Chapter1
MYfather\'sfamilynamebeingPirrip，andmychristiannamePhilip，myinfanttonguecouldmakeofbothnamesnothinglongerormoreexplicitthanPip。So，IcalledmyselfPip，andcametobecalledPip。
IgivePirripasmyfather\'sfamilyname，ontheauthorityofhistombstoneandmysister-MrsJoeGargery，whomarriedtheblacksmith。AsIneversawmyfatherormymother，andneversawanylikenessofeitherofthemfortheirdayswerelongbeforethedaysofphotographs，myfirstfanciesregardingwhattheywerelike，wereunreasonablyderivedfromtheirtombstones。
Theshapeofthelettersonmyfather\'s，gavemeanoddideathathewasasquare，stout，darkman，withcurlyblackhair。Fromthecharacterandturnoftheinscription，`AlsoGeorgianaWifeoftheAbove，\'Idrewachildishconclusionthatmymotherwasfreckledandsickly。Tofivelittlestonelozenges，eachaboutafootandahalflong，whichwerearrangedinaneatrowbesidetheirgrave，andweresacredtothememoryoffivelittlebrothersofmine-whogaveuptryingtogetaliving，exceedinglyearlyinthatuniversalstruggle-IamindebtedforabeliefIreligiouslyentertainedthattheyhadallbeenbornontheirbackswiththeirhandsintheirtrousers-pockets，andhadnevertakenthemoutinthisstateofexistence。
Ourswasthemarshcountry，downbytheriver，within，astheriverwound，twentymilesofthesea。Myfirstmostvividandbroadimpressionoftheidentityofthings，seemstometohavebeengainedonamemorablerawafternoontowardsevening。AtsuchatimeIfoundoutforcertain，thatthisbleakplaceovergrownwithnettleswasthechurchyard；andthatPhilipPirrip，lateofthisparish，andalsoGeorgianawifeoftheabove，weredeadandburied；andthatAlexander，Bartholomew，Abraham，Tobias，andRoger，infantchildrenoftheaforesaid，werealsodeadandburied；
andthatthedarkflatwildernessbeyondthechurchyard，intersectedwithdykesandmoundsandgates，withscatteredcattlefeedingonit，wasthemarshes；andthatthelowleadenlinebeyond，wastheriver；andthatthedistantsavagelairfromwhichthewindwasrushing，wasthesea；andthatthesmallbundleofshiversgrowingafraidofitallandbeginningtocry，wasPip。
`Holdyournoise！\'criedaterriblevoice，asamanstartedupfromamongthegravesatthesideofthechurchporch。`Keepstill，youlittledevil，orI\'llcutyourthroat！\'
Afearfulman，allincoarsegrey，withagreatirononhisleg。Amanwithnohat，andwithbrokenshoes，andwithanoldragtiedroundhishead。Amanwhohadbeensoakedinwater，andsmotheredinmud，andlamedbystones，andcutbyflints，andstungbynettles，andtornbybriars；
wholimped，andshivered，andglaredandgrowled；andwhoseteethchatteredinhisheadasheseizedmebythechin。
`O！Don\'tcutmythroat，sir，\'Ipleadedinterror。`Praydon\'tdoit，sir。\'
`Tellusyourname！\'saidtheman。`Quick！\'
`Pip，sir。\'
`Oncemore，\'saidtheman，staringatme。`Giveitmouth！\'
`Pip。Pip，sir。\'
`Showuswhereyoulive，\'saidtheman。`Pintouttheplace！\'
Ipointedtowhereourvillagelay，ontheflatin-shoreamongthealder-treesandpollards，amileormorefromthechurch。
Theman，afterlookingatmeforamoment，turnedmeupsidedown，andemptiedmypockets。Therewasnothinginthembutapieceofbread。Whenthechurchcametoitself-forhewassosuddenandstrongthathemadeitgoheadoverheelsbeforeme，andIsawthesteepleundermyfeet-
whenthechurchcametoitself，Isay，Iwasseatedonahightombstone，trembling，whileheatethebreadravenously。
`Youyoungdog，\'saidtheman，lickinghislips，`whatfatcheeksyouha\'got。\'
Ibelievetheywerefat，thoughIwasatthattimeundersizedformyyears，andnotstrong。
`DarnMeifIcouldn\'teatem，\'saidtheman，withathreateningshakeofhishead，`andifIhan\'thalfamindto\'t！\'
Iearnestlyexpressedmyhopethathewouldn\'t，andheldtightertothetombstoneonwhichhehadputme；partly，tokeepmyselfuponit；partly，tokeepmyselffromcrying。
`Nowlookeehere！\'saidtheman。`Where\'syourmother？\'
`There，sir！\'saidI。
Hestarted，madeashortrun，andstoppedandlookedoverhisshoulder。
`There，sir！\'Itimidlyexplained。`AlsoGeorgiana。That\'smymother。\'
`Oh！\'saidhe，comingback。`Andisthatyourfatheralongeryourmother？\'
`Yes，sir，\'saidI；`himtoo；lateofthisparish。\'
`Ha！\'hemutteredthen，considering。`Whod\'yelivewith-supposin\'
you\'rekindlylettolive，whichIhan\'tmadeupmymindabout？\'
`Mysister，sir-MrsJoeGargery-wifeofJoeGargery，theblacksmith，sir。\'
`Blacksmith，eh？\'saidhe。Andlookeddownathisleg。
Afterdarklylookingathislegandmeseveraltimes，hecameclosertomytombstone，tookmebybotharms，andtiltedmebackasfarashecouldholdme；sothathiseyeslookedmostpowerfullydownintomine，andminelookedmosthelplesslyupintohis。
`Nowlookeehere，\'hesaid，`thequestionbeingwhetheryou\'retobelettolive。Youknowwhatafileis？\'
`Yes，sir。\'
`Andyouknowwhatwittlesis？\'
`Yes，sir。\'
Aftereachquestionhetitledmeoveralittlemore，soastogivemeagreatersenseofhelplessnessanddanger。
`Yougetmeafile。\'Hetiltedmeagain。`Andyougetmewittles。\'Hetiltedmeagain。`Youbring\'embothtome。\'Hetiltedmeagain。`OrI\'llhaveyourheartandliverout。\'Hetiltedmeagain。
Iwasdreadfullyfrightened，andsogiddythatIclungtohimwithbothhands，andsaid，`Ifyouwouldkindlypleasetoletmekeepupright，sir，perhapsIshouldn\'tbesick，andperhapsIcouldattendmore。\'
Hegavemeamosttremendousdipandroll，sothatthechurchjumpedoveritsownweather-cock。Then，heheldmebythearms，inanuprightpositiononthetopofthestone，andwentoninthesefearfulterms:
`Youbringme，to-morrowmorningearly，thatfileandthemwittles。
Youbringthelottome，atthatoldBatteryoveryonder。Youdoit，andyouneverdaretosayawordordaretomakeasignconcerningyourhavingseensuchapersonasme，oranypersonsumever，andyoushallbelettolive。Youfail，oryougofrommywordsinanypartickler，nomatterhowsmallitis，andyourheartandyourlivershallbetoreout，roastedandate。Now，Iain\'talone，asyoumaythinkIam。There\'sayoungmanhidwithme，incomparisonwithwhichyoungmanIamaAngel。ThatyoungmanhearsthewordsIspeak。Thatyoungmanhasasecretwaypecooliartohimself，ofgettingataboy，andathisheart，andathisliver。Itisinwainforaboytoattempttohidehimselffromthatyoungman。Aboymaylockhisdoor，maybewarminbed，maytuckhimselfup，maydrawtheclothesoverhishead，maythinkhimselfcomfortableandsafe，butthatyoungmanwillsoftlycreepandcreephiswaytohimandtearhimopen。Iamakeepingthatyoungmanfromharmingofyouatthepresentmoment，withgreatdifficulty。
Ifinditweryhardtoholdthatyoungmanoffofyourinside。Now，whatdoyousay？\'
IsaidthatIwouldgethimthefile，andIwouldgethimwhatbrokenbitsoffoodIcould，andIwouldcometohimattheBattery，earlyinthemorning。
`SayLordstrikeyoudeadifyoudon\'t！\'saidtheman。
Isaidso，andhetookmedown。
`Now，\'hepursued，`yourememberwhatyou\'veundertook，andyourememberthatyoungman，andyougethome！\'
`Goo-goodnight，sir，\'Ifaltered。
`Muchofthat！\'saidhe，glancingabouthimoverthecoldwetflat。
`IwishIwasafrog。Oraeel！\'
Atthesametime，hehuggedhisshudderingbodyinbothhisarms-claspinghimself，asiftoholdhimselftogether-andlimpedtowardsthelowchurchwall。AsIsawhimgo，pickinghiswayamongthenettles，andamongthebramblesthatboundthegreenmounds，helookedinmyyoungeyesasifhewereeludingthehandsofthedeadpeople，stretchingupcautiouslyoutoftheirgraves，togetatwistuponhisankleandpullhimin。
Whenhecametothelowchurchwall，hegotoverit，likeamanwhoselegswerenumbedandstiff，andthenturnedroundtolookforme。WhenIsawhimturning，Isetmyfacetowardshome，andmadethebestuseofmylegs。ButpresentlyIlookedovermyshoulder，andsawhimgoingonagaintowardstheriver，stillhugginghimselfinbotharms，andpickinghiswaywithhissorefeetamongthegreatstonesdroppedintothemarsheshereandthere，forstepping-placeswhentherainswereheavy，orthetidewasin。
Themarsheswerejustalongblackhorizontallinethen，asIstoppedtolookafterhim；andtheriverwasjustanotherhorizontalline，notnearlysobroadnotyetsoblack；andtheskywasjustarowoflongangryredlinesanddenseblacklinesintermixed。OntheedgeoftheriverI
couldfaintlymakeouttheonlytwoblackthingsinalltheprospectthatseemedtobestandingupright；oneofthesewasthebeaconbywhichthesailorssteered-likeanunhoopedcaskuponapole-anuglythingwhenyouwerenearit；theotheragibbet，withsomechainshangingtoitwhichhadonceheldapirate。Themanwaslimpingontowardsthislatter，asifhewerethepiratecometolife，andcomedown，andgoingbacktohookhimselfupagain。IfgavemeaterribleturnwhenIthoughtso；andasIsawthecattleliftingtheirheadstogazeafterhim，Iwonderedwhethertheythoughtsotoo。Ilookedallroundforthehorribleyoungman，andcouldseenosingsofhim。But，nowIwasfrightenedagain，andranhomewithoutstopping。
Chapter2
MYsister，MrsJoeGargery，wasmorethantwentyyearsolderthanI，andhadestablishedagreatreputationwithherselfandtheneighboursbecauseshehadbroughtmeup`byhand\'。Havingatthattimetofindoutformyselfwhattheexpressionmeant，andknowinghertohaveahardandheavyhand，andtobemuchinthehabitoflayingituponherhusbandaswellasuponme，IsupposedthatJoeGargeryandIwerebothbroughtupbyhand。
Shewasnotagood-lookingwoman，mysister；andIhadageneralimpressionthatshemusthavemadeJoeGargerymarryherbyhand。Joewasafairman，withcurlsofflaxenhaironeachsideofhissmoothface，andwitheyesofsuchaveryundecidedbluethattheyseemedtohavesomehowgotmixedwiththeirownwhites。Hewasamild，good-natured，sweet-tempered，easy-going，foolish，dearfellow-asortofHerculesinstrength，andalsoinweakness。
Mysister，MrsJoe，withblackhairandeyes，hadsuchaprevailingrednessofskinthatIsometimesusedtowonderwhetheritwaspossibleshewashedherselfwithanutmeg-graterinsteadofsoap。Shewastallandbony，andalmostalwaysworeacoarseapron，fastenedoverherfigurebehindwithtwoloops，andhavingasquareimpregnablebibinfront，thatwasstuckfullofpinsandneedles。Shemadeitapowerfulmeritinherself，andastrongreproachagainstJoe，thatsheworethisapronsomuch。ThoughIreallyseenoreasonwhysheshouldhavewornitatall:orwhy，ifshedidwearitatall，sheshouldnothavetakenitoff，everydayofherlife。
Joe\'sforgeadjoinedourhouse，whichwasawoodenhouse，asmanyofthedwellingsinourcountrywere-mostofthem，atthattime。WhenI
ranhomefromthechurchyard，theforgewasshutup，andJoewassittingaloneinthekitchen。JoeandIbeingfellow-sufferers，andhavingconfidencesassuch，Joeimpartedaconfidencetome，themomentIraisedthelatchofthedoorandpeepedinathimoppositetoit，sittinginthechimneycorner。
`MrsJoehasbeenoutadozentimes，lookingforyou，Pip。Andshe\'soutnow，makingitabaker\'sdozen。\'
`Isshe？\'
`Yes，Pip，\'saidJoe；`andwhat\'sworse，she\'sgotTicklerwithher。\'
Atthisdismalintelligence，Itwistedtheonlybuttononmywaistcoatroundandround，andlookedingreatdepressionatthefire。Ticklerwasawax-endedpieceofcane，wornsmoothbycollisionwithmytickledframe。
`Shesotdown，\'saidJoe，`andshegotup，andshemadeagrabatTickler，andsheRam-pagedout。That\'swhatshedid，\'saidJoe，slowlyclearingthefirebetweenthelowerbarswiththepoker，andlookingatit:`sheRam-pagedout，Pip。\'
`Hasshebeengonelong，Joe？\'Ialwaystreatedhimasalargerspeciesofchild，andasnomorethanmyequal。
`Well，\'saidJoe，glancingupattheDutchclock，`she\'sbeenontheRam-page，thislastspell，aboutfiveminutes，Pip。She\'sacoming！Getbehindthedoor，oldchap，andhavethejack-towelbetwixtyou。\'
Itooktheadvice。Mysister，MrsJoe，throwingthedoorwideopen，andfindinganobstructionbehindit，immediatelydivinedthecause，andappliedTicklertoitsfurtherinvestigation。Sheconcludedbythrowingme-Ioftenservedasaconnubialmissile-atJoe，who，gladtogetholdofmeonanyterms，passedmeonintothechimneyandquietlyfencedmeuptherewithhisgreatleg。
`Wherehaveyoubeen，youyoungmonkey？\'saidMrsJoe，stampingherfoot。`Tellmedirectlywhatyou\'vebeendoingtowearmeawaywithfretandfrightandworrit，orI\'dhaveyououtofthatcornerifyouwasfiftyPips，andhewasfivehundredGargerys。\'
`Ihaveonlybeentothechurchyard，\'saidI，frommystool，cryingandrubbingmyself。
`Churchyard！\'repeatedmysister。`Ifitwarn\'tformeyou\'dhavebeentothechurchyardlongago，andstayedthere。Whobroughtyouupbyhand？\'
`Youdid，\'saidI。
`AndwhydidIdoit，Ishouldliketoknow？\'exclaimedmysister。
Iwhimpered，`Idon\'tknow。\'
`Idon\'t！saidmysister。`I\'dneverdoitagain！Iknowthat。
ImaytrulysayI\'veneverhadthisapronofmineoff，sincebornyouwere。
It\'sbadenoughtobeablacksmith\'swifeandhimaGargerywithoutbeingyourmother。\'
MythoughtsstrayedfromthatquestionasIlookeddisconsolatelyatthefire。For，thefugitiveoutonthemarsheswiththeironedleg，themysteriousyoungman，thefile，thefood，andthedreadfulpledgeIwasundertocommitalarcenyonthoseshelteringpremises，rosebeforemeintheavengingcoals。
`Hah！\'saidMrsJoe，restoringTicklertohisstation。`Churchyard，indeed！Youmaywellsaychurchyard，youtwo。\'Oneofus，by-the-bye，hadnotsaiditatall。`You\'lldrivemetothechurchyardbetwixtyou，oneofthesedays，andoh，apr-r-reciouspairyou\'dbewithoutme！\'
Assheappliedherselftosetthetea-things，Joepeepeddownatmeoverhisleg，asifhewerementallycastingmeandhimselfup，andcalculatingwhatkindofpairwepracticallyshouldmake，underthegrievouscircumstancesforeshadowed。Afterthat，hesatfeelinghisright-sideflaxencurlsandwhisker，andfollowingMrsJoeaboutwithhisblueeyes，ashismanneralwayswasatsquallytimes。
Mysisterhadatrenchantwayofcuttingourbread-and-butterforus，thatnevervaried。First，withherlefthandshejammedtheloafhardandfastagainstherbib-whereitsometimesgotapinintoit，andsometimesaneedle，whichweafterwardsgotintoourmouths。Thenshetooksomebutternottoomuchonaknifeandspreaditontheloaf，inanapothecarykindofway，asifsheweremakingaplaister-usingbothsidesoftheknifewithaslappingdexterity，andtrimmingandmouldingthebutteroffroundthecrust。Then，shegavetheknifeafinalsmartwipeontheedgeoftheplaister，andthensawedaverythickroundofftheloaf:whichshefinally，beforeseparatingfromtheloaf，hewedintotwohalves，ofwhichJoegotone，andItheother。
Onthepresentoccasion，thoughIwashungry，Idarednoteatmyslice。
IfeltthatImusthavesomethinginreserveformydreadfulacquaintance，andhisallythestillmoredreadfulyoungman。IknewMrs。Joe\'shousekeepingtobeofthestrictestkind，andthatmylarcenousresearchesmightfindnothingavailableinthesafe。ThereforeIresolvedtoputmyhunkofbread-and-butterdownthelegofmytrousers。
Theeffortofresolutionnecessarytotheachievementofthispurpose，Ifoundtobequiteawful。ItwasasifIhadtomakeupmymindtoleapfromthetopofahighhouse，orplungeintoagreatdepthofwater。AnditwasmadethemoredifficultbytheunconsciousJoe。Inouralready-mentionedfreemasonryasfellow-sufferers，andinhisgood-naturedcompanionshipwithme，itwasoureveninghabittocomparethewaywebitthroughoutslices，bysilentlyholdingthemuptoeachother\'sadmirationnowandthen-whichstimulatedustonewexertions。To-night，Joeseveraltimesinvitedme，bythedisplayofhisfast-diminishingslice，toenteruponourusualfriendlycompetition；buthefoundme，eachtime，withmyyellowmugofteaononeknee，andmyuntouchedbread-and-butterontheother。
Atlast，IdesperatelyconsideredthatthethingIcontemplatedmustbedone，andthatithadbestbedoneintheleastimprobablemannerconsistentwiththecircumstances。ItookadvantageofamomentwhenJoehadjustlookedatme，andgotmybread-and-butterdownmyleg。
Joewasevidentlymadeuncomfortablebywhathesupposedtobemylossofappetite，andtookathoughtfulbiteoutofhisslice，whichhedidn\'tseemtoenjoy。Heturneditaboutinhismouthmuchlongerthanusual，ponderingoveritagooddeal，andafterallgulpeditdownlikeapill。
Hewasabouttotakeanotherbite，andhadjustgothisheadononesideforagoodpurchaseonit，whenhiseyefellonme，andhesawthatmybread-and-butterwasgone。
ThewonderandconsternationwithwhichJoestoppedonthethresholdofhisbiteandstaredatme，weretooevidenttoescapemysister\'sobservation。
`What\'sthematternow？\'saidshe，smartly，assheputdownhercup。
`Isay，youknow！\'mutteredJoe，shakinghisheadatmeinveryseriousremonstrance。`Pip，oldchap！You\'lldoyourselfamischief。It\'llsticksomewhere。Youcan\'thavechawedit，Pip。\'
`What\'sthematternow？\'repeatedmysister，moresharplythanbefore。
`Ifyoucancoughanytrifleonitup，Pip，I\'drecommendyoutodoit，\'saidJoe，allaghast。`Mannersismanners，butstillyourelth\'syourelth。\'
Bythistime，mysisterwasquitedesperate，soshepouncedonJoe，and，takinghimbythetwowhiskers，knockedhisheadforalittlewhileagainstthewallbehindhim:whileIsatinthecorner，lookingguiltilyon。
`Now，perhapsyou\'llmentionwhat\'sthematter，\'saidmysister，outofbreath，`youstaringgreatstuckpig。\'
Joelookedatherinahelplessway；thentookahelplessbite，andlookedatmeagain。
`Youknow，Pip，\'saidJoe，solemnly，withhislastbiteinhischeekandspeakinginaconfidentialvoice，asifwetwowerequitealone，`youandmeisalwaysfriends，andI\'dbethelasttotelluponyou，anytime。
Butsucha——\'hemovedhischairandlookedaboutthefloorbetweenus，andthenagainatme-`suchamostoncommonBoltasthat！\'
`Beenboltinghisfood，hashe？\'criedmysister。
`Youknow，oldchap，\'saidJoe，lookingatme，andnotatMrsJoe，withhisbitestillinhischeek，`IBolted，myself，whenIwasyourage-frequent-andasaboyI\'vebeenamongamanyBolters；butIneverseeyourBoltingequalyet，Pip，andit\'samercyyouain\'tBolteddead。\'
Mysistermadeadiveatme，andfishedmeupbythehair:sayingnothingmorethantheawfulwords，`Youcomealongandbedosed。\'
SomemedicalbeasthadrevivedTar-waterinthosedaysasafinemedicine，andMrsJoealwayskeptasupplyofitinthecupboard；havingabeliefinitsvirtuescorrespondenttoitsnastiness。Atthebestoftimes，somuchofthiselixirwasadministeredtomeasachoicerestorative，thatIwasconsciousofgoingabout，smellinglikeanewfence。Onthisparticulareveningtheurgencyofmycasedemandedapintofthismixture，whichwaspoureddownmythroat，formygreatercomfort，whileMrsJoeheldmyheadunderherarm，asabootwouldbeheldinaboot-jack。Joegotoffwithhalfapint；butwasmadetoswallowthatmuchtohisdisturbance，ashesatslowlymunchingandmeditatingbeforethefire，`becausehehadaturn。\'Judgingfrommyself，Ishouldsayhecertainlyhadaturnafterwards，ifhehadhadnonebefore。
Conscienceisadreadfulthingwhenitaccusesmanorboy；butwhen，inthecaseofaboy，thatsecretburdenco-operateswithanothersecretburdendownthelegofhistrousers，itisasIcantestifyagreatpunishment。
TheguiltyknowledgethatIwasgoingtorobMrsJoe-IneverthoughtIwasgoingtorobJoe，forIneverthoughtofanyofthehousekeepingpropertyashis-unitedtothenecessityofalwayskeepingonehandonmybread-and-butterasIsat，orwhenIwasorderedaboutthekitchenonanysmallerrand，almostdrovemeoutofmymind。Then，asthemarshwindsmadethefireglowandflare，IthoughtIheardthevoiceoutside，ofthemanwiththeirononhislegwhohadswornmetosecrecy，declaringthathecouldn\'tandwouldn\'tstarveuntilto-morrow，butmustbefednow。Atothertimes，Ithought，Whatiftheyoungmanwhowaswithsomuchdifficultyrestrainedfromimbruinghishandsinme，shouldyieldtoaconstitutionalimpatience，orshouldmistakethetime，andshouldthinkhimselfaccreditedtomyheartandliverto-night，insteadofto-morrow！Ifeveranybody\'shairstoodonendwithterror，minemusthavedonesothen。But，perhaps，nobody\'severdid？
IwasChristmasEve，andIhadtostirthepuddingfornextday，withacopper-stick，fromseventoeightbytheDutchclock。Itrieditwiththeloaduponmylegandthatmademethinkafreshofthemanwiththeloadonhisleg，andfoundthetendencyofexercisetobringthebread-and-butteroutatmyankle，quiteunmanageable。Happily，Islippedaway，anddepositedthatpartofmyconscienceinmygarretbedroom。
`Hark！\'saidI，whenIhaddonemystirring，andwastakingafinalwarminthechimneycornerbeforebeingsentuptobed；`wasthatgreatguns，Joe？\'
`Ah！\'saidJoe。`There\'sanotherconwictoff。\'
`Whatdoesthatmean，Joe？\'saidI。
MrsJoe，whoalwaystookexplanationsuponherself，said，snappishly，`Escaped。Escaped。\'AdministeringthedefinitionlikeTar-water。
WhileMrsJoesatwithherheadbendingoverherneedlework，IputmymouthintotheformsofsayingtoJoe，`What\'saconvict？\'Joeputhismouthintotheformsofreturningsuchahighlyelaborateanswer，thatIcouldmakeoutnothingofitbutthesingleword`Pip。\'
`Therewasaconwictofflastnight，\'saidJoe，aloud，`aftersun-set-gun。
Andtheyfiredwarningofhim。Andnow，itappearsthey\'refiringwarningofanother。\'
`Who\'sfiring？\'saidI。
`Dratthatboy，\'interposedmysister，frowningatmeoverherwork，`whataquestionerheis。Asknoquestions，andyou\'llbetoldnolies。\'
Iwasnotverypolitetoherself，Ithought，toimplythatIshouldbetoldliesbyher，evenifIdidaskquestions。Butsheneverwaspolite，unlesstherewascompany。
Atthispoint，Joegreatlyaugmentedmycuriositybytakingtheutmostpainstoopenhismouthverywide，andtoputitintotheformofawordthatlookedtomelike`sulks。\'Therefore，InaturallypointedtoMrsJoe，andputmymouthintotheformofsaying`her？\'ButJoewouldn\'thearofthat，atall，andagainopenedhismouthverywide，andshooktheformofamostemphaticwordoutofit。ButIcouldmakenothingoftheword。
`MrsJoe，\'saidI，asalastresource，`Ishouldliketoknow-ifyouwouldn\'tmuchmind-wherethefiringcomesfrom？\'
`Lordblesstheboy！\'exclaimedmysister，asifshedidn\'tquitemeanthat，butratherthecontrary。`FromtheHulks！\'
`Oh-h！\'saidI，lookingatJoe。`Hulks！\'
Joegaveareproachfulcough，asmuchastosay，`Well，Itoldyouso。\'
`Andpleasewhat\'sHulks？\'saidI。
`That\'sthewaywiththisboy！\'exclaimedmysister，pointingmeoutwithherneedleandthread，andshakingherheadatme。`Answerhimonequestion，andhe\'llaskyouadozendirectly。Hulksareprison-ships，right\'crossth\'meshes。\'Wealwaysusedthatnameformarshes，inourcountry。
`Iwonderwho\'sputintoprison-ships，andwhythey\'reputthere？\'saidI，inageneralway，andwithquietdesperation。
ItwastoomuchforMrsJoe，whoimmediatelyrose。`Itellyouwhat，youngfellow，\'saidshe，`Ididn\'tbringyouupbyhandtobadgerpeople\'slivesout。Itwouldbeblametome，andnotpraise，ifIhad。PeopleareputintheHulksbecausetheymurder，andbecausetheyrob，andforge，anddoallsortsofbad；andtheyalwaysbeginbyaskingquestions。Now，yougetalongtobed！\'
Iwasneverallowedacandletolightmetobed，and，asIwentupstairsinthedark，withmyheadtingling-fromMrsJoe\'sthimblehavingplayedthetambourineuponit，toaccompanyherlastwords-IfeltfearfullysensibleofthegreatconveniencethattheHulkswerehandyforme。Iwasclearlyonmywaythere。Ihadbegunbyaskingquestions，andIwasgoingtorobMrsJoe。
Sincethattime，whichisfarenoughawaynow，Ihaveoftenthoughtthatfewpeopleknowwhatsecrecythereisintheyoung，underterror。
Nomatterhowunreasonabletheterror，sothatitbeterror。Iwasinmortalterroroftheyoungmanwhowantedmyheartandliver；Iwasinmortalterrorofmyinterlocutorwiththeironedleg；Iwasinmortalterrorofmyself，fromwhomanawfulpromisehadbeenextracted；Ihadnohopeofdeliverancethroughmyall-powerfulsister，whorepulsedmeateveryturn；
IamafraidtothinkofwhatImighthavedone，onrequirement，inthesecrecyofmyterror。
IfIsleptatallthatnight，itwasonlytoimaginemyselfdriftingdowntheriveronastrongspring-tide，totheHulks；aghostlypiratecallingouttomethroughaspeaking-trumpet，asIpassedthegibbet-station，thatIhadbettercomeashoreandbehangedthereatonce，andnotputitoff。Iwasafraidtosleep，evenifIhadbeeninclined，forIknewthatatthefirstfaintdawnofmorningImustrobthepantry。Therewasnodoingitinthenight，fortherewasnogettingalightbyeasyfrictionthen；tohavegotone，Imusthavestruckitoutofflintandsteel，andhavemadeanoiseliketheverypiratehimselfrattlinghischains。
Assoonasthegreatblackvelvetpalloutsidemylittlewindowwasshotwithgrey，Igotupandwentdownstairs；everyboardupontheway，andeverycrackineveryboard，callingafterme，`Stopthief！\'and`Getup，MrsJoe！\'Inthepantry，whichwasfarmoreabundantlysuppliedthanusual，owingtotheseason，Iwasverymuchalarmed，byaharehangingupbytheheels，whomIratherthoughtIcaught，whenmybackwashalfturned，winking。Ihadnotimeforverification，notimeforselection，notimeforanything，forIhadnotimetospare。Istolesomebread，somerindofcheese，abouthalfajarofmincemeatwhichItiedupinmypocket-handkerchiefwithmylastnight\'sslice，somebrandyfromastonebottlewhichIdecantedintoaglassbottleIhadsecretlyusedformakingthatintoxicatingfluid，Spanish-liquorice-water，upinmyroom:dilutingthestonebottlefromajuginthekitchencupboard，ameatbonewithverylittleonit，andabeautifulroundcompactporkpie。Iwasnearlygoingawaywithoutthepie，butIwastemptedtomountuponashelf，tolookwhatitwasthatwasputawaysocarefullyinacoveredearthenwaredishinacorner，andIfounditwasthepie，andItookit，inthehopethatitwasnotintendedforearlyuse，andwouldnotbemissedforsometime。
Therewasadoorinthekitchen，communicatingwiththeforge；Iunlockedandunboltedthatdoor，andgotafilefromamongJoe\'stools。Then，I
putthefasteningsasIhadfoundthem，openedthedooratwhichIhadenteredwhenIranhomelastnight，shutit，andranforthemistymarshes。
Chapter3
ITwasarimymorning，andverydamp。Ihadseenthedamplyingontheoutsideofmylittlewindow，asifsomegoblinhadbeencryingthereallnight，andusingthewindowforapocket-handkerchief。Now，Isawthedamplyingonthebarehedgesandsparegrass，likeacoarsersortofspiders\'
webs；hangingitselffromtwigtotwigandbladetoblade。Oneveryrailandgate，wetlayclammy；andthemarsh-mistwassothick，thatthewoodenfingeronthepostdirectingpeopletoourvillage-adirectionwhichtheyneveraccepted，fortheynevercamethere-wasinvisibletomeuntilIwasquitecloseunderit。Then，asIlookedupatit，whileitdripped，itseemedtomyoppressedconsciencelikeaphantomdevotingmetotheHulks。
ThemistwasheavieryetwhenIgotoutuponthemarshes，sothatinsteadofmyrunningateverything，everythingseemedtorunatme。Thiswasverydisagreeabletoaguiltymind。Thegatesanddykesandbankscameburstingatmethroughthemist，asiftheycriedasplainlyascouldbe，`AboywithSomebody-else\'sportpie！Stophis！\'Thecattlecameuponmewithlikesuddenness，staringoutoftheireyes，andsteamingoutoftheirnostrils，`Holloa，youngthief！\'Oneblackox，withawhitecravaton-whoevenhadtomyawakenedconsciencesomethingofaclericalair-fixedmesoobstinatelywithhiseyes，andmovedhisbluntheadroundinsuchanaccusatorymannerasImovedround，thatIblubberedouttohim，`Icouldn\'thelpit，sir！Itwasn\'tformyselfItookit！\'Uponwhichheputdownhishead，blewacouldofsmokeoutofhisnose，andvanishedwithakick-upofhishind-legsandaflourishofhistail。
Allthistime，Iwasgettingontowardstheriver；buthoweverfastIwent，Icouldn\'twarmmyfeet，towhichthedampcoldseemedriveted，astheironwasrivetedtothelegofthemanIwasrunningtomeet。I
knewmywaytotheBattery，prettystraight，forIhadbeendownthereonaSundaywithJoe，andJoe，sittingonanoldgun，hadtoldmethatwhenIwas\'prenticetohimregularlybound，wewouldhavesuchLarksthere！
However，intheconfusionofthemist，Ifoundmyselfatlasttoofartotheright，andconsequentlyhadtotrybackalongtheriver-side，onthebankofloosestonesabovethemudandthestakesthatstakedthetideout。Makingmywayalongherewithalldespatch，IhadjustcrossedaditchwhichIknewtobeveryneartheBattery，andhadjustscrambledupthemoundbeyondtheditch，whenIsawthemansittingbeforeme。Hisbackwastowardsme，andhehadhisarmsfolded，andwasnoddingforward，heavywithsleep。
IthoughthewouldbemoregladifIcameuponhimwithhisbreakfast，inthatunexpectedmanner，soIwentforwardsoftlyandtouchedhimontheshoulder。Heinstantlyjumpedup，anditwasnotthesameman，butanotherman！
Andyetthismanwasdressedincoarsegrey，too，andhadagreatirononhisleg，andwaslame，andhoarse，andcold，andwaseverythingthattheothermanwas；exceptthathehadnotthesameface，andhadaflatbroad-brimmedlow-crownedfeltthaton。Allthis，Isawinamoment，forIhadonlyamomenttoseeitin:hesworeanoathatme，madeahitatme-itwasaroundweakblowthatmissedmeandalmostknockedhimselfdown，foritmadehimstumble-andthenheranthemist，stumblingtwiceashewent，andIlosthim。
`It\'stheyoungman！\'Ithought，feelingmyheartshootasIidentifiedhim。IdaresayIshouldhavefeltapaininmyliver，too，ifIhadknownwhereitwas。
IwassoonattheBattery，afterthat，andtherewastherightman-hugginghimselfandlimpingtoandfro，asifhehadneverallnightleftoffhuggingandlimping-waitingforme。Hewasawfullycold，tobesure。Ihalfexpectedtoseehimdropdownbeforemyfaceanddieofdeadlycold。Hiseyeslookedsoawfullyhungry，too，thatwhenIhandedhimthefileandhelaiditdownonthegrass，itoccurredtomehewouldhavetriedtoeatit，ifhehadnotseenmybundle。Hedidnotturnmeupsidedown，thistime，togetatwhatIhad，butleftmerightsideupwardswhileIopenedthebundleandemptiedmypockets。
`What\'sinthebottle，boy？\'saidhe。
`Brandy，\'saidI。
Hewasalreadyhandingmincemeatdownhisthroatinthemostcuriousmanner-morelikeamanwhowasputtingitawaysomewhereinaviolenthurry，thanamanwhowaseatingit-butheleftofftotakesomeoftheliquor。Heshiveredallthewhile，soviolently，thatitwasquiteasmuchashecoulddotokeeptheneckofthebottlebetweenhisteeth，withoutbitingitoff。
`Ithinkyouhavegottheague，\'saidI。
`I\'mmuchofyouropinion，boy，\'saidhe。
`It\'sbadabouthere，\'Itoldhim。`You\'vebeenlyingoutonthemeshes，andthey\'redreadfulaguish。Rheumatictoo。\'
`I\'lleatmybreakfastaforethey\'rethedeathofme，\'saidhe。`I\'ddothat，ifIwasgoingtobestrunguptothattheregallowsasthereisoverthere，directlyafterwards。I\'llbeattheshiverssofar，I\'llbetyou。\'
Hewasgobblingmincemeat，meatbone，bread，cheese，andporkpie，allatonce:staringdistrustfullywhilehedidsoatthemistallroundus，andoftenstopping-evenstoppinghisjaws-tolisten。Somerealorfanciedsound，someclinkupontheriverorbreathingofbeastuponthemarsh，nowgavehimastart，andhesaid，suddenly:
`You\'renotadeceivingimp？Youbroughtnoonewithyou？\'
`No，sir！No！\'
`Norgiv\'noonetheofficetofollowyou？\'
`No！\'
`Well，\'saidhe，`Ibelieveyou。You\'dbebutafierceyounghoundindeed，ifatyourtimeoflifeyoucouldhelptohuntawretchedwarmint，huntedasneardeathanddunghillasthispoorwretchedwarmintis！\'
Somethingclickedinhisthroat，asifhasworksinhimlikeaclock，andwasgoingtostrike。Andhesmearedhisraggedroughsleeveoverhiseyes。
Pityinghisdesolation，andwatchinghimashegraduallysettleddownuponthepie，Imadeboldtosay，`Iamgladyouenjoyit。\'
`Didyouspeak？\'
`IsaidIwasgladyouenjoyedit。\'
`Thankee，myboy。Ido。\'
Ihadoftenwatchedalargedogofourseatinghisfood；andInownoticedadecidedsimilaritybetweenthedog\'swayofeating，andtheman\'s。Themantookstrongsharpsuddenbites，justlikethedog。Heswallowed，orrathersnappedup，everymouthful，toosoonandtoofast；andhelookedsidewayshereandtherewhileheate，asifhethoughttherewasdangerineverydirection，ofsomebody\'scomingtotakethepieaway。Hewasaltogethertoounsettledinhismindoverit，toappreciateitcomfortably，Ithought，ortohaveanybodytodinewithhim，withoutmakingachopwithhisjawsatthevisitor。Inallofwhichparticularshewasverylikethedog。
`Iamafraidyouwon\'tleaveanyofitforhim，\'saidI，timidly；afterasilenceduringwhichIhadhesitatedastothepolitenessofmakingtheremark。`There\'snomoretobegotwherethatcamefrom。\'Itwasthecertaintyofthisfactthatimpelledmetoofferthehint。
`Leaveanyforhim？Who\'shim？\'saidmyfriend，stoppinginhiscrunchingofpie-crust。
`Theyoungman。Thatyouspokeof。Thatwashidwithyou。\'
`Ohah！\'hereturned，withsomethinglikeagrufflaugh。`Him？Yes，yes！Hedon\'twantnowittles。\'
`Ithoughthelookedasifhedid，\'saidI。
Themanstoppedeating，andregardedmewiththekeenestscrutinyandthegreatestsurprise。
`Looked？When？\'
`Justnow。\'
`Where？\'
`Yonder，\'saidI，pointing；`overthere，whereIfoundhimnoddingasleep，andthoughtitwasyou。\'
Heheldmebythecollarandstaredatmeso，thatIbegantothinkhisfirstideaaboutcuttingmythroathadrevived。
`Dressedlikeyou，youknow，onlywithahat，\'Iexplained，trembling；
`and-and\'-Iwasveryanxioustoputthisdelicately-`andwith-thesamereasonforwantingtoborrowafile。Didn\'tyouhearthecannonlastnight？\'
`Then，therewasfiring！\'hesaidtohimself。
`Iwonderyoushouldn\'thavebeensureofthat，\'Ireturned，`forwehearditupathome，andthat\'sfurtheraway，andwewereshutinbesides。\'
`Why，seenow！\'saidhe。`Whenaman\'saloneontheseflats，withalightheadandalightstomach，perishingofcoldandwant，hehearsnothin\'
allnight，butgunsfiring，andvoicescalling。Hears？Heseesthesoldiers，withtheirredcoatslightedupbythetorchescarriedafore，closinginroundhim。Hearshisnumbercalled，hearshimselfchallenged，hearstherattleofthemuskets，hearstheorders\"\"\"Makeready！Present！Coverhimsteady，men！\"andislaidhandson-andthere\'snothin\'！Why，ifIseeonepursuingpartylastnight-comingupinorder，Damn\'em，withtheirtramp，tramp-Iseeahundred。Andastofiring！Why，Iseethemistshakewiththecannon，arteritwasbroadday-Butthisman；\'hehadsaidalltherest，asifhehadforgottenmybeingthere；`didyounoticeanythinginhim？\'
`Hehadabadlybruisedface，\'saidI，recallingwhatIhardlyknewIknew。
`Nothere？\'exclaimedtheman，strikinghisleftcheekmercilessly，withtheflatofhishand。
`Yes，there！\'
`Whereishe？\'Hecrammedwhatlittlefoodwasleft，intothebreastofhisgreyjacket。`Showmethewayhewent。I\'llpullhimdown，likeabloodhound。Cursethisirononmysoreleg！Giveusholdofthefile，boy。\'
Iindicatedinwhatdirectionthemisthadshroudedtheotherman，andhelookedupatitforaninstant。Buthewasdownontherankwetgrass，filingathisironlikeamadman，andnotmindingmeormindinghisownleg，whichhasanoldchafeuponitandwasbloody，butwhichhehandledasroughlyasifithadnomorefeelinginitthanthefile。Iwasverymuchafraidofhimagain，nowthathehadworkedhimselfintothisfiercehurry，andIwaslikewiseverymuchafraidofkeepingawayfromhomeanylonger。ItoldhimImustgo，buthetooknonotice，soIthoughtthebestthingIcoulddowastoslipoff。ThelastIsawofhim，hisheadwasbentoverhiskneeandhewasworkinghardathisfetter，mutteringimpatientimprecationsatitandathisleg。ThelastIheardofhim，Istoppedinthemisttolisten，andthefilewasstillgoing。
Chapter4
IFULLYexpectedtofindaConstableinthekitchen，waitingtotakemeup。ButnotonlywastherenoConstablethere，butnodiscoveryhadyetbeenmadeoftherobbery。MrsJoewasprodigiouslybusyingettingthehousereadyforthefestivitiesoftheday，andJoehadbeenputuponthekitchendoor-steptokeephimoutofthedust-pan-anarticleintowhichhisdestinyalwaysledhimsoonerorlater，whenmysisterwasvigorouslyreapingthefloorsofherestablishment。
`Andwherethedeuceha\'youbeen？\'wasMrsJoe\'sChristmassalutation，whenIandmyconscienceshowedourselves。
IsaidIhadbeendowntoheartheCarols。`Ah！well！\'observedMrsJoe。`Youmightha\'doneworse。\'Notadoubtofthat，Ithought。
`PerhapsifIwarn\'tablacksmith\'swife，andwhat\'sthesamething
aslavewithherapronneveroff，IshouldhavebeentoheartheCarols，\'saidMrsJoe。`I\'amratherpartialtoCarols，myself，andthat\'sthebestofreasonsformyneverhearingany。\'
Joe，whohadventuredintothekitchenaftermeasthedust-panhadretiredbeforeus，drewthebackofhishandacrosshisnosewithaconciliatoryairwhenMrsJoedartedalookathim，and，whenhereyeswerewithdrawn，secretlycrossedhistwoforefingers，andexhibitedthemtome，asourtokenthatMrsJoewasinacrosstemper。Thiswassomuchhernormalstate，thatJoeandIwouldoften，forweekstogether，be，astoourfingers，likemonumentalCrusadersastotheirlegs。
Weweretohaveasuperbdinner，consistingofalegofpickledporkandgreens，andapairofroaststuffedfowls。Ahandsomemince-piehadbeenmadeyesterdaymorningwhichaccountedforthemincemeatnotbeingmissed，andthepuddingwasalreadyontheboil。Theseextensivearrangementsoccasionedustobecutoffunceremoniouslyinrespectofbreakfast；`forIan\'t，\'saidMrsJoe，`Ian\'tagoingtohavenoformalcrammingandbustingandwashingupnow，withwhatI\'vegotbeforeme，Ipromiseyou！\'
So，wehadourslicesservedout，asifweweretwothousandtroopsonaforcedmarchinsteadofamanandboyathome；andwetookgulpsofmilkandwater，withapologeticcountenances，fromajugonthedresser。
Inthemeantime，MrsJoeputcleanwhitecurtainsup，andtackedanewflowered-flounceacrossthewidechimneytoreplacetheoldone，anduncoveredthelittlestateparlouracrossthepassage，whichwasneveruncoveredatanyothertime，butpassedtherestoftheyearinacoolhazeofsilverpaper，whichevenextendedtothefourlittlewhitecrockerypoodlesonthemantelshelf，eachwithablacknoseandabasketofflowersinhismouth，andeachthecounterpartoftheother。MrsJoewasaverycleanhousekeeper，buthadanexquisiteartofmakinghercleanlinessmoreuncomfortableandunacceptablethandirtitself。CleanlinessisnexttoGodliness，andsomepeopledothesamebytheirreligion。
Mysisterhavingsomuchtodo，wasgoingtochurchvicariously；thatistosay，JoeandIweregoing。Inhisworkingclothes，Joewasawell-knitcharacteristic-lookingblacksmith；inhisholidayclothes，hewasmorelikeascarecrowingoodcircumstances，thananythingelse。Nothingthatheworethen，fittedhimorseemedtobelongtohim；andeverythingthatheworethen，grazedhim。Onthepresentfestiveoccasionheemergedfromhisroom，whentheblithebellsweregoing，thepictureofmisery，inafullsuitofSundaypenitentials。Astome，IthinkmysistermusthavehadsomegeneralideathatIwasayoungoffenderwhomanAccoucheurPolicemenhadtakenuponmybirthdayanddeliveredovertoher，tobedealtwithaccordingtotheoutragedmajestyofthelaw。IwasalwaystreatedasifIhadinsistedonbeingborn，inoppositiontothedictatesofreason，religion，andmorality，andagainstthedissuadingargumentsofmybestfriends。EvenwhenIwastakentohaveanewsuitofclothes，thetailorhadorderstomakethemlikeakindofReformatory，andonnoaccounttoletmehavethefreeuseofmylimbs。
JoeandIgoingtochurch，therefore，musthavebeenamovingspectacleforcompassionateminds。Yet，whatIsufferedoutside，wasnothingtowhatIunderwentwithin。TheterrorsthathadassailedmewheneverMrsJoehadgonenearthepantry，oroutoftheroom，wereonlytobeequalledbytheremorsewithwhichmyminddweltonwhatmyhandshaddone。Undertheweightofmywickedsecret，IponderedwhethertheChurchwouldbepowerfulenoughtoshieldmefromthevengeanceoftheterribleyoungman，ifIdivulgedtothatestablishment。Iconceivedtheideathatthetimewhenthebannswerereadandwhentheclergymansaid，`Yearenowtodeclareit！\'wouldbethetimeformetoriseandproposeaprivateconferenceinthevestry。
IamfarfrombeingsurethatImightnothaveastonishedoursmallcongregationbyresortingtothisextrememeasure，butforitsbeingChristmasDayandnoSunday。
MrWopsle，theclerkatchurch，wastodinewithus；andMrHubblethewheelwrightandMrsHubble；andUnclePumblechookJoe\'suncle，butMrsJoeappropriatedhim，whowasawell-to-docorn-chandlerinthenearesttown，anddrovehisownchaise-cart。Thedinnerhourwashalf-pastone。
WhenJoeandIgothome，wefoundthetablelaid，andMrsJoedressed，andthedinnerdressing，andthefrontdoorunlockeditneverwasatanyothertimeforthecompanytoenterby，andeverythingmostsplendid。
Andstill，notawordoftherobbery。
Thetimecame，withoutbringingwithitanyrelieftomyfeelings，andthecompanycame。Mr。Wopsle，unitedtoaRomannoseandalargeshiningbaldforehead，hadadeepvoicewhichhewasuncommonlyproudof；indeeditwasunderstoodamonghisacquaintancethatifyoucouldonlygivehimhishead，hewouldreadtheclergymanintofits；hehimselfconfessedthatiftheChurchwas`thrownopen，\'meaningtocompetition，hewouldnotdespairofmakinghismarkinit。TheChurchnotbeing`thrownopen，\'hewas，asIhavesaid，ourclerk。ButthepunishedtheAmenstremendously；andwhenhegaveoutthepsalm-alwaysgivingthewholeverse-helookedallroundthecongregationfirst，asmuchastosay，`Youhaveheardmyfriendoverhead；
obligemewithyouropinionofthisstyle！\'
Iopenedthedoortothecompany-makingbelievethatitwasahabitofourstoopenthatdoor-andIopeneditfirsttoMrWopsle，nexttoMrandMrsHubble，andlastofalltoUnclePumblechook。N。B。Iwasnotallowedtocallhimuncle，undertheseverestpenalties。
`MrsJoe，\'saidUnclePumblechook:alargehard-breathingmiddle-agedslowman，withamouthlikeafish，dullstaringeyes，andsandyhairstandinguprightonhishead，sothathelookedasifhehadjustbeenallbutchocked，andhadthatmomentcometo；`Ihavebroughtyou，asthecomplimentsoftheseason-Ihavebroughtyou，Mum，abottleofsherrywine-andIhavebroughtyou，Mum，abottleofportwine。\'
EveryChristmasDayhepresentedhimself，asaprofoundnovelty，withexactlythesamewords，andcarryingthetwobottleslikedumb-bells。EveryChristmasDay，MrsJoereplied，asshenowreplied，`Oh，Un-clePum-
ble-chook！ThisISkind！\'EveryChristmasDay，heretorted，ashenowretorted，`It\'snomorethanyourmerits。Andnowareyouallbobbish，andhow\'sSixpennorthofhalfpence？\'meaningme。
Wedinedontheseoccasionsinthekitchen，andadjourned，forthenutsandorangesandapples，totheparlour；whichwasachangeverylikeJoe\'schangefromhisworkingclothestohisSundaydress。Mysisterwasuncommonlylivelyonthepresentoccasion，andindeedwasgenerallymoregraciousinthesocietyofMrsHubblethaninothercompany。IrememberMrsHubbleasalittlecurlysharp-edgedpersoninsky-blue，whoheldaconventionallyjuvenileposition，becauseshehadmarriedMrHubble-Idon\'tknowatwhatremoteperiod-whenshewasmuchyoungerthanhe。IrememberMrHubbleasatoughhigh-shoulderedstoopingoldman，ofasawdustyfragrance，withhislegsextraordinarilywideapart:sothatinmyshortdaysIalwayssawsomemilesofopencountrybetweenthemwhenImethimcomingupthelane。
AmongthisgoodcompanyIshouldhavefeltmyself，evenifIhadn\'trobbedthepantry，inafalseposition。NotbecauseIwassqueezedinatanacuteangleofthetable-cloth，withthetableinmychest，andthePumblechookianelbowinmyeye，norbecauseIwasnotallowedtospeakIdidn\'twanttospeak，norbecauseIwasregaledwiththescalytipsofthedrumsticksofthefowls，andwiththoseobscurecornersofporkofwhichthepig，whenliving，hadhadtheleastreasontobevain。No；
Ishouldnothavemindedthat，iftheywouldonlyhaveleftmealone。Buttheywouldn\'tleavemealone。Theyseemedtothinktheopportunitylost，iftheyfailedtopointtheconversationatme，everynowandthen，andstickthepointintome。ImighthavebeenanunfortunatelittlebullinaSpanisharena，Igotsosmartinglytouchedupbythesemoralgoads。
Itbeganthemomentwesatdowntodinner。MrWopslesaidgracewiththeatricaldeclamation-asitnowappearstome，somethinglikeareligiouscrossoftheGhostinHamletwithRichardtheThird-andendedwiththeveryproperaspirationthatwemightbetrulygrateful。Uponwhichmysisterfixedmewithhereye，andsaid，inalowreproachfulvoice，`Doyouhearthat？Begrateful。\'
`Especially，\'saidMrPumblechook，`begrateful，boy，tothemwhichbroughtyouupbyhand。\'
MrsHubbleshookherhead，andcontemplatingmewithamournfulpresentimentthatIshouldcometonogood，asked，`Whyisitthattheyoungarenevergrateful？\'ThismoralmysteryseemedtoomuchforthecompanyuntilMrHubbleterselysolveditbysaying，`Naterallywicious。\'Everybodythenmurmured`True！\'andlookedatmeinaparticularlyunpleasantandpersonalmanner。
Joe\'sstationandinfluenceweresomethingfeeblerifpossiblewhentherewascompany，thanwhentherewasnone。Buthealwaysaidedandcomfortedmewhenhecould，insomewayofhisown，andhealwaysdidsoatdinner-timebygivingmegravy，iftherewereany。Therebeingplentyofgravyto-day，Joespoonedintomyplate，atthispoint，abouthalfapint。
Alittlelateroninthedinner，MrWopslereviewedthesermonwithsomeseverity，andintimated-intheusualhypotheticalcaseoftheChurchbeing`thrownopen\'-whatkingofsermonhewouldhavegiventhem。
Afterfavouringthemwithsomeheadsofthatdiscourse，heremarkedthatheconsideredthesubjectoftheday\'shomily，ill-chosen；whichwasthelessexcusable，headded，whenthereweresomanysubjects`goingabout。\'
`Trueagain，\'saidUnclePumblechook。`You\'vehitit，sir！Plentyofsubjectsgoingabout，forthemthatknowhowtoputsaltupontheirtails。
That\'swhat\'swanted。Amanneedn\'tgofartofindasubject，ifhe\'sreadywithhissalt-box。\'MrPumblechookadded，afterashortintervalofreflection，`LookatPorkalone。There\'sasubject！Ifyouwantasubject，lookatPork！\'
`True，sir。Manyamoralfortheyoung，\'returnedMrWopsle；andIknewhewasgoingtolugmein，beforehesaidit；`mightbededucedfromthattext。\'
`Youlistentothis，\'saidmysistertome，inasevereparenthesis。
Joegavemesomemoregravy。
`Swine，\'pursuedMrWopsle，inhisdeepestvoice，andpointinghisforkatmyblushes，asifhewerementioningmychristianname；`Swinewerethecompanionsoftheprodigal。ThegluttonyofSwineisputbeforeus，asanexampletotheyoung。\'Ithoughtthisprettywellinhimwhohadbeenpraisinguptheporkforbeingsoplumpandjuicy。`Whatisdetestableinapig，ismoredetestableinaboy。\'
`Orgirl，\'suggestedMrHubble。
`Ofcourse，orgirl，MrHubble，\'assentedMrWopsle，ratherirritably，`butthereisnogirlpresent。\'
`Besides，\'saidMrPumblechook，turningsharponme，`thinkwhatyou\'vegottobegratefulfor。Ifyou\'dbeenbornaSqueaker——\'
`Hewas，ifeverachildwas，\'saidmysister，mostemphatically。
Joegavemesomemoregravy。
`Well，butImeanafour-footedSqueaker，\'saidMrPumblechook。`Ifyouhadbeenbornsuch，wouldyouhavebeenherenow？Nowyou——\'
`Unlessinthatform，\'saidMrWopsle，noddingtowardsthedish。
`ButIdon\'tmeaninthatform，sir，\'returnedMrPumblechook，whohadanobjectiontobeinginterrupted；`Imean，enjoyinghimselfwithhiseldersandbetters，andimprovinghimselfwiththeirconversation，androllinginthelapofluxury。Wouldhehavebeendoingthat？No，hewouldn\'t。Andwhatwouldhavebeenyourdestination？\'turningonmeagain。`Youwouldhavebeendisposedofforsomanyshillingsaccordingtothemarketpriceofthearticle，andDunstablethebutcherwouldhavecomeuptoyouasyoulayinyourstraw，andhewouldhavewhippedyouunderhisleftarm，andwithhisrighthewouldhavetuckeduphisfrocktogetapenknifefromoutofhiswaistcoat-pocket，andhewouldhaveshedyourbloodandhadyourlife。Nobringingupbyhandthen。Notabitofit！\'
Joeofferedmemoregravy，whichIwasafraidtotake。
`Hewasaworldoftroubletoyou，ma\'am，\'saidMrsHubble，commiseratingmysister。
`Trouble？\'echoedmysister；`trouble？\'andthenenteredonafearfulcatalogueofalltheillnessesIhadbeenguiltyof，andalltheactsofsleeplessnessIhadcommitted，andallthehighplacesIhadtumbledfrom，andallthelowplacesIhadtumbledinto，andalltheinjuriesIhaddonemyself，andallthetimesshehadwishedmeinmygrave，andIhadcontumaciouslyrefusedtogothere。
IthinktheRomansmusthaveaggravatedoneanotherverymuch，withtheirnoses。Perhaps，theybecametherestlesspeopletheywere，inconsequence。
Anyhow，MrWopsle\'sRomannosesoaggravatedme，duringtherecitalofmymisdemeanours，thatIshouldhavelikedtopullituntilhehowled。
But，allIhadendureduptothistime，wasnothingincomparisonwiththeawfulfeelingsthattookpossessionofmewhenthepausewasbrokenwhichensueduponmysister\'srecital，andinwhichpauseeverybodyhadlookedatmeasIfeltpainfullyconsciouswithindignationandabhorrence。
`Yet，\'saidMrPumblechook，leadingthecompanygentlybacktothethemefromwhichtheyhadstrayed，`Pork-regardedasbiled-isrich，too；
ain\'tit？\'
`Havealittlebrandy，uncle，\'saidmysister。
OHeavens，ithadcomeatlast！Hewouldfinditwasweak，hewouldsayitwasweak，andIwaslost！Iheldtighttothelegofthetableunderthecloth，withbothhands，andawaitedmyfate。
Mysisterwentforthestonebottle，camebackwiththestonebottle，andpouredhisbrandyout:nooneelsetakingany。Thewretchedmantrifledwithhisglass-tookitup，lookedatitthroughthelight，putitdown-prolongedmymisery。Allthistime，MrsJoeandJoewerebrisklyclearingthetableforthepieandpudding。
Icouldn\'tkeepmyeyesoffhim。Alwaysholdingtightbythelegofthetablewithmyhandsandfeet，Isawthemiserablecreaturefingerhisglassplayfully，takeitup，smile，throwhisheadback，anddrinkthebrandyoff。Instantlyafterwards，thecompanywereseizedwithunspeakableconsternation，owingtohisspringingtohisfeet，turningroundseveraltimesinanappallingspasmodicwhooping-coughdance，andrushingoutatthedoor；hethenbecamevisiblethroughthewindow，violentlyplungingandexpectorating，makingthemosthideousfaces，andapparentlyoutofhismind。
Iheldontight，whileMrsJoeandJoerantohim。Ididn\'tknowhowIhaddoneit，butIhadnodoubtIhadmurderedhimsomehow。Inmydreadfulsituation，itwasareliefwhenhewasbroughtback，and，surveyingthecompanyallroundasiftheyhaddisagreedwithhim，sankdownintohischairwiththeonesignificantgasp，`Tar！\'
Ihadfilledupthebottlefromthetar-waterjug。Iknewhewouldbeworseby-and-by。Imovedthetable，likeaMediumofthepresentday，bythevigourofmyunseenholduponit。
`Tar！\'criedmysister，inamazement。`Why，howevercouldTarcomethere？\'
But，UnclePumblechook，whowasomnipotentinthatkitchen，wouldn\'theartheword，wouldn\'thearofthesubject，imperiouslywaveditallawaywithhishand，andaskedforhotgin-and-water。Mysister，whohadbeguntobealarminglymeditative，hadtoemployherselfactivelyingettingthegin，thehotwater，thesugar，andthelemon-peel，andmixingthem。
Forthetimeatleast，Iwassaved。Istillheldontothelegofthetable，butclutcheditnowwiththefervourofgratitude。
Bydegrees，Ibecamecalmenoughtoreleasemygraspandpartakeofpudding。MrPumblechookpartookofpudding。Allpartookofpudding。Thecourseterminated，andMrPumblechookhadbeguntobeamunderthegenialinfluenceofgin-and-water。IbegantothinkIshouldgetovertheday，whenmysistersaidtoJoe，`Cleanplates-cold。\'
Iclutchedthelegofthetableagainimmediately，andpressedittomybosomasifithadbeenthecompanionofmyyouthandfriendofmysoul。
Iforesawwhatwascoming，andIfeltthatthistimeIreallywasgone。
`Youmusttaste，\'saidmysister，addressingtheguestswithherbestgrace，`Youmusttaste，tofinishwith，suchadelightfulanddeliciouspresentofUnclePumblechook\'s！\'
Mustthey！Letthemnothopetotasteit！
`Youmustknow，\'saidmysister，rising，`it\'sapie；asavouryporkpie。\'
Thecompanymurmuredtheircompliments。UnclePumblechook，sensibleofhavingdeservedwellofhisfellow-creatures，said-quitevivaciously，allthingsconsidered-`Well，MrsJoe，we\'lldoourbestendeavours；letushaveacutatthissamepie。\'
Mysisterwentouttogetit。Iheardherstepsproceedtothepantry。
IsawMrPumblechookbalancehisknife。Isawre-awakeningappetiteintheRomannostrilsofMrWopsle。IheardMrHubbleremarkthat`abitofsavouryporkpiewouldlayatopofanythingyoucouldmention，anddonoharm，\'andIheardJoesay，`Youshallhavesome，Pip。\'IhaveneverbeenabsolutelycertainwhetherIutteredashrillyellofterror，merelyinspirit，orinthebodilyhearingofthecompany。IfeltthatIcouldbearnomore，andthatImustrunaway。Ireleasedthelegofthetable，andranformylife。
But，Irannofurtherthanthehousedoor，forthereIranheadforemostintoapartyofsoldierswiththeirmuskets:oneofwhomheldoutapairofhandcuffstome，saying，`Hereyouare，looksharp，comeon！\'
Chapter5
THEapparitionofafileofsoldiersringingdownthebutt-endsoftheirloadedmusketsonourdoor-step，causedthedinner-partytorisefromtableinconfusion，andcausedMrsJoere-enteringthekitchenempty-handed，tostopshortandstare，inherwonderinglamentof`Graciousgoodnessgraciousme，what\'sgone-withthe-pie！\'
ThesergeantandIwereinthekitchenwhenMrsJoestoodstaring；atwhichcrisisIpartiallyrecoveredtheuseofmysenses。Itwasthesergeantwhohadspokentome，andhewasnowlookingroundatthecompany，withhishandcuffsinvitinglyextendedtowardstheminhisrighthand，andhisleftonmyshoulder。
`Excuseme，ladiesandgentleman，\'saidthesergeant，`butasIhavementionedatthedoortothissmartyoungshaver\'whichhehadn\'t，`I
amonachaseinthenameoftheking，andIwanttheblacksmith。\'
`Andpraywhatmightyouwantwithhim？\'retortedmysister，quicktoresenthisbeingwantedatall。
`Missis，\'returnedthegallantsergeant，`speakingformyself，Ishouldreply，thehonourandpleasureofhisfinewife\'sacquaintance；speakingfortheking，Ianswer，alittlejobdone。\'
Thiswasreceivedasratherneatinthesergeant；insomuchthatMrPumblechookcriedaudibly，`Goodagain！\'
`Yousee，blacksmith，\'saidthesergeant，whohadbythistimepickedoutJoewithhiseye，`wehavehadanaccidentwiththese，andIfindthelockofoneof\'emgoeswrong，andthecouplingdon\'tactpretty。Astheyarewantedforimmediateservice，willyouthrowyoureyeoverthem？\'
Joethrewhiseyeoverthem，andpronouncedthatthejobwouldnecessitatethelightingofhisforgefire，andwouldtakenearertwohoursthanone，`Willit？Thenwillyousetaboutitatonce，blacksmith？\'saidtheoff-handsergeant，`asit\'sonhisMajesty\'sservice。Andifmymencanbeatahandanywhere，they\'llmakethemselvesuseful。\'Withthat，hecalledtohismen，whocametroopingintothekitchenoneafteranother，andpiledtheirarmsinacorner。Andthentheystoodabout，assoldiersdo；now，withtheirhandslooselyclaspedbeforethem；now，restingakneeorashoulder；
now，easingabeltorapouch；now，openingthedoortospitstifflyovertheirhighstocks，outintotheyard。
AllthesethingsIsawwithoutthenknowingthatIsawthem，forIwasinanagonyofapprehension。But，beginningtoperceivethatthehandcuffswerenotforme，andthatthemilitaryhadsofargotthebetterofthepieastoputitinthebackground，Icollectedalittlemoreofmyscatteredwits。