CHAPTERXXVIII
Likeastrainofmusic，theeffectofKatharine\'spresenceslowlydiedfromtheroominwhichRalphsatalone。Themusichadceasedintheraptureofitsmelody。Hestrainedtocatchthefaintestlingeringechoes；foramomentthememorylulledhimintopeace；butsoonitfailed，andhepacedtheroomsohungryforthesoundtocomeagainthathewasconsciousofnootherdesireleftinlife。Shehadgonewithoutspeaking；abruptlyachasmhadbeencutinhiscourse，downwhichthetideofhisbeingplungedindisorder；felluponrocks；
flungitselftodestruction。Thedistresshadaneffectofphysicalruinanddisaster。Hetrembled；hewaswhite；hefeltexhausted，asifbyagreatphysicaleffort。Hesankatlastintoachairstandingoppositeheremptyone，andmarked，mechanically，withhiseyeupontheclock，howshewentfartherandfartherfromhim，washomenow，andnow，doubtless，againwithRodney。Butitwaslongbeforehecouldrealizethesefacts；theimmensedesireforherpresencechurnedhissensesintofoam，intofroth，intoahazeofemotionthatremovedallfactsfromhisgrasp，andgavehimastrangesenseofdistance，evenfromthematerialshapesofwallandwindowbywhichhewassurrounded。Theprospectofthefuture，nowthatthestrengthofhispassionwasrevealedtohim，appalledhim。
ThemarriagewouldtakeplaceinSeptember，shehadsaid；thatallowedhim，then，sixfullmonthsinwhichtoundergotheseterribleextremesofemotion。Sixmonthsoftorture，andafterthatthesilenceofthegrave，theisolationoftheinsane，theexileofthedamned；atbest，alifefromwhichthechiefgoodwasknowinglyandforeverexcluded。
Animpartialjudgemighthaveassuredhimthathischiefhopeofrecoverylayinthismystictemper，whichidentifiedalivingwomanwithmuchthatnohumanbeingslongpossessintheeyesofeachother；
shewouldpass，andthedesireforhervanish，buthisbeliefinwhatshestoodfor，detachedfromher，wouldremain。Thislineofthoughtoffered，perhaps，somerespite，andpossessedofabrainthathaditsstationconsiderablyabovethetumultofthesenses，hetriedtoreducethevagueandwanderingincoherencyofhisemotionstoorder。
Thesenseofself-preservationwasstronginhim，andKatharineherselfhadstrangelyreviveditbyconvincinghimthathisfamilydeservedandneededallhisstrength。Shewasright，andfortheirsake，ifnotforhisown，thispassion，whichcouldbearnofruit，mustbecutoff，uprooted，showntobeasvisionaryandbaselessasshehadmaintained。Thebestwayofachievingthiswasnottorunawayfromher，buttofaceher，andhavingsteepedhimselfinherqualities，toconvincehisreasonthattheywere，assheassuredhim，notthosethatheimagined。Shewasapracticalwoman，adomesticwifeforaninferiorpoet，endowedwithromanticbeautybysomefreakofunintelligentNature。Nodoubtherbeautyitselfwouldnotstandexamination。Hehadthemeansofsettlingthispointatleast。HepossessedabookofphotographsfromtheGreekstatues；theheadofagoddess，ifthelowerpartwereconcealed，hadoftengivenhimtheecstasyofbeinginKatharine\'spresence。Hetookitdownfromtheshelfandfoundthepicture。Tothisheaddedanotefromher，biddinghimmeetherattheZoo。HehadaflowerwhichhehadpickedatKewtoteachherbotany。Suchwerehisrelics。Heplacedthembeforehim，andsethimselftovisualizehersoclearlythatnodeceptionordelusionwaspossible。Inasecondhecouldseeher，withthesunslantingacrossherdress，comingtowardshimdownthegreenwalkatKew。Hemadehersitupontheseatbesidehim。Heheardhervoice，solowandyetsodecidedinitstone；shespokereasonablyofindifferentmatters。Hecouldseeherfaults，andanalyzehervirtues。Hispulsebecamequieter，andhisbrainincreasedinclarity。Thistimeshecouldnotescapehim。Theillusionofherpresencebecamemoreandmorecomplete。Theyseemedtopassinandoutofeachother\'sminds，questioningandanswering。Theutmostfullnessofcommunionseemedtobetheirs。Thusunited，hefelthimselfraisedtoaneminence，exalted，andfilledwithapowerofachievementsuchashehadneverknowninsingleness。Oncemorehetoldoverconscientiouslyherfaults，bothoffaceandcharacter；theywereclearlyknowntohim；
buttheymergedthemselvesintheflawlessunionthatwasbornoftheirassociation。Theysurveyedlifetoitsuttermostlimits。Howdeepitwaswhenlookedatfromthisheight！Howsublime！Howthecommonestthingsmovedhimalmosttotears！Thus，heforgottheinevitablelimitations；heforgotherabsence，hethoughtitofnoaccountwhethershemarriedhimoranother；nothingmattered，savethatsheshouldexist，andthatheshouldloveher。Somewordsofthesereflectionswereutteredaloud，andithappenedthatamongthemwerethewords，“Iloveher。“Itwasthefirsttimethathehadusedtheword“love“todescribehisfeeling；madness，romance，hallucination——hehadcalleditbythesenamesbefore；buthaving，apparentlybyaccident，stumbledupontheword“love，“herepeateditagainandagainwithasenseofrevelation。
“ButI\'minlovewithyou！“heexclaimed，withsomethinglikedismay。
Heleantagainstthewindow-sill，lookingoverthecityasshehadlooked。Everythinghadbecomemiraculouslydifferentandcompletelydistinct。Hisfeelingswerejustifiedandneedednofurtherexplanation。Buthemustimpartthemtosomeone，becausehisdiscoverywassoimportantthatitconcernedotherpeopletoo。
ShuttingthebookofGreekphotographs，andhidinghisrelics，herandownstairs，snatchedhiscoat，andpassedoutofdoors。
Thelampswerebeinglit，butthestreetsweredarkenoughandemptyenoughtolethimwalkhisfastest，andtotalkaloudashewalked。Hehadnodoubtwherehewasgoing。HewasgoingtofindMaryDatchet。
Thedesiretosharewhathefelt，withsomeonewhounderstoodit，wassoimperiousthathedidnotquestionit。Hewassooninherstreet。
Heranupthestairsleadingtoherflattwostepsatatime，anditnevercrossedhismindthatshemightnotbeathome。Asherangherbell，heseemedtohimselftobeannouncingthepresenceofsomethingwonderfulthatwasseparatefromhimself，andgavehimpowerandauthorityoverallotherpeople。Marycametothedoorafteramoment\'spause。Hewasperfectlysilent，andintheduskhisfacelookedcompletelywhite。Hefollowedherintoherroom。
“Doyouknoweachother？“shesaid，tohisextremesurprise，forhehadcountedonfindingheralone。Ayoungmanrose，andsaidthatheknewRalphbysight。
“Wewerejustgoingthroughsomepapers，“saidMary。“Mr。Basnetthastohelpme，becauseIdon\'tknowmuchaboutmyworkyet。It\'sthenewsociety，“sheexplained。“I\'mthesecretary。I\'mnolongeratRussellSquare。“
Thevoiceinwhichshegavethisinformationwassoconstrainedastosoundalmostharsh。
“Whatareyouraims？“saidRalph。HelookedneitheratMarynoratMr。
Basnett。Mr。BasnettthoughthehadseldomseenamoredisagreeableorformidablemanthanthisfriendofMary\'s，thissarcastic-looking，white-facedMr。Denham，whoseemedtodemand，asifbyright，anaccountoftheirproposals，andtocriticizethembeforehehadheardthem。Nevertheless，heexplainedhisprojectsasclearlyashecould，andknewthathewishedMr。Denhamtothinkwellofthem。
“Isee，“saidRalph，whenhehaddone。“D\'youknow，Mary，“hesuddenlyremarked，“IbelieveI\'minforacold。Haveyouanyquinine？“Thelookwhichhecastatherfrightenedher；itexpressedmutely，perhapswithouthisownconsciousness，somethingdeep，wild，andpassionate。
Shelefttheroomatonce。HerheartbeatfastattheknowledgeofRalph\'spresence；butitbeatwithpain，andwithanextraordinaryfear。Shestoodlisteningforamomenttothevoicesinthenextroom。
“Ofcourse，Iagreewithyou，“sheheardRalphsay，inthisstrangevoice，toMr。Basnett。“Butthere\'smorethatmightbedone。HaveyouseenJudson，forinstance？Youshouldmakeapointofgettinghim。“
Maryreturnedwiththequinine。
“Judson\'saddress？“Mr。Basnettinquired，pullingouthisnotebookandpreparingtowrite。Fortwentyminutes，perhaps，hewrotedownnames，addresses，andothersuggestionsthatRalphdictatedtohim。Then，whenRalphfellsilent，Mr。Basnettfeltthathispresencewasnotdesired，andthankingRalphforhishelp，withasensethathewasveryyoungandignorantcomparedwithhim，hesaidgood-bye。
“Mary，“saidRalph，directlyMr。Basnetthadshutthedoorandtheywerealonetogether。“Mary，“herepeated。ButtheolddifficultyofspeakingtoMarywithoutreservepreventedhimfromcontinuing。HisdesiretoproclaimhisloveforKatharinewasstillstronginhim，buthehadfelt，directlyhesawMary，thathecouldnotshareitwithher。ThefeelingincreasedashesattalkingtoMr。Basnett。AndyetallthetimehewasthinkingofKatharine，andmarvelingathislove。
ThetoneinwhichhespokeMary\'snamewasharsh。
“Whatisit，Ralph？“sheasked，startledbyhistone。Shelookedathimanxiously，andherlittlefrownshowedthatshewastryingpainfullytounderstandhim，andwaspuzzled。Hecouldfeelhergropingforhismeaning，andhewasannoyedwithher，andthoughthowhehadalwaysfoundherslow，painstaking，andclumsy。Hehadbehavedbadlytoher，too，whichmadehisirritationthemoreacute。Withoutwaitingforhimtoanswer，sheroseasifhisanswerwereindifferenttoher，andbegantoputinordersomepapersthatMr。Basnetthadleftonthetable。Shehummedascrapofatuneunderherbreath，andmovedabouttheroomasifshewereoccupiedinmakingthingstidy，andhadnootherconcern。
“You\'llstayanddine？“shesaidcasually，returningtoherseat。
“No，“Ralphreplied。Shedidnotpresshimfurther。Theysatsidebysidewithoutspeaking，andMaryreachedherhandforherworkbasket，andtookouthersewingandthreadedaneedle。
“That\'sacleveryoungman，“Ralphobserved，referringtoMr。Basnett。
“I\'mgladyouthoughtso。It\'stremendouslyinterestingwork，andconsideringeverything，Ithinkwe\'vedoneverywell。ButI\'minclinedtoagreewithyou；weoughttotrytobemoreconciliatory。We\'reabsurdlystrict。It\'sdifficulttoseethattheremaybesenseinwhatone\'sopponentssay，thoughtheyareone\'sopponents。HoraceBasnettiscertainlytoouncompromising。Imustn\'tforgettoseethathewritesthatlettertoJudson。You\'retoobusy，Isuppose，tocomeontoourcommittee？“Shespokeinthemostimpersonalmanner。
“Imaybeoutoftown，“Ralphreplied，withequaldistanceofmanner。
“Ourexecutivemeetseveryweek，ofcourse，“sheobserved。“Butsomeofourmembersdon\'tcomemorethanonceamonth。MembersofParliamentaretheworst；itwasamistake，Ithink，toaskthem。“
Shewentonsewinginsilence。
“You\'venottakenyourquinine，“shesaid，lookingupandseeingthetabloidsuponthemantelpiece。
“Idon\'twantit，“saidRalphshortly。
“Well，youknowbest，“sherepliedtranquilly。
“Mary，I\'mabrute！“heexclaimed。“HereIcomeandwasteyourtime，anddonothingbutmakemyselfdisagreeable。“
“Acoldcomingondoesmakeonefeelwretched，“shereplied。
“I\'venotgotacold。Thatwasalie。There\'snothingthematterwithme。I\'mmad，Isuppose。Ioughttohavehadthedecencytokeepaway。
ButIwantedtoseeyou——Iwantedtotellyou——I\'minlove，Mary。“Hespoketheword，but，ashespokeit，itseemedrobbedofsubstance。
“Inlove，areyou？“shesaidquietly。“I\'mglad，Ralph。“
“IsupposeI\'minlove。Anyhow，I\'moutofmymind。Ican\'tthink，I
can\'twork，Idon\'tcareahangforanythingintheworld。GoodHeavens，Mary！I\'mintorment！OnemomentI\'mhappy；nextI\'mmiserable。Ihateherforhalfanhour；thenI\'dgivemywholelifetobewithherfortenminutes；allthetimeIdon\'tknowwhatIfeel，orwhyIfeelit；it\'sinsanity，andyetit\'sperfectlyreasonable。Canyoumakeanysenseofit？Canyouseewhat\'shappened？I\'mraving，I
know；don\'tlisten，Mary；goonwithyourwork。“
Heroseandbegan，asusual，topaceupanddowntheroom。Heknewthatwhathehadjustsaidboreverylittleresemblancetowhathefelt，forMary\'spresenceacteduponhimlikeaverystrongmagnet，drawingfromhimcertainexpressionswhichwerenotthosehemadeuseofwhenhespoketohimself，nordidtheyrepresenthisdeepestfeelings。Hefeltalittlecontemptforhimselfathavingspokenthus；
butsomehowhehadbeenforcedintospeech。
“Dositdown，“saidMarysuddenly。“Youmakemeso——“Shespokewithunusualirritability，andRalph，noticingitwithsurprise，satdownatonce。
“Youhaven\'ttoldmehername——you\'drathernot，Isuppose？“
“Hername？KatharineHilbery。“
“Butshe\'sengaged——“
“ToRodney。They\'retobemarriedinSeptember。“
“Isee，“saidMary。Butintruththecalmofhismanner，nowthathewassittingdownoncemore，wraptherinthepresenceofsomethingwhichshefelttobesostrong，somysterious，soincalculable，thatshescarcelydaredtoattempttointerceptitbyanywordorquestionthatshewasabletoframe。ShelookedatRalphblankly，withakindofaweinherface，herlipsslightlyparted，andherbrowsraised。Hewasapparentlyquiteunconsciousofhergaze。Then，asifshecouldlooknolonger，sheleantbackinherchair，andhalfclosedhereyes。
Thedistancebetweenthemhurtherterribly；onethingafteranothercameintohermind，temptinghertoassailRalphwithquestions，toforcehimtoconfideinher，andtoenjoyoncemorehisintimacy。Butsherejectedeveryimpulse，forshecouldnotspeakwithoutdoingviolencetosomereservewhichhadgrownbetweenthem，puttingthemalittlefarfromeachother，sothatheseemedtoherdignifiedandremote，likeapersonshenolongerknewwell。
“IsthereanythingthatIcoulddoforyou？“sheaskedgently，andevenwithcourtesy，atlength。
“Youcouldseeher——no，that\'snotwhatIwant；youmustn\'tbotheraboutme，Mary。“He，too，spokeverygently。
“I\'mafraidnothirdpersoncandoanythingtohelp，“sheadded。
“No，“heshookhishead。“Katharinewassayingto-dayhowlonelyweare。“ShesawtheeffortwithwhichhespokeKatharine\'sname，andbelievedthatheforcedhimselftomakeamendsnowforhisconcealmentinthepast。Atanyrate，shewasconsciousofnoangeragainsthim；
butratherofadeeppityforonecondemnedtosufferasshehadsuffered。ButinthecaseofKatharineitwasdifferent；shewasindignantwithKatharine。
“There\'salwayswork，“shesaid，alittleaggressively。
Ralphmoveddirectly。
“Doyouwanttobeworkingnow？“heasked。
“No，no。It\'sSunday，“shereplied。“IwasthinkingofKatharine。Shedoesn\'tunderstandaboutwork。She\'sneverhadto。Shedoesn\'tknowwhatworkis。I\'veonlyfoundoutmyselfquitelately。Butit\'sthethingthatsavesone——I\'msureofthat。“
“Thereareotherthings，aren\'tthere？“hehesitated。
“Nothingthatonecancountupon，“shereturned。“Afterall，otherpeople——“shestopped，butforcedherselftogoon。“WhereshouldIbenowifIhadn\'tgottogotomyofficeeveryday？Thousandsofpeoplewouldtellyouthesamething——thousandsofwomen。Itellyou，workistheonlythingthatsavedme，Ralph。“Hesethismouth，asifherwordsrainedblowsonhim；helookedasifhehadmadeuphismindtobearanythingshemightsay，insilence。Hehaddeservedit，andtherewouldbereliefinhavingtobearit。Butshebrokeoff，androseasiftofetchsomethingfromthenextroom。Beforeshereachedthedoorsheturnedback，andstoodfacinghim，self-possessed，andyetdefiantandformidableinhercomposure。
“It\'sallturnedoutsplendidlyforme，“shesaid。“Itwillforyou，too。I\'msureofthat。Because，afterall，Katharineisworthit。“
“Mary——！“heexclaimed。Butherheadwasturnedaway，andhecouldnotsaywhathewishedtosay。“Mary，you\'resplendid，“heconcluded。Shefacedhimashespoke，andgavehimherhand。Shehadsufferedandrelinquished，shehadseenherfutureturnedfromoneofinfinitepromisetooneofbarrenness，andyet，somehow，overwhatshescarcelyknew，andwithwhatresultsshecouldhardlyforetell，shehadconquered。WithRalph\'seyesuponher，smilingstraightbackathimserenelyandproudly，sheknew，forthefirsttime，thatshehadconquered。Shelethimkissherhand。
ThestreetswereemptyenoughonSundaynight，andiftheSabbath，andthedomesticamusementspropertotheSabbath，hadnotkeptpeopleindoors，ahighstrongwindmightveryprobablyhavedoneso。RalphDenhamwasawareofatumultinthestreetmuchinaccordancewithhisownsensations。Thegusts，sweepingalongtheStrand，seemedatthesametimetoblowaclearspaceacrosstheskyinwhichstarsappeared，andforashorttimethequicks-peedingsilvermoonridingthroughclouds，asiftheywerewavesofwatersurgingroundherandoverher。Theyswampedher，butsheemerged；theybrokeoverherandcoveredheragain；sheissuedforthindomitable。Inthecountryfieldsallthewreckageofwinterwasbeingdispersed；thedeadleaves，thewitheredbracken，thedryanddiscoloredgrass，butnobudwouldbebroken，norwouldthenewstalksthatshowedabovetheearthtakeanyharm，andperhapsto-morrowalineofblueoryellowwouldshowthroughaslitintheirgreen。ButthewhirloftheatmospherealonewasinDenham\'smood，andwhatofstarorblossomappearedwasonlyasalightgleamingforaseconduponheapedwavesfastfollowingeachother。HehadnotbeenabletospeaktoMary，thoughforamomenthehadcomenearenoughtobetantalizedbyawonderfulpossibilityofunderstanding。Butthedesiretocommunicatesomethingoftheverygreatestimportancepossessedhimcompletely；hestillwishedtobestowthisgiftuponsomeotherhumanbeing；hesoughttheircompany。
Morebyinstinctthanbyconsciouschoice，hetookthedirectionwhichledtoRodney\'srooms。Heknockedloudlyuponhisdoor；butnooneanswered。Herangthebell。IttookhimsometimetoacceptthefactthatRodneywasout。Whenhecouldnolongerpretendthatthesoundofthewindintheoldbuildingwasthesoundofsomeonerisingfromhischair，herandownstairsagain，asifhisgoalhadbeenalteredandonlyjustrevealedtohim。HewalkedinthedirectionofChelsea。
Butphysicalfatigue，forhehadnotdinedandhadtrampedbothfarandfast，madehimsitforamomentuponaseatontheEmbankment。Oneoftheregularoccupantsofthoseseats，anelderlymanwhohaddrunkhimself，probably，outofworkandlodging，driftedup，beggedamatch，andsatdownbesidehim。Itwasawindynight，hesaid；timeswerehard；somelongstoryofbadluckandinjusticefollowed，toldsooftenthatthemanseemedtobetalkingtohimself，or，perhaps，theneglectofhisaudiencehadlongmadeanyattempttocatchtheirattentionseemscarcelyworthwhile。WhenhebegantospeakRalphhadawilddesiretotalktohim；toquestionhim；tomakehimunderstand。
Hedid，infact，interrupthimatonepoint；butitwasuseless。Theancientstoryoffailure，ill-luck，undeserveddisaster，wentdownthewind，disconnectedsyllablesflyingpastRalph\'searswithaqueeralternationofloudnessandfaintnessasif，atcertainmoments，theman\'smemoryofhiswrongsrevivedandthenflagged，dyingdownatlastintoagrumbleofresignation，whichseemedtorepresentafinallapseintotheaccustomeddespair。TheunhappyvoiceafflictedRalph，butitalsoangeredhim。Andwhentheelderlymanrefusedtolistenandmumbledon，anoddimagecametohismindofalighthousebesiegedbytheflyingbodiesoflostbirds，whoweredashedsenseless，bythegale，againsttheglass。Hehadastrangesensationthathewasbothlighthouseandbird；hewassteadfastandbrilliant；andatthesametimehewaswhirled，withallotherthings，senselessagainsttheglass。Hegotup，lefthistributeofsilver，andpressedon，withthewindagainsthim。Theimageofthelighthouseandthestormfullofbirdspersisted，takingtheplaceofmoredefinitethoughts，ashewalkedpasttheHousesofParliamentanddownGrosvenorRoad，bythesideoftheriver。Inhisstateofphysicalfatigue，detailsmergedthemselvesinthevasterprospect，ofwhichtheflyinggloomandtheintermittentlightsoflamp-postsandprivatehousesweretheoutwardtoken，butheneverlosthissenseofwalkinginthedirectionofKatharine\'shouse。Hetookitforgrantedthatsomethingwouldthenhappen，and，ashewalkedon，hismindbecamemoreandmorefullofpleasureandexpectancy。Withinacertainradiusofherhousethestreetscameundertheinfluenceofherpresence。EachhousehadanindividualityknowntoRalph，becauseofthetremendousindividualityofthehouseinwhichshelived。ForsomeyardsbeforereachingtheHilberys\'doorhewalkedinatranceofpleasure，butwhenhereachedit，andpushedthegateofthelittlegardenopen，hehesitated。Hedidnotknowwhattodonext。Therewasnohurry，however，fortheoutsideofthehouseheldpleasureenoughtolasthimsometimelonger。Hecrossedtheroad，andleantagainstthebalustradeoftheEmbankment，fixinghiseyesuponthehouse。
Lightsburntinthethreelongwindowsofthedrawing-room。Thespaceoftheroombehindbecame，inRalph\'svision，thecenterofthedark，flyingwildernessoftheworld；thejustificationforthewelterofconfusionsurroundingit；thesteadylightwhichcastitsbeams，likethoseofalighthouse，withsearchingcomposureoverthetracklesswaste。Inthislittlesanctuaryweregatheredtogetherseveraldifferentpeople，buttheiridentitywasdissolvedinageneralgloryofsomethingthatmight，perhaps，becalledcivilization；atanyrate，alldryness，allsafety，allthatstoodupabovethesurgeandpreservedaconsciousnessofitsown，wascenteredinthedrawing-roomoftheHilberys。Itspurposewasbeneficent；andyetsofarabovehislevelastohavesomethingaustereaboutit，alightthatcastitselfoutandyetkeptitselfaloof。Thenhebegan，inhismind，todistinguishdifferentindividualswithin，consciouslyrefusingasyettoattackthefigureofKatharine。HisthoughtslingeredoverMrs。
HilberyandCassandra；andthenheturnedtoRodneyandMr。Hilbery。
Physically，hesawthembathedinthatsteadyflowofyellowlightwhichfilledthelongoblongsofthewindows；intheirmovementstheywerebeautiful；andintheirspeechhefiguredareserveofmeaning，unspoken，butunderstood。Atlength，afterallthishalf-consciousselectionandarrangement，heallowedhimselftoapproachthefigureofKatharineherself；andinstantlythescenewasfloodedwithexcitement。Hedidnotseeherinthebody；heseemedcuriouslytoseeherasashapeoflight，thelightitself；heseemed，simplifiedandexhaustedashewas，tobelikeoneofthoselostbirdsfascinatedbythelighthouseandheldtotheglassbythesplendoroftheblaze。
ThesethoughtsdrovehimtotrampabeatupanddownthepavementbeforetheHilberys\'gate。Hedidnottroublehimselftomakeanyplansforthefuture。Somethingofanunknownkindwoulddecideboththecomingyearandthecominghour。Nowandagain，inhisvigil，hesoughtthelightinthelongwindows，orglancedattheraywhichgildedafewleavesandafewbladesofgrassinthelittlegarden。
Foralongtimethelightburntwithoutchanging。Hehadjustreachedthelimitofhisbeatandwasturning，whenthefrontdooropened，andtheaspectofthehousewasentirelychanged。Ablackfigurecamedownthelittlepathwayandpausedatthegate。DenhamunderstoodinstantlythatitwasRodney。Withouthesitation，andconsciousonlyofagreatfriendlinessforanyonecomingfromthatlightedroom，hewalkedstraightuptohimandstoppedhim。IntheflurryofthewindRodneywastakenaback，andforthemomenttriedtopresson，mutteringsomething，asifhesuspectedademanduponhischarity。
“Goodness，Denham，whatareyoudoinghere？“heexclaimed，recognizinghim。
Ralphmumbledsomethingaboutbeingonhiswayhome。Theywalkedontogether，thoughRodneywalkedquickenoughtomakeitplainthathehadnowishforcompany。
Hewasveryunhappy。ThatafternoonCassandrahadrepulsedhim；hehadtriedtoexplaintoherthedifficultiesofthesituation，andtosuggestthenatureofhisfeelingsforherwithoutsayinganythingdefiniteoranythingoffensivetoher。Buthehadlosthishead；underthegoadofKatharine\'sridiculehehadsaidtoomuch，andCassandra，superbinherdignityandseverity，hadrefusedtohearanotherword，andthreatenedanimmediatereturntoherhome。Hisagitation，afteraneveningspentbetweenthetwowomen，wasextreme。Moreover，hecouldnothelpsuspectingthatRalphwaswanderingneartheHilberys\'
house，atthishour，forreasonsconnectedwithKatharine。Therewasprobablysomeunderstandingbetweenthem——notthatanythingofthekindmatteredtohimnow。HewasconvincedthathehadnevercaredforanyonesaveCassandra，andKatharine\'sfuturewasnoconcernofhis。
Aloud，hesaid，shortly，thathewasverytiredandwishedtofindacab。ButonSundaynight，ontheEmbankment，cabswerehardtocomeby，andRodneyfoundhimselfconstrainedtowalksomedistance，atanyrate，inDenham\'scompany。Denhammaintainedhissilence。Rodney\'sirritationlapsed。Hefoundthesilenceoddlysuggestiveofthegoodmasculinequalitieswhichhemuchrespected，andhadatthismomentgreatreasontoneed。Afterthemystery，difficulty，anduncertaintyofdealingwiththeothersex，intercoursewithone\'sownisapttohaveacomposingandevenennoblinginfluence，sinceplainspeakingispossibleandsubterfugesofnoavail。Rodney，too，wasmuchinneedofaconfidant；Katharine，despiteherpromisesofhelp，hadfailedhimatthecriticalmoment；shehadgoneoffwithDenham；shewas，perhaps，tormentingDenhamasshehadtormentedhim。Howgraveandstableheseemed，speakinglittle，andwalkingfirmly，comparedwithwhatRodneyknewofhisowntormentsandindecisions！HebegantocastaboutforsomewayoftellingthestoryofhisrelationswithKatharineandCassandrathatwouldnotlowerhiminDenham\'seyes。Itthenoccurredtohimthat，perhaps，KatharineherselfhadconfidedinDenham；theyhadsomethingincommon；itwaslikelythattheyhaddiscussedhimthatveryafternoon。Thedesiretodiscoverwhattheyhadsaidofhimnowcameuppermostinhismind。HerecalledKatharine\'slaugh；herememberedthatshehadgone，laughing，towalkwithDenham。
“Didyoustaylongafterwe\'dleft？“heaskedabruptly。
“No。Wewentbacktomyhouse。“
ThisseemedtoconfirmRodney\'sbeliefthathehadbeendiscussed。Heturnedovertheunpalatableideaforawhile，insilence。
“Womenareincomprehensiblecreatures，Denham！“hethenexclaimed。
“Um，“saidDenham，whoseemedtohimselfpossessedofcompleteunderstanding，notmerelyofwomen，butoftheentireuniverse。HecouldreadRodney，too，likeabook。Heknewthathewasunhappy，andhepitiedhim，andwishedtohelphim。
“Yousaysomethingandthey——flyintoapassion。Orfornoreasonatall，theylaugh。Itakeitthatnoamountofeducationwill——“Theremainderofthesentencewaslostinthehighwind，againstwhichtheyhadtostruggle；butDenhamunderstoodthathereferredtoKatharine\'slaughter，andthatthememoryofitwasstillhurtinghim。
IncomparisonwithRodney，Denhamfelthimselfverysecure；hesawRodneyasoneofthelostbirdsdashedsenselessagainsttheglass；
oneoftheflyingbodiesofwhichtheairwasfull。ButheandKatharinewerealonetogether，aloft，splendid，andluminouswithatwofoldradiance。Hepitiedtheunstablecreaturebesidehim；hefeltadesiretoprotecthim，exposedwithouttheknowledgewhichmadehisownwaysodirect。Theywereunitedastheadventurousareunited，thoughonereachesthegoalandtheotherperishesbytheway。
“Youcouldn\'tlaughatsomeoneyoucaredfor。“
Thissentence，apparentlyaddressedtonootherhumanbeing，reachedDenham\'sears。Thewindseemedtomuffleitandflyawaywithitdirectly。HadRodneyspokenthosewords？
“Youloveher。“Wasthathisownvoice，whichseemedtosoundintheairseveralyardsinfrontofhim？
“I\'vesufferedtortures，Denham，tortures！“
“Yes，yes，Iknowthat。“
“She\'slaughedatme。“
“Never——tome。“
Thewindblewaspacebetweenthewords——blewthemsofarawaythattheyseemedunspoken。
“HowI\'velovedher！“
ThiswascertainlyspokenbythemanatDenham\'sside。ThevoicehadallthemarksofRodney\'scharacter，andrecalled，with；strangevividness，hispersonalappearance。Denhamcouldseehimagainsttheblankbuildingsandtowersofthehorizon。Hesawhimdignified，exalted，andtragic，ashemighthaveappearedthinkingofKatharinealoneinhisroomsatnight。
“IaminlovewithKatharinemyself。ThatiswhyIamhereto-night。“
Ralphspokedistinctlyanddeliberately，asifRodney\'sconfessionhadmadethisstatementnecessary。
Rodneyexclaimedsomethinginarticulate。
“Ah，I\'vealwaysknownit，“hecried，“I\'veknownitfromthefirst。
You\'llmarryher！“
Thecryhadanoteofdespairinit。Againthewindinterceptedtheirwords。Theysaidnomore。Atlengththeydrewupbeneathalamp-post，simultaneously。
“MyGod，Denham，whatfoolswebothare！“Rodneyexclaimed。Theylookedateachother，queerly，inthelightofthelamp。Fools！Theyseemedtoconfesstoeachothertheextremedepthsoftheirfolly。Forthemoment，underthelamp-post，theyseemedtobeawareofsomecommonknowledgewhichdidawaywiththepossibilityofrivalry，andmadethemfeelmoresympathyforeachotherthanforanyoneelseintheworld。Givingsimultaneouslyalittlenod，asifinconfirmationofthisunderstanding，theypartedwithoutspeakingagain。
CHAPTERXXIX
BetweentwelveandonethatSundaynightKatharinelayinbed，notasleep，butinthattwilightregionwhereadetachedandhumorousviewofourownlotispossible；orifwemustbeserious，ourseriousnessistemperedbytheswiftoncomeofslumberandoblivion。ShesawtheformsofRalph，William，Cassandra，andherself，asiftheywereallequallyunsubstantial，and，inputtingoffreality，hadgainedakindofdignitywhichresteduponeachimpartially。Thusridofanyuncomfortablewarmthofpartisanshiporloadofobligation，shewasdroppingofftosleepwhenalighttapsoundeduponherdoor。AmomentlaterCassandrastoodbesideher，holdingacandleandspeakinginthelowtonespropertothetimeofnight。
“Areyouawake，Katharine？“
“Yes，I\'mawake。Whatisit？“
Sherousedherself，satup，andaskedwhatinHeaven\'snameCassandrawasdoing？
“Icouldn\'tsleep，andIthoughtI\'dcomeandspeaktoyou——onlyforamoment，though。I\'mgoinghometo-morrow。“
“Home？Why，whathashappened？“
“Somethinghappenedto-daywhichmakesitimpossibleformetostayhere。“
Cassandraspokeformally，almostsolemnly；theannouncementwasclearlypreparedandmarkedacrisisoftheutmostgravity。Shecontinuedwhatseemedtobepartofasetspeech。
“Ihavedecidedtotellyouthewholetruth，Katharine。Williamallowedhimselftobehaveinawaywhichmademeextremelyuncomfortableto-day。“
Katharineseemedtowakencompletely，andatoncetobeincontrolofherself。
“AttheZoo？“sheasked。
“No，onthewayhome。Whenwehadtea。“
Asifforeseeingthattheinterviewmightbelong，andthenightchilly，KatharineadvisedCassandratowrapherselfinaquilt。
Cassandradidsowithunbrokensolemnity。
“There\'satrainateleven，“shesaid。“IshalltellAuntMaggiethatIhavetogosuddenly……IshallmakeViolet\'svisitanexcuse。
But，afterthinkingitover，Idon\'tseehowIcangowithouttellingyouthetruth。“
ShewascarefultoabstainfromlookinginKatharine\'sdirection。
Therewasaslightpause。
“ButIdon\'tseetheleastreasonwhyyoushouldgo，“saidKatharineeventually。HervoicesoundedsoastonishinglyequablethatCassandraglancedather。Itwasimpossibletosupposethatshewaseitherindignantorsurprised；sheseemed，onthecontrary，sittingupinbed，withherarmsclaspedroundherkneesandalittlefrownonherbrow，tobethinkingcloselyuponamatterofindifferencetoher。
“BecauseIcan\'tallowanymantobehavetomeinthatway，“Cassandrareplied，andsheadded，“particularlywhenIknowthatheisengagedtosomeoneelse。“
“Butyoulikehim，don\'tyou？“Katharineinquired。
“That\'sgotnothingtodowithit，“Cassandraexclaimedindignantly。
“Iconsiderhisconduct，underthecircumstances，mostdisgraceful。“
Thiswasthelastofthesentencesofherpremeditatedspeech；andhavingspokenitshewasleftunprovidedwithanymoretosayinthatparticularstyle。WhenKatharineremarked:
“Ishouldsayithadeverythingtodowithit，“Cassandra\'sself-possessiondesertedher。
“Idon\'tunderstandyouintheleast，Katharine。Howcanyoubehaveasyoubehave？EversinceIcamehereI\'vebeenamazedbyyou！“
“You\'veenjoyedyourself，haven\'tyou？“Katharineasked。
“Yes，Ihave，“Cassandraadmitted。
“Anyhow，mybehaviorhasn\'tspoiledyourvisit。“
“No，“Cassandraallowedoncemore。Shewascompletelyataloss。InherforecastoftheinterviewshehadtakenitforgrantedthatKatharine，afteranoutburstofincredulity，wouldagreethatCassandramustreturnhomeassoonaspossible。ButKatharine，onthecontrary，acceptedherstatementatonce，seemedneithershockednorsurprised，andmerelylookedrathermorethoughtfulthanusual。Frombeingamaturewomanchargedwithanimportantmission，Cassandrashrunktothestatureofaninexperiencedchild。
“DoyouthinkI\'vebeenveryfoolishaboutit？“sheasked。
Katharinemadenoanswer，butstillsatdeliberatingsilently，andacertainfeelingofalarmtookpossessionofCassandra。Perhapsherwordshadstruckfardeeperthanshehadthought，intodepthsbeyondherreach，assomuchofKatharinewasbeyondherreach。Shethoughtsuddenlythatshehadbeenplayingwithverydangeroustools。
Lookingatheratlength，Katharineaskedslowly，asifshefoundthequestionverydifficulttoask。
“ButdoyoucareforWilliam？“
Shemarkedtheagitationandbewildermentofthegirl\'sexpression，andhowshelookedawayfromher。
“Doyoumean，amIinlovewithhim？“Cassandraasked，breathingquickly，andnervouslymovingherhands。
“Yes，inlovewithhim，“Katharinerepeated。
“HowcanIlovethemanyou\'reengagedtomarry？“Cassandraburstout。
“Hemaybeinlovewithyou。“
“Idon\'tthinkyou\'veanyrighttosaysuchthings，Katharine，“
Cassandraexclaimed。“Whydoyousaythem？Don\'tyoumindintheleasthowWilliambehavestootherwomen？IfIwereengaged，Icouldn\'tbearit！“
“We\'renotengaged，“saidKatharine，afterapause。
“Katharine！“Cassandracried。
“No，we\'renotengaged，“Katharinerepeated。“Butnooneknowsitbutourselves。“
“Butwhy——Idon\'tunderstand——you\'renotengaged！“Cassandrasaidagain。“Oh，thatexplainsit！You\'renotinlovewithhim！Youdon\'twanttomarryhim！“
“Wearen\'tinlovewitheachotheranylonger，“saidKatharine，asifdisposingofsomethingforeverandever。
“Howqueer，howstrange，howunlikeotherpeopleyouare，Katharine，“
Cassandrasaid，herwholebodyandvoiceseemingtofallandcollapsetogether，andnotraceofangerorexcitementremaining，butonlyadreamyquietude。
“You\'renotinlovewithhim？“
“ButIlovehim，“saidKatharine。
Cassandraremainedbowed，asifbytheweightoftherevelation，forsomelittlewhilelonger。NordidKatharinespeak。Herattitudewasthatofsomeonewhowishestobeconcealedasmuchaspossiblefromobservation。Shesighedprofoundly；shewasabsolutelysilent，andapparentlyovercomebyherthoughts。
“D\'youknowwhattimeitis？“shesaidatlength，andshookherpillow，asifmakingreadyforsleep。
Cassandraroseobediently，andoncemoretookuphercandle。Perhapsthewhitedressing-gown，andtheloosenedhair，andsomethingunseeingintheexpressionoftheeyesgaveheralikenesstoawomanwalkinginhersleep。Katharine，atleast，thoughtso。
“There\'snoreasonwhyIshouldgohome，then？“Cassandrasaid，pausing。“Unlessyouwantmetogo，Katharine？WhatDOyouwantmetodo？“
Forthefirsttimetheireyesmet。
“Youwantedustofallinlove，“Cassandraexclaimed，asifshereadthecertaintythere。Butasshelookedshesawasightthatsurprisedher。ThetearsroseslowlyinKatharine\'seyesandstoodthere，brimmingbutcontained——thetearsofsomeprofoundemotion，happiness，grief，renunciation；anemotionsocomplexinitsnaturethattoexpressitwasimpossible，andCassandra，bendingherheadandreceivingthetearsuponhercheek，acceptedtheminsilenceastheconsecrationofherlove。
“Please，miss，“saidthemaid，abouteleveno\'clockonthefollowingmorning，“Mrs。Milvainisinthekitchen。“
Alongwickerbasketofflowersandbrancheshadarrivedfromthecountry，andKatharine，kneelinguponthefloorofthedrawing-room，wassortingthemwhileCassandrawatchedherfromanarm-chair，andabsent-mindedlymadespasmodicoffersofhelpwhichwerenotaccepted。
Themaid\'smessagehadacuriouseffectuponKatharine。
Sherose，walkedtothewindow，and，themaidbeinggone，saidemphaticallyandeventragically:
“Youknowwhatthatmeans。“
Cassandrahadunderstoodnothing。
“AuntCeliaisinthekitchen，“Katharinerepeated。
“Whyinthekitchen？“Cassandraasked，notunnaturally。
“Probablybecauseshe\'sdiscoveredsomething，“Katharinereplied。
Cassandra\'sthoughtsflewtothesubjectofherpreoccupation。
“Aboutus？“sheinquired。
“Heavenknows，“Katharinereplied。“Ishan\'tletherstayinthekitchen，though。Ishallbringheruphere。“
ThesternnesswithwhichthiswassaidsuggestedthattobringAuntCeliaupstairswas，forsomereason，adisciplinarymeasure。
“Forgoodness\'sake，Katharine，“Cassandraexclaimed，jumpingfromherchairandshowingsignsofagitation，“don\'tberash。Don\'tlethersuspect。Remember，nothing\'scertain——“
Katharineassuredherbynoddingherheadseveraltimes，butthemannerinwhichshelefttheroomwasnotcalculatedtoinspirecompleteconfidenceinherdiplomacy。
Mrs。Milvainwassitting，orratherperching，upontheedgeofachairintheservants\'room。Whethertherewasanysoundreasonforherchoiceofasubterraneanchamber，orwhetheritcorrespondedwiththespiritofherquest，Mrs。Milvaininvariablycameinbythebackdoorandsatintheservants\'roomwhenshewasengagedinconfidentialfamilytransactions。TheostensiblereasonshegavewasthatneitherMr。norMrs。Hilberyshouldbedisturbed。But，intruth，Mrs。Milvaindependedevenmorethanmostelderlywomenofhergenerationuponthedeliciousemotionsofintimacy，agony，andsecrecy，andtheadditionalthrillprovidedbythebasementwasonenotlightlytobeforfeited。
SheprotestedalmostplaintivelywhenKatharineproposedtogoupstairs。
“I\'vesomethingthatIwanttosaytoyouinPRIVATE，“shesaid，hesitatingreluctantlyuponthethresholdofherambush。
“Thedrawing-roomisempty——“
“Butwemightmeetyourmotheruponthestairs。Wemightdisturbyourfather，“Mrs。Milvainobjected，takingtheprecautiontospeakinawhisperalready。
ButasKatharine\'spresencewasabsolutelynecessarytothesuccessoftheinterview，andasKatharineobstinatelyrecededupthekitchenstairs，Mrs。Milvainhadnocoursebuttofollowher。Sheglancedfurtivelyaboutherassheproceededupstairs，drewherskirtstogether，andsteppedwithcircumspectionpastalldoors，whethertheywereopenorshut。
“Nobodywilloverhearus？“shemurmured，whenthecomparativesanctuaryofthedrawing-roomhadbeenreached。“IseethatIhaveinterruptedyou，“sheadded，glancingattheflowersstrewnuponthefloor。Amomentlatersheinquired，“Wassomeonesittingwithyou？“
noticingahandkerchiefthatCassandrahaddroppedinherflight。
“Cassandrawashelpingmetoputtheflowersinwater，“saidKatharine，andshespokesofirmlyandclearlythatMrs。Milvainglancednervouslyatthemaindoorandthenatthecurtainwhichdividedthelittleroomwiththerelicsfromthedrawing-room。
“Ah，Cassandraisstillwithyou，“sheremarked。“AnddidWilliamsendyouthoselovelyflowers？“
Katharinesatdownoppositeherauntandsaidneitheryesnorno。Shelookedpasther，anditmighthavebeenthoughtthatshewasconsideringverycriticallythepatternofthecurtains。Anotheradvantageofthebasement，fromMrs。Milvain\'spointofview，wasthatitmadeitnecessarytositveryclosetogether，andthelightwasdimcomparedwiththatwhichnowpouredthroughthreewindowsuponKatharineandthebasketofflowers，andgaveeventheslightangularfigureofMrs。Milvainherselfahaloofgold。
“They\'refromStogdonHouse，“saidKatharineabruptly，withalittlejerkofherhead。
Mrs。Milvainfeltthatitwouldbeeasiertotellherniecewhatshewishedtosayiftheywereactuallyinphysicalcontact，forthespiritualdistancebetweenthemwasformidable。Katharine，however，madenoovertures，andMrs。Milvain，whowaspossessedofrashbutheroiccourage，plungedwithoutpreface:
“Peoplearetalkingaboutyou，Katharine。ThatiswhyIhavecomethismorning。YouforgivemeforsayingwhatI\'dmuchrathernotsay？WhatIsayisonlyforyourownsake，mychild。“
“There\'snothingtoforgiveyet，AuntCelia，“saidKatharine，withapparentgoodhumor。
“PeoplearesayingthatWilliamgoeseverywherewithyouandCassandra，andthatheisalwayspayingherattentions。AttheMarkhams\'dancehesatoutfivedanceswithher。AttheZootheywereseenalonetogether。Theylefttogether。Theynevercamebackheretillsevenintheevening。Butthatisnotall。Theysayhismannerisverymarked——heisquitedifferentwhensheisthere。“
Mrs。Milvain，whosewordshadrunthemselvestogether，andwhosevoicehadraiseditstonealmosttooneofprotest，hereceased，andlookedintentlyatKatharine，asiftojudgetheeffectofhercommunication。
AslightrigidityhadpassedoverKatharine\'sface。Herlipswerepressedtogether；hereyeswerecontracted，andtheywerestillfixeduponthecurtain。Thesesuperficialchangescoveredanextremeinnerloathingsuchasmightfollowthedisplayofsomehideousorindecentspectacle。Theindecentspectaclewasherownactionbeheldforthefirsttimefromtheoutside；heraunt\'swordsmadeherrealizehowinfinitelyrepulsivethebodyoflifeiswithoutitssoul。
“Well？“shesaidatlength。
Mrs。Milvainmadeagestureasiftobringhercloser，butitwasnotreturned。
“Weallknowhowgoodyouare——howunselfish——howyousacrificeyourselftoothers。Butyou\'vebeentoounselfish，Katharine。YouhavemadeCassandrahappy，andshehastakenadvantageofyourgoodness。“
“Idon\'tunderstand，AuntCelia，“saidKatharine。“WhathasCassandradone？“
“CassandrahasbehavedinawaythatIcouldnothavethoughtpossible，“saidMrs。Milvainwarmly。“Shehasbeenutterlyselfish——utterlyheartless。ImustspeaktoherbeforeIgo。“
“Idon\'tunderstand，“Katharinepersisted。
Mrs。Milvainlookedather。WasitpossiblethatKatharinereallydoubted？ThattherewassomethingthatMrs。Milvainherselfdidnotunderstand？Shebracedherself，andpronouncedthetremendouswords:
“CassandrahasstolenWilliam\'slove。“
Stillthewordsseemedtohavecuriouslylittleeffect。
“Doyoumean，“saidKatharine，“thathehasfalleninlovewithher？“
“TherearewaysofMAKINGmenfallinlovewithone，Katharine。“
Katharineremainedsilent。ThesilencealarmedMrs。Milvain，andshebeganhurriedly:
“Nothingwouldhavemademesaythesethingsbutyourowngood。Ihavenotwishedtointerfere；Ihavenotwishedtogiveyoupain。Iamauselessoldwoman。Ihavenochildrenofmyown。Ionlywanttoseeyouhappy，Katharine。“
Againshestretchedforthherarms，buttheyremainedempty。
“YouarenotgoingtosaythesethingstoCassandra，“saidKatharinesuddenly。“You\'vesaidthemtome；that\'senough。“
KatharinespokesolowandwithsuchrestraintthatMrs。Milvainhadtostraintocatchherwords，andwhensheheardthemshewasdazedbythem。
“I\'vemadeyouangry！IknewIshould！“sheexclaimed。Shequivered，andakindofsobshookher；buteventohavemadeKatharineangrywassomerelief，andallowedhertofeelsomeoftheagreeablesensationsofmartyrdom。
“Yes，“saidKatharine，standingup，“I\'msoangrythatIdon\'twanttosayanythingmore。Ithinkyou\'dbettergo，AuntCelia。Wedon\'tunderstandeachother。“
AtthesewordsMrs。Milvainlookedforamomentterriblyapprehensive；
sheglancedatherniece\'sface，butreadnopitythere，whereuponshefoldedherhandsuponablackvelvetbagwhichshecarriedinanattitudethatwasalmostoneofprayer。Whateverdivinitysheprayedto，ifprayshedid，atanyratesherecoveredherdignityinasingularwayandfacedherniece。
“Marriedlove，“shesaidslowlyandwithemphasisuponeveryword，“isthemostsacredofallloves。Theloveofhusbandandwifeisthemostholyweknow。ThatisthelessonMamma\'schildrenlearntfromher；
thatiswhattheycanneverforget。Ihavetriedtospeakasshewouldhavewishedherdaughtertospeak。Youarehergrandchild。“
Katharineseemedtojudgethisdefenceuponitsmerits，andthentoconvictitoffalsity。
“Idon\'tseethatthereisanyexcuseforyourbehavior，“shesaid。
AtthesewordsMrs。Milvainroseandstoodforamomentbesideherniece。Shehadnevermetwithsuchtreatmentbefore，andshedidnotknowwithwhatweaponstobreakdowntheterriblewallofresistanceofferedherbyonewho，byvirtueofyouthandbeautyandsex，shouldhavebeenalltearsandsupplications。ButMrs。Milvainherselfwasobstinate；uponamatterofthiskindshecouldnotadmitthatshewaseitherbeatenormistaken。Shebeheldherselfthechampionofmarriedloveinitspurityandsupremacy；whatherniecestoodforshewasquiteunabletosay，butshewasfilledwiththegravestsuspicions。
Theoldwomanandtheyoungwomanstoodsidebysideinunbrokensilence。Mrs。Milvaincouldnotmakeuphermindtowithdrawwhileherprinciplestrembledinthebalanceandhercuriosityremainedunappeased。SheransackedhermindforsomequestionthatshouldforceKatharinetoenlightenher，butthesupplywaslimited，thechoicedifficult，andwhileshehesitatedthedooropenedandWilliamRodneycamein。Hecarriedinhishandanenormousandsplendidbunchofwhiteandpurpleflowers，and，eithernotseeingMrs。Milvain，ordisregardingher，headvancedstraighttoKatharine，andpresentedtheflowerswiththewords:
“Theseareforyou，Katharine。“
KatharinetookthemwithaglancethatMrs。Milvaindidnotfailtointercept。Butwithallherexperience，shedidnotknowwhattomakeofit。Shewatchedanxiouslyforfurtherillumination。Williamgreetedherwithoutobvioussignofguilt，and，explainingthathehadaholiday，bothheandKatharineseemedtotakeitforgrantedthathisholidayshouldbecelebratedwithflowersandspentinCheyneWalk。A
pausefollowed；that，too，wasnatural；andMrs。Milvainbegantofeelthatshelaidherselfopentoachargeofselfishnessifshestayed。
Themerepresenceofayoungmanhadalteredherdispositioncuriously，andfilledherwithadesireforascenewhichshouldendinanemotionalforgiveness。Shewouldhavegivenmuchtoclaspbothnephewandnieceinherarms。Butshecouldnotflatterherselfthatanyhopeofthecustomaryexaltationremained。
“Imustgo，“shesaid，andshewasconsciousofanextremeflatnessofspirit。
Neitherofthemsaidanythingtostopher。Williampolitelyescortedherdownstairs，andsomehow，amongstherprotestsandembarrassments，Mrs。Milvainforgottosaygood-byetoKatharine。Shedeparted，murmuringwordsaboutmassesofflowersandadrawing-roomalwaysbeautifuleveninthedepthsofwinter。
WilliamcamebacktoKatharine；hefoundherstandingwherehehadlefther。
“I\'vecometobeforgiven，“hesaid。“Ourquarrelwasperfectlyhatefultome。I\'venotsleptallnight。You\'renotangrywithme，areyou，Katharine？“
Shecouldnotbringherselftoanswerhimuntilshehadridhermindoftheimpressionthatheraunthadmadeonher。Itseemedtoherthattheveryflowerswerecontaminated，andCassandra\'spocket-
handkerchief，forMrs。Milvainhadusedthemforevidenceinherinvestigations。
“She\'sbeenspyinguponus，“shesaid，“followingusaboutLondon，overhearingwhatpeoplearesaying——“
“Mrs。Milvain？“Rodneyexclaimed。“Whathasshetoldyou？“
Hisairofopenconfidenceentirelyvanished。
“Oh，peoplearesayingthatyou\'reinlovewithCassandra，andthatyoudon\'tcareforme。“
“Theyhaveseenus？“heasked。
“Everythingwe\'vedoneforafortnighthasbeenseen。“
“Itoldyouthatwouldhappen！“heexclaimed。
Hewalkedtothewindowinevidentperturbation。Katharinewastooindignanttoattendtohim。Shewassweptawaybytheforceofherownanger。ClaspingRodney\'sflowers，shestooduprightandmotionless。
Rodneyturnedawayfromthewindow。
“It\'sallbeenamistake，“hesaid。“Iblamemyselfforit。Ishouldhaveknownbetter。Iletyoupersuademeinamomentofmadness。Ibegyoutoforgetmyinsanity，Katharine。“
“ShewishedeventopersecuteCassandra！“Katharineburstout，notlisteningtohim。“Shethreatenedtospeaktoher。She\'scapableofit——she\'scapableofanything！“
“Mrs。Milvainisnottactful，Iknow，butyouexaggerate，Katharine。
Peoplearetalkingaboutus。Shewasrighttotellus。Itonlyconfirmsmyownfeeling——thepositionismonstrous。“
AtlengthKatharinerealizedsomepartofwhathemeant。
“Youdon\'tmeanthatthisinfluencesyou，William？“sheaskedinamazement。
“Itdoes，“hesaid，flushing。“It\'sintenselydisagreeabletome。I
can\'tendurethatpeopleshouldgossipaboutus。Andthenthere\'syourcousin——Cassandra——“Hepausedinembarrassment。
“Icameherethismorning，Katharine，“heresumed，withachangeofvoice，“toaskyoutoforgetmyfolly，mybadtemper，myinconceivablebehavior。Icame，Katharine，toaskwhetherwecan\'treturntothepositionwewereinbeforethis——thisseasonoflunacy。Willyoutakemeback，Katharine，oncemoreandforever？“
Nodoubtherbeauty，intensifiedbyemotionandenhancedbytheflowersofbrightcolorandstrangeshapewhichshecarriedwroughtuponRodney，andhaditsshareinbestowinguponhertheoldromance。
Butalessnoblepassionworkedinhim，too；hewasinflamedbyjealousy。Histentativeofferofaffectionhadbeenrudelyand，ashethought，completelyrepulsedbyCassandraontheprecedingday。
Denham\'sconfessionwasinhismind。Andultimately，Katharine\'sdominionoverhimwasofthesortthatthefeversofthenightcannotexorcise。
“Iwasasmuchtoblameasyouwereyesterday，“shesaidgently，disregardinghisquestion。“Iconfess，William，thesightofyouandCassandratogethermademejealous，andIcouldn\'tcontrolmyself。I
laughedatyou，Iknow。“
“Youjealous！“Williamexclaimed。“lassureyou，Katharine，you\'venottheslightestreasontobejealous。Cassandradislikesme，sofarasshefeelsaboutmeatall。Iwasfoolishenoughtotrytoexplainthenatureofourrelationship。Icouldn\'tresisttellingherwhatI
supposedmyselftofeelforher。Sherefusedtolisten，veryrightly。
Butsheleftmeinnodoubtofherscorn。“
Katharinehesitated。Shewasconfused，agitated，physicallytired，andhadalreadytoreckonwiththeviolentfeelingofdislikearousedbyherauntwhichstillvibratedthroughalltherestofherfeelings。
Shesankintoachairanddroppedherflowersuponherlap。
“Shecharmedme，“Rodneycontinued。“IthoughtIlovedher。Butthat\'sathingofthepast。It\'sallover，Katharine。Itwasadream——anhallucination。Wewerebothequallytoblame，butnoharm\'sdoneifyoubelievehowtrulyIcareforyou。Sayyoubelieveme！“
Hestoodoverher，asifinreadinesstoseizethefirstsignofherassent。Preciselyatthatmoment，owing，perhaps，tohervicissitudesoffeeling，allsenseoflovelefther，asinamomentamistliftsfromtheearth。Andwhenthemistdepartedaskeletonworldandblanknessaloneremained——aterribleprospectfortheeyesofthelivingtobehold。Hesawthelookofterrorinherface，andwithoutunderstandingitsorigin，tookherhandinhis。Withthesenseofcompanionshipreturnedadesire，likethatofachildforshelter，toacceptwhathehadtoofferher——andatthatmomentitseemedthatheofferedhertheonlythingthatcouldmakeittolerabletolive。Shelethimpresshislipstohercheek，andleantherheaduponhisarm。
Itwasthemomentofhistriumph。Itwastheonlymomentinwhichshebelongedtohimandwasdependentuponhisprotection。
“Yes，yes，yes，“hemurmured，“youacceptme，Katharine。Youloveme。“
Foramomentsheremainedsilent。Hethenheardhermurmur:
“CassandralovesyoumorethanIdo。“
“Cassandra？“hewhispered。
“Shelovesyou，“Katharinerepeated。Sheraisedherselfandrepeatedthesentenceyetathirdtime。“Shelovesyou。“
Williamslowlyraisedhimself。HebelievedinstinctivelywhatKatharinesaid，butwhatitmeanttohimhewasunabletounderstand。
CouldCassandralovehim？CouldshehavetoldKatharinethatshelovedhim？Thedesiretoknowthetruthofthiswasurgent，unknownthoughtheconsequencesmightbe。ThethrillofexcitementassociatedwiththethoughtofCassandraoncemoretookpossessionofhim。Nolongerwasittheexcitementofanticipationandignorance；itwastheexcitementofsomethinggreaterthanapossibility，fornowheknewherandhadmeasureofthesympathybetweenthem。Butwhocouldgivehimcertainty？CouldKatharine，Katharinewhohadlatelylaininhisarms，Katharineherselfthemostadmiredofwomen？Helookedather，withdoubt，andwithanxiety，butsaidnothing。
“Yes，yes，“shesaid，interpretinghiswishforassurance，“it\'strue。
Iknowwhatshefeelsforyou。“
“Shelovesme？“
Katharinenodded。
“Ah，butwhoknowswhatIfeel？HowcanIbesureofmyfeelingmyself？TenminutesagoIaskedyoutomarryme。Istillwishit——I
don\'tknowwhatIwish——“
Heclenchedhishandsandturnedaway。Hesuddenlyfacedheranddemanded:“TellmewhatyoufeelforDenham。“
“ForRalphDenham？“sheasked。“Yes！“sheexclaimed，asifshehadfoundtheanswertosomemomentarilyperplexingquestion。“You\'rejealousofme，William；butyou\'renotinlovewithme。I\'mjealousofyou。Therefore，forbothoursakes，Isay，speaktoCassandraatonce。“
Hetriedtocomposehimself。Hewalkedupanddowntheroom；hepausedatthewindowandsurveyedtheflowersstrewnuponthefloor。
MeanwhilehisdesiretohaveKatharine\'sassuranceconfirmedbecamesoinsistentthathecouldnolongerdenytheovermasteringstrengthofhisfeelingforCassandra。
“You\'reright，“heexclaimed，comingtoastandstillandrappinghisknucklessharplyuponasmalltablecarryingoneslendervase。“IloveCassandra。“
Ashesaidthis，thecurtainshangingatthedoorofthelittleroomparted，andCassandraherselfsteppedforth。
“Ihaveoverheardeveryword！“sheexclaimed。
Apausesucceededthisannouncement。Rodneymadeastepforwardandsaid:
“ThenyouknowwhatIwishtoaskyou。Givemeyouranswer——“
Sheputherhandsbeforeherface；sheturnedawayandseemedtoshrinkfrombothofthem。
“WhatKatharinesaid，“shemurmured。“But，“sheadded，raisingherheadwithalookoffearfromthekisswithwhichhegreetedheradmission，“howfrightfullydifficultitallis！Ourfeelings，Imean——yoursandmineandKatharine\'s。Katharine，tellme，arewedoingright？“
“Right——ofcoursewe\'redoingright，“Williamansweredher，“if，afterwhatyou\'veheard，youcanmarryamanofsuchincomprehensibleconfusion，suchdeplorable——“
“Don\'t，William，“Katharineinterposed；“Cassandrahasheardus；shecanjudgewhatweare；sheknowsbetterthanwecouldtellher。“
But，stillholdingWilliam\'shand，questionsanddesireswelledupinCassandra\'sheart。Hadshedonewronginlistening？WhydidAuntCeliablameher？DidKatharinethinkherright？Aboveall，didWilliamreallyloveher，foreverandever，betterthananyone？
“Imustbefirstwithhim，Katharine！“sheexclaimed。“Ican\'tsharehimevenwithyou。“
“Ishallneveraskthat，“saidKatharine。Shemovedalittleawayfromwheretheysatandbeganhalf-consciouslysortingherflowers。
“Butyou\'vesharedwithme，“Cassandrasaid。“Whycan\'tIsharewithyou？WhyamIsomean？Iknowwhyitis，“sheadded。“Weunderstandeachother，WilliamandI。You\'veneverunderstoodeachother。You\'retoodifferent。“
“I\'veneveradmiredanybodymore，“Williaminterposed。
“It\'snotthat“——Cassandratriedtoenlightenhim——“it\'sunderstanding。“
“HaveIneverunderstoodyou，Katharine？HaveIbeenveryselfish？“
“Yes，“Cassandrainterposed。“You\'veaskedherforsympathy，andshe\'snotsympathetic；you\'vewantedhertobepractical，andshe\'snotpractical。You\'vebeenselfish；you\'vebeenexacting——andsohasKatharine——butitwasn\'tanybody\'sfault。“
Katharinehadlistenedtothisattemptatanalysiswithkeenattention。Cassandra\'swordsseemedtorubtheoldblurredimageoflifeandfreshenitsomarvelouslythatitlookednewagain。SheturnedtoWilliam。
“It\'squitetrue，“shesaid。“Itwasnobody\'sfault。“
“Therearemanythingsthathe\'llalwayscometoyoufor，“Cassandracontinued，stillreadingfromherinvisiblebook。“Iacceptthat，Katharine。Ishallneverdisputeit。Iwanttobegenerousasyou\'vebeengenerous。Butbeinginlovemakesitmoredifficultforme。“
Theyweresilent。AtlengthWilliambrokethesilence。
“OnethingIbegofyouboth，hesaid，andtheoldnervousnessofmannerreturnedasheglancedatKatharine。“Wewillneverdiscussthesemattersagain。It\'snotthatI\'mtimidandconventional，asyouthink，Katharine。It\'sthatitspoilsthingstodiscussthem；itunsettlespeople\'sminds；andnowwe\'reallsohappy——“
Cassandraratifiedthisconclusionsofarasshewasconcerned，andWilliam，afterreceivingtheexquisitepleasureofherglance，withitsabsoluteaffectionandtrust，lookedanxiouslyatKatharine。
“Yes，I\'mhappy，“sheassuredhim。“AndIagree。Wewillnevertalkaboutitagain。“
“Oh，Katharine，Katharine！“Cassandracried，holdingoutherarmswhilethetearsrandownhercheeks。
CHAPTERXXX
Thedaywassodifferentfromotherdaystothreepeopleinthehousethatthecommonroutineofhouseholdlife——themaidwaitingattable，Mrs。Hilberywritingaletter，theclockstriking，andthedooropening，andalltheothersignsoflong-establishedcivilizationappearedsuddenlytohavenomeaningsaveastheylulledMr。andMrs。
Hilberyintothebeliefthatnothingunusualhadtakenplace。ItchancedthatMrs。Hilberywasdepressedwithoutvisiblecause，unlessacertaincrudenessverginguponcoarsenessinthetemperofherfavoriteElizabethanscouldbeheldresponsibleforthemood。Atanyrate，shehadshutup“TheDuchessofMalfi“withasigh，andwishedtoknow，soshetoldRodneyatdinner，whethertherewasn\'tsomeyoungwriterwithatouchofthegreatspirit——somebodywhomadeyoubelievethatlifewasBEAUTIFUL？ShegotlittlehelpfromRodney，andaftersingingherplaintiverequiemforthedeathofpoetrybyherself，shecharmedherselfintogoodspiritsagainbyrememberingtheexistenceofMozart。ShebeggedCassandratoplaytoher，andwhentheywentupstairsCassandraopenedthepianodirectly，anddidherbesttocreateanatmosphereofunmixedbeauty。AtthesoundofthefirstnotesKatharineandRodneybothfeltanenormoussenseofreliefatthelicensewhichthemusicgavethemtoloosentheirholduponthemechanismofbehavior。Theylapsedintothedepthsofthought。Mrs。
Hilberywassoonspiritedawayintoaperfectlycongenialmood，thatwashalfreverieandhalfslumber，halfdeliciousmelancholyandhalfpurebliss。Mr。Hilberyaloneattended。Hewasextremelymusical，andmadeCassandraawarethathelistenedtoeverynote。Sheplayedherbest，andwonhisapproval。Leaningslightlyforwardinhischair，andturninghislittlegreenstone，heweighedtheintentionofherphrasesapprovingly，butstoppedhersuddenlytocomplainofanoisebehindhim。Thewindowwasunhasped。HesignedtoRodney，whocrossedtheroomimmediatelytoputthematterright。Hestayedamomentlongerbythewindowthanwas，perhaps，necessary，andhavingdonewhatwasneeded，drewhischairalittlecloserthanbeforetoKatharine\'sside。Themusicwenton。Undercoverofsomeexquisiterunofmelody，heleanttowardsherandwhisperedsomething。Sheglancedatherfatherandmother，andamomentlaterlefttheroom，almostunobserved，withRodney。
“Whatisit？“sheasked，assoonasthedoorwasshut。
Rodneymadenoanswer，butledherdownstairsintothedining-roomonthegroundfloor。Evenwhenhehadshutthedoorhesaidnothing，butwentstraighttothewindowandpartedthecurtains。HebeckonedtoKatharine。
“Thereheisagain，“hesaid。“Look，there——underthelamp-post。“
Katharinelooked。ShehadnoideawhatRodneywastalkingabout。A
vaguefeelingofalarmandmysterypossessedher。Shesawamanstandingontheoppositesideoftheroadfacingthehousebeneathalamp-post。Astheylookedthefigureturned，walkedafewsteps，andcamebackagaintohisoldposition。Itseemedtoherthathewaslookingfixedlyather，andwasconsciousofhergazeonhim。Sheknew，inaflash，whothemanwaswhowaswatchingthem。Shedrewthecurtainabruptly。
“Denham，“saidRodney。“Hewastherelastnighttoo。“Hespokesternly。Hiswholemannerhadbecomefullofauthority。Katharinefeltalmostasifheaccusedherofsomecrime。Shewaspaleanduncomfortablyagitated，asmuchbythestrangenessofRodney\'sbehaviorasbythesightofRalphDenham。
“Ifhechoosestocome——“shesaiddefiantly。
“Youcan\'tlethimwaitoutthere。Ishalltellhimtocomein。“
RodneyspokewithsuchdecisionthatwhenheraisedhisarmKatharineexpectedhimtodrawthecurtaininstantly。Shecaughthishandwithalittleexclamation。
“Wait！“shecried。“Idon\'tallowyou。“
“Youcan\'twait，“hereplied。“You\'vegonetoofar。“Hishandremaineduponthecurtain。“Whydon\'tyouadmit，Katharine，“hebrokeout，lookingatherwithanexpressionofcontemptaswellasofanger，“thatyoulovehim？Areyougoingtotreathimasyoutreatedme？“
Shelookedathim，wondering，inspiteofallherperplexity，atthespiritthatpossessedhim。
“Iforbidyoutodrawthecurtain，“shesaid。
Hereflected，andthentookhishandaway。
“I\'venorighttointerfere，“heconcluded。“I\'llleaveyou。Or，ifyoulike，we\'llgobacktothedrawing-room。“
“No。Ican\'tgoback，“shesaid，shakingherhead。Shebentherheadinthought。
“Youlovehim，Katharine，“Rodneysaidsuddenly。Histonehadlostsomethingofitssternness，andmighthavebeenusedtourgeachildtoconfessitsfault。Sheraisedhereyesandfixedthemuponhim。
“Ilovehim？“sherepeated。Henodded。Shesearchedhisface，asifforfurtherconfirmationofhiswords，and，asheremainedsilentandexpectant，turnedawayoncemoreandcontinuedherthoughts。Heobservedherclosely，butwithoutstirring，asifhegavehertimetomakeuphermindtofulfilherobviousduty。ThestrainsofMozartreachedthemfromtheroomabove。