofonesin,thatofbeinginhiscastle。TheCitizenofPariscamebackfullofstoriesforhiswife,andfoundherfullofHope。TheBurgundiansawMadamedeLaVaugrenandsotroubledthathenearlydiedoftheconsolationsheadministeredtoher,inspiteofhisformeropinions。Thisteachesustoholdourtonguesinhostelries。

  INNOCENCE

  Bythedoublecrestofmyfowl,andbytheroseliningofmysweetheart\'sslipper!Byallthehornsofwell-belovedcuckolds,andbythevirtueoftheirblessedwives!thefinestworkofmanisneitherpoetry,norpaintedpictures,normusic,norcastles,norstatues,betheycarvedneversowell,norrowing,norsailinggalleys,butchildren。

  Understandme,childrenuptotheageoftenyears,forafterthattheybecomemenorwomen,andcuttingtheirwisdomteeth,arenotworthwhattheycost;theworstarethebest。Watchthemplaying,prettilyandinnocently,withslippers;aboveall,cancellatedones,withthehouseholdutensils,leavingthatwhichdispleasesthem,cryingafterthatwhichpleasesthem,munchingthesweetsandconfectioneryinthehouse,nibblingatthestores,andalwayslaughingassoonastheirteetharecut,andyouwillagreewithmethattheyareineverywaylovable;besideswhichtheyareflowerandfruit——thefruitoflove,thefloweroflife。Beforetheirmindshavebeenunsettledbythedisturbancesoflife,thereisnothinginthisworldmoreblessedormorepleasantthantheirsayings,whicharenaivebeyonddescription。Thisisastrueasthedoublechewingmachineofacow。Donotexpectamantobeinnocentafterthemannerofchildren,becausethereisan,Iknownotwhat,ingredientofreasoninthenaivetyofaman,whilethenaivetyofchildreniscandid,immaculate,andhasallthefinesseofthemother,whichisplainlyprovedinthistale。

  QueenCatherinewasatthattimeDauphine,andtomakeherselfwelcometotheking,herfather-in-law,whoatthattimewasveryillindeed,presentedhim,fromtimetotime,withItalianpictures,knowingthathelikedthemmuch,beingafriendoftheSieurRaphaeld\'UrbinandoftheSieursPrimaticeandLeonardodaVinci,towhomhesentlargesumsofmoney。Sheobtainedfromherfamily——whohadthepickoftheseworks,becauseatthattimetheDukeoftheMedicisgovernedTuscany——

  apreciouspicture,paintedbyaVenetiannamedTitianartisttotheEmperorCharles,andinveryhighflavour,inwhichtherewereportraitsofAdamandEveatthemomentwhenGodleftthemtowanderabouttheterrestrialParadise,andwerepaintedtheirfullheight,inthecostumeoftheperiod,inwhichitisdifficulttomakeamistake,becausetheywereattiredintheirignorance,andcaparisonedwiththedivinegracewhichenvelopedthem——adifficultthingtoexecuteonaccountofthecolour,butoneinwhichthesaidSieurTitianexcelled。Thepicturewasputintotheroomofthepoorking,whowasthenillwiththediseaseofwhichheeventuallydied。IthadagreatsuccessattheCourtofFrance,whereeveryonewishedtoseeit;butnoonewasabletountilaftertheking\'sdeath,sinceathisdesireitwasallowedtoremaininhisroomaslongashelived。

  OnedayMadameCatherinetookwithhertotheking\'sroomhersonFrancisandlittleMargot,whobegantotalkatrandom,aschildrenwill。Nowhere,nowthere,thesechildrenhadheardthispictureofAdamandEvespokenabout,andhadtormentedtheirmothertotakethemthere。Sincethetwolittleonesattimesamusedtheoldking,MadametheDauphineconsentedtotheirrequest。

  “YouwishedtoseeAdamandEve,whowereourfirstparents;theretheyare,“saidshe。

  ThensheleftthemingreatastonishmentbeforeTitian\'spicture,andseatedherselfbythebedsideoftheking,whodelightedtowatchthechildren。

  “WhichofthetwoisAdam?”saidFrancis,nudginghissisterMargot\'selbow。

  “Yousilly!”repliedshe,“toknowthat,theywouldhavetobedressed!”

  Thisreply,whichdelightedthepoorkingandthemother,wasmentionedinaletterwritteninFlorencebyQueenCatherine。

  Nowriterhavingbroughtittolight,itwillremain,likeasweetflower,inacorneroftheseTales,althoughitisnowaydroll,andthereisnoothermoraltobedrawnfromitexceptthattoheartheseprettyspeechesofinfancyonemustbegetthechildren。

  THEFAIRIMPERIAMARRIED

  I

  HOWMADAMEIMPERIAWASCAUGHTBYTHEVERYNETSHEWAS

  ACCUSTOMEDTOSPREADFORHERLOVE-BIRDS

  ThelovelyladyImperia,whogloriouslyopensthesetales,becauseshewasthegloryofhertime,wascompelledtocomeintothetownofRome,aftertheholdingofthecouncil,forthecardinalofRagusalovedhermorethanhiscardinal\'shat,andwishedtohavehernearhim。Thisrascalwassomagnificent,thathepresentedherwiththebeautifulpalacethathehadinthePapalcapital。Aboutthistimeshehadthemisfortunetofindherselfinaninterestingconditionbythiscardinal。Aseveryoneknows,thispregnancyfinishedwithafinelittledaughter,concerningwhomthePopesaidjokinglythatsheshouldbenamedTheodora,asiftosayTheGiftOfGod。Thegirlwasthusnamed,andwasexquisitelylovely。ThecardinallefthisinheritancetothisTheodora,whomthefairImperiaestablishedinherhotel,forshewasflyingfromRomeasfromaperniciousplace,wherechildrenwerebegotten,andwhereshehadnearlyspoiledherbeautifulfigure,hercelebratedperfections,linesofthebody,curvesoftheback,deliciousbreasts,andSerpentinecharmswhichplacedherasmuchabovetheotherwomenofChristendomastheHolyFatherwasaboveallotherChristians。ButallherloversknewthatwiththeassistanceofelevendoctorsofPadua,sevenmastersurgeonsofPavia,andfivesurgeonscomefromallparts,whoassistedatherconfinement,shewaspreservedfromallinjury。Somegosofarastosaythatshegainedthereinsuperfinenessandwhitenessofskin。Afamousman,oftheschoolofSalerno,wroteabookonthesubject,toshowthevalueofaconfinementforthefreshness,health,preservation,andbeautyofwomen。InthisverylearnedbookitwasclearlyprovedtoreadersthatthatwhichwasbeautifultoseeinImperia,wasthatwhichitwaspermissibleforloversalonetobehold;ararecasethen,forshedidnotdisarrangeherattireforthepettyGermanprinceswhomshecalledhermargraves,burgraves,electors,anddukes,justasacaptainrankshissoldiers。

  Everyoneknowsthatwhenshewaseighteenyearsofage,thelovelyTheodora,toatoneforhermother\'sgaylife,wishedtoretireintothebosomoftheChurch。Withthisideasheplacedherselfinthehandsofacardinal,inorderthathemightinstructherinthedutiesofthedevout。Thiswickedshepherdfoundthelambsomagnificentlybeautifulthatheattemptedtodebauchher。Theodorainstantlystabbedherselfwithastiletto,inordernottobecontaminatedbytheevil-

  mindedpriest。Thisadventure,whichwasconsignedtothehistoryoftheperiod,madeagreatcommotioninRome,andwasdeploredbyeveryone,somuchwasthedaughterofImperiabeloved。

  Thenthisnoblecourtesan,muchafflicted,returnedtoRome,theretoweepforherpoordaughter。Shesetoutinthethirty-ninthyearofherage,whichwas,accordingtosomeauthors,thesummerofhermagnificentbeauty,becausethenshehadobtainedtheacmeofperfection,likeripefruit。Sorrowmadeherhaughtyandhardwiththosewhospoketoheroflove,inordertodryhertears。Thepopehimselfvisitedherinherpalace,andgavehercertainwordsofadmonition。Butsherefusedtobecomforted,sayingthatshewouldhenceforthdevoteherselftoGod,becauseshehadneveryetbeensatisfiedbyanyman,althoughshehadardentlydesiredit;andallofthem,evenalittlepriest,whomshehadadoredlikeasaint\'sshrine,haddeceivedher。God,shewassure,wouldnotdoso。

  Thisresolutiondisconcertedmany,forshewasthejoyofavastnumberoflords。SothatpeopleranaboutthestreetsofRomecryingout,“WhereisMadameImperia?Isshegoingtodeprivetheworldoflove?”Someoftheambassadorswrotetotheirmastersonthesubject。

  TheEmperoroftheRomanswasmuchcutupaboutit,becausehehadlovedhertodistractionforelevenweeks;hadleftheronlytogotothewars,andlovedherstillasmuchashismostpreciousmember,whichaccordingtohisownstatement,washiseye,forthataloneembracedthewholeofhisdearImperia。InthisextremitythePopesentforaSpanishphysician,andconductedhimtothebeautifulcreature,towhomheproved,byvariousarguments,adornedwithLatinandGreekquotations,thatbeautyisimpairedbytearsandtribulation,andthatthroughsorrow\'sdoorwrinklesstepin。Thisproposition,confirmedbythedoctorsoftheHolyCollegeincontroversy,hadtheeffectofopeningthedoorsofthepalacethatsameevening。Theyoungcardinals,theforeignenvoys,thewealthyinhabitants,andtheprincipalmenofthetownofRomecame,crowdedtherooms,andheldajoyousfestival;thecommonpeoplemadegrandilluminations,andthusthewholepopulationcelebratedthereturnoftheQueenofPleasuretoheroccupation,forshewasatthattimethepresidingdeityofLove。Theexpertsinalltheartslovedhermuch,becauseshespentconsiderablesumsofmoneyimprovingtheChurchinRome,whichcontainedpoorTheodora\'stomb,whichwasdestroyedduringthatpillageofRomeinwhichperishedthetraitorousconstableofBourbon,forthisholymaidenwasplacedthereininamassivecoffinofgoldandsilver,whichthecursedsoldierswereanxioustoobtain。

  Thebasiliccost,itissaid,morethanthepyramiderectedbytheLadyRhodepa,anEgyptiancourtesan,eighteenhundredyearsbeforethecomingofourdivineSaviour,whichprovestheantiquityofthispleasantoccupation,theextravagantpriceswhichthewiseEgyptianspaidfortheirpleasures,andhowthingsdeteriorate,seeingthatnowforatrifleyoucanhaveachemisefulloffemalelovelinessintheRueduPetit-Heulen,atParis。Isitnotabomination?

  NeverhadMadameImperiaappearedsolovelyasatthisfirstgalaafterhermourning。Alltheprinces,cardinals,andothersdeclaredthatshewasworthythehomageofthewholeworld,whichwasthererepresentedbyanoblefromeveryknownland,andthuswasitamplydemonstratedthatbeautywasineveryplacequeenofeverything。

  TheenvoyoftheKingofFrance,whowasacadetofthehouseofl\'IleAdam,arrivedlate,althoughhehadneveryetseenImperia,andwasmostanxioustodoso。Hewasahandsomeyoungknight,muchinfavourwithhissovereign,inwhosecourthehadamistress,whomhelovedwithinfinitetenderness,andwhowasthedaughterofMonsieurdeMontmorency,alordwhosedomainsbordereduponthoseofthehouseofl\'IleAdam。TothispennilesscadetthekinghadgivencertainmissionstotheduchyofMilan,ofwhichhehadacquittedhimselfsowellthathewassenttoRometoadvancethenegotiationsconcerningwhichhistorianshavewrittensomuchintheirbooks。Nowifhehadnothingofhisown,poorlittlel\'IleAdamrelieduponsogoodabeginning。Hewasslightlybuilt,butuprightasacolumn,dark,withblack,glisteningeyes;andamannoteasilytakenin;butconcealinghisfinesse,hehadtheairofaninnocentchild,whichmadehimgentleandamiableasalaughingmaiden。Directlythisgentlemanjoinedhercircle,andhereyeshadresteduponhim,MadameImperiafeltherselfbittenbyastrongdesire,whichstretchedtheharpstringsofhernature,andproducedtherefromasoundshehadnotheardformanyaday。Shewasseizedwithsuchavertigooftrueloveatthesightofthisfreshnessofyouth,thatbutforherimperialdignityshewouldhavekissedthegoodcheekswhichshonelikelittleapples。

  Nowtakenoteofthis;thatsocalledmodestwomen,andladieswhoseskirtsbeartheirarmorialbearings,arethoroughlyignorantofthenatureofman,becausetheykeeptoonealone,liketheQueenofFrancewhobelievedallmenhadulcersinthenosebecausethekinghad;butagreatcourtesan,likeMadameImperia,knewmantohiscore,becauseshehadhandledagreatmany。Inherretreat,everyonecameoutinhistruecolours,andconcealednothing,thinkingtohimselfthathewouldnotbelongwithher。Havingoftendeploredthissubjection,sometimesshewouldremarkthatshesufferedfrompleasuremorethanshesufferedfrompain。Therewasthedarkshadowofherlife。Youmaybesurethataloverwasoftencompelledtopartwithanicelittleheapofcrownsinordertopassthenightwithher,andwasreducedtodesperationbyarefusal。Nowforheritwasajoyfulthingtofeelayouthfuldesire,likethatshehadforthelittlepriest,whosestorycommencesthiscollection;butbecauseshewasolderthaninthosemerrydays,lovewasmorefullyestablishedinher,andshesoonperceivedthatitwasofafierynaturewhenitbegantomakeitselffelt;indeed,shesufferedinherskinlikeacatthatisbeingscorched,andsomuchsothatshehadanintenselongingtospringuponthisgentleman,andbearhimintriumphtohernest,asakitedoesitsprey,butwithgreatdifficultysherestrainedherself。Whenhecameandbowedtoher,shethrewbackherhead,andassumedamostdignifiedattitude,asdothosewhohavealoveinfatuationintheirhearts。Thegravityofherdemeanourtotheyoungambassadorcausedmanytothinkthatshehadworkinstoreforhim;

  equivocatingontheword,afterthecustomofthetime。

  L\'IleAdam,knowinghimselftobedearlylovedbyhismistress,troubledhimselfbutlittleaboutMadameImperia,graveorgay,andfriskedaboutlikeagoatletloose。Thecourtesan,terriblyannoyedatthis,changedhertone,frombeingsulkybecamegayandlively,cametohim,softenedhervoice,sharpenedherglance,gracefullyinclinedherhead,rubbedagainsthimwithhersleeve,andcalledhimMonsiegneur,embracedhimwiththelovingwords,trifledwithhishand,andfinishedbysmilingathimmostaffably。He,notimaginingthatsounprofitablealoverwouldsuither,forhewasaspoorasachurchmouse,anddidnotknowthathisbeautywastheequalinhereyestoallthetreasuresoftheworld,wasnottakeninhertrap,butcontinuedtoridethehighhorsewithhishandonhiships。ThisdisdainofherpassionirritatedMadametotheheart,whichbythissparkwassetinflame。Ifyoudoubtthis,itisbecauseyouknownothingoftheprofessionoftheMadameImperia,whobyreasonofitmightbecomparedtoachimney,inwhichagreatnumberoffireshavebeenlighted,whichhadfilleditwithsoot;inthisstateamatchwassufficienttoburneverythingthere,whereahundredfagotshassmokedcomfortably。Sheburnedwithinfromtoptotoeinahorriblemanner,andcouldnotbeextinguishedsavewiththewateroflove。Thecadetofl\'IleAdamlefttheroomwithoutnoticingthisardour。

  Madame,disconsolateathisdeparture,losthersensesfromherheadtoherfeet,andsothoroughlythatshesentamessengertohimonthegalleries,begginghimtopassthenightwithher。Onnootheroccasionofherlifehadshehadthiscowardice,eitherforking,pope,oremperor,sincethehighpriceofherfavourscamefromthebondageinwhichsheheldheradmirers,whomthemoreshehumbledthemoresheraisedherself。Thedisdainfulheroofthishistorywasinformedbytheheadchamber-women,whowasacleverjade,thatinallprobabilityagreattreatawaitedhim,formostcertainlyMadamewouldregalehimwithhermostdelicateinventionsoflove。L\'IleAdamreturnedtothesalons,delightedatthisluckychance。DirectlytheenvoyofFrancereappeared,aseveryonehadseenImperiaturnpaleathisdeparture,thegeneraljoyknewnobounds,becauseeveryonewasdelightedtoseeherreturntoheroldlifeoflove。AnEnglishcardinal,whohaddrainedmorethanonebig-belliedflagon,andwishedtotasteImperia,wenttol\'IleAdamandwhisperedtohim,“Holdherfast,sothatsheshallneveragainescapeus。“

  Thestoryofthisremarkwastoldtothepopeathislevee,andcausedhimtoremark,/Laetamini,gentes,quoniamsurrexitDominus/。A

  quotationwhichtheoldcardinalsabominatedasaprofanationofsacredtexts。Seeingwhich,thepopereprimandedthemseverely,andtookoccasiontolecturethem,tellingthemthatiftheyweregoodChristianstheywerebadpoliticians。Indeed,herelieduponthefairImperiatoreclaimtheemperor,andwiththisideahesyringedherwellwithflattery。

  Thelightsofthepalacebeingextinguished,thegoldenflagonsonthefloor,andtheservantsdrunkandstretchedaboutonthecarpets,Madameenteredherbedchamber,leadingbythehandherdearlover-

  elect;andshewaswellpleased,andhassinceconfessedthatsostronglywasshebittenwithlove,shecouldhardlyrestrainherselffromrollingathisfeetlikeabeastofthefield,begginghimtocrushherbeneathhimifhecould。L\'IleAdamslippedoffhisgarments,andtumbledintobedasifhewereinhisownhouse。Seeingwhich,Madamehastenedherpreparations,andsprangintoherlover\'sarmswithafrenzythatastonishedherwomen,whoknewhertobeordinarilyoneofthemostmodestofwomenontheseoccasions。Theastonishmentbecamegeneralthroughoutthecountry,forthepairremainedinbedforninedays,eating,drinking,andembracinginamarvellousandmostmasterlymanner。Madametoldherwomenthatatlastshehadplacedherhandonaphoenixoflove,sinceherevivedfromeveryattack。NothingwastalkedofinRomeandItalybutthevictorythathadbeengainedoverImperia,whohadboastedthatshewouldyieldtonoman,andspatuponallofthem,eventhedukes。Astotheaforesaidmargravesandburgraves,shegavethemthetailofherdresstohold,andsaidthatifshedidnottreadthemunderfoot,theywouldtrampleuponher。Madameconfessedtoherservantsthat,differentlytoallothermenshehadhadtoputupwith,themoreshefondledthischildoflove,themoreshedesiredtodoso,andthatshewouldneverbeabletopartwithhim;norhissplendideyes,whichblindedher;norhisbranchofcoral,thatshealwayshungeredafter。

  Shefurtherdeclaredthatifsuchwerehisdesire,shewouldlethimsuckherblood,eatherbreasts——whichwerethemostlovelyintheworld——andcuthertresses,ofwhichshehadonlygivenasingleonetotheEmperoroftheRomans,whokeptitinhisbreast,likeapreciousrelic;finally,sheconfessedthatonthatnightonlyhadlifebegunforher,becausetheembraceofVilliersdel\'IleAdamsentthebloodtoherinthreeboundsandinabraceofshakes。

  Theseexpressionsbecomingknown,madeeveryoneverymiserable。

  Directlyshewentout,ImperiatoldtheladiesofRomethatsheshoulddieitifsheweredesertedbythisgentleman,andwouldcauseherself,likeQueenCleopatra,tobebittenbyanasp。Shedeclaredopenlythatshehadbiddenaneternaladieuhertoherformergaylife,andwouldshowthewholeworldwhatvirtuewasbyabandoningherempireforthisVilliersdel\'IleAdam,whoseservantshewouldratherbethanreignofChristendom。TheEnglishcardinalremonstratedwiththepopethatthisloveforone,intheheartofawomanwhowasthejoyofall,wasaninfamousdepravity,andthatheoughtwithabrief/inpartibus/,toannulthismarriage,whichrobbedthefashionableworldofitsprincipalattraction。Buttheloveofthispoorwoman,whohadconfessedthemiseriesofherlife,wassosweetathing,andsomovedthemostdissipatedheart,thatshesilencedallclamour,andeveryoneforgaveherherhappiness。Oneday,duringLent,Imperiamadeherpeoplefast,andorderedthemtogoandconfess,andreturntoGod。Sheherselfwentandfellatthepope\'sfeet,andthereshowedsuchpenitence,thatsheobtainedfromhimremissionofallhersins,believingthattheabsolutionofthepopewouldcommunicatetohersoulthatvirginitywhichshewasgrievedatbeingunabletoofferherlover。Itisimpossibletohelpthinkingthattherewassomevirtueintheecclesiasticalpiscina,forthepoorcadetwassosmotheredwithlovethathefanciedhimselfinParadise,andleftthenegotiationsoftheKingofFrance,lefthisloveforMademoiselledeMontmorency——infact,lefteverythingtomarryMadameImperia,inorderthathemightliveanddiewithher。Suchwastheeffectofthelearnedwaysofthisgreatladyofpleasuredirectlysheturnedhersciencetotherootofavirtuouslove。Imperiabadeadieutoheradmirersataroyalfeast,giveninhonourofherwedding,whichwasawonderfulceremony,atwhichalltheItalianprinceswerepresent。Shehad,itissaid,amilliongoldcrowns;inspiteofthevastnessofthissum,everyonefarfromblamingL\'IleAdam,paidhimmanycompliments,becauseitwasevidentthatneitherMadameImperianorheryounghusbandthoughtofanythingbutone。Thepopeblessedtheirmarriage,andsaidthatitwasafinethingtoseethefoolishvirginreturningtoGodbytheroadofmarriage。

  ButduringthatlastnightinwhichitwouldbepermissibleforalltobeholdtheQueenofBeauty,whowasabouttobecomeasimplechatelaineofthekingdomofFrance,therewereagreatnumberofmenwhomournedforthemerrynights,thesuppers,themaskedballs,thejoyousgames,andthemeltinghours,wheneachoneemptiedhishearttoher。Everyoneregrettedtheeaseandfreedomwhichhadalwaysbeenfoundintheresidenceofthislovelycreature,whonowappearedmoretemptingthanshehadeverdoneinherlife,forthefervidheatofhergreatlovemadeherglistenlikeasummersun。Muchdidtheylamentthefactthatshehadhadthesadfantasytobecomearespectablewoman。TotheseMadamedel\'IleAdamansweredjestingly,thataftertwenty-fouryearspassedintheserviceofthepublic,shehadarighttoretire。Otherssaidtoher,thathoweverdistantthesunwas,peoplecouldwarmthemselvesinit,whileshewouldshowherselfnomore。Tothesesherepliedthatshewouldstillhavesmilestobestowuponthoselordswhowouldcomeandseehowsheplayedtheroleofavirtuouswoman。TothistheEnglishenvoyanswered,hebelievedhercapableofpushingvirtuetoitsextremepoint。Shegaveapresenttoeachofherfriends,andlargesumstothepoorandsufferingofRome;besidesthis,shelefttotheconventwhereherdaughterwastohavebeen,andtothechurchshehadbuilt,thewealthshehadinheritedfromTheodora,whichcamefromthecardinalofRagusa。

  Whenthetwospousessetouttheywereaccompaniedalongwaybyknightsinmourning,andevenbythecommonpeople,whowishedthemeveryhappiness,becauseMadameImperiahadbeenhardontherichonly,andhadalwaysbeenkindandgentlewiththepoor。ThislovelyqueenoflovewashailedwithacclamationsthroughoutthejourneyinallthetownsofItalywherethereportofherconversionhadspread,andwhereeveryonewascurioustoseepass,acasesorareastwosuchspouses。Severalprincesreceivedthishandsomecoupleattheircourts,sayingitwasbutrighttoshowhonourtothiswomanwhohadthecouragetorenounceherempireovertheworldoffashion,tobecomeavirtuouswoman。Buttherewasanevil-mindedfellow,onemylordDukeofFerrara,whosaidtol\'IleAdamthathisgreatfortunehadnotcosthimmuch。AtthisfirstoffenceMadameImperiashowedwhatagoodheartshehad,forshegaveupallthemoneyshehadreceivedfromherlovers,toornamentthedomeofSt。MariadelFiore,inthetownofFlorence,whichturnedthelaughagainsttheSired\'Este,whoboastedthathehadbuiltachurchinspiteoftheemptyconditionofhispurse。Youmaybesurehewasreprimandedforthisjokebyhisbrotherthecardinal。

  ThefairImperiaonlykeptherownwealthandthatwhichtheEmperorhadbestoweduponheroutofpurefriendshipsincehisdeparture,theamountofwhichwashowever,considerable。Thecadetofl\'IleAdamhadaduelwiththeduke,inwhichhewoundedhim。ThusneitherMadamedel\'IleAdam,norherhusbandcouldbeinanywayreproached。Thispieceofchivalrycausedhertobegloriouslyreceivedinallplacesshepassedthrough,especiallyinPiedmont,wherethefetesweresplendid。

  Verseswhichthepoetthencomposed,suchassonnets,epithalamias,andodes,havebeengivenincertaincollections;butallpoetrywasweakincomparisonwithher,whowas,accordingtoanexpressionofMonsieurBoccaccio,poetryherself。

  TheprizeinthistourneyoffetesandgallantrymustbeawardedtothegoodEmperoroftheRomans,who,knowingofthemisbehaviouroftheDukeofFerrara,dispatchedanenvoytohisoldflame,chargedwithLatinmanuscripts,inwhichhetoldherthathelovedhersomuchforherself,thathewasdelightedtoknowthatshewashappy,butgrievedtoknowthatallherhappinesswasnotderivedfromhim;thathehadlosthisrighttomakeherpresents,butthat,ifthekingofFrancereceivedhercoldly,hewouldthinkitanhonourtoacquireaVillierstotheholyempire,andwouldgivehimsuchprincipalitiesashemightchoosefromhisdomains。ThefairImperiarepliedthatshewasextremelyobligedtotheEmperor,butthathadshetosuffercontumelyuponcontumelyinFrance,shestillintendedtheretofinishherdays。

  II

  HOWTHISMARRIAGEENDED

  Notknowingifitshewouldbereceivedornot,theladyofl\'IleAdamwouldnotgotocourt,butlivedinthecountry,whereherhusbandmadeafineestablishment,purchasingthemanorofBeaumont-le-

  Vicomte,whichgaverisetotheequivoqueuponhisname,madebyourwell-belovedRabelais,inhismostmagnificentbook。HeacquiredalsothedomainofNointel,theforestofCarenelle,St。Martin,andotherplacesintheneighbourhoodofthel\'IleAdam,wherehisbrotherVilliersresided。Thesesaidacquisitionsmadehimthemostpowerfullordinthel\'IledeFranceandcountyofParis。HebuiltawonderfulcastlenearBeaumont,whichwasafterwardsruinedbytheEnglish,andadorneditwiththefurniture,foreigntapestries,chests,pictures,statues,andcuriosities,ofhiswife,whowasagreatconnoisseur,whichmadethisplaceequaltothemostmagnificentcastlesknown。

  Thehappypairledalifesoenviedbyall,thatnothingwastalkedaboutinParisandatCourtbutthismarriage,thegoodfortuneoftheSiredeBeaumont,and,aboveall,oftheperfect,loyal,gracious,andreligiouslifeofhiswife,whofromhabitmanystillcalledMadameImperia;whowasnolongerproudandsharpassteel,buthadthevirtuesandqualitiesofarespectablewoman,andwasanexampleinmanythingstoaqueen。ShewasmuchbelovedbytheChurchonaccountofhergreatreligion,forshehadneveronceforgottenGod,having,assheoncesaid,spentmuchofhertimewithchurchmen,abbots,bishops,andcardinals,whohadsprinkledherwellwithholywater,andunderthecurtainsworkedhereternalsalvation。

  Thepraisessunginhonourofthisladyhadsuchaneffect,thatthekingcametoBeauvoisistogazeuponthiswonder,anddidthesirethehonourtosleepatBeaumont,remainedtherethreedays,andhadaroyalhunttherewiththequeenandthewholeCourt。Youmaybesurethathewassurprised,aswerealsothequeen,theladies,andtheCourt,atthemannersofthissuperbcreature,whowasproclaimedaladyofcourtesyandbeauty。Thekingfirst,thenthequeen,andafterwardseveryindividualmemberofthecompany,complementedl\'IleAdamonhavingchosensuchawife。Themodestyofthechatelainedidmorethanpridewouldhaveaccomplished;forshewasinvitedtocourt,andeverywhere,soimperiouswashergreatheart,sotyrannicherviolentloveforherhusband。Youmaybesurethathercharms,hiddenunderthegarmentsofvirtue,werenonethelessexquisite。ThekinggavethevacantpostoflieutenantoftheIledeFranceandprovostofParistohisancientambassador,givinghimthetitleofViscountofBeaumont,whichestablishedhimasgovernorofthewholeprovince,andputhimonanexcellentfootingatcourt。ButthiswasthecauseofagreatwoundinMadame\'sheart,becauseawretch,jealousofthisuncloudedhappiness,askedher,playfully,ifBeaumonthadeverspokentoherofhisfirstlove,MademoiselledeMontmorency,whoatthattimewastwenty-twoyearsofage,asshewassixteenatthetimethemarriagetookplaceinRome——thewhichyoungladylovedl\'IleAdamsomuchthatsheremainedamaiden,wouldlistentonoproposalsofmarriage,andwasdyingofabrokenheart,unabletobanishherperfidiousloverfromherremembranceandwasdesirousofenteringtheconventofChelles。MadameImperia,duringthesixyearsofhermarriage,hadneverheardthisname,andwassurefromthisfactthatshewasindeedbeloved。Youcanimaginethatthistimehadbeenpassedasasingleday,thatbothbelievedthattheyhadonlybeenmarriedtheeveningbefore,andthateachnightwasasaweddingnight,andthatifbusinesstooktheknightoutofdoors,hewasquitemelancholy,beingunwillingevertohaveheroutofhissight,andshewasthesamewithhim。

  Theking,whowasverypartialtotheviscount,alsomadearemarktohimwhichstunghimtothequick,whenhesaid,“Youhavenochildren?”

  TowhichBeaumontreplied,withthefaceofamanwhoserawplaceyouhavetouchedwithyourfinger,“Monsiegneur,mybrotherhas;thusourlineissafe。“

  Nowithappenedthathisbrother\'stwochildrendiedsuddenly——onefromafallfromhishorseatatournamentandtheotherfromillness。

  Monsieurl\'IleAdamtheelderwassostrickenwithgriefatthesetwodeathsthatheexpiredsoonafter,somuchdidhelovehistwosons。

  BythismeansthemanorofBeaumont,thepropertyatCarenelle,St。

  Martin,Nointel,andthesurroundingdomains,werereunitedtothemanorofl\'IleAdam,andtheneighbouringforests,andthecadetbecametheheadofthehouse。AtthistimeMadamewasforty-five,andwasstillfittobearchildren;butalas!sheconceivednot。Assoonasshesawthelineageofl\'IleAdamdestroyed,shewasanxioustoobtainoffspring。

  Now,asduringthesevenyearswhichhadelapsedshehadneveroncehadtheslightesthintofpregnancy,shebelieved,accordingtothestatementofacleverphysicianwhomshesentforfromParis,thatthisbarrennessproceededfromthefact,thatbothsheandherhusband,alwaysmoreloversthanspouses,allowedpleasuretointerferewithbusiness,andbythismeansengenderingwasprevented。

  Thensheendeavouredtorestrainherimpetuosity,andtotakethingscoolly,becausethephysicianhadexplainedtoherthatinastateofnatureanimalsneverfailedtobreed,becausethefemalesemployednoneofthoseartifices,tricks,andhanky-pankieswithwhichwomenaccommodatetheolivesofPoissy,andforthisreasontheythoroughlydeservedthetitleofbeasts。Shepromisedhimnolongertoplaywithsuchaseriousaffair,andtoforgetalltheingeniousdevicesinwhichshehadbeensofertile。But,alas!althoughshekeptasquietasthatGermanwomanwholaysostillthatherhusbandembracedhertodeath,andthenwent,poorbaron,toobtainabsolutionfromthepope,whodeliveredhiscelebratedbrief,inwhichherequestedtheladiesofFranconiatobealittlemorelively,andpreventarepetitionofsuchacrime。Madamedel\'IleAdamdidnotconceive,andfellintoastateofgreatmelancholy。

  Thenshebegantonoticehowthoughtfulhadbecomeherhusband,l\'IleAdam,whomshewatchedwhenhethoughtshewasnotlooking,andwhoweptthathehadnofruitofhisgreatlove。Soonthispairmingledtheirtears,foreverythingwascommontothetwointhisfinehousehold,andastheyneverlefttheother,thethoughtoftheonewasnecessarilythethoughtoftheother。WhenMadamebeheldapoorperson\'schildshenearlydiedofgrief,andittookherawholedaytorecover。Seeingthisgreatsorrow,l\'IleAdamorderedallchildrentobekeptoutofhiswife\'ssight,andsaidsoothingthingstoher,suchasthatchildrenoftenturnedoutbadly;towhichshereplied,thatachildmadebythosewholovedsopassionatelywouldbethefinestchildintheworld。Hetoldherthathersonsmightperish,likethoseofhispoorbrother;towhichshereplied,thatshewouldnotletthemstirfurtherfromherpetticoatsthanahenallowsherchickens。Infact,shehadananswerforeverything。

  Madamecausedawomantobesentforwhodealtinmagic,andwhowassupposedtobelearnedinthesemysteries,whotoldherthatshehadoftenseenwomenunabletoconceiveinspiteofeveryeffort,butyettheyhadsucceededbystudyingthemannersandcustomsofanimals。

  Madametookthebeastsofthefieldsforherpreceptors,butshedidnotincreaseinsize;herfleshstillremainedfirmandwhiteasmarble。ShereturnedtothephysicalscienceofthemasterdoctorsofParis,andsentforacelebratedArabianphysician,whohadjustarrivedinFrancewithanewscience。Thenthissavant,broughtupintheschoolofoneSieurAverroes,enteredintocertainmedicaldetails,anddeclaredthatthelooselifeshehadformerlyledhadforeverruinedherchanceofobtainingoffspring。Thephysicalreasonswhichheassignedweresocontrarytotheteachingoftheholybookswhichestablishthemajestyofman,madeintheimageofhiscreator,andsocontrarytothesystemupheldbysoundsenseandgooddoctrine,thatthedoctorsofParislaughedthemtoscorn。TheArabianphysicianlefttheschoolwherehismaster,theSieurAverroes,wasunknown。

  ThedoctorstoldMadame,whohadcometoParis,thatshewastokeeponasusual,sinceshehadhadduringhergaylifethelovelyTheodora,bythecardinalofRagusa,andthattherightofhavingchildrenremainedwithwomenaslongastheirbloodcirculated,andallthatshehadtodowastomultiplythechancesofconception。Thisadviceappearedtohersogoodthatshemultipliedhervictories,butitwasonlymultiplyingherdefeats,sincesheobtainedtheflowersoflovewithoutitsfruits。

  Thepoorafflictedwomanwrotethentothepope,wholovedhermuch,andtoldhimofhersorrows。Thegoodpoperepliedtoherwithagracioushomily,writtenwithhisownhand,inwhichhetoldherthatwhenhumanscienceandthingsterrestrialhadfailed,weshouldturntoHeavenandimplorethegraceofGod。Thenshedeterminedtogowithnakedfeet,accompaniedbyherhusband,toNotreDamedeLiesse,celebratedforherinterventioninsimilarcases,andmadeavowtobuildamagnificentcathedralingratitudeforthechild。Butshebruisedandinjuredherprettyfeet,andconceivednothingbutaviolentgrief,whichwassogreatthatsomeofherlovelytressesfelloffandsometurnedwhite。

  Atlastthefacultyofmakingchildrenwastakenfromher,whichbroughtonthevapoursconsequentuponhypochondria,andcausedherskintoturnyellow。Shewasthenforty-nineyearsofage,andlivedinhercastleofl\'IleAdam,whereshegrewasthinasaleperinalazar-house。Thepoorcreaturewasallthemorewretchedbecausel\'IleAdamwasstillamorous,andasgoodasgoldtoher,whofailedinherduty,becauseshehadformerlybeentoofreewiththemen,andwasnow,accordingtoherowndisdainfulremark,onlyacauldrontocookchitterlings。

  “Ha!”saidshe,oneeveningwhenthesethoughtsweretormentingher。

  “InspiteoftheChurch,inspiteoftheking,inspiteofeverything,Madamedel\'IleAdamisstillthewickedImperia!”

  Shefellintoaviolentpassionwhenshesawthishandsomegentlemanhaveeverythingamancandesire,greatwealth,royalfavour,unequalledlove,matchlesswife,pleasuresuchasnoneothercouldproduce,andyetfailinthatwhichisdearesttotheheadofthehouse——namely,lineage。Withthisideainherhead,shewishedtodie,thinkinghowgoodandnoblehehadbeentoher,andhowmuchshefailedinherdutyinnotgivinghimchildren,andinbeinghenceforwardunabletodoso。Shehidhersorrowinthesecretrecessesofherheart,andconceivedadevotionworthyhergreatlove。

  Toputintopracticethisheroicdesignshebecamestillmoreamorous,tookextremecareofhercharms,andmadeuseoflearnedpreceptstomaintainherbodilyperfection,whichthrewoutanincrediblelustre。

  AboutthistimetheSieurdeMontmorencyconqueredtherepulsionhisdaughterentertainedformarriage,andheralliancewithoneSieurdeChatillonwasmuchtalkedabout。MadameImperia,wholivedonlythreeleaguesdistantfromMontmorency,onedaysentherhusbandouthuntingintheforests,andsetouttowardsthecastlewheretheyoungladylived。Arrivedinthegroundsshewalkedaboutthere,tellingaservanttoinformhermistressthataladyhadamostimportantcommunicationtomaketoher,andthatshehadcometorequestanaudience。Muchinterestedbytheaccountwhichshereceivedbythebeauty,courtesy,andmannersoftheunknownlady,MademoiselledeMontmorencywentingreathasteintothegardens,andtheremetherrival,whomshedidnotknow。

  “Mydear,“saidthepoorwoman,weepingtofindtheyoungmaidenasbeautifulasherself,“IknowthattheyaretryingtoforceyouintoamarriagewithMonsieurdeChatillon,althoughyoustillloveMonsieurdel\'IleAdam。HaveconfidenceintheprophecythatIheremakeyou,thathewhomyouhaveloved,andwhoonlywasfalsetoyouthroughasnareintowhichanangelmighthavefallen,willbefreefromtheburdenofhisoldwifebeforetheleavesfall。Thustheconstancyofyourlovewillhaveitscrownofflowers。Nowhavethecouragetorefusethismarriagetheyarearrangingforyou,andyoumayyetclaspyourfirstandonlylove。Pledgemeyourwordtoloveandcherishl\'IleAdam,whoisthekindestofmen;nevertocausehimamoment\'sanguish,andtellhimtorevealtoyouallthesecretsofloveinventedbyMadameImperia,because,inpracticingthem,beingyoung,youwillbeeasilyabletoobliteratetheremembranceofherfromhismind。“

  MademoiselledeMontmorencywassoastonishedthatshecouldmakenoanswer,andletthisqueenofbeautydepart,andbelievedhertobeafairy,untilaworkmantoldherthatthefairywasMadamedel\'IleAdam。Althoughtheadventurewasinexplicable,shetoldherfatherthatshewouldnotgiveherconsenttotheproposedmarriageuntilaftertheautumn,somuchisitinthenatureofLovetoallyitselfwithHope,inspiteofthebitterpillswhichthisdeceitfulandgracious,companiongiveshertoswallowlikebull\'seyes。Duringthemonthswhenthegrapesaregathered,Imperiawouldnotletl\'IleAdamleaveher,andwassoamorousthatonewouldhaveimaginedshewishedtokillhim,sincel\'IleAdamfeltasthoughhehadafreshbrideinhisarmseverynight。Thenextmorningthegoodwomanrequestedhimtokeeptheremembranceofthesejoysinhisheart。

  Then,toknowwhatherlover\'srealthoughtsonthesubjectwereshesaidtohim,“Poorl\'IleAdam,wewereverysillytomarry——aladlikeyou,withyourtwenty-threeyears,andanoldwomancloseto40。“

  Heansweredher,thathishappinesswassuchthathewastheenvyofeveryone,thatatherageherequaldidnotexistamongtheyoungerwomen,andthatifevershegrewoldhewouldloveherwrinkles,believingthateveninthetombshewouldbelovely,andherskeletonlovable。

  Totheseanswers,whichbroughtthetearsintohereyes,sheonemorningansweredmaliciously,thatMademoiselledeMontmorencywasverylovelyandveryfaithful。Thisspeechforcedl\'IleAdamtotellherthatshepainedhimbytellinghimoftheonlywronghehadevercommittedinhislife——thebreakingofthetrothpledgedtohisfirstsweetheart,allloveforwhomhehadsinceeffacedfromhisheart。

  Thiscandidspeechmadeherseizehimandclasphimtoherheart,affectedattheloyaltyofhisdiscourseonasubjectfromwhichmanywouldhaveshrunk。

  “Mydearlove,“saidshe,“foralongtimepastIhavebeensufferingfromaretractionoftheheart,whichhasalwayssincemyyouthbeendangeroustomylife,andinthisopiniontheArabianphysiciancoincides。IfIdie,Iwishyoutomakethemostbindingoathaknightcanmake,towedMademoiselleMontmorency。Iamsocertainofdying,thatIleavemypropertytoyouonlyonconditionthatthismarriagetakesplace。“

  Hearingthis,l\'IleAdamturnedpale,andfeltfaintatthemerethoughtofaneternalseparationfromhisgoodwife。

  “Yes,deartreasureoflove,“continuedshe。“IampunishedbyGodtherewheremysinswerecommitted,forthegreatjoysthatIfeeldilatemyheart,andhave,accordingtotheArabiandoctor,weakenedthevesselswhichinamomentofexcitementwillburst;butIhavealwaysimploredGodtotakemylifeattheageinwhichInowam,becauseIwouldnotseemycharmsmarredbytheravagesoftime。“

  Thisgreatandnoblewomansawthenhowwellshewasbeloved。Thisishowsheobtainedthegreatestsacrificeoflovethateverwasmadeuponthisearth。Shealoneknewwhatacharmexistedintheembraces,fondlings,andrapturesoftheconjugalbed,whichweresuchthatpoorl\'IleAdamwouldratherhavediedthanallowhimselftobedeprivedoftheamorousdelicaciessheknewsowellhowtoprepare。Atthisconfessionmadebyherthat,intheexcitementofloveherheartwouldburst,thechevaliercasthimselfatherknees,anddeclaredthattopreserveherlifehewouldneveraskherforlove,butwouldlivecontentedtoseeheronlyathisside,happyatbeingabletotouchbutthehemofhergarment。

  Shereplied,burstingintotears,“thatshewouldratherdiethanloseoneiotaofhislove;thatshewoulddieasshehadlived,sinceluckilyshecouldmakeamanembraceherwhensuchwasherdesirewithouthavingtoputherrequestintowords。“

  HereitmustbestatedthatthecardinalofRagusahadgivenherasapresentanarticle,whichthisholyjokercalled/inarticulomortis/。

  Itwasatinyglassbottle,nobiggerthanabean,madeatVenice,andcontainingapoisonsosubtlethatbybreakingitbetweentheteethdeathcameinstantlyandpainlessly。HehadreceiveditfromSignoraTophana,thecelebratedmakerofpoisonsofthetownofRome。

  Nowthistinybottlewasunderthebezelofaring,preservedfromallobjectsthatcouldbreakitbycertainplatesofgold。PoorImperiaputitintohermouthseveraltimeswithoutbeingabletomakeuphermindtobiteit,somuchpleasuredidshetakeinthemomentthatshebelievedtobeherlast。Thenshewouldpassbeforeherinmentalreviewallhermethodsofenjoymentbeforebreakingtheglass,anddeterminedthatwhenshefeltthemostperfectofalljoysshewouldbitethebottle。

  ThepoorcreaturedepartedthislifeonthenightonthefirstdayofOctober。Thenwasthereheardagreatclamourintheforestsandintheclouds,asiftheloveshadcriedaloud,“ThegreatNocisdead!”

  inimitationofthepagangodswho,atthecomingoftheSaviourofmen,fledintotheskies,saying,“thegreatPanisslain!”AcrywhichwasheardbysomepersonsnavigatingtheEubeanSea,andpreservedbyaFatheroftheChurch。

  MadameImperiadiedwithoutbeingspoiledinshape,somuchhadGodmadehertheirreproachablemodelofawoman。Shehad,itwassaid,amagnificenttintuponherflesh,causedbytheproximityoftheflamingwingsofPleasure,whocriedandgroanedoverhercorpse。Herhusbandmournedforhermostbitterly,neversuspectingthatshehaddiedtodeliverhimfromachildlesswife,forthedoctorwhoembalmedhersaidnotawordconcerningthecauseofherdeath。Thisgreatsacrificewasdiscoveredsixyearsaftermarriageofl\'IleAdamwithMademoiselledeMontmorency,becauseshetoldhimallaboutthevisitofMadameImperia。Thepoorgentlemanimmediatelyfellintoastateofgreatmelancholyandfinishedbydying,beingunabletobanishtheremembranceofthosejoysoflovewhichitwasbeyondthepowerofanovicetorestoretohim;therebydidheprovethetruthofthatwhichwassaidatthattime,thatthiswomanwouldneverdieinaheartwhereshehadoncereigned。

  Thisteachesusthatvirtueiswellunderstoodbythosewhohavepractisedvice;foramongthemostmodestwomenfewwouldthushavesacrificedlife,inwhateverhighstateofreligionyoulookforthem。

  EPILOGUE

  Oh!madlittleone,thouwhosebusinessitistomakethehousemerry,againhastthoubeenwallowing,inspiteofathousandprohibitions,inthatsloughofmelancholy,whencethouhastalreadyfishedoutBertha,andcomebackwiththytressesdishevelled,likeagirlwhohasbeenill-treatedbyaregimentofsoldiers!Wherearethygoldenaigletsandbells,thyfiligreeflowersoffantasticdesign?Wherehastthouleftthycrimsonhead-dress,ornamentedwithpreciousgewgawsthatcostaminotofpearls?

  Whyspoilwithpernicioustearsthyblackeyes,sopleasantwhenthereinsparklesthewitofatale,thatpopespardontheethysayingsforthesakeofthymerrylaughter,feeltheirsoulscaughtbetweentheivoryofthyteeth,havetheirheartsdrawnbytherosepointofthysweettongue,andwouldbartertheholyslipperforahundredofthesmilesthathoverroundthyvermillionlips?Laughinglassie,ifthouwouldstremainalwaysfreshandyoung,weepnomore;thinkofridingthebridelessfleas,ofbridlingwiththegoldencloudsthychameleonchimeras,ofmetamorphosingtherealitiesoflifeintofiguresclothedwiththerainbow,caparisonedwithroseatedreams,andmantledwithwingsblueastheeyesofthepartridge。BytheBodyandtheBlood,bytheCenserandtheSeal,bytheBookandtheSword,bytheRagandtheGold,bytheSoundandtheColour,ifthoudoesbutreturnonceintothathovelofelegieswhereeunuchsfinduglywomenforimbecilesultans,I\'llcursethee;I\'llraveatthee;I\'llmaketheefastfromrogueryandlove;I\'ll——

  Phist!Heresheisastrideasunbeamwithavolumethatisreadytoburstwithmerrymeteors!Sheplaysintheirprisms,tearingaboutsomadly,sowildly,soboldly,socontrarytogoodsense,socontrarytogoodmanners,socontrarytoeverything,thatonehastotouchherwithlongfeathers,tofollowhersiren\'stailinthegoldenfacetswhichtrifleamongtheartificesofthesenewpearlsoflaughter。Yegods!butsheissportingherselfinthemlikeahundredschoolboysinahedgefullofblackberries,aftervespers。Tothedevilwiththemagister!Thevolumeisfinished!Outuponwork!Whatho!myjovialfriends;thisway!

  End

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