Insteadofanswering，Estellaburstoutlaughing。Thiswasverysingulartome，andIlookedatherinconsiderableperplexity。Whensheleftoff-andshehadnotlaughedlanguidly，butwithrealenjoyment-Isaid，inmydiffidentwaywithher:
`IhopeImaysupposethatyouwouldnotbeamusediftheydidmeanyharm。\'
`No，noyoumaybesureofthat，\'saidEstella。`YoumaybecertainthatIlaughbecausetheyfail。Oh，thosepeoplewithMissHavisham，andthetorturestheyundergo！\'Shelaughedagain，andevennowwhenshehadtoldmewhy，herlaughterwasverysingulartome，forIcouldnotdoubtitsbeinggenuine，andyetitseemedtoomuchfortheoccasion。IthoughttheremustreallybesomethingmoreherethanIknew；shesawthethoughtinmymind，andansweredit。
`Itisnoteasyforevenyou。\'saidEstella，`toknowwhatsatisfactionitgivesmetoseethosepeoplethwarted，orwhatanenjoyablesenseoftheridiculousIhavewhentheyaremaderidiculous。Foryouwerenotbroughtupinthatstrangehousefromamerebaby-Iwas。Youhadnotyourlittlewitssharpenedbytheirintriguingagainstyou，suppressedanddefenceless，underthemaskofsympathyandpityandwhatnotthatissoftandsoothing-
Ihad。Youdidnotgraduallyopenyourroundchildisheyeswiderandwidertothediscoveryofthatimpostorofawomanwhocalculatesherstoresofpeaceofmindforwhenshewakesupinthenight-Idid。\'
IwasnolaughingmatterwithEstellanow，norwasshesummoningtheseremembrancesfromanyshallowplace。Iwouldnothavebeenthecauseofthatlookofhers，forallmyexpectationsinaheap。
`TwothingsIcantellyou，\'saidEstella。`First，notwithstandingtheproverbthatconstantdroppingwillwearawayastone，youmaysetyourmindatrestthatthesepeopleneverwill-neverwould，inhundredyears-impairyourgroundwithMissHavisham，inanyparticular，greatorsmall。
Second，Iambeholdentoyouasthecauseoftheirbeingsobusyandsomeaninvain，andthereismyhanduponit。\'
Asshegaveitmeplayfully-forherdarkermoodhadbeenbutmomentary-Ihelditandputittomylips。`Youridiculousboy，\'saidEstella，`willyounevertakewarning？OrdoyoukissmyhandinthesamespiritinwhichIonceletyoukissmycheek？\'
`Whatspiritwasthat？\'saidI。
`ImustthinkamomentAspiritofcontemptforthefawnersandplotters。\'
`IfIsayyes，mayIkissthecheekagain？\'
`Youshouldhaveaskedbeforeyoutouchedthehand。But，yes，ifyoulike。\'
Ileaneddown，andhercalmfacewaslikeastatue\'s。`Now，\'saidEstella，glidingawaytheinstantItouchedhercheek，`youaretotakecarethatIhavesometea，andyouaretotakemetoRichmond。\'
Herrevertingtothistoneasifourassociationwereforceduponusandweweremerepuppets，gavemepain；buteverythinginourintercoursedidgivemepain。Whateverhertonewithmehappenedtobe，Icouldputnotrustinit，andbuildnohopeonit；andyetIwentonagainsttrustandagainsthope。Whyrepeatitathousandtimes？Soitalwayswas。
Irangforthetea，andthewaiter，reappearingwithhismagicclue，broughtinbydegreessomefiftyadjunctstothatrefreshmentbutofteanotaglimpse。Ateaboard，cupsandsaucers，plates，knivesandforksincludingcarvers，spoonsvarious，saltcellars，ameeklittlemuffinconfinedwiththeutmostprecautionunderastrongironcover，Mosesinthebullrushestypifiedbyasoftbitofbutterinaquantityofparsley，apaleloafwithapowderedhead，twoproofimpressionsofthebarsofthekitchenfire-placeontriangularbitsofbread，andultimatelyafatfamilyurn:
whichthewaiterstaggeredinwith，expressinginhiscountenanceburdenandsuffering。Afteraprolongedabsenceatthisstageoftheentertainment，heatlengthcamebackwithacasketofpreciousappearancecontainingtwigs。TheseIsteepedinhotwater，andsofromthewholeoftheseappliancesextractedonecupofIdon\'tknowwhat，forEstella。
Thebillpaid，andthewaiterremembered，andtheostlernotforgotten，andthechambermaidtakenintoconsideration-inaword，thewholehousebribedintoastateofcontemptandanimosity，andEstella\'spursemuchlightened-wegotintoourpost-coachanddroveaway。TurningintoCheapsideandrattlingupNewgate-street，weweresoonunderthewallsofwhichI
wassoashamed。
`Whatplaceisthat？\'Estellaaskedme。
Imadeafoolishpretenceofnotatfirstrecognizingit，andthentoldher。Asshelookedatit，anddrewinherheadagain，murmuring`Wretches！\'
Iwouldnothaveconfessedtomyvisitforanyconsideration。
`MrJaggers，\'saidI，bywayofputtingitneatlyonsomebodyelse，`hasthereputationofbeingmoreinthesecretsofthatdismalplacethananymaninLondon。\'
`Heismoreinthesecretsofeveryplace，Ithink，\'saidEstella，inalowvoice。
`Youhavebeenaccustomedtoseehimoften，Isuppose？\'
`Ihavebeenaccustomedtoseehimatuncertainintervals，eversinceIcanremember。ButIknowhimnobetternow，thatIdidbeforeIcouldspeakplainly。Whatisyourownexperienceofhim？Doyouadvancewithhim？\'
`Oncehabituatedtohisdistrustfulmanner，\'saidI，`Ihavedoneverywell。\'
`Areyouintimate？\'
`Ihavedinedwithhimathisprivatehouse。\'
`Ifancy，\'saidEstella，shrinking`thatmustbeacuriousplace。\'
`Itisacuriousplace。\'
Ishouldhavebeencharyofdiscussingmyguardiantoofreelyevenwithher；butIshouldhavegoneonwiththesubjectsofarastodescribethedinnerinGerrard-street，ifwehadnotthencomeintoasuddenglareofgas。Itseemed，whileitlasted，tobeallalightandalivewiththatinexplicablefeelingIhadhadbefore；andwhenwewereoutofit，IwasasmuchdazedforafewmomentsasifIhadbeeninLightning。
So，wefellintoothertalk，anditwasprincipallyaboutthewaybywhichweweretravelling，andaboutwhatpartsofLondonlayonthissideofit，andwhatonthat。Thegreatcitywasalmostnewtoher，shetoldme，forshehadneverleftMissHavisham\'sneighbourhooduntilshehadgonetoFrance，andshehadmerelypassedthroughLondontheningoingandreturning。Iaskedherifmyguardianhadanychargeofherwhilesheremainedhere？Tothatsheemphaticallysaid`Godforbid！\'andnomore。
Itwasimpossibleformetoavoidseeingthatshecaredtoattractme；
thatshemadeherselfwinning；andwouldhavewonmeevenifthetaskhadneededpains。Yetthismademenonethehappier，for，evenifshehadnottakenthattoneofourbeingdisposedofbyothers，Ishouldhavefeltthatsheheldmyheartinherhandbecauseshewilfullychosetodoit，andnotbecauseitwouldhavewrunganytendernessinher，tocrushitandthrowitaway。
WhenwepassedthroughHammersmith，IshowedherwhereMrMatthewPocketlived，andsaiditwasnogreatwayfromRichmond，andthatIhopedIshouldseehersometimes。
`Ohyes，youareseeme；youaretocomewhenyouthinkproper；youaretobementionedtothefamily；indeedyouarealreadymentioned。\'
Iinquiredwasitalargehouseholdshewasgoingtobeamemberof？
`No；thereareonlytwo；motheranddaughter。Themotherisaladyofsomestation，thoughnotaversetoincreasingherincome。\'
`IwonderMissHavishamcouldpartwithyouagainsosoon。\'
`ItisapartofMissHavisham\'splansforme，Pip，\'saidEstella，withasigh，asifsheweretired；`IamtowritetoherconstantlyandseeherregularlyandreporthowIgoon-Iandthejewels-fortheyarenearlyallminenow。\'
Itwasthefirsttimeshehadevercalledmebymyname。Ofcourseshedidso，purposely，andknewthatIshouldtreasureitup。
WecametoRichmondalltoosoon，andourdestinationthere，wasahousebytheGreen；astaidoldhouse，wherehoopsandpowderandpatches，embroideredcoatsrolledstockingsrufflesandswords，hadhadtheircourtdaysmanyatime。Someancienttreesbeforethehousewerestillcutintofashionsasformalandunnaturalasthehoopsandwigsandstiffskirts；buttheirownallottedplacesinthegreatprocessionofthedeadwerenotfaroff，andtheywouldsoondropintothemandgothesilentwayoftherest。
Abellwithanoldvoice-whichIdaresayinitstimehadoftensaidtothehouse，Hereisthegreenfarthingale，Hereisthediamondhiltedsword，Herearetheshoeswithredheelsandthebluesolitaire，-soundedgravelyinthemoonlight，andtwocherrycolouredmaidscameflutteringouttoreceiveEstella。Thedoorwaysoonabsorbedherboxes，andshegavemeherhandandasmile，andsaidgoodnight，andwasabsorbedlikewise。
AndstillIstoodlookingatthehouse，thinkinghowhappyIshouldbeifIlivedtherewithher，andknowingthatIneverwashappywithher，butalwaysmiserable。
IgotintothecarriagetobetakenbacktoHammersmith，andIgotinwithabadheart-ache，andIgotoutwithaworseheart-ache。Atourowndoor，IfoundlittleJanePocketcominghomefromalittlepartyescortedbyherlittlelover；andIenviedherlittlelover，inspiteofhisbeingsubjecttoFlopson。
MrPocketwasoutlecturing；for，hewasamostdelightfullecturerondomesticeconomy，andhistreatisesonthemanagementofchildrenandservantswereconsideredtheverybesttext-booksonthosethemes。But，MrsPocketwasathome，andwasinalittledifficulty，onaccountofthebaby\'shavingbeenaccommodatedwithaneedle-casetokeephimquietduringtheunaccountableabsencewitharelativeintheFootGuardsofMillers。
Andmoreneedlesweremissing，thanitcouldberegardedasquitewholesomeforapatientofsuchtenderyearseithertoapplyexternallyortotakeasatonicMrPocketbeingjustlycelebratedforgivingmostexcellentpracticaladvice，andforhavingaclearandsoundperceptionofthingsandahighlyjudiciousmind，Ihadsomenotioninmyheartacheofbegginghimtoacceptmyconfidence。But，happeningtolookupatMrsPocketasshesatreadingherbookofdignitiesafterprescribingBedasasovereignremedyforbaby，Ithought-Well-No，Iwouldn\'t。
Chapter34
ASIhadgrownaccustomedtomyexpectations，Ihadinsensiblybeguntonoticetheireffectuponmyselfandthosearoundme。Theirinfluenceonmyowncharacter，Idisguisedfrommyrecognitionasmuchaspossible，butIknewverywellthatitwasnotallgood。IlivedinastateofchronicuneasinessrespectingmybehaviourtoJoe。MyconsciencewasnotbyanymeanscomfortableaboutBiddy。WhenIwokeupinthenight-likeCamilla-Iusedtothink，withawearinessonmyspirits，thatIshouldhavebeenhappierandbetterifIhadneverseenMissHavisham\'sface，andhadrisentomanhoodcontenttobepartnerswithJoeinthehonestoldforge。Manyatimeofanevening，whenIsatalonelookingatthefire，Ithought，afterall，therewasnofireliketheforgefireandthekitchenfireathome。
YetEstellawassoinseparablefromallmyrestlessnessanddisquietofmind，thatIreallyfellintoconfusionastothelimitsofmyownpartinitsproduction。Thatistosay，supposingIhadhadnoexpectations，andyethadhadEstellatothinkof，IcouldnotmakeouttomysatisfactionthatIshouldhavedonemuchbetter。Now，concerningtheinfluenceofmypositiononothers，Iwasinnosuchdifficulty，andsoIperceived-thoughdimlyenoughperhaps-thatitwasnotbeneficialtoanybody，and，aboveall，thatitwasnotbeneficialtoHerbert。Mylavishhabitsledhiseasynatureintoexpensesthathecouldnotafford，corruptedthesimplicityofhislife，anddisturbedhispeacewithanxietiesandregrets。IwasnotatallremorsefulforhavingunwittinglysetthoseotherbranchesofthePocketfamilytothepoorartstheypractised:becausesuchlittlenessesweretheirnaturalbent，andwouldhavebeenevokedbyanybodyelse，ifIhadleftthemslumbering。ButHerbert\'swasaverydifferentcase，anditoftencausedmeatwingetothinkthatIhaddonehimevilserviceincrowdinghissparely-furnishedchamberswithincongruousupholsterywork，andplacingthecanary-breastedAvengerathisdisposalSonow，asaninfalliblewayofmakinglittleeasegreatease，Ibegantocontractaquantityofdebt。IcouldhardlybeginbutHerbertmustbegintoo，sohesoonfollowed。AtStartop\'ssuggestion，weputourselvesdownforelectionintoaclubcalledTheFinchesoftheGrove:theobjectofwhichinstitutionIhaveneverdivined，ifitwerenotthatthemembersshoulddineexpensivelyonceafortnight，toquarrelamongthemselvesasmuchaspossibleafterdinner，andtocausesixwaiterstogetdrunkonthestairs。IKnowthatthesegratifyingsocialendsweresoinvariablyaccomplished，thatHerbertandIunderstoodnothingelsetobereferredtointhefirststandingtoastofthesociety:whichran`Gentlemen，maythepresentpromotionofgoodfeelingeverreignpredominantamongtheFinchesoftheGrove。\'
TheFinchesspenttheirmoneyfoolishlytheHotelwedinedatwasinCovent-garden，andthefirstFinchIsaw，whenIhadthehonourofjoiningtheGrove，wasBentleyDrummle:atthattimeflounderingabouttowninacabofhisown，anddoingagreatdealofdamagetothepostsatthestreetcorners。Occasionally，heshothimselfoutofhisequipagehead-foremostovertheapron；andIsawhimononeoccasiondeliverhimselfatthedooroftheGroveinthisunintentionalway-likecoals。ButhereIanticipatealittleforIwasnotaFinch，andcouldnotbe，accordingtothesacredlawsofthesociety，untilIcameofage。
Inmyconfidenceinmyownresources，IwouldwillinglyhavetakenHerbert\'sexpensesonmyself；butHerbertwasproud，andIcouldmakenosuchproposaltohim。So，hegotintodifficultiesineverydirection，andcontinuedtolookabouthim。Whenwegraduallyfellintokeepinglatehoursandlatecompany，Inoticedthathelookedabouthimwithadespondingeyeatbreakfast-time；
thathebegantolookabouthimmorehopefullyaboutmid-day；thathedroopedwhenhecameintodinner；thatheseemedtodescryCapitalinthedistanceratherclearly，afterdinner；thatheallbutrealizedCapitaltowardsmidnight；andthatatabouttwoo\'clockinthemorning，hebecamesodeeplydespondentagainastotalkofbuyingarifleandgoingtoAmerica，withageneralpurposeofcompellingbuffaloestomakehisfortune。
IwasusuallyatHammersmithabouthalftheweek，andwhenIwasatHammersmithIhauntedRichmond:whereofseparatelyby-and-by。HerbertwouldoftencometoHammersmithwhenIwasthere，andIthinkatthoseseasonshisfatherwouldoccasionallyhavesomepassingperceptionthattheopeninghewaslookingfor，hadnotappearedyet。Butinthegeneraltumblingupofthefamily，histumblingoutinlifesomewhere，wasathingtotransactitselfsomehow。InthemeantimeMrPocketgrewgreyer，andtriedoftenertolifthimselfoutofhisperplexitiesbythehair。WhileMrsPockettrippedupthefamilywithherfootstool，readherbookofdignities，lostherpocket-handkerchief，toldusabouthergrandpapa，andtaughttheyoungideahowtoshoot，byshootingitintobedwheneveritattractedhernotice。
AsIamnowgeneralizingaperiodofmylifewiththeobjectofclearingmywaybeforeme，IcanscarcelydosobetterthanbyatoncecompletingthedescriptionofourusualmannersandcustomsatBarnard\'sInnWespentasmuchmoneyaswecould，andgotaslittleforitaspeoplecouldmakeuptheirmindstogiveus。Wewerealwaysmoreorlessmiserable，andmostofouracquaintancewereinthesamecondition。Therewasagayfictionamongusthatwewereconstantlyenjoyingourselves，andaskeletontruththatweneverdid。Tothebestofmybelief，ourcasewasinthelastaspectarathercommonone。
Everymorning，withanairevernew，HerbertwentintotheCitytolookabouthim。Ioftenpaidhimavisitinthedarkback-roominwhichheconsortedwithanink-jar，ahat-peg，acoal-box，astring-box，analmanack，adeskandstool，andaruler；andIdonotrememberthatIeversawhimdoanythingelsebutlookabouthim。Ifwealldidwhatweundertaketodo，asfaithfullyasHerbertdid，wemightliveinaRepublicoftheVirtues。Hehadnothingelsetodo，poorfellow，exceptatacertainhourofeveryafternoonto`gotoLloyd\'s\'-inobservanceofaceremonyofseeinghisprincipal，Ithink。HeneverdidanythingelseinconnexionwithLloyd\'sthatIcouldfindout，exceptcomebackagain。Whenhefelthiscaseunusuallyserious，andthathepositivelymustfindanopening，hewouldgoon\'Changeatabusytime，andwalkinandout，inakindofgloomycountrydancefigure，amongtheassembledmagnates。`For，\'saysHerberttome，cominghometodinnerononeofthosespecialoccasions，`Ifindthetruthtobe，Handel，thatanopeningwon\'tcometoone，butonemustgotoit-soIhavebeen。\'
Ifwehadbeenlessattachedtooneanother，Ithinkwemusthavehatedoneanotherregularlyeverymorning。Idetestedthechambersbeyondexpressionatthatperiodofrepentance，andcouldnotendurethesightoftheAvenger\'slivery:whichhadamoreexpensiveandalessremunerativeappearancethen，thanatanyothertimeinthefour-and-twentyhours。Aswegotmoreandmoreintodebtbreakfastbecameahollowerandhollowerform，and，beingononeoccasionatbreakfast-timethreatenedbyletterwithlegalproceedings，`notunwhollyunconnected，\'asmylocalpapermightputit，`withjewellery，\'
IwentsofarastoseizetheAvengerbyhisbluecollarandshakehimoffhisfeet-sothathewasactuallyintheair，likeabootedCupid-forpresumingtosupposethatwewantedaroll。
Atcertaintimes-meaningatuncertaintimes，fortheydependedonourhumour-IwouldsaytoHerbert，asifitwerearemarkablediscovery:
`MydearHerbert，wearegettingonbadly。\'
`MydearHandel，\'Herbertwouldsaytome，inallsincerity，ifyouwillbelieveme，thoseverywordswereonmylips，byastrangecoincidence。\'
`Then，Herbert，\'Iwouldrespond，`letuslookintooutaffairs。\'
Wealwaysderivedprofoundsatisfactionfrommakinganappointmentforthispurpose。Ialwaysthoughtthiswasbusiness，thiswasthewaytoconfrontthething，thiswasthewaytotakethefoebythethroat。AndIknowHerbertthoughtsotoo。
Weorderedsomethingratherspecialfordinner，withabottleofsomethingsimilarlyoutofthecommonway，inorderthatourmindsmightbefortifiedfortheoccasion，andwemightcomewelluptothemark。Dinnerover，weproducedabundleofpens，acopioussupplyofink，andagoodlyshowofwritingandblottingpaper。For，therewassomethingverycomfortableinhavingplentyofstationery。
Iwouldthentakeasheetofpaper，andwriteacrossthetopofit，inaneathand，theheading，`MemorandumofPip\'sdebts；\'withBarnard\'sInnandthedateverycarefullyadded。Herbertwouldalsotakeasheetofpaper，andwriteacrossitwithsimilarformalities，`MemorandumofHerbert\'sdebts。\'
Eachofuswouldthenrefertoaconfusedheapofpapersathisside，whichhadbeenthrownintodrawers，wornintoholesinPockets，half-burntinlightingcandles，stuckforweeksintothelooking-glass，andotherwisedamaged。Thesoundofourpensgoing，refreshedusexceedingly，insomuchthatIsometimesfounditdifficulttodistinguishbetweenthisedifyingbusinessproceedingandactuallypayingthemoney。Inpointofmeritoriouscharacter，thetwothingsseemedaboutequal。
Whenwehadwrittenalittlewhile，IwouldaskHerberthowhegoton？
Herbertprobablywouldhavebeenscratchinghisheadinamostruefulmanneratthesightofhisaccumulatingfigures。
`Theyaremountingup，Handel，\'Herbertwouldsay；`uponmylife，theyaremountingup。\'
`Befirm，Herbert，\'Iwouldretort，plyingmyownpenwithgreatassiduity。
`Lookthethingintheface。Lookintoyouraffairs。Starethemoutofcountenance。\'
`SoIwould，Handel，onlytheyarestaringmeoutofcountenance。\'
However，mydeterminedmannerwouldhaveitseffect，andHerbertwouldfalltoworkagain。Afteratimehewouldgiveuponcemore，onthepleathathehadnotgotCobbs\'sbill，orLobbs\'s，orNobbs\'s，asthecasemightbe。
`Then，Herbert，estimate；estimateitinroundnumbers，andputitdown。\'
`Whatafellowofresourceyouare！\'myfriendwouldreply，withadmiration。
`Reallyyourbusinesspowersareveryremarkable。\'
Ithoughtsotoo。Iestablishedwithmyselfontheseoccasions，thereputationofafirst-ratemanofbusiness-prompt，decisive，energetic，clear，cool-headed。WhenIhadgotallmyresponsibilitiesdownuponmylist，Icomparedeachwiththebill，andtickeditoff。Myself-approvalwhenItickedanentrywasquitealuxurioussensation。WhenIhadnomoretickstomake，Ifoldedallmybillsupuniformly，docketedeachontheback，andtiedthewholeintoasymmetricalbundle。ThenIdidthesameforHerbertwhomodestlysaidhehadnotmyadministrativegenius，andfeltthatIhadbroughthisaffairsintoafocusforhim。
Mybusinesshabitshadoneotherbrightfeature，whichicalled`leavingaMargin。\'Forexample；supposingHerbert\'sdebtstobeonehundredandsixty-fourpoundsfour-and-twopence，Iwouldsay，`Leaveamargin，andputthemdownattwohundred。\'Or，supposingmyowntobefourtimesasmuch，Iwouldleaveamargin，andputthemdownatsevenhundred。IhadthehighestopinionofthewisdomofthissameMargin，butIamboundtoacknowledgethatonlookingback，Ideemittohavebeenanexpensivedevice。
For，wealwaysranintonewdebtimmediately，tothefullextentofthemargin，andsometimes，inthesenseoffreedomandsolvencyitimparted，gotprettyfaronintoanothermargin。
Buttherewasacalm，arest，avirtuoushush，consequentontheseexaminationsofouraffairsthatgaveme，forthetime，anadmirableopinionofmyself。
Soothedbymyexertions，mymethod，andHerbert\'scompliments，Iwouldsitwithhissymmetricalbundleandmyownonthetablebeforemeamongthestationary，andfeellikeaBankofsomesort，ratherthanaprivateindividual。
Weshutourouterdooronthesesolemnoccasions，inorderthatwemightnotbeinterrupted。Ihadfallenintomyserenestateoneevening，whenweheardaletterdroppedthroughtheslitinthesaiddoor，andfallontheground。`It\'sforyou，Handel，\'saidHerbert，goingoutandcomingbackwithit，`andIhopethereisnothingthematter。\'Thiswasinallusiontoitsheavyblacksealandborder。
TheletterwassignedTRABB&；CO。，anditscontentsweresimply，thatIwasanhonouredsir，andthattheybeggedtoinformmethatMrsJ。GargeryhaddepartedthislifeonMondaylast，attwentyminutespastsixintheevening，andthatmyattendancewasrequestedattheintermentonMondaynextatthreeo\'clockintheafternoon。
Chapter35
ITwasthefirsttimethatagravehadopenedinmyroadoflife，andthegapitmadeinthesmoothgroundwaswonderful。Thefigureofmysisterinherchairbythekitchenfire，hauntedmenightandday。Thattheplacecouldpossiblybe，withouther，wassomethingmymindseemedunabletocompass；andwhereasshehadseldomorneverbeeninmythoughtsoflate，Ihadnowthestrangestideasthatshewascomingtowardsmeinthestreet，orthatshewouldpresentlyknockatthedoor。Inmyroomstoo，withwhichshehadneverbeenatallassociated，therewasatoncetheblanknessofdeathandaperpetualsuggestionofthesoundofhervoiceortheturnofherfaceorfigure，asifshewerestillaliveandhadbeenoftenthere。
Whatevermyfortunesmighthavebeen，Icouldscarcelyhaverecalledmysisterwithmuchtenderness。ButIsupposethereisashockofregretwhichmayexistwithoutmuchtenderness。UnderitsinfluenceandperhapstomakeupforthewantofthesofterfeelingIwasseizedwithaviolentindignationagainsttheassailantfromwhomshehadsufferedsomuch；andIfeltthatonsufficientproofIcouldhaverevengefullypursuedOrlick，oranyoneelse，tothelastextremity。
HavingwrittentoJoe，toofferconsolation，andtoassurehimthatIshouldcometothefuneral，IpassedtheintermediatedaysinthecuriousstateofmindIhaveglancedat。Iwentdownearlyinthemorning，andalightedattheBlueBoaringoodtimetowalkovertotheforge。
Itwasfinesummerweatheragain，and，asIwalkedalong，thetimeswhenIwasalittlehelplesscreature，andmysisterdidnotspareme，vividlyreturned。ButtheyreturnedwithagentletoneuponthemthatsoftenedeventheedgeofTickler。Fornow，theverybreathofthebeansandcloverwhisperedtomyheartthatthedaymustcomewhenitwouldbewellformymemorythatotherswalkinginthesunshineshouldbesoftenedastheythoughtofme。
AtlastIcamewithinsightofthehouse，andsawthatTrabbandCo。
hadputinafunerealexecutionandtakenpossession。Twodismallyabsurdpersons，eachostentatiouslyexhibitingacrutchdoneupinablackbandage-asifthatinstrumentcouldpossiblycommunicateanycomforttoanybody-werepostedatthefrontdoor；andinoneofthemIrecognizedapostboydischargedfromtheBoarforturningayoungcoupleintoasawpitontheirbridalmorning，inconsequenceofintoxicationrenderingitnecessaryforhimtoridehishorseclaspedroundtheneckwithbotharms。Allthechildrenofthevillage，andmostofthewomen，wereadmiringthesesablewardersandtheclosedwindowsofthehouseandforge；andasIcameup，oneofthetwowardersthepostboyknockedatthedoor-implyingthatIwasfartoomuchexhaustedbygrief，tohavestrengthremainingtoknockformyself。
Anothersablewarderacarpenter，whohadonceeatentwogeeseforawageropenedthedoor，andshowedmeintothebestparlour。Here，MrTrabbhadtakenuntohimselfthebesttable，andhadgotalltheleavesup，andwasholdingakindofblackBazaar，withtheaidofaquantityofblackpins。Atthemomentofmyarrival，hehadjustfinishedputtingsomebody\'shatintoblacklong-clothes，likeanAfricanbaby；soheheldouthishandformine。ButI，misledbytheaction，andconfusedbytheoccasion，shookhandswithhimwitheverytestimonyofwarmaffection。
PoordearJoe，entangledinalittleblackcloaktiedinalargebowunderhischin，wasseatedapartattheupperendoftheroom；where，aschiefmourner，hehadevidentlybeenstationedbyTrabb。WhenIbentdownandsaidtohim，`DearJoe，howareyou？\'hesaid，`Pip，oldchap，youknowedherwhenshewereafinefigureofa——\'andclaspedmyhandandsaidnomore。
Biddy，lookingveryneatandmodestinherblackdress，wentquietlyhereandthere，andwasveryhelpful。WhenIhadspokentoBiddy，asI
thoughtitnotatimefortalkingIwentandsatdownnearJoe，andtherebegantowonderinwhatpartofthehouseit-she-mysister-was。Theairoftheparlourbeingfaintwiththesmellofsweetcake，Ilookedaboutforthetableofrefreshments；itwasscarcelyvisibleuntilonehadgotaccustomedtothegloom，buttherewasacut-upplum-cakeuponit，andtherewerecut-uporanges，andsandwiches，andbiscuits，andtwodecantersthatIknewverywellasornaments，buthadneverseenusedinallmylife；
onefullofport，andoneofsherry。Standingatthistable，IbecameconsciousoftheservilePumblechookinablackcloakandseveralyardsofhatband，whowasalternatelystuffinghimself，andmakingobsequiousmovementstocatchmyattention。Themomenthesucceeded，hecameovertomebreathingsherryandcrumbs，andsaidinasubduedvoice，`MayI，dearsir？\'anddid。IthendescriedMrandMrsHubble；thelast-namedinadecentspeechlessparoxysminacorner。Wewereallgoingto`follow，\'andwereallincourseofbeingtiedupseparatelybyTrabbintoridiculousbundles。
`WhichImeantersay，Pip，\'Joewhisperedme，aswewerebeingwhatMrTrabbcalled`formed\'intheparlour，twoandtwo-anditwasdreadfullylikeapreparationforsomegrimkindofdance；`whichImeantersay，sir，asIwouldinpreferencehavecarriedhertothechurchmyself，alongwiththreeorfourfriendlyoneswotcometoitwithwillinghartsandarms，butitwereconsideredwottheneighbourswouldlookdownonsuchandwouldbeofopinionsasitwerewantinginrespect。\'
`Pocket-handkerchiefsout，all！\'criedMrTrabbatthispoint，inadepressedbusiness-likevoice。`Pocket-handkerchiefsout！Weareready！\'
So，weallputourpocket-handkerchiefstoourfaces，asifournoseswerebleeding，andfiledouttwoandtwo；JoeandI；BiddyandPumblechook；
MrandMrsHubble。Theremainsofmypoorsisterhadbeenbroughtroundbythekitchendoor，and，itbeingapointofUndertakingceremonythatthesixbearersmustbestifledandblindedunderahorribleblackvelvethousingwithawhiteborder，thewholelookedlikeablindmonsterwithtwelvehumanlegs，shufflingandblunderingalong，undertheguidanceoftwokeepers-thepostboyandhiscomrade。
Theneighbourhood，however，highlyapprovedofthesearrangements，andweweremuchadmiredaswewentthroughthevillage；themoreyouthfulandvigorouspartofthecommunitymakingdashesnowandthentocutusoff，andlyinginwaittointerceptusatpointsofvantage。Atsuchtimesthemoreexuberantamongthemcalledoutinanexcitedmanneronouremergenceroundsomecornerofexpectancy，`Heretheycome！\'`Heretheyare！\'andwewereallbutcheered。InthisprogressIwasmuchannoyedbytheabjectPumblechook，who，beingbehindme，persistedallthewayasadelicateattentioninarrangingmystreaminghatband，andsmoothingmycloak。MythoughtswerefurtherdistractedbytheexcessiveprideofMrandMrsHubble，whoweresurpassinglyconceitedandvaingloriousinbeingmembersofsodistinguishedaprocession。
Andnow，therangeofmarsheslayclearbeforeus，withthesailsoftheshipsontherivergrowingoutofit；andwewentintothechurchyard，closetothegravesofmyunknownparents，PhilipPirrip，lateofthisparish，andAlsoGeorgiana，WifeoftheAbove。Andthere，mysisterwaslaidquietlyintheearthwhilethelarkssanghighaboveit，andthelightwindstreweditwithbeautifulshadowsofcloudsandtrees。
Oftheconductoftheworldly-mindedPumblechookwhilethiswasdoing，Idesiretosaynomorethanitwasalladdressedtome；andthatevenwhenthosenoblepassageswerereadwhichremindhumanityhowitbroughtnothingintotheworldandcantakenothingout，andhowitfleethlikeashadowandnevercontinuethlonginonestay，Iheardhimcoughareservationofthecaseofayounggentlemanwhocameunexpectedlyintolargeproperty。
Whenwegotback，hehadthehardihoodtotellmethathewishedmysistercouldhaveknownIhaddonehersomuchhonour，andtohintthatshewouldhaveconsidereditreasonablypurchasedatthepriceofherdeath。Afterthat，hedrankalltherestofthesherry，andMrHubbledranktheport，andthetwotalkedwhichIhavesinceobservedtobecustomaryinsuchcasesasiftheywereofquiteanotherracefromthedeceased，andwerenotoriouslyimmortal。Finally，hewentawaywithMrandMrsHubble-tomakeaneveningofit，Ifeltsure，andtotelltheJollyBargementhathewasthefounderofmyfortunesandmyearliestbenefactor。
Whentheywereallgone，andwhenTrabbandhismen-butnothisboy:
Ilookedforhim-hadcrammedtheirmummeryintobags，andweregonetoo，thehousefeltwholesomer。Soonafterwards，Biddy，Joe，andI，hadacolddinnertogether；butwedinedinthebestparlour，notintheoldkitchen，andJoewassoexceedinglyparticularwhathedidwithhisknifeandforkandthesaltcellarandwhatnot，thattherewasgreatrestraintuponus。
Butafterdinner，whenImadehimtakehispipe，andwhenIhadloiteredwithhimabouttheforge，andwhenwesatdowntogetheronthegreatblockofstoneoutsideit，wegotonbetter。InoticedthatafterthefuneralJoechangedhisclothessofar，astomakeacompromisebetweenhisSundaydressandworkingdress:inwhichthedearfellowlookednatural，andliketheManhewas。
HewasverymuchpleasedbymyaskingifImightsleepinmyownlittleroom，andIwaspleasedtoo；for，IfeltthatIhaddoneratheragreatthinginmakingtherequest。Whentheshadowsofeveningwereclosingin，ItookanopportunityofgettingintothegardenwithBiddyforalittletalk。
`Biddy，\'saidI，`Ithinkyoumighthavewrittentomeaboutthesesadmatters。\'
`Doyou，MrPip？\'saidBiddy。`IshouldhavewrittenifIhadthoughtthat。\'
`Don\'tsupposethatImeantobeunkind，Biddy，whenIsayIconsiderthatyououghttohavethoughtthat。\'
`Doyou，MrPip？\'
Shewassoquiet，andhadsuchanorderly，good，andprettywaywithher，thatIdidnotlikethethoughtofmakinghercryagain。Afterlookingalittleatherdowncasteyesasshewalkedbesideme，Igaveupthatpoint。
`Isupposeitwillbedifficultforyoutoremainherenow，Biddydear？\'
`Oh！Ican\'tdoso，MrPip，\'saidBiddy，inatoneofregret，butstillofquietconviction。`IhavebeenspeakingtoMrsHubble，andIamgoingtoherto-morrow。IhopeweshallbeabletotakesomecareofMrGargery，together，untilhesettlesdown。\'
`Howareyougoingtolive，Biddy？Ifyouwantanymo——\'
`HowamIgoingtolive？\'repeatedBiddy，strikingin，withamomentaryflushuponherface。`I\'lltellyou，MrPip。Iamgoingtotrytogettheplaceofmistressinthenewschoolnearlyfinishedhere。Icanbewellrecommendedbyalltheneighbours，andIhopeIcanbeindustriousandpatient，andteachmyselfwhileIteachothers。Youknow，MrPip，\'pursuedBiddy，withasmile，assheraisedhereyestomyface，`thenewschoolsarenotliketheold，butIlearntagooddealfromyouafterthattime，andhavehadtimesincethentoimprove。\'
`Ithinkyouwouldalwaysimprove，Biddy，underanycircumstances。\'
`Ah！Exceptinmybadsideofhumannature，\'murmuredBiddy。
Itwasnotsomuchareproach，asanirresistiblethinkingaloud。Well！
IthoughtIwouldgiveupthatpointtoo。So，IwalkedalittlefurtherwithBiddy，lookingsilentlyatherdowncasteyes。
`Ihavenotheardtheparticularsofmysister\'sdeath，Biddy。\'
`Theyareveryslight，poorthing。Shehadbeeninoneofherbadstates-thoughtheyhadgotbetteroflate，ratherthanworse-forfourdays，whenshecameoutofitintheevening，justatteatime，andsaidquiteplainly，\"Joe。\"Asshehadneversaidanywordforalongwhile，IranandfetchedinMrGargeryfromtheforge。Shemadesignstomethatshewantedhimtositdownclosetoher，andwantedmetoputherarmsroundhisneck。SoIputthemroundhisneck，andshelaidherheaddownonhisshoulderquitecontentandsatisfied。Andsoshepresentlysaid\"Joe\"again，andonce\"Pardon，\"andonce\"Pip。\"Andsosheneverliftedherheadupanymore，anditwasjustanhourlaterwhenwelaiditdownonherownbed，becausewefoundshewasgone。\'
Biddycried；thedarkeninggarden，andthelane，andthestarsthatwerecomingout，wereblurredinmyownsight。
`Nothingwaseverdiscovered，Biddy？\'
`Nothing。\'
`DoyouknowwhatisbecomeofOrlick？\'
`Ishouldthinkfromthecolourofhisclothesthatheisworkinginthequarries。\'
`Ofcourseyouhaveseenhimthen？-Whyareyoulookingatthatdarktreeinthelane？\'
`Isawhimthere，onthenightshedied。\'
`Thatwasnotthelasttimeeither，Biddy？\'
`No；Ihaveseenhimthere，sincewehavebeenwalkinghere-Itisofnouse，\'saidBiddy，layingherhanduponmyarm，asIwasforrunningout，`youknowIwouldnotdeceiveyou；hewasnotthereaminute，andheisgone。\'
Itrevivedmyutmostindignationtofindthatshewasstillpursuedbythisfellow，andIfeltinveterateagainsthim。Itoldherso，andtoldherthatIwouldspendanymoneyortakeanypainstodrivehimoutofthatcountry。Bydegreessheledmeintomoretemperatetalk，andshetoldmehowJoelovedme，andhowJoenevercomplainedofanything-shedidn\'tsay，ofme；shehadnoneed；Iknewwhatshemeant-buteverdidhisdutyinhiswayoflife，withastronghand，quiettonguè；，andagentleheart。
`Indeed，itwouldbehardtosaytoomuchforhim，\'saidI；`andBiddy，wemustoftenspeakofthesethings，forofcourseIshallbeoftendownherenow。IamnotgoingtoleavepoorJoealone。\'
Biddysaidneverasingleword。
`Biddy，don\'tyouhearme？\'
`Yes，MrPip。\'
`NottomentionyourcallingmeMrPip-whichappearstometobeinbadtaste，Biddy-whatdoyoumean？\'
`WhatdoImean？\'askedBiddy，timidly。
`Biddy，\'saidI，inavirtuouslyself-assertingmanner，`Imustrequesttoknowwhatyoumeanbythis？\'
`Bythis？\'saidBiddy。
`Now，don\'techo，\'Iretorted。`Youusednottoecho，Biddy。\'
`Usednot！\'saidBiddy。`OMrPip！Used！\'
Well！IratherthoughtIwouldgiveupthatpointtoo。Afteranothersilentturninthegarden，Ifellbackonthemainposition。
`Biddy，\'saidI，`Imadearemarkrespectingmycomingdownhereoften，toseeJoe，whichyoureceivedwithamarkedsilence。Havethegoodness，Biddy，totellmewhy。\'
`Areyouquitesure，then，thatyouWILLcometoseehimoften？\'askedBiddy，stoppinginthenarrowgardenwalk，andlookingatmeunderthestarswithaclearandhonesteye。
`Ohdearme！\'saidI，asifIfoundmyselfcompelledtogiveupBiddyindespair。`Thisreallyisaverybadsideofhumannature！Don\'tsayanymore，ifyouplease，Biddy。Thisshocksmeverymuch。\'
ForwhichcogentreasonIkeptBiddyatadistanceduringsupper，and，whenIwentuptomyownoldlittleroom，tookasstatelyaleaveofherasIcould，inmymurmuringsoul，deemreconcilablewiththechurchyardandtheeventoftheday。AsoftenasIwasrestlessinthenight，andthatwaseveryquarterofanhour，Ireflectedwhatanunkindness，whataninjury，whataninjustice，Biddyhaddoneme。
Earlyinthemorning，Iwastogo。Earlyinthemorning，Iwasout，andlookingin，unseen，atoneofthewoodenwindowsoftheforge。ThereIstood，forminutes，lookingatJoe，alreadyatworkwithaglowofhealthandstrengthuponhisfacethatmadeitshowasifthebrightsunofthelifeinstoreforhimwereshiningonit。
`Good-bye，dearJoe！-No，don\'twipeitoff-forGod\'ssake，givemeyourblackenedhand！-Ishallbedownsoon，andoften。\'
`Nevertoosoon，sir，\'saidJoe，`andnevertoooften，Pip！\'
Biddywaswaitingformeatthekitchendoor，withamugofnewmilkandacrustofbread。`Biddy，\'saidI，whenIgavehermyhandatparting，`Iamnotangry，butIamhurt。\'
`No，don\'tbehurt，\'shepleadedquitepathetically；`letonlymebehurt，ifIhavebeenungenerous。\'
Oncemore，themistswererisingasIwalkedaway。Iftheydisclosedtome，asIsuspecttheydid，thatIshouldnotcomeback，andthatBiddywasquiteright，allIcansayis-theywerequiterighttoo。
Chapter36
HERBERTandIwentonfrombadtoworse，inthewayofincreasingourdebts，lookingintoouraffairs，leavingMargins，andthelikeexemplarytransactions；andTimewenton，whetherorno，ashehasawayofdoing；
andIcameofage-infulfilmentofHerbert\'sprediction，thatIshoulddosobeforeIknewwhereIwas。
Herberthimselfhadcomeofage，eightmonthsbeforeme。Ashehadnothingelsethanhismajoritytocomeinto，theeventdidnotmakeaprofoundsensationinBarnard\'sInn。Butwehadlookedforwardtomyone-and-twentiethbirthday，withacrowdofspeculationsandanticipations，forwehadbothconsideredthatmyguardiancouldhardlyhelpsayingsomethingdefiniteonthatoccasion。
IhadtakencaretohaveitwellunderstoodinLittleBritain，whenmybirthdaywas。Onthedaybeforeit，IreceivedanofficialnotefromWemmick，informingmethatMrJaggerswouldbegladifIwouldcalluponhimatfiveintheafternoonoftheauspiciousday。Thisconvincedusthatsomethinggreatwastohappen，andthrewmeintoanunusualflutterwhenIrepairedtomyguardian\'soffice，amodelofpunctuality。
IntheouterofficeWemmickofferedmehiscongratulations，andincidentallyrubbedthesideofhisnosewithafoldedpieceoftissuepaperthatIlikedthelookof。Buthesaidnothingrespectingit，andmotionedmewithanodintomyguardian\'sroom。ItwasNovember，andmyguardianwasstandingbeforehisfireleaninghisbackagainstthechimney-piece，withhishandsunderhiscoattails。
`Well，Pip，\'saidhe，`ImustcallyouMrPipto-day。Congratulations，MrPip。\'
Weshookhands-hewasalwaysaremarkablyshortshaker-andIthankedhim。
`Takeachair，MrPip，\'saidmyguardian。
AsIsatdown，andhepreservedhisattitudeandbenthisbrowsathisboots，Ifeltatadisadvantage，whichremindedmeofthatoldtimewhenIhadbeenputuponatombstone。Thetwoghastlycastsontheshelfwerenotfarfromhim，andtheirexpressionwasasiftheyweremakingastupidapoplecticattempttoattendtotheconversation。
`Nowmyyoungfriend，\'myguardianbegan，asifIwereawitnessinthebox，`Iamgoingtohaveawordortwowithyou。\'
`Ifyouplease，sir。\'
`Whatdoyousuppose，\'saidMrJaggers，bendingforwardtolookattheground，andthenthrowinghisheadbacktolookattheceiling，`whatdoyousupposeyouarelivingattherateof？\'
`Attherateof，sir？\'
`At，\'repeatedMrJaggers，stilllookingattheceiling，`the-rate-of？\'Andthenlookedallroundtheroom，andpausedwithhispocket-handkerchiefinhishand，halfwaytohisnose。
Ihadlookedintomyaffairssooften，thatIhadthoroughlydestroyedanyslightnotionImighteverhavehadoftheirbearings。Reluctantly，Iconfessedmyselfquiteunabletoanswerthequestion。ThisreplyseemedagreeabletoMrJaggers，whosaid，`Ithoughtso！\'andblewhisnosewithanairofsatisfaction。
`Now，Ihaveaskedyouaquestion，myfriend，\'saidMrJaggers。
`Haveyouanythingtoaskme？\'
`Ofcourseitwouldbeagreatrelieftometoaskyouseveralquestions，sir；butIrememberyourprohibition。\'
`Askone，\'saidMrJaggers。
`Ismybenefactortobemadeknowntometo-day？\'
`No。Askanother。\'
`Isthatconfidencetobeimpartedtomesoon？\'
`Waivethat，amoment，\'saidMrJaggers，`andaskanother。\'
Ilookedaboutme，butthereappearedtobenownopossibleescapefromtheinquiry，`Have-I-anythingtoreceive，sir？\'Onthat，MrJaggerssaid，triumphantly，`Ithoughtweshouldcometoit！\'andcalledtoWemmicktogivehimthatpieceofpaper。Wemmickappeared，handeditin，anddisappeared。
`Now，MrPip，\'saidMrJaggers，`attend，ifyouplease。Youhavebeendrawingprettyfreelyhere；yournameoccursprettyofteninWemmick\'scash-book；butyouareindebt，ofcourse？\'
`IamafraidImustsayyes，sir。\'
`Youknowyoumustsayyes；don\'tyou？\'saidMrJaggers。
`Yes，sir。\'
`Idon\'taskyouwhatyouowe，becauseyoudon\'tknow；andifyoudidknow，youwouldn\'ttellme；youwouldsayless。Yes，yes，myfriend，\'criedMrJaggers，wavinghisforefingertostopme，asImadeashowofprotesting:
`it\'slikelyenoughthatyouthinkyouwouldn\'t，butyouwould。You\'llexcuseme，butIknowbetterthanyou。Now，takethispieceofpaperinyourhand。Youhavegotit？Verygood。Now，unfolditandtellmewhatitis。\'
`Thisisabank-note，\'saidI，`forfivehundredpounds。\'
`Thatisabank-note，\'repeatedMrJaggers，`forfivehundredpounds。
Andaveryhandsomesumofmoneytoo，Ithink。Youconsideritso？\'
`HowcouldIdootherwise！\'
`Ah！Butanswerthequestion，\'saidMrJaggers。
`Undoubtedly。\'
`Youconsiderit，undoubtedly，ahandsomesumofmoney。Now，thathandsomesumofmoney，Pip，isyourown。Itisapresenttoyouonthisday，inearnestofyourexpectations。Andattherateofthathandsomesumofmoneyperannum，andatnohigherrate，youaretoliveuntilthedonorofthewholeappears。Thatistosay，youwillnowtakeyourmoneyaffairsentirelyintoyourownhands，andyouwilldrawfromWemmickonehundredandtwenty-fivepoundsperquarter，untilyouareincommunicationwiththefountain-head，andnolongerwiththemereagent。AsIhavetoldyoubefore，Iamthemereagent。Iexecutemyinstructions，andIampaidfordoingso。Ithinktheminjudicious，butIamnotpaidforgivinganyopinionontheirmerits。\'
IwasbeginningtoexpressmygratitudetomybenefactorforthegreatliberalitywithwhichIwastreated，whenMrJaggersstoppedme。`Iamnotpaid，Pip，\'saidhe，coolly，`tocarryyourwordstoanyone；\'andthengathereduphiscoat-tails，ashehadgatheredupthesubject，andstoodfrowningathisbootsasifhesuspectedthemofdesignsagainsthim。
Afterapause，Ihinted:
`Therewasaquestionjustnow，MrJaggers，whichyoudesiredmetowaiveforamoment。IhopeIamdoingnothingwronginaskingitagain？\'
`Whatisit？\'saidhe。
Imighthaveknownthathewouldneverhelpmeout；butittookmeabacktohavetoshapethequestionafresh，asifitwerequitenew。`Isitlikely，\'
Isaid，afterhesitating，`thatmypatron，thefountain-headyouhavespokenof，MrJaggers，willsoon——\'thereIdelicatelystopped。
`Willsoonwhat？\'askedMrJaggers。`That\'snoquestionasitstands，youknow。\'
`WillsooncometoLondon，\'saidI，aftercastingaboutforapreciseformofwords，`orsummonmeanywhereelse？\'
`Nowhere，\'repliedMrJaggers，fixingmeforthefirsttimewithhisdarkdeep-seteyes，`wemustreverttotheeveningwhenwefirstencounteredoneanotherinyourvillage。WhatdidItellyouthen，Pip？\'
`Youtoldme，MrJaggers，thatitmightbeyearshencewhenthatpersonappeared。\'
`Justso，\'saidMrJaggers；`that\'smyanswer。\'
Aswelookedfullatoneanother，Ifeltmybreathcomequickerinmystrongdesiretogetsomethingoutofhim。AndasIfeltthatitcamequicker，andasIfeltthathesawthatitcamequicker，IfeltthatIhadlesschancethaneverofgettinganythingoutofhim。
`Doyousupposeitwillstillbeyearshence，MrJaggers？\'
MrJaggersshookhishead-notinnegativingthequestion，butinaltogethernegativingthenotionthathecouldanyhowbegottoanswerit-andthetwohorriblecastsofthetwitchedfaceslooked，whenmyeyesstrayeduptothem，asiftheyhadcometoacrisisintheirsuspendedattention，andweregoingtosneeze。
`Come！\'saidMrJaggers，warmingthebacksofhislegswiththebacksofhiswarmedhands，`I\'llbeplainwithyou，myfriendPip。That\'saquestionImustnotbeasked。You\'llunderstandthat，better，whenItellyouit\'saquestionthatmightcompromiseme。Come！I\'llgoalittlefurtherwithyou；I\'llsaysomethingmore。\'
Hebentdownsolowtofrownathisboots，thathewasabletorubthecalvesofhislegsinthepausehemade。
`Whenthatpersondiscloses，\'saidMrJaggers，straighteninghimself，`youandthatpersonwillsettleyourownaffairs。Whenthatpersondiscloses，mypartinthisbusinesswillceaseanddetermine。Whenthatpersondiscloses，itwillnotbenecessaryformetoknowanythingaboutit。Andthat\'sallIhavegottosay。\'
WelookedatoneanotheruntilIwithdrewmyeyes，andlookedthoughtfullyatthefloor。FromthislastspeechIderivedthenotionthatMissHavisham，forsomereasonornoreason，hadnottakenhimintoherconfidenceastoherdesigningmeforEstella；thatheresentedthis，andfeltajealousyaboutit；orthathereallydidobjecttothatscheme，andwouldhavenothingtodowithit。WhenIraisedmyeyesagain，Ifoundthathehadbeenshrewdlylookingatmeallthetime，andwasdoingsostill。
`Ifthatisallyouhavetosay，sir，\'Iremarked，`therecanbenothingleftformetosay。\'
Henoddedassent，andpulledouthisthief-dreadedwatch，andaskedmewhereIwasgoingtodine？Irepliedatmyownchambers，withHerbert。
Asanecessarysequence，Iaskedhimifhewouldfavouruswithhiscompany，andhepromptlyacceptedtheinvitation。Butheinsistedonwalkinghomewithme，inorderthatImightmakenoextrapreparationforhim，andfirsthehadaletterortwotowrite，andofcoursehadhishandstowash。
So，IsaidIwouldgointotheouterofficeandtalktoWemmick。
Thefactwas，thatwhenthefivehundredpoundshadcomeintomypocket，athoughthadcomeintomyheadwhichhadbeenoftentherebefore；anditappearedtomethatWemmickwasagoodpersontoadvisewith，concerningsuchthought。
Hehadalreadylockeduphissafe，andmadepreparationsforgoinghome。
Hehadlefthisdesk，broughtouthistwogreasyofficecandlesticksandstoodtheminlinewiththesnuffersonaslabnearthedoor，readytobeextinguished；hehadrakedhisfirelow，puthishatandgreat-coatready，andwasbeatinghimselfalloverthechestwithhissafe-key，asanathleticexerciseafterbusiness。
`MrWemmick，\'saidI，`Iwanttoaskyouropinion。Iamverydesiroustoserveafriend。\'
Wemmicktightenedhispost-officeandshookhishead，asifhisopinionweredeadagainstanyfatalweaknessofthatsort。
`Thisfriend，\'Ipursued，`istryingtogetonincommerciallife，buthasnomoney，andfindsitdifficultanddishearteningtomakeabeginning。
Now，Iwantsomehowtohelphimtoabeginning。\'
`Withmoneydown？\'saidWemmick，inatonedrierthananysawdust。
`Withsomemoneydown，\'Ireplied，foranuneasyremembranceshotacrossmeofthatsymmetricalbundleofpapersathome；`withsomemoneydown，andperhapssomeanticipationofmyexpectations。\'
`MrPip，\'saidWemmick，`Ishouldlikejusttorunoverwithyouonmyfingers，ifyouplease，thenamesofthevariousbridgesupashighasChelseaReach。Let\'ssee；there\'sLondon，one；Southwark，two；Blackfriars，three；Waterloo，four；Westminster，five；Vauxhall，six。\'Hehadcheckedoffeachbridgeinitsturn，withthehandleofhissafe-keyonthepalmofhishand。`There\'sasmanyassix，yousee，tochoosefrom。\'
`Idon\'tunderstandyou，\'saidI。
`Chooseyourbridge，MrPip，\'returnedWemmick，`andtakeawalkuponyourbridge，andpitchyourmoneyintotheThamesoverthecentrearchofyourbridge，andyouknowtheendofit。Serveafriendwithit，andyoumayknowtheendofittoo-butit\'salesspleasantandprofitableend。\'
Icouldhavepostedanewspaperinhismouth，hemadeitsowideaftersayingthis。
`Thisisverydiscouraging，\'saidI。
`Meanttobeso，\'saidWemmick。
`Thenisityouropinion，\'Iinquired，withsomelittleindignation，`thatamanshouldnever——\'
`-Investportablepropertyinafriend？\'saidWemmick。`Certainlyheshouldnot。Unlesshewantstogetridofthefriend-andthenitbecomesaquestionhowmuchportablepropertyitmaybeworthtogetridofhim。\'
`Andthat，\'saidI，`isyourdeliberateopinion，MrWemmick？\'
`That，\'hereturned，`ismydeliberateopinioninthisoffice。\'
`Ah！\'saidI，pressinghim，forIthoughtIsawhimnearaloopholehere；`butwouldthatbeyouropinionatWalworth？\'
`MrPip，\'hereplied，withgravity，`Walworthisoneplace，andthisofficeisanother。MuchastheAgedisoneperson，andMrJaggersisanother。
Theymustnotbeconfoundedtogether。MyWalworthsentimentsmustbetakenatWalworth；nonebutmyofficialsentimentscanbetakeninthisoffice。\'
`Verywell，\'saidI，muchrelieved，`thenIshalllookyouupatWalworth，youmaydependuponit。\'
`MrPip，\'hereturned，`youwillbewelcomethere，inaprivateandpersonalcapacity。\'
Wehadheldthisconversationinalowvoice，wellknowingmyguardian\'searstobethesharpestofthesharp。Ashenowappearedinhisdoorway，towellinghishands，Wemmickgotonhisgreatcoatandstoodbytosnuffoutthecandles。Weallthreewentintothestreettogether，andfromthedoor-stepWemmickturnedhisway，andMrJaggersandIturnedours。
Icouldnothelpwishingmorethanoncethatevening，thatMrJaggershadhadanAgedinGerrard-street，oraStinger，oraSomething，oraSomebody，tounbendhisbrowsalittle。Itwasanuncomfortableconsiderationonatwenty-firstbirthday，thatcomingofageatallseemedhardlyworthwhileinsuchaguardedandsuspiciousworldashemadeofit。HewasathousandtimesbetterinformedandclevererthanWemmick，andyetIwouldathousandtimesratherhavehadWemmicktodinner。AndMrJaggersmadenotmealoneintenselymelancholy，because，afterhewasgone，Herbertsaidofhimself，withhiseyesfixedonthefire，thathethoughthemusthavecommittedafelonyandforgottenthedetailsofit，hefeltsodejectedandguilty。
Chapter37
DEEMINGSundaythebestdayfortakingMrWemmick\'sWalworthsentiments，IdevotedthenextensuingSundayafternoontoapilgrimagetotheCastle。
Onarrivingbeforethebattlements，IfoundtheUnionJackflyingandthedrawbridgeup；butundeterredbythisshowofdefianceandresistance，Irangatthegate，andwasadmittedinamostpacificmannerbytheAged。
`Myson，sir，\'saidtheoldman，aftersecuringthedrawbridge，`ratherhaditinhismindthatyoumighthappentodropin，andheleftwordthathewouldsoonbehomefromhisafternoon\'swalk。Heisveryregularinhiswalks，ismyson。Veryregularineverything，ismyson。\'
InoddedattheoldgentlemanasWemmickhimselfmighthavenodded，andwewentinandsatdownbythefireside。
`Youmadeacquaintancewithmyson，sir，\'saidtheoldman，inhischirpingway，whilehewarmedhishandsattheblaze，`athisoffice，Iexpect？\'
Inodded。`Hah！Ihaveheerdthatmysonisawonderfulhandathisbusiness，sir？\'Inoddedhard。`Yes；sotheytellme。HisbusinessistheLaw？\'I
noddedharder。`Whichmakesitmoresurprisinginmyson，\'saidtheoldman，`forhewasnotbroughtuptotheLaw，buttotheWine-Coopering。\'
CurioustoknowhowtheoldgentlemanstoodinformedconcerningthereputationofMrJaggers，Iroaredthatnameathim。Hethrewmeintothegreatestconfusionbylaughingheartilyandreplyinginaverysprightlymanner，`No，tobesure；you\'reright。\'AndtothishourIhavenotthefaintestnotionwhathemeant，orwhatjokehethoughtIhadmade。
AsIcouldnotsittherenoddingathimperpetually，withoutmakingsomeotherattempttointeresthim，Ishoutedatinquirywhetherhisowncallinginlifehadbeen`theWine-Coopering。\'Bydintofstrainingthattermoutofmyselfseveraltimesandtappingtheoldgentlemanonthechesttoassociateitwithhim，Iatlastsucceededinmakingmymeaningunderstood。
`No，\'saidtheoldgentleman；`thewarehousing，thewarehousing。First，overyonder；\'heappearedtomeanupthechimney，butIbelieveheintendedtorefermetoLiverpool；`andthenintheCityofLondonhere。However，havinganinfirmity-forIamhardofhearing，sir——\'
Iexpressedinpantomimethegreatestastonishment。
`-Yes，hardofhearing；havingthatinfirmitycominguponme，mysonhewentintotheLaw，andhetookchargeofme，andhebylittleandlittlemadeoutthiselegantandbeautifulproperty。Butreturningtowhatyousaid，youknow，\'pursuedtheoldman，againlaughingheartily，`whatI
sayis，Notobesure；you\'reright。\'
Iwasmodestlywonderingwhethermyutmostingenuitywouldhaveenabledmetosayanythingthatwouldhaveamusedhimhalfasmuchasthisimaginarypleasantry，whenIwasstartledbyasuddenclickinthewallononesideofthechimney，andtheghostlytumblingopenofalittlewoodenflapwith`JOHN\'uponit。Theoldman，followingmyeyes，criedwithgreattriumph，`Myson\'scomehome！\'andwebothwentouttothedrawbridge。
ItwasworthanymoneytoseeWemmickwavingasalutetomefromtheothersideofthemoat，whenwemighthaveshakenhandsacrossitwiththegreatestease。TheAgedwassodelightedtoworkthedrawbridge，thatImadenooffertoassisthim，butstoodquietuntilWemmickhadcomeacross，andhadpresentedmetoMissSkiffins:aladybywhomhewasaccompanied。
MissSkiffinswasofawoodenappearance，andwas，likeherescort，inthepost-officebranchoftheservice。ShemighthavebeensometwoorthreeyearsyoungerthanWemmick，andIjudgedhertostandpossessedofportableproperty。Thecutofherdressfromthewaistupward，bothbeforeandbehind，madeherfigureverylikeaboy\'skite；andImighthavepronouncedhergownalittletoodecidedlyorange，andherglovesalittletoointenselygreen。Butsheseemedtobeagoodsortoffellow，andshowedahighregardfortheAged。IwasnotlongindiscoveringthatshewasafrequentvisitorattheCastle；for，onourgoingin，andmycomplimentingWemmickonhisingeniouscontrivanceforannouncinghimselftotheAged，hebeggedmetogivemyattentionforamomenttotheothersideofthechimney，anddisappeared。Presentlyanotherclickcame，andanotherlittledoortumbledopenwith`MissSkiffins\'onit；thenMissSkiffinsshutupandJohntumbledopen；thenMissSkiffinsandJohnbothtumbledopentogether，andfinallyshutuptogether。OnWemmick\'sreturnfromworkingthesemechanicalappliances，IexpressedthegreatadmirationwithwhichIregardedthem，andhesaid，`Well，youknow，they\'rebothpleasantandusefultotheAged。AndbyGeorge，sir，it\'sathingworthmentioning，thatofallthepeoplewhocometothisgate，thesecretofthosepullsisonlyknowntotheAged，MissSkiffins，andme！\'
`AndMrWemmickmadethem，\'addedMissSkiffins，`withhisownhandsoutofhisownhead。\'
WhileMissSkiffinswastakingoffherbonnetsheretainedhergreenglovesduringtheeveningasanoutwardandvisiblesignthattherewascompany，Wemmickinvitedmetotakeawalkwithhimroundtheproperty，andseehowtheislandlookedinwintertime。ThinkingthathedidthistogivemeanopportunityoftakinghisWalworthsentiments，IseizedtheopportunityassoonaswewereoutoftheCastle。
Havingthoughtofthematterwithcare，IapproachedmysubjectasifIhadneverhintedatitbefore。IinformedWemmickthatIwasanxiousinbehalfofHerbertPocket，andItoldhimhowwehadfirstmet，andhowwehadfought。IglancedatHerbert\'shome，andathischaracter，andathishavingnomeansbutsuchashewasdependentonhisfatherfor:those，uncertainandunpunctual。
IalludedtotheadvantagesIhadderivedinmyfirstrawnessandignorancefromhissociety，andIconfessedthatIfearedIhadbutillrepaidthem，andthathemighthavedonebetterwithoutmeandmyexpectations。KeepingMissHavishaminthebackgroundatagreatdistance，Istillhintedatthepossibilityofmyhavingcompetedwithhiminhisprospects，andatthecertaintyofhispossessingageneroussoul，andbeingfaraboveanymeandistrusts，retaliations，ordesigns。ForallthesereasonsItoldWemmick，andbecausehewasmyyoungcompanionandfriend，andIhadagreataffectionforhim，Iwishedmyowngoodfortunetoreflectsomeraysuponhim，andthereforeIsoughtadvicefromWemmick\'sexperienceandknowledgeofmenandaffairs，howIcouldbesttrywithmyresourcestohelpHerberttosomepresentincome-sayofahundredayear，tokeephimingoodhopeandheart-andgraduallytobuyhimontosomesmallpartnership。IbeggedWemmick，inconclusion，tounderstandthatmyhelpmustalwaysberenderedwithoutHerbert\'sknowledgeorsuspicion，andthattherewasnooneelseintheworldwithwhomIcouldadvise。Iwoundupbylayingmyhanduponhisshoulder，andsaying，`Ican\'thelpconfidinginyou，thoughIknowitmustbetroublesometoyou；butthatisyourfault，inhavingeverbroughtmehere。\'
Wemmickwassilentforalittlewhile，andthensaidwithakindofstart，`Wellyouknow，MrPip，Imusttellyouonething。Thisisdevilishgoodofyou。\'
`Sayyou\'llhelpmetobegoodthen，\'saidI。
`Ecod，\'repliedWemmick，shakinghishead，`that\'snotmytrade。\'
`Noristhisyourtrading-place，\'saidI。
`Youareright，\'hereturned。`Youhitthenailonthehead。MrPip，I\'llputonmyconsidering-cap，andIthinkallyouwanttodo，maybedonebydegrees。Skiffinsthat\'sherbrotherisanaccountantandagent。
I\'lllookhimupandgotoworkforyou。\'
`Ithankyoutenthousandtimes。\'
`Onthecontrary，\'saidhe，`Ithankyou，forthoughwearestrictlyinourprivateandpersonalcapacity，stillitmaybementionedthatthereareNewgatecobwebsabout，anditbrushesthemaway。\'
Afteralittlefurtherconversationtothesameeffect，wereturnedintotheCastlewherewefoundMissSkiffinspreparingtea。TheresponsibledutyofmakingthetoastwasdelegatedtotheAged，andthatexcellentoldgentlemanwassointentuponitthatheseemedtomeinsomedangerofmeltinghiseyes。Itwasnonominalmealthatweweregoingtomake，butavigorousreality。TheAgedpreparedsuchahaystackofbutteredtoast，thatIcouldscarcelyseehimoveritasitsimmeredonanironstandhookedontothetop-bar；whileMissSkiffinsbrewedsuchajorumoftea，thatthepiginthebackpremisesbecamestronglyexcited，andrepeatedlyexpressedhisdesiretoparticipateintheentertainment。
Theflaghadbeenstruck，andthegunhadbeenfired，attherightmomentoftime，andIfeltassnuglycutofffromtherestofWalworthasifthemoatwerethirtyfeetwidebyasmanydeep。NothingdisturbedthetranquillityoftheCastle，buttheoccasionaltumblingopenofJohnandMissSkiffins:
whichlittledoorswereapreytosomespasmodicinfirmitythatmademesympatheticallyuncomfortableuntilIgotusedtoit。IinferredfromthemethodicalnatureofMissSkiffins\'sarrangementsthatshemadeteathereeverySundaynight；andIrathersuspectedthataclassicbroochshewore，representingtheprofileofanundesirablefemalewithaverystraightnoseandaverynewmoon，wasapieceofportablepropertythathadbeengivenherbyWemmick。
Weatethewholeofthetoast，anddrankteainproportion，anditwasdelightfultoseehowwarmandgreasyweallgotafterit。TheAgedespecially，mighthavepassedforsomecleanoldchiefofasavagetribe，justoiled。
Afterashortpauseofrepose，MissSkiffins-intheabsenceofthelittleservantwho，itseemed，retiredtothebosomofherfamilyonSundayafternoons-washedupthetea-things，inatriflinglady-likeamateurmannerthatcompromisednoneofus。Then，sheputonherglovesagain，andwedrewroundthefire，andWemmicksaid，`NowAgedParent，tipusthepaper。\'