CHAPTERLXXVIII。
RESTORATION。
Thesameafternoon，whileDonalwasreadingtoArcturainthelibrary，therecamealoudringingofthedoor-bell。Donalrantosee，andtohisgreatdelight，therewasmistressBrookes，halfwildwithanxiousterror。
“Ismyleddysafe？”shecried——thenclaspedDonalinherarmsandembracedhimasifhehadbeenherson。
>Fromthemomentshediscoveredherselffooled，shehadbeenimaginingallmannerofterriblethings——yetnonesoterribleasthetruth。Therewasnoendtoherobjurgations，exclamations，anathemas，andinterjections。
“NowIcanleaveyouinpeace，mylady！”saidDonal，whohadnotresumedhisseat。
“Nooyecanbidewhauryeare，an\'bethankfu\'！”saidmistressBrookes。“Whadaurmeddlewi\'ye，an\'mei\'thehoose！An\'whakenswhatthemadyerl，formadIs\'uphaudhim，an\'fitonlytobelockitup——whakenswhathemaydoneist！MaisterGrant，Icannotlatyeooto\'thehoose。“
“IwasonlygoingasfarasmistressComin\'s，“repliedDonal。
“Weel，yecangang；butmin\'ye\'rehamei\'gudetime！”
“Ithoughtofputtingupthere，butIwilldoasmyladypleases。“
“Comehome，“saidArctura。
Donalwent，andthefirstpersonhesawwhenheenteredthehousewasEppy。Sheturnedinstantlyaway，andlefttheroom：hecouldnothelpseeingwhy。
Theoldwomanwelcomedhimwithherusualcordiality，butnotherusualcheerfulness：hehadscarcelynotedsinceherhusband\'sdeathanychangeonhermannertillnow：shelookedwearyoftheworld。
Shesatdown，smoothedheraprononherknees，gavehimoneglanceintheface，thenlookeddownatherhands，andsaidnothing。
“Ikenwhatailsye，Doory，“saidDonal；“buti\'thenameo\'him\'at\'sawa\'，hearkentilme——Thelassisnolost，naitheristheLordasleep。Yerlamb\'sbeensairmisguidit，sairpluckito\'herbonnywoo\'，butgienforthatshehaudthecloserbytheLord\'sflock，she\'llkenitwasnaforwanto\'hiscarethetodgotagrupo\'her。It\'saterriblepityforthebonnycratur，disgracin\'them\'atauchther！Whatforwinnayoongfowkbelievethem\'atspeykstrue，butwullbelievethem\'attellsthemlittlebutlees！Still，it\'snoasgienshehadbeenstealin\'！She\'swrangtherpuirsel\'，an\'she\'swrangtusa\'，an\'she\'swrangttheLord；butfora\'thatyecannaluikdoonuponherasupo\'theman\'at\'sgrownrichatthecosto\'hisneebours。There\'smonyagran\'proodleddy\'illhaetostan\'asidetolatEppypassup，whanwe\'re\'aforetherichteousjudge。“
“Eh，butyespeyklikemyAnerew！”criedthepoorwoman，wipingheroldeyeswithherroughapron。“Is\'dowhatIcanforher；butthere\'snohidin\'o\'\'t！”
“Hidin\'o\'\'t！”criedDonal。“TheLordforbid！Sicthingsarenotobehidden！Saelang\'sshe\'si\'thewarl\'，thethinghastobekennedo\'a\'\'atcomenighher。Shemaunbeirherburden，puirlass！
TheLordhe\'lllichten\'ttilher，buthe\'llhaenaethingsmuggletup。That\'snothew\'yo\'hiskingdom！——Isupposethere\'snaedoobtwha？”
“Nane。TheLordforbid！”
Twodaysafter，Mr。Graemeandhissisterreturned，andatladyArctura\'srequesttookuptheirabodeatthecastle。Shetoldthemthatoflateshehadbecomeconvincedherunclewasnolongercapableofattendingtoheraffairs；thathewasgonetoLondon；
thatshehadgoneawaywithhim，andwassupposedtobewithhimstill，thoughshehadreturned，andhedidnotknowwhereshewas。
Shedidnotwishhimtoknow，butdesiredforthepresenttoremainconcealed。Shehadherreasons；andrequestedthereforeasapersonalfavourthattheywouldnotonceortoanyonealludetoherbeingatthecastle。Mr。Graemewouldinthemeantimebesogoodasmakehimselfacquainted，sofaraspossible，withthestateofaffairsbetweenherandheruncle。
Inthecourseoftheinvestigationsthereuponfollowing，itbecameclearthatalargeportionofthemoneysoftheestatereceivedbyhislordshipwerenowiseaccountedfor。LadyArcturadirectedthatfurtherinquiryshouldinthemeantimebestayed，butthatnomoremoneyshouldbehandedovertohim。
Forsometimethefactorheardnothingfromhislordship。Atlengthcameinstructionsastotheforwardingofmoney，Forguewritingandhisfathersigning。Mr。Graemereplied，excusinghimselfashecould，butsendingnomoney。Theywroteagain。Againheexcusedhimself。Theearlthreatened。Mr。Graemetooknoheed。Hislordshipcontinuedtodemandandthreaten，butneitherhenorhissonappeared。ThefactoratlengthwrotethathewouldpaynomoneybuttoladyArctura。Theearlhimselfwroteinreply，saying——hadhebeenoutofthecountrythathedidnotknowshewasdeadandsixweeksinhergrave？Againthefactordidnotreply。
DonalrodebacktoGlashgar，andbroughtDaviehome。Lessonswereresumed，andArcturatookherfullshareinthem。
Soonallaboutthecastlewasbustleandlabour——masonsandcarpentersbusyfrommorningtonight。Thewallthatmaskedthewindowsofthechapelwaspulleddown；thewindows，ofstainedglass，withneveracrack，werecleaned；thepassageunderthemwasopenedtothegreatstair；ladyArcturahadasmallsweet-tonedorganbuiltinthelittlegallery，andthemuralstairfromherownroomopenedagain，thatshemightgodownwhenshepleasedtoplayonit——sometimes，insouth-easterlywinds，tolistentotheaeolianharpdreamingoutthemusicofthespheres。
Intheprocessofremovingthebed，muchofitcrumbledtodust。Thecarvedtesterandbackweresetup，theoneoverthegreatchimney-pieceinthehall，theotheroverthatinArctura\'sroom。
Thealtarwasreplacedwherethebedhadbeen。ThestoryofthefindingofthelostchapelwaswrittenbyDonal，andplacedbyArcturaamongtherecordsofthefamily。
ButitsoonbecameevidentthatwhatshehadpassedthroughhadexercisedahurtfulinfluenceonladyArctura\'shealth。Shewasalmostalwayshappy，butherstrengthattimeswouldsuddenlydeserther。BothDonalandmistressBrookesregardedherwithsomeanxiety。
Herorgan，towhichshegavemorelabourthanshewasquiteequalto，wasnowoneofhermaindelights。Oftenwoulditschordsbeheardcreepingthroughthelongductsandpassagesofthecastle：
eitherforasmallinstrumentitstonewaspeculiarlypenetrating，orthechapelwasthecentreofthesystemofthehouse。OntheroofwouldDonaloftensitlisteningtothesoundsthatrosethroughtheshaft——airsandharmoniesfreedbyherworshippingfingers——rejoicingtothinkhowherspiritwasfollowingthesounds，guidedbytheminlovelysearchafterhernativecountry。
Onedayshewentonplayingtillsheforgoteverythingbuthermusic，andalmostunconsciouslybegantosing“TheLordismindfulofhisown。“Shewasunawarethatshehadtwolisteners——oneontheroofabove，oneinthechapelbelow。
Whentwelvemonthswerecomeandgonesincehisdeparture，theearlonebrightmorningapproachedthedoorofthecastle，halfdoubting，halfbelievingithisown：hewasdeterminedondismissingthefactorafterrigorousexaminationofhisaccounts；andhewantedtoseeDavie。Hehaddriventothestables，andthencewalkedoutontheuppermostterrace，passingthechapelwithoutobservingitsunmaskedwindows。Thegreatdoorwasstandingopen：hewentin，andupthestair，hauntedbysoundsofmusichehadbeenhearingeversincehesteppedontheterrace。
Butonthestairwasadoorhehadneverseen！Whodaredmakechangesinhishouse？Thethingwasbewildering！Buthewasaccustomedtobebewildered。
Heopenedthedoor——plainlyanewone——andenteredagloomylittlepassage，lightedfromasmallapertureunfittobecalledawindow。
Theundersideofthebarestepsofanarrowstonestairwereabovehishead。Hadheorhadhenoteverseentheplacebefore？Ontherightwasadoor。Hewenttoit，openedit，andthehithertomuffledmusicburstloudonhisear。Hestartedbackindismalapprehension：——therewasthechapel，wideopentotheeyeofday！——clearandclean！——gonethehideousbed！gonethedampandthedust！whilethefreshairtrembledwiththeorgan-breathrushingandripplingthroughit，andsettingitinsweetestturmoil！Hehadneverhadsuchapeculiarexperience！Hehadoftendoubtedwhetherthingswereorwerenotprojectionsfromhisownbrain；hemovedandactedinaworldofsubduedfactandenhancedfiction；heknewthatsometimeshecouldnottelltheonefromtheother；butneverhadhehadtheapparentlyrealandtheactuallyunrealbroughtsomuchfacetofacewitheachother！Everythingwasascleartohiseyesasintheirprimeofvision，andyettherecouldbenorealityinwhathesaw！
Eversinceheleftthecastlehehadbeengreatlyuncertainwhetherthethingsthatseemedtohavetakenplacethere，hadreallytakenplace。Hegothimselfindoubtaboutthemthemomenthefailedtofindthekeyoftheoakdoor。Whenheaskedhimselfwhatthencouldhavebecomeofhisniece，hewouldreplythatdoubtlessshewasallright：shedidnotwanttomarryForgue，andhadslippedoutoftheway：shehadnevercaredabouttheproperty！Tohavetheirownwillwasallwomencaredabout！Wouldhisfactorotherwisehavedaredsuchlibertieswithhim，thelady\'sguardian？Hehadnotyetrenderedhisaccounts，oryieldedhisstewardship。Whenshediedthepropertywouldbehis！ifshewasdead，itwashis！Shewouldneverhavedreamedofwillingitawayfromhim！Shedidnotknowshecould：howshouldshe？girlsneverthoughtaboutsuchthings！
Besidesshewouldnothavetheheart：hehadlovedherashisownfleshandblood！
Atintervals，nevertheless，hewasassailed，attimesoverwhelmed，bythepartialconvictionthathehadstarvedhertodeathinthechapel。Thenhewastormentedaswithallthefuriesofhell。Inhisnightvisionshewouldseeherliewasting，hearhermoaning，andcryinginvainforhelp：thehardestheartisyetatthemercyofarousedimagination。Hesawherbodyinitsprogressivestagesofdecayastheweekspassed，andlongedfortheprocesstobeover，thathemightgoback，andpretendingtohavejustfoundthelostroom，carryitaway，andhaveithonourablyburied！Shouldhetakeitforgrantedthatithadlainthereforcenturies，orsuggestitmustbeladyArctura——thatshehadgotshutupthere，likethebrideinthechest？Ifhecouldbutfindanoldspringlocktoputonthedoor！Butpeopleweresoplaguysharpnowadays！Theyfoundouteverything！——hecouldnotaffordtohaveeverythingfoundout！——Godhimselfmustnotbeallowedtoknoweverything！
Hestoodstaring。Ashestoodandstared，hismindbegantochange：
perhaps，afterall，whathesaw，mightbe！Thewholethingithaddisplacedmustthenbeafancy——acreationofthedreamingbrain！
Godinheaven！ifitcouldbutbeproventhathehadneverdoneit！
Alltheotherwickedthingshewas——orsupposedhimselfguiltyof——someofthemsoheavythatithadneverseemedofthesmallestusetorepentofthem——alltherestmightbeforgivenhim！——Butwhatdifferencewouldthatmaketothefactthathehaddonethem？Hecouldnevertakehisplaceasagentlemanwhereallwasknown！Theymadesuchafussaboutasinortwo，thatamanwentanddidworseoutofpuredespair！
Butifhehadnevermurderedanybody！InthatcasehecouldalmostconsentthereshouldbeaGod！hecouldalmosteventhankhim！——Forwhat！Thathewasnottobedamnedforthethinghehadnotdone——athinghehadhadthemisfortunetodreamhehaddone——Godneverinterferingtoprotecthimfromthehorriblefancy？WhatwasthegoodofaGodthatwouldnotdothatmuchforyou——thatlefthiscreaturestomakefoolsofthemselves，andonlylaughedatthem！——Bah！Therewaslifeintheolddogyet！Ifonlyheknewthethingforafancy！
Themusicceased，andthesilencewasashocktohim。Againhebegantostareabouthim。Helookedup。Beforehimintheairhoveredthepalefaceofthegirlhehad——orhadnotmurdered！Itwasoneofhisvisions——butnotthereforemoreunrealthananyotherappearance：
shecamefromtheworldofhisimagination——sorealtohimthatinexpectantmoodsitwastheworldintowhichhewastostepthemomentheleftthebody。Shelookedsweetlyathim！Shewascometoforgivehissins！Wasitthentrue？Wastherenosinofmurderonhissoul？Wasshetheretoassurehimthathemightyethopefortheworldtocome？Hestretchedouthisarmstoher。Sheturnedaway。Hethoughtshehadvanished。Thenextmomentshewasinthechapel，buthedidnothearher，andstoodgazingup。Shethrewherarmsaroundhim。Thecontactofthematerialstartledhimwithsucharevulsion，thatheutteredacry，staggeredback，andstoodlookingatherinworseperplexitystill。Hehaddonetheawfulthing，yethadnotdoneit！Hestoodasoneboundtoknowthethingthatcouldnotbe。
“Don\'tbefrightened，uncle，“saidArctura。“Iamnotdead。Thesepulchreistheonlyresurrection-house！Uncle，uncle！thankGodwithme。“
Theearlstoodmotionless。Strangethoughtspassedthroughhimattheirwill。Hadherpresencedispelleddarknessanddeath，andrestoredthelostchapeltothelightofday？Hadshehauntediteversince，deadyetalive，watchingforhisreturntopardonhim？
Wouldhiswifesoreceivehimatthelastwithforgivenessandendearment？Hiseyeswerefixeduponher。Hislipsmovedtremulouslyonceortwice，butnowordcame。Heturnedfromher，glancedroundtheplace，andsaid，“Itisagreatimprovement！”
Iwonderhowitwouldbewithsoulsiftheywakedupandfoundalltheirsinsbuthideousdreams！Howmanywouldloathethesin？Howmanywouldremaincapableofdoingallagain？Butfew，perhapsnoburdenedsoulscanhaveanyideaofthepowerthatliesinGod\'sforgivenesstorelievetheirconsciousnessofdefilement。Thosewhosay，“EvenGodcannotdestroythefact！”caremoreabouttheirowncursedshamethantheirFather\'sblessedtruth！Suchwillratherexcusethanconfess。Whenamanheartilyconfesses，leavingexcusetoGod，thetruthmakeshimfree，heknowsthattheevilhasgonefromhim，asamanknowsthatheiscuredofhisplague。
“Ididthething，“hesays，“butIcouldnotdoitnow。Iamthesame，yetnotthesame。Iconfess，Iwouldnothideit，butIloatheit——tentimesthemorethattheevilthingwasmine。“
Hadtheearlbeenabletosaythus，hewouldhavefelthissoulacleansedchapel，new-openedtothelightandair；——nay，better——afresh-wateredgarden，inwhichthefruitsofthespirithadbeguntogrow！God\'sforgivenessisastheburstofaspringmorningintotheheartofwinter。Hisautumnisthepayingoftheuttermostfarthing。
Toletusgowithoutthatwouldbethepardonofademon，nottheforgivenessoftheeternallylovingGod。But——Notyet，alas，notyet！hastobesaidoversomanysouls！
Arcturawasstruckdumb。Sheturnedandwalkedoutuponthegreatstair，herunclefollowingher。Allthewayuptothesecondfloorshefeltasifhewereabouttostabherintheback，butshewouldnotlookbehindher。Shewentstraighttoherroom，andheardherunclegoontohis。Sherangherbell，sentforDonal，andtoldhimwhathadpassed。
“Iwillgotohim，“saidDonal。
Arcturasaidnothingmore，thusleavingthematterentirelyinhishands。
Donalfoundhimlyingonthecouch。
“Mylord，“hesaid，“youmustbeawareofthereasonswhyyoushouldnotpresentyourselfhere！”
Theearlstartedupinoneofhisreadyrages：——theywererealenough！Withepithetsofcontemptuoushatred，heorderedDonalfromtheroomandthehouse。Donalanswerednothingtilltherushofhiswrathhadabated。
“Mylord，“hesaid，“thereisnothingIwouldnotdotoserveyourlordship。ButIhavenochoicebuttellyouthatifyoudonotwalkout，youshallbeexpelled！”
“Expelled，youdog！”
“Expelled，mylord。Thewould-bemurdererofhishostessmustatleastbeputoutofthehouse。“
“Goodheavens！”criedtheearl，changinghistonewithanattemptedlaugh，“hasthepoor，hystericalgirlsucceededinpersuadingamanofyoursensetobelieveherchildishfancies？”
“Ibelieveeverywordmyladysays，mylord。Iknowthatyouhadnearlymurderedher。“
Theearlcaughtupthepokerandstruckathishead。Donalavoidedtheblow。Itfellonthemarblechimney-piece。Whilehisarmwasyetjarredbytheimpact，Donalwrenchedthepokerfromhim。
“Mylord，“hesaid，“withmyownhandsIdrewthestapleofthechainthatfastenedhertothebedonwhichyoulefthertodie！YouwereyetinthehousewhenIdidso。“
“Youdamnedrascal，youstolethekey。IfithadnotbeenforthatI
shouldhavegonetoheragain。Ionlywantedtobringhertoreason！”
“Butasyouhadlostthekey，ratherthanexposeyourcruelty，youwentaway，andlefthertoperish！Youwantedhertodieunlessyoucouldcompelhertomarryyourson，thatthetitleandpropertymightgotogether；andthatwhenwithmyownearsIheardyourlordshiptellthatsonthathehadnorighttoanytitle！”
“Whatamanmaysayinaragegoesfornothing，“answeredtheearl，sulkilyratherthanfiercely。
“Butnotwhatawomanwritesinsorrow！”rejoinedDonal。“Iknowthetruthfromthetestimonyofheryoucalledyourwife，aswellasfromyourownmouth！”
“Thetestimonyofthedead，andatsecondhand，willhardlybereceivedincourt！”returnedtheearl。
“Ifafteryourlordship\'sdeath，themannowcalledlordForguedaresassumethetitleofMorven，IwillpublishwhatIknow。Inviewofthat，yourlordshiphadbetterfurnishhimwiththevouchersofhismother\'smarriage。Mylord，Iagainbegyoutoleavethehouse。“
Theearlcasthiseyesroundthewallsasiflookingforaweapon。
Donaltookhimbythearm。
“Thereisnofartherroomforceremony，“hesaid。“Iamsorrytoberoughwithyourlordship，butyoucompelme。PleaserememberIamtheyoungerandthestrongerman。“
Ashespokehelettheearlfeeltheploughman\'sgrasp：itwasuselesstostruggle。Hislordshipthrewhimselfonthecouch。
“Iwillnotleavethehouse。Iamcomehometodie，“heyelled。“I\'mdyingnow，Itellyou。Icannotleavethehouse！Ihavenomoney。
Forguehastakenall。“
“Youowealargesumtotheestate！”saidDonal。
“Itislost——alllost，Itellyou！Ihavenowheretogoto！Iamdying！”
HelookedsoutterlywretchedthatDonal\'sheartsmotehim。Hestoodbackalittle，andgavehimselftime。
“Youwouldwishthentoretire，mylord，Ipresume？”hesaid。
“Immediately——toberidofyou！”theearlanswered。
“Ifear，mylord，ifyoustay，youwillnotsoonberidofme！HaveyoubroughtSimmonswithyou？”
“No，damnhim！heislikealltherestofyou：hehasleftme！”
“Iwillhelpyoutobed，mylord。“
“Goaboutyourbusiness。Iwillgetmyselftobed。“
“Iwillnotleaveyouexceptinbed，“rejoinedDonalwithdecision；
andringingthebell，hedesiredtheservanttoaskmistressBrookestocometohim。
Shecameinstantly。Beforetheearlhadtimeeventolookather，Donalaskedhertogethislordship\'sbedready：——ifshewouldnotminddoingitherself，hesaid，hewouldhelpher：hemustseehislordshiptobed。
Shelookedawholebookathim，butsaidnothing。Donalreturnedhergazewithoneofquietconfidence，andsheunderstoodit。Whatitsaidwas，“IknowwhatIamdoing，mistressBrookes。Myladymustnotturnhimout。Iwilltakecareofhim。“
“Whatareyoutwowhisperingatthere？”criedtheearl。“HereamI
atthepointofdeath，andyouwillnotevenletmegotobed！”
“Yourroomwillbereadyinafewminutes，mylord，“saidMrs。
Brookes；andsheandDonalwenttoworkinearnest，butwiththedooropenbetweentherooms。
Whenitwasready，“Now，mylord，“saidDonal，“willyoucome？”
“Whenyouaregone。Iwillhavenoneofyourcursedhelp！”
“Mylord，Iamnotgoingtoleaveyou。“
Withmuchgrumbling，andaveryillgrace，hislordshipsubmitted，andDonalgothimtobed。
“Nowputthatcabinetbymeonthetable，“hesaid。
Thecabinetwasthatinwhichhekepthisdrugs，andhadnotbeentouchedsinceheleftit。
Donalopenedthewindow，tookupthecabinet，andthrewitout。
Withabellowlikethatofabull，theearlsprangoutofbed，andjustasthecrashcamefrombelow，ranatDonalwherehestoodshuttingthewindow，asifhewouldhavesenthimafterthecabinet。
Donalcaughthimandheldhimfast。
“Mylord，“hesaid，“Iwillnurseyou，serveyou，doanything，everythingforyou；butforthedevilI\'llbedamnedifImovehandorfoot！NotonedropofhellishstuffshallpassyourlipswhileI
amwithyou！”
“ButIamdying！Ishalldieofthehorrors！”shriekedtheearl，strugglingtogettothewindow，asifhemightyetdosomethingtosavehispreciousextracts，tinctures，essences，andcompounds。
“Wewillsendforthedoctor，“saidDonal。“Averycleveryoungfellowhascometothetownsinceyouleft：perhapshecanhelpyou。
IwilldowhatIcantomakeyougiveyourlifefairplay。“
“Come，come！noneofthatdamnedrubbish！Mylifeisofnoendofvaluetome！Besides，it\'stoolate。IfIwereyoungnow，withaconstitutionlikeyours，andtheworldbeforeme，theremightbesomegoodinaparingortwoofself-denial；butyouwouldn\'tstabyourmurdererforfearoftheclaspknifeclosingonyourhand！youwouldnotfireyourpistolathimforfearofitsburstingandblowingyourbrainsout！”
“Ihavenodesiretokeepyoualive，mylord；butIwouldgivemylifetoletyougetsomeofthegoodofthisworldbeforeyoupasstothenext。Tolengthenyourlifeinfinitely，Iwouldnotgiveyouasingledropofanyoneofthosecurseddrugs！”
Herangthebellagain。
“You\'reafriendlyfellow！”gruntedhislordship，andwentbacktohisbedtoponderhowtogainthesolaceofhispassion。
Mrs。Brookescame。
“WillyoupleasesendtoMr。Avory，thenewsurgeon，“saidDonal，“andaskhim，inmyname，tocometothecastle。“
Theearlwassoill，however，astobedoubtful，muchashedesiredthem，whether，whilerenderinghimforthemomentlesssensibletothem，anyofhisdrugswoulddonootherthanincreasehissufferings。Helaywithclosedeyes，astrangeexpressionofpainmingledwithsomethinglikefeareverynowandthenpassingoverhisface。Idoubtifhisconsciencetroubledhim。Itisingeneralthose，Ithink，whothroughcomparativelysmallsinshavecometoseethetruenatureofthem，whoseconsciencestroublethemgreatly。
Thosewhohavegonefrombadtoworsethroughmanyyearsofmoraldecay，areseldomtroubledasothermen，orhaveanybandsintheirdeath。Hislordship，itistrue，sufferedterriblyattimesbecauseofthethingshehaddone；butitwasthroughthemediumofarousedimaginationratherthanarousedconscience：theformerdealswithconsequences；thelatterwiththedeedsthemselves。
HedeclaredhewouldseenodoctorbuthisoldattendantDowster，yetallthetimewaslongingfortheyoungmantoappear：hemight——whocouldtell？——savehimfromthedreadedjawsofdeath！
Hecame。Donalwenttohim。Hehadsummonedhim，hesaid，withouthislordship\'sconsent，butbelievedhewouldseehim；theearlhadbeenlonginthehabitofusingnarcoticsandstimulants，thoughnotalcohol，hethought；hetrustedMr。Avorywouldgivehissanctiontotheentiredisuseofthem，fortheywerekillinghim，bodyandsoul。
“Togivethemupatonceandentirelywouldcosthimconsiderablesuffering，“saidthedoctor。
“Heknowsthat，anddoesnotintheleastdesiretogivethemup。Itisabsolutelynecessaryheshouldbedeliveredfromthepassion。“
“IfIamtoundertakethecase，itmustbeaftermyownjudgment，“
saidthedoctor。
“Youmustundertaketwothings，orgiveupthecase，“persistedDonal。
“Imayaswellhearwhattheyare。“
“Oneis，thatyoumakehisfinaldeliverancefromthehabityourobject；theother，thatyouwillgivenomedicineintohisownhands。“
“Iagreetoboth；butallwilldependonhisnurse。“
“Iwillbehisnurse。“
Thedoctorwenttoseehispatient。Theearlgaveoneglanceathim，recognizedfirmness，andsaidnotaword。Butwhenhewouldhaveappliedtohiswristaninstrumentrecordingincurvesthemotionsofthepulse，hewouldnotconsent。Hewouldhavenolibertiestakenwithhim，hesaid。
“Mylord，itisbuttoinquireintotheactionofyourheart，“saidMr。Avory。
“I\'llhavenospyingintomyheart！Itactsjustlikeotherpeople\'s！”
Thedoctorputhisinstrumentaside，andlaidhisfingeronthepulseinstead：hisbusinesswastohelp，nottoconquer，hesaidtohimself：ifhemightnotdowhathewould，hewoulddowhathecould。
Whilehewaswiththeearl，DonalfoundladyArctura，andtoldherallhehaddone。Shethankedhimforunderstandingher。
CHAPTERLXXIX。
ASLOWTRANSITION。
Adrearytimefollowed。Sometimesthepatientwouldlieawakehalfthenight，howlingwithmisery，andaccusingDonalofheartlesscruelty。Heknewaswellashewhatwouldeasehispainandgivehimsleep，butnotafingerwouldhemovetosavehim！Hewastakingthemeanestofrevenges！Whatdiditmattertohimwhatbecameofhissoul！Surelyitwasworsetohateashemadehimhatethantoswallowanyamountofnarcotics！
“Itellyou，Grant，“hesaidonce，“IwasneversocrueltothoseI
treatedworst。There\'snothinginthePersianhells，whichbeatalltherest，tocomeuptowhatIgothroughforwantofmycomfort。
Promisetogiveitme，andIwilltellyouwheretofindsome。“
AsoftenasDonalrefusedhewouldbreakoutinatorrentofcurses，thenliestillforaspace。
“Howdoyouthinkyouwilldowithoutit，“Donaloncerejoined，“whenyoufindyourselfbodilessintheotherworld？”
“I\'mnotthereyet！Whenthatcomes，itwillbeundernewconditions，ifnotunconditionedaltogether。We\'lltaketheworldwehave。So，mydearboy，justgoandgetmewhatIwant。Therearethekeys！”
“Idarenot。“
“Youwishtokillme！”
“Iwouldn\'tkeepyoualivetoeatopium。Ihaveotherworkthanthat。NotafingerwouldImovetosavealifeforsuchalife。ButIwouldwillinglyriskmyowntomakeyouabletodowithoutit。
Therewouldbesomegoodinthat！”
“Oh，damnyourpreaching！”
Buttheforceofthehabitabatedalittle。Nowandthenitseemedtoreturnasstrongasever，butthefitwentoffagain。Hissufferingsplainlydecreased。
Thedoctor，havinglittleyetofapractice，wasabletobewithhimseveralhourseveryday，sothatDonalcouldliedown。Ashegrewbetter，Davie，ormistressBrookes，orladyArcturawouldsitwithhim。ButDonalwasneverfartheroffthanthenextroom。Theearl\'smadnesswastheworstofany，amoralmadness：itcouldnotfailtoaffectthebrain，buthadnotyetputhimbeyondhisowncontrol。
RepeatedlyhadDonalbeenonthevergeofusingforcetorestrainhim，buthadnotyetfoundhimselfabsolutelycompelledtodoso：
fearlessofhim，hepostponeditalwaystotheverylast，andthelasthadnotyetarrived。
Thegentleministrationsofhisniecebyandbyseemedtotouchhim。
Hewasgrowingtoloveheralittle，Hewouldsmilewhenshecameintotheroom，andaskherhowshedid。Oncehesatlookingatherforsometime——thensaid，“IhopeIdidnothurtyoumuch。“
“When？”sheasked。
“Then，“heanswered。
“Oh，no；youdidnothurtme——much！”
“Anothertime，Iwasverycrueltoyouraunt：doyouthinkshewillforgiveme！”
“Yes，Ido。“
“Thenyouhaveforgivenme？”
“OfcourseIhave。“
“ThenofcourseGodwillforgivemetoo！”
“Hewill——ifyouleaveoff，youknow，uncle。“
“That\'smorethanIcanpromise。“
“Ifyoutry，hewillhelpyou。“
“Howcanhe？Itisasecondnaturenow！”
“Heisyourfirstnature。Hecanhelpyoutoobytakingawaythebodyanditsnaturetogether。“
“You\'reafinecomforter！Godwillhelpmetobegoodbytakingawaymylife！Aniceencouragementtotry！Hadn\'tIbetterkillmyselfandsavehimthetrouble！”
“It\'snotthedying，uncle！noamountofdyingwouldevermakeonegood。Itmightonlymakeitlessdifficulttobegood。“
“ButImightafterallrefusetobegood！IfeelsureIshould！Hehadbetterletmealone！”
“Godcandomorethanthattocompelustobegood——agreatdealmorethanthat！Indeed，uncle，wemustrepent。“
Hesaidnomoreforsomeminutes；thensuddenlyspokeagain。
“Isupposeyoumeantomarrythatrascalofatutor！”hesaid。
Shestartedup，andcalledDonal。Buttoherreliefhedidnotanswer：hewasfastasleep。
“Hewouldnotthankyouforthesuggestion，Ifear，“shesaid，sittingdownagain。“Heisfaraboveme！”
“IstherenochanceforForguethen？”
“Notthesmallest。Iwouldratherhavediedwhereyouleftmethan——“
“Ifyouloveme，don\'tmentionthat！”hecried。“Iwasnotmyself——indeedIwasnot！Idon\'tknownow——thatis，Ican\'tbelievesometimesIeverdidit。“
“Uncle，haveyouaskedGodtoforgiveyou！”
“Ihave——athousandtimes。“
“ThenIwillneverspeakofitagain。“
Ingeneral，however，hewassullen，cantankerous，abusive。Theywereallcompassionatetohim，treatinghimlikeaspoiled，butnotthelessinrealityasicklychild。Arcturathoughthergrandmothercouldnothavebroughthimupwell；moremightsurelyhavebeenmadeofhim。ButArcturahadhimafteralifetimefertileincauseofself-reproach，hadhiminthenetofsoresickness，atthemercyofthespiritofGod。Hewasabadoldchild——thismuchonlythewiserforbeingold，thathehadfoundthewaysoftransgressorshard。
OnenightDonal，hearinghimrestless，gotupfromthechairwherehewatchedbyhimmostnights，andsawhimstaring，butnotseeing：
hiseyesshowedthattheyregardednothingmaterial。Afteramomenthegaveagreatsigh，andhisjawfell。Donalthoughthewasdead。
Butpresentlyhecametohimselflikeoneescapingfromtorture：aterribledreamwasbehindhim，pullingattheskirtsofhisconsciousness。
“I\'veseenher！”hesaid。“She\'swaitingformetotakeme——butwhereIdonotknow。Shedidnotlookangry，butthensheseldomlookedangrywhenIwasworsttoher！——Grant，Ibegofyou，don\'tlosesightofDavie。Makeamanofhim，andhismotherwillthankyou。Shewasagoodwoman，hismother，thoughIdidwhatIcouldtospoilher！Itwasnouse！Inevercould！——andthatwashowshekeptherholdofme。IfIhadsucceeded，therewouldhavebeenanendofherpower，andagenuineheirtotheearldom！WhatadamnedfoolI
wastoletitout！Whowouldhavebeentheworse！”
“He\'saheartless，unnaturalrascal，though，“heresumed，“andhasmadeofmethefoolIdeservedtobemade！Hismothermustseeitwasnotmyfault！IwouldhavesetthingsrightifIcould！Butitwastoolate！Andyoutellmeshehashadahandinlettingthetruthout——leavingherlettersabout！——That\'ssomecomfort！Shewasalwaysfair，andwillbethelesshardonme。IfIcouldseeachanceofGodbeinghalfasgoodtomeasmypoorwife。Shewasmywife！Iwillsayitinspiteofallthepriestsinthestupiduniverse！Shewasmywife，anddeservedtobemywife；andifIhadhernow，Iwouldmarryher，becauseshewouldbefoolishenoughtolikeit，thoughIwouldnotdoitallthetimeshewasalive，letherbegeverso！Wherewastheuseofgivingin，whenIkeptherinhandsoeasilythatway？Thatwasit！ItwasnotthatIwantedtodoheranywrong。Butyoushouldkeepthelead。Amanmustn\'tplayouthislasttrumpandlosethelead。Butthenyouneverknowaboutdying！IfIhadknownmypoorwifewasgoingtodie，Iwouldhavedonewhatevershewanted。Wehadmerrytimestogether！Itwasthosecurseddrugsthatwiledthesouloutofme，andthenthedevilwentinandtookitsplace！——Therewascurarainthatlastmedicine，I\'llswear！——Lookyouherenow，Grant：——iftherewereanywayofpersuadingGodtogivemeafreshleaseoflife！Yousayhehearsprayer：whyshouldn\'tyouaskhim？Iwouldmakeyouanypromiseyoupleased——giveyouanysecurityyouwanted，hereaftertoliveagodly，righteous，andsoberlife。“
“But，“saidDonal，“supposeGod，readingyourheart，sawthatyouwouldgoonasbadasever，andthattoleaveyouanylongerwouldonlybetomakeitthemoredifficultforhimtodoanythingwithyouafterwards？”
“Hemightgivemeachance！Itishardtoexpectapoorfellowtobeasgoodasheishimself！”
“Thepoorfellowwasmadeinhisimage！”suggestedDonal。
“Verypoorlymadethen！”saidtheearlwithasneer。“Wemightaswellhavebeenmadeinsomeotherbody\'simage！”
Donalthoughtwithhimself。
Didyoueverknowagoodwoman，mylord？”heasked。
“Knowagoodwoman？——Hundredsofthem！——Theothersortwasmoretomytaste！buttherewasmyownmother！Shewasratherhardonmyfathernowandthen，butshewasagoodwoman。“
“Supposeyouhadbeeninherimage，whatthen？”
“Youwouldhavehadsomerespectforme！”
“ThenshewasnearertheimageofGodthanyou？”
“Thousandsofmiles！”
“Didyoueverknowabadwoman？”
“Knowabadwoman？Hundredsthatwouldtakeyourheart\'sbloodasyouslepttomakeaphiltrewith！”
“Thenyousawadifferencebetweensuchawomanandyourmother？”
“Theonewasofheaven，theotherofhell——thatwasallthelittledifference！”
“Didyoueverknowabadwomangrowbetter？”
“No，never——Stop！letmesee“Ididonceknowawoman——shewasamarriedwomantoo——thatmadeitalltheworse——allthebetterI
mean：shetookpoison——ingoodearnest，anddied——died，sir——died，I
say——whenshecametoherself，andknewwhatshehaddone！ThatwastheonlywomanIeverknewthatgrewbetter。Howlongshemighthavegoneonbetterifshehadn\'ttakenthepoison，Ican\'ttell。Thatfixedhergood，yousee！”
“Ifshehadgoneon，shemighthavegotasgoodasyourmother？”
“Oh，hangit！no；Ididnotsaythat！”
“Imean，withGodteachingherallthetime——fortenthousandyears，say——andshealwaysdoingwhathetoldher！”
“Oh，well！Idon\'tknowanythingaboutthat。Idon\'tknowwhatGodhadtodowithmymotherbeingsogood！Shewasnoneofyourcantingsort！”
“Thereisanoldstory，“saidDonal，“ofamanwhowastheveryimageofGod，andeversomuchbetterthanthebestofwomen。“
“Hecouldn\'thavebeenmuchofamanthen！”
“Wereyoueverafraid，mylord？”
“Yes，severaltimes——manyatime。“
“Thatmanneverknewwhatfearwas。“
“ByJove！”
“Hismotherwasgood，andhewasbetter：yourmotherwasgood，andyouareworse！Whosefaultisthat？”
“Myown；I\'mnotashamedtoconfessit！”
“WouldtoGodyouwere！”saidDonal：“youshameyourmotherinbeingworsethanshewas。YouweremadeintheimageofGod，butyoudon\'tlooklikehimnowanymorethanyoulooklikeyourmother。Ihaveafatherandmother，mylord，aslikeGodastheycanlook！”
“Ofcourse！ofcourse！Intheirpositiontherearenosuchtemptationsasinours！”
“Iamsureofonething，mylord——thatyouwillneverbeatanypeaceuntilyoubegintoshowtheimageinwhichyouweremade。Bythattimeyouwillcarefornothingsomuchasthatheshouldhavehiswaywithyouandthewholeworld。“
“ItwillbelongbeforeIcometothat！”
“Probably；butyouwillneverhaveamoment\'speacetillyoubegin。
Itisnousetalkingthough。Godhasnotmadeyoumiserableenoughyet。“
“Iammoremiserablethanyoucanthink。“
“Whydon\'tyoucrytohimtodeliveryou？”
“Iwouldkillmyselfifitweren\'tforonething。“
“Itisfromyourselfhewoulddeliveryou。“
“Iwould，butthatIwanttoputoffseeingmywifeaslongasI
can。“
“Ithoughtyouwantedtoseeher！”
“Ilongforhersometimesmorethantonguecantell。“
“Andyoudon\'twanttoseeher？”
“Notyet；notjustyet。Ishouldliketobealittlebetter——todosomethingorother——Idon\'tknowwhat——first。Idoubtifshewouldtouchmenow——withthatsmall，firmhandshewouldcatchholdofmewithwhenIhurther。ByJove，ifshehadbeenaman，shewouldhavemadehermarkintheworld！Shehadawillandawaywithher！Ifithadn\'tbeenthatshelovedme——me，doyouhear，youdog！——thoughthere\'snobodylefttocareaworm-eatennutaboutme，itmakesmeproudasLucifermerelytothinkofit！Idon\'tcareifthere\'sneveranothertolovemetoalleternity！Ihavebeenlovedasnevermanwasloved！Allformyownsake，mindyou！InthewayofmoneyI
wasnogreatcatch；andfortherank，shenevergotanygoodofthat，norwouldifshehadlivedtillIwasearl；shehadaconscience——whichIneverhad——andwouldneverhaveconsentedtobecalledcountess。\'Itwillbenoworsethanpassingformywifenow，\'
Iwouldsay。\'What\'seitherbutanappearance？What\'sanythingofallthedamnedhumbugbutappearance？Oneappearanceisasgoodasanotherappearance！\'Shewouldonlysmile——smilefittomakeamulesad！Andthenwhenherbabywasdying，andshewantedmetotakeherforaminute，andIwouldn\'t！Shelaidherdown，andgotwhatshewantedherself，andwhenshewenttotakethechildagain，theabsurdlittlethingwas——was——gone——dead，Imeangonedead，nevertocryanymore！Thereitlaymotionless，likealumpofwhiteclay。
Shelookedatme——andnever——inthisworld——smiledagain！——norcriedeither——allIcoulddotomakeher！”
Thewretchedmanburstintotears，andtheheartofDonalgavealeapforjoy。Commonastearsare，fallastheymayforthefoolishestthings，theymayyetbesuchastocausejoyinparadise。
Themanhimselfmaynotknowwhyheweeps，andhistearsyetindicatehisturningonhisroad。Theearlwasasfarfromagoodmanasmanwellcouldbe；thereweremillionsofspiritualmilesbetwixthimandtheimageofGod；hehadweptitwashardtosayatwhat——notathisowncruelty，notathiswife\'ssuffering，notinpityofthelittlesoulthatwentawayatlastoutofnohumanembrace；himselfleastofallcouldhavetoldwhyhewept；yetwasthatweepingsomesignofcontactbetweenhishumansoulandthegreathumansoulofGod；itwasthebeginningofapossiblecommunionwiththeFatherofall！SurelyGodsawthis，andknewthehearthehadmade——sawtheflaxsmokingyet！Hewhowillnotletusoutuntilwehavepaidtheuttermostfarthing，rejoicesovertheofferofthefirstgoldengrain。
Donaldroppedonhiskneesandprayed：——
“OFatherofusall！”hesaid，“inwhosehandsaretheseunrulyheartsofours，wecannotmanageourselves；weruinourownselves；
butintheeisourhelpfound！”
Prayerwentfromhim；herosefromhisknees。
“Goon；goon；don\'tstop！”criedtheearl。“Hemayhearyou——whocantell！”
Donalwentdownonhiskneesagain。
“OGod！”hesaid，“thouknowestus，whetherwespeaktotheeornot；
takefromthismanhishardnessofheart。Makehimlovethee。“
Therehestoppedagain。Hecouldsaynomore。
“Ican\'tpray，mylord，“hesaid，rising。“Idon\'tknowwhy。ItseemsasifnothingIsaidmeantanything。IwillprayforyouwhenIamalone。“
“Aretheresomanydevilsaboutmethatanhonestfellowcan\'tprayinmycompany？”criedtheearl。“Iwillpraymyself，inspiteofthewholeswarmofthem，bigandlittle！——OGod，saveme！Idon\'twanttobedamned。Iwillbegoodifthouwiltmakeme。Idon\'tcareaboutitmyself，butthoucanstdoasthoupleasest。Itwouldbeafinethingifarascallikemeweretoescapethedevilthroughthygoodnessafterall。I\'mworthnothing，butthere\'smywife！Pray，pray，LordGod，letmeonedayseemywifeagain！——ForChrist\'ssake——ain\'tthattheway，Grant？——Amen。“
Donalhaddroppedonhiskneesoncemorewhentheearlbegantopray。HeutteredaheartyAmen。Theearlturnedsharplytowardshim，andsawhewasweeping。Heputouthishandtohim，andsaid，“You\'llstandmyfriend，Grant？”
CHAPTERLXXX。
AWAY-FARING。
SuddenlywhatstrengthladyArcturahad，gaveway，andshebegantosink。Butitwasspringwiththesummerathand；theyhopedshewouldrecoversufficientlytoberemovedtoafitterclimate。Shedidnotherselfthinkso。Shehadhardlyadoubtthathertimewascome。Shewascalm，oftencheerful，butherspiritswerevariable。
Donal\'sheartwassorerthanhehadthoughtitcouldbeagain。
Oneday，havingbeenreadingalittletoher，hesatlookingather。
Hedidnotknowhowsadwastheexpressionofhiscountenance。Shelookedup，smiled，andsaid，“YouthinkIamunhappy！——youcouldnotlookatmelikethatifyoudidnotthinkso！Iamonlytired；Iamnotunhappy。Ihardlyknownowwhatunhappinessis！IfeverIlookasifIwereunhappy，itisonlythatIamwaitingformorelife。Itisontheway；Ifeelitis，becauseIamsocontentwitheverything；Iwouldhavenothingotherthanitis。ItisveryhardforGodthathischildrenwillnottrusthimtodowiththemwhathepleases！Iamsure，Mr。Grant，theworldisallwrong，andonthewaytobeallwondrouslyright。ItwillcostGodmuchlabouryet：wewillcosthimaslittleaswecan——won\'twe？——Oh，Mr。Grant，ifithadn\'tbeenforyou，Godwouldhavebeenfarawaystill！ForaGodIshouldhavehadsomethinghalfanidol，halfacommonplacetyrant！IshouldneverhavedreamedofthegloryofGod！”