ButI——’’
``Behonest，’’interruptedhe。``Haven’tImadeitplainthatIwasfascinatedbyyou？’’
Shecouldnotdenyit。
``Haven’tIbeenshowingyouthatIwaswillingtodoeverythingIcouldforyou？’’
``Ithoughtyouwereconcernedonlyaboutthesuccessofthepiece。’’
``Thepiecebejiggered，’’saidhe。``Youdon’timagineYOUarenecessarytoitssuccess，doyou？You，araw，untrainedgirl。Don’tyourgoodsensetellyouIcouldfindadozenwhowoulddo，letussay，ALMOST
aswell？’’
``Iunderstandthat，’’murmuredshe。
``Perhapsyoudo，butIdoubtit，’’rejoinedhe。
``Vanity’safastgrowingweed。However，Iratherexpectedthatyouwouldremainsaneandreasonablyhumbleuntilyou’dhadarealsuccess。Butitseemsnot。Nowtellme，whyshouldIgivemytimeandmytalenttotrainingyou——toputtingyouinthewayofquickandbigsuccess？’’
Shewassilent。
``Whatdidyoucountongivingmeinreturn？Yourthanks？’’
Shecolored，hungherhead。
``Wasn’tIdoingforyousomethingworthwhile？
Andwhathadyoutogiveinreturn？’’Helaughedwithgentlemockery。``Really，youshouldhavebeengratefulthatIwaswillingtodosomuchforsolittle，forwhatIwantedought——ifyouareasensiblewoman——toseemtoyouatrifleincomparisonwithwhatI
wasdoingforyou。Itwasmypart，notyours，tothinkthecomplimentarythingsaboutyou。Howshallowandvainyouwomenare！Can’tyouseethatthevalueofyourcharmsisnotinthem，butintheimaginationofsomeman？’’
``Ican’tansweryou，’’saidshe。``You’veputitallwrong。Yououghtn’ttoaskpaymentforafavorbeyondprice。’’
``No，Ioughtn’ttoHAVEtoask，’’correctedhe，inthesamepleasantlyironicway。``Yououghttohavebeenmorethangladtogivefreely。But，curiously，whilewe’vebeentalking，I’vechangedmymindaboutthosepreciousjewelsofyours。We’llsaythey’repearls，andthatmytastehassuddenlychangedtodiamonds。’’Hebowedmockingly。``So，dearlady，keepyourpearls。’’
Andhestoodaside，openingthedoorforher。Shehesitated，dazedthatshewasleaving，withthefeelingoftheconquered，afieldonwhich，byalltheprecedents，sheoughttohavebeenvictor。Shepassedatroublednight，debatedwhethertorelateherqueerexperiencetoMrs。Belloc，decidedforsilence。Itdraftedintoserviceallherreserveofcouragetowalkintothetheaterthenextdayandtoappearonthestageamongtheassembledcompanywithherusualair。Ransdellgreetedherwithhiscustomaryfriendlycourtesyandgaveherhisattention，asalways。Bythetimetheyhadgotthroughthefirstact，inwhichherpartwasoneoffourofaboutequalimportance，shehadrecoveredherselfandwasinthewaytoforgetthestrangestagedirector’sstrangeattackandevenstrangerretreat。Butthesituationchangedwiththesecondact，inwhichshewasonthestageallthetimeandhadthewholeburden。Theactasoriginallywrittenhadbeenlessgeneroustoher。butRansdellhadtakenonethingafteranotherawayfromtheothersandhadgivenittoher。Shemadeherfirstentrancepreciselyashehadtrainedhertomakeitandbegan。Afewseconds，andhestoppedher。
``Pleasetryagain，MissGower，’’saidhe。``I’mafraidthatwon’tdo。’’
Shetriedagain。againhestoppedher。Shetriedathirdtime。Hismannerwasallcourtesyandconsideration，nottheshadeofachange。Butshebegantofeelalatenthostility。Instinctivelysheknewthathewouldnolongerhelpher，thathewouldleavehertoherownresources，andjudgeherbyhowsheacquittedherself。Shemadeablunderofherthirdtrial。
``Really，MissGower，thatwillneverdo，’’saidhemildly。``Letmeshowyouhowyoudidit。’’
Hegaveanimitationofher——aslightcaricature。
Atitterranthroughthechorus。Hesternlyrebukedthemandrequestedhertotryagain。Herfourthattemptwasherworst。Heshookhisheadingentleremonstrance。``Notquiterightyet，’’saidheregretfully。``Butwe’llgoon。’’
Notfar，however。Hestoppedheragain。Againthecourteous，kindlycriticism。Andsoon，throughtheentireact。Bytheendofit，Mildred’snerveswereunstrung。Shesawthewholegame，andrealizedhowhelplessshewas。Beforetheendofthatrehearsal，Mildredhadslippedbackfrompromisingprofessionalintoclumsyamateur，tolerableonlybecauseofthebeautifulfreshnessofhervoice——anditwasaquestionwhethervoicealonewouldsaveher。YetnoonebutMildredherselfsuspectedthatRansdellhaddoneit，hadrevengedhimself，hadservednoticeonherthatsinceshefeltstrongenoughtostandaloneshewastohaveeveryopportunitytodoso。Hehadsaidnothingdisagree-
able。onthecontrary，hehadbeenmostcourteous，mostforbearing。
Inthethirdactshewasworsethaninthesecond。
Attheendoftherehearsaltheothers，theretoforeflatteringandencouraging，turnedawaytotalkamongthemselvesandavoidedher。Ransdell，abouttoleave，said：
``Don’tlooksodown-hearted，MissGower。You’llbeallrightto-morrow。Anoffday’snothing。’’
Hesaiditloudlyenoughfortheotherstohear。
Mildred’sfacegrewredwithwhitestreaksacrossit，liketheprintsofalash。Thesubtlestfeatureofhismalevolencehadbeenthat，whereasonotherdayshehadtakenherasidetocriticizeher，onthisdayhehadspokenout——gently，deprecatingly，butfrankly——beforethewholecompany。NeverhadMildredGowerbeensosadandsoblueasshewasthatdayandthatnight。Shecametotherehearsalthefollowingdaywithasorethroat。Shesang，buthervoicecrackedonthehighnotes。Itwasapainfulexhibition。Herfellowprincipals，whohadbeenrathergladofherset-backthedaybefore，werefullofpityandsympathy。Theydidnotexpressit。theyweretookindforthat。Buttheirlooks，theirdrawingawayfromher——Mildredcouldhavebornesneersandjeersbetter。AndRansdellwasSOforbearing，SOgentle。
Hervoicegotbetter，gotworse。Heractingremainedmediocretobad。Atthefifthrehearsalafterthebreakwiththestage-director，MildredsawCrossleyseatedfarbackintheduskoftheemptytheater。Itwashisfirstappearanceatrehearsalssincethemiddleofthefirstweek。Assoonashehadsatisfiedhimselfthatallwasgoingwell，hehadgivenhisattentiontoothermatterswherethingswerenotgoingwell。Mildredknewwhyhewasthere——andsheactedandsangatrociously。
Ransdellaggravatedhernervousnessbyostentatiouslytryingtohelpher，bymakingseeminglyadroitattemptstocoverhermistakes——attemptsapparentlythwartedandexposedonlybecauseshewashopelesslybad。
InthepausebetweenthesecondandthirdactsRansdellwentdownandsatwithCrossley，andtheyengagedinearnestconversation。Thewhile，themembersofthecompanywanderedrestlesslyaboutthestage，makingfeebleattemptstoliftthegloomwithaffectedcheerfulness。
Ransdellreturnedtothestage，wentuptoMildred，whowassittingidlyturningtheleavesofapart-book。
``MissGower，’’saidhe，andneverhadhisvoicebeensofriendlyasintheseregretfulaccents，``don’ttrytogoonto-day。You’reevidentlynotyourself。Gohomeandrestforafewdays。We’llgetalongwithyourunderstudy，MissEsmond。WhenMr。Crossleywantstoputyouinagain，he’llsendforyou。Youmustn’tbediscouraged。Iknowhowbeginnerstakethesethingstoheart。Don’tfretaboutit。Youcan’tfailtosucceed。’’
Mildredroseand，howsheneverknew，crossedthestage。Shestumbledintotheflats，fumbledherwaytothepassageway，toherdressing-room。Shefeltthatshemustescapefromthattheaterquickly，orshewouldgivewaytosomesortofwildattackofnerves。ShefairlyranthroughthestreetstoMrs。Belloc’s，shutherselfinherroom。Butinsteadofthereliefofastormoftears，therecameablack，hideousdepression。Hourafterhourshesat，almostwithoutmotion。Theafternoonwaned。theearlydarknesscame。Stillshedidnotmove——couldnotmove。Ateighto’clockMrs。Bellocknocked。Mildreddidnotanswer。Herdooropened——shehadforgottentolockit。IncameMrs。Belloc。
``Isn’tthatyou，sittingbythewindow？’’shesaid。
``Yes，’’repliedMildred。
``Irecognizedtheoutlineofyourhat。Besides，whoelsecoulditbebutyou？I’vesavedsomedinnerforyou。Ithoughtyouwerestillout。’’
Mildreddidnotanswer。
``What’sthematter？’’saidAgnes？``Ill？badnews？’’
``I’velostmyposition，’’saidMildred。
Apause。ThenMrs。Bellocfeltherwayacrosstheroomuntilshewastouchingthegirl。``Tellmeaboutit，dear，’’saidshe。
Inamonotonous，lifelesswayMildredtoldthestory。
ItwassometimeaftershefinishedwhenAgnessaid：
``That’sbad——bad，butitmightbeworse。Youmustgotoseethemanager，Crossley。’’
``Why？’’saidMildred。
``Tellhimwhatyoutoldme。’’
Mildred’ssilencewasdissent。
``Itcan’tdoanyharm，’’urgedAgnes。
``Itcan’tdoanygood，’’repliedMildred。
``Thatisn’tthewaytolookatit。’’
Alongpause。ThenMildredsaid：``IfIgotaplacesomewhereelse，I’dmeetthesamethinginanotherform。’’
``You’vegottoriskthat。’’
``Besides，I’dneverhavehadachanceofsucceedingifMr。Ransdellhadn’ttaughtmeandstoodbehindme。’’
ItwasmanyminutesbeforeAgnesBellocsaidinahesitating，restrainedvoice：``Theysaythatsuccess——anykindofsuccess——hasitsprice，andthatonehastobereadytopaythatpriceorfail。’’
Againtheprofoundsilence。Intoitgraduallypenetratedthesoft，insistentsoundofthedistantroarofNewYork——acruel，clamorous，devouringsoundlikeademandforthatpriceofsuccess。SaidAgnestimidly：
``WhynotgotoseeMr。Ransdell。’’
``Hewouldn’tmakeitup，’’saidMildred。``AndI——
Icouldn’t。ItriedtomarryStanleyBairdformoney——andIcouldn’t。Itwouldbethesamewaynow——onlymoreso。’’
``Butyou’vegottodosomething。’’
``Yes，andIwill。’’Mildredhadrisenabruptly，wasstandingatthewindow。AgnesBelloccouldfeelhersoulrearingdefiantlyatthecityintowhichshewasgazing。``Iwill！’’shereplied。
``Itsoundsasifyou’dbeenpushedtowhereyou’dturnandmakeafight，’’saidAgnes。
``Ihopeso，’’saidMildred。``It’shightime。’’
ShethoughtoutseveralmoreorlessingeniousindirectroutesintoMr。Crossley’sstronghold，foruseincasefrontalattackfailed。Butshedidnotneedthem。
Still，thehoursshespentinplanningthemwerebynomeanswasted。Notimeiswastedthatisspentindesperate，concentratedthinkingaboutanyofthepracticalproblemsoflife。AndMildredGower，asmuchasanyotherwomanofhertraining——orlackoftraining——
wasdeficientinabilitytousehermindpurposefully。
Mostofusletourmindsactlikeasheepinapasture——gowanderinghitherandyon，nibblingatwhateverhappenstooffer。Onlythesuperiorfewdeliberatelyselectapasture，selectalineofprocedureinthatpastureandkeeptoit，concentratinguponwhatisusefultous，andthatalone。SoitwasexcellentexperienceforMildredtositdownandthinkconnectedlyandwithwhollyabsorbedminduponthephaseofhercareermostimportantatthemoment。Whenshehadworkedoutalltheplansthathadpromiseinthemshewenttranquillytosleep，astrongerandamoredeterminedperson，forshehadsaidwiththeenergythatcounts：``Ishallseehim，somehow。Ifnoneoftheseschemesworks，I’llworkoutothers。He’sgottoseeme。’’
Butitwasnooccult``bearingdown’’thatledhimtoorderheradmittedtheinstanthercardcame。Helikedher。hewishedtoseeheragain。hefeltthatitwasthedecentthing，andsomehownotdifficultgentlybutclearlytoconveytoherthetruth。Onhersideshe，whohadlookedforwardtotheinterviewwithsomenervousness，wasathereasethemomentshefacedhimaloneinthatinneroffice。Hehadextraordinarypersonalcharm——morethanRansdell，thoughRansdellhadthecharminvariablyfoundinahandsomehumanbeingwiththemany-sidedintellectthatgiveslightnessofmind。Crossleywasnotintellectual，notintheleast。Onehadonlytoglanceathimtoseethathewasoneofthosemenwhoreservealltheirintelligenceforthepracticalsidesofthepracticalthingthatformsthebasisoftheirmaterialcareer。Heknewsomethingofmanythings，hadawonderfulassortmentoftalents——couldsing，couldplaypianoorviolin，couldcompose，couldact，coulddomystifyingcardtricks，couldorderwomen’sclothesasdiscriminatinglyashecouldorderhisown——allthesethingsalittle，butnothingmuchexceptmakingasuccessofmusicalcomedyandcomicopera。Hehadanambition，carefullyrestrainedinaclosetofhismind，whereitcouldnotissueforthandinterferewithhisbusiness。Thisambitionwastobeagiverofgrandoperaonasuperbscale。Heregardedhimselfasameremoney-maker——wasnotashamedofthis，butneitherwasheproudofit。Hisambitionthenrepresentedadreamofarisetosomethingmorethanbusinessman，tofriendandencouragerandwetnursetoart。
MildredGowerhadhappenedtosethisimaginationtoworking。Thediscoverythatshewasoneofthosewhosepersonalitiesrousehighexpectationsonlytomockthemhadbeenasevereblowtohisconfidenceinhisownjudgment。Thoughhepretendedtobelieve，andhadthehabitofsayingthathewas``weakandsoft，’’wasalwaysbeingmisledbyhisgoodnature，hereallybelievedhimselfanunerringjudgeofhumanbeings，and，ashissuccessevidenced，hewasnotfarwrong。Thus，thoughconvincedthatMildredwasa``falsealarm，’’
hissecretvanitywouldnotlethimreleasehisoriginalidea。Hehadthetenacitythatisanimportantelementinallsuccesses。andtenacitybecomeafixedhabithasevenbeenknowntoruinintheendtheverycareersithasmade。
SaidMildred，inamannerwhichwasastonishinglyunemotionalandbusinesslike：``I’venotcometotattleandtowhine，Mr。Crossley。I’vehesitatedaboutcomingatall，partlybecauseI’veaninstinctit’suseless，partlybecausewhatIhavetosayisn’teasy。’’
Crossley’sexpressionhardened。Theoldstory！——
excuses，excuses，self-excuse——somebodyelsetoblame。
``Ifithadn’tbeenforMr。Ransdell——thetroublehetookwithme，thecoachinghegaveme——I’dhavebeenaridiculousfailureattheveryfirstrehearsal。But——itistoMr。Ransdellthatmyfailureisdue。’’
``MydearMissGower，’’saidCrossley，politebutcold，``Iregrethearingyousaythat。Thefactisverydifferent。Notuntilyouhaddoneso——sounacceptablyatseveralrehearsalsthatnewsofitreachedmebyanotherway——notuntilImyselfwenttoMr。
Ransdellaboutyoudidheadmitthattherecouldbeapossibilityofadoubtofyoursucceeding。IhadtogotorehearsalmyselfanddirectlyorderhimtorestoreMissEsmondandlayyouoff。’’
Mildredwasnotunprepared。Shereceivedthistranquilly。``Mr。Ransdellisaverycleverman，’’saidshewithperfectgoodhumor。``I’venohopeofconvincingyou，butImusttellmyside。’’
Andclearlyandsimply，withnoconcealmentsthroughfearofdisturbinghishighidealofherladylikedeli-
cacy，shetoldhimthestory。Helistened，seatedwellbackinhistilteddesk-chair，hisgazeupontheceiling。
Whenshefinishedheheldhisposeamoment，thengotupandpacedthelengthoftheofficeseveraltimes，hishandsinhispockets。Hepaused，lookedkeenlyather，agood-humoredsmileinthoseeyesofhissofascinatingtowomenbecauseoftheirfrankwaveringofaninconstancyitwouldindeedbeatriumphtoseizeandhold。
Saidhe：
``Andyourbadthroat？DidRansdellgiveyouagerm？’’
Shecolored。Hehadgonestraightattheweakpoint。
``Ifyou’dbeenabletosing，’’hewenton，``nobodycouldhavedoneyouup。’’
Shecouldnotgatherherselftogetherforspeech。
``Didn’tyouknowyourvoicewasn’treliablewhenyoucametome？’’
``Yes，’’sheadmitted。
``Andwasn’tthattheREALreasonyouhadgivenupgrandopera？’’pursuedhemercilessly。
``ThereasonwaswhatItoldyou——lackofmoney，’’
repliedshe。``IdidnotgointothereasonwhyIlackedmoney。WhyshouldIwhen，evenonmyworstdays，Icouldgetthroughallmypartinamusicalcomedy——
exceptsongsthatcouldbecutdownorcutout？IfI
couldhavemadegoodatacting，wouldyouhavegivenmeuponaccountofmyvoice？’’
``Notifyouhadbeengoodenough，’’headmitted。
``ThenIdidnotgetmyengagementonfalsepretenses？’’
``No。Youareright。Still，yourfall-downasasingeristheimportantfact。Don’tlosesightofit。’’
``Ishan’t，’’saidshetersely。
Hiseyeswerefranklylaughing。``AstoRansdell——whataclevertrick！He’saremarkableman。Ifheweren’tsoshrewdinthoselittleways，hemighthavebeenagreatman。Sameoldstory——justalittletoosmart，andsoalwaysdoingthelittlethingandmissingthebigthing。Yes，hewentgunningforyou——andgotyou。’’Hedroppedintohischair。Hethoughtamoment，laughedaloud，wenton：``Nodoubthehasworkedthatsametrickmanyatime。I’vesuspecteditonceortwice，butthistimehefooledme。Hegotyou，MissGower，andIcandonothing。YoumustseethatIcan’tlookafterdetails。AndIcan’tgiveupasinvaluableamanasRansdell。IfIputyouback，he’dputyouout——wouldmakethepiecefailratherthanletyousucceed。’’
Mildredwasgazingsomberlyatthefloor。
``It’shardlines——devilishhardlines，’’hewentonsympathetically。``ButwhatcanIdo？’’
``WhatcanIdo？’’saidMildred。
``Doasallpeopledowhosucceed——meettheconditions。’’
``I’mnotpreparedtogoasfarasthat，atleastnotyet，’’saidshewithbittersarcasm。``PerhapswhenI’mactuallystarvingandinrags——’’
``Averydistressingfuture，’’interruptedCrossley。
``But——Ididn’tmaketheworld。Don’tberateme。
Besensible——andbehonest，MissGower，andtellme——
howcouldIpossiblyprotectyouandcontinuetogivesuccessfulshows？Ifyoucansuggestanyfeasibleway，I’lltakeit。’’
``No，thereisn’tanyway，’’repliedshe，risingtogo。
Herosetoescorthertothehalldoor。``Personally，theRansdellsortofthingis——distastefultome。PerhapsifIwerenotsobusyImightbeforcedbymyowngiddymisconducttotakelesshighground。I’veobservedthatthebestthatcanbesaidforhumannatureatitsbestisthatitisaswellbehavedasitsrealtemptationspermit。Hewasmakingyou，youknow。You’veadmittedit。’’
``There’snodoubtaboutthat，’’saidMildred。
``Mindyou，I’mnotexcusinghim。I’msimplyexplaininghim。Ifyourvoicehadbeenallright——ifyoucouldhavestoodtoanydegreethetestheputyouto，thetestofstandingalone——you’dhavedefeatedhim。Hewouldn’thavedaredgoon。He’stooshrewdtothinkarealtalentcanbebeaten。’’
Thestronglines，thelatentcharacter，inMildred’sfaceweresostronglyinevidencethatlookingatherthennoonewouldhavethoughtofherbeautyorevenofhersex，butonlyoftheforcethatresistsallandovercomesall。``Yes——thevoice，’’saidshe。``Thevoice。’’
``Ifit’severreliable，cometoseeme。Untilthen——’’
Heputouthishand。Whenshegavehimhers，hehelditinawaythatgavehernoimpulsetodrawback。
``Youknowtheconditionsofsuccessnow。Youmustpreparetomeetthem。IfyouputyourselfatthemercyoftheRansdells——oranyotherofthepettyintriguersthatbeseteveryavenueofsuccess——youmusttaketheconsequences，youmustconciliatethemasbestyoucan。
Ifyoudon’twishtobeattheirmercy，youmustdoyourpart。’’
Shenodded。Hereleasedherhand，openedthehalldoor。Hesaid：
``Forgivemylittlelecture。ButIlikeyou，andI
can’thelphavinghopeofyou。’’Hesmiledcharmingly，hiskeen，inconstanteyesdimming。``PerhapsI
hopebecauseyou’reyoungandextremelylovelyandI
ampitifullysusceptible。Yousee，you’dbettergo。
Everyman’saRansdellatheartwhereprettywomenareconcerned。’’
Shedidnotleavethebuilding。ShewenttotheelevatorandaskedtheboywhereshecouldfindSignorMoldini。Hisofficewasthebigroomonthethirdfloorwherevoicecandidateswereusuallytriedout，threedaysintheweek。Atthemomenthewasengaged。Mildred，seatedinthetinyanteroom，heardthroughtheglassdooragirlsinging，ortryingtosing。Itwasadistressingperformance，andMildredwonderedthatMoldinicouldbesotolerantastohearherthrough。Hecametothedoorwithher，thankedherprofusely，toldherhewouldletherknowwhenevertherewasanopening``suitedtoyourtalents。’’AsheobservedMildred，hewasstillsighingandshakinghisheadoverthedepartedcandidate。
``Uglyandignorant！’’hegroaned。``Poorcreature！Poor，poorcreature。Shemakesthreedollarsaweek——inafactoryownedbyagreatphilanthropist。
Threedollarsaweek。Andshehasnowaytomakeacentmore。MissGower，theytalkaboutthesad，naughtygirlswhosellthemselvesinthestreettopieceouttheirwages。Butthink，dearyounglady，howinfinitelybetteroftheyarethantheuglyoneswhocan’tpieceouttheirwages。’’
Therehelookeddirectlyatherforthefirsttime。
Beforeshecouldgraspthetragicsadnessofhisidea，he，withthemobilityofcandidandhighlysensitizednatures，shiftedfrommelancholytogay，forinlookingatherhehadcaughtonlythecharmofdress，offace，ofarrangementofhair。``Whatapleasure！’’heexclaimed，burstingintosmilesandseizingandkissingherglovedhands。``Voicelikeabird，facelikeanangel——onlynotTOOgood，no，notTOOgood。Butitissorare——tolookasonesings，tosingasonelooks。’’
Foronce，compliment，sincerecomplimentfromonewhoseopinionwasworthwhile，gaveMildredpain。Sheburstoutwithhernews：``SignorMoldini，I’velostmyplaceinthecompany。Myvoicehasgonebackonme。’’
UsuallyMoldiniaboundedintheconsiderationoffinenaturesthathavesuffereddeeplyfromlackofconsideration。
Buthewassoastoundedthathecouldonlystarestupidlyather，smoothinghislonggreasyhairwithhisthinbrownhand。
``It’sallmyfault。Idon’ttakecareofmyself，’’shewenton。``Idon’ttakecareofmyhealth。Atleast，Ihopethat’sit。’’
``Hope！’’hesaid，suddenlyangry。
``Hopeso，becauseifitisn’tthat，thenI’venochanceforacareer，’’explainedshe。
Helookedatherfeet，pointedanuncannilylongforefingeratthem。``Thecrossingsandsidewalksareslush——andyou，asinger，withoutovershoes！Lunacy！
Lunacy！’’
``I’veneverwornovershoes？’’saidMildredapologetically。
``Don’ttellme！Iwishnottohear。Itmakesme——likemadnesshere。’’Hestruckhislowslopingbrowwithhispalm。``Whatvanity！Thatthefeetmaylookwelltothepassingstranger，noovershoes！
Rheumatism，sorethroat，colds，pneumonia。Isitnotdisgusting。IfyouwereamanIshouldswearinallthelanguagesIknow——whicharefive，includingHungarian，andwhenoneswearsinHungarianitis`goingsome，’asyousayinAmerica。Yes，itisgoingquitesome。’’
``Ishallwearovershoes，’’saidMildred。
``Andindigestion——youhavethat？’’
``Alittle，Iguess。’’
``Much——much，Itellyou！’’criedMoldini，shakingthelongfingerather。``YouAmericans！Youeattoofastandyoueattoomuch。Thatiswhyyouarealwayssick，andconsultingthedoctorswhogivethemedicinesthatmakeworse，notbetter。Yes，youAmericansarelikechildren。Youknownothing。Sing？
Americanscannotsinguntiltheylearnthatastomachisn’tawaste-basket，totosseverythinginto。Youhavebeentothatthroatspecialist，Hicks？’’
``Ah，yes，’’saidMildredbrightening。``Hesaidtherewasnothingorganicallywrong。’’
``Heisanass，andacriminal。Heruinsthroats。
Helikestocut，andhelikestospray。Hespraysthosepoisonsthatrelievecoldsandparalyzethethroatandcords。Americanssing？Itistolaugh！Theyhavetoomanydoctors。theytaketoomanypills。Doyouknowwhatyournationalemblemshouldbe？Adollar-
sign——yes。Butthatforallnations。No，apill——apill，Itellyou。Youtakepills？’’
``Nowandthen，’’saidMildred，laughing。``IadmitIhaveseveralkindsalwaysonhand。’’
``Yousee！’’criedhetriumphantly。``No，itisnotmereartthatAmericaneeds，butmoresenseabouteating——andtokeepawayfromthedoctors。Peoplefullofpills，theycannotmakepoemsandpictures，andwriteoperasandsingthem。Throwawaythosepills，dearyounglady，Iimploreyou。’’
``SignorMoldini，I’vecometoaskyoutohelpme。’’
InstantlytheItalianclearedhisfaceofitshalf-
humorous，half-querulousexpression。Initsplacecameagraveandcourteouseagernesstoserveherthatwasapleasure，evenifitwasnotaltogethersincere。AndMildredcouldnotbelieveitsincere。Whyshouldhecarewhatbecameofher，orbewillingtoputhimselfoutforher？
``Youtoldmeonedaythatyouhadatonetimetaughtsinging，’’continuedshe。
``UntilIwasstarvedout？’’repliedhe。``Itoldpeoplethetruth。IftheycouldnotsingIsaidso。IftheysangbadlyItoldthemwhy，anditwasalwaystheupsetstomach，thefoolishfood，andpeoplewillnottakecareaboutfood。Theywilleatwhattheyplease，andtheysayeatingisgoodforthem，andthatanyonewhoopposesthemisacrank。Somostofmypupilsleft，exceptthoseItaughtfornothing——andtheydidnotheedme，andcametonothing。’’
``Youshowedmeintenminutesonedayhowtocuremyworstfault。I’vesungbetter，morenaturallyeversince。’’
``Youcouldsinglikethebirds。Youdo——almost。
Youcouldbetaughttosingasfreelyandsweetlyandnaturallyasaflowergivesperfume。ThatisYOUR
divinegift，youngladysongaspureandfreshasabird’ssongrainingdownthroughtheleavesfromthetree-top。’’
``Ihavenomoney。I’vegottogetit，andIshallgetit，’’continuedMildred。``Iwantyoutoteachme——atanyhourthatyouarefree。AndIwanttoknowhowmuchyouwillcharge，sothatIshallknowhowmuchtoget。’’
``Twodollarsalesson。Or，ifyoutakesixlessonsaweek，tendollars。Thoseweremyterms。Icouldnottakeless。’’
``Itistoolittle，’’saidMildred。``Thepoorestkindsofteachersgetfivedollarsanhour——andteachnothing。’’
``Twodollars，tendollarsaweek，’’repliedhe。``ItisthemostIevercouldget。Iwillnottakemorefromyou。’’
``Itistoolittle，’’saidshe。``ButI’llnotinsist——
forobviousreasons。Now，ifyou’llgivemeyourhomeaddress，I’llgo。WhenIgetthemoney，I’llwritetoyou。’’
``Butwait！’’criedhe，assherosetodepart。``Whysohurried？Letussee。Takeofthewrap。Stepbe-
hindthescreenandloosenyourcorset。Perhapsevenyoucouldtakeitoff？’’
``Notwithoutundressing，’’saidMildred。``ButI
candothatifit’snecessary。’’Shelaughedqueerly。
``FromthistimeonI’lldoANYTHINGthat’snecessary。’’
``No，——nevermind。Thedressofwoman——ofyourkindofwomen。Itisnotserious。’’Helaughedgrimly。``Asfortheotherkind，theirdressistheonlyseriousthingaboutthem。Itisamistaketothinkthatwomenwhodressbadlyareserious。Myexperiencehasbeenthattheyarethemostfoolishofall。Fashionabledress——itispartofawoman’stools。Itshowsthatsheisgoodatherbusiness。Thewomenwhotrytodresslikemen，theyaregoodneitheratmen’sbusinessnoratwomen’s。’’
This，whileMildredwasbehindthescreen，looseninghercorset——though，infact，sheworeitsolooseatalltimesthatsheinconveniencedherselfsimplytoshowherwillingnesstodoasshewastold。Whenshecameout，Moldiniputherthrougharigidphysicalexamination——madeherbreathewhileheheldonehandonherstomach，theotheronherback，listenedatherheart，openedwideherthroatandpeereddown，thrusthislongstrongfingersdeepintothemusclesofherarms，herthroat，herchest，untilshehaddifficultyinnotcryingoutwithpain。
``Thefoundationisthere，’’washisverdict。``Youhaveagoodbody，goodmuscles，butflabby——alady’smuscles，notanoperasinger’s。Andyouarestiff——
notsostiffaswhenyoufirstcamehere，butstiffforaprofessional。Ah，wemustgoatthisscientifically，thoroughly。’’
``Youwillteachmetobreathe——andhowtoproducemyvoicenaturally？’’
``Iwillteachyounothing，’’repliedhe。``Iwilltellyouwhattodo，andyouwillteachyourself。Youmustgetstrong——stronginthesuppleway——andthenyouwillsingasGodintended。Thewaytosing，dearyounglady，istosing。Nottobreatheartificially，andmakefaces，andfusswithyourthroat，butsimplytodropyourmouthandthroatopenandletitout！’’
Mildredproducedfromherhand-bagtheKeithpaper。``WhatdoYOUthinkofthat？’’sheasked。
Presentlyhelookedupfromhisreading。``ThispartIhaveseenbefore，’’saidhe。``ItisLuciaRivi’s。
Hercousin，LottaDrusini，showedittome——shewasagreatsingeralso。’’
``Youapproveofit？’’
``Ifyouwillfollowthatfortwoyears，faithfully，youwillbesecurelygreat，andthenyouwillfollowitallyoursinginglife——anditwillbelong。Butremember，dearyounglady，IsaidIFyoufollowit，andIsaidfaithfully。Idonotbelieveyoucan。’’
``Whynot？’’saidMildred。
``Becausethatmeansself-denial，colossalself-denial。
Youlovethingstoeat——yes？’’
Mildrednodded。
``Wealldo，’’saidMoldini。``Andwehateroutine，andwelikefoolish，aimlesslittlepleasuresofallkinds。’’
``AnditwillbetwoyearsbeforeIcantrygrandopera——canmakemyliving？’’saidMildredslowly。
``Ididnotsaythat。Isaid，beforeyouwouldbegreat。No，youcansing，Ithink，in——wait。’’
Moldiniflungrapidlythroughanenormousmassofmusiconalargetable。``Ah，here！’’hecried，andheshowedheramanuscriptofscales。``Thosetwopapers。
Itdoesnotlookmuch？Well，Ihavemadeitup，myself。Andwhenyoucansingthosetwopapersperfectly，youwillbeagreatersingerthananythateverlived。’’Helaugheddelightedly。``Yes，itisallthere——intwopages。Butdonotweep，dearlady，becauseyouwillneversingthemperfectly。Youwilldoverywellif——Alwaysthatif，remember！Now，letussee。Takethis，sitinthechair，andbegin。Don’tbotheraboutme。Iexpectnothing。Justdothebestyoucan。’’
Desperation，whenitfallsshortofdespair，isthebestwordforachievement。Mildred’svoice，especiallyattheoutset，wasfarfromperfectcondition。Herhighnotes，whichhadneverbeendevelopedproperly，werealmostbad。Butsheacquittedherselfadmirablyfromthestandpointofshowingwhatherpossibilitieswere。AndMoldini，unkempt，almostunclean，butasnaturalandsimpleandhumanasoulaseverpaidthepenaltiesofpovertyandobscurityandfriendlessnessforbeingnaturalandsimpleandhuman，exactlysuitedherpeculiartemperament。Sheknewthathelikedher，thathebelievedinher。sheknewthathewasassympathetictowardherasherownself，thattherewasnomeannessanywhereinhim。Soshesanglikeabird——
abirdthatwasnottoowellinsoulorinbody，butstillabirdoutinthesunshine，withtheairsofspringcheer-
inghisbreastanditsfoliagegladdeninghiseyes。Hekeptheratitfornearlyanhour。Shesawthathewaspleased，thathehadthoughtoutsomeplanandwasburstingtotellher，buthadforbiddenhimselftospeakofit。Hesaid：
``Yousayyouhavenomoney？’’
``No，butIshallgetit。’’
``Youmayhavetopayhighforit——yes？’’
Shecolored，butdidnotflinch。``Atworst，itwillbe——unpleasant，butthat’sall。’’
``Waitone——twodays——untilyouhearfromme。
Imay——Idonotsaywill，butmay——getit。Yes，I
whohavenothing。’’Helaughedgayly。``Andwe——
youandI——wewilldividethespoils。’’Gravely。``Donotmisunderstand。Thatwasmylittlejoke。IfIgetthemoneyforyouitwillbequitehonorableandbusinesslike。
So——wait，dearyounglady。’’
Asshewasgoing，shecouldnotresistsaying：
``YouareSUREIcansing？——IF，ofcourse——alwaystheif。’’
``Itisnottobedoubted。’’
``Howwell，doyouthink？’’
``Youmeanhowmanydollarsanightwell？Youmeanaswellasthisgreatsingerorthat？Idonotknow。Andyouarenottocompareyourselfwithanyonebutyourself。YouwillsingaswellasMildredGoweratherbest。’’
Forsomereasonherbloodwenttinglingthroughherveins。Ifshehaddaredshewouldhavekissedhim。
X
THATsameafternoonDonaldKeith，arrivedatthetopofMrs。Belloc’ssteps，metMildredcomingout。
Seeingtheirgreeting，onewouldhavethoughttheyhadseeneachotherbutafewminutesbeforeorwerecasualacquaintances。Saidshe：
``I’mgoingforawalk。’’
``Let’stakethetaxi，’’saidhe。
Thereitstoodinvitinglyatthecurb。Shefelttired。
Shedislikedwalking。Shewishedtositbesidehimandbewhirledaway——outofthenoisypartofthecity，upwheretheairwascleanandwheretherewerenocrowds。
ButshehadbeguntheregimenofLuciaRivi。Shehesitated。Whatmatterifshebegannoworputoffbeginninguntilafterthisonelastdrive？
``No，wewillwalk，’’saidshe。
``Butthestreetsareinfrightfulcondition。’’
Shethrustoutafootcoveredwithanewandshinystorm-rubber。
``Let’sdrivetotheparkthen。We’llwalkthere。’’
``No。IfIgetintothetaxi，I’llnotgetout。Senditaway。’’
WhentheyweremovingafootupMadisonAvenue，hesaid：``What’sthematter？Thisisn’tlikeyou。’’
``I’vecometomysenses，’’repliedshe。``Itmaybetoolate，butI’mgoingtosee。’’
``WhenIcalledonMrs。Brindleytheotherday，’’
saidhe，``shehadyournote，sayingthatyouweregoingintomusicalcomedywithCrossley。’’
``That’sover，’’saidshe。``Ilostmyvoice，andI
lostmyjob。’’
``SoIheard，’’saidhe。``IknowCrossley。I
droppedintoseehimthismorning，andhetoldmeaboutafoolish，fashionablegirlwhomadeabluffatgoingonthestage——hesaidshehadagoodvoiceandwasaswelllooker，butprovedtobearegular`four-
flusher。’Irecognizedyou。’’
``Thanks，’’saidshedryly。
``So，Icametoseeyou。’’
SheinquiredaboutMrs。BrindleyandthenaboutStanleyBaird。FindingthathewasinItaly，sheinquired：``Doyouhappentoknowhisaddress？’’
``I’llgetitandsendittoyou。HehastakenahouseatMonteCarloforthewinter。’’
``Andyou？’’
``Ishallstayhere——Ithink。’’
``Youmayjoinhim？’’
``Itdepends’’——helookedather——``uponyou。’’
Hecouldputawonderfulamountofmeaningintoaslightinflection。Shestruggled——notinvain——tokeepfromchangingexpression。
``Yourealizenowthatthecareerisquitehopeless？’’
saidhe。
Shedidnotanswer。
``Youdonotlikethestagelife？’’
``No。’’
``Andthestagelifedoesnotlikeyou？’’
``No。’’
``Yourvoicelacksbothstrengthandstability？’’
``Yes。’’
``Andyouhavefoundtheonewaybywhichyoucouldgeton——andyoudon’tlikeit？’’
``Crossleytoldyou？’’saidshe，thecolorflaring。
``Yournamewasnotmentioned。Youmaynotbelieveit，butCrossleyisagentleman。’’
Shewalkedoninsilence。
``Ididnotexpectyourfailuretocomesosoon——orinquitethatway，’’hewenton。``IgotMrs。Brindleytoexactapromisefromyouthatyou’dletherknowaboutyourself。IcalledonMrs。Belloconedaywhenyouwereout，andgavehermyconfidenceandgothers——andassuredmyselfthatyouwereingoodhands。
Crossley’stalegaveme——ashock。Icameatonce。’’
``Thenyoudidn’tabandonmetomyfate，asI
thought？’’
Hesmiledinhisstrangeway。``I？——whenIlovedyou？Hardly。’’
``Thenyoudidinterestyourselfinmebecauseyoucared——preciselyasIsaid，’’laughedshe。
``AndIshouldhavegivenyouupifyouhadsucceeded——preciselyasIsaid，’’repliedhe。
``Youwishedmetofail？’’
``Iwishedyoutofail。IdideverythingIcouldtohelpyoutosucceed。Ievenleftyouabsolutelyalone，setyouintherightway——theonlywayinwhichanyonecanwinsuccess。’’
``Yes，youmademethrowawaythecrutchesandtrytowalk。’’
``Itwashardtodothat。Thosestrainsareverywearingatmytimeoflife。’’
``Youneverwereanyyounger，andyou’llneverbeanyolder，’’laughedshe。``That’syourcharm——oneofthem。’’
``Mildred，doyoustillcare？’’
``Howdidyouknow？’’inquiredshemockingly。
``Youdidn’ttrytoconcealit。I’dnothaveventuredtosayanddothethingsIsaidanddidifIhadn’tfeltthatwecaredforeachother。But，solongasyouwereleadingthatfatuouslifeanddreamingthosefoolishdreams，Iknewwecouldneverbehappy。’’
``Thatistrue——oh，SOtrue，’’repliedshe。
``Butnow——youhavetried，andthathasmadeawomanofyou。Andyouhavefailed，andthathasmadeyoureadytobeawife——tobehappyinthequiet，privateways。’’
Shewassilent。
``Icanmakeenoughforusboth——asmuchaswewillneedorwant——asmuchasyouplease，ifyouaren’ttooextravagant。AndIcandoiteasily。It’smakinglittlesums——asmallincome——that’shardinthisridiculousworld。Let’smarry，gotoCaliforniaorEuropeforseveralmonths，thencomebackhereandlivelikehumanbeings。’’
Shewassilent。Blockafterblocktheywalkedalong，asifneitherhadanythingespecialinmind，anythingworththetroubleofspeech。Finallyhesaid：
``Well？’’
``Ican’tanswer——yet，’’saidshe。``Notto-day——
nottillI’vethought。’’
Sheglancedquicklyathim。Overhisimpassiveface，sobeautifullyregularand，toher，sofascinating，therepassedaquickdarkshadow，andsheknewthathewassuffering。Helaughedquietly，hisoldcareless，indifferentlaugh。
``Oh，yes，youcananswer，’’saidhe。``Youhaveanswered。’’
Shedrewinherbreathsharply。
``Youhaverefused。’’
``Whydoyousaythat，Donald？’’shepleaded。
``Tohesitateoveraproposalistorefuse，’’saidhewithgentleraillery。``Amanisafoolwhodoesnotunderstandandsheeroffwhenawomanasksfortime。’’
``YouknowthatIloveyou，’’shecried。
``Ialsoknowthatyoulovesomethingelsemore。
Butit’sfinished。Let’stalkaboutsomethingelse。’’
``Won’tyouletmetellyouwhyIhesitate？’’beggedshe。
``Itdoesn’tmatter。’’
``Butitdoes。Yes，Idorefuse，Donald。I’llnevermarryyouuntilIamindependent。YousaidawhileagothatwhatI’vebeenthroughhadmadeawomanofme。Notyet。I’monlybeginning。I’mstillweak——
stillacoward。Donald，Imustandwillbefree。’’
Helookedfullather，withastrangesmileinhisbrillianteyes。Saidhe，withobviousintenttochangethesubject：``Mrs。Brindley’sveryunhappythatyouhaven’tbeentoseeher。’’
``Whenyouaskedmetomarryyou，theonlyreasonIalmostacceptedwasbecauseIwantsomeonetosupportme。Iloveyou——yes。Butitisasonelovesbeforeonehasgivenoneselfandhaslivedthesamelifewithanother。Intheordinarysense，it’slovethatIfeel。But——doyouunderstandme，dearest？——inanothersense，it’sonlythehopeoflove，thebeliefthatlovewillcome。’’
Hestoppedshortandlookedather，hiseyesalivewiththestimulusofanewandstartlingidea。
``IfyouandIhadbeeneverythingtoeachother，andyouweresaying`Letusgoonlivingtheonelife’
andIwerehesitating，thenyou’dberight。AndI
couldn’thesitate，Donald。Ifyouweremine，nothingcouldmakemegiveyouup，butwhenit’sonlythehopeofhavingyou，thenprideandself-respecthaveachancetobeheard。’’
Hewasreadytomoveon。``There’ssomethinginthat，’’saidhe，lapsedintohisusualseemingofimpassiveness。``Butnotmuch。’’
``Ineverbeforeknewyoutofailtounderstand。’’
``Iunderstandperfectly。Youcare，butyoudon’tcareenoughtosuitme。Ihaven’twaitedalltheseyearsbeforegivingawomanmylove，tobecontentwithaloveseatedquietlyanddemurelybetweenprideandself-
respect。’’
``Youwouldn’tmarrymeuntilIhadfailed，’’saidsheshrewdly。``NowyouattackmeforrefusingtomarryyouuntilI’vesucceeded。’’
Aslightshrug。``Proposalwithdrawn，’’saidhe。
``Nowlet’stalkaboutyourcareer，yourplans。’’
``I’mbeginningtounderstandmyselfalittle，’’saidshe。``Isupposeyouthinkthatsortofpersonaltalkisverysillyandvain——andtrivial。’’
``Onthecontrary，’’repliedhe，``itisn’tabsolutelynecessarytounderstandoneself。Oneissweptoninthesamegeneraldirection，anyhow。Butunderstandinghelpsonetogofasterandsteadier。’’
``Itbegan，awayback，whenIwasagirl——thisideaofacareer。Ienviedmenanddespisedwomen，thesortofwomenIknewandmetwith。Ididn’trealizewhy，then。Butitwasbecauseamanhadachancetobesomebodyinhimselfandtodosomething，whileawomanwasjusta——amoreorlessornamentalbelongingofsomeman’s——whatyouwantmetobecomenow。’’
``Asfaraspossiblefrommyidea。’’
``Don’tyouwantmetobelongtoyou？’’
``AsIbelongtoyou。’’
``Thatsoundswell，butitisn’twhatcouldhappen。
Thefactis，Donald，thatIwanttobelongtoyou——
wanttobeownedbyyouandtolosemyselfinyou。
Andit’sthatI’mfighting。’’
Shefeltthelookhewasbendinguponher，andglowedandcoloredunderit，butdidnotdaretoturnhereyestomeetit。Saidhe：``Whyfightit？Whynotbehappy？’’
``Ah，butthat’sjustit，’’criedshe。``Ishouldn’tbehappy。AndIshouldmakeyoumiserable。Theideaofacareer——theideathat’srooteddeepinmeandcan’teverbegotout，Donald。itwouldtormentme。Youcouldn’tkillit，nomatterhowmuchyoulovedme。I’dyieldforthetime。Then，I’dgoback——
or，ifIdidn’t，I’dbewretchedandmakeyouwishyou’dneverseenme。’’
``Iunderstand，’’saidhe。``Idon’tbelieveit，butI
understand。’’
``YouthinkI’mdeceivingmyself，becauseyousawmewastingmylife，playingtheidlerandthefool，pretendingIwasworkingtowardacareerwhenIwasreallymakingmyselffitfornothingbuttobeStanleyBaird’smistress。’’
``Andyou’restilldeceivingyourself。Youwon’tseethetruth。’’
``Nomatter，’’saidshe。``Imustgoonandmakeacareer——somekindofacareer。’’
``Atwhat？’’
``Atgrandopera。’’
``How’llyougetthemoney？’’
``OfStanley，ifnecessary。That’swhyIaskedhisaddress。Ishan’taskformuch。He’llnotrefuse。’’
``Afewminutesagoyouweretalkingofself-
respect。’’
``AssomethingIhopedtoget。Itcomeswithindependence。I’llpayanypricetogetit。’’
``Anyprice？’’saidhe，andneverbeforehadsheseenhisself-controlindanger。
``Ishan’taskStanleyuntilmyotherplanshavefailed。’’
``Whatotherplans？’’
``IamgoingtoaskMrs。Bellocforthemoney。Shecouldaffordtogive——tolend——thelittleI’dwant。
I’mgoingtoaskherinsuchawaythatitwillbeashardaspossibleforhertorefuse。Thatisn’tladylike，but——I’vedroppedoutoftheladyclass。’’
``Andifsherefuses？’’
``ThenI’llgooneafteranothertoseveralveryrichmenIknow，andaskthemasabusinessproposition。’’
``Goinperson，’’advisedhewithanundisguisedsneer。
``I’llraisenofalsehopesinthem，’’shesaid。``Iftheychoosetodeludethemselves，I’llnotgooutofmywaytoundeceivethem——untilIhaveto。’’
``SoTHISisMildredGower？’’
``Youmadethatremarkbefore。’’
``Really？’’
``WhenStanleyshowedyouacertainphotographofme。’’
``Iremember。Thisisthesamewoman。’’
``It’sme，’’laughedshe。``Therealme。You’dnotcaretobemarriedtoher？’’
``No，’’saidhe。Then，afterabriefsilence：``Yet，curiously，itwasthatwomanwithwhomIfellinlove。
No，notexactlyinlove，forI’vebeenthinkingaboutwhatyousaidastothedifferencebetweenloveinposseandloveinesse，toputitscientifically——betweenloveasaprospectandloveasareality。’’
``AndIwasright，’’saidshe。``Itexplainswhymarriagesgotopiecesandaffairscometogrief。Thoseloversmistooklove’spromisetocomeforfulfillment。
Lovedoesn’tdie。Itsimplyfailstocome——doesn’tredeemitspromise。’’
``That’sthewayitmightbewithus，’’saidhe。
``That’sthewayitwouldbewithus，’’rejoinedshe。
Hedidnotanswer。Whentheyspokeagainitwasofindifferentmatters。Anhourandahalfaftertheystarted，theywereatMrs。Belloc’sagain。Sheaskedhimtohaveteaintherestaurantnextdoor。Hedeclined。Hewentupthestepswithher，said：
``Well，Iwishyouluck。MoldiniisthebestteacherinAmerica。’’
``HowdidyouknowMoldiniwastoteachme？’’
exclaimedshe。
Hesmiled，putouthishandinfarewell。``Crossleytoldme。Good-by。’’
``HetoldCrossley！Iwonderwhy。’’Shewassointerestedinthisnewphasethatshedidnotseehisoutstretchedhand，orthelookofbitterironythatcameintohiseyesatthisproofofthesubordinateplaceloveandhehadinherthoughts。
``I’mnervousandanxious，’’shesaidapologetically。
``Moldinitoldmehehadsomeschemeaboutgettingthemoney。Ifheonlycould！Butnosuchluckforme，’’sheaddedsadly。
Keithhesitated，debatedwithhimself，said：``Youneedn’tworry。Moldinigotit——fromCrossley。
Fiftydollarsaweekforayear。’’
``YougotCrossleytodoit？’’
``No。HehaddoneitbeforeIsawhim。HehadjustpromisedMoldiniandwascursinghimselfas`weakandsoft。’Butthatmeansnothing。YoumaybesurehediditbecauseMoldiniconvincedhimitwasagoodspeculation。’’
Shewasradiant。Shehadnotvanityenoughwherehewasconcernedtobelievethathedeeplycared，thatherjoywouldgivehimpainbecauseitmeantforgetfulnessofhim。Norwasshemuchimpressedbytheexpressionofhiseyes。Andevenasshehurthim，shemadehimloveherthemore。forheappreciatedhowrarewasthewomanwho，insuchcircumstances，doesnotfeedhervanitywithpityforthepoormansufferingsohorriblybecauseheisnottogetherpreciousself。
Itflasheduponherwhyhehadnotofferedtohelpher。``Thereisn’tanybodylikeyou，’’saidshe，withnoexplanationofherapparentirrelevancy。
``Don’tletMoldiniseethatyouknow，’’saidhe，withcharacteristicfinethoughtfulnessforothersinthemidstofhisownunhappiness。``Itwoulddeprivehimofagreatpleasure。’’
Hewasabouttogo。Suddenlyhereyesfilledand，openingtheouterdoor，shedrewhimin。``Donald，’’shesaid，``Iloveyou。Takemeinyourarmsandmakemebehave。’’
Helookedpasther。hisarmshungathissides。Saidhe：``Andto-nightI’dgetanotebymessengersayingthatyouhadtakenitallback。No，thegirlinthephotograph——thatwasyou。Shewasn’tmadetobeMY
wife。OrItobeherhusband。Iloveyoubecauseyouarewhatyouare。Ishouldnotloveyouifyouweretheordinarywoman，thesortwhomarriesandmerges。ButI’moldenoughtosparemyself——andyou——theconsequencesofwhatitwouldmeanifwewereanythingbutstrangerstoeachother。’’
``Yes，youmustkeepaway——altogether。Ifyoudidn’t，I’dbeneithertheonethingnortheother，butjustapoorfailure。’’
``You’llnotfail，’’saidhe。``Iknowit。It’swritteninyourface。’’Helookedather。Shewasnotlookingathim，butwitheyesgazingstraightaheadwasrevealingthatlatent，inexplicablepowerwhich，whenitappearedatthesurface，sostronglydominatedandsubordinatedherbeautyandhersex。Heshuthisteethtogetherhardandglancedaway。
``Youwillnotfail，’’herepeatedbitterly。``Andthat’stheworstofit。’’
Withoutanotherword，withoutahandshake，hewent。
Andsheknewthat，exceptbychance，hewouldneverseeheragain——orshehim。
Moldini，disheveledandhystericalwithdelightandsuspense，wasinthedrawing-room——hadbeentherehalfanhour。Atfirstshecouldhardlyforcehermindtolisten。butashetalkedonandon，hecapturedherattentionandheldit。
ThenextdayshebeganwithMoldini，andputtheLuciaRivisystemintoforceinallitsmorethanconventualrigors。Andforaboutamonthsheworkedlikeadevouringflame。Neverhadtherebeensuchenergy，suchenthusiasm。Mrs。Bellocwasalarmedforherhealth，buttheRivisystemtookcareofthat。andpresentlyMrs。Bellocwasmovedtosay，``Well，I’veoftenheardthathardworkneverharmedanyone，butIneverbelievedit。NowIknowthetruth。’’
ThenMildredwenttoHangingRocktospendSaturdaytoMondaywithhermother。Presbury，reducednowbyvariousinfirmities——byabsolutedeafness，bydimnessofsight，bydifficultyinwalking——towhereeatingwashissoleremainingpleasure，or，indeed，distraction，spentallhistimeinconcoctingdishesforhim-
self。Mildredcouldnotresist——andwhocanwhenseatedattablewiththedishbeforeone’seyesandunderone’snose。TheRiviregimenwassuspendedforthevisit。Mildred，backinNewYorkandatworkagain，foundthatshewasapparentlynonetheworseforherholiday，wasinfactbetter。Soshedriftedintothewayofsuspendingtheregimenforaneveningnowandthen——whenshedinedwithMrs。Brindley，orwhenAgnesBellochadsomethingparticularlygood。Allwentwellforatime。Then——acold。Sheneglectedit，feelingsureitcouldnotstaywithonesosoundlyhealthythroughandthrough。Butitdidstay。itgrewworse。Shedecidedthatsheoughttotakemedicineforit。True，starvationwasthecureprescribedbytheregimen，butMildredcouldnotbringherselftotwoorthreedaysofdiscomfort。Also，manypeopletoldherthatsuchacurewasfoolishandevendangerous。
Thecoldgotbetter，gotworse，gotbetter。Butherthroatbecamequeer，andatlasthervoicelefther。
ShewasashamedtogotoMoldiniinsuchacondition。
ShedroppedinuponHicks，thethroatspecialist。He``fixedherup’’beautifullywithafewsprayings。A
week——andhervoiceleftheragain，andHickscouldnotbringitback。Asshelefthisoffice，itwasraining——anicy，drearydrizzle。Shesplashedherwayhome，inaboutthelowestspiritsshehadeverknown。Shelockedherdoorandseatedherselfatthewindowandstaredout，whilethestormragedwithinher。AfteranhourortwoshewroteandsentMoldinianote：
``Ihavebeenmakingafoolofmyself。I’llnotcomeagainuntilIamallright。Bepatientwithme。I
don’tthinkthiswilloccuragain。’’Shefirstwrote``happen。’’Shescratcheditoutandput``occur’’initsplace。NotthatMoldiniwouldhavenotedtheslip。
simplythatshewouldnotpermitherselfthesatisfactionofthefalseandself-excusing``happen。’’Ithadnotbeena``happen。’’Ithadbeenadeliberatefolly，alapsetotheMildredshehadburiedthedayshesentDonaldKeithaway。Whenthenotewasonitsway，shethrewoutallhermedicines，andbrokethenewsprayingapparatusHickshadinstructedhertobuy。
ShewentbacktotheRiviregime。Aweekpassed，andshewaslittlebetter。Twoweeks，andshebegantomend。Butitwassixweeksbeforethelasttracesofherfollydisappeared。Moldinisaidnotaword，gavenosign。Oncemoreherlifewentoninuneventful，unbrokenroutine——diet，exercise，singing——singing，exercise，diet——nodistractionsexceptanoccasionalvisittotheoperawithMoldini，andshewashatingoperanow。Allherenthusiasmwasgone。Shesimplyworkeddoggedly，drudged，slaved。
Whenthedaysbegantogrowwarm，Mrs。Bellocsaid：
``Isupposeyou’llsoonbeofftothecountry？AreyougoingtovisitMrs。Brindley？’’
``No，’’saidMildred。
``Thencomewithme。’’
``Thankyou，butIcan’tdoit。’’
``Butyou’vegottorestsomewhere。’’
``Rest？’’saidMildred。``WhyshouldIrest？’’
Mrs。Bellocstartedtoprotest，thenabruptlychanged。``Cometothinkofit，whyshouldyou？
You’reinperfecthealth，andit’llbetimeenoughtorestwhenyou`getthere。’’’
``I’mtiredthroughandthrough，’’saidMildred，``butitisn’tthekindoftiredthatcouldberestedexceptbythrowingupthisfrightfulnightmareofacareer。’’
``Andyoucan’tdothat。’’
``Iwon’t，’’saidMildred，herlipscompressedandhereyesnarrowed。
SheandMoldini——andfat，funnylittleMrs。Moldini——wenttothemountains。Andsheworkedon。Shewouldlistentononeofthesuggestionsaboutthedangersofkeepingtoosteadilyatit，aboutworkingoneselfintoastateofstaleness，abouttheimperativedemandsoftheartistictemperamentforrest，change，variety。``Itmaybeso，’’shesaidtoMrs。Brindley。
``ButI’vegonemad。Icannomoredropthisroutinethan——thanyoucouldtakeitupandkeeptoitforaweek。’’
``I’lladmitIcouldn’t，’’saidCyrilla。``AndMildred，you’remakingamistake。’’
``ThenI’llhavetosufferforit。Imustdowhatseemsbesttome。’’
``ButI’msureyou’rewrong。Ineverknewanyonetoactasyou’reacting。Everyonerestsandfreshensup。’’
Mildredlostpatience，almostlosthertemper。
``You’retryingtotemptmetoruinmyself，’’shesaid。
``Pleasestopit。YousayyouneverknewanyonetodoasI’mdoing。Verywell。Buthowmanygirlshaveyouknownwhohavesucceeded？’’
Cyrillahesitatinglyconfessedthatshehadknownnone。
``Yetyou’veknownscoreswho’vetried。’’
``Buttheydidn’tfailbecausetheydidn’tworkenough。
Manyofthemworkedtoomuch。’’
Mildredlaughed。``Howdoyouknowwhytheyfailed？’’saidshe。``Youhaven’tthoughtaboutitasIhave。Youhaven’tLIVEDit。Cyrilla，Iservedmyapprenticeshipatlisteningtononsenseaboutcareers。
Iwanttohavenothingtodowithinspiration，andartistictemperament，andspontaneousgenius，andalltherestofthelies。MoldiniandIknowwhatweareabout。SoI’mlivingasthosewhohavesucceededlivedandnotasthosewhohavefailed。’’
Cyrillawassilenced，butnotconvinced。TheamazingimprovementinMildred’shealth，thesplendidslimstrengthandsupplenessofherbody，thenewandstablegloriesofhervoice——allthesesheknewabout，buttheydidnotconvinceher。Shebelievedinwork，inhardwork，buttoherworkmeantthemusicitself。ShefeltthattheRivisystemandthedirty，obscurelittleMoldinibetweenthemweredestroyingMildredbydestroyingall``temperament’’inher。
Itwastheold，oldcriticismoftalentupongenius。
Geniushasalwayswoninitsowntimeandgenerationalltheworldexcepttalent。Totalentcontemporaneousgenius，geniusseenatitspatient，ploddingtoil，seemscoarseandobviousandlackingaltogetherininspiration。Talentcannotcomprehendthatcreationisnecessarilyintravailandinallmannerofunloveliness。
Mildredtoiledonlikeaslaveunderthelash，andMoldiniandtheRivisystemwerehertwinrelentlessdrivers。Shelearnedtoruleherselfwithanironhand。
Shediscoveredthefullmeasureofherowndeficiencies，andshedeterminedtomakeherselfacompetentlyricsoprano，perhapssomethingofadramaticsoprano。
Shedismissedfromhermindallthe``high’’thoughts，allthedreamswherewiththelittlepeople，eventhelittlepeoplewhoachieveacertainsuccess，beguilethetediumoftheirjourneyalongthehardroad。Shewasnotworkingto``interpretthethoughtofthegreatmaster’’orto``advancethesingingartyethigher’’oreventowinfameandapplause。Shehadoneobject——toearnherlivingonthegrandoperastage，andtoearnitasaprimadonnabecausethatmeantthebestliving。ShefranklytoldCyrillathatthiswasherobject，whenCyrillaforcedheronedaytotalkaboutheraims。Cyrillalookedpained，brokeamelancholysilencetosay：
``Iknowyoudon’tmeanthat。Youaretoointelligent。Yousingtoowell。’’
``Yes，Imeanjustthat，’’saidMildred。``Aliving。’’
``Atanyrate，don’tsayit。Yougivesuchafalseimpression。’’
``Towhom？NottoCrossley，andnottoMoldini，andwhyshouldIcarewhatanyothersthink？Theyarenotpayingmyexpenses。Andregardlessofwhattheythinknow，they’llbeatmyfeetifIsucceed，andthey’llputmeundertheirsifIdon’t。’’
``Howhardyouhavegrown，’’criedCyrilla。
``Howsensible，youmean。I’vemerelystoppedbeingaself-deceiverandasentimentalist。’’
``Believeme，mydear，youaresacrificingyourcharactertoyourambition。’’
``Ineverhadanyrealcharacteruntilambitioncame，’’
repliedMildred。``Thesoft，vacillating，sweetandweakthingIusedtohavewasn’tcharacter。’’
``But，dear，youcan’tthinkitsuperiorcharactertocenterone’swholelifeaboutasordidambition。’’
``Sordid？’’
``Merelytomakealiving。’’
Mildredlaughedmerrilyandmockingly。``Youcallthatsordid？Thenforheaven’ssakewhatishigh？
Youhadleftyoumoneyenoughtoliveon，ifyouhaveto。Nooneleftmeanincome。So，I’mfightingforindependence——andthatmeansforself-respect。Isself-respectsordid，Cyrilla！’’
AndthenCyrillaunderstood——inpart，notaltogether。
Shelivedintheordinaryenvironmentofflap-
doodleandsweethypocrisyandsentimentality。andnonesuchcanmorethanvaguelyglimpsetherealities。
TowardtheendofthesummerMoldinisaid：
``It’sover。Youhavewon。’’
Mildredlookedathiminpuzzledsurprise。
``Youhavelearneditall。Youwillsucceed。Therestisdetail。’’
``ButI’velearnednothingasyet，’’protestedshe。
``Youhavelearnedtoteachyourself，’’repliedtheItalian。``Youatlastcanhearyourselfsing，andyouknowwhenyousingrightandwhenyousingwrong，andyouknowhowtosingright。Therestiseasy。
Ah，mydearMissGower，youwillworkNOW！’’
Mildreddidnotunderstand。Shewasevendauntedbythat``YouwillworkNOW！’’Shehadbeenthinkingthattoworkharderwasimpossible。Whatdidheexpectofher？Somethingshefearedshecouldnotrealize。
Butsoonsheunderstood——whenhegavehersongs，thenbegantoteachherarole，thepartofMadameButterflyherself。``Icanhelpyouonlyalittlethere，’’
hesaid。``YouwillhavetogotomyfriendFerreriforroles。Butwecanmakeabeginning。’’
Shehadindeedwon。Shehadpassedfromthestagewhereacareerisalldrudgery——thestagethroughwhichonlythestrongcanpasswithoutgivingupandacceptingfailureorsmallsuccess。Shehadpassedtothestagewherethereisaddedpleasuretothedrudgery，for，thedrudgeryneverceases。Andwhatwasthepleasure？Why，morework——alwayswork——bringingintousenotmerelytheroutinepartsofthemind，butalsotheimaginativeandcreativefaculties。Shehadlearnedhertrade——notwellenough，fornosuperiormanorwomaneverfeelsthatheorsheknowsthetradewellenough——butwellenoughtobegintouseit。
SaidMoldini：``Whenthegreatone，whohasachievedandarrived，isaskedforadvicebythesweet，enthusiasticyoungbeginner，whatistheanswer？
Alwaysthesame：`Mydearchild，don’t！Gobackhome，andmarryandhavebabies。’Youknowwhynow？’’
AndMildred，lookingbackoverthedrearydrudgerythathadbeen，andlookingforwardtothedrudgeryyettocome，drearyenoughforalltheprospectsofafewflowersandalittlesun——Mildredsaid：``IndeedIdo，maestro。’’
``TheythinkitmeanswhatyouAmericanscallmorals——asifthatwereallofmorality！Butitdoesn’tmeanmorals。notatall。Sexandthegameofsexisallthroughlifeeverywhere——inthehomenolessthaninthetheater。Intownandcountry，indoorsandout，sunlight，moonlight，andrain——alwaysitgoeson。
Andthetemptationsandthestrugglesarenomoreandnolessonthestagethanoff。No，thereistoomuchtalkabout`morals。’Thereasonthegreatonesays`don’t’isthework。’’Heshookhisheadsadly。
``Theydonotrealize，thoseeageryoungbeginners。
Theyreadthestory-booksandthelivesofthegreatsuccessesandtheyhearthefoolishchatterofcommon-
placepeople——thoseimbecile`cultured’peoplewhoknownothing！Andtheythinkacareerisatriumphalmarch。Whatthinkyou，MissGower——eh？’’
``IfIhadknownI’dnothavehadthecourage，orthevanity，tobegin，’’saidshe。``AndifIcouldrealizewhat’sbeforeme，Iprobablyshouldn’thavethecouragetogoon。’’
``Butwhynot？Haven’tyoualsolearnedthatit’sjusttheday’swork，doingeverydaythebestyoucan？’’
``Oh，Ishallgoon，’’rejoinedshe。
``Yes，’’saidhe，lookingatherwithawedadmiration。
``Itisinyourface。Isawitthere，thedayyoucame——afteryousangthe`BattiBatti’thefirsttimeandfailed。’’
``Therewasnothingtomethen。’’
``Theseed，’’repliedhe。``AndIsawitwasanacorn，nottheseedofoneofthoseweakplantsthatspringupovernightandwitheratnoon。Yes，youwillwin。’’
Helaughedgayly，rolledhiseyesandkissedhisfingers。
``Andthenyoucanaffordtotakealittleholiday，andfallinlove。Love！Ah，itisajoyouspastime——
foraholiday。Onlyforaholiday，mindyou。IshallbethereandIshallseizeyouandtakeyoubacktoyourart。’’
InthefollowingwinterandsummerCrossleydisclosedwhyhehadbeensufficientlyinterestedingrandoperatobegintobackundevelopedvoices。Crossleywasoneofthosemenwhoareneversopracticalaswhentheyprofesstobe，andfancythemselves，impractical。
Hebecameagrand-operamanagerandorganizedforaseasonthatwouldsurpassininterestanyNewYorkhadknown。ThusitcameaboutthatonaMarchnightMildredmadeherdebut。
Theoperawas``Faust。’’Asthethreeprincipalmensingerswereallexpensive——thetenoralone，twelvehundredanight——CrossleyputinacomparativelymodestlysalariedMarguerite。Shewasseizedwithacoldatthelastmoment，andCrossleyventuredtosubstituteMildredGower。TheRivisystemwasstillinforce。Shewasready——indeed，shewasalwaysready，asRiviherselfhadbeen。Andwithintenminutesofhercomingforthfromthewings，MildredGowerhadleapedfromobscurityintofame。Ithappensso，ofteninthestorybooks，thenewlygloriouslyarrivedonehavingbeenwhollyunprepared，achievingbysheerforceofgenius。Itoccursso，occasionally，inlife——neverwhenthereislackofpreparation，neverbyforceofunassistedgenius，neverbyaccident。Mildredsucceededbecauseshehadgotreadytosucceed。Howcouldshehavefailed？
Perhapsyoureadthestoriesinthenewspapers——
howshehaddiscoveredherselfpossessedofamarvelousvoice，howshehaddecidedtouseitinpublic，howshehadcoachedforapart，hadappeared，hadbecomeoneoftheworld’sfewhundredgreatsingersallinasingleactofanopera。Youreadnothingaboutwhatshewentthroughindevelopingahopelesslyuncertainandfarfromstrongvoiceintoonewhich，whilenotnearlysogoodasthousandsofvoicesthataretriedandcastaside，yetsufficed，withherwillandherconcentrationbackofit，tocarryhertofame——andwealth。
Thatbirdlikevoice！Sosweetandspontaneous，sotrue，solikethebirdthat``singsofsummerinfullthroatedease！’’Nowondertheaudiencewelcomeditwithcheersoncheers。Greatervoicestheyhadheard，butnonemorenatural——andthatwasMoldini。
Hecametoherdressing-roomattheintermission。
Hestretchedouthisarms，butemotionovercamehim，andhedroppedtoachairandsobbedandcriedandlaughed。Shecameandputherarmsroundhimandkissedhim。Shewasalmostcalm。TheGREATfearhadseizedher——CanIkeepwhatIhavewon？
``Iamafool，’’criedMoldini。``Iwillagitateyou。’’
``Don’tbeafraidofthat，’’saidshe。``Iamnerv-
ous，yes，horriblynervous。ButyouhavetaughtmesothatIcouldsing，nomatterwhatwashappening。’’
Itwastrue。Andherbodywaslikeirontothetouch。
Helookedather，andthoughheknewherandhadseenhertrainherselfandhadhelpedinit，hemarveled。
``Youarehappy？’’hesaideagerly。``Surely——yes，youMUSTbehappy。’’
``Morethanthat，’’answeredshe。``You’llhavetofindanotherwordthanhappiness——somethingbiggerandstrongeranddeeper。’’
``Nowyoucanhaveyourholiday，’’laughedhe。
``But’’——withmocksternness——``inmoderation！Hemustbeanincidentonly。Withthosewhowinthehighplaces，sexisanincident——acharming，necessaryincident，butonlyanincident。Hemustnotspoilyourcareer。Ifyouallowedthatyouwouldbelikeamotherwhodesertsherchildrenforalover。Hemustnottouchyourcareer！’’
Mildred，givingthelasttouchestohercostumebeforetheglass，glancedmerrilyatMoldinibywayofit。
``Ifhedidtouchit，’’saidshe，``howlongdoyouthinkhewouldlastwithme？’’
Moldinipausedhalf-wayinhisnodofapproval，wasstrickenwithsilenceandsadness。Itwouldhavebeennaturalandproperforamanthustoputsexbeneaththecareer。Itwasnecessaryforanyonewhodevelopedthestrongcharacterthatcompelssuccessandholdsit。But——TheItaliancouldnotgetawayfromtradition。womanwasmadeforthepleasureofoneman，notforherselfandtheworld。
``Youdon’tlikethat，maestro？’’saidshe，stillobservinghimintheglass。
``Nomanwould，’’saidhe，withreturningcheerfulness。``Ithurtsman’svanity。Andnowomanwould，either。yourebuketheirlazinessandtheirdependence！’’
Shelaughedandrushedawaytofreshtriumphs。
End