ShewastoowisetotellhimthatthedresswouldnotbewornagainuntilBrentwastoseeit。Thehatshetookoutoftheclosetfromtimetotimeandexperimentedwithit，reshapingthebrim，studyingthedifferenteffectsofdifferentangles。
ItdelightedSpensertocatchheratthis“foolishness“；hefeltsosuperior，andwithhisincurabledelusionoftheshallowthatdressisanend，notmerelyameans，hefeltmoreconfidentthaneverofbeingabletoholdherwhenheshouldhavethemoneytobuyherwhatherfrivolousandfemininenatureevidentlycravedbeyondallelseintheworld。But——
Whenheboughtaready-to-weareveningsuit，hemademorestiraboutitthanhadSusanabouthercostume——this，whendresstohimwasaltogetheranendinitselfandnotashrewdandusefulmeans。Hespentmoretimeinadmiringhimselfinitbeforethemirror，andlookedatit，andathimselfinit，withfarmoreadmirationandnocriticismatall。Susannotedthis——andafterthemannerofwomenwhoarewiseorindifferent——orboth——shemadenocomment。
AtthestudiofloorofBrent”shousethedooroftheelevatorwasopenedforSusanbyasmallyoungmanwithanotablylargehead，baldandbulging。Hisbigsmoothfacehadtheexpressionofextremeamiabilitythatusuallygoeswithweaknessandtimidity。“IamMr。Brent”ssecretary，Mr。
Garvey，“heexplained。AndSusan——madeasaccurateasquickinherjudgmentsofcharacterbytheopportunitiesandthenecessitiesofherexperience——sawthatshehadbeforeheroneofthosenicefeeblefolkwhoeithergettheshelterofsomestrongpersonalityasabirdhidesfromthestorminthethickbranchesofagreattreeoraretossedandtornandruinedbylifeandexistmiserablyuntilrescuedbydeath。Sheknewthetypewell；ithadbeenthedominanttypeinhersurroundingseversincesheleftSutherland。Indeed，isitnotthedominanttypeinthewholeill-equipped，sore-triedhumanrace？Anddoesitnotusuallyfailofrecognitionbecausesomanyofuswhoareinfactweak，look——andfeel——strongbecauseweareshelteredbyinheritedmoneyorbypowerfulfriendsorrelativesorbychancelodgmentinanookunvisitedofthehighwindsoflifeintheopen？SusanlikedGarveyatonce；theyexchangedsmilesandwerefriends。
Sheglancedroundtheroom。AtthehugeopenwindowBrent，hisbacktoher，wastalkingearnestlytoabighatchet-facedmanwithablackbeard。EvenasSusanglancedBrentclosedtheinterview；withanemphaticgestureoffistintopalmheexclaimed，“Andthat”sfinal。Good-by。”Thetwomencametowardher，bothbowed，thehatchet-facedmanenteredtheelevatorandwasgone。Brentextendedhishandwithasmile。
“Youevidentlydidn”tcometoworktoday，“saidhewithacareless，fleetingglanceatthe_grandetoilette_。“Butwearepreparedagainstsuchtricks。Garvey，takeherdowntothereardressing-roomandhavethemaidlayheroutasimplecostume。”ToSusan，“Beasquickasyoucan。”Andheseatedhimselfathisdeskandwasreadingandsigningletters。
Susan，crestfallen，followedGarveydownthestairway。Shehadconfidentlyexpectedthathewouldshowsomeappreciationofhertoilette。Sheknewshehadneverinherlifelookedsowell。Inthelongglassinthedressing-room，whileGarveywasgonetosendthemaid，sheinspectedherselfagain。
Yes——neveranythinglikesowell。AndBrenthadnotedherappearanceonlytocondemnit。Shewasalwaystellingherselfthatshewishedhimtoregardherasaworkingwoman，apupilinstagecraft。Butnowthatshehadproofthathedidsoregardher，shewasdepressed，resentful。However，thisdidnotlastlong。Whileshewaschangingtolinenskirtandshirtwaist，shebegantolaughatherself。Howabsurdshehadbeen，thinkingtoimpressthismanwhohadknownsomanybeautifulwomen，whomusthavebeensatiatedlongagowithbeauty——shethinkingtocreateasensationinsuchaman，withasimplelittlecostumeofherowncrudedevising。Shereappearedinthestudio，laughterinhereyesanduponherlips。Brentapparentlydidnotglanceather；yethesaid，“What”samusingyou？“
Sheconfessedall，ononeofherfrequentimpulsestocandor——thoseimpulsescharacteristicbothofweaknaturesunabletoexerciseself-restraintandofstrongnatures，indifferenttopettycriticismandmisunderstanding，andabsentfromvainmediocrity，whichalwayshasitself——thatis，appearances——onitsmind。Shedescribedinamusingdetailhowshehadplannedandgottogetherthecostumehowfoolishhisreceptionofithadmadeherfeel。“I”venodoubtyouguessedwhatwasinmyhead，“concludedshe。“Youseeeverything。”
“Ididnoticethatyouwerelookingunusuallywell，andthatyoufeltconsiderablysetupoverit，“saidhe。“Butwhynot？
Vanity”sanexcellentthing。Likeeverythingelseit”sgottobeused，notmisused。Itcanhelpustolearninsteadofpreventing。”
“Ihadanexcusefordressingup，“sheremindedhim。“Yousaidweweretodinetogether。Ithoughtyouwouldn”twanttheretobetoomuchcontrastbetweenus。NexttimeI”llbemoresensible。”
“Dressasyoulikeforthepresent，“saidhe。“Youcanalwayschangehere。Laterondresswillbeoneofthemainthings，ofcourse。Butnotnow。Haveyoulearnedthepart？“
Andtheybegan。Shesawatthefarendoftheroomaplatformabouttheheightofastage。HeexplainedthatGarvey，withthebookoftheplay，wouldtaketheotherpartsin_Lola”s_
scenes，andsentthembothtothestage。“Don”tbenervous，“
Garveysaidtoherinanundertone。“Hedoesn”texpectanythingofyou。Thisissimplytogetstarted。”Butshecouldnotsuppressthetremblinginherlegsandarms，thehystericalcontractionsofherthroat。However，shedidcontrivetogothroughthepart——Garveyprompting。Sheknewshewasridiculous；shecouldnotcarryoutasingleoneoftheideasof“business“whichhadcometoherasshestudied；
shewasawkward，inarticulate，panic-stricken。
“Rotten！“exclaimedBrent，whenshehadfinished。“Couldn”tbeworsetherefore，couldn”tbebetter。”
Shedroppedtoachairandsobbedhysterically。
“That”sright——cryitout，“saidBrent。“Leaveusalone，Garvey。”
Brentwalkedupanddownsmokinguntilsheliftedherheadandglancedathimwithapatheticsmile。“Takeacigarette，“hesuggested。“We”lltalkitover。Now，we”vegotsomethingtotalkabout。”
Shefoundrelieffromherembarrassmentinthecigarette。
“Youcanlaughatmenow，“shesaid。“Ishan”tmind。Infact，Ididn”tmind，thoughIthoughtIdid。IfIhad，I”dnothaveletyouseemecry。”
“Don”tthinkI”mdiscouraged，“saidBrent。“Thereverse。Youshowedthatyouhavenerveaverydifferentmatterfromimpudence。Impudencefailswhenit”smostneeded。Nervemakesonehangon，regardless。Insuchapanicasyourswas，theaveragegirlwouldhavefunkedabsolutely。Youstuckitout。Now，youandIwilltry_Lola”s_firstentrance。No，don”tthrowawayyourcigarette。_Lola_mightwellcomeinsmokingacigarette。”Shedidbetter。WhatBurlinghamhadoncethoroughlydrilledintohernowstoodheringoodstead，andBrent”ssympathyandenthusiasmgaveherthestimulatingsensethatheandshewereworkingtogether。Theyspenttheafternoonontheonething——_Lola_comingon，singinghergaysong，herhaltatsightof_Santuzza_and_Turiddu_，herlookat_Santuzza_，at_Turiddu_，hergreeting。foreach。Theytriedittwentydifferentways。Theydiscussedwhatwouldhavebeeninthemindsofallthree。Theybuiltup“business“for_Lola_，andforthetwootherstoincreasethesignificanceof_Lola”s_actions。
“AsI”vealreadytoldyou，“saidhe，“anyonewithavoiceandamovablebodycanlearntoact。There”snoquestionaboutyourbecomingagoodactress。Butit”llbesometimebeforeIcantellwhetheryoucanbewhatIhope——anactresswhoshowsnosignthatshe”sacting。”
Susanshowedthealarmshefelt。“I”mafraidyou”llfindattheendthatyou”vebeenwastingyourtime，“saidshe。
“Putitstraightoutofyourhead，“repliedhe。“Ineverwastetime。Toliveistolearn。Alreadyyou”vegivenmeanewplay——don”tforgetthat。InamonthI”llhaveitreadyforustouse。Besides，inteachingyouIteachmyself。Hungry？“
“No——thatis，yes。Ihadn”tthoughtofit，butI”mstarved。”
“Thissortofthinggivesoneanappetitelikeafieldhand。”
Heaccompaniedhertothedoorofthereardressing-roomonthefloorbelow。“Godowntothereceptionroomwhenyou”reready，“saidhe，ashelefthertogoontohisownsuitetochangehisclothes。“I”llbethere。”
Themaidcameimmediately，drewabathforher，afterwardhelpedhertodress。ItwasSusan”sfirstexperiencewithamaid，herfirstrealizationhowmuchtimeandtroubleonesavesoneselfiffreefromtheroutine，menialthings。Andthenandthereamaidwassetdownuponhersecretlistoftheluxuriouscomfortstowhichshewouldtreatherself——_when？_
Thecravingforluxuryisalwaysapart，usuallyapowerfulpart，ofanambitioustemperament。Ambitionissimplyavariouslymanifestedandvariouslydirectedimpulsetowardimprovement——adiscomfortsokeenthatitcompelsefforttochangetoapositionlessuncomfortable。Therehadneverbeenatimewhenluxuryhadnotattractedher。Attheslightestopportunityshehadalwayspushedoutforluxuries——forbetterfood，betterclothing，moreagreeablesurroundings。Eveninherworsthoursofdiscouragementshehadnotreallyrelaxedinthestruggleagainstragsanddirt。Andwhenmoralhorrorhadbeenbluntedbycustomanddrink，physicalhorrorhadremainedacute。For，humannaturebeingadevelopmentupwardthroughthephysicaltothespiritual，whenaprocessofdegenerationsetsin，thetopmostlayers，thespiritual，wearawayfirst——thenthoseinwhichthespiritualisalargeringredientthanthematerial——thenthoseinwhichthematerialisthelarger——andlastofallthosethatarepurelymaterial。
Aslifeeducatedher，asherintelligenceandherknowledgegrew，herappreciationofluxuryhadgrownapaceandherdesireforit。Withmosthumanbeings，theimaginationisaheavybirdoffeeblewing；itflieslow，seeingonlythethingsoftheearth。Whentheydescribeheaven，ithashousesofmarbleandstreetsofgold。Theirpretensetosightofhigherthingsiseithersheerpretenseorsightatsecondhand。Susanwasofthefewwhosefancycansoar。Shesawtheearthythings；shesawthethingsoftheupperregionsalso。
Andshesawthelowerregionfromthealtitudesofthehigher——andintheirperspective。
AssheandBrentstoodtogetheronthesidewalkbeforehishouse，abouttoenterhisbiglimousine，hissmiletoldherthathehadreadherthought——herdesireforsuchanautomobileasherveryown。“Ican”thelpit，“saidshe。
“It”smynaturetowantthesethings。”
“Andtowantthemintelligently，“saidhe。“Everybodywants，butonlythefewwantintelligently——andtheyget。Thethreeworstthingsintheworldaresickness，povertyandobscurity。
Yoursplendidhealthsafeguardsyouagainstsickness。Yourlooksandyourbrainscancarryyoufarawayfromtheothertwo。Youronedangerisofyieldingtothetemptationtobecomethewifeorthemistressofsomerichman。Theprospectofseveralyearsofheart-breakinghardworkisn”twildlyattractiveattwenty-two。”
“Youdon”tknowme，“saidSusan——buttheboastwasutteredunderherbreath。
TheautorusheduptoDelmonico”sentrance，cametoahaltabruptlyyetgently。Theattentivenessofthepersonnel，thestaringandwhisperingofthepeopleinthepalmroomshowedhowwellknownBrentwas。Therewereseveralwomen——handsomewomenofwhatiscalledtheNewYorktype，thoughitcertainlydoesnotrepresenttheaverageNewYorkwoman，whoispoorlydressedinflimsyready-madeclothesandhasthemottledskinthatindicatesbadfoodandtoolittlesleep。Thesehandsomewomenweredressedbeautifullyaswellasexpensively，inmodelsgotin——notfrom——Paris。OneofthemsmiledsweetlyatBrent，whoresponded，soSusanthought，ratherformally。Shefeltdowdyinherhome-madedress。Allherprideinitvanished；shesawonlyitsdefects。Andthegracefullycarelessmannerofthesewomen——themannersofthosewhofeelsureofthemselves——madeherfeel“green“andoutofplace。
Shewasdisgustedwiththefollythathadcausedhertothrillwithpleasurewhenhisordertohischauffeurathisdoortoldhershewasactuallytobetakentooneoftherestaurantsinwhichshehadwishedtoexhibitherselfwithhim。Sheheartilywishedshehadinsistedongoingwhereshewouldhavebeenaswelldressedandasmuchathomeasanyonethere。
Sheliftedhereyes，todistracthermindfromthesedepressingsensations。Brentwaslookingatherwiththatamused，mockingyetsympatheticexpressionwhichwasmostcharacteristicofhim。Sheblushedfuriously。
Helaughed。“No，I”mnotashamedofyourhomemadedress，“
saidhe。“Idon”tcarewhatisthoughtofmebypeoplewhodon”tgivemeanymoney。And，anyhow，youareeasilythemostunusuallookingandthemosttastefullydressedwomanhere。
Therestofthesewomenaredoomedforlifetocommonplaceobscurity。You——
“We”llseeyournameinlettersoffireontheBroadwaytemplesoffame。”
“Iknowyou”rehalflaughingatme，“saidSusan。“ButIfeelalittlebetter。”
“ThenI”maccomplishingmyobject。Let”snotthinkaboutourselves。Thatmakeslifenarrow。Let”skeepthethoughtsonourwork——onthebigsplendiddreamsthatcometousandinviteustolaborandtodare。”
Andastheylingeredoverthesatisfactorydinnerhehadordered，theytalkedofacting——ofthedifferentrolesof“Cavalleria“astypesoffundamentalinstinctsandactions——ofhowbesttoexpressthosemeanings——howtofillouttheskeletonsofthedramatistintopersonalitiesactualandvivid。Susanforgotwhereshewas，forgottobereservedwithhim。InherandRod”shappiestdaysshehadneverbeenfreefromtheconstraintofhisandherownsenseofhisgreatsuperiority。WithBrent，suchtriflesofthepettypersonaldisappeared。Andshetalkedmorenaturallythanshehadsinceagirlatheruncle”satSutherland。ShewasamazedbythefountainthathadsuddenlygushedforthinhermindattheconjuringofBrent”ssympathy。Shedidnotrecognizeherselfinthispersonsoopentoideas，soeagertolearn，soclearintheexpressionofherthoughts。NotsincetheBurlinghamdayshadshespentsolongatimewithamaninabsoluteunconsciousnessofsex。
Theywereinterruptedbytheintrusionofafashionableyoungmanwiththeexpressionofassurancewhichcomesfromthepossessionofwealthandtheknowledgethatmoneywillbuypracticallyeverythingandeverybody。Brentreceivedhimsocoldlythat，afterasmoothsentenceortwo，hetookhimselfoffstammeringandinconfusion。“Isuppose，“saidBrentwhenhewasgone，“thatyoungasshopedIwouldintroducehimtoyouandinvitehimtosit。Butyou”llbetemptedoftenenoughinthenextfewyearsbyrichmenwithoutmyhelpingtoputtemptationinyourway，“
“I”veneverbeentroubledthusfar，“laughedSusan。
“Butyouwill，now。Youhavedevelopedtothepointwhereeveryonewillsoonbeseeingwhatittookexperteyestoseeheretofore。”
“IfIamtempted，“saidSusan，“doyouthinkI”llbeabletoresist？“
“Idon”tknow，“confessedBrent。“Youhaveastrongsenseofhonesty，andthat”llkeepyouatworkwithmeforawhile。
Then——
“Ifyouhaveitinyoutobegreat，you”llgoon。Ifyou”remerelytheordinarywoman，alittlemoreintelligent，you”llprobably——sellout。AlltheadviceIhavetoofferis，don”tsellcheap。Asyou”renothamperedbyrespectabilityorbyinexperience，youneedn”t。”Hereflectedamoment，thenadded，“Andifyoueverdodecidethatyoudon”tcaretogoonwithacareer，tellmefrankly。Imaybeabletohelpyouintheotherdirection。”
“Thankyou，“saidSusan，herstrangeeyesfixeduponhim。
“Whydoyouputsomuchgratitudeinyourtoneandinyoureyes？“askedhe。
“Ididn”tputitthere，“sheanswered。“It——justcame。AndIwasgratefulbecause——well，I”mhuman，youknow，anditwasgoodtofeel——that——that——”
“Goon，“saidhe，asshehesitated。
“I”mafraidyou”llmisunderstand。”
“Whatdoesitmatter，ifIdo？“
“Well——you”veactedtowardmeasifIwereameremachinethatyouwereexperimentingwith。”
“Andsoyouare。”
“Iunderstandthat。Butwhenyouofferedtohelpme，ifI
happenedtowanttodosomethingdifferentfromwhatyouwantmetodo，itmademefeelthatyouthoughtofmeasahumanbeing，too。”
Theexpressionofhisunseeingeyespuzzledher。Shebecamemuchembarrassedwhenhesaid，“AreyoudissatisfiedwithSpenser？Doyouwanttochangelovers？Areyourevolvingmeasapossibility？“
“Ihaven”tforgottenwhatyousaid，“sheprotested。
“Butafewwordsfrommewouldn”tchangeyoufromawomanintoasexlessambition。”
Anexpressionofwistfulsadnesscreptintotheviolet-grayeyes，incontrasttothebravelysmilinglips。ShewasthinkingofherbirththathadcondemnedhertothatfarmerFerguson，fullasmuchasofthelifeofthestreets，whenshesaid：
“Iknowthatamanlikeyouwouldn”tcareforawomanofmysort。”
“IfIwereyou，“saidhegently，“I”dnotsaythosethingsaboutmyself。Sayingthemencouragesyoutothinkthem。Andthinkingthemgivesyouafalsepointofview。Youmustlearntoappreciatethatyou”renotashelteredwoman，withreputationforvirtueasyouroneasset，thethingthat”llenableyoutogetsomemantoundertakeyoursupport。Youaredealingwiththeworldasamandealswithit。Youmustdemandandinsistthattheworlddealwithyouonthatbasis。”TherecameawonderfullookofcourageandhopeintotheeyesofLorella”sdaughter。
“Andtheworldwill，“hewenton。“Atleast，theonlypartofitthat”simportanttoyou——orreallyimportantinanyway。
Thematterofyourvirtueorlackofitisofnomoreimportancethanismyvirtueorlackofit。”
“Doyou_really_believethatway？“askedSusan，earnestly。
“Itdoesn”tintheleastmatterwhetherIdoornot，“laughedhe。“Don”tbotheraboutwhatIthink——whatanyonethinks——ofyou。Thepointhere，asalways，isthatyoubelieveit，yourself。There”snoreasonwhyawomanwhoismakingacareershouldnotbevirtuous。Shewillprobablynotgetfarifsheisn”tmoreorlessso。Dissipationdoesn”thelpmanorwoman，especiallytheruinousdissipationoflicenseinpassion。Ontheotherhand，nowomancaneverhopetomakeacareerwhopersistsinnarrowingandcheapeningherselfwiththenotionthathervirtueisherall。She”llnotamounttomuchasaworkerinthefieldsofaction。”
Susanreflected，sighed。“It”svery，veryhardtogetridofone”ssex。”
“It”simpossible，“declaredhe。“Don”ttry。Butdon”tletitworryyou，either。”
“Everyonecan”tbeasstrongasyouare——soabsorbedinacareerthattheycarefornothingelse。”
Thisamusedhim。Withforearmsontheedgeofthetableheturnedhiscigaretteslowlyroundbetweenhisfingers，watchingthesmokecurlupfromit。Sheobservedthattherewasmorethanalightsprinkleofgrayinhisthick，carefullybrushedhair。Shewasfilledwithcuriosityastothethoughtsjusttheninthatmarvelousbrainofhis；nordiditlessenhercuriositytoknowthatneverwouldthosethoughtsberevealedtoher。Whatwomenhadheloved？Whatwomenhadlovedhim？Whatfollieshadhecommitted？Fromhowmanysourceshemusthavegatheredhisknowledgeofhumannatureof——womannature！Andnodoubthewasstillgathering。
Whatwomanwasitnow？
Whenheliftedhisglancefromthecigarette，itwastocallthewaiterandgetthebill。“I”veasupperengagement，“hesaid，“andit”snearlyeleveno”clock。”
“Eleveno”clock！“sheexclaimed。
“Timesdoesfly——doesn”tit？——whenamanandawoman，eachanunexploredmysterytotheother，arediningaloneandtalkingaboutthemselves。”
“Itwasmyfault，“saidSusan。
Hisquizzicaleyeslookedintohers——uncomfortablyfar。
Sheflushed。“YoumakemefeelguiltierthanIam，“sheprotested，undercoveroflaughingglanceandtoneofraillery。
“Guilty？Ofwhat？“
“YouthinkI”vebeentryingto——to`encourage”you，“repliedshefrankly。
“Andwhyshouldn”tyou，ifyoufeelsoinclined？“laughedhe。
“Thatdoesn”tcompelmetobe——encouraged。”
“HonestlyIhaven”t，“saidshe，thecontentsofseriousnessstillinthegaywrapperofraillery。“Atleastnotanymorethan——”
“Youknow，awomanfeelsboundto`encourage”amanwhopiquesherbyseeming——difficult。”
“Naturally，you”dnothaveobjectedtobaptizingthenewhatanddresswithmyheart”sblood。”Shecouldnothavehelpedlaughingwithhim。“Unfortunatelyforyou——orratherforthenewtoilette——mypoorheartwasbleddrylong，longago。I”mabusyman，too——busyandalittletired。”
“Ideserveitall，“saidshe。“I”vebroughtitonmyself。
AndI”mnotabitsorryIstartedthesubject。I”vefoundoutyou”requitehuman——andthat”llhelpmetoworkbetter。”
Theyseparatedwiththesmilingfacesofthosewhohaveaddedaneveningaltogetherpleasanttomemory”sstoreofthepast”shappyhours——thatroomystorehousewhichisalltooemptyevenwherethelifehasbeenwhatiscountedhappy。Heinsistedonsendingherhomeinhisauto，himselftakingataxitothePlayers”wherethesupperwasgiven。Themomentshewasalonefortheshortridehome，hergayetyevaporatedlikeadeliciousbutunstableperfume。
Why？Perhapsitwasthesightofthegirlsonthestroll。
Hadshereallybeenoneofthem？——andonlyafewdaysago？
Impossible！Notshenottherealself……andperhapsshewouldbebacktherewiththembeforelong。No——never，never，inanycircumstances！……Shehadsaid，“Never！“thefirsttimesheescapedfromthetenements，yetshehadgoneback……
wereanyofthosegirlsstrollingalong——were，again，anyofthemFreddiePalmer”s？Atthethoughtsheshiveredandquailed。Shehadnotthoughtofhim，exceptcasually，inmanymonths。Whatifheshouldseeher，shouldstillfeelvengeful——hewhoneverforgotorforgave——whowoulddareanything！Andshewouldbedefenselessagainsthim……Sherememberedwhatshehadlastreadabouthiminthenewspaper。
Hehadrisenintheworld，wasnolongerinthecriminalclassapparently，hadmovedtotheclassofsemi-criminalwhollyrespectablecontractor-politician。No，hehadlongsinceforgottenher，vindictiveItalianthoughhewas。
Theautosetherdownathome。HertremorsaboutFreddiedeparted；butthedepressionremained。Shefeltphysicallyasifshehadbeensittingalleveninginastuffyroomwithadullcompanyafteraheavy，badlyselecteddinner。Shefelleasypreytooneofthosefitsofthebluestowhichallimaginativeyoungpeopleareatleastoccasionalvictims，andbywhichthosecursedandhamperedwiththeoptimistictemperamentarehauntedandharassedandallbutorquiteundone。Shehadasenseoffailure，ofhavingmadeabadimpression。Shefearedhe，recallingandreinspectingwhatshehadsaid，wouldgettheideathatshewasnotinearnest，wasmerelylookingforalover——forachancetoleadalifeofluxuriousirresponsibility。Woulditnotbenaturalforhim，whoknewwomenwell，toassumefromhermistakenlycandidremarks，thatshewasliketherestofthewomen，boththerespectableandthefree？Whyshouldhebelieveinher，whenshedidnotaltogetherbelieveinherselfbutsuspectedherselfofasecrethankeringaftersomethingmoreimmediate，moreeasyandmoresecurethanthestagecareer？Thelongershethoughtofitthecleareritseemedtohertobethatshehadoncemorefallenvictimtotoomuchhope，toomuchoptimism，toomuchandtooreadybeliefinherfellow-beings——shewhohadsufferedsomuchfromthesefollies，andhadtriedsohardtoschoolherselfagainstthem。
Shefoughtthismoodofdepression——foughtalone，forSpenserdidnotnoticeandshewouldnotannoyhim。Shesleptlittlethatnight；shefeltthatshecouldnothopeforpeaceuntilshehadseenBrentagain。XVI
TOWARDhalf-pasttenthenextday，afewminutesafterRodleftforthetheater，shewasinthebathroomcleaningthecoffeemachine。Therecameaknockatthedoorofthesitting-roombedroom。Intosuchdisorderhadhermoodofdepressionworriedhernervesthatshedroppedthecoffeemachineintothewashbowlandjumpedasifshewereseeingaghost。Severaldirecalamitiestookvagueshapeinhermind，thentheimageofFreddiePalmer，smilingsweetly，cruelly。
Shewaveredonlyamoment，wenttothedoor，andafterabriefhesitationthatstillfurtherdepressedheraboutherselfsheopenedit。Themaid——agood-naturedslovenwhohadbecomedevotedtoSusanbecauseshegaveherliberalfeesandmadehernoextrawork——wasstandingthere，inanattitudeofsuppressedexcitement。Susanlaughed，forthismaidwasabornagitator，apersonwhoisalwaystryingtofindathrillortoputathrillintothemosttrivialevent。
“Whatisitnow，Annie？“Susanasked。
“Mr。Spenser——he”sgone，hasn”the？“
“Yes——aquarterofanhourago。”
Anniedrewabreathofdeeprelief。“Iwassurehehadwent，“
saidshe，producingfromunderherapronanote。“Isawitwasinagentleman”swriting，soIdidn”tcomeupwithittillhewasoutoftheway，thoughtheboybroughtitalittleafternine。”
“Oh，bother！“exclaimedSusan，takingthenote。
“Well，Mrs。Spenser，I”vehadmylesson，“repliedAnnie，apologeticbutfirm。“WhenIfirstcametoNewYork，greenasthegrassthatgrowsalongtheedgeofthespring，whatdoesIdobutgotoworkandtakeupanotetoaladywhenherhusbandwasthere！NextthingIknewhewenttoworkandhauledherroundthefloorbythehairandskinnedout——yes，beatitforgood。Andmymadamsaystome，`Annie，you”refired。Nevergiveanotetoaladywhenhergentisbyortoagentwhenhislady”sby。That”sthefirstruleoflifeingayNewYork。”AndyoucanbetIneverhavesince——norneverwill。”
Susanhadglancedattheaddressonthenote，hadrecognizedthehandwritingofBrent”ssecretary。Herhearthadstraightwaysunkasiftheforebodingofcalamityhadbeenrealized。Asshestoodthereuncertainly，Annieseizedtheopportunitytorunonandon。Susannowsaidabsently，“Thankyou。Verywell，“andclosedthedoor。Itwasaminuteorsobeforeshetoreopentheenvelopewithanimpatientgestureandread：
DEARMRS。SPENSER：
Mr。Brentrequestsmetoaskyounottocomeuntilfurthernotice。Itmaybesometimebeforehewillbefreetoresume。
Yourstruly，JOHNC。GARVEY。
ItwasafairspecimenofGarvey”sofficialstyle，withwhichshehadbecomeacquainted——thestyleofthesecretarywhohaslearnedbyexperiencenottousefrillsorflourishesbuttoconveyhismessageinthefewestandclearestwords。HaditbeenaskillfullywordedinsultSusan，inthismoodofdepressionanddistortedmentalvision，couldnothavereceiveditdifferently。Shedroppedtoachairatthetableandstaredatthefivelinesofneathandwritinguntilhereyesbecamecircledandherfacealmosthaggard。PreciselyasRodhaddescribed！Afteralong，longtimeshecrumpledthepaperandletitfallintothewaste-basket。Thenshewalkedupanddowntheroom——presentlydriftedintothebathroomandresumedcleaningthecoffeemachine。Everyfewmomentsshewouldpauseinthetask——andinherdressingafterwards——wouldbeseizedbythefear，thehorrorofagainbeingthrustintothathideousunderworld。Whatwasbetweenherandit，tosaveherfrombeingflungbackintoitsdegradation？Twomenonneitherofwhomshecouldrely。Brentmightdropheratanytime——perhapshadalreadydroppedher。AsforRod——vain，capricious，faithless，certaintobecomeanunendurabletyrantifhegotherinhispower——RodwasevenlessofanecessitythanBrent。Whatadangeroussituationwashers！
Howslenderherchancesofescapefromanothercatastrophe。
Sheleanedagainstwallortableandwasshakenbyviolentfitsofshuddering。Shefeltherselfslipping——slipping。Itwasallshecoulddotorefrainfromcryingout。Inthosemoments，notraceoftheself-possessedSusantheworldalwayssaw。Herfancywentmadandranwild。Shequiveredundertheactualityofcoarsecontacts——Mrs。Tuckerinbedwithher——themenwhohadboughtherbodyforanhour——theverminofthetenements——thebrutalhandsofpolicemen。
Thenwithanexclamationofimpatienceorofangershewouldshakeherselftogetherandgoresolutelyon——onlyagaintorelapse。“BecauseIsosuddenlycutofftheliquorandtheopium，“shesaid。Itwastheobviousandthecompleteexplanation。Butherheartwaslikelead，andherskylikeink。Thisnote，thedayafterhavingtriedheroutasapossibilityforthestageandasawoman。Shestareddownatthecrumplednoteinthewast-basket。Thatnote——itwasherself。Hehadcrumpledherupandthrownherintothewaste-basket，whereshenodoubtbelonged。
Itwasnearlynoonbeforeshe，dressedwithunconsciouscare，stoodinthestreetdoorwaylookingaboutuncertainlyasifshedidnotknowwhichwaytoturn。ShefinallymovedinthedirectionofthetheaterwhereRod”splaywasrehearsing。ShehadgonetononeoftherehearsalsbecauseRodhadrequestedit。“Iwantyoutoseeitasatotalsurprisethefirstnight，“explainedhe。“That”llgiveyoumorepleasure，andalsoitwillmakeyourcriticismmorevaluabletous。”Andshehadacquiesced，notdispleasedtohaveallhertimeforherownaffairs。Butnowshe，dazed，stunnedalmost，convincedthatitwasalloverforherwithBrent，instinctivelyturnedtoRodtogethumanhelp——nottoaskforit，butinthehopethatsomehowhewoulddivineandwouldsayordosomethingthatwouldmakethewayaheadalittlelessforbidding——somethingthatwouldheartenherforthefewfirststeps，anyhow。Sheturnedbackseveraltimes——now，becauseshefearedRodwouldn”tlikehercoming；againbecauseherexperience——enlightenedgoodsense——toldherthatRodwould——could——nothelpher，thathersolereliancewasherself。Butintheend，drivenbyoneofthosespasmsofterrorlesttheunderworldshouldbeabouttoengulfheragain，shestoodatthestagedoor。
Asshewasabouttonegotiatethesurlylookingmanonguardwithin，Sperrycamerushingdownthelongdarkpassageway。Hewasbrushingpastherwhenhesawwhoitwas。“Toolate！“hecried。“Rehearsal”sover。”
“Ididn”tcometotherehearsal，“explainedSusan。“IthoughtperhapsRodwouldbegoingtolunch。”
“Soheis。Gostraightback。You”llfindhimonthestage。
I”lljoinyouifyou”llwaitaminuteorso。”AndSperryhurriedonintothestreet。
Susanadvancedalongthepassagewaycautiouslyasitwasbutoneremovefrompitchdark。Perhapsfiftyfeet，andshecametoacrosspassage。Asshehesitated，adooratthefarendofitopenedandshecaughtaglimpseofadressing-roomand，inthespacemadebythepartlyopeneddoor，awomanhalf-dressed——anattractiveglimpse。Thewoman——whoseemedyoung——wasnotlookingdownthepassage，butintotheroom。
Shewaslaughinginthewayawomanlaughsonlywhenitisforaman，for_the_man——andwassaying，“Now，Rod，youmustgo，andgivemeachancetofinishdressing。”Aman”sarm——Rod”sarm——reachedacrosstheopeninginthedoorway。Ahand——SusanrecognizedRod”swell-shapedhand——waslaidstronglyyettenderlyupontheprettybarearmofthestruggling，laughingyoungwoman——andthedoorclosed——andthepassagewassoot-darkagain。Allthisamatteroflessthanfiveseconds。Susan，ashamedathavingcaughthim，frightenedlestsheshouldbefoundwhereshehadnobusinesstobe，fledbackalongthemainpassageandjerkedopenthestreetdoor。SheransquarelyintoSperry。
“I——Ibegyourpardon，“stammeredhe。“Iwasinsucharush——IoughttohavebeenthinkingwhereIwasgoing。DidI
hurtyou？“Thislastmostanxiously。“I”msosorry——”
“It”snothing——nothing，“laughedSusan。“Youaretheonethat”shurt。”
AndinfactshehadknockedSperrybreathless。“Youdon”tlookanythinglikesostrong，“gaspedhe。
“Oh，myappearanceisdeceptive——inalotofways。”
Forinstance，hecouldhavegotfromherfacejustthennohintoftheagonyoffeartorturingher——fearofthedropintotheunderworld。
“FindRod？“askedhe。
“Hewasn”tonthestage。So——Icameoutagain。”
“Waithere，“saidSperry。“I”llhunthimup。”
“Oh，no——pleasedon”t。Istoppedonimpulse。I”llnotbotherhim。”Shesmiledmischievously。“Imightbeinterrupting。”
Sperrypromptlyreddened。Shehadnodifficultyinreadingwhatwasinhismind——thatherremarkhadremindedhimofRod”s“affair，“andhewascursinghimselfforhavingbeensostupidastoforgetitforthemomentandputhispartnerindangerofdetection。
“I——Iguesshe”sgone，“stammeredSperry。“Lord，butthatwasaknockyougaveme！Bettercometolunchwithme。”
Susanhesitated，awistful，forlornlookinhereyes。“Doyoureallywantme？“askedshe。
“Comerightalong，“saidSperryinatonethatleftnodoubtofhissincerity。“We”llgototheKnickerbockerandhavesomethinggoodtoeat。”
“Oh，no——aquieterplace，“urgedSusan。
Sperrylaughed。“Youmeanlessexpensive。There”soneofthegreatbigdifferencesbetweenyouandthemake-believeladiesonebumpsintointhispartoftown。_You_don”tliketobetroublesomeorexpensive。Butwe”llgototheKnickerbocker。
Ifeel”waydowntoday，andIintendedtotreatmyself。Youdon”tlookanytoogay-heartedyourself。”
“I”lladmitIdon”tlikethewaythecardsarerunning，“saidSusan。“But——they”llrunbetter——soonerorlater。”
“Sure！“criedSperry。“Youneedn”tworryabouttheplay。
That”sallright。HowIenvywomen！“
“Why？“
“Oh——youhaveRodbetweenyouandthefight。WhileI——I”vegottolookoutformyself。”
“SohaveI，“saidSusan。“Sohaseveryone，forthatmatter。”
“Believeme，Mrs。Spenser，“criedSperry，earnestly，“youcancountonRod。Nomatterwhat——”
“Please！“protestedSusan。“Icountonnobody。Ilearnedlongagonottolean。”
“Well，leaningisn”texactlyasafeposition，“Sperryadmitted。“Thereneverwasaperfectlyreliablecrutch。
Tellmeyourtroubles。”
Susansmilinglyshookherhead。“That”dbeleaning……No，thankyou。I”vegottothinkitoutformyself。IbelievedIhadarrangedforacareerformyself。ItseemstohavegonetopiecesThat”sall。Somethingelsewillturnup——afterlunch。”
“Notadoubtintheworld，“repliedheconfidently。
“Meanwhile——there”sRod。”
Susan”slaughofraillerymadehimblushguiltily。“Yes，“
saidshe，“there”sRod。”Shelaughedagain，merrily。
“There”sRod——butwhereisthere？“
“You”retheonlywomanintheworldhehasanyreallikingfor，“saidSperry，earnestandsincere。“Don”tyoueverdoubtthat，Mrs。Spenser。”
Whentheywereseatedinthecafeandhehadordered，heexcusedhimselfandSusansawhimmakehiswaytoatablewheresatFitzalanandanothermanwholookedasifhetoohadtodowiththestage。ItwasapparentthatFitzalanwasexcitedaboutsomething；hislips，hisarms，hisheadwereinincessantmotion。SusannotedthathehadpickedupmanyofBrent”smannerisms；shehadgotthehabitofnotingthisimitativenessinmen——andinwomen，too——fromhavingseenintheolddayshowRodtookonthetricksofspeech，manner，expression，thoughteven，ofwhatevermanhehappenedatthetimetobeadmiring。MayitnothavebeenthistraitofRod”sthatgaveherthecluetohischaracter，whenshewasthinkinghimover，aftertheseparation？
Sperrywasgonenearlytenminutes。Hecame，fullofapologies。“FitzheldontomewhileheroastedBrent。
You”veheardofBrent，ofcourse？“
“Yes，“saidSusan。
“Fitzhasbeenseeinghimoff。Andhesaysit”s——”
Susanglancedquicklyathim。“Off？“shesaid。
“ToEurope。”
Susanhadpausedinremovingherleftglove。Rod”sdescriptionofBrent”swayofsidestepping——Rod”sdescriptiontothelastdetail。Herhandsfluttereduncertainly——flutteringfingerslikeaflockofbirdsflushedandconfusedbythebangofthegun。
“AndFitzsays——”
“ForEurope，“saidSusan。Shewasdrawingherfingersslowlyonebyonefromthefingersofherglove。
“Yes。Hesailed，itseems，onimpulsebarelytimetoclimbaboard。Fitzalwayslayseverythingtoawoman。HesaysBrenthasbeenmixedupforayearorsowith——Oh，itdoesn”tmatter。Ioughtn”ttorepeatthosethings。Idon”tbelieve”em——onprinciple。Everyman——orwoman——whoamountstoanythinghasscandaltalkedabouthimorherallthetime。
GoodLord！IfRobertBrentbotheredwithhalftheaffairsthatarecreditedtohim，he”dhavenotimeorstrength——nottospeakofbrains——todoplays。”
“Iguesseventhebusiestmanmanagestofitawomaninsomehow，“observedSusan。“Awomanorso。”
Sperrylaughed。“Iguessyes，“saidhe。“ButastoBrent，mostofthescandalabouthimisduetoafadofhis——huntingforanundevelopedfemalegeniuswho——”
“I”veheardofthat，“interruptedSusan。“Theserviceisdreadfullyslowhere。Howlongisitsinceyouordered？“
“Twentyminutes——andherecomesourwaiter。”Andthen，beingoneofthosewhomustfinishwhatevertheyhavebegun，hewenton。“Well，it”strueBrentdoespickupanddropagoodmanyladiesofonekindandanother。Andnaturally，everyoneofthemisgood-lookingandcleverorhe”dnotstartin。
But——youmaylaughatmeifyoulike——Ithinkhe”sstrictlybusinesswithallofthem。He”dhavegotintotroubleifhehadn”tbeen。AndFitzadmitsthisonewoman——she”sasocietywoman——istheonlyonethere”sanyrealbasisfortalkaboutinconnectionwithBrent。”
Susanhadseveraltimesliftedaspoonfulofsouptoherlipsandhadeverytimeloweredituntasted。
“AndBrent”smightydecenttothosehetriesandhastogiveup。Iknowofonewomanhecarriedonhispayrollfornearlytwoyears——”
“Let”sdropMr。Brent，“criedSusan。“Tellmeabout——abouttheplay。”
“Rodmustbegivingyouanoverdoseofthat。”
“I”venotseenmuchofhimlately。Howwastherehearsal？“
“Fair——fair。”AndSperryforgotBrentandtalkedonandonabouttheplay，notcheckinghimselfuntilthecoffeewasserved。HehadnotobservedthatSusanwaseatingnothing。
Neitherhadheobservedthatshewasnotlistening；buttherewasexcuseforthisoversight，asshehadsetherexpressionatabsorbedattentionbeforewithdrawingwithinherselftothink——andtosuffer。ShecametothesurfaceagainwhenSperry，complainingofthewaytheleadingladywasdoingherpart，said：“NowonderBrentdropsoneafteranother。Womenaren”tworthmuchasworkers。Theirrealmind”salwaysoccupiedwiththesearchforamantosupport”em。”
“Notalways，“criedSusan，quiveringwithsuddenpain。“Oh，no，Mr。Sperry——notalways。”
“Yes——thereareexceptions，“saidSperry，notnotinghowhehadwoundedher。“But——well，Ineverhappenedtorunacrossone。”
“Canyoublamethem？“mockedSusan。Shewasashamedthatshehadbeenstungintocryingout。
“Tobehonest——no，“saidSperry。“IsuspectI”dthrowupthespongeandselloutifIhadanythingaladywithcashwantedtobuy。Ionly_suspect_myself。ButI_know_mostmenwould。
No，Idon”tblametheladies。Whynothaveaniceeasytime？
Onlyoneshortlife——andthen——theworms。”
Shewasstrugglingwiththere-arousedinsaneterrorofafallbacktothedepthswhenceshehadoncemorejustcome——andshefeltthat，ifshefellagain，itwouldmeantheveryendofhope。Itmusthavebeeninstinctoraccident，foritcertainlywasnotanypromptingfromhercalmexpression，thatmovedhimtosay：
“Now，tellme_your_troubles。I”vetoldyoumine……Yousurelymusthavesome？“
Susanforcedasuccessfulsmileofraillery。“Nonetospeakof，“evadedshe。
Whenshereachedhometherewasatelegram——fromBrent：
Compelledtosailsuddenly。Shallbebackinafewweeks。
Don”tmindthisannoyinginterruption。R。B。
Averyfewminutesaftershereadthesewords，shewasatworkontheplay。But——averyfewminutesthereaftershewassittingwiththeplayinherlap，eyesgazingintotheblackandmenacingfuture。Themisgivingsofthenightbeforehadbeenfedandfattenedintodespairingcertaintiesbytheeventsoftheday。Thesunwasshining，nevermorebrightly；
butitwasnotthelightofherCityoftheSun。Shestayedinallafternoonandallevening。DuringthosehoursbeforesheputoutthelightandshutherselfawayinthedarkascoreofSusans，everyonedifferentfromeveryother，hadbeenseenuponthelittletheaterofthatlodginghouseparlor-bedroom。TherehadbeenahopefulSusan，asadbutresolvedSusan，astrongSusan，aweakSusan；therehadbeenSusanswhocouldnothaveshedatear；therehadbeenSusanswhoshedmanytears——someofthemSusansallbitterness，othersSusansallhumilityandself-reproach。Anyspectatorwouldhavebeenpuzzledbythisshiftingofpersonality。
Susanherselfwascompletelyconfused。Shesoughtforherrealselfamongthismultitudesocontradictory。Eachsuccessiveoneseemedthereality；yetnonepersisted。Whenwelookinatourownsouls，itislikelookingintoamany-sidedroomlinedwithmirrors。Weseereflections——re-reflections——viewsatallangles——butwecannotdistinguishthesoulitselfamongallthesecounterfeits，allrealyetallfalsebecausepartial。
“WhatshallIdo？WhatcanIdo？WhatwillIdo？“——thatwasherlastcryasthedayended。Anditwasherfirstcryasherwearybrainawakenedforthenewday。
AttheendoftheweekcametheregularcheckwithanotefromGarvey——lessmachine-like，morehuman。Heapologizedfornothavingcalled，saidonethingandanotherhadprevented，andnowillnessofanearrelativecompelledhimtoleavetownforafewdays，butassoonashecamebackhewouldimmediatelycall。ItseemedtoSusanthattherecouldbebutonereasonwhyheshouldcall——thereasonthatwouldmakeatimid，soft-heartedmansuchasheputoffapersonalinterviewaslongashecouldfindexcuses。Sheflushedhotwithrageandshameasshereflectedonherposition。Garveypityingher！
Shestraightwaysatdownandwrote：
DEARMR。GARVEY：DonotsendmeanymorechecksuntilMr。
BrentcomesbackandIhaveseenhim。IamindoubtwhetherIshallbeabletogoonwiththeworkheandIhadarranged。
Shesignedthis“SusanLenox“anddispatchedit。Atonceshefeltbetterinspiteofthefactthatshehad，withcharacteristicandfatalfolly，hergoodsensewarnedher，cutherselfofffromalltheincomeinsightorinprospect。Shehaddebatedsendingbackthecheck，buthaddecidedthatifshedidshemightgivetheimpressionofpiqueoranger。No，shewouldgivehimeverychancetowithdrawfromabargainwithwhichhewasnotcontent；andhewouldgettheideathatitwasshewhowasendingthearrangement，wouldthereforefeelnosenseofresponsibilityforher。Shewouldsaveherpride；shewouldsparehisfeelings。ShewastakingcounselofBurlinghamthesedays——wasrecallingthelessonhehadtaughther，wasgettinghisaidindecidinghercourse。
Burlinghamprotestedvehementlyagainstthissendingbackofthecheck；butsheletherpride，heraversiontobeinganobjectofpity，overrulehim。
Afewdaysmore，andshewassodesperate，soharassedthatshealtogetherlostconfidenceinherownjudgment。WhileoutwardlysheseemedtobethesameasalwayswithRod，shehadafeelingofutteralienation。Still，therewasnooneelsetowhomshecouldturn。Shouldsheputthefactsbeforehimandaskhisopinion？Herintelligencesaidno；herheartsaidperhaps。Whileshewashesitating，hedecidedforher。
Onemorningatbreakfasthestoppedtalkingabouthimselflongenoughtoaskcarelessly：
“AboutyouandBrent——he”sgoneaway。Whatareyoudoing？“
“Nothing，“saidshe。
“Goingtotakethatbusinessupagain，whenhecomesback？“
“Idon”tknow。”
“Iwouldn”tcountonit，ifIwereyou……You”resosensitivethatI”vehesitatedtosayanything。ButIthinkthatchapwaslookingfortrouble，andwhenhefoundyouwerealreadyengaged，why，hemadeuphismindtodropit。”
“Doyouthinkso？“saidSusanindifferently。“Morecoffee？“
“Yes——alittle。Ifmyplay”sasgoodasyourcoffee——
That”senough，thanks……Doyoustilldrawyour——your——”
Histoneashecastaboutforafitwordmadeherflushscarlet。“No——Istoppedituntilwebeginworkagain。”
Hedidnotconcealhisthoroughsatisfaction。“That”sright！“
hecried。“Theonlycloudonourhappinessisgone。Youknow，amandoesn”tlikethatsortofthing。”
“Iknow，“saidSusandrily。
AndsheunderstoodwhythatverynightheforthefirsttimeaskedhertosupperaftertherehearsalwithSperryandConstanceFrancklyn，theleadinglady，withwhomhewashavingoneofthoseaffairswhichashedeclaredtoSperrywere“absolutelynecessarytoamanofgeniustokeephimfreshenedup——tokeepthefireburningbrightly。”HehadcarefullycoachedMissFrancklyntoplaythepartofunsuspected“understudy“——SusansawthatbeforetheyhadbeenseatedinJack”stenminutes。Andshealsosawthathewashimselfresolvedtoconducthimself“likeagentleman。”Butafterhehadtakentwoorthreehighballs，SusanwasforcedtoengagedeeplyinconversationwiththeexasperatedandalarmedSperrytoavoidseeinghowmadlyRodandConstancewereflirting。
She，however，didcontrivetoseenothing——atleast，theotherthreewereconvincedthatshehadnotseen。Whentheywerebackintheirrooms，Rod——whetherthroughpretenseorthroughsidetrackedamorousnessorfromsimpleintoxication——becamemoredemonstrativethanhehadbeenforalongtime。
“No，there”snobodylikeyou，“hedeclared。“EvenifI
wanderedI”dalwayscomebacktoyou。”
“Really？“saidSusanwithcarelessirony。“That”sgood。No，Icanunhookmyblouse。”
“Idobelieveyou”regrowingcold。”
“Idon”tfeellikebeingmessedwithtonight。”
“Oh，verywell，“saidhesulkily。Then，forgettinghisillhumorafterafewminutesofwatchinghergracefulmovementsandgesturesasshetookoffherdressandmadeherbeautifulhairreadyforthenight，heburstoutinaverydifferenttone：“Youdon”tknowhowgladIamthatyou”redependentonmeagain。You”llnotbedifficultanymore。”
Amoment”ssilence，thenSusan，withaqueerlittlelaugh，“Mendon”tintheleastmind——dothey？“
“Mindwhat？“
“Beinglovedformoney。”Therewasaworldofsarcasminheraccentonthatwordloved。
“Oh，nonsense。Youdon”tunderstandyourself，“declaredhewithlargeconfidence。“Womennevergrowup。They”relikebabies——andbabies，youknow，lovethepersonthatfeedsthem。”
“Anddogs——andcats——andbirds——andallthelowerorders。”
Shetookabookandsatinawrapperunderthelight。
“Cometobed——please，dear，“pleadedhe。
“No，I”llreadawhile。”
Andsheheldthebookbeforeheruntilhewasasleep。Thenshesatalongtime，herelbowsonherknees，herchinsupportedbyherhands，hergazefixeduponhisface——thefaceofthemanwhowashermasternow。Shemustpleasehim，mustacceptwhattreatmenthesawfittogive，mustreininherambitionstosuittheuncertaingaitandstayingpowerofhisabilitytoachieve。Shecouldnotleavehim；hecouldleaveherwhenhemightfeelsoinclined。Hermaster——capricious，tyrannical，adrunkard。Hersolereliance——andthefirstconditionofhisprotectionwasthatsheshouldnottrytodoforherself。Adependent，condemnedtobecomeevenmoredependent。XVII
SHEnowspentalargepartofeverydayinwandering，likeaderelict，driftingaimlesslythiswayorthat，upintotheParkoralongFifthAvenue。Shegazedintentlyintoshopwindows，apparentlyinspectingcarefullyallthearticlesondisplay；butshepassedon，unconsciousofhavingseenanything。Ifshesatathomewithabooksherarelyturnedapage，thoughhergazewasfastenedupontheprintasifshewereabsorbinglyinterested。
Whatwasshefeeling？Thecoarsecontactsofstreetlifeandtenementlife——thechoicebetweenmonstrousdefilementsfromhumanbeingsandmonstrousdefilementsfromfilthandvermin。
Whatwassheseeing？Theoldwomenoftheslums——theforlorn，alooffiguresofshatteredhealthandlooks——creepingalongthegutters，dancinginthebarrelhouses，sleepingonthefloorinsomevileholeinthewall——sleepingthesleepfromwhichoneawakesbittenbymiceandbugs，andswarmingwithlice。
ShehadentireconfidenceinBrent”sjudgment。Brentmusthavediscoveredthatshewaswithouttalentforthestage——forifhehadthoughtshehadtheleasttalent，wouldhenotinhiskindnesshavearrangedorofferedsomesortofplaceinsometheaterorother？Sinceshehadnostagetalent——then——whatshouldshedo？What_could_shedo？Andsohermindwanderedasaimlesslyasherwanderingsteps。Andneverbeforehadthesweetmelancholyofhereyesbeensomoving。
But，thoughshedidnotrealizeit，therewasahighlysignificantdifferencebetweenthismoodofprofounddiscouragementandalltheothersimilarmoodsthathadaccompaniedandacceleratedherdownwardplunges。Everytimetheretofore，shehadbeencowedbythecrushingmandateofdestiny——hadmadenostruggleagainstitbeyondthefutilethreshingsaboutofaimlessyouth。Thistimeshelostneitherstrengthnorcourage。Shewasnolongerachild；shewasnolongermerehumanflotsamandjetsam。Shedidnotknowwhichwaytoturn；butshedidknow，withallthecertaintyofadauntlesswill，thatshewouldturnsomeway——andthatitwouldnotbeawayleadingbacktothemarshesandcavesoftheunderworld。Shewandered——shewanderedaimlessly；butnotforaninstantdidsheceasetokeepwatchfortherightdirection——thedirectionthatwouldbethebestavailableinthecircumstances。Shedidnotknoworgreatlycarewhichwayitled，solongasitdidnotleadbackwhenceshehadcome。
Inallherexcursionsshehad——notconsciouslybutbyinstinct——keptawayfromheroldbeat。Indeed，exceptinthecompanyofSpenserorSperryshehadneverventuredintotheneighborhoodofLongAcre。ButonedayshewasdeflectedbychanceattheForty-secondStreetcornerofFifthAvenueanddriftedwestward，pausingateachbookstalltostareatthetitlesofthebargainofferingsinliterature。AsshestoodatoneofthesestallsnearSixthAvenue，shebecameconsciousthattwomenwerepressingagainsther，oneoneitherside。
Shemovedbackandstartedonherway。Oneofthemenwasstandingbeforeher。Sheliftedhereyes，waslookingintothecruelsmilingeyesofamanwithabigblackmustacheandthejawsofaprizefighter。Hissmilebroadened。
“Ithoughtitwasyou，Queenie，“saidhe。“Delightedtoseeyou。”
SherecognizedhimasaflycopwhohadbeenoneofFreddiePalmer”shandymen。Shefellbackastepandtheotherman——sheknewhiminstantlyasalsoapoliceman——linedupbesidehimoftheblackmustache。Bothmenwerelaughing。
“We”vebeenonthelookoutforyoualongtime，Queenie，“saidtheother。“There”safriendofyoursthatwantstoseeyoumightybad。”
Susanglancedfromonetotheother，herfacepalebutcalm，incontrasttoherheartwherewasallthefearandhorrorofthepolicewhichlongandsavageexperiencehadbred。SheturnedawaywithoutspeakingandstartedtowardSixthAvenue。
“Now，whatd”yethinkofthat？“saidBlackMustachetohis“sidekick。”“Ithoughtshewastoomuchofaladytocutanoldfriend。Guesswe”dbetterrunherin，Pete。”
“That”sright，“assentedPete。“ThenwecankeephersafetillF。P。cangetthehooksonher。”
BlackMustachelaughed，laidhishandonherarm。“You”llcomealongquietly，“saidhe。“Youdon”twanttomakeascene。Youalwayswasaperfectlady。”
Shedrewherarmaway。“Iamamarriedwoman——livingwithmyhusband。”
BlackMustachelaughed。“Thinkofthat，Pete！Andshesolicitingus。That”llbegoodnewsforyourlovinghusband。
Comealong，Queenie。Yourrecord”sagainstyou。Everybody”llknowyou”vedroppedbacktoyouroldways。”
“Iamgoingtomyhusband，“saidshequietly。“Youhadbetternotannoyme。”
Petelookeduneasy，butBlackMustache”ssinisterfacebecamemoreresolute。“Ifyouwantedtoliverespectable，whydidyousolicitustwo？Comealong——ordoyouwantmeandPetetotakeyoubythearms？“
“Verywell，“saidshe。“I”llgo。”Sheknewthepolice，knewthatPalmer”slieutenantwouldactashesaid——andshealsoknewwhather“record“woulddotowardcarryingthroughtheplot。
Shewalkedinthedirectionofthestationhouse，thetwoplainclothesmendroppingafewfeetbehindandrejoiningheronlywhentheyreachedthestepsbetweenthetwogreenlamps。
Inthiswaytheyavoidedcollectingacrowdattheirheels。
Assheadvancedtothedesk，thesergeantyawningovertheblotterglancedup。
“Blessmysoul！“criedhe，allinterestatonce。“Ifitain”tF。P。”sQueenie！“
“Anduptoheroldtricks，sergeant，“saidBlackMustache。
“ShesolicitedmeandPete。”
Susanwaslookingthesergeantstraightintheeyes。“Iamamarriedwoman，“saidshe。“Ilivewithmyhusband。IwaslookingatsomebooksinForty-secondStreetwhenthesetwocameupandarrestedme。”
Thesergeantquailed，glancedatPetewhowasguiltilyhanginghishead——glancedatBlackMustache。Therehegotthesupporthewasseeking。“What”syourhusband”sname？“demandedBlackMustacheroughly。“What”syouraddress？“
AndRod”splaycomingonthenextnightbutone！Sheshrank，collectedherself。“Iamnotgoingtodraghimintothis，ifIcanhelpit，“saidshe。“Igiveyouachancetokeepyourselvesoutoftrouble。”Shewasgazingcalmlyatthesergeantagain。“Youknowthesemenarenottellingthetruth。Youknowthey”vebroughtmeherebecauseofFreddiePalmer。Myhusbandknowsallaboutmypast。Hewillstandbyme。ButIwishtosparehim。”
Thesergeant”suncertainmanneralarmedBlackMustache。
“She”sputtingupagood，bluff“scoffedhe。“Thetruthissheain”tgotnohusband。She”dnothavesolicitedusifshewaslivingdecent。”
“Youhearwhattheofficersays，“saidthesergeant，takingthetoneofgreatkindness。“You”llhavetogiveyournameandaddress——andI”llleaveittothejudgetodecidebetweenyouandtheofficers。”Hetookuphispen。“What”syourname？“
Susan，weakandtrembling，wasclutchingtheironrailbeforethedesk——therailwornsmoothbythenervoushandsoftenthousandofthesocialsystem”ssickorcrippledvictims。
“Come——what”syourname？“jeeredBlackMustache。
Susandidnotanswer。
“PutherdownQueenieBrown，“criedhe，triumphantly。
Thesergeantwrote。Thenhesaid：“Age？“
NoanswerfromSusan。BlackMustacheansweredforher：
“Abouttwenty-twonow。”
“Shedon”tlookit，“saidthesergeant，almostateaseoncemore。“Butbrunettesstandstheracketbetter”nblondes。
Nativeparents？“
Noanswer。
“Native。Youdon”tlookIrishorDutchorDago——thoughyoumighthaveadashoftheSpinnitchortheFrog-eaters。Everarrestedbefore？“
Noanswerfromthegirl，standingrigidatthebar。BlackMustachesaid：
“Atleastoncet，tomyknowledge。Irunherinmyself。”
“Oh，she”sgotarecord？“exclaimedthesergeant，nowwhollyatease。“Whythehelldidn”tyousayso？“
“Ithoughtyouremembered。Youtookherpedigree。”
“Idorecollectnow，“saidthesergeant。“Takemyadvice，Queenie，anddropthatbluffabouttheofficerslying。
Swallowyourmedicine——pleadguilty——andyou”llgetoffwithafine。Ifyoulieaboutthepolice，thejudge”llsoakittoyou。Ithappenstobeagoodjudge——afriendofFreddie”s。”
Thentothepolicemen：“Takeheralongtocourt，boys，andgetbackhereassoonasyoucan。”
“Iwantherlockedup，“objectedBlackMustache。“IwantF。P。
toseeher。I”vegottohuntforhim。”
“Can”tdoit，“saidthesergeant。“Ifshemakesayellaboutpoliceoppression，ourholdingontoherwouldlookbad。No，putherthrough。”
Susannowstraightenedherselfandspoke。“Ishan”tmakeanycomplaint，“saidshe。“Anythingratherthancourt。Ican”tstandthat。Keepmehere。”
“Notonyourlife！“criedthesergeant。“That”satrick。
She”dhaveagoodcaseagainstus。”
“F。P。”llraisethedevilif——”beganBlackMustache。
“Thenhunthimuprightaway。Tocourtshe”sgottogo。I
don”twanttogetbroke。”
Thetwomenfellafouleachotherwithcurseandabuse。TheywereinnowayembarrassedbythepresenceofSusan。Her“record“madeherofnoaccounteitherasawomanorasawitness。Sooneachwassowellpleasedwiththeverbalwoundshehaddealttheotherthattheirangerevaporated。TheupshotofthehideouscontroversywasthatBlackMustachesaid：
“Youtakehertocourt，Pete。I”llhuntupF。P。Keephertillthelast。”
Inafterdaysshecouldrecallstartingforthestreetcarwiththeofficer，Pete；thenmemorywasablankuntilshewassittinginastuffyroomwithaprisonodor——theanteroomtothecourt。SheandPetewerealone。Hewaswalkingnervouslyupanddownpullinghislittlefairmustache。Itmusthavebeenthatshehadretainedthroughouttheimpassivefeatureswhich，howeverstormyitwaswithin，gaveheranairofstrengthandcalm。OtherwisePetewouldnotpresentlyhavehaltedbeforehertosayinalow，agitatedvoice：
“Ifyoucanmaketroubleforus，don”tdoit。I”vegotawife，andthreebabies——onecomeonlylastweek——andmyoldmotherparalyzed。Youknowhowitiswithusfellows——thatwe”vegottodowhatthemhigherupsaysorbebroke。”
Susanmadenoreply。
“AndF。P——he”srightupnextthebigfellowsnowadays。Whathesaysgoes。Youcanseeforyourselfhowmuchchanceagainsthimthere”dbeforacommonlow-downcop。”
Shewasstillsilent，notthroughangerasheimaginedbutbecauseshehadnosenseoftherealityofwhatwashappening。
Theofficer，whohadlosthisnerve，lookedatheramoment，inhisanimaleyesahumblepleadinglook；thenhegaveagroanandturnedaway。“Oh，hell！“hemuttered。
Againhermemoryceasedtorecorduntil——thedoorswungopen；
sheshivered，thinkingitwasthesummonstocourt。Instead，therestoodFreddiePalmer。Theinstantshelookedintohisfaceshebecameascalmandstrongasherimpassiveexpressionhadbeenfalselymakingherseem。BehindhimwasBlackMustache，hisfaceghastly，sullen，cowed。Palmermadeajerkymotionofheadandarm。Petewent；andthedoorclosedandshewasalonewithhim。
“I”veseentheJudgeandyou”refree，“saidFreddie。
Shestoodandbegantoadjustherhatandveil。
“I”llhavethosefilthycurskickedofftheforce。”
Shewaslookingtranquillyathim。
“Youdon”tbelieveme？YouthinkIordereditdone？“
Sheshruggedhershoulders。“Nomatter，“shesaid。“It”sundonenow。I”mmuchobliged。It”smorethanIexpected。”
“Youdon”tbelieveme——andIdon”tblameyou。YouthinkI”mmakingsomesortofgrandstandplay。”
“Youhaven”tchanged——atleastnotmuch。”
“I”lladmit，whenyouleftIwaswildanddidtell”emtotakeyouinassoonastheyfoundyou。Butthatwasalongtimeago。AndInevermeantthemtodisturbawomanwhowaslivingrespectablywithherhusband。Theremayhavebeen——yes，therewasatimewhenI”dhavedonethat——andworse。Butnotanymore。YousayIhaven”tchanged。Well，you”rewrong。InsomewaysIhave。I”mclimbingup，asIalwaystoldyouI
would——andasamangetsupheseesthingsdifferently。Atleast，heactsdifferently。Idon”tdo_that_kindofdirtywork，anymore。”
“I”mgladtohearit，“murmuredSusanforlackofanythingelsetosay。
Hewasashandsomeasever，shesaw——hadthesamecharmofmanner——acharmowingnotalittleofitspotencytotheimpressionhemadeofthemanwhowoulddareasfarasanyman，andthengoontodareastepfarther——thestepfromwhichallbuttherare，utterlyunafraidmanshrinks。Hislookathercouldnotbutappealtohervanityaswoman，andtoherwoman”scravingforbeingloved；atthesametimeitagitatedherwithspectersofthedaysofherslaverytohim。
Hesaid：
“_You_”vechanged——alot。Andalltothegood。Theonlysignisrougeonyourlipsandthatisn”treallyasignnowadays。
Butthenyouneverdidlooktheprofessional——andyouweren”t。”
Hiseyeswereappealinglytenderashegazedathersweet，pensiveface，withitsviolet-grayeyesfullofmysteryandsorrowandlonging。Andtheclearpallorofherskin，andtheslenderyetvoluptuouslinesofherformsuggestedapale，beautifulrose，mostdelicateofflowersyetaboutthehardiest。
“So——you”vemarriedandsettleddown？“
“No，“repliedSusan。“Neithertheonenortheother。”
“Why，youtold——”
“I”msupposedtobeamarriedwoman。”
“Whydidn”tyougiveyournameandaddressatthepolicestation？“saidhe。“They”dhaveletyougoatonce。”
“Yes，Iknow，“repliedshe。“Butthenewspaperswouldprobablyhavepublishedit。So——Icouldn”t。AsitisI”vebeenworryingforfearI”dberecognized，andthemanwouldgetawrite-up。”
“Thatwassquare，“saidhe。“Yes，it”dhavebeenadirtytricktodraghimin。”
Itwasthematter-of-coursetobothofthemthatsheshouldhaveprotectedher“friend。”Shehadsimplyobeyedaboutthemoststringentandleastoftenviolatedarticleinthemoralcodeoftheworldofoutcasts。IfFreddie”sworstenemyinthatworldhadmurderedhim，Freddiewouldhaveusedhislastbreathinshieldinghimfromthecommonfoe，thelaw。
“Ifyou”renotmarriedtohim，you”refree，“saidFreddiewithasuddennewkindofinterestinher。
“ItoldyouIshouldalwaysbefree。”
Theyremainedfacingeachotheramoment。Whenshemovedtogo，hesaid：
“Iseeyou”vestillgotyourtasteindress——onlymoreso。”
Shesmiledfaintly，glancedathisclothing。Hewasdressedwithrealfashion。HelookedFifthAvenueatitsbest，andhisexpressionboreouttheappearanceofthewell-bredmanoffortune。“Icanreturnthecompliment，“saidshe。“Andyoutoohaveimproved。”
Ataglancealltheoldfearofhimhadgonebeyondthepossibilityofreturn。Forsheinstantlyrealizedthat，likeallthosewhogiveupwaruponsocietyandcomeinandsurrender，hewasenormouslyagitatedabouthisnewstatus，wasimpressedbytheconventionalitiestoadegreethatmadehimalmostweakandmildlyabsurd。Hewassaying：
“Idon”tthinkofanythingelsebutimproving——ineveryway。
AndthehigherIgetthehigherIwanttogo……ThatwasadreadfulthingIdidtoyou。Iwasn”ttoblame。Itwaspartofthesystem。Aman”sgottodoateverystagewhatever”snecessary。ButIdon”texpectyoutoappreciatethat。Iknowyou”llneverforgiveme。”
“I”musedtomendoingdreadfulthings。”
“_You_don”tdothem。”
“Oh，Iwasbroughtupbadly——badlyforthegame，Imean。ButI”mdoingbetter，andIshalldostillbetter。Ican”tabolishthesystem。Ican”tstandoutagainstit——andlive。
So，I”myielding——inmyownfoolishfashion。”
“Youdon”tlayupagainstmethe——the——youknowwhatImean？“
Thequestionsurprisedher，sofarasitarousedanyemotion。
Sheansweredindifferently：
“Idon”tlayanythingupagainstanybody。What”stheuse？I
guesswealldothebestwecan——thebestthesystem”llletus。”
Andshewasspeakingtheexacttruth。Shedidnotreasonoutthecausesofastateofmindsoalientotheexperiencesofthecomfortableclassesthattheycouldnotunderstandit，wouldthereforeseeinithardnessofheart。Infact，thehearthasnothingtodowiththisattitudeinthosewhoareexposedtothefullforceofthecruelbuffetingsofthestormsthatincessantlysweepthewildandwintryseaofactivelife。Theylosethesenseofthepersonal。Wheretheyyieldtoangerandrevengeupontheinstrumenttheblowfatehasusedittoinflict，theresentmentismomentary。Themoodofpersonalvengeanceischaracteristicofstupidpeopleleadinguneventfullives——ofcomfortableclasses，ofremoteruraldistricts。Sheagainmovedtogo，thistimeputtingoutherhandwithasmile。Hesaid，withanawkwardnessmostsignificantinonesosuppleofmindandmanner：
“Iwanttotalktoyou。I”vegotsomethingtopropose——somethingthat”llinterestyou。Willyougiveme——say，aboutanhour？“
Shedebated，thensmiled。“YouwillhavemearrestedifIrefuse？“
Heflushedscarlet。“You”regivingmewhat”scomingtome，“
saidhe。“Thereason——onereason——I”vegotonsowellisthatI”veneverbeenaliar。”
“No——youneverwerethat。”
“You，too。It”salwaysasignofbravery，andbravery”stheonethingIrespect。Yes，whatIsaidI”ddoalwaysIdid。
That”stheonlywaytogetoninpolitics——andthecrookederthepoliticsthemorecarefulamanhastobeaboutactingonthelevel。Icanborrowahundredthousanddollarswithoutsigningapaper——andthat”smorethanthecrooksinWallStreetcando——thebiggestandbestofthem。So，whenItoldyouhowthingswerewithmeaboutyou，Iwasonthelevel。”
“Iknowit，“saidSusan。“Whereshallwego？Ican”taskyoutocomehomewithme。”
“Wemightgototeasomewhere——”
Susanlaughedoutright。Tea！FreddiePalmerproposingtea！
Whatachangedhooligan——howridiculouslychanged！TheotherFreddiePalmer——therealone——thefascinatingrepellingmixtureofallthebarbaricvirtuesandvicesmuststillbethere。Buthowcarefullyhidden——andwhatstrongprovocationwouldbeneededtobringthatsavagetothesurfaceagain。
TheItalianinhim，thatwascarryinghimsofarsocleverly，enabledhiminstantlytounderstandheramusement。Heechoedherlaugh。Saidhe：
“You”venoideathekindofpeopleI”mtravelingwith——notpoliticalswells，buttherealthing。WhatdoyousaytotheBrevoort？“
Shehesitated。