Tothebeginningsofvirilecommonsenseheaddsthelastlightsofthechild”simagination；andhecanflinghimselfintobusinesswiththatsuperiorearnestnessthatproperlybelongstoplay。AndRowleywasaboymadetomyhand。Hehadahighsenseofromance，andasecretcultusforallsoldiersandcriminals。Histravellinglibraryconsistedofachap-booklifeofWallaceandsomesixpennypartsofthe”OldBaileySessionsPapers”byGurneytheshorthandwriter；andthechoicedepictshischaractertoahair。Youcanimaginehowhisnewprospectsbrightenedonaboyofthisdisposition。Tobetheservantandcompanionofafugitive，asoldier，andamurderer，rolledinone-tolivebystratagems，disguises，andfalsenames，inanatmosphereofmidnightandmysterysothickthatyoucouldcutitwithaknife-wasreally，I
believe，moredeartohimthanhismeals，thoughhewasagreattrencherman，andsomethingofagluttonbesides。Formyself，asthepegbywhichallthisromanticbusinesshung，Iwassimplyidolisedfromthatmoment；andhewouldratherhavesacrificedhishandthansurrenderedtheprivilegeofservingme。
Wearrangedthetermsofourcampaign，trudgingamicablyinthesnow，whichnow，withtheapproachofmorning，begantofalltopurpose。IchosethenameofRamornie，IimaginefromitslikenesstoRomaine；Rowley，fromanirresistibleconversionofideas，I
dubbedGammon。Hisdistresswaslaughabletowitness：hisownchoiceofanunassumingnicknamehadbeenClaudeDuval！Wesettledourprocedureatthevariousinnswhereweshouldalight，rehearsedourlittlemannerslikeapieceofdrilluntilitseemedimpossibleweshouldeverbetakenunprepared；andinallthesedispositions，youmaybesurethedespatch-boxwasnotforgotten。Whowastopickitup，whowastosetitdown，whowastoremainbesideit，whowastosleepwithit-therewasnocontingencyomitted，allwasgoneintowiththethoroughnessofadrill-sergeantontheonehandandachildwithanewplaythingontheother。”Isay，wouldn”titlookqueerifyouandmewastocometothepost-housewithallthisluggage？”saidRowley。”Idaresay”Ireplied。”Butwhatelseistobedone？””Well，now，sir-youhearme”saysRowley。”Ithinkitwouldlookmorenatural-likeifyouwastocometothepost-housealone，andwithnothinginyour”ands-morelikeagentleman，youknow。
Andyoumightsaythatyourservantandbaggagewasa-waitingforyouuptheroad。IthinkIcouldmanage，somehow，tomakeashiftwithallthemdrattedthings-leastwaysifyouwastogivemea”andupwiththematthestart。””AndIwouldseeyoufarenoughbeforeIallowedyoutotry，Mr。
Rowley！”Icried。”Why，youwouldbequitedefenceless！Afootpadthatwasaninfantchildcouldrobyou。AndIshouldprobablycomedrivingbytofindyouinaditchwithyourthroatcut。Butthereissomethinginyouridea，forallthat；andIproposeweputitinexecutionnofartherforwardthanthenextcornerofalane。”
Accordingly，insteadofcontinuingtoaimforAylesbury，weheadedbycross-roadsforsomepointtothenorthwardofit，whitherI
mightassistRowleywiththebaggage，andwhereImightleavehimtoawaitmyreturninthepost-chaise。
Itwassnowingtopurpose，thecountryallwhite，andourselveswalkingsnowdrifts，whenthefirstglimmerofthemorningshowedusaninnuponthehighwayside。Somedistanceoff，undertheshelterofacorneroftheroadandaclumpoftrees，IloadedRowleywiththewholeofourpossessions，andwatchedhimtillhestaggeredinsafetyintothedoorsoftheGREENDRAGON，whichwasthesignofthehouse。ThenceIwalkedbrisklyintoAylesbury，rejoicinginmyfreedomandthecauselessgoodspiritsthatbelongtoasnowymorning；though，tobesure，longbeforeIhadarrivedthesnowhadagainceasedtofall，andtheeavesofAylesburyweresmokinginthelevelsun。Therewasanaccumulationofgigsandchaisesintheyard，andagreatbustlegoingforwardinthecoffee-roomandaboutthedoorsoftheinn。AttheseevidencesofsomuchtravelontheroadIwasseizedwithamisgivinglestitshouldbeimpossibletogethorses，andIshouldbedetainedintheprecariousneighbourhoodofmycousin。HungryasIwas，Imademywayfirstofalltothepostmaster，wherehestood-abig，athletic，horsey-lookingman，blowingintoakeyinthecorneroftheyard。
Onmymakingmymodestrequest，heawokefromhisindifferenceintowhatseemedpassion。”Apo”-shayand”osses！”hecried。”DoIlookasifI”adapo”-
shayand”osses？Damnme，ifI”avesuchathingonthepremises。
Idon”tMAKE”ossesandchaises-I”IRE”em。YoumightbeGodAlmighty！”saidhe；andinstantly，asifhehadobservedmeforthefirsttime，hebrokeoff，andloweredhisvoiceintotheconfidential。”Why，nowthatIseeyouareagentleman”saidhe，”I”lltellyouwhat！IfyouliketoBUY，Ihavethearticletofityou。Second-”andshaybyLycett，ofLondon。Lateststyle；goodasnew。Superiorfittin”s，netontheroof，baggageplatform，pistol”olsters-themostcom-pleteandthemostgen-teelturn-outIeversee！The”oleforseventy-fivepound！It”sasgoodasgivin”heraway！””DoyouproposeIshouldtrundleitmyself，likeahawker”sbarrow？”saidI。”Why，mygoodman，ifIhadtostophere，anyway，Ishouldprefertobuyahouseandgarden！””Comeandlookather！”hecried；and，withtheword，linkshisarminmineandcarriesmetotheouthousewherethechaisewasonview。
ItwasjustthesortofchaisethatIhaddreamedofformypurpose：eminentlyrich，inconspicuous，andgenteel；for，thoughI
thoughtthepostmasternogreatauthority，Iwasboundtoagreewithhimsofar。Thebodywaspaintedadarkclaret，andthewheelsaninvisiblegreen。Thelampandglasseswerebrightassilver；andthewholeequipagehadanairofprivacyandreservethatseemedtorepelinquiryanddisarmsuspicion。WithaservantlikeRowley，andachaiselikethis，IfeltthatIcouldgofromtheLand”sEndtoJohno”Groat”sHouseamidapopulationofbowingostlers。AndIsupposeIbetrayedinmymannerthedegreeinwhichthebargaintemptedme。”Come”criedthepostmaster-”I”llmakeitseventy，toobligeafriend！””Thepointis：thehorses”saidI。”Well”saidhe，consultinghiswatch，”it”snowgonethe”alfaftereight。Whattimedoyouwantheratthedoor？””Horsesandall？”saidI。””Ossesandall！”sayshe。”Onegoodturndeservesanother。Yougivemeseventypoundfortheshay，andI”ll”ossitforyou。I
toldyouIdidn”tMAKE”osses；butICANmake”em，toobligeafriend。”
Whatwouldyouhave？Itwasnotthewisestthingintheworldtobuyachaisewithinadozenmilesofmyuncle”shouse；butinthiswayIgotmyhorsesforthenextstage。AndbyanyotheritappearedthatIshouldhavetowait。AccordinglyIpaidthemoneydown-perhapstwentypoundstoomuch，thoughitwascertainlyawell-madeandwell-appointedvehicle-ordereditroundinhalfanhour，andproceededtorefreshmyselfwithbreakfast。
ThetabletowhichIsatdownoccupiedtherecessofabay-window，andcommandedaviewofthefrontoftheinn，whereIcontinuedtobeamusedbythesuccessivedeparturesoftravellers-thefussyandtheoffhand，theniggardlyandthelavish-allexhibitingtheirdifferentcharactersinthatdiagnosticmomentofthefarewell：someescortedtothestirruporthechaisedoorbythechamberlain，thechambermaidsandthewaitersalmostinabody，othersmovingoffunderacloud，withouthumancountenance。InthecourseofthisIbecameinterestedinoneforwhomthisovationbegantoassumetheproportionsofatriumph；notonlytheunder-
servants，butthebarmaid，thelandlady，andmyfriendthepostmasterhimself，crowdingaboutthestepstospeedhisdeparture。Iwasaware，atthesametime，ofagooddealofmerriment，asthoughthetravellerwereamanofareadywit，andnottoodignifiedtoairitinthatsociety。Ileanedforwardwithalivelycuriosity；andthenextmomentIhadblottedmyselfbehindtheteapot。Thepopulartravellerhadturnedtowaveafarewell；
andbehold！hewasnootherthanmycousinAlain。Itwasachangeofthesharpestfromtheangry，pallidmanIhadseenatAmershamPlace。Ruddytoafault，illuminatedwithvintages，crownedwithhiscurlslikeBacchus，henowstoodbeforemeforaninstant，theperfectmasterofhimself，smilingwithairsofconsciouspopularityandinsufferablecondescension。Heremindedmeatonceofaroyalduke，oranactorturnedalittleelderly，andofablatantbagmanwhoshouldhavebeentheillegitimatesonofagentleman。AmomentafterhewasglidingnoiselesslyontheroadtoLondon。
Ibreathedagain。Irecognised，withheartfeltgratitude，howluckyIhadbeentogoinbythestable-yardinsteadofthehostelrydoor，andwhatafineoccasionofmeetingmycousinIhadlostbythepurchaseoftheclaret-colouredchaise！ThenextmomentIrememberedthattherewasawaiterpresent。NodoubtbuthemusthaveobservedmewhenIcrouchedbehindthebreakfastequipage；nodoubtbuthemusthavecommentedonthisunusualandundignifiedbehaviour；anditwasessentialthatIshoulddosomethingtoremovetheimpression。”Waiter！”saidI，”thatwasthenephewofCountCarwellthatjustdroveoff，wasn”tit？””Yes，sir：ViscountCarwellwecallshim”hereplied。”Ah，Ithoughtasmuch”saidI。”Well，well，damnalltheseFrenchmen，sayI！””Youmaysaysoindeed，sir”saidthewaiter。”Theyain”tnottosayinthesamefieldwithour”ome-raisedgentry。””Nastytempers？”Isuggested。”Beas”lytemper，sir，theViscount”ave”saidthewaiterwithfeeling。”Why，nolongeragonethanthismorning，hewassittingbreakfastingandreadinginhispaper。Isuppose，sir，hecomeonsomepiliticalinformation，oritmightbeabout”orses，butherapshis”anduponthetablesuddenandcallsforcuracoa。Itgavemequiteaturn，itdid；hediditthatsuddenand”ard。Now，sir，thatmaybemannersinFrance，buthallIcansayis，thatI”mnotusedtoit。””Readingthepaper，washe？”saidI。”Whatpaper，eh？””Hereitis，sir”exclaimedthewaiter。”Seemslikeasifhe”ddroppedit。”
Andpickingitoffthefloorhepresentedittome。
ImaysaythatIwasquiteprepared，thatIalreadyknewwhattoexpect；butatsightofthecoldprintmyheartstoppedbeating。
Thereitwas：thefulfilmentofRomaine”sapprehensionwasbeforeme；thepaperwaslaidopenatthecaptureofClausel。IfeltasifIcouldtakealittlecuracoamyself，butonsecondthoughtscalledforbrandy。Itwasbadlywanted；andsuddenlyIobservedthewaiter”seyetosparkle，asitwere，withsomerecognition；
madecertainhehadremarkedtheresemblancebetweenmeandAlain；
andbecameaware-asbyarevelation-ofthefool”spartIhadbeenplaying。ForIhadnowmanagedtoputmyidentificationbeyondadoubt，ifAlainshouldchoosetomakehisinquiriesatAylesbury；and，asifthatwerenotenough，Ihadadded，atanexpenseofseventypounds，acluebywhichhemightfollowmethroughthelengthandbreadthofEngland，intheshapeoftheclaret-colouredchaise！ThatelegantequipagewhichIbegantoregardaslittlebetterthanaclaret-colouredante-roomtothehangman”scartcomingpresentlytothedoor，Ileftmybreakfastinthemiddleanddeparted；postingtothenorthasdiligentlyasmycousinAlainwaspostingtothesouth，andputtingmytrustsuchasitwasinanoppositedirectionandequalspeed。
CHAPTERXXII-CHARACTERANDACQUIREMENTSOFMR。ROWLEY
IAMnotcertainthatIhadeverreallyappreciatedbeforethathourtheextremeperiloftheadventureonwhichIwasembarked。
Thesightofmycousin，thelookofhisface-sohandsome，sojovialatthefirstsight，andbrandedwithsomuchmalignityasyousawitonthesecond-withhishyperbolicalcurlsinorder，withhisneckclothtiedasiffortheconquestsoflove，settingforthasIhadnodoubtintheworldhewasdoingtoclaptheBowStreetrunnersonmytrail，andcoverEnglandwithhandbills，eachdangerousasaloadedmusket，convincedmeforthefirsttimethattheaffairwasnolessseriousthandeath。IbelieveitcametoaneartouchwhetherIshouldnotturnthehorses”headsatthenextstageandmakedirectlyforthecoast。ButIwasnowinthepositionofamanwhoshouldhavethrownhisgageintothedenoflions；or，betterstill，likeonewhoshouldhavequarrelledovernightundertheinfluenceofwine，andnow，atdaylight，inacoldwinter”smorning，andhumblysober，mustmakegoodhiswords。
ItisnotthatIthoughtanytheless，oranythelesswarmly，ofFlora。But，asIsmokedagrimsegarthatmorninginacornerofthechaise，nodoubtIconsidered，inthefirstplace，thattheletter-posthadbeeninvented，andadmittedprivatelytomyself，inthesecond，thatitwouldhavebeenhighlypossibletowriteheronapieceofpaper，sealit，andsenditskimmingbythemail，insteadofgoingpersonallyintotheseegregiousdangers，andthroughacountrythatIbeheldcrowdedwithgibbetsandBowStreetofficers。AsforSimandCandlish，Idoubtiftheycrossedmymind。
AttheGreenDragonRowleywaswaitingonthedoorstepswiththeluggage，andreallywasburstingwithunpalatableconversation。”Whodoyouthinkwe”ve”ad”ere，sir？”hebeganbreathlessly，asthechaisedroveoff。”RedBreasts”；andhenoddedhisheadportentously。”RedBreasts？”Irepeated，forIstupidlydidnotunderstandatthemomentanexpressionIhadoftenheard。”Ah！”saidhe。”Redweskits。Runners。BowStreetrunners。Twoon”em，andonewasLavenderhimself！Iheartheothersayquiteplain，“Now，Mr。Lavender，IFyou”reready。”TheywasbreakfastingasnighmeasIamtothatpostboy。They”reallright；theyain”tafterus。It”saforger；andIdidn”tsendthemoffonafalsescent-Ono！Ithoughttherewasnouseinhavingthemoverourway；soIgivethem“veryvaluableinformation，“Mr。Lavendersaid，andtippedmeatizzyformyself；andthey”reofftoLuton。Theyshowedmethe”andcuffs，too-theotheronedid-andheclickedthedrattedthingsonmywrist；andItellyou，IbelieveInearlywentoffinaswound！There”ssomethingsobeastlyinthefeelofthem！Beggingyourpardon，Mr。Anne”headded，withoneofhisdeliciouschangesfromthecharacteroftheconfidentialschoolboyintothatofthetrained，respectfulservant。
Well，Imustnotbeproud！IcannotsayIfoundthesubjectofhandcuffstomyfancy；anditwaswithmoreasperitythanwasneedfulthatIreprovedhimfortheslipaboutthename。”Yes，Mr。Ramornie”sayshe，touchinghishat。”Beggingyourpardon，Mr。Ramornie。ButI”vebeenverypiticular，sir，uptonow；andyoumaytrustmetobeverypiticularinthefuture。Itwereonlyaslip，sir。””Mygoodboy”saidI，withthemostimposingseverity，”theremustbenoslips。Besogoodastorememberthatmylifeisatstake。”
IdidnotembracetheoccasionoftellinghimhowmanyIhadmademyself。Itismyprinciplethatanofficermustneverbewrong。I
haveseentwodivisionsbeatingtheirbrainsoutforafortnightagainstaworthlessandquiteimpregnablecastleinapass：Iknewwewereonlydoingitfordiscipline，becausetheGeneralhadsaidsoatfirst，andhadnotyetfoundanywayoutofhisownwords；
andIhighlyadmiredhisforceofcharacter，andthroughouttheseoperationsthoughtmylifeexposedinaverygoodcause。Withfoolsandchildren，whichincludedRowley，thenecessitywasevengreater。Iproposedtomyselftobeinfallible；andevenwhenheexpressedsomewonderatthepurchaseoftheclaret-colouredchaise，Iputhimpromptlyinhisplace。Inoursituation，Itoldhim，everythinghadtobesacrificedtoappearances；doubtless，inahiredchaise，weshouldhavehadmorefreedom，butlookatthedignity！Iwassopositive，thatIhadsometimesalmostconvincedmyself。Notforlong，youmaybecertain！ThisdetestableconveyancealwaysappearedtometobeladenwithBowStreetofficers，andtohaveaplacarduponthebackofitpublishingmynameandcrimes。IfIhadpaidseventypoundstogetthething，I
shouldnothavestuckatsevenhundredtobesafelyridofit。
Andifthechaisewasadanger，whatananxietywasthedespatch-
boxanditsgoldencargo！Ihadneverhadacarebuttodrawmypayandspendit；Ihadlivedhappilyintheregiment，asinmyfather”shouse，fedbythegreatEmperor”scommissariatasbyubiquitousdovesofElijah-or，myfaith！ifanythingwentwrongwiththecommissariat，helpingmyselfwiththebestgraceintheworldfromthenextpeasant！AndnowIbegantofeelatthesametimetheburthenofrichesandthefearofdestitution。Thereweretenthousandpoundsinthedespatch-box，butIreckonedinFrenchmoney，andhadtwohundredandfiftythousandagonies；Ikeptitundermyhandallday，Idreamedofitatnight。Intheinns，I
wasafraidtogotodinnerandafraidtogotosleep。WhenI
walkedupahillIdurstnotleavethedoorsoftheclaret-colouredchaise。SometimesIwouldchangethedispositionofthefunds：
thereweredayswhenIcarriedasmuchasfiveorsixthousandpoundsonmyownperson，andonlytheresiduecontinuedtovoyageinthetreasure-chest-dayswhenIbulkedalloverlikemycousin，crackledtoatouchwithbankpaper，andhadmypocketsweighedtobursting-pointwithsovereigns。AndtherewereotherdayswhenI
weariedofthething-orgrewashamedofit-andputallthemoneybackwhereithadcomefrom：thereletittakeitschance，likebetterpeople！Inshort，IsetRowleyapoorexampleofconsistency，andinphilosophy，noneatall。
Littlehecared！Allwasonetohimsolongashewasamused，andIneverknewanyoneamusedmoreeasily。Hewasthrillinglyinterestedinlife，travel，andhisownmelodramaticposition。Alldayhewouldbelookingfromthechaisewindowswithebullitionsofgratifiedcuriosity，thatweresometimesjustifiedandsometimesnot，andthattakenaltogetheritoccasionallyweariedmetobeobligedtoshare。Icanlookathorses，andIcanlookattreestoo，althoughnotfondofit。ButwhyshouldIlookatalamehorse，oratreethatwasliketheletterY？WhatexhilarationcouldIfeelinviewingacottagethatwasthesamecolouras”thesecondfromthemiller”s”insomeplacewhereIhadneverbeen，andofwhichIhadnotpreviouslyheard？Iamashamedtocomplain，butthereweremomentswhenmyjuvenileandconfidentialfriendweighedheavyonmyhands。Hiscacklewasindeedalmostcontinuous，butitwasneverunamiable。Heshowedanamiablecuriositywhenhewasaskingquestions；anamiableguilelessnesswhenhewasconferringinformation。Andbothhedidlargely。IaminapositiontowritethebiographiesofMr。Rowley，Mr。Rowley”sfatherandmother，hisAuntEliza，andthemiller”sdog；andnothingbutpityforthereader，andsomemisgivingsastothelawofcopyright，prevailonmetowithholdthem。
Ageneraldesigntomouldhimselfuponmyexamplebecameearlyapparent，andIhadnotthehearttocheckit。Hebegantomimicmycarriage；heacquired，withservileaccuracy，alittlemannerI
hadofshruggingtheshoulders；andImaysayitwasbyobservingitinhimthatIfirstdiscovereditinmyself。OnedayitcameoutbychancethatIwasoftheCatholicreligion。Hebecameplungedinthought，atwhichIwasgentlyglad。Thensuddenly-”Odd-rabbitit！I”llbeCatholictoo！”hebrokeout。”Youmustteachmeit，Mr。Anne-Imean，Ramornie。”
Idissuadedhim：allegingthathewouldfindmeveryimperfectlyinformedastothegroundsanddoctrinesoftheChurch，andthat，afterall，inthematterofreligions，itwasaverypoorideatochange。”Ofcourse，myChurchisthebest”saidI；”butthatisnotthereasonwhyIbelongtoit：Ibelongtoitbecauseitwasthefaithofmyhouse。Iwishtotakemychanceswithmyownpeople，andsoshouldyou。Ifitisaquestionofgoingtohell，gotohelllikeagentlemanwithyourancestors。””Well，itwasn”tthat”headmitted。”Idon”tknowthatIwasexactlythinkingofhell。Thenthere”stheinquisition，too。
That”sratheracawker，youknow。””AndIdon”tbelieveyouwerethinkingofanythingintheworld”
saidI-whichputaperiodtohisrespectableconversion。
Heconsoledhimselfbyplayingforawhileonacheapflageolet，whichwasoneofhisdiversions，andtowhichIowedmanyintervalsofpeace。Whenhefirstproducedit，inthejoints，fromhispocket，hehadtheduplicitytoaskmeifIplayeduponit。I
answered，no；andheputtheinstrumentawaywithasighandtheremarkthathehadthoughtImight。Forsomewhileheresistedtheunspeakabletemptation，hisfingersvisiblyitchingandtwitteringabouthispocket，evenhisinterestinthelandscapeandinsporadicanecdoteentirelylost。Presentlythepipewasinhishandsagain；hefitted，unfitted，refitted，andplayeduponitindumbshowforsometime。”Iplayitmyselfalittle”sayshe。”Doyou？”saidI，andyawned。
Andthenhebrokedown。”Mr。Ramornie，ifyouplease，woulditdisturbyou，sir，ifIwastoplayachune？”hepleaded。Andfromthathour，thetootlingoftheflageoletcheeredourway。
Hewasparticularlykeenonthedetailsofbattles，singlecombats，incidentsofscoutingparties，andthelike。ThesehewouldmakehastetocapwithsomeoftheexploitsofWallace，theonlyherowithwhomhehadtheleastacquaintance。Hisenthusiasmwasgenuineandpretty。WhenhelearnedweweregoingtoScotland，”Well，then”hebrokeout，”I”llseewhereWallacelived！”Andpresentlyafter，hefelltomoralising。”It”sastrangething，sir”hebegan，”thatIseemsomehowtohavealwaysthewrongsowbytheear。I”mEnglishafterall，andIgloryinit。Myeye！
don”tI，though！LetsomeofyourFrenchiescomeoverheretoinvade，andyou”llseewhetherornot！Oh，yes，I”mEnglishtothebackbone，Iam。Andyetlookatme！Igotholdofthis”ereWilliamWallaceandtooktohimrightoff；Ineverheardofsuchamanbefore！Andthenyoucamealong，andItooktoyou。Andboththetwoofyouweremybornenemies！I-Ibegyourpardon，Mr。
Ramornie，butwouldyouminditverymuchifyoudidn”tgofortodoanythingagainstEngland”-hebroughtthewordoutsuddenly，likesomethinghot-”whenIwasalongofyou？”
IwasmoreaffectedthanIcantell。”Rowley”Isaid，”youneedhavenofear。ByhowmuchIlovemyownhonour，bysomuchIwilltakecaretoprotectyours。Wearebutfraternisingattheoutposts，assoldiersdo。Whenthebuglecalls，myboy，wemustfaceeachother，oneforEngland，oneforFrance，andmayGoddefendtheright！”
SoIspokeatthemoment；butforallmybraveairs，theboyhadwoundedmeinavitalquarter。Hiswordscontinuedtoringinmyhearing。Therewasnoremissionalldayofmyremorsefulthoughts；
andthatnightwhichwelayatLichfield，Ibelievetherewasnosleepformeinmybed。Iputoutthecandleandlaydownwithagoodresolution；andinamomentallwaslightaboutmelikeatheatre，andIsawmyselfuponthestageofitplayingignobleparts。IrememberedFranceandmyEmperor，nowdependingonthearbitramentofwar，bentdown，fightingontheirkneesandwiththeirteethagainstsomanyandsuchvariousassailants。AndI
burnedwithshametobehereinEngland，cherishinganEnglishfortune，pursuinganEnglishmistress，andnotthere，tohandleamusketinmynativefields，andtomanurethemwithmybodyifI
fell。IrememberedthatIbelongedtoFrance。Allmyfathershadfoughtforher，andsomehaddied；thevoiceinmythroat，thesightofmyeyes，thetearsthatnowsprangthere，thewholemanofme，wasfashionedofFrenchearthandbornofaFrenchmother；I
hadbeentendedandcaressedbyasuccessionofthedaughtersofFrance，thefairest，themostill-starred；andIhadfoughtandconqueredshouldertoshoulderwithhersons。Asoldier，anoble，oftheproudestandbravestraceinEurope，ithadbeenlefttotheprattleofahobbledehoylackeyinanEnglishchaisetorecallmetotheconsciousnessofduty。
WhenIsawhowitwasIdidnotlosetimeinindecision。Theoldclassicalconflictofloveandhonourbeingoncefairlybeforeme，itdidnotcostmeathought。IwasaSaint-YvesdeKeroual；andI
decidedtostrikeoffonthemorrowforWakefieldandBurchellFenn，andembark，assoonasitshouldbemorallypossible，forthesuccourofmydowntroddenfatherlandandmybeleagueredEmperor。
Pursuantonthisresolve，Ileapedfrombed，madealight，andasthewatchmanwascryinghalf-pasttwointhedarkstreetsofLichfield，satdowntopenaletteroffarewelltoFlora。Andthen-whetheritwasthesuddenchillofthenight，whetheritcamebyassociationofideasfromtheremembranceofSwanstonCottageI
knownot，butthereappearedbeforeme-tothebarkingofsheep-
dogs-acoupleofsnuffyandshamblingfigures，eachwrappedinaplaid，eacharmedwitharudestaff；andIwasimmediatelyboweddowntohaveforgottenthemsolong，andoflatetohavethoughtofthemsocavalierly。
Sureenoughtherewasmyerrand！AsaprivatepersonIwasneitherFrenchnorEnglish；Iwassomethingelsefirst：aloyalgentleman，anhonestman。SimandCandlishmustnotbelefttopaythepenaltyofmyunfortunateblow。Theyheldmyhonourtacitlypledgedtosuccourthem；anditisasortofstoicalrefinemententirelyforeigntomynaturetosetthepoliticalobligationabovethepersonalandprivate。IfFrancefellintheintervalforthelackofAnnedeSt-Yves，fallshemust！ButIwasbothsurprisedandhumiliatedtohavehadsoplainadutybounduponmeforsolong-andforsolongtohaveneglectedandforgottenit。IthinkanybravemanwillunderstandmewhenIsaythatIwenttobedandtosleepwithaconscienceverymuchrelieved，andwokeagaininthemorningwithalightheart。Theverydangeroftheenterprisereassuredme：tosaveSimandCandlishsupposetheworsttocometotheworstitwouldbenecessaryformetodeclaremyselfinacourtofjustice，withconsequenceswhichIdidnotdaretodwellupon；itcouldneverbesaidthatIhadchosenthecheapandtheeasy-onlythatinaveryperplexingcompetitionofdutiesIhadriskedmylifeforthemostimmediate。
Weresumedthejourneywithmorediligence：thenceforwardposteddayandnight；didnothaltbeyondwhatwasnecessaryformeals；
andthepostillionswereexcitedbygratuities，afterthehabitofmycousinAlain。FortwopenceIcouldhavegonefartherandtakenfourhorses；soextremewasmyhaste，runningasIwasbeforetheterrorsofanawakenedconscience。ButIfearedtobeconspicuous。
Evenasitwas，weattractedonlytoomuchattention，withourpairandthatwhiteelephant，theseventy-pounds-worthofclaret-
colouredchaise。
MeanwhileIwasashamedtolookRowleyintheface。Theyoungshaverhadcontrivedtoputmewhollyinthewrong；hehadcostmeanight”srestandasevereandhealthfulhumiliation；andIwasgratefulandembarrassedinhissociety。Thiswouldneverdo；itwascontrarytoallmyideasofdiscipline；iftheofficerhastoblushbeforetheprivate，orthemasterbeforetheservant，nothingislefttohopeforbutdischargeordeath。IhitupontheideaofteachinghimFrench；andaccordingly，fromLichfield，Ibecamethedistractedmaster，andhethescholar-howshallIsay？
indefatigable，butuninspired。Hisinterestneverflagged。Hewouldhearthesamewordtwentytimeswithprofoundrefreshment，mispronounceitinseveraldifferentways，andforgetitagainwithmagicalcelerity。SayithappenedtobeSTIRRUP。”No，Idon”tseemtorememberthatword，Mr。Anne”hewouldsay：”itdon”tseemtosticktome，thatworddon”t。”Andthen，whenIhadtoldithimagain，”ETRIER！”hewouldcry。”Tobesure！Ihaditonthetipofmytongue。ETERIER！”goingwrongalready，asifbyafatalinstinct。”WhatwillIrememberitby，now？Why，INTERIOR，tobesure！I”llrememberitbyitsbeingsomethingthatain”tintheinteriorofahorse。”AndwhennextIhadoccasiontoaskhimtheFrenchforstirrup，itwasatoss-upwhetherhehadforgottenallaboutit，orgavemeEXTERIORforananswer。Hewasneverahairdiscouraged。Heseemedtoconsiderthathewascoveringthegroundatanormalrate。Hecameupsmilingdayafterday。”Now，sir，shallwedoourFrench？”hewouldsay；andIwouldputquestions，andelicitcopiouscommentaryandexplanation，butnevertheshadowofananswer。Myhandsfelltomysides；Icouldhavewepttohearhim。WhenIreflectedthathehadasyetlearnednothing，andwhatavastdealmoretherewasforhimtolearn，theperiodoftheselessonsseemedtounrollbeforemevastaseternity，andIsawmyselfateacherofahundred，andRowleyapupilofninety，stillhammeringontherudiments！Thewretchedboy，Ishouldsay，wasquiteunspoiledbytheinevitablefamiliaritiesofthejourney。Heturnedoutateachstagethepinkofserving-lads，deft，civil，prompt，attentive，touchinghishatlikeanautomaton，raisingthestatusofMr。Ramornieintheeyesofalltheinnbyhissmilingservice，andseemingcapableofanythingintheworldbuttheonethingIhadchosen-learningFrench！
CHAPTERXXIII-THEADVENTUREOFTHERUNAWAYCOUPLE
THEcountryhadforsometimebackbeenchangingincharacter。ByathousandindicationsIcouldjudgethatIwasagaindrawingneartoScotland。Isawitwritteninthefaceofthehills，inthegrowthofthetrees，andintheglintofthewaterbrooksthatkeptthehigh-roadcompany。Itmighthaveoccurredtome，also，thatI
was，atthesametime，approachingaplaceofsomefameinBritain-GretnaGreen。Overthesesameleaguesofroad-whichRowleyandInowtraversedintheclaret-colouredchaise，tothenoteoftheflageoletandtheFrenchlesson-howmanypairsoflovershadgonebowlingnorthwardstothemusicofsixteenscamperinghorseshoes；
andhowmanyiratepersons，parents，uncles，guardians，evictedrivals，hadcometearingafter，clappingthefrequentredfacetothechaise-window，lavishlysheddingtheirgoldaboutthepost-
houses，sedulouslyloadingandre-loading，astheywent，theiravengingpistols！ButIdoubtifIhadthoughtofitatall，beforeawaysidehazardsweptmeintothethickofanadventureofthisnature；andIfoundmyselfplayingprovidencewithotherpeople”slives，tomyownadmirationatthemoment-andsubsequentlytomyownbriefbutpassionateregret。
AtratheranuglycornerofanuphillreachIcameonthewreckofachaiselyingononesideintheditch，amanandawomaninanimateddiscourseinthemiddleoftheroad，andthetwopostillions，eachwithhispairofhorses，lookingonandlaughingfromthesaddle。”Morningbreezes！here”sasmash！”criedRowley，pocketinghisflageoletinthemiddleoftheTIGHTLITTLEISLAND。
Iwasperhapsmoreconsciousofthemoralsmashthanthephysical-
morealivetobrokenheartsthantobrokenchaises；for，asplainasthesunatmorning，therewasascrewlooseinthisrunawaymatch。Itisalwaysabadsignwhenthelowerclasseslaugh：theirtasteinhumourisbothpoorandsinister；andforaman，runningthepostswithfourhorses，presumablywithopenpockets，andinthecompanyofthemostentrancinglittlecreatureconceivable，tohavecomedownsofarastobelaughedatbyhisownpostillions，wasonlytobeexplainedonthedoublehypothesis，thathewasafoolandnogentleman。
Ihavesaidtheyweremanandwoman。Ishouldhavesaidmanandchild。Shewascertainlynotmorethanseventeen，prettyasanangel，justplumpenoughtodamnasaint，anddressedinvariousshadesofblue，fromherstockingstohersaucycap，inakindoftakinggamut，thetopnoteofwhichsheflungmeinabeamfromhertooappreciativeeye。Therewasnodoubtaboutthecase：Isawitall。Fromaboarding-school，ablack-board，apiano，andClementi”sSONATINAS，thechildhadmadearashadventureuponlifeinthecompanyofahalf-bredhawbuck；andshewasalreadynotonlyregrettingit，butexpressingherregretwithpointandpungency。
AsIalightedtheybothpausedwiththatunmistakableairofbeinginterruptedinascene。Iuncoveredtotheladyandplacedmyservicesattheirdisposal。
Itwasthemanwhoanswered。”There”snouseinshamming，sir”
saidhe。”ThisladyandIhaverunaway，andherfather”safterus：roadtoGretna，sir。Andherehavethesenincompoopsspiltusintheditchandsmashedthechaise！””Veryprovoking”saidI。”Idon”tknowwhenI”vebeensoprovoked！”criedhe，withaglancedowntheroad，ofmortalterror。”Thefatherisnodoubtverymuchincensed？”Ipursuedcivilly。”OGod！”criedthehawbuck。”Inshort，yousee，wemustgetoutofthis。AndI”lltellyouwhat-itmayseemcool，butnecessityhasnolaw-ifyouwouldlendusyourchaisetothenextpost-house，itwouldbetheverything，sir。””Iconfessitseemscool”Ireplied。”What”sthatyousay，sir？”hesnapped。”Iwasagreeingwithyou”saidI。”Yes，itdoesseemcool；andwhatismoretothepoint，itseemsunnecessary。Thisthingcanbearrangedinamoresatisfactorymannerotherwise，Ithink。Youcandoubtlessride？”
Thisopenedadooronthematteroftheirpreviousdispute，andthefellowappearedlife-sizedinhistruecolours。”That”swhatI”vebeentellingher：that，damnher！shemustride！”hebrokeout。”Andifthegentleman”softhesamemind，why，damme，youshall！”
Ashesaidso，hemadeasnatchatherwrist，whichsheevadedwithhorror。
Isteppedbetweenthem。”No，sir”saidI；”theladyshallnot。”
Heturnedonmeraging。”Andwhoareyoutointerfere？”heroared。”ThereisherenoquestionofwhoIam”Ireplied。”ImaybethedevilortheArchbishopofCanterburyforwhatyouknow，orneedknow。ThepointisthatIcanhelpyou-itappearsthatnobodyelsecan；andIwilltellyouhowIproposetodoit。Iwillgivetheladyaseatinmychaise，ifyouwillreturnthecomplimentbyallowingmyservanttorideoneofyourhorses。”
Ithoughthewouldhavesprungatmythroat。”Youhavealwaysthealternativebeforeyou：towaithereforthearrivalofpapa”Iadded。
Andthatsettledhim。Hecastanotherhaggardlookdowntheroad，andcapitulated。”Iamsure，sir，theladyisverymuchobligedtoyou”hesaid，withanillgrace。
Igavehermyhand；shemountedlikeabirdintothechaise；
Rowley，grinningfromeartoear，closedthedoorbehindus；thetwoimpudentrascalsofpost-boyscheeredandlaughedaloudaswedroveoff；andmyownpostillionurgedhishorsesatonceintoarattlingtrot。ItwasplainIwassupposedbyalltohavedoneaverydashingact，andravishedthebridefromtheravisher。
InthemeantimeIstolealookatthelittlelady。Shewasinastateofpitiablediscomposure，andherarmsshookonherlapinherblacklacemittens。”Madam-”Ibegan。
Andshe，inthesamemoment，findinghervoice：”O，whatyoumustthinkofme！””Madam”saidI，”whatmustanygentlemanthinkwhenheseesyouth，beautyandinnocenceindistress？IwishIcouldtellyouthatI
wasoldenoughtobeyourfather；Ithinkwemustgivethatup”I
continued，withasmile。”ButIwilltellyousomethingaboutmyselfwhichoughttodoaswell，andtosetthatlittleheartatrestinmysociety。Iamalover。MayIsayitofmyself-forI
amnotquiteusedtoallthenicetiesofEnglish-thatIamatruelover？ThereisonewhomIadmire，adore，obey；sheisnolessgoodthansheisbeautiful；ifshewerehere，shewouldtakeyoutoherarms：conceivethatshehassentme-thatshehassaidtome，“Go，beherknight！“””O，Iknowshemustbesweet，Iknowshemustbeworthyofyou！”
criedthelittlelady。”Shewouldneverforgetfemaledecorum-
normaketheterribleERRATUMI”vedone！”
Andatthisshelifteduphervoiceandwept。
Thisdidnotforwardmatters：itwasinvainthatIbeggedhertobemorecomposedandtotellmeaplain，consecutivetaleofhermisadventures；butshecontinuedinsteadtopourforththemostextraordinarymixtureofthecorrectschoolmissandthepooruntutoredlittlepieceofwomanhoodinafalseposition-ofengraftedpedantryandincoherentnature。”Iamcertainitmusthavebeenjudicialblindness”shesobbed。”Ican”tthinkhowIdidn”tseeit，butIdidn”t；andheisn”t，ishe？Andthenacurtainrose……O，whatamomentwasthat！ButIknewatoncethatYOUWERE；youhadbuttoappearfromyourcarriage，andIknewit，O，shemustbeafortunateyounglady！
AndIhavenofearwithyou，none-aperfectconfidence。””Madam”saidI，”agentleman。””That”swhatImean-agentleman”sheexclaimed。”Andhe-andthat-HEisn”t。O，howshallIdaremeetfather！”Anddisclosingtomehertear-stainedface，andopeningherarmswithatragicgesture：”AndIamquitedisgracedbeforealltheyoungladies，myschool-companions！”sheadded。”O，notsobadasthat！”Icried。”Come，come，youexaggerate，mydearMiss-？ExcusemeifIamtoofamiliar：Ihavenotyetheardyourname。””MynameisDorothyGreensleeves，sir：whyshouldIconcealit？I
fearitwillonlyservetopointanadagetofuturegenerations，andIhadmeantsodifferently！TherewasnoyoungfemaleinthecountymoreemuloustobethoughtwellofthanI。Andwhatafallwasthere！O，dearme，whatawicked，piggishdonkeyofagirlI
havemadeofmyself，tobesure！Andthereisnohope！O，Mr-”
Andatthatshepausedandaskedmyname。
IamnotwritingmyeulogiumfortheAcademy；Iwilladmititwasunpardonablyimbecile，butItoldither。Ifyouhadbeenthere-
andseenher，ravishinglyprettyandlittle，ababyinyearsandmind-andheardhertalkinglikeabook，withsomuchofschoolroomproprietyinhermanner，withsuchaninnocentdespairinthematter-youwouldprobablyhavetoldheryours。Sherepeateditafterme。”Ishallprayforyouallmylife”shesaid。”Everynight，whenI
retiretorest，thelastthingIshalldoistorememberyoubyname。”
PresentlyIsucceededinwinningfromherhertale，whichwasmuchwhatIhadanticipated：ataleofaschoolhouse，awalledgarden，afruit-treethatconcealedabench，animpudentraffposturinginchurch，anexchangeofflowersandvowsoverthegardenwall，asillyschoolmateforaconfidante，achaiseandfour，andthemostimmediateandperfectdisenchantmentonthepartofthelittlelady。”Andthereisnothingtobedone！”shewailedinconclusion。”Myerrorisirretrievable，Iamquiteforcedtothatconclusion。
O，MonsieurdeSaint-Yves！whowouldhavethoughtthatIcouldhavebeensuchablind，wickeddonkey！”
Ishouldhavesaidbefore-onlythatIreallydonotknowwhenitcamein-thatwehadbeenovertakenbythetwopost-boys，RowleyandMr。Bellamy，whichwasthehawbuck”sname，bestridingthefourpost-horses；andthattheseformedasortofcavalryescort，ridingnowbefore，nowbehindthechaise，andBellamyoccasionallyposturingatthewindowandobliginguswithsomeofhisconversation。Hewassoill-receivedthatIdeclareIwastemptedtopityhim，rememberingfromwhataheighthehadfallen，andhowfewhoursagoitwassincetheladyhadherselffledtohisarms，allblushesandardour。Well，thesegreatstrokesoffortuneusuallybefalltheunworthy，andBellamywasnowthelegitimateobjectofmycommiserationandtheridiculeofhisownpost-boys！”MissDorothy”saidI，”youwishtobedeliveredfromthisman？””O，ifitwerepossible！”shecried。”Butnotbyviolence。””Notintheleast，ma”am”Ireplied。”Thesimplestthinginlife。
Weareinacivilisedcountry；theman”samalefactor-””O，never！”shecried。”Donotevendreamit！Withallhisfaults，IknowheisnotTHAT。””Anyway，he”sinthewronginthisaffair-onthewrongsideofthelaw，callitwhatyouplease”saidI；andwiththat，ourfourhorsemenhavingforthemomentheadedusbyaconsiderableinterval，Ihailedmypost-boyandinquiredwhowasthenearestmagistrateandwherehelived。ArchdeaconClitheroe，hetoldme，aprodigiousdignitary，andonewholivedbutalaneortwoback，andatthedistanceofonlyamileortwooutofthedirectroad。I
showedhimtheking”smedallion。”Taketheladythere，andatfullgallop”Icried。”Right，sir！Mindyourself”saysthepostillion。
AndbeforeIcouldhavethoughtitpossible，hehadturnedthecarriagetotherightaboutandweweregallopingsouth。
Ouroutriderswerequicktoremarkandimitatethemanoeuvre，andcameflyingafteruswithavastdealofindiscriminateshouting；
sothatthefine，soberpictureofacarriageandescort，thatwehadpresentedbutamomentback，wastransformedinthetwinklingofaneyeintotheimageofanoisyfox-chase。Thetwopostillionsandmyownsaucyroguewere，ofcourse，disinterestedactorsinthecomedy；theyrodeforthemeresport，keepinginabody，theirmouthsfulloflaughter，wavingtheirhatsastheycameon，andcryingasthefancystruckthemTally-ho！””Stop，thief！””A
highwayman！Ahighwayman！”ItwasotherguessworkwithBellamy。
Thatgentlemannosoonerobservedourchangeofdirectionthanheturnedhishorsewithsomuchviolencethatthepooranimalwasalmostcastuponitsside，andlaunchedherinimmediateanddesperatepursuit。AsheapproachedIsawthathisfacewasdeadlywhiteandthathecarriedadrawnpistolinhishand。Iturnedatoncetothepoorlittlebridethatwastohavebeen，andnowwasnottobe；she，uponherside，desertingtheotherwindow，turnedasiftomeetme。”O，O，don”tlethimkillme！”shescreamed。”Neverfear”Ireplied。
Herfacewasdistortedwithterror。Herhandstookholduponmewiththeinstinctiveclutchofaninfant。Thechaisegaveaflyinglurch，whichtookthefeetfromundermeandtumbledusanyhowupontheseat。AndalmostinthesamemomenttheheadofBellamyappearedinthewindowwhichMissyhadleftfreeforhim。
Conceivethesituation！ThelittleladyandIwerefalling-orhadjustfallen-backwardontheseat，andofferedtotheeyeasomewhatambiguouspicture。Thechaisewasspeedingatafuriouspace，andwiththemostviolentleapsandlurches，alongthehighway。IntothisboundingreceptacleBellamyinterjectedhishead，hispistolarm，andhispistol；andsincehisownhorsewastravellingstillfasterthanthechaise，hemustwithdrawallofthemagainintheinsideofthefractionofaminute。Hedidso，butheleftthechargeofthepistolbehindhim-whetherbydesignoraccidentIshallneverknow，andIdaresayhehasforgotten！
Probablyhehadonlymeanttothreaten，inhopesofcausingustoarrestourflight。InthesamemomentcametheexplosionandapitifulcryfromMissy；andmygentleman，makingcertainhehadstruckher，wentdowntheroadpursuedbythefuries，turnedatthefirstcorner，tookaflyingleapoverthethornhedge，anddisappearedacrosscountryintheleastpossibletime。
Rowleywasreadyandeagertopursue；butIwithheldhim，thinkingwewereexcellentlyquitofMr。Bellamy，atnomorecostthanascratchontheforearmandabullet-holeintheleft-handclaret-
colouredpanel。Andaccordingly，butnowatamoredecentpace，weproceededonourwaytoArchdeaconClitheroe”s，Missy”sgratitudeandadmirationwerearousedtoahighpitchbythisdramaticscene，andwhatshewaspleasedtocallmywound。Shemustdressitformewithherhandkerchief，aservicewhichsherenderedmeevenwithtears。Icouldwellhavesparedthem，notlovingonthewholetobemaderidiculous，andtheinjurybeinginthenatureofacat”sscratch。Indeed，Iwouldhavesuggestedforherkindcareratherthecureofmycoat-sleeve，whichhadsufferedworseintheencounter；butIwastoowisetorisktheanti-climax。Thatshehadbeenrescuedbyahero，thattheheroshouldhavebeenwoundedintheaffray，andhiswoundbandagedwithherhandkerchiefwhichitcouldnotevenbloody，ministeredincrediblytotherecoveryofherself-respect；andIcouldhearherrelatetheincidentto”theyoungladies，myschool-companions”inthemostapprovedmannerofMrs。Radcliffe！Tohaveinsistedonthetorncoat-sleevewouldhavebeenunmannerly，ifnotinhuman。
Presentlytheresidenceofthearchdeaconbegantoheaveinsight。
Achaiseandfoursmokinghorsesstoodbythesteps，andmadewayforusonourapproach；andevenaswealightedthereappearedfromtheinteriorofthehouseatallecclesiastic，andbesidehimalittle，headstrong，ruddyman，inatoweringpassion，andbrandishingoverhisheadarollofpaper。AtsightofhimMissDorothyflungherselfonherkneeswiththemostmovingadjurations，callinghimfather，assuringhimshewaswhollycuredandentirelyrepentantofherdisobedience，andentreatingforgiveness；andIsoonsawthatsheneedfearnogreatseverityfromMr。Greensleeves，whoshowedhimselfextraordinarilyfond，loud，greedyofcaressesandprodigaloftears。
Togivemyselfacountenance，aswellastohaveallreadyfortheroadwhenIshouldfindoccasion，IturnedtoquitscoreswithBellamy”stwopostillions。Theyhadnottheleastclaimonme，butoneofwhichtheywerequiteignorant-thatIwasafugitive。Itistheworstfeatureofthatfalsepositionthateverygratuitybecomesacaseofconscience。Youmustnotleavebehindyouanyonediscontentednoranyonegrateful。Butthewholebusinesshadbeensucha”hurrah-boys”fromthebeginning，andhadgoneoffinthefifthactsolikeamelodrama，inexplosions，reconciliations，andtherapeofapost-horse，thatitwasplainlyimpossibletokeepitcovered。Itwasplainitwouldhavetobetalkedoverinalltheinn-kitchensforthirtymilesabout，andlikelyforsixmonthstocome。Itonlyremainedforme，therefore，tosettleonthatgratuitywhichshouldbeleastconspicuous-solargethatnobodycouldgrumble，sosmallthatnobodywouldbetemptedtoboast。Mydecisionwashastilyandnorwiselytaken。Theonefellowspatonhistipsohecalleditforluck；theotherdevelopingasuddenstreakofpiety，prayedGodblessmewithfervour。Itseemedademonstrationwasbrewing，andIdeterminedtobeoffatonce。Biddingmyownpost-boyandRowleybeinreadinessforanimmediatestart，Ireascendedtheterraceandpresentedmyself，hatinhand，beforeMr。Greensleevesandthearchdeacon。”Youwillexcuseme，Itrust”saidI。”Ithinkshametointerruptthisagreeablesceneoffamilyeffusion，whichIhavebeenprivilegedinsomesmalldegreetobringabout。”
Andatthesewordsthestormbroke。”Smalldegree！smalldegree，sir！”criesthefather；”thatshallnotpass，Mr。St。Eaves！IfI”vegotmydarlingback，andnonetheworseforthatvagabonerascal，IknowwhomIhavetothank。Shakehandswithme-uptotheelbows，sir！AFrenchmanyoumaybe，butyou”reoneoftherightbreed，byGod！And，byGod，sir，youmayhaveanythingyoucaretoaskofme，downtoDolly”shand，byGod！”
Allthisheroaredoutinavoicesurprisinglypowerfulfromsosmallaperson。Everywordwasthusaudibletotheservants，whohadfollowedthemoutofthehouseandnowcongregatedaboutusontheterrace，aswellastoRowleyandthefivepostillionsonthegravelsweepbelow。Thesentimentsexpressedwerepopular；someass，whomthedevilmovedtobemyenemy，proposedthreecheers，andtheyweregivenwithawill。TohearmyownnameresoundingamidacclamationsinthehillsofWestmorlandwasflattering，perhaps；butitwasinconvenientatamomentwhenasIwasmorallypersuadedpolicehandbillswerealreadyspeedingaftermeattherateofahundredmilesaday。
Norwasthattheendofit。Thearchdeaconmustpresenthiscompliments，andpresseduponmesomeofhisWestIndiasherry，andIwascarriedintoavastlyfinelibrary，whereIwaspresentedtohisladywife。Whilewewereatsherryinthelibrary，alewashandedroundupontheterrace。Speechesweremade，handswereshaken，Missyatherfather”srequestkissedmefarewell，andthewholepartyreaccompaniedmetotheterrace，wheretheystoodwavinghatsandhandkerchiefs，andcryingfarewellstoalltheechoesofthemountainsuntilthechaisehaddisappeared。
Theechoesofthemountainswereengagedinsayingtomeprivately：”Youfool，youhavedoneitnow！””Theydoseemtohavegot”oldofyourname，Mr。Anne”saidRowley。”Itweren”tmyfaultthistime。””Itwasoneofthoseaccidentsthatcanneverbeforeseen”saidI，affectingadignitythatIwasfarfromfeeling。”Someonerecognisedme。””Whichon”em，Mr。Anne？”saidtherascal。”Thatisasenselessquestion；itcanmakenodifferencewhoitwas”Ireturned。”No，northatitcan”t！”criedRowley。”Isay，Mr。Anne，sir，it”swhatyouwouldcallajollymess，ain”tit？lookslike“cleanbowled-outinthemiddlestump，“don”tit？””Ifailtounderstandyou，Rowley。””Well，whatImeanis，whatarewetodoaboutthisone？”pointingtothepostillioninfrontofus，ashealternatelyhidandrevealedhispatchedbreechestothetrotofhishorse。”HeseeyougetinthismorningunderMr。RAMORNIE-IwasverypiticulartoMR。RAMORNIEyou，ifyouremember，sir-andheseeyougetinagainunderMr。SaintEaves，andwhatever”shegoingtoseeyougetoutunder？that”swhatworriesme，sir。Itdon”tseemtomelikeasifthepositionwaswhatyoucallSTRATETEGIC！””PARRRBLEU！willyouletmebe！”Icried。”Ihavetothink；youcannotimaginehowyourconstantidioticprattleannoysme。””Begpardon，Mr。Anne”saidhe；andthenextmoment，”Youwouldn”tlikeforustodoourFrenchnow，wouldyou，Mr。Anne？””Certainlynot”saidI。”Playuponyourflageolet。”
Thewhichhedidwithwhatseemedtometobeirony。
Consciencedothmakecowardsofusall！Iwassodowncastbymypitifulmismanagementofthemorning”sbusinessthatIshrankfromtheeyeofmyownhiredinfant，andreadoffensivemeaningsintohisidletootling。
Itookoffmycoat，andsettomendingit，soldier-fashion，withaneedleandthread。Thereisnothingmoreconducivetothought，aboveallinarduouscircumstances；andasIsewed，Igraduallygainedaclearnessuponmyaffairs。Imustbedonewiththeclaret-colouredchaiseatonce。Itshouldbesoldatthenextstageforwhatitwouldbring。RowleyandImusttakebacktotheroadonourfourfeet，andafteradecentintervaloftrudging，getplacesonsomecoachforEdinburghagainundernewnames！Somuchtroubleandtoil，somuchextrariskandexpenseandlossoftime，andallforaslipofthetonguetoalittleladyinblue！
CHAPTERXXIV-THEINN-KEEPEROFKIRKBY-LONSDALE
IHADhithertoconceivedandpartlycarriedoutanidealthatwasdeartomyheart。RowleyandIdescendedfromourclaret-colouredchaise，acoupleofcorrectlydressed，brisk，bright-eyedyoungfellows，likeapairofaristocraticmice；attendingsinglytoourownaffairs，communicatingsolelywitheachother，andthatwiththenicetiesandcivilitiesofdrill。Wewouldpassthroughthelittlecrowdbeforethedoorwithhigh-bredpreoccupation，inoffensivelyhaughty，afterthebestEnglishpattern；anddisappearwithin，followedbytheenvyandadmirationofthebystanders，amodelmasterandservant，point-deviceineverypart。
Itwasaheavythoughttome，aswedrewupbeforetheinnatKirkby-Lonsdale，thatthisscenewasnowtobeenactedforthelasttime。Alas！andhadIknownit，itwastogoofwithsoinferioragrace！
Ihadbeeninjudiciouslyliberaltothepost-boysofthechaiseandfour。Myownpost-boy，heofthepatchedbreeches，nowstoodbeforeme，hiseyesglitteringwithgreed，hishandadvanced。ItwasplainheanticipatedsomethingextraordinarybywayofaPOURBOIRE；andconsideringthemarchesandcounter-marchesbywhichIhadextendedthestage，themilitarycharacterofouraffairswithMr。Bellamy，andthebadexampleIhadsetbeforehimatthearchdeacon”s，somethingexceptionalwascertainlytobedone。Butthesearealwaysnicequestions，toaforeigneraboveall：ashadetoolittlewillsuggestniggardliness，ashillingtoomuchsmellsofhush-money。Freshfromthesceneatthearchdeacon”s，andflushedbytheideathatIwasnownearlydonewiththeresponsibilitiesoftheclaret-colouredchaise，Iputintohishandsfiveguineas；andtheamountservedonlytowakenhiscupidity。”O，come，sir，youain”tgoingtofobmeofwiththis？Why，Iseenfireatyourside！”hecried。
Itwouldneverdotogivehimmore；IfeltIshouldbecomethefableofKirkby-LonsdaleifIdid；andIlookedhimintheface，sternlybutstillsmiling，andaddressedhimwithavoiceofuncompromisingfirmness。”Ifyoudonotlikeit，giveitback”saidI。
Hepocketedtheguineaswiththequicknessofaconjurer，and，likeabase-borncockneyashewas，fellinstantlytocastingdirt。””Aveyourownwayofit，Mr。Ramornie-leastwaysMr。St。Eaves，orwhateveryourblessednamemaybe。Look”ere”-turningforsympathytothestable-boys-”thisisablessedbusiness。Blessed”ard，Icallsit。”EreItakesupablessedsonofapop-gunwhatcallshisselfanythingyoucaretomention，andturnsouttobeablessedMOUNSEERattheendofit！”Ere”aveIbeendrivin”ofhimupanddownallday，a-carryingoffofgals，a-shootin”ofpistyils，anda-drinkin”ofsherryandhale；andwotdoesheupandgivemebutablank，blank，blanketingblank！”
Thefellow”slanguagehadbecometoopowerfulforreproduction，andIpasseditby。
MeanwhileIobservedRowleyfrettingvisiblyatthebit；anothermoment，andhewouldhaveaddedalasttouchoftheridiculoustoourarrivalbycomingtohishandswiththepostillion。”Rowley！”criedIreprovingly。
StrictlyitshouldhavebeenGammon；butinthehurryofthemoment，myfaultIcanonlyhopepassedunperceived。AtthesametimeIcaughttheeyeofthepostmaster。Hewaslongandlean，andbrownandbilious；hehadthedroopingnoseofthehumourist，andthequickattentionofamanofparts。Hereadmyembarrassmentinaglance，steppedinstantlyforward，sentthepost-boytotherightaboutwithhalfaword，andwasbacknextmomentatmyside。”Dinnerinaprivateroom，sir？Verywell。John，No。4！Whatwinewouldyoucaretomention？Verywell，sir。Willyoupleasetoorderfreshhorses？Not，sir？Verywell。”
Eachoftheseexpressionswasaccompaniedbysomethinginthenatureofabow，andallwereprefacedbysomethinginthenatureofasmile，whichIcouldverywellhavedonewithout。Theman”spolitenesswasfromtheteethoutwards；behindandwithin，Iwasconsciousofaperpetualscrutiny：thesceneathisdoorstep，therandomconfidencesofthepost-boy，hadnotbeenthrownawayonthisobserver；anditwasunderastrongfearofcomingtroublethatIwasshownatlastintomyprivateroom。Iwasinhalfamindtohaveputoffthewholebusiness。Butthetruthis，nowmynamehadgotabroad，myfearofthemailthatwascoming，andthehandbillsitshouldcontain，hadwaxedinordinately，andIfeltI
couldnevereatamealinpeacetillIhadseveredmyconnectionwiththeclaret-colouredchaise。
Accordingly，assoonasIhaddonewithdinner，Isentmycomplimentstothelandlordandrequestedheshouldtakeaglassofwinewithme。Hecame；weexchangedthenecessarycivilities，andpresentlyIapproachedmybusiness。”Bythebye”saidI，”wehadabrushdowntheroadto-day。Idaresayyoumayhaveheardofit？”
Henodded。”AndIwassounluckyastogetapistolballinthepanelofmychaise”Icontinued，”whichmakesitsimplyuselesstome。Doyouknowanyonelikelytobuy？””Icanwellunderstandthat”saidthelandlord，”Iwaslookingatitjustnow；it”sasgoodasruined，isthatchaise。Generalrule，peopledon”tlikechaiseswithbullet-holes。””ToomuchROMANCEOFTHEFOREST？”Isuggested，recallingmylittlefriendofthemorning，andwhatIwassurehadbeenherfavouritereading-Mrs。Radcliffe”snovels。”Justso”saidhe。”Theymayberight，theymaybewrong；I”mnotthejudge。ButIsupposeit”snatural，afterall，forrespectablepeopletolikethingsrespectableaboutthem；notbullet-holes，norpuddlesofblood，normenwithaliases。”
Itookaglassofwineandheldituptothelighttoshowthatmyhandwassteady。”Yes”saidI，”Isupposeso。””Youhavepapers，ofcourse，showingyouaretheproperowner？”heinquired。”Thereisthebill，stampedandreceipted”saidI，tossingitacrosstohim。
Helookedatit。”Thisallyouhave？”heasked。”Itisenough，atleast”saidI。”ItshowsyouwhereIboughtandwhatIpaidforit。””Well，Idon”tknow”hesaid。”Youwantsomepaperofidentification。””Toidentifythechaise？”Iinquired。”Notatall：toidentifyYOU”saidhe。”Mygoodsir，rememberyourself！”saidI。”Thetitle-deedsofmyestateareinthatdespatch-box；butyoudonotseriouslysupposethatIshouldallowyoutoexaminethem？””Well，yousee，thispaperprovesthatsomeMr。Ramorniepaidseventyguineasforachaise”saidthefellow。”That”sallwellandgood；butwho”stoprovetomethatyouareMr。Ramornie？””Fellow！”criedI。”O，fellowasmuchasyouplease！”saidhe。”Fellow，withallmyheart！Thatchangesnothing。Iamfellow，ofcourse-obtrusivefellow，impudentfellow，ifyoulike-butwhoareyou？Ihearofyouwithtwonames；Ihearofyourunningawaywithyoungladies，andgettingcheeredforaFrenchman，whichseemsodd；andonethingIwillgobailfor，thatyouwereinabluefrightwhenthepost-
boybegantotelltalesatmydoor。Inshort，sir，youmaybeaverygoodgentleman；butIdon”tknowenoughaboutyou，andI”lltroubleyouforyourpapers，ortogobeforeamagistrate。Takeyourchoice；ifI”mnotfineenough，Ihopethemagistratesare。””Mygoodman”Istammered，forthoughIhadfoundmyvoice，I
couldscarcebesaidtohaverecoveredmywits，”thisismostunusual，mostrude。IsitthecustominWestmorlandthatgentlemenshouldbeinsulted？””Thatdepends”saidhe。”Whenit”ssuspectedthatgentlemenarespiesitISthecustom；andagoodcustom，too。Nono”hebrokeout，perceivingmetomakeamovement。”Bothhandsuponthetable，mygentleman！Iwantnopistolballsinmychaisepanels。””Surely，sir，youdomestrangeinjustice！”saidI，nowthemasterofmyself。”Youseemesittinghere，amonumentoftranquillity：
praymayIhelpmyselftowinewithoutumbragingyou？”
Itookthisattitudeinsheerdespair。Ihadnoplan，nohope。
ThebestIcouldimaginewastospinthebusinessoutsomeminuteslonger，thencapitulate。Atleast，Iwouldnotcapituatleonemomenttoosoon。”AmItotakethatforNO？”heasked。”Referringtoyourformerobligingproposal？”saidI。”Mygoodsir，youaretotakeit，asyousay，for“No。”CertainlyIwillnotshowyoumydeeds；certainlyIwillnotrisefromtableandtrundleouttoseeyourmagistrates。Ihavetoomuchrespectformydigestion，andtoolittlecuriosityinjusticesofthepeace。”
Heleanedforward，lookedmenearlyintheface，andreachedoutonehandtothebell-rope。”Seehere，myfinefellow！”saidhe。”Doyouseethatbell-rope？Letmetellyou，there”saboywaitingbelow：onejingle，andhegoestofetchtheconstable。””Doyoutellmeso？”saidI。”Well，there”snoaccountingfortastes！Ihaveaprejudiceagainstthesocietyofconstables，butifitisyourfancytohaveoneinforthedessert-”Ishruggedmyshoulderslightly。”Really，youknow”Iadded，”thisisvastlyentertaining。Iassureyou，Iamlookingon，withalltheinterestofamanoftheworld，atthedevelopmentofyourhighlyoriginalcharacter。”
Hecontinuedtostudymyfacewithoutspeech，hishandstillonthebuttonofthebell-rope，hiseyesinmine；thiswasthedecisiveheat。Myfaceseemedtomyselftodislimnunderhisgaze，myexpressiontochange，thesmilewithwhichIhadbegantodegenerateintothegrinofthemanupontherack。Iwasbesidesharassedwithdoubts。Aninnocentman，Iargued，wouldhaveresentedthefellow”simpudenceanhourago；andbymycontinuedenduranceoftheordeal，Iwassimplysigningandsealingmyconfession；inshort，Ihadreachedtheendofmypowers。”Haveyouanyobjectiontomyputtingmyhandsinmybreechespockets？”Iinquired。”Excusemementioningit，butyoushowedyourselfsoextremelynervousamomentback。”MyvoicewasnotallIcouldhavewished，butitsufficed。Icouldhearittremble，butthelandlordapparentlycouldnot。Heturnedawayanddrewalongbreath，andyoumaybesureIwasquicktofollowhisexample。”You”reacoolhandatleast，andthat”sthesortIlike”saidhe。”Beyouwhatyouplease，I”lldealsquare。I”lltakethechaiseforahundredpounddown，andthrowthedinnerin。””Ibegyourpardon”Icried，whollymystifiedbythisformofwords。”Youpaymeahundreddown”herepeated，”andI”lltakethechaise。It”sverylittlemorethanitcost”headded，withagrin，”andyouknowyoumustgetitoffyourhandssomehow。”
IdonotknowwhenIhavebeenbetterentertainedthanbythisimpudentproposal。Itwasbroadlyfunny，andIsupposetheleasttemptingofferintheworld。Forallthat，itcameverywelcome，foritgavemetheoccasiontolaugh。ThisIdidwiththemostcompleteabandonment，tillthetearsrandownmycheeks；andeverandagain，asthefitabated，Iwouldgetanotherviewofthelandlord”sface，andgooffintoanotherparoxysm。”Youdrollcreature，youwillbethedeathofmeyet！”Icried，dryingmyeyes。
Myfriendwasnowwhollydisconcerted；heknewnotwheretolook，noryetwhattosay；andbeganforthefirsttimetoconceiveitpossiblehewasmistaken。”Youseemrathertoenjoyalaugh，sir”saidhe。”O，yes！Iamquiteanoriginal”Ireplied，andlaughedagain。