CHAPTERV
OFTHESHREWDANDDROLLCONVERSATIONTHATPASSEDBETWEENSANCHO
PANZAANDHISWIFETERESAPANZA，ANDOTHERMATTERSWORTHYOFBEING
DULYRECORDED
THEtranslatorofthishistory，whenhecomestowritethisfifthchapter，saysthatheconsidersitapocryphal，becauseinitSanchoPanzaspeaksinastyleunlikethatwhichmighthavebeenexpectedfromhislimitedintelligence，andsaysthingssosubtlethathedoesnotthinkitpossiblehecouldhaveconceivedthem；however，desirousofdoingwhathistaskimposeduponhim，hewasunwillingtoleaveituntranslated，andthereforehewentontosay：
Sanchocamehomeinsuchgleeandspiritsthathiswifenoticedhishappinessabowshotoff，somuchsothatitmadeheraskhim，“Whathaveyougot，Sanchofriend，thatyouaresoglad？”
Towhichhereplied，“Wife，ifitwereGod\'swill，IshouldbeverygladnottobesowellpleasedasIshowmyself。“
“Idon\'tunderstandyou，husband，“saidshe，“andIdon\'tknowwhatyoumeanbysayingyouwouldbeglad，ifitwereGod\'swill，nottobewellpleased；for，foolasIam，Idon\'tknowhowonecanfindpleasureinnothavingit。“
“Harkye，Teresa，“repliedSancho，“IamgladbecauseIhavemadeupmymindtogobacktotheserviceofmymasterDonQuixote，whomeanstogooutathirdtimetoseekforadventures；andIamgoingwithhimagain，formynecessitieswillhaveitso，andalsothehopethatcheersmewiththethoughtthatImayfindanotherhundredcrownslikethosewehavespent；thoughitmakesmesadtohavetoleavetheeandthechildren；andifGodwouldbepleasedtoletmehavemydailybread，dry-shodandathome，withouttakingmeoutintothebywaysandcross-roads-andhecoulddoitatsmallcostbymerelywillingit-itisclearmyhappinesswouldbemoresolidandlasting，forthehappinessIhaveismingledwithsorrowatleavingthee；sothatIwasrightinsayingIwouldbeglad，ifitwereGod\'swill，nottobewellpleased。“
“Lookhere，Sancho，“saidTeresa；“eversinceyoujoinedontoaknight-errantyoutalkinsucharoundaboutwaythatthereisnounderstandingyou。“
“ItisenoughthatGodunderstandsme，wife，“repliedSancho；“forheistheunderstanderofallthings；thatwilldo；butmind，sister，youmustlooktoDapplecarefullyforthenextthreedays，sothathemaybefittotakearms；doublehisfeed，andseetothepack-saddleandotherharness，foritisnottoaweddingwearebound，buttogoroundtheworld，andplayatgiveandtakewithgiantsanddragonsandmonsters，andhearhissingsandroaringsandbellowingsandhowlings；andevenallthiswouldbelavender，ifwehadnottoreckonwithYanguesansandenchantedMoors。“
“Iknowwellenough，husband，“saidTeresa，“thatsquires-errantdon\'teattheirbreadfornothing，andsoIwillbealwaysprayingtoourLordtodeliveryouspeedilyfromallthathardfortune。“
“Icantellyou，wife，“saidSancho，“ifIdidnotexpecttoseemyselfgovernorofanislandbeforelong，Iwoulddropdowndeadonthespot。“
“Nay，then，husband，“saidTeresa；“letthehenlive，thoughitbewithherpip，live，andletthedeviltakeallthegovernmentsintheworld；youcameoutofyourmother\'swombwithoutagovernment，youhaveliveduntilnowwithoutagovernment，andwhenitisGod\'swillyouwillgo，orbecarried，toyourgravewithoutagovernment。
Howmanythereareintheworldwholivewithoutagovernment，andcontinuetoliveallthesame，andarereckonedinthenumberofthepeople。Thebestsauceintheworldishunger，andasthepoorareneverwithoutthat，theyalwayseatwitharelish。Butmind，Sancho，ifbygoodluckyoushouldfindyourselfwithsomegovernment，don\'tforgetmeandyourchildren。RememberthatSanchicoisnowfullfifteen，anditisrightheshouldgotoschool，ifhisuncletheabbothasamindtohavehimtrainedfortheChurch。Consider，too，thatyourdaughterMari-Sanchawillnotdieofgriefifwemarryher；forIhavemysuspicionsthatsheisaseagertogetahusbandasyoutogetagovernment；and，afterall，adaughterlooksbetterillmarriedthanwellwhored。“
“Bymyfaith，“repliedSancho，“ifGodbringsmetogetanysortofagovernment，Iintend，wife，tomakesuchahighmatchforMari-Sanchathattherewillbenoapproachingherwithoutcallingher\'mylady。“
“Nay，Sancho，“returnedTeresa；“marryhertoherequal，thatisthesafestplan；forifyouputheroutofwoodenclogsintohigh-heeledshoes，outofhergreyflannelpetticoatintohoopsandsilkgowns，outoftheplain\'Marica\'and\'thou，\'into\'DonaSo-and-so\'and\'mylady，\'thegirlwon\'tknowwheresheis，andateveryturnshewillfallintoathousandblundersthatwillshowthethreadofhercoarsehomespunstuff。“
“Tut，youfool，“saidSancho；“itwillbeonlytopractiseitfortwoorthreeyears；andthendignityanddecorumwillfitheraseasilyasaglove；andifnot，whatmatter？Letherhe\'mylady，\'
andnevermindwhathappens。“
“Keeptoyourownstation，Sancho，“repliedTeresa；“don\'ttrytoraiseyourselfhigher，andbearinmindtheproverbthatsays，\'wipethenoseofyourneigbbour\'sson，andtakehimintoyourhouse。\'A
finethingitwouldbe，indeed，tomarryourMariatosomegreatcountorgrandgentleman，who，whenthehumourtookhim，wouldabuseherandcallherclown-bredandclodhopper\'sdaughterandspinningwench。I
havenotbeenbringingupmydaughterforthatallthistime，Icantellyou，husband。Doyoubringhomemoney，Sancho，andleavemarryinghertomycare；thereisLopeTocho，JuanTocho\'sson，astout，sturdyyoungfellowthatweknow，andIcanseehedoesnotlooksouratthegirl；andwithhim，oneofourownsort，shewillbewellmarried，andweshallhaveheralwaysunderoureyes，andbeallonefamily，parentsandchildren，grandchildrenandsons-in-law，andthepeaceandblessingofGodwilldwellamongus；sodon\'tyougomarryingherinthosecourtsandgrandpalaceswheretheywon\'tknowwhattomakeofher，orshewhattomakeofherself。“
“Why，youidiotandwifeforBarabbas，“saidSancho，“whatdoyoumeanbytrying，withoutwhyorwherefore，tokeepmefrommarryingmydaughtertoonewhowillgivemegrandchildrenthatwillbecalled\'yourlordship\'？Lookye，Teresa，Ihavealwaysheardmyelderssaythathewhodoesnotknowhowtotakeadvantageofluckwhenitcomestohim，hasnorighttocomplainifitgiveshimthego-by；
andnowthatitisknockingatourdoor，itwillnotdotoshutitout；letusgowiththefavouringbreezethatblowsuponus。“
Itisthissortoftalk，andwhatSanchosayslowerdown，thatmadethetranslatorofthehistorysayheconsideredthischapterapocryphal。
“Don\'tyousee，youanimal，“continuedSancho，“thatitwillbewellformetodropintosomeprofitablegovernmentthatwillliftusoutofthemire，andmarryMari-SanchatowhomIlike；andyouyourselfwillfindyourselfcalled\'DonaTeresaPanza，\'andsittinginchurchonafinecarpetandcushionsanddraperies，inspiteandindefianceofallthebornladiesofthetown？No，stayasyouare，growingneithergreaternorless，likeatapestryfigure-Letussaynomoreaboutit，forSanchicashallbeacountess，saywhatyouwill。“
“Areyousureofallyousay，husband？”repliedTeresa。“Well，forallthat，Iamafraidthisrankofcountessformydaughterwillbeherruin。Youdoasyoulike，makeaduchessoraprincessofher，butIcantellyouitwillnotbewithmywillandconsent。Iwasalwaysaloverofequality，brother，andIcan\'tbeartoseepeoplegivethemselvesairswithoutanyright。TheycalledmeTeresaatmybaptism，aplain，simplename，withoutanyadditionsortagsorfringesofDonsorDonas；Cascajowasmyfather\'sname，andasIamyourwife，IamcalledTeresaPanza，thoughbyrightIoughttohecalledTeresaCascajo；but\'kingsgowherelawslike，\'andIamcontentwiththisnamewithouthavingthe\'Don\'putontopofittomakeitsoheavythatIcannotcarryit；andIdon\'twanttomakepeopletalkaboutmewhentheyseemegodressedlikeacountessorgovernor\'swife；fortheywillsayatonce，\'Seewhatairstheslutgivesherself！Onlyyesterdayshewasalwaysspinningflax，andusedtogotomasswiththetailofherpetticoatoverherheadinsteadofamantle，andthereshegoesto-dayinahoopedgownwithherbroachesandairs，asifwedidn\'tknowher！\'IfGodkeepsmeinmysevensenses，orfive，orwhatevernumberIhave，Iamnotgoingtobringmyselftosuchapass；goyou，brother，andbeagovernmentoranislandman，andswaggerasmuchasyoulike；forbythesoulofmymother，neithermydaughternorIaregoingtostirastepfromourvillage；arespectablewomanshouldhaveabrokenlegandkeepathome；andtohebusyatsomethingisavirtuousdamsel\'sholiday；beofftoyouradventuresalongwithyourDonQuixote，andleaveustoourmisadventures，forGodwillmendthemforusaccordingaswedeserveit。Idon\'tknow，I\'msure，whofixedthe\'Don\'tohim，whatneitherhisfathernorgrandfathereverhad。“
“Ideclarethouhastadevilofsomesortinthybody！”saidSancho。
“Godhelpthee，whatalotofthingsthouhaststrungtogether，oneaftertheother，withoutheadortail！WhathaveCascajo，andthebroachesandtheproverbsandtheairs，todowithwhatIsay？Lookhere，foolanddoltforsoImaycallyou，whenyoudon\'tunderstandmywords，andrunawayfromgoodfortune，ifIhadsaidthatmydaughterwastothrowherselfdownfromatower，orgoroamingtheworld，astheInfantaDonaUrracawantedtodo，youwouldberightinnotgivingwaytomywill；butifinaninstant，inlessthanthetwinklingofaneye，Iputthe\'Don\'and\'mylady\'onherback，andtakeheroutofthestubble，andplaceherunderacanopy，onadais，andonacouch，withmorevelvetcushionsthanalltheAlmohadesofMoroccoeverhadintheirfamily，whywon\'tyouconsentandfallinwithmywishes？”
“Doyouknowwhy，husband？”repliedTeresa；“becauseoftheproverbthatsays\'whocoversthee，discoversthee。\'Atthepoormanpeopleonlythrowahastyglance；ontherichmantheyfixtheireyes；
andifthesaidrichmanwasonceonatimepoor，itisthenthereisthesneeringandthetattleandspiteofbackbiters；andinthestreetsheretheyswarmasthickasbees。“
“Lookhere，Teresa，“saidSancho，“andlistentowhatIamnowgoingtosaytoyou；maybeyouneverhearditinallyourlife；andIdonotgivemyownnotions，forwhatIamabouttosayaretheopinionsofhisreverencethepreacher，whopreachedinthistownlastLent，andwhosaid，ifIrememberrightly，thatallthingspresentthatoureyesbehold，bringthemselvesbeforeus，andremainandfixthemselvesonourmemorymuchbetterandmoreforciblythanthingspast。“
TheseobservationswhichSanchomakesherearetheotheronesonaccountofwhichthetranslatorsaysheregardsthischapterasapocryphal，inasmuchastheyarebeyondSancho\'scapacity。
“Whenceitarises，“hecontinued，“thatwhenweseeanypersonwelldressedandmakingafigurewithrichgarmentsandretinueofservants，itseemstoleadandimpelusperforcetorespecthim，thoughmemorymayatthesamemomentrecalltoussomelowlyconditioninwhichwehaveseenhim，butwhich，whetheritmayhavebeenpovertyorlowbirth，beingnowathingofthepast，hasnoexistence；whiletheonlythingthathasanyexistenceiswhatweseebeforeus；andifthispersonwhomfortunehasraisedfromhisoriginallowlystatetheseweretheverywordsthepadreusedtohispresentheightofprosperity，bewellbred，generous，courteoustoall，withoutseekingtoviewiththosewhosenobilityisofancientdate，dependuponit，Teresa，noonewillrememberwhathewas，andeveryonewillrespectwhatheis，exceptindeedtheenvious，fromwhomnofairfortuneissafe。“
“Idonotunderstandyou，husband，“repliedTeresa；“doasyoulike，anddon\'tbreakmyheadwithanymorespeechifyingandrethoric；andifyouhaverevolvedtodowhatyousay-“
“Resolved，youshouldsay，woman，“saidSancho，“notrevolved。“
“Don\'tsetyourselftowranglewithme，husband，“saidTeresa；“I
speakasGodpleases，anddon\'tdealinout-of-the-wayphrases；andIsayifyouarebentuponhavingagovernment，takeyoursonSanchowithyou，andteachhimfromthistimeonhowtoholdagovernment；
forsonsoughttoinheritandlearnthetradesoftheirfathers。“
“AssoonasIhavethegovernment，“saidSancho，“Iwillsendforhimbypost，andIwillsendtheemoney，ofwhichIshallhavenolack，forthereisneveranywantofpeopletolendittogovernorswhentheyhavenotgotit；anddothoudresshimsoastohidewhatheisandmakehimlookwhatheistobe。“
“Yousendthemoney，“saidTeresa，“andI\'lldresshimupforyouasfineasyouplease。“
“Thenweareagreedthatourdaughteristobeacountess，“saidSancho。
“ThedaythatIseeheracountess，“repliedTeresa，“itwillbethesametomeasifIwasburyingher；butoncemoreIsaydoasyouplease，forwewomenareborntothisburdenofbeingobedienttoourhusbands，thoughtheybedogs；“andwiththisshebegantoweepinearnest，asifshealreadysawSanchicadeadandburied。
Sanchoconsoledherbysayingthatthoughhemustmakeheracountess，hewouldputitoffaslongaspossible。Heretheirconversationcametoanend，andSanchowentbacktoseeDonQuixote，andmakearrangementsfortheirdeparture。
CHAPTERVI
OFWHATTOOKPLACEBETWEENDONQUIXOTEANDHISNIECEAND
HOUSEKEEPER；ONEOFTHEMOSTIMPORTANTCHAPTERSINTHEWHOLEHISTORY
WHILESanchoPanzaandhiswife，TeresaCascajo，heldtheaboveirrelevantconversation，DonQuixote\'snieceandhousekeeperwerenotidle，forbyathousandsignstheybegantoperceivethattheiruncleandmastermeanttogivethemtheslipthethirdtime，andoncemorebetakehimselftohis，forthem，ill-errantchivalry。Theystrovebyallthemeansintheirpowertodiverthimfromsuchanunluckyscheme；butitwasallpreachinginthedesertandhammeringcoldiron。Nevertheless，amongmanyotherrepresentationsmadetohim，thehousekeepersaidtohim，“Intruth，master，ifyoudonotkeepstillandstayquietathome，andgiveoverroamingmountainsandvalleyslikeatroubledspirit，lookingforwhattheysayarecalledadventures，butwhatIcallmisfortunes，IshallhavetomakecomplainttoGodandthekingwithloudsupplicationtosendsomeremedy。“
TowhichDonQuixotereplied，“WhatanswerGodwillgivetoyourcomplaints，housekeeper，Iknownot，norwhathisMajestywillanswereither；IonlyknowthatifIwerekingIshoulddeclinetoanswerthenumberlesssillypetitionstheypresenteveryday；foroneofthegreatestamongthemanytroubleskingshaveisbeingobligedtolistentoallandanswerall，andthereforeIshouldbesorrythatanyaffairsofmineshouldworryhim。“
Whereuponthehousekeepersaid，“Tellus，senor，athisMajesty\'scourtaretherenoknights？”
“Thereare，“repliedDonQuixote，“andplentyofthem；anditisrightthereshouldbe，tosetoffthedignityoftheprince，andforthegreatergloryoftheking\'smajesty。“
“Thenmightnotyourworship，“saidshe，“beoneofthosethat，withoutstirringastep，servetheirkingandlordinhiscourt？”
“Recollect，myfriend，“saidDonQuixote，“allknightscannotbecourtiers，norcanallcourtiersbeknights-errant，norneedtheybe。Theremustbeallsortsintheworld；andthoughwemaybeallknights，thereisagreatdifferencebetweenoneandanother；forthecourtiers，withoutquittingtheirchambers，orthethresholdofthecourt，rangetheworldoverbylookingatamap，withoutitscostingthemafarthing，andwithoutsufferingheatorcold，hungerorthirst；butwe，thetrueknights-errant，measurethewholeearthwithourownfeet，exposedtothesun，tothecold，totheair，totheinclemenciesofheaven，bydayandnight，onfootandonhorseback；
nordoweonlyknowenemiesinpictures，butintheirownrealshapes；
andatallrisksandonalloccasionsweattackthem，withoutanyregardtochildishpointsorrulesofsinglecombat，whetheronehasorhasnotashorterlanceorsword，whetheronecarriesrelicsoranysecretcontrivanceabouthim，whetherornotthesunistobedividedandportionedout，andothernicetiesofthesortthatareobservedinsetcombatsofmantoman，thatyouknownothingabout，butIdo。Andyoumustknowbesides，thatthetrueknight-errant，thoughhemayseetengiants，thatnotonlytouchthecloudswiththeirheadsbutpiercethem，andthatgo，eachofthem，ontwotalltowersbywayoflegs，andwhosearmsarelikethemastsofmightyships，andeacheyelikeagreatmill-wheel，andglowingbrighterthanaglassfurnace，mustnotonanyaccountbedismayedbythem。Onthecontrary，hemustattackandfalluponthemwithagallantbearingandafearlessheart，and，ifpossible，vanquishanddestroythem，eventhoughtheyhaveforarmourtheshellsofacertainfish，thattheysayareharderthandiamonds，andinplaceofswordswieldtrenchantbladesofDamascussteel，orclubsstuddedwithspikesalsoofsteel，suchasIhavemorethanonceseen。AllthisIsay，housekeeper，thatyoumayseethedifferencethereisbetweentheonesortofknightandtheother；anditwouldbewelliftherewerenoprincewhodidnotsetahighervalueonthissecond，ormoreproperlyspeakingfirst，kindofknights-errant；for，aswereadintheirhistories，therehavebeensomeamongthemwhohavebeenthesalvation，notmerelyofonekingdom，butofmany。“
“Ah，senor，“hereexclaimedtheniece，“rememberthatallthisyouaresayingaboutknights-errantisfableandfiction；andtheirhistories，ifindeedtheywerenotburned，woulddeserve，eachofthem，tohaveasambenitoputonit，orsomemarkbywhichitmightbeknownasinfamousandacorrupterofgoodmanners。“
“BytheGodthatgivesmelife，“saidDonQuixote，“ifthouwertnotmyfullniece，beingdaughterofmyownsister，Iwouldinflictachastisementupontheefortheblasphemythouhastutteredthatalltheworldshouldringwith。What！canitbethatayounghussythathardlyknowshowtohandleadozenlace-bobbinsdarestowaghertongueandcriticisethehistoriesofknights-errant？WhatwouldSenorAmadissayifheheardofsuchathing？He，however，nodoubtwouldforgivethee，forhewasthemosthumble-mindedandcourteousknightofhistime，andmoreoveragreatprotectorofdamsels；butsometherearethatmighthaveheardthee，anditwouldnothavebeenwellfortheeinthatcase；fortheyarenotallcourteousormannerly；someareill-conditionedscoundrels；norisiteveryonethatcallshimselfagentleman，thatissoinallrespects；somearegold，otherspinchbeck，andalllooklikegentlemen，butnotallcanstandthetouchstoneoftruth。Therearemenoflowrankwhostrainthemselvestoburstingtopassforgentlemen，andhighgentlemenwho，onewouldfancy，weredyingtopassformenoflowrank；theformerraisethemselvesbytheirambitionorbytheirvirtues，thelatterdebasethemselvesbytheirlackofspiritorbytheirvices；andonehasneedofexperienceanddiscernmenttodistinguishthesetwokindsofgentlemen，somuchalikeinnameandsodifferentinconduct。“
“Godblessme！”saidtheniece，“thatyoushouldknowsomuch，uncle-enough，ifneedbe，togetupintoapulpitandgopreachinthestreets-andyetthatyoushouldfallintoadelusionsogreatandafollysomanifestastotrytomakeyourselfoutvigorouswhenyouareold，strongwhenyouaresickly，abletoputstraightwhatiscrookedwhenyouyourselfarebentbyage，and，aboveall，acaballerowhenyouarenotone；forthoughgentlefolkmayheso，poormenarenothingofthekind！”
“Thereisagreatdealoftruthinwhatyousay，niece，“returnedDonQuixote，“andIcouldtellyousomewhataboutbirththatwouldastonishyou；but，nottomixupthingshumananddivine，Irefrain。
Lookyou，mydears，allthelineagesintheworldattendtowhatIamsayingcanbereducedtofoursorts，whicharethese：thosethathadhumblebeginnings，andwentonspreadingandextendingthemselvesuntiltheyattainedsurpassinggreatness；thosethathadgreatbeginningsandmaintainedthem，andstillmaintainandupholdthegreatnessoftheirorigin；those，again，thatfromagreatbeginninghaveendedinapointlikeapyramid，havingreducedandlessenedtheiroriginalgreatnesstillithascometonought，likethepointofapyramid，which，relativelytoitsbaseorfoundation，isnothing；andthentherearethose-anditistheythatarethemostnumerous-thathavehadneitheranillustriousbeginningnoraremarkablemid-course，andsowillhaveanendwithoutaname，likeanordinaryplebeianline。Ofthefirst，thosethathadanhumbleoriginandrosetothegreatnesstheystillpreserve，theOttomanhousemayserveasanexample，whichfromanhumbleandlowlyshepherd，itsfounder，hasreachedtheheightatwhichwenowseeit。Forexamplesofthesecondsortoflineage，thatbeganwithgreatnessandmaintainsitstillwithoutaddingtoit，therearethemanyprinceswhohaveinheritedthedignity，andmaintainthemselvesintheirinheritance，withoutincreasingordiminishingit，keepingpeacefullywithinthelimitsoftheirstates。Ofthosethatbegangreatandendedinapoint，therearethousandsofexamples，forallthePharaohsandPtolemiesofEgypt，theCaesarsofRome，andthewholeherdifImaysuchawordtothemofcountlessprinces，monarchs，lords，Medes，Assyrians，Persians，Greeks，andbarbarians，alltheselineagesandlordshipshaveendedinapointandcometonothing，theythemselvesaswellastheirfounders，foritwouldbeimpossiblenowtofindoneoftheirdescendants，and，evenshouldwefindone，itwouldbeinsomelowlyandhumblecondition。OfplebeianlineagesIhavenothingtosay，savethattheymerelyservetoswellthenumberofthosethatlive，withoutanyeminencetoentitlethemtoanyfameorpraisebeyondthis。FromallIhavesaidI
wouldhaveyougather，mypoorinnocents，thatgreatistheconfusionamonglineages，andthatonlythoseareseentobegreatandillustriousthatshowthemselvessobythevirtue，wealth，andgenerosityoftheirpossessors。Ihavesaidvirtue，wealth，andgenerosity，becauseagreatmanwhoisviciouswillbeagreatexampleofvice，andarichmanwhoisnotgenerouswillbemerelyamiserlybeggar；forthepossessorofwealthisnotmadehappybypossessingit，butbyspendingit，andnotbyspendingashepleases，butbyknowinghowtospenditwell。Thepoorgentlemanhasnowayofshowingthatheisagentlemanbutbyvirtue，bybeingaffable，well-bred，courteous，gentle-mannered，andkindly，nothaughty，arrogant，orcensorious，butaboveallbybeingcharitable；forbytwomaravedisgivenwithacheerfulhearttothepoor，hewillshowhimselfasgenerousashewhodistributesalmswithbell-ringing，andnoonethatperceiveshimtobeendowedwiththevirtuesIhavenamed，eventhoughheknowhimnot，willfailtorecogniseandsethimdownasoneofgoodblood；anditwouldbestrangewereitnotso；praisehaseverbeentherewardofvirtue，andthosewhoarevirtuouscannotfailtoreceivecommendation。Therearetworoads，mydaughters，bywhichmenmayreachwealthandhonours；oneisthatofletters，theotherthatofarms。Ihavemoreofarmsthanoflettersinmycomposition，and，judgingbymyinclinationtoarms，wasbornundertheinfluenceoftheplanetMars。Iam，therefore，inameasureconstrainedtofollowthatroad，andbyitImusttravelinspiteofalltheworld，anditwillbelabourinvainforyoutourgemetoresistwhatheavenwills，fateordains，reasonrequires，and，aboveall，myowninclinationfavours；forknowingasIdothecountlesstoilsthataretheaccompanimentsofknight-errantry，Iknow，too，theinfiniteblessingsthatareattainedbyit；Iknowthatthepathofvirtueisverynarrow，andtheroadofvicebroadandspacious；Iknowtheirendsandgoalsaredifferent，forthebroadandeasyroadofviceendsindeath，andthenarrowandtoilsomeoneofvirtueinlife，andnottransitorylife，butinthatwhichhasnoend；Iknow，asourgreatCastilianpoetsays，that-
ItisbyruggedpathslikethesetheygoThatscaletheheightsofimmortality，Unreachedbythosethatfalterherebelow。“
“Woeisme！”exclaimedtheniece，“mylordisapoet，too！Heknowseverything，andhecandoeverything；Iwillbet，ifhechosetoturnmason，hecouldmakeahouseaseasilyasacage。“
“Icantellyou，niece，“repliedDonQuixote，“ifthesechivalrousthoughtsdidnotengageallmyfaculties，therewouldbenothingthatIcouldnotdo，noranysortofknickknackthatwouldnotcomefrommyhands，particularlycagesandtooth-picks。“
Atthismomenttherecameaknockingatthedoor，andwhentheyaskedwhowasthere，SanchoPanzamadeanswerthatitwashe。Theinstantthehousekeeperknewwhoitwas，sherantohideherselfsoasnottoseehim；insuchabhorrencedidsheholdhim。Theniecelethimin，andhismasterDonQuixotecameforwardtoreceivehimwithopenarms，andthepairshutthemselvesupinhisroom，wheretheyhadanotherconversationnotinferiortothepreviousone。
CHAPTERVII
OFWHATPASSEDBETWEENDONQUIXOTEANDHISSQUIRE，TOGETHERWITH
OTHERVERYNOTABLEINCIDENTS
THEinstantthehousekeepersawSanchoPanzashuthimselfinwithhermaster，sheguessedwhattheywereabout；andsuspectingthattheresultoftheconsultationwouldbearesolvetoundertakeathirdsally，sheseizedhermantle，andindeepanxietyanddistress，rantofindthebachelorSamsonCarrasco，asshethoughtthat，beingawell-spokenman，andanewfriendofhermaster\'s，hemightbeabletopersuadehimtogiveupanysuchcrazynotion。Shefoundhimpacingthepatioofhishouse，and，perspiringandflurried，shefellathisfeetthemomentshesawhim。
Carrasco，seeinghowdistressedandovercomeshewas，saidtoher，“Whatisthis，mistresshousekeeper？Whathashappenedtoyou？Onewouldthinkyouheart-broken。“
“Nothing，SenorSamson，“saidshe，“onlythatmymasterisbreakingout，plainlybreakingout。“
“Whereaboutsishebreakingout，senora？”askedSamson；“hasanypartofhisbodyburst？”
“Heisonlybreakingoutatthedoorofhismadness，“shereplied；
“Imean，dearsenorbachelor，thatheisgoingtobreakoutagainandthiswillbethethirdtimetohuntallovertheworldforwhathecallsventures，thoughIcan\'tmakeoutwhyhegivesthemthatname。
Thefirsttimehewasbroughtbacktousslungacrossthebackofanass，andbelabouredallover；andthesecondtimehecameinanox-cart，shutupinacage，inwhichhepersuadedhimselfhewasenchanted，andthepoorcreaturewasinsuchastatethatthemotherthatborehimwouldnothaveknownhim；lean，yellow，withhiseyessunkdeepinthecellsofhisskull；sothattobringhimroundagain，eversolittle，costmemorethansixhundredeggs，asGodknows，andalltheworld，andmyhenstoo，thatwon\'tletmetellalie。“
“ThatIcanwellbelieve，“repliedthebachelor，“fortheyaresogoodandsofat，andsowell-bred，thattheywouldnotsayonethingforanother，thoughtheyweretoburstforit。Inshortthen，mistresshousekeeper，thatisall，andthereisnothingthematter，exceptwhatitisfearedDonQuixotemaydo？”
“No，senor，“saidshe。
“Wellthen，“returnedthebachelor，“don\'tbeuneasy，butgohomeinpeace；getmereadysomethinghotforbreakfast，andwhileyouareonthewaysaytheprayerofSantaApollonia，thatisifyouknowit；forIwillcomepresentlyandyouwillseemiracles。“
“Woeisme，“criedthehousekeeper，“isittheprayerofSantaApolloniayouwouldhavemesay？Thatwoulddoifitwasthetoothachemymasterhad；butitisinthebrains，whathehasgot。“
“IknowwhatIamsaying，mistresshousekeeper；go，anddon\'tsetyourselftoarguewithme，foryouknowIamabachelorofSalamanca，andonecan\'tbemoreofabachelorthanthat，“repliedCarrasco；andwiththisthehousekeeperretired，andthebachelorwenttolookforthecurate，andarrangewithhimwhatwillbetoldinitsproperplace。
WhileDonQuixoteandSanchowereshutuptogether，theyhadadiscussionwhichthehistoryrecordswithgreatprecisionandscrupulousexactness。Sanchosaidtohismaster，“Senor，Ihaveeducedmywifetoletmegowithyourworshipwhereveryouchoosetotakeme。“
“Induced，youshouldsay，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote；“noteduced。“
“Onceortwice，aswellasIremember，“repliedSancho，“Ihavebeggedofyourworshipnottomendmywords，ifsobeasyouunderstandwhatImeanbythem；andifyoudon\'tunderstandthemtosay\'Sancho，\'or\'devil，\'\'Idon\'tunderstandthee；andifIdon\'tmakemymeaningplain，thenyoumaycorrectme，forIamsofocile-“
“Idon\'tunderstandthee，Sancho，“saidDonQuixoteatonce；“forIknownotwhat\'Iamsofocile\'means。“
“\'Sofocile\'meansIamsomuchthatway，“repliedSancho。
“Iunderstandtheestilllessnow，“saidDonQuixote。
“Well，ifyoucan\'tunderstandme，“saidSancho，“Idon\'tknowhowtoputit；Iknownomore，Godhelpme。“
“Oh，nowIhavehitit，“saidDonQuixote；“thouwouldstsaythouartsodocile，tractable，andgentlethatthouwilttakewhatIsaytothee，andsubmittowhatIteachthee。“
“Iwouldbet，“saidSancho，“thatfromtheveryfirstyouunderstoodme，andknewwhatImeant，butyouwantedtoputmeoutthatyoumighthearmemakeanothercoupleofdozenblunders。“
“Maybeso，“repliedDonQuixote；“buttocometothepoint，whatdoesTeresasay？”
“Teresasays，“repliedSancho，“thatIshouldmakesurewithyourworship，and\'letpapersspeakandbeardsbestill，\'for\'hewhobindsdoesnotwrangle，\'sinceone\'take\'isbetterthantwo\'I\'llgivethee\'s；\'andIsayawoman\'sadviceisnogreatthing，andhewhowon\'ttakeitisafool。“
“AndsosayI，“saidDonQuixote；“continue，Sanchomyfriend；goon；youtalkpearlsto-day。“
“Thefactis，“continuedSancho，“that，asyourworshipknowsbetterthanIdo，weareallofusliabletodeath，andto-dayweare，andto-morrowwearenot，andthelambgoesassoonasthesheep，andnobodycanpromisehimselfmorehoursoflifeinthisworldthanGodmaybepleasedtogivehim；fordeathisdeaf，andwhenitcomestoknockatourlife\'sdoor，itisalwaysurgent，andneitherprayers，norstruggles，norsceptres，normitres，cankeepitback，ascommontalkandreportsay，andastheytellusfromthepulpitseveryday。“
“Allthatisverytrue，“saidDonQuixote；“butIcannotmakeoutwhatthouartdrivingat。“
“WhatIamdrivingat，“saidSancho，“isthatyourworshipsettlesomefixedwagesforme，tobepaidmonthlywhileIaminyourservice，andthatthesamehepaidmeoutofyourestate；forI
don\'tcaretostandonrewardswhicheithercomelate，orill，orneveratall；Godhelpmewithmyown。Inshort，IwouldliketoknowwhatIamtoget，beitmuchorlittle；forthehenwilllayononeegg，andmanylittlesmakeamuch，andsolongasonegainssomethingthereisnothinglost。Tohesure，ifitshouldhappenwhatIneitherbelievenorexpectthatyourworshipweretogivemethatislandyouhavepromisedme，IamnotsoungratefulnorsograspingbutthatIwouldbewillingtohavetherevenueofsuchislandvaluedandstoppedoutofmywagesinduepromotion。“
“Sancho，myfriend，“repliedDonQuixote，“sometimesproportionmaybeasgoodaspromotion。“
“Isee，“saidSancho；“I\'llbetIoughttohavesaidproportion，andnotpromotion；butitisnomatter，asyourworshiphasunderstoodme。“
“Andsowellunderstood，“returnedDonQuixote，“thatIhaveseenintothedepthsofthythoughts，andknowthemarkthouartshootingatwiththecountlessshaftsofthyproverbs。Lookhere，Sancho，I
wouldreadilyfixthywagesifIhadeverfoundanyinstanceinthehistoriesoftheknights-erranttoshoworindicate，bytheslightesthint，whattheirsquiresusedtogetmonthlyoryearly；
butIhavereadallorthebestpartoftheirhistories，andI
cannotrememberreadingofanyknight-erranthavingassignedfixedwagestohissquire；Ionlyknowthattheyallservedonreward，andthatwhentheyleastexpectedit，ifgoodluckattendedtheirmasters，theyfoundthemselvesrecompensedwithanislandorsomethingequivalenttoit，orattheleasttheywereleftwithatitleandlordship。Ifwiththesehopesandadditionalinducementsyou，Sancho，pleasetoreturntomyservice，wellandgood；buttosupposethatIamgoingtodisturborunhingetheancientusageofknight-errantry，isallnonsense。Andso，mySancho，getyoubacktoyourhouseandexplainmyintentionstoyourTeresa，andifshelikesandyouliketobeonrewardwithme，benequidem；ifnot，weremainfriends；forifthepigeon-housedoesnotlackfood，itwillnotlackpigeons；andbearinmind，myson，thatagoodhopeisbetterthanabadholding，andagoodgrievancebetterthanabadcompensation。Ispeakinthisway，Sancho，toshowyouthatIcanshowerdownproverbsjustaswellasyourself；andinshort，Imeantosay，andIdosay，thatifyoudon\'tliketocomeonrewardwithme，andrunthesamechancethatIrun，Godbewithyouandmakeasaintofyou；forIshallfindplentyofsquiresmoreobedientandpainstaking，andnotsothickheadedortalkativeasyouare。“
WhenSanchoheardhismaster\'sfirm，resolutelanguage，acloudcameovertheskywithhimandthewingsofhisheartdrooped，forhehadmadesurethathismasterwouldnotgowithouthimforallthewealthoftheworld；andashestoodtheredumbfounderedandmoody，SamsonCarrascocameinwiththehousekeeperandniece，whowereanxioustohearbywhatargumentshewasabouttodissuadetheirmasterfromgoingtoseekadventures。ThearchwagSamsoncameforward，andembracinghimashehaddonebefore，saidwithaloudvoice，“Oflowerofknight-errantry！Oshininglightofarms！OhonourandmirroroftheSpanishnation！mayGodAlmightyinhisinfinitepowergrantthatanypersonorpersons，whowouldimpedeorhinderthythirdsally，mayfindnowayoutofthelabyrinthoftheirschemes，noreveraccomplishwhattheymostdesire！”Andthen，turningtothehousekeeper，hesaid，“MistresshousekeepermayjustaswellgiveoversayingtheprayerofSantaApollonia，forIknowitisthepositivedeterminationofthespheresthatSenorDonQuixoteshallproceedtoputintoexecutionhisnewandloftydesigns；andIshouldlayaheavyburdenonmyconsciencedidInoturgeandpersuadethisknightnottokeepthemightofhisstrongarmandthevirtueofhisvaliantspiritanylongercurbedandchecked，forbyhisinactivityheisdefraudingtheworldoftheredressofwrongs，oftheprotectionoforphans，ofthehonourofvirgins，oftheaidofwidows，andofthesupportofwives，andothermattersofthiskindappertaining，belonging，properandpeculiartotheorderofknight-errantry。On，then，mylordDonQuixote，beautifulandbrave，letyourworshipandhighnesssetoutto-dayratherthanto-morrow；andifanythingbeneededfortheexecutionofyourpurpose，hereamIreadyinpersonandpursetosupplythewant；andwereitrequisitetoattendyourmagnificenceassquire，Ishouldesteemitthehappiestgoodfortune。“
Atthis，DonQuixote，turningtoSancho，said，“DidInottellthee，Sancho，therewouldbesquiresenoughandtospareforme？Seenowwhoofferstobecomeone；nolessthantheillustriousbachelorSamsonCarrasco，theperpetualjoyanddelightofthecourtsoftheSalamancanschools，soundinbody，discreet，patientunderheatorcold，hungerorthirst，withallthequalificationsrequisitetomakeaknight-errant\'ssquire！Butheavenforbidthat，togratifymyowninclination，Ishouldshakeorshatterthispillaroflettersandvesselofthesciences，andcutdownthistoweringpalmofthefairandliberalarts。LetthisnewSamsonremaininhisowncountry，and，bringinghonourtoit，bringhonouratthesametimeonthegreyheadsofhisvenerableparents；forIwillbecontentwithanysquirethatcomestohand，asSanchodoesnotdeigntoaccompanyme。“
“Idodeign，“saidSancho，deeplymovedandwithtearsinhiseyes；“itshallnotbesaidofme，mastermine，“hecontinued，“\'thebreadeatenandthecompanydispersed。\'Nay，Icomeofnoungratefulstock，foralltheworldknows，butparticularlymyowntown，whothePanzasfromwhomIamdescendedwere；and，whatismore，Iknowandhavelearned，bymanygoodwordsanddeeds，yourworship\'sdesiretoshowmefavour；andifIhavebeenbargainingmoreorlessaboutmywages，itwasonlytopleasemywife，who，whenshesetsherselftopressapoint，nohammerdrivesthehoopsofacaskasshedrivesonetodowhatshewants；but，afterall，amanmustbeaman，andawomanawoman；andasIamamananyhow，whichIcan\'tdeny，Iwillbeoneinmyownhousetoo，letwhowilltakeitamiss；
andsothere\'snothingmoretodobutforyourworshiptomakeyourwillwithitscodicilinsuchawaythatitcan\'tbeprovoked，andletussetoutatonce，tosaveSenorSamson\'ssoulfromsuffering，ashesayshisconscienceobligeshimtopersuadeyourworshiptosallyoutupontheworldathirdtime；soIofferagaintoserveyourworshipfaithfullyandloyally，aswellandbetterthanallthesquiresthatservedknights-errantintimespastorpresent。“
ThebachelorwasfilledwithamazementwhenheheardSancho\'sphraseologyandstyleoftalk，forthoughhehadreadthefirstpartofhismaster\'shistoryheneverthoughtthathecouldbesodrollashewastheredescribed；butnow，hearinghimtalkofa“willandcodicilthatcouldnotbeprovoked，“insteadof“willandcodicilthatcouldnotberevoked，“hebelievedallhehadreadofhim，andsethimdownasoneofthegreatestsimpletonsofmoderntimes；andhesaidtohimselfthattwosuchlunaticsasmasterandmantheworldhadneverseen。Infine，DonQuixoteandSanchoembracedoneanotherandmadefriends，andbytheadviceandwiththeapprovalofthegreatCarrasco，whowasnowtheiroracle，itwasarrangedthattheirdepartureshouldtakeplacethreedaysthence，bywhichtimetheycouldhaveallthatwasrequisiteforthejourneyready，andprocureaclosedhelmet，whichDonQuixotesaidhemustbyallmeanstake。
Samsonofferedhimone，asheknewafriendofhiswhohaditwouldnotrefuseittohim，thoughitwasmoredingywithrustandmildewthanbrightandcleanlikeburnishedsteel。
Thecurseswhichbothhousekeeperandniecepouredoutonthebachelorwerepastcounting；theytoretheirhair，theyclawedtheirfaces，andinthestyleofthehiredmournersthatwereonceinfashion，theyraisedalamentationoverthedepartureoftheirmasteranduncle，asifithadbeenhisdeath。Samson\'sintentioninpersuadinghimtosallyforthoncemorewastodowhatthehistoryrelatesfartheron；allbytheadviceofthecurateandbarber，withwhomhehadpreviouslydiscussedthesubject。Finally，then，duringthosethreedays，DonQuixoteandSanchoprovidedthemselveswithwhattheyconsiderednecessary，andSanchohavingpacifiedhiswife，andDonQuixotehisnieceandhousekeeper，atnightfall，unseenbyanyoneexceptthebachelor，whothoughtfittoaccompanythemhalfaleagueoutofthevillage，theysetoutforElToboso，DonQuixoteonhisgoodRocinanteandSanchoonhisoldDapple，hisalforjasfurnishedwithcertainmattersinthewayofvictuals，andhispursewithmoneythatDonQuixotegavehimtomeetemergencies。Samsonembracedhim，andentreatedhimtolethimhearofhisgoodorevilfortunes，sothathemightrejoiceovertheformerorcondolewithhimoverthelatter，asthelawsoffriendshiprequired。DonQuixotepromisedhimhewoulddoso，andSamsonreturnedtothevillage，andtheothertwotooktheroadforthegreatcityofElToboso。
CHAPTERVIII
WHEREINISRELATEDWHATBEFELLDONQUIXOTEONHISWAYTOSEEHIS
LADYDULCINEADELTOBOSO
“BLESSEDbeAllahtheall-powerful！”saysHameteBenengelionbeginningthiseighthchapter；“blessedbeAllah！”herepeatsthreetimes；andhesaysheuttersthesethanksgivingsatseeingthathehasnowgotDonQuixoteandSanchofairlyafield，andthatthereadersofhisdelightfulhistorymayreckonthattheachievementsandhumoursofDonQuixoteandhissquirearenowabouttobegin；andheurgesthemtoforgettheformerchivalriesoftheingeniousgentlemanandtofixtheireyesonthosethataretocome，whichnowbeginontheroadtoElToboso，astheothersbeganontheplainsofMontiel；norisitmuchthatheasksinconsiderationofallhepromises，andsohegoesontosay：
DonQuixoteandSanchowereleftalone，andthemomentSamsontookhisdeparture，Rocinantebegantoneigh，andDappletosigh，which，bybothknightandsquire，wasacceptedasagoodsignandaveryhappyomen；though，ifthetruthistobetold，thesighsandbraysofDapplewerelouderthantheneighingsofthehack，fromwhichSanchoinferredthathisgoodfortunewastoexceedandovertopthatofhismaster，building，perhaps，uponsomejudicialastrologythathemayhaveknown，thoughthehistorysaysnothingaboutit；allthatcanbesaidis，thatwhenhestumbledorfell，hewasheardtosayhewishedhehadnotcomeout，forbystumblingorfallingtherewasnothingtobegotbutadamagedshoeorabrokenrib；and，foolashewas，hewasnotmuchastrayinthis。
SaidDonQuixote，“Sancho，myfriend，nightisdrawingonuponusaswego，andmoredarklythanwillallowustoreachElTobosobydaylight；forthereIamresolvedtogobeforeIengageinanotheradventure，andthereIshallobtaintheblessingandgenerouspermissionofthepeerlessDulcinea，withwhichpermissionIexpectandfeelassuredthatIshallconcludeandbringtoahappyterminationeveryperilousadventure；fornothinginlifemakesknights-errantmorevalorousthanfindingthemselvesfavouredbytheirladies。“
“SoIbelieve，“repliedSancho；“butIthinkitwillbedifficultforyourworshiptospeakwithherorseeher，atanyratewhereyouwillbeabletoreceiveherblessing；unless，indeed，shethrowsitoverthewalloftheyardwhereIsawherthetimebefore，whenItookhertheletterthattoldofthefolliesandmadthingsyourworshipwasdoingintheheartofSierraMorena。“
“Didstthoutakethatforayardwall，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“whereoratwhichthousawestthatneversufficientlyextolledgraceandbeauty？Itmusthavebeenthegallery，corridor，orporticoofsomerichandroyalpalace。“
“Itmighthavebeenallthat，“returnedSancho，“buttomeitlookedlikeawall，unlessIamshortofmemory。“
“Atallevents，letusgothere，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote；“for，sothatIseeher，itisthesametomewhetheritbeoverawall，oratawindow，orthroughthechinkofadoor，orthegrateofagarden；
foranybeamofthesunofherbeautythatreachesmyeyeswillgivelighttomyreasonandstrengthtomyheart，sothatIshallbeunmatchedandunequalledinwisdomandvalour。“
“Well，totellthetruth，senor，“saidSancho，“whenIsawthatsunoftheladyDulcineadelToboso，itwasnotbrightenoughtothrowoutbeamsatall；itmusthavebeen，thatashergracewassiftingthatwheatItoldyouof，thethickdustsheraisedcamebeforeherfacelikeacloudanddimmedit。“
“What！dostthoustillpersist，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“insaying，thinking，believing，andmaintainingthatmyladyDulcineawassiftingwheat，thatbeinganoccupationandtaskentirelyatvariancewithwhatisandshouldbetheemploymentofpersonsofdistinction，whoareconstitutedandreservedforotheravocationsandpursuitsthatshowtheirrankabowshotoff？Thouhastforgotten，O
Sancho，thoselinesofourpoetwhereinhepaintsforushow，intheircrystalabodes，thosefournymphsemployedthemselveswhorosefromtheirlovedTagusandseatedthemselvesinaverdantmeadowtoembroiderthosetissueswhichtheingeniouspoettheredescribestous，howtheywereworkedandwovenwithgoldandsilkandpearls；
andsomethingofthissortmusthavebeentheemploymentofmyladywhenthousawesther，onlythatthespitewhichsomewickedenchanterseemstohaveagainsteverythingofminechangesallthosethingsthatgivemepleasure，andturnsthemintoshapesunliketheirown；andsoIfearthatinthathistoryofmyachievementswhichtheysayisnowinprint，ifhaplyitsauthorwassomesagewhoisanenemyofmine，hewillhaveputonethingforanother，minglingathousandlieswithonetruth，andamusinghimselfbyrelatingtransactionswhichhavenothingtodowiththesequenceofatruehistory。Oenvy，rootofallcountlessevils，andcankerwormofthevirtues！Allthevices，Sancho，bringsomekindofpleasurewiththem；
butenvybringsnothingbutirritation，bitterness，andrage。“
“SoIsaytoo，“repliedSancho；“andIsuspectinthatlegendorhistoryofusthatthebachelorSamsonCarrascotoldushesaw，myhonourgoesdraggedinthedirt，knockedabout，upanddown，sweepingthestreets，astheysay。Andyet，onthefaithofanhonestman，Ineverspokeillofanyenchanter，andIamnotsowelloffthatIamtobeenvied；tobesure，Iamrathersly，andIhaveacertainspiceoftherogueinme；butalliscoveredbythegreatcloakofmysimplicity，alwaysnaturalandneveracted；andifIhadnoothermeritsavethatIbelieve，asIalwaysdo，firmlyandtrulyinGod，andalltheholyRomanCatholicChurchholdsandbelieves，andthatIamamortalenemyoftheJews，thehistoriansoughttohavemercyonmeandtreatmewellintheirwritings。Butletthemsaywhattheylike；nakedwasIborn，nakedIfindmyself，Ineitherlosenorgain；nay，whileIseemyselfputintoabookandpassedonfromhandtohandovertheworld，Idon\'tcareafig，letthemsaywhattheylikeofme。“
“That，Sancho，“returnedDonQuixote，“remindsmeofwhathappenedtoafamouspoetofourownday，who，havingwrittenabittersatireagainstallthecourtesanladies，didnotinsertornameinitacertainladyofwhomitwasquestionablewhethershewasoneornot。
She，seeingshewasnotinthelistofthepoet，askedhimwhathehadseeninherthathedidnotincludeherinthenumberoftheothers，tellinghimhemustaddtohissatireandputherinthenewpart，orelselookoutfortheconsequences。Thepoetdidasshebadehim，andleftherwithoutashredofreputation，andshewassatisfiedbygettingfamethoughitwasinfamy。InkeepingwiththisiswhattheyrelateofthatshepherdwhosetfiretothefamoustempleofDiana，byreputeoneofthesevenwondersoftheworld，andburneditwiththesoleobjectofmakinghisnameliveinafterages；and，thoughitwasforbiddentonamehim，ormentionhisnamebywordofmouthorinwriting，lesttheobjectofhisambitionshouldbeattained，neverthelessitbecameknownthathewascalledErostratus。AndsomethingofthesamesortiswhathappenedinthecaseofthegreatemperorCharlesVandagentlemaninRome。TheemperorwasanxioustoseethatfamoustempleoftheRotunda，calledinancienttimesthetemple\'ofallthegods，\'butnow-a-days，byabetternomenclature，\'ofallthesaints，\'whichisthebestpreservedbuildingofallthoseofpaganconstructioninRome，andtheonewhichbestsustainsthereputationofmightyworksandmagnificenceofitsfounders。Itisintheformofahalforange，ofenormousdimensions，andwelllighted，thoughnolightpenetratesitsavethatwhichisadmittedbyawindow，orratherroundskylight，atthetop；anditwasfromthisthattheemperorexaminedthebuilding。A
Romangentlemanstoodbyhissideandexplainedtohimtheskilfulconstructionandingenuityofthevastfabricanditswonderfularchitecture，andwhentheyhadlefttheskylighthesaidtotheemperor，\'Athousandtimes，yourSacredMajesty，theimpulsecameuponmetoseizeyourMajestyinmyarmsandflingmyselfdownfromyonderskylight，soastoleavebehindmeintheworldanamethatwouldlastforever。\'\'Iamthankfultoyoufornotcarryingsuchanevilthoughtintoeffect，\'saidtheemperor，\'andIshallgiveyounoopportunityinfutureofagainputtingyourloyaltytothetest；
andIthereforeforbidyouevertospeaktomeortobewhereIam；
andhefollowedupthesewordsbybestowingaliberalbountyuponhim。
Mymeaningis，Sancho，thatthedesireofacquiringfameisaverypowerfulmotive。What，thinkestthou，wasitthatflungHoratiusinfullarmourdownfromthebridgeintothedepthsoftheTiber？WhatburnedthehandandarmofMutius？WhatimpelledCurtiustoplungeintothedeepburninggulfthatopenedinthemidstofRome？What，inoppositiontoalltheomensthatdeclaredagainsthim，madeJuliusCaesarcrosstheRubicon？Andtocometomoremodernexamples，whatscuttledtheships，andleftstrandedandcutoffthegallantSpaniardsunderthecommandofthemostcourteousCortesintheNewWorld？Alltheseandavarietyofothergreatexploitsare，wereandwillbe，theworkoffamethatmortalsdesireasarewardandaportionoftheimmortalitytheirfamousdeedsdeserve；thoughweCatholicChristiansandknights-errantlookmoretothatfutureglorythatiseverlastingintheetherealregionsofheaventhantothevanityofthefamethatistobeacquiredinthispresenttransitorylife；afamethat，howeverlongitmaylast，mustafterallendwiththeworlditself，whichhasitsownappointedend。Sothat，O
Sancho，inwhatwedowemustnotoverpasstheboundswhichtheChristianreligionweprofesshasassignedtous。Wehavetoslayprideingiants，envybygenerosityandnoblenessofheart，angerbycalmnessofdemeanourandequanimity，gluttonyandslothbythesparenessofourdietandthelengthofourvigils，lustandlewdnessbytheloyaltywepreservetothosewhomwehavemadethemistressesofourthoughts，indolencebytraversingtheworldinalldirectionsseekingopportunitiesofmakingourselves，besidesChristians，famousknights。Such，Sancho，arethemeansbywhichwereachthoseextremesofpraisethatfairfamecarrieswithit。“
“Allthatyourworshiphassaidsofar，“saidSancho，“Ihaveunderstoodquitewell；butstillIwouldbegladifyourworshipwoulddissolveadoubtforme，whichhasjustthisminutecomeintomymind。“
“Solve，thoumeanest，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote；“sayon，inGod\'sname，andIwillansweraswellasIcan。“
“Tellme，senor，“Sanchowentontosay，“thoseJulysorAugusts，andallthoseventurousknightsthatyousayarenowdead-wherearetheynow？”
“Theheathens，“repliedDonQuixote，“are，nodoubt，inhell；theChristians，iftheyweregoodChristians，areeitherinpurgatoryorinheaven。“
“Verygood，“saidSancho；“butnowIwanttoknow-thetombswherethebodiesofthosegreatlordsare，havetheysilverlampsbeforethem，orarethewallsoftheirchapelsornamentedwithcrutches，winding-sheets，tressesofhair，legsandeyesinwax？Orwhataretheyornamentedwith？”
TowhichDonQuixotemadeanswer：“Thetombsoftheheathensweregenerallysumptuoustemples；theashesofJuliusCaesar\'sbodywereplacedonthetopofastonepyramidofvastsize，whichtheynowcallinRomeSaintPeter\'sneedle。TheemperorHadrianhadforatombacastleaslargeasagood-sizedvillage，whichtheycalledtheMolesAdriani，andisnowthecastleofSt。AngeloinRome。ThequeenArtemisiaburiedherhusbandMausolusinatombwhichwasreckonedoneofthesevenwondersoftheworld；butnoneofthesetombs，orofthemanyothersoftheheathens，wereornamentedwithwinding-sheetsoranyofthoseotherofferingsandtokensthatshowthattheywhoareburiedtherearesaints。“
“That\'sthepointI\'mcomingto，“saidSancho；“andnowtellme，whichisthegreaterwork，tobringadeadmantolifeortokillagiant？”
“Theansweriseasy，“repliedDonQuixote；“itisagreaterworktobringtolifeadeadman。“
“NowIhavegotyou，“saidSancho；“inthatcasethefameofthemwhobringthedeadtolife，whogivesighttotheblind，curecripples，restorehealthtothesick，andbeforewhosetombstherearelampsburning，andwhosechapelsarefilledwithdevoutfolkontheirkneesadoringtheirrelicsbeabetterfameinthislifeandintheotherthanthatwhichalltheheathenemperorsandknights-errantthathaveeverbeenintheworldhaveleftormayleavebehindthem？”
“ThatIgrant，too，“saidDonQuixote。
“Thenthisfame，thesefavours，theseprivileges，orwhateveryoucallit，“saidSancho，“belongtothebodiesandrelicsofthesaintswho，withtheapprobationandpermissionofourholymotherChurch，havelamps，tapers，winding-sheets，crutches，pictures，eyesandlegs，bymeansofwhichtheyincreasedevotionandaddtotheirownChristianreputation。Kingscarrythebodiesorrelicsofsaintsontheirshoulders，andkissbitsoftheirbones，andenrichandadorntheiroratoriesandfavouritealtarswiththem。“
“Whatwouldstthouhavemeinferfromallthouhastsaid，Sancho？”
askedDonQuixote。
“Mymeaningis，“saidSancho，“letussetaboutbecomingsaints，andweshallobtainmorequicklythefairfamewearestrivingafter；
foryouknow，senor，yesterdayorthedaybeforeyesterdayforitissolatelyonemaysaysotheycanonisedandbeatifiedtwolittlebarefootfriars，anditisnowreckonedthegreatestgoodlucktokissortouchtheironchainswithwhichtheygirtandtorturedtheirbodies，andtheyareheldingreaterveneration，soitissaid，thantheswordofRolandinthearmouryofourlordtheKing，whomGodpreserve。Sothat，senor，itisbettertobeanhumblelittlefriarofnomatterwhatorder，thanavaliantknight-errant；withGodacoupleofdozenofpenancelashingsareofmoreavailthantwothousandlance-thrusts，betheygiventogiants，ormonsters，ordragons。“
“Allthatistrue，“returnedDonQuixote，“butwecannotallbefriars，andmanyarethewaysbywhichGodtakeshisowntoheaven；
chivalryisareligion，therearesaintedknightsinglory。“
“Yes，“saidSancho，“butIhaveheardsaythattherearemorefriarsinheaventhanknights-errant。“
“That，“saidDonQuixote，“isbecausethoseinreligiousordersaremorenumerousthanknights。“
“Theerrantsaremany，“saidSancho。
“Many，“repliedDonQuixote，“butfewtheywhodeservethenameofknights。“
Withthese，andotherdiscussionsofthesamesort，theypassedthatnightandthefollowingday，withoutanythingworthmentionhappeningtothem，whereatDonQuixotewasnotalittledejected；
butatlengththenextday，atdaybreak，theydescriedthegreatcityofElToboso，atthesightofwhichDonQuixote\'sspiritsroseandSancho\'sfell，forhedidnotknowDulcinea\'shouse，norinallhislifehadheeverseenher，anymorethanhismaster；sothattheywerebothuneasy，theonetoseeher，theotheratnothavingseenher，andSanchowasatalosstoknowwhathewastodowhenhismastersenthimtoElToboso。Intheend，DonQuixotemadeuphismindtoenterthecityatnightfall，andtheywaiteduntilthetimecameamongsomeoaktreesthatwerenearElToboso；andwhenthemomenttheyhadagreeduponarrived，theymadetheirentranceintothecity，wheresomethinghappenedthemthatmayfairlybecalledsomething。
CHAPTERIX
WHEREINISRELATEDWHATWILLBESEENTHERE
\'TWASattheverymidnighthour-moreorless-whenDonQuixoteandSanchoquittedthewoodandenteredElToboso。Thetownwasindeepsilence，foralltheinhabitantswereasleep，andstretchedonthebroadoftheirbacks，asthesayingis。Thenightwasdarkish，thoughSanchowouldhavebeengladhaditbeenquitedark，soastofindinthedarknessanexcuseforhisblundering。Allovertheplacenothingwastobeheardexceptthebarkingofdogs，whichdeafenedtheearsofDonQuixoteandtroubledtheheartofSancho。Nowandthenanassbrayed，pigsgrunted，catsmewed，andthevariousnoisestheymadeseemedlouderinthesilenceofthenight；allwhichtheenamouredknighttooktobeofevilomen；neverthelesshesaidtoSancho，“Sancho，myson，leadontothepalaceofDulcinea，itmaybethatweshallfindherawake。“
“Bodyofthesun！whatpalaceamItoleadto，“saidSancho，“whenwhatIsawherhighnessinwasonlyaverylittlehouse？”
“Mostlikelyshehadthenwithdrawnintosomesmallapartmentofherpalace，“saidDonQuixote，“toamuseherselfwithdamsels，asgreatladiesandprincessesareaccustomedtodo。“
“Senor，“saidSancho，“ifyourworshipwillhaveitinspiteofmethatthehouseofmyladyDulcineaisapalace，isthisanhour，thinkyou，tofindthedooropen；andwillitberightforustogoknockingtilltheyhearusandopenthedoor；makingadisturbanceandconfusionallthroughthehousehold？Arewegoing，doyoufancy，tothehouseofourwenches，likegallantswhocomeandknockandgoinatanyhour，howeverlateitmaybe？”
“Letusfirstofallfindoutthepalaceforcertain，“repliedDonQuixote，“andthenIwilltellthee，Sancho，whatwehadbestdo；
butlook，Sancho，foreitherIseebadly，orthatdarkmassthatoneseesfromhereshouldbeDulcinea\'spalace。“
“Thenletyourworshipleadtheway，“saidSancho，“perhapsitmaybeso；thoughIseeitwithmyeyesandtouchitwithmyhands，I\'llbelieveitasmuchasIbelieveitisdaylightnow。“
DonQuixotetookthelead，andhavinggoneamatteroftwohundredpaceshecameuponthemassthatproducedtheshade，andfounditwasagreattower，andthenheperceivedthatthebuildinginquestionwasnopalace，butthechiefchurchofthetown，andsaidhe，“It\'sthechurchwehavelitupon，Sancho。“
“SoIsee，“saidSancho，“andGodgrantwemaynotlightuponourgraves；itisnogoodsigntofindoneselfwanderinginagraveyardatthistimeofnight；andthat，aftermytellingyourworship，ifI
don\'tmistake，thatthehouseofthisladywillbeinanalleywithoutanoutlet。“
“ThecurseofGodontheeforablockhead！”saidDonQuixote；“wherehastthoueverheardofcastlesandroyalpalacesbeingbuiltinalleyswithoutanoutlet？”
“Senor，“repliedSancho，“everycountryhasawayofitsown；
perhapshereinElTobosoitisthewaytobuildpalacesandgrandbuildingsinalleys；soIentreatyourworshiptoletmesearchaboutamongthesestreetsoralleysbeforeme，andperhaps，insomecornerorother，Imaystumbleonthispalace-andIwishIsawthedogseatingitforleadingussuchadance。“
“Speakrespectfullyofwhatbelongstomylady，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote；“letuskeepthefeastinpeace，andnotthrowtheropeafterthebucket。“
“I\'llholdmytongue，“saidSancho，“buthowamItotakeitpatientlywhenyourworshipwantsme，withonlyonceseeingthehouseofourmistress，toknowalways，andfinditinthemiddleofthenight，whenyourworshipcan\'tfindit，whomusthaveseenitthousandsoftimes？”
“Thouwiltdrivemetodesperation，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote。“Lookhere，heretic，haveInottoldtheeathousandtimesthatIhaveneveronceinmylifeseenthepeerlessDulcineaorcrossedthethresholdofherpalace，andthatIamenamouredsolelybyhearsayandbythegreatreputationshebearsforbeautyanddiscretion？”
“Ihearitnow，“returnedSancho；“andImaytellyouthatifyouhavenotseenher，nomorehaveI。“
“Thatcannotbe，“saidDonQuixote，“for，atanyrate，thousaidst，onbringingbacktheanswertotheletterIsentbythee，thatthousawesthersiftingwheat。“
“Don\'tmindthat，senor，“saidSancho；“ImusttellyouthatmyseeingherandtheanswerIbroughtyoubackwerebyhearsaytoo，forIcannomoretellwhotheladyDulcineaisthanIcanhitthesky。“
“Sancho，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“therearetimesforjestsandtimeswhenjestsareoutofplace；ifItelltheethatIhaveneitherseennorspokentotheladyofmyheart，itisnoreasonwhythoushouldstsaythouhastnotspokentoherorseenher，whenthecontraryisthecase，asthouwellknowest。“
Whilethetwowereengagedinthisconversation，theyperceivedsomeonewithapairofmulesapproachingthespotwheretheystood，andfromthenoisetheploughmade，asitdraggedalongtheground，theyguessedhimtobesomelabourerwhohadgotupbeforedaybreaktogotohiswork，andsoitprovedtobe。Hecamealongsingingtheballadthatsays-
Illdidyefare，yemenofFrance，InRoncesvalleschase-
“MayIdie，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，whenheheardhim，“ifanygoodwillcometoustonight！Dostthounothearwhatthatclownissinging？”
“Ido，“saidSancho，“butwhathasRoncesvalleschasetodowithwhatwehaveinhand？HemightjustaswellbesingingtheballadofCalainos，foranygoodorillthatcancometousinourbusiness。“
Bythistimethelabourerhadcomeup，andDonQuixoteaskedhim，“Canyoutellme，worthyfriend，andGodspeedyou，whereaboutshereisthepalaceofthepeerlessprincessDonaDulcineadelToboso？”
“Senor，“repliedthelad，“Iamastranger，andIhavebeenonlyafewdaysinthetown，doingfarmworkforarichfarmer。Inthathouseoppositetherelivethecurateofthevillageandthesacristan，andbothoreitherofthemwillbeabletogiveyourworshipsomeaccountofthisladyprincess，fortheyhavealistofallthepeopleofElToboso；thoughitismybeliefthereisnotaprincesslivinginthewholeofit；manyladiesthereare，ofquality，andinherownhouseeachofthemmaybeaprincess。“
“Well，then，sheIaminquiringforwillbeoneofthese，myfriend，“saidDonQuixote。
“Maybeso，“repliedthelad；“Godbewithyou，forherecomesthedaylight；“andwithoutwaitingforanymoreofhisquestions，hewhippedonhismules。
Sancho，seeinghismasterdowncastandsomewhatdissatisfied，saidtohim，“Senor，daylightwillbeherebeforelong，anditwillnotdoforustoletthesunfindusinthestreet；itwillbebetterforustoquitthecity，andforyourworshiptohideinsomeforestintheneighbourhood，andIwillcomebackinthedaytime，andIwon\'tleaveanookorcornerofthewholevillagethatIwon\'tsearchforthehouse，castle，orpalace，ofmylady，anditwillbehardluckformeifIdon\'tfindit；andassoonasIhavefounditIwillspeaktohergrace，andtellherwhereandhowyourworshipiswaitingforhertoarrangesomeplanforyoutoseeherwithoutanydamagetoherhonourandreputation。“
“Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“thouhastdeliveredathousandsentencescondensedinthecompassofafewwords；Ithanktheefortheadvicethouhastgivenme，andtakeitmostgladly。Come，myson，letusgolookforsomeplacewhereImayhide，whilethoudostreturn，asthousayest，toseek，andspeakwithmylady，fromwhosediscretionandcourtesyIlookforfavoursmorethanmiraculous。“
Sanchowasinafevertogethismasteroutofthetown，lestheshoulddiscoverthefalsehoodofthereplyhehadbroughttohimintheSierraMorenaonbehalfofDulcinea；sohehastenedtheirdeparture，whichtheytookatonce，andtwomilesoutofthevillagetheyfoundaforestorthicketwhereinDonQuixoteensconcedhimself，whileSanchoreturnedtothecitytospeaktoDulcinea，inwhichembassythingsbefellhimwhichdemandfreshattentionandanewchapter。
CHAPTERX
WHEREINISRELATEDTHECRAFTYDEVICESANCHOADOPTEDTOENCHANTTHE
LADYDULCINEA，ANDOTHERINCIDENTSASLUDICROUSASTHEYARETRUE
WHENtheauthorofthisgreathistorycomestorelatewhatissetdowninthischapterhesayshewouldhavepreferredtopassitoverinsilence，fearingitwouldnothebelieved，becausehereDonQuixote\'smadnessreachestheconfinesofthegreatestthatcanbeconceived，andevengoesacoupleofbowshotsbeyondthegreatest。Butafterall，thoughstillunderthesamefearandapprehension，hehasrecordeditwithoutaddingtothestoryorleavingoutaparticleofthetruth，andentirelydisregardingthechargesoffalsehoodthatmightbebroughtagainsthim；andhewasright，forthetruthmayrunfinebutwillnotbreak，andalwaysrisesabovefalsehoodasoilabovewater；andso，goingonwithhisstory，hesaysthatassoonasDonQuixotehadensconcedhimselfintheforest，oakgrove，orwoodnearElToboso，hebadeSanchoreturntothecity，andnotcomeintohispresenceagainwithouthavingfirstspokenonhisbehalftohislady，andbeggedofherthatitmightbehergoodpleasuretopermitherselftobeseenbyherenslavedknight，anddeigntobestowherblessinguponhim，sothathemighttherebyhopeforahappyissueinallhisencountersanddifficultenterprises。Sanchoundertooktoexecutethetaskaccordingtotheinstructions，andtobringbackananswerasgoodastheonehebroughtbackbefore。
“Go，myson，“saidDonQuixote，“andbenotdazedwhenthoufindestthyselfexposedtothelightofthatsunofbeautythouartgoingtoseek。Happythou，aboveallthesquiresintheworld！Bearinmind，andletitnotescapethymemory，howshereceivesthee；ifshechangescolourwhilethouartgivinghermymessage；ifsheisagitatedanddisturbedathearingmyname；ifshecannotrestuponhercushion，shouldstthouhaplyfindherseatedinthesumptuousstatechamberpropertoherrank；andshouldshebestanding，observeifshepoisesherselfnowononefoot，nowontheother；ifsherepeatstwoorthreetimesthereplyshegivesthee；ifshepassesfromgentlenesstoausterity，fromasperitytotenderness；ifsheraisesherhandtosmoothherhairthoughitbenotdisarranged。Inshort，myson，observeallheractionsandmotions，forifthouwiltreportthemtomeastheywere，Iwillgatherwhatshehidesintherecessesofherheartasregardsmylove；forIwouldhavetheeknow，Sancho，ifthouknowestitnot，thatwithloverstheoutwardactionsandmotionstheygivewaytowhentheirlovesareinquestionarethefaithfulmessengersthatcarrythenewsofwhatisgoingoninthedepthsoftheirhearts。Go，myfriend，maybetterfortunethanmineattendthee，andbringtheeahappierissuethanthatwhichIawaitindreadinthisdrearysolitude。“
“Iwillgoandreturnquickly，“saidSancho；“cheerupthatlittleheartofyours，mastermine，foratthepresentmomentyouseemtohavegotonenobiggerthanahazelnut；rememberwhattheysay，thatastoutheartbreaksbadluck，andthatwheretherearenofletchestherearenopegs；andmoreovertheysay，theharejumpsupwhereit\'snotlookedfor。Isaythisbecause，ifwecouldnotfindmylady\'spalacesorcastlesto-night，nowthatitisdaylightIcountuponfindingthemwhenIleastexpectit，andoncefound，leaveittometomanageher。“
“Verily，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“thoudostalwaysbringinthyproverbshappily，whateverwedealwith；mayGodgivemebetterluckinwhatIamanxiousabout。“
Withthis，SanchowheeledaboutandgaveDapplethestick，andDonQuixoteremainedbehind，seatedonhishorse，restinginhisstirrupsandleaningontheendofhislance，filledwithsadandtroubledforebodings；andtherewewillleavehim，andaccompanySancho，whowentoffnolessseriousandtroubledthanhelefthismaster；somuchso，thatassoonashehadgotoutofthethicket，andlookingroundsawthatDonQuixotewasnotwithinsight，hedismountedfromhisass，andseatinghimselfatthefootofatreebegantocommunewithhimself，saying，“Now，brotherSancho，letusknowwhereyourworshipisgoing。Areyougoingtolookforsomeassthathasbeenlost？Notatall。Thenwhatareyougoingtolookfor？Iamgoingtolookforaprincess，that\'sall；andinherforthesunofbeautyandthewholeheavenatonce。Andwheredoyouexpecttofindallthis，Sancho？Where？Why，inthegreatcityofElToboso。Well，andforwhomareyougoingtolookforher？ForthefamousknightDonQuixoteofLaMancha，whorightswrongs，givesfoodtothosewhothirstanddrinktothehungry。That\'sallverywell，butdoyouknowherhouse，Sancho？Mymastersaysitwillbesomeroyalpalaceorgrandcastle。Andhaveyoueverseenherbyanychance？NeitherI
normymastereversawher。AnddoesitstrikeyouthatitwouldbejustandrightiftheElTobosopeople，findingoutthatyouwereherewiththeintentionofgoingtotamperwiththeirprincessesandtroubletheirladies，weretocomeandcudgelyourribs，andnotleaveawholeboneinyou？Theywould，indeed，haveverygoodreason，iftheydidnotseethatIamunderorders，andthat\'youareamessenger，myfriend，noblamebelongstoyou。\'Don\'tyoutrusttothat，Sancho，fortheMancheganfolkareashot-temperedastheyarehonest，andwon\'tputupwithlibertiesfromanybody。BytheLord，iftheygetscentofyou，itwillbeworseforyou，Ipromiseyou。