Fortheheadmourner，achildofremarkablegifts，couldactuallymakethetearsrundownhercheeks，——asrealonesasifshehadbeenagrownpersonfollowingarichrelative，whohadnotforgottenhisconnections，tohislastunfurnishedlodgings。
Sothiswasamostdesirablefamilyconnectionfortherightmantostepinto，——athriving，thriftymother-in-law，whoknewwhatwasgoodforthesustenanceofthebody，andhadnodoubttaughtittoherdaughter。amedicalartistathandincasetheluxuriesofthetableshouldhappentodisturbthephysiologicalharmonies。andintheworstevent，asweetconsciousnessthatthelastsadofficeswouldbeattendedtowithaffectionatezeal，andprobablyalargediscountfromtheusualcharges。
ItseemsasifIcouldhardlybeatthistablefora：year，ifI
shouldstaysolong，withoutseeingsomeromanceorotherworkitselfoutundermyeyes。andIcannothelpthinkingthattheLandladyistobetheheroineofthelove-historyliketounfolditself。IthinkI
seethelittlecloudinthehorizon，withasilveryliningtoit，whichmayendinarainofcardstiedroundwithwhiteribbons。
Extremesmeet，andwhosoliketobetheotherpartyastheelderlygentlemanattheotherendofthetable，asfarfromhernowasthelengthoftheboardpermits？Imaybemistaken，butIthinkthisistobetheromanticepisodeoftheyearbeforeme。Onlyitseemssonaturalitisimprobable，foryouneverfindyourdroppedmoneyjustwhereyoulookforit，andsoitiswiththeseapriorimatches。
Thisgentlemanisatight，tidy，wirylittleman，withasmall，briskhead，close-croppedwhitehair，agoodwholesomecomplexion，aquiet，ratherkindlyface，quickinhismovements，neatinhisdress，butfondofwearingashortjacketoverhiscoat，whichgiveshimthelookofapickledorpreservedschoolboy。Hehasretired，theysay，fromathrivingbusiness，withasnugproperty，suspectedbysometoberathermorethansnug，andentitlinghimtobecalledacapitalist，exceptthatthiswordseemstobeequivalenttohighwayrobberinthenewgospelofSaintPetroleum。Thatheiseconomicalinhishabitscannotbedenied，forhesawsandsplitshisownwood，forexercise，hesays，——andmakeshisownfires，brusheshisownshoes，and，itiswhispered，darnsaholeinastockingnowandthen，——allforexercise，Isuppose。Everysummerhegoesoutoftownforafewweeks。Onagivendayofthemonthawagonstopsatthedoorandtakesup，nothistrunks，forhedoesnotindulgeinanysuchextravagance，butthestoutbrownlinenbagsinwhichhepacksthefewconvenienceshecarrieswithhim。
Idonotthinkthisworthyandeconomicalpersonagewillhavemuchtodoortosay，unlesshemarriestheLandlady。Ifhedoesthat，hewillplayapartofsomeimportance，——butIdon’tfeelsureatall。
Histalkislittleinamount，andgenerallyendsinsomecompactformulacondensingmuchwisdominfewwords，asthataman，shouldnotputallhiseggsinonebasket。thatthereareasgoodfishintheseaasevercameoutofit。andoneinparticular，whichhesurprisedmebysayinginprettygoodFrenchoneday，totheeffectthattheinheritanceoftheworldbelongstothephlegmaticpeople，whichseemstometohaveagooddealoftruthinit。
Theotherelderlypersonage，theoldmanwithiron-grayhairandlargeroundspectacles，sitsatmyrightattable。Heisaretiredcollegeofficer，amanofbooksandobservation，andhimselfanauthor。MagisterArtiumisoneofhistitlesontheCollegeCatalogue，andIlikebesttospeakofhimastheMaster，becausehehasacertainairofauthoritywhichnoneofusfeelinclinedtodispute。Hehasgivenmeacopyofaworkofhiswhichseemstomenotwantinginsuggestiveness，andwhichIhopeIshallbeabletomakesomeuseofinmyrecordsbyandby。Isaidtheotherdaythathehadgoodsolidprejudices，whichistrue，andIlikehimnonetheworseforit。buthehasalsoopinionsmoreorlessoriginal，valuable，probable，fanciful。fantastic，orwhimsical，perhaps，nowandthen。whichhepromulgatesattablesomewhatinthetoneofimperialedicts。AnotherthingIlikeabouthimis，thathetakesacertainintelligentinterestinprettymucheverythingthatinterestsotherpeople。Iaskedhimtheotherdaywhathethoughtmostaboutinhiswiderangeofstudies——
Sir，——saidhe，——Itakestockineverythingthatconcernsanybody。
Humaninihil，——youknowtherest。Butifyouaskmewhatismyspecialty，Ishouldsay，IappliedmyselfmoreparticularlytothecontemplationoftheOrderofThings——
Aprettywidesubject，——Iventuredtosuggest——
Notwideenough，sir，——notwideenoughtosatisfythedesireofamindwhichwantstogetatabsolutetruth，withoutreferencetotheempiricalarrangementsofourparticularplanetanditsenvironments。
Iwanttosubjecttheformalconditionsofspaceandtimetoanewanalysis，andprojectapossibleuniverseoutsideoftheOrderofThings。ButIhavenarrowedmyselfbystudyingtheactualfactsofbeing。Byandby——byandby——perhaps——perhaps。Ihopetodosomesoundthinkinginheaven——ifIevergetthere，——hesaidseriously，anditseemedtomenotirreverently——
Iratherlikethat，——Isaid。Ithinkyourtelescopicpeopleare，onthewhole，moresatisfactorythanyourmicroscopicones——
Myleft-handneighborfidgetedaboutalittleinhischairasI
saidthis。ButtheyoungmansittingnotfarfromtheLandlady，towhommyattentionhadbeenattractedbytheexpressionofhiseyes，whichseemedasiftheysawnothingbeforehim，butlookedbeyondeverything，smiledasortoffaintstarlightsmile，thattouchedmestrangely。foruntilthatmomenthehadappearedasifhisthoughtswerefaraway，andIhadbeenquestioningwhetherhehadlostfriendslately，orperhapshadneverhadthem，heseemedsoremotefromourboarding-houselife。Iwillinquireabouthim，forheinterestsme，andIthoughtheseemedinterestedasIwentontalking——
No，——Icontinued，——Idon’twanttohavetheterritoryofaman’smindfencedin。Idon’twanttoshutoutthemysteryofthestarsandtheawfulhollowthatholdsthem。Wehavedonewiththosehypaethraltemples，thatwereopenabovetotheheavens，butwecanhaveatticsandskylightstothem。Mindswithskylights，——yes，——
stop，letusseeifwecan’tgetsomethingoutofthat。
One-storyintellects，two——storyintellects，threestoryintellectswithskylights。Allfact——collectors，whohavenoaimbeyondtheirfacts，areone-storymen。Two-storymencompare，reason，generalize，usingthelaborsofthefact-collectorsaswellastheirown。Three-
storymenidealize，imagine，predict。theirbestilluminationcomesfromabove，throughtheskylight。Therearemindswithlargegroundfloors，thatcanstoreaninfiniteamountofknowledge。somelibrarians，forinstance，whoknowenoughofbookstohelpotherpeople，withoutbeingabletomakemuchotheruseoftheirknowledge，haveintellectsofthisclass。Yourgreatworkinglawyerhastwospaciousstories。hismindisclear，becausehismentalfloorsarelarge，andhehasroomtoarrangehisthoughtssothathecangetatthem，——factsbelow，principlesabove，andallinorderedseries。
poetsareoftennarrowbelow，incapableofclearstatement，andwithsmallpowerofconsecutivereasoning，butfulloflight，ifsometimesratherbareoffurniture，intheattics——
TheoldMastersmiled。Ithinkhesuspectshimselfofathree-
storyintellect，andIdon’tfeelsurethatheisn’tright——
Isitdarkmeatorwhitemeatyouwillbehelpedto？——saidtheLandlady，addressingtheMaster——
Darkmeatforme，always，——heanswered。Thenturningtome，hebeganoneofthosemonologuesofhis，suchasthatwhichputtheMemberoftheHaouseasleeptheotherday——
It’sprettymuchthesameinmenandwomenandinbooksandeverything，thatitisinturkeysandchickens。Why，takeyourpoets，now，sayBrowningandTennyson。Don’tyouthinkyoucansaywhichisthedark-meatandwhichisthewhite-meatpoet？Andsoofthepeopleyouknow。can’tyoupickoutthefull-flavored，coarse-
fibredcharactersfromthedelicate，fine-fibredones？Andinthesameperson，don’tyouknowthesametwoshadesindifferentpartsofthecharacterthatyoufindinthewingandthighofapartridge？I
supposeyoupoetsmaylikewhitemeatbest，veryprobably。youhadratherhaveawingthanadrumstick，Idaresay——
Why，yes，——saidI，——Isupposesomeofusdo。Perhapsitisbecauseabirdflieswithhiswhite-fleshedlimbsandwalkswiththedark-
fleshedones。Besides，thewing-musclesarenearertheheartthantheleg-muscles。
Ithoughtthatsoundedmightypretty，andpausedamomenttopatmyselfontheback，asismywontwhenIsaysomethingthatIthinkofsuperiorquality。SoIlostmyinnings。fortheMasterisapttostrikeinattheendofabar，insteadofwaitingforarest，ifI
mayborrowamusicalphrase。Nomatter，justatthismoment，whathesaid。buthetalkedtheMemberoftheHaouseasleepagain。
TheyhaveanewtermnowadaysIamspeakingtoyou，theReaderforpeoplethatdoagooddealoftalking。theycallthemconversationists，orconversationalists。talkists，Isuppose，woulddojustaswell。Itisratherdangeroustogetthenameofbeingoneofthesephenomenalmanifestations，asoneisexpectedtosaysomethingremarkableeverytimeoneopensone’smouthincompany。
Itseemshardnottobeabletoaskforapieceofbreadoratumblerofwater，withoutasensationrunningroundthetable，asifonewereanelectriceeloratorpedo，andcouldn’tbetouchedwithoutgivingashock。Afellowisn’tallbattery，ishe？TheideathataGymnotuscan’tswallowhiswormwithoutacoruscationofanimallightningishardonthatbrilliantbutsensationalbeing。Goodtalkisnotamatterofwillatall。itdepends——youknowweareallhalf-
materialistsnowadays——onacertainamountofactivecongestionofthebrain，andthatcomeswhenitisready，andnotbefore。Isawamangetuptheotherdayinapleasantcompany，andtalkawayforaboutfiveminutes，evidentlybyapureeffortofwill。Hispersonwasgood，hisvoicewaspleasant，butanybodycouldseethatitwasallmechanicallabor。hewassparringforwind，astheHon。JohnMorrissey，M。C。，wouldexpresshimself。Presently，——
Doyou，——Beloved，Iamafraidyouarenotoldenough，——butdoyourememberthedaysofthetintinder-box，theflint，andsteel？
Click！click！click！——Al-h-h！knucklesthattime！click！click！
CLICK！asparkhastaken，andiseatingintotheblacktinder，asasix-year-oldeatsintoasheetofgingerbread。
Presently，afterhammeringawayforhisfiveminuteswithmerewords，thesparkofahappyexpressiontooksomewhereamongthementalcombustibles，andthenfortenminuteswehadapretty，wandering，scintillatingplayofeloquentthought，thatenlivened，ifitdidnotkindle，allaroundit。Ifyouwanttherealphilosophyofit，Iwillgiveittoyou。Thechancethoughtorexpressionstruckthenervouscentreofconsciousness，astherowelofaspurstingstheflankofaracer。Awaythroughallthetelegraphicradiationsofthenervouscordsflashedtheintelligencethatthebrainwaskindling，andmustbefedwithsomethingorother，oritwouldburnitselftoashes。
Andallthegreathydraulicenginespouredintheirscarletblood，andthefirekindled，andtheflamerose。forthebloodisastreamthat，likeburningrock-oil，atoncekindles，andisitselfthefuel。
Youcan’tordertheseorganicprocesses，anymorethanamillinercanmakearose。Shecanmakesomethingthatlookslikearose，moreorless，butittakesalltheforcesoftheuniversetofinishandsweetenthatblossominyourbutton-hole。andyoumaybesurethatwhentheorator’sbrainisinaflame，whenthepoet’sheartisinatumult，itissomethingmightierthanheandhiswillthatisdealingwithhim！AsIhavelookedfromoneofthenorthernwindowsofthestreetwhichcommandsournobleestuary，——theviewthroughwhichisapictureonanillimitablecanvasandapoemininnumerablecantos，——I
havesometimesseenapleasure-boatdriftingalong，hersailflapping，andsheseemingasifshehadneitherwillnoraim。Athersternamanwaslaboringtobringherheadroundwithanoar，tolittlepurpose，asitseemedtothosewhowatchedhimpullingandtugging。Butallatoncethewindofheaven，whichhadwanderedallthewayfromFloridaorfromLabrador，itmaybe，struckfulluponthesail，anditswelledandroundeditself，likeawhitebosomthathadburstitsbodice，and——
Youareright。itistootrue！buthowIlovetheseprettyphrases！IamafraidIambecominganepicureinwords，whichisabadthingtobe，unlessitisdominatedbysomethinginfinitelybetterthanitself。Butthereisafascinationinthemeresoundofarticulatedbreath。ofconsonantsthatresistwiththefirmnessofamaidofhonor，orhalforwhollyyieldtothewooinglips。ofvowelsthatflowandmurmur，eachafteritskind。theperemptorybandp，thebrittlek，thevibratingr，theinsinuatings，thefeatheryf，thevelvetyv，thebell-voicedm，thetranquilbroada，thepenetratinge，thecooingu，theemotionalo，andthebeautifulcombinationsofalternaterockandstream，asitwere，thattheygivetotheripplingflowofspeech，——thereisafascinationintheskilfulhandlingofthese，whichthegreatpoetsandevenprose-
writershavenotdisdainedtoacknowledgeandusetorecommendtheirthought。WhatdoyousaytothislineofHomerasapieceofpoeticalfull-bandmusic？IknowyoureadtheGreekcharacterswithperfectease，butpermitme，justformyownsatisfaction，toputitintoEnglishletters：——
Aiglepamphanoosadi’aitherosouranonike！
asifheshouldhavespokeninourpoorerphraseofSplendorfarshiningthroughethertoheavenascending。
ThatGreekline，whichIdonotrememberhavingheardmentionofasremarkable，hasnearlyeveryconsonantalandvowelsoundinthelanguage。TryitbytheGreekandbytheEnglishalphabet。itisacuriosity。TellmethatoldHomerdidnotrollhissightlesseyeballsaboutwithdelight，ashethunderedouttheseringingsyllables！Itseemshardtothinkofhisgoingroundlikeahand-
organman，withsuchmusicandsuchthoughtashistoearnhisbreadwith。Onecan’thelpwishingthatMr。Pughcouldhavegotathimforasinglelecture，atleast，oftheStarCourse，orthathecouldhaveappearedintheMusicHall，forthisnightonly——
IknowIhaverambled，butIhopeyouseethatthisisadelicatewayoflettingyouintothenatureoftheindividualwhois，officially，theprincipalpersonageatourtable。Itwouldhardlydotodescribehimdirectly，youknow。Butyoumustnotthink，becausethelightningzigzags，itdoesnotknowwheretostrike。
Ishalltrytogothroughtherestofmydescriptionofourboarderswithaslittleofdigressionasisconsistentwithmynature。I
thinkwehaveasomewhatexceptionalcompany。SinceourLandladyhasgotupintheworld，herboardhasbeendecidedlyafavoritewithpersonsalittleabovetheaverageinpointofintelligenceandeducation。Infact，eversinceaboarderofhers，notwhollyunknowntothereadingpublic，broughtherestablishmentintonotice，ithasattractedaconsiderablenumberofliteraryandscientificpeople，andnowandthenapolitician，liketheMemberoftheHouseofRepresentatives，otherwisecalledtheGreatandGeneralCourtoftheStateofMassachusetts。Theconsequenceis，thatthereismoreindividualityofcharacterthaninagoodmanysimilarboardinghouses，whereallarebusiness-men，engrossedinthesamepursuitofmoney-making，orallareengagedinpolitics，andsodeeplyoccupiedwiththewelfareofthecommunitythattheycanthinkandtalkoflittleelse。
Atmylefthandsitsassingular-lookingahumanbeingasIrememberseeingoutsideofaregularmuseumortent-show。Hisblackcoatshinesasifithadbeenpolished。andithasbeenpolishedonthewearer’sback，nodoubt，forthearmsandotherpointsofmaximumattritionareparticularlysmoothandbright。Roundshoulders，——
stoopingoversomeminutelabor，Isuppose。Veryslenderlimbs，withbendslikeagrasshopper’s。sitsagreatdeal，Ipresume。looksasifhemightstraightenthemoutallofasudden，andjumpinsteadofwalking。Wearsgogglesverycommonly。saysitrestshiseyes，whichhestrainsinlookingatverysmallobjects。Voicehasadrycreak，asifmadebysomesmallpieceofmechanismthatwantedoiling。I
don’tthinkheisabotanist，forhedoesnotsmellofdriedherbs，butcarriesacamphoratedatmosphereaboutwithhim，asiftokeepthemothsfromattackinghim。Imustfindoutwhatishisparticularinterest。Oneoughttoknowsomethingabouthisimmediateneighborsatthetable。ThisiswhatIsaidtomyself，beforeopeningaconversationwithhim。Everybodyinourwardofthecitywasinagreatstiraboutacertainelection，andIthoughtImightaswellbeginwiththatasanything——
Howdoyouthinkthevoteislikelytogotomorrow？——Isaid——
Itisn’tto-morrow，——heanswered，——it’snextmonth——
Nextmonth！——saidI——Why，whatelectiondoyoumean？——
ImeantheelectiontothePresidencyoftheEntomologicalSociety，sir，——hecreaked，withanairofsurprise，asifnobodycouldbyanypossibilityhavebeenthinkingofanyother。Greatcompetition，sir，betweenthedipteristsandthelepidopteristsastowhichshallgetintheircandidate。Severalcloseballotingsalready。adjournedforafortnight。Poorconcerns，bothof’em。Waittillourturncomes——
Isupposeyouareanentomologist？——Isaidwithanoteofinterrogation-
Notquitesoambitiousasthat，sir。Ishouldliketoputmyeyesontheindividualentitledtothatname！AsocietymaycallitselfanEntomologicalSociety，butthemanwhoarrogatessuchabroadtitleasthattohimself，inthepresentstateofscience，isapretender，sir，adilettante，animpostor！Nomancanbetrulycalledanentomologist，sir。thesubjectistoovastforanysinglehumanintelligencetograsp——
MayIventuretoask，——Isaid，alittleawedbyhisstatementandmanner，——whatisyourspecialprovinceofstudy？
IamoftenspokenofasaColeopterist，——hesaid，——butIhavenorighttosocomprehensiveaname。ThegenusScarabaeusiswhatI
havechieflyconfinedmyselfto，andoughttohavestudiedexclusively。Thebeetlesproper，arequiteenoughforthelaborofoneman’slife。CallmeaScarabaeistifyouwill。ifIcanprovemyselfworthyofthatname，myhighestambitionwillbemorethansatisfied。
Ithink，bywayofcompromiseandconvenience，IshallcallhimtheScarabee。Hehascometolookwonderfullylikethosecreatures，——thebeetles，Imean，——bybeingsomuchamongthem。Hisroomishungroundwithcasesofthem，eachimpaledonapindriventhroughhim，somethingastheyusedtoburysuicides。Thesecasestaketheplaceforhimofpicturesandallotherornaments。ThatBoystealsintohisroomsometimes，andstaresatthemwithgreatadmiration，andhashimselfundertakentoformarivalcabinet，chieflyconsistingofflies，sofar，arrangedinrankssuperintendedbyanoccasionalspider。
TheoldMaster，whoisabachelor，hasakindlyfeelingforthislittlemonkey，andthoseofhiskind——
Ilikechildren，——hesaidtomeonedayattable，——Ilike’em，andIrespect’em。Prettymuchallthehonesttruth-tellingthereisintheworldisdonebythem。Doyouknowtheyplaythepartinthehouseholdwhichtheking’sjester，whoveryoftenhadamightylongheadunderhiscapandbells，usedtoplayforamonarch？There’snoradicalclublikeanestoflittlefolksinanursery。Didyoueverwatchababy’sfingers？Ihave，oftenenough，thoughIneverknewwhatitwastoownone——TheMasterpausedhalfaminuteorso，——sighed，——perhapsatthinkingwhathehadmissedinlife，——lookedupatmealittlevacantly。Isawwhatwasthematter。hehadlostthethreadofhistalk——
Baby’sfingers，——Iintercalated-
Yes，yes。didyoueverseehowtheywillpokethosewonderfullittlefingersoftheirsintoeveryfoldandcrackandcrevicetheycangetat？Thatistheirfirsteducation，feelingtheirwayintothesolidfactsofthematerialworld。Whentheybegintotalkitisthesamethingoveragaininanothershape。Ifthereisacrackoraflawinyouranswertotheirconfoundedshoulder-hittingquestions，theywillpokeandpokeuntiltheyhavegotitgapingjustasthebaby’sfingershavemadearentoutofthatatomofaholeinhispinaforethatyouroldeyesnevertooknoticeof。Thentheymakesuchfoolsofusbycopyingonasmallscalewhatwedointhegrandmanner。I
wonderifiteveroccurstoourdried-upneighbortheretoaskhimselfwhetherThatBoy’scollectionoffliesisn’taboutassignificantintheOrderofThingsashisownMuseumofBeetles？——
Icouldn’thelpthinkingthatperhapsThatBoy’squestionsaboutthesimplermysteriesoflifemighthaveagooddealofthesamekindofsignificanceastheMaster’sinquiriesintotheOrderofThings——
Onmyleft，beyondmynextneighbortheScarabee，attheendofthetable，sitsapersonofwhomweknowlittle，exceptthathecarriesabouthimmorepalpablereminiscencesoftobaccoandthealliedsourcesofcomfortthanaverysensitiveorganizationmightfindacceptable。TheMasterdoesnotseemtolikehimmuch，forsomereasonorother，——perhapshehasaspecialaversiontotheodoroftobacco。Ashisforefingershowsalittletoodistinctlythatheusesapen，IshallcomplimenthimbycallinghimtheManofLetters，untilIfindoutmoreabouthim——
TheYoungGirlwhositsonmyright，nextbeyondtheMaster，canhardlybemorethannineteenortwentyyearsold。IwishIcouldpainthersoastointerestothersasmuchasshedoesme。Butshehasnotaprofusionofsunnytresseswreathinganeckofalabaster，andacheekwheretheroseandthelilyaretryingtosettletheiroldquarrelwithalternatingvictory。Herhairisbrown，hercheekisdelicatelypallid，herforeheadistooampleforaball-roombeauty’s。Asinglefaintlinebetweentheeyebrowsistherecordoflong——continuedanxiouseffortstopleaseinthetaskshehaschosen，orratherwhichhasbeenforceduponher。ItisthesamelineofanxiousandconscientiouseffortwhichIsawnotlongsinceontheforeheadofoneofthesweetestandtruestsingerswhohasvisitedus。thesamewhichissostrikingonthemasksofsingingwomenpainteduponthefacadeofourGreatOrgan，——thatHimalayanhomeofharmonywhichyouaretoseeandthendie，ifyoudon’tlivewhereyoucanseeandhearitoften。Manydeathshavehappenedinaneighboringlargecityfromthatwell-knowncomplaint，IcterusInvidiosorum，afterreturningfromavisittotheMusicHall。TheinvariablesymptomofafatalattackistheRisusSardonicus——ButtheYoungGirl。Shegetsherlivingbywritingstoriesforanewspaper。Everyweekshefurnishesanewstory。Ifherheadachesorherheartisheavy，sothatshedoesnotcometotimewithherstory，shefallsbehindhandandhastoliveoncredit。Itsoundswellenoughtosaythatshesupportsherselfbyherpen，butherlotisatryingone。itrepeatsthedoomoftheDanaides。TheWeeklyBuckethasnobottom，anditisherbusinesstohelpfillit。Imagineforonemomentwhatitistotellatalethatmustflowon，flowever，withoutpausing。thelovermiserableandhappythisweek，tobeginmiserableagainnextweekandendasbefore。thevillainscowling，plotting，punished。toscowl，plot，andgetpunishedagaininournext。anendlessseriesofwoesandbusses，intoeachparagraphofwhichtheforlornartisthastothrowalltheliveliness，alltheemotion，allthegracesofstylesheismistressof，forthewagesofamaidofallwork，andnomorerecognitionorthanksfromanybodythantheapprenticewhosetsthetypesforthepaperthatprintsherever-endingandever-beginningstories。Andyetshehasaprettytalent，sensibility，anaturalwayofwriting，anearforthemusicofverse，inwhichshesometimesindulgestovarythedeadmonotonyofeverlastingnarrative，andasufficientamountofinventiontomakeherstoriesreadable。Ihavefoundmyeyesdimmedoverthemoftenerthanonce，morewiththinkingabouther，perhaps，thanaboutherheroesandheroines。Poorlittlebody！
Poorlittlemind！Poorlittlesoul！Sheisoneofthatgreatcompanyofdelicate，intelligent，emotionalyoungcreatures，whoarewaiting，likethatsailIspokeof，forsomebreathofheaventofilltheirwhitebosoms，——love，therightofeverywoman。religiousemotion，sisteroflove，withthesamepassionateeyes，butcold，thin，bloodlesshands，——someenthusiasmofhumanityordivinity。andfindthatlifeoffersthem，instead，aseatonawoodenbench，achaintofastenthemtoit，andaheavyoartopulldayandnight。
WereadtheArabiantalesandpitythedoomedladywhomustamuseherlordandmasterfromdaytodayorhaveherheadcutoff。howmuchbetterisamouthwithoutbreadtofillitthannomouthatalltofill，becausenohead？Wehaveallroundusaweary-eyedcompanyofScheherezades！Thisisoneofthem，andImaycallherbythatnamewhenitpleasesmetodoso。
ThenextboarderIhavetomentionistheonewhositsbetweentheYoungGirlandtheLandlady。Inalittlechamberintowhichasmallthreadofsunshinefindsitswayforhalfanhourorsoeverydayduringamonthorsixweeksofthespringorautumn，atallothertimesobligedtocontentitselfwithungildeddaylight，livesthisboarder，whom，withoutwronginganyothersofourcompany，Imaycall，assheisverygenerallycalledinthehousehold，TheLady。Ingivingherthisnameitisnotmeantthattherearenootherladiesatourtable，orthatthehandmaidswhoserveusarenotladies，ortodenythegeneralpropositionthateverybodywhowearstheunbifurcatedgarmentisentitledtothatappellation。Onlythisladyhasalookandmannerwhichthereisnomistakingasbelongingtoapersonalwaysaccustomedtorefinedandelegantsociety。Herstyleisperhapsalittlemorecourtlyandgraciousthansomewouldlike。
Thelanguageandmannerwhichbetraythehabitualdesireofpleasing，andwhichaddacharmtointercourseinthehighersocialcircles，areliabletobeconstruedbysensitivebeingsunusedtosuchamenitiesasanodiouscondescensionwhenaddressedtopersonsoflessconsiderationthantheaccused，andasastillmoreodious——youknowtheword——whendirectedtothosewhoareesteemedbytheworldasconsiderablepersonages。Butofallthistheaccusedarefortunatelywhollyunconscious，forthereisnothingsoentirelynaturalandunaffectedasthehighestbreeding。
>Fromanaspectofdignifiedbutundisguisedeconomywhichshoweditselfinherdressaswellasinherlimitedquarters，Isuspectedastoryofshipwreckedfortune，anddeterminedtoquestionourLandlady。Thatworthywomanwasdelightedtotellthehistoryofhermostdistinguishedboarder。Shewas，asIhadsupposed，agentlewomanwhomachangeofcircumstanceshadbroughtdownfromherhighestate——
DidIknowtheGoldenrodfamily？——OfcourseIdid——Well，theLady，wasfirstcousintoMrs。MidasGoldenrod。Shehadbeenhereinhercarriagetocalluponher，——notveryoften——Wereherrichrelationskindandhelpfultoher？——Well，yes。atleasttheymadeherpresentsnowandthen。Threeorfouryearsagotheysentherasilverwaiter，andeveryChristmastheysentheraboquet，——itmustcostasmuchasfivedollars，theLandladythought——
AndhowdidtheLadyreceivethesevaluableandusefulgifts？——
EveryChristmasshegotoutthesilverwaiterandborrowedaglasstumblerandfilleditwithwater，andputtheboquetinitandsetitonthewaiter。Itsmeltsweetenoughandlookedprettyforadayortwo，buttheLandladythoughtitwouldn’thavehurt’emifthey’dsentapieceofgoodsforadress，oratleastapocket-handkercherortwo，orsomethingorotherthatshecould’a’madesomekindofuseof。butbeggarsmustn’tbechoosers。notthatshewasabeggar，forshe’dsoonerdiethandothatifshewasinwantofamealofvictuals。TherewasaladyIremember，andshehadalittleboyandshewasawidow，andaftershe’dburiedherhusbandshewasdreadfulpoor，andshewasashamedtoletherlittleboygooutinhisoldshoes，andcopper-toedshoestheywastoo，becausehispoorlittleten——toes——wasacomingoutof’em。andwhatdoyouthinkmyhusband’srichuncle，——well，therenow，itwasmeandmylittleBenjamin，ashewasthen，there’snouseinhidingofit，——andwhatdoyouthinkmyhusband’sunclesentmebutaplasterofParisimageofayoungwoman，thatwas，——well，herappearancewasn’trespectable，andIhadtotakeandwrapherupinatowelandpokeherrightintomycloset，andthereshestayedtillshegotherheadbrokeandservedherright，forshewasn’tfittoshowfolks。Youneedn’tsayanythingaboutwhatItoldyou，butthefactisIwasdesperatepoorbeforeIbegantosupportmyselftakingboarders，andalonewomanwithouther——her——
Thesentenceplungedintothegulfofhergreatrememberedsorrow，andwaslosttotherecordsofhumanity——
Presentlyshecontinuedinanswertomyquestions：TheLadywasnotverysociable。keptmostlytoherself。TheYoungGirlourScheherezadeusedtovisithersometimes，andtheyseemedtolikeeachother，buttheYoungGirlhadnotmanysparehoursforvisiting。
TheLadyneverfoundfault，butshewasveryniceinhertastes，andkepteverythingaboutherlookingasneatandpleasantasshecould——
Whatdidshedo？——Why，sheread，andshedrewpictures，andshedidneedleworkpatterns，andplayedonanoldharpshehad。thegiltwasmostlyoff，butitsoundedverysweet，andshesungtoitsometimes，thoseoldsongsthatusedtobeinfashiontwentyorthirtyyearsago，withwordsto’emthatfolkscouldunderstand。
Didshedoanythingtohelpsupportherself？——TheLandladycouldn’tsayshedid，butshethoughttherewasrichpeopleenoughthatoughttobuytheflowersandthingssheworkedandpainted。
Allthispointstothefactthatshewasbredtobeanornamentalratherthanwhatiscalledausefulmemberofsociety。Thisisallverywellsolongasfortunefavorsthosewhoarechosentobetheornamentalpersonages。butifthegoldentiderecedesandleavesthemstranded，theyaremoretobepitiedthanalmostanyotherclass。I
cannotdig，tobegIamashamed。
Ithinkitisunpopularinthiscountrytotalkmuchaboutgentlemenandgentlewomen。Peoplearetouchyaboutsocialdistinctions，whichnodoubtareofteninvidiousandquitearbitraryandaccidental，butwhichitisimpossibletoavoidrecognizingasfactsofnaturalhistory。Societystratifiesitselfeverywhere，andthestratumwhichisgenerallyrecognizedastheuppermostwillbeapttohavetheadvantageineasygraceofmannerandinunassumingconfidence，andconsequentlybemoreagreeableinthesuperficialrelationsoflife。
Tocomparetheseadvantageswiththevirtuesandutilitieswouldbefoolish。Muchofthenoblestworkinlifeisdonebyill-dressed，awkward，ungainlypersons。butthatisnomorereasonforundervaluinggoodmannersandwhatwecallhigh-breeding，thanthefactthatthebestpartofthesturdylaboroftheworldisdonebymenwithexceptionablehandsistobeurgedagainsttheuseofBrownWindsorasapreliminarytoappearanceincultivatedsociety。
Imeantostandupforthispoorlady，whoseusefulnessintheworldisapparentlyproblematical。Sheseemstomelikeapicturewhichhasfallenfromitsgildedframeandlies，facedownward，onthedustyfloor。Thepictureneverwasasneedfulasawindoworadoor，butitwaspleasanttoseeitinitsplace，anditwouldbepleasanttoseeitthereagain，andI，forone，shouldbethankfultohavetheLadyrestoredbysometurnoffortunetothepositionfromwhichshehasbeensocruellycastdown——
IhaveaskedtheLandladyabouttheyoungmansittingnearher，thesamewhoattractedmyattentiontheotherdaywhileIwastalking，asImentioned。Hepassesmostofhistimeinaprivateobservatory，itappears。awatcherofthestars。ThatIsupposegivesthepeculiarlooktohislustrouseyes。TheMasterknowshimandwaspleasedtotellmesomethingabouthim。
YoucallyourselfaPoet，——hesaid，——andwecallyouso，too，andsoyouare。Ireadyourversesandlike’em。Butthatyoungmanlivesinaworldbeyondtheimaginationofpoets，letmetellyou。Thedailyhomeofhisthoughtisinillimitablespace，hoveringbetweenthetwoeternities。Inhiscontemplationsthedivisionsoftimeruntogether，asinthethoughtofhisMaker。Withhimalso，——Isayitnotprofanely，——onedayisasathousandyearsandathousandyearsasoneday。
Thisaccountofhisoccupationincreasedtheinteresthislookhadexcitedinme，andIhaveobservedhimmoreparticularlyandfoundoutmoreabouthim。Sometimes，afteralongnight’swatching，helookssopaleandworn，thatonewouldthinkthecoldmoonlighthadstrickenhimwithsomemaligneffluencesuchasitisfabledtosenduponthosewhosleepinit。Atsuchtimesheseemsmorelikeonewhohascomefromaplanetfartherawayfromthesunthanourearth，thanlikeoneofusterrestrialcreatures。Hishomeistrulyintheheavens，andhepractisesanasceticisminthecauseofsciencealmostcomparabletothatofSaintSimeonStylites。Yettheytellmehemightliveinluxuryifhespentonhimselfwhathespendsonscience。Hisknowledgeisofthatstrange，remotecharacter，thatitseemssometimesalmostsuperhuman。Heknowstheridgesandchasmsofthemoonasasurveyorknowsagarden-plothehasmeasured。HewatchesthesnowsthatgatheraroundthepolesofMars。heisonthelookoutfortheexpectedcometatthemomentwhenitsfaintstainofdiffusedlightfirstshowsitself。heanalyzestheraythatcomesfromthesun’sphotosphere。hemeasurestheringsofSaturn。hecountshisasteroidstoseethatnonearemissing，astheshepherdcountsthesheepinhisflock。Astrangeunearthlybeing。lonely，dwellingfarapartfromthethoughtsandcaresoftheplanetonwhichhelives，——anenthusiastwhogiveshislifetoknowledge。astudentofantiquity，towhomtherecordsofthegeologistaremodernpagesinthegreatvolumeofbeing，andthepyramidsamemorandumofyesterday，astheeclipseoroccultationthatistotakeplacethousandsofyearshenceisaneventofto-morrowinthediarywithoutbeginningandwithoutendwhereheenterstheaspectofthepassingmomentasitisreadonthecelestialdial。
Inverymarkedcontrastwiththisyoungmanisthesomethingmorethanmiddle-agedRegisterofDeeds，arusty，sallow，smoke-driedlookingpersonage，whobelongstothisearthasexclusivelyastheotherbelongstothefirmament。Hismovementsareasmechanicalasthoseofapendulum，——totheoffice，wherehechangeshiscoatandplungesintomessuagesandbuilding-lots。then，afterchanginghiscoatagain，backtoourtable，andso，daybyday，thedustofyearsgraduallygatheringaroundhimasitdoesontheoldfoliosthatfilltheshelvesallroundthegreatcemeteryofpasttransactionsofwhichheisthesexton。
OftheSalesmanwhositsnexthim，nothingneedbesaidexceptthatheisgood-looking，rosy，well-dressed，andofverypolitemanners，onlyalittlemorebriskthantheapprovedstyleofcarriagepermits，asoneinthehabitofspringingwithacertainalacrityatthecallofacustomer。
Youwouldliketosee，Idon’tdoubt，howwesitatthetable，andI
willhelpyoubymeansofadiagramwhichshowsthepresentarrangementofourseats。
43211413——
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5OBreakfast-TableO12
OOOOOO——
67891011
1。ThePoet。
2。TheMasterOfArts。
3。TheYoungGirlScheherezade。
4。TheLady。
5。TheLandlady。
6。Dr。B。Franklin。
7。ThatBoy。
8。TheAstronomer。
9。TheMemberoftheHaouse。
10。TheRegisterofDeeds。
11。TheSalesman。
12。TheCapitalist。
13。TheManofLetters？。
14。TheScarabee。
OuryoungScheherezadevariesherprosestoriesnowandthen，asI
toldyou，withcompositionsinverse，oneortwoofwhichshehasletmelookover。Hereisoneofthem，whichsheallowedmetocopy。Itisfromastoryofhers，TheSun-Worshipper’sDaughter，whichyoumayfindintheperiodicalbeforementioned，towhichsheisacontributor，ifyourcanlayyourhanduponafileofit。IthinkourScheherezadehasneverhadaloverinhumanshape，orshewouldnotplaysolightlywiththefirebrandsofthegreatpassion。
FANTASIA。
Kissmineeyelids，beauteousMorn，Blushingintolifenew-born！
Lendmevioletsformyhair，Andthyrussetrobetowear，AndthyringofrosiesthueSetindropsofdiamonddew！
Kissmycheek，thounoontideray，>FrommyLovesofaraway！
LetthysplendorstreamingdownTurnitspallidliliesbrown，TillitsdarkeningshadesrevealWherehispassionpresseditsseal！
Kissmylips，thouLordoflight，Kissmylipsasoftgoodnight！
Westwardsinksthygoldencar。
Leavemebuttheeveningstar，Andmysolacethatshallbe，Borrowingallitslightfromthee！
III
TheoldMasterwastalkingaboutaconcerthehadbeentohear——
Idon’tlikeyourchoppedmusicanyway。Thatwoman——shehadmoresenseinherlittlefingerthanfortymedicalsocieties——FlorenceNightingale——saysthatthemusicyoupouroutisgoodforsickfolks，andthemusicyoupoundoutisn’t。Notthatexactly，butsomethinglikeit。Ihavebeentohearsomemusic-pounding。Itwasayoungwoman，withasmanywhitemuslinflouncesroundherastheplanetSaturnhasrings，thatdidit。She——gavethemusic-stoolatwirlortwoandfluffeddownontoitlikeawhirlofsoap-sudsinahand-
basin。Thenshepusheduphercuffsasifshewasgoingtofightforthechampion’sbelt。Thensheworkedherwristsandherhands，tolimber’em，Isuppose，andspreadoutherfingerstilltheylookedasthoughtheywouldprettymuchcoverthekey-board，fromthegrowlingendtothelittlesqueakyone。Thenthosetwohandsofhersmadeajumpatthekeysasiftheywereacoupleoftigerscomingdownonaflockofblackandwhitesheep，andthepianogaveagreathowlasifitstailhadbeentrodon。Deadstop，——sostillyoucouldhearyourhairgrowing。Thenanotherjump，andanotherhowl，asifthepianohadtwotailsandyouhadtrodonbothof’ematonce，and，thenagrandclatterandscrambleandstringofjumps，upanddown，backandforward，onehandovertheother，likeastampedeofratsandmicemorethanlikeanythingIcallmusic。Iliketohearawomansing，andIliketohearafiddlesing，butthesenoisestheyhammeroutoftheirwoodandivoryanvils——don’ttalktome，IknowthedifferencebetweenabullfrogandawoodthrushandPop！wentasmallpieceofartillerysuchasismadeofastickofelderandcarriesapelletofverymoderateconsistency。ThatBoywasinhisseatandlookingdemureenough，buttherecouldbenoquestionthathewastheartillery-manwhohaddischargedthemissile。Theaimwasnotabadone，forittooktheMasterfullintheforehead，andhadtheeffectofcheckingtheflowofhiseloquence。HowthelittlemonkeyhadlearnedtotimehisinterruptionsIdonotknow，butIhaveobservedmorethanoncebeforethis，thatthepopgunwouldgooffjustatthemomentwhensomeoneofthecompanywasgettingtooenergeticorprolix。TheBoyisn’toldenoughtojudgeforhimselfwhentointervenetochangetheorderofconversation。no，ofcourseheisn’t。Somebodymustgivehimahint。Somebody——Whoisit？IsuspectDr。B。Franklin。Helookstooknowing。Thereiscertainlyatricksomewhere。Why，adayortwoagoIwasmyselfdiscoursing，withconsiderableeffect，asI
thought，onsomeofthenewaspectsofhumanity，whenIwasstruckfullonthecheekbyoneoftheselittlepellets，andtherewassuchaconfoundedlaughthatIhadtowindupandleaveoffwithaprepositioninsteadofagoodmouthfulofpolysyllables。IhavewatchedouryoungDoctor，however，andhavebeenentirelyunabletodetectanysignsofcommunicationbetweenhimandthisaudaciouschild，whoisliketobecomeapoweramongus，forthatpopgunisfataltoanytalkerwhoishitbyitspellet。Ihavesuspectedafootunderthetableastheprompter，butIhavebeenunabletodetecttheslightestmovementorlookasifheweremakingone，onthepartofDr。BenjaminFranklin。IcannothelpthinkingoftheflappersinSwift’sLaputa，onlytheygaveoneahintwhentospeakandanotherahinttolisten，whereasthepopgunsaysunmistakably，Shutup！——
IshouldbesorrytolosemyconfidenceinDr。B。Franklin，whoseemsverymuchdevotedtohisbusiness，andwhomImeantoconsultaboutsomesmallsymptomsIhavehadlately。Perhapsitiscomingtoanewboarding-house。TheyoungpeoplewhocomeintoParisfromtheprovincesareveryapt——soIhavebeentoldbyonethatknows——tohaveanattackoftyphoidfeverafewweeksormonthsaftertheirarrival。Ihavenotbeenlongenoughatthistabletogetwellacclimated。perhapsthatisit。Boarding-HouseFever。Somethinglikehorse-ail，verylikely，——horsesgetit，youknow，whentheyarebroughttocitystables。Alittleoffmyfeed，asHiramWoodruffwouldsay。Aqueerdiscolorationaboutmyforehead。Query，abump？
Cannotrememberany。Mighthavegotitagainstbedpostorsomethingwhileasleep。Veryunpleasanttolookso。Iwonderhowmyportraitwouldlook，ifanybodyshouldtakeitnow！IhopenotquitesobadlyasoneIsawtheotherday，whichItookfortheendmanoftheEthiopianSerenaders，orsometravellerwhohadbeenexploringthesourcesoftheNiger，untilIreadthenameatthebottomandfounditwasafaceIknewaswellasmyown。
Imustconsultsomebody，anditisnothingmorethanfairtogiveouryoungDoctorachance。HeregoesforDr。BenjaminFranklin。
TheyoungDoctorhasaverysmallofficeandaverylargesign，withatransparencyatnightbigenoughforanoyster-shop。Theseyoungdoctorsareparticularlystrong，asIunderstand，onwhattheycalldiagnosis，——anexcellentbranchofthehealingart，fullofsatisfactiontothecuriouspractitioner，wholikestogivetherightLatinnametoone’scomplaint。notquitesosatisfactorytothepatient，asitisnotsoverymuchpleasantertobebittenbyadogwithacollarroundhisnecktellingyouthatheiscalledSnaporTeaser，thanbyadogwithoutacollar。Sometimes，infact，onewouldalittlerathernotknowtheexactnameofhiscomplaint，asifhedoesheisprettysuretolookitoutinamedicaldictionary，andthenifhereads，Thisterriblediseaseisattendedwithvastsufferingandisinevitablymortal，oranysuchstatement，itisapttoaffecthimunpleasantly。
IconfesstoalittleshakinesswhenIknockedatDr。Benjamin’sofficedoor。Comein！exclaimedDr。B。F。intonesthatsoundedominousandsepulchral。AndIwentin。
Idon’tbelievethechambersoftheInquisitioneverpresentedamorealarmingarrayofimplementsforextractingaconfession，thanouryoungDoctor’sofficedidofinstrumentstomakenaturetellwhatwasthematterwithapoorbody。
TherewereOphthalmoscopesandRhinoscopesandOtoscopesandLaryngoscopesandStethoscopes。andThermometersandSpirometersandDynamometersandSphygmometersandPleximeters。andProbesandProbangsandallsortsoffrightfulinquisitiveexploringcontrivances。andscalestoweighyouin，andtestsandbalancesandpumpsandelectro-magnetsandmagneto-electricmachines。inshort，apparatusfordoingeverythingbutturnyouinsideout。
Dr。Benjaminsetmedownbeforehisonewindowandbeganlookingatmewithsuchasuperhumanairofsagacity，thatIfeltlikeoneofthoseopen-breastedclockswhichmakenosecretoftheirinsidearrangements，andalmostthoughthecouldseethroughmeasoneseesthroughashrimporajelly-fish。Firsthelookedattheplaceinculpated，whichhadasortofgreenish-browncolor，withhisnakedeyes，withmuchcorrugationofforeheadandfearfulconcentrationofattention。thenthroughapocket-glasswhichhecarried。Thenhedrewbackaspace，foraperspectiveview。Thenhemademeputoutmytongueandlaidaslipofbluepaperonit，whichturnedredandscaredmealittle。Nexthetookmywrist。butinsteadofcountingmypulseintheold-fashionedway，hefastenedamachinetoitthatmarkedallthebeatsonasheetofpaper，——foralltheworldlikeascaleoftheheightsofmountains，sayfromMountTomuptoChimborazoandthendownagain，andupagain，andsoon。Inthemeantimeheaskedmeallsortsofquestionsaboutmyselfandallmyrelatives，whetherwehadbeensubjecttothisandthatmalady，untilIfeltasifwemustsomeofushavehadmoreorlessofthem，andcouldnotfeelquitesurewhetherElephantiasisandBeriberiandProgressiveLocomotorAtaxydidnotruninthefamily。
Afterallthisoverhaulingofmyselfandmyhistory，hepausedandlookedpuzzled。Somethingwassuggestedaboutwhathecalledanexploratorypuncture。ThisIatoncedeclined，withthanks。
Suddenlyathoughtstruckhim。HelookedstillmorecloselyatthediscolorationIhavespokenof——
Lookslike——Ideclareitremindsmeof——veryrare！verycurious！
Itwouldbestrangeifmyfirstcase——ofthiskind——shouldbeoneofourboarders！
Whatkindofacasedoyoucallit？——Isaid，withasortoffeelingthathecouldinflictasevereoralightmaladyonme，asifhewereajudgepassingsentence——
Thecolorremindsme，——saidDr。B。Franklin，——ofwhatIhaveseeninacaseofAddison’sDisease，MorbusAddisonii——
Butmyhabitsarequiteregular，——Isaid。forIrememberedthatthedistinguishedessayistwastoofondofhisbrandyandwater，andI
confessthatthethoughtwasnotpleasanttomeoffollowingDr。
Johnson’sadvice，withtheslightvariationofgivingmydaysandmynightstotryingonthefavoritemaladiesofAddison——
Temperancepeoplearesubjecttoit！——exclaimedDr。Benjamin，almostexultingly，Ithought——
ButIhadtheimpressionthattheauthoroftheSpectatorwasafflictedwithadropsy，orsomesuchinflatedmalady，towhichpersonsofsedentaryandbibacioushabitsareliable。[Aliteraryswell，——Ithoughttomyself，butIdidnotsayit。Ifelttooserious。]——
TheauthoroftheSpectator！——criedoutDr。Benjamin，——ImeanthecelebratedDr。Addison，inventor，Iwouldsaydiscoverer，ofthewonderfulnewdiseasecalledafterhim——
Andwhatmaythisvaluableinventionordiscoveryconsistin？——I
asked，forIwascurioustoknowthenatureofthegiftwhichthisbenefactoroftheracehadbestoweduponus——
Amostinterestingaffection，andrare，too。Allowmetolookcloselyatthatdiscolorationoncemoreforamoment。Cutiscenea，bronzeskin，theycallitsometimes——extraordinarypigmentation——alittlemoretothelight，ifyouplease——ah！nowIgetthebronzecoloringadmirably，beautifully！WouldyouhaveanyobjectiontoshowingyourcasetotheSocietiesofMedicalImprovementandMedicalObservation？
[——Mycase！Odear！]MayIaskifanyvitalorganiscommonlyinvolvedinthisinterestingcomplaint？——Isaid，faintly——
Well，sir，——theyoungDoctorreplied，——thereisanorganwhichis——
sometimes——alittletouched，Imaysay。averycuriousandingeniouslittleorganorpairoforgans。DidyoueverhearoftheCapsulae，Suprarenales？——
No，——saidI，——isitamortalcomplaint？——Ioughttohaveknownbetterthantoasksuchaquestion，butIwasgettingnervousandthinkingaboutallsortsofhorridmaladiespeopleareliableto，withhorridnamestomatch——
Itisn’tacomplaint，——Imeantheyarenotacomplaint，——theyaretwosmallorgans，asIsaid，insideofyou，andnobodyknowswhatistheuseofthem。Themostcuriousthingisthatwhenanythingisthematterwiththemyouturnofthecolorofbronze。Afterall，I
didn’tmeantosayIbelieveditwasMorbusAddisonii。IonlythoughtofthatwhenIsawthediscoloration。
Sohegavemearecipe，whichItookcaretoputwhereitcoulddonohurttoanybody，andIpaidhimhisfeewhichhetookwiththeairofamaninthereceiptofagreatincomeandsaidGood-morning——
Whatinthenameofathousanddiablosisthereasontheseconfoundeddoctorswillmentiontheirguessesaboutacase，astheycallit，andallitsconceivablepossibilities，outloudbeforetheirpatients？Idon’tsupposethereisanythinginallthisnonsenseaboutAddison’sDisease，butIwishhehadn’tspokenofthatveryinterestingailment，andIshouldfeelalittleeasierifthatdiscolorationwouldleavemyforehead。IwillasktheLandladyaboutit，——theseoldwomenoftenknowmorethantheyoungdoctorsjustcomehomewithlongnamesforeverythingtheydon’tknowhowtocure。Butthenameofthiscomplaintsetsmethinking。Bronzedskin！Whatanoddidea！Wonderifitspreadsalloverone。Thatwouldbepicturesqueandpleasant，now，wouldn’tit？Tobemadealivingstatueof，——nothingtodobutstrikeanattitude。Armup——so——liketheoneintheGarden。JohnofBologna’sMercury——thusononefoot。
Needyknife-grinderintheTribuneatFlorence。No，notneedy，
cometothinkofit。MarcusAureliusonhorseback。Query。ArehorsessubjecttotheMorbusAddisonii？Advertiseforabronzedlivinghorse——Lyceuminvitationsandengagements——bronzeversusbrass——What’stheuseinbeingfrightened？Betitwasabump。
PrettycertainIbumpedmyforeheadagainstsomething。Neverheardofabronzedmanbefore。Haveseenwhitemen，blackmen，redmen，yellowmen，twoorthreebluemen，stainedwithdoctor’sstuff。somegreenones，fromthecountry。butneverabronzedman。Poh，poh！
Sureitwasabump。AskLandladytolookatit——
Landladydidlookatit。Saiditwasabump，andnomistake。
Recommendedapieceofbrownpaperdippedinvinegar。MadethehousesmellasifitwereinquarantinefortheplaguefromSmyrna，butdiscolorationsoondisappeared，——soIdidnotbecomeabronzedmanafterall，——hopeInevershallwhileIamalive。Shouldn’tmindbeingdoneinbronzeafterIwasdead。Onsecondthoughtsnotsoclearaboutit，rememberinghowsomeofthemlookthatwehavegotstuckupinpublic。thinkIhadrathergodowntoposterityinanEthiopianMinstrelportrait，likeourfriend’stheotherday——
Youwerekindenoughtosay，IremarkedtotheMaster，thatyoureadmypoemsandlikedthem。Perhapsyouwouldbegoodenoughtotellmewhatitisyoulikeaboutthem？
TheMasterharpoonedabreakfast-rollandhelditupbeforeme——Willyoutellme，——hesaid，——whyyoulikethatbreakfast-roll？——Isupposehethoughtthatwouldstopmymouthintwosenses。Buthewasmistaken——
TobesureIwill，——saidI——First，Ilikeitsmechanicalconsistency。brittleexternally，——thatisfortheteeth，whichwantresistancetobeovercome。soft，spongy，welltemperedandflavoredinternally，thatisfortheorganoftaste。wholesome，nutritious，——
thatisfortheinternalsurfacesandthesystemgenerally——
Good，——saidtheMaster，andlaughedaheartyterrestriallaugh。
Ihopehewillcarrythatfacultyofanhonestlaughwithhimwhereverhegoes，——whyshouldn’the？Theorderofthings，ashecallsit，fromwhichhilaritywasexcluded，wouldbecrippledandone-sidedenough。Idon’tbelievethehumangamutwillbecheatedofasinglenoteaftermenhavedonebreathingthisfatalatmosphericmixtureanddieintotheetherofimmortality！
Ididn’tsayallthat。ifIhadsaidit，itwouldhavebroughtapelletfromthepopgun，Ifeelquitecertain。
TheMasterwentonafterhehadhadouthislaugh——ThereisonethingIamHisImperialMajestyabout，andthatismylikesanddislikes。WhatifIdolikeyourverses，——youcan’thelpyourself。
Idon’tdoubtsomebodyorotherhates’emandhatesyouandeverythingyoudo，oreverdid，orevercando。Heisallright。
thereisnothingyouorIlikethatsomebodydoesn’thate。Wasthereeveranythingwholesomethatwasnotpoisontosomebody？Ifyouhatehoneyorcheese，ortheproductsofthedairy，——Iknowafamilyagoodmanyofwhosememberscan’ttouchmilk，butter，cheese，andthelike，why，sayso，butdon’tfindfaultwiththebeesandthecows。Someareafraidofroses，andIhaveknownthosewhothoughtapond-lilyadisagreeableneighbor。ThatBoywillgiveyouthemetaphysicsoflikesanddislikes。Lookhere，——youyoungphilosopheroverthere，——doyoulikecandy？
ThatBoy——Youbet！GivemeastickandseeifIdon’t。
Andcanyoutellmewhyyoulikecandy？
ThatBoy——BecauseIdo——
There，now，thatisthewholematterinanutshell。Whydoyourteethlikecracklingcrust，andyourorgansoftastelikespongycrumb，andyourdigestivecontrivancestakekindlytobreadratherthantoadstools——
ThatBoythinkinghewasstillbeingcatechised——Becausetheydo。
WhereupontheLandladysaid，Sh！andtheYoungGirllaughed，andtheLadysmiled。andDr。BenFranklinkickedhim，moderately，underthetable，andtheAstronomerlookedupattheceilingtoseewhathadhappened，andtheMemberoftheHaousecried，Order！Order！andtheSalesmansaid，Shutup，cash-boy！andtherestoftheboarderskeptonfeeding。excepttheMaster，wholookedveryhardbuthalfapprovinglyatthesmallintruder，whohadcomeaboutasnearlyrightasmostprofessorswouldhavedone——
Youpoets，——theMastersaidafterthisexcitementhadcalmeddown，——youpoetshaveonethingaboutyouthatisodd。Youtalkabouteverythingasifyouknewmoreaboutitthanthepeoplewhosebusinessitistoknowallaboutit。Isupposeyoudoalittleofwhatweteachersusedtocallcrammingnowandthen？——
Ifyoulikeyourbreakfastyoumustn’taskthecooktoomanyquestions，——Ianswered——
Oh，comenow，don’tbeafraidoflettingoutyoursecrets。IhaveanotionIcantellapoetthatgetshimselfupjustasIcantellamake-believeoldmanonthestagebythelinewherethegrayskullcapjoinsthesmoothforeheadoftheyoungfellowofseventy。You’llconfesstoarhymingdictionaryanyhow，won’tyou？——
Iwouldasliefusethatasanyotherdictionary，butIdon’twantit。WhenawordcomesupfittoendalinewithIcanfeelalltherhymesinthelanguagethatarefittogowithitwithoutnamingthem。Ihavetriedthemallsomanytimes，Iknowallthepolygamouswordsandallthemonogamousones，andalltheunmarryingones，——thewholelotthathavenomates，——assoonasIheartheirnamescalled。
SometimesIrunoverastringofrhymes，butgenerallyspeakingitisstrangewhatashortlistitisofthosethataregoodforanything。
Thatisthepitifulsideofallrhymedverse。Taketwosuchwordsashomeandworld。Whatcanyoudowithchromeorloamorgnomeortome？Youhavedome，foam，androam，andnotmuchmoretouseinyourpome，assomeofourfellow-countrymencallit。Asforworld，youknowthatinallhumanprobabilitysomebodyorsomethingwillbehurledintoitoroutofit。itscloudsmaybefurledoritsgrassimpearled。possiblysomethingmaybewhirled，orcurled，orhaveswirled，oneofLeighHunt’swords，whichwithlush，oneofKeats’s，isanimportantpartofthestockintradeofsomedealersinrhyme——
Andhowmuchdoyouversifiersknowofallthoseartsandsciencesyourefertoasifyouwereasfamiliarwiththemasacobbleriswithhiswaxandlapstone？——
Enoughnottomaketoomanymistakes。Thebestwayistoasksomeexpertbeforeoneriskshimselfveryfarinillustrationsfromabranchhedoesnotknowmuchabout。Suppose，forinstance，Iwantedtousethedoublestartoillustrateanything，saytherelationoftwohumansoulstoeachother，whatwouldI——do？Why，Iwouldaskouryoungfriendtheretoletmelookatoneofthoselovingcelestialpairsthroughhistelescope，andIdon’tdoubthe’dletmedoso，andtellmetheirnamesandallIwantedtoknowaboutthem——
Ishouldbemosthappytoshowanyofthedoublestarsorwhateverelsetheremightbetoseeintheheavenstoanyofourfriendsatthistable，——theyoungmansaid，socordiallyandkindlythatitwasarealinvitation——
Showusthemaninthemoon，——saidThatBoy——Ishouldsoliketoseeadoublestar！——saidScheherezade，withaveryprettyairofsmilingmodesty——
Willyougo，ifwemakeupaparty？——IaskedtheMaster——
Acoldintheheadlastsmefromthreetofivedays，——answeredtheMaster——IamnotsoveryfondofbeingoutinthedewlikeNebuchadnezzar：thatwilldoforyouyoungfolks——
IsupposeImustbeoneoftheyoungfolks，notsoyoungasourScheherezade，norsooldastheCapitalist，——youngenoughatanyratetowanttobeoftheparty。SoweagreedthatonsomefairnightwhentheAstronomershouldtellusthattherewastobeafineshowintheskies，wewouldmakeupapartyandgototheObservatory。I
askedtheScarabeewhetherhewouldnotliketomakeoneofus——
Outofthequestion，sir，outofthequestion。Iamaltogethertoomuchoccupiedwithanimportantscientificinvestigationtodevoteanyconsiderablepartofaneveningtostar-gazing——
Oh，indeed，——saidI，——andmayIventuretoaskonwhatparticularpointyouareengagedjustatpresent？-
Certainly，sir，youmay。Itis，Isuppose，asdifficultandimportantamattertobeinvestigatedasoftencomesbeforeastudentofnaturalhistory。IwishtosettlethepointonceforallwhetherthePediculusMellitaeisorisnotthelarvaofMeloe。
[——Nowisn’tthisthedrollestworldtoliveinthatonecouldimagine，shortofbeinginafitofdeliriumtremens？Hereisafellow-creatureofmineandyourswhoisaskedtoseeallthegloriesofthefirmamentbroughtclosetohim，andheistoobusywithalittleunmentionableparasitethatinfeststhebristlysurfaceofabeetospareanhourortwoofasingleeveningforthesplendorsoftheuniverse！Imustgetapeepthroughthatmicroscopeofhisandseethepediculuswhichoccupiesalargerspaceinhismentalvisionthanthemidnightmarchofthesolarsystems——Thecreature，thehumanone，Imean，interestsme。]——
Iamverycurious，——Isaid，——aboutthatpediculusmelittae，——justasifIknewagooddealaboutthelittlewretchandwantedtoknowmore，whereasIhadneverheardhimspokenofbefore，tomyknowledge，——couldyouletmehaveasightofhiminyourmicroscope？——
Yououghttohaveseenthewayinwhichthepoordried-uplittleScarabeeturnedtowardsme。Hiseyestookonareallyhumanlook，andIalmostthoughtthoseantennae-likearmsofhiswouldhavestretchedthemselvesoutandembracedme。Idon’tbelieveanyoftheboardershadevershownanyinterestin——him，exceptthelittlemonkeyofaBoy，sincehehadbeeninthehouse。Itisnotstrange。
hehadnotseemedtomemuchlikeahumanbeing，untilallatonceI
touchedtheonepointwherehisvitalityhadconcentrateditself，andhestoodrevealedamanandabrother——
Comein，——saidhe，——comein，rightafterbreakfast，andyoushallseetheanimalthathasconvulsedtheentomologicalworldwithquestionsastohisnatureandorigin——
SoIwentintotheScarabee’sparlor，lodging-room，study，laboratory，andmuseum，——a——singleapartmentappliedtothesevarioususes，youunderstand——
IwishIhadtimetohaveyoushowmeallyourtreasures，——Isaid，——butIamafraidIshallhardlybeabletodomorethanlookatthebee-parasite。Butwhatasuperbbutterflyyouhaveinthatcase！——
Oh，yes，yes，wellenough，——camefromSouthAmericawiththebeetlethere。lookathim！TheseLepidopteraareforchildrentoplaywith，prettytolookat，sosomethink。GivemetheColeoptera，andthekingsoftheColeopteraarethebeetles！LepidopteraandNeuropteraforlittlefolks。Coleopterasformen，sir！——
Theparticularbeetleheshowedmeinthecasewiththemagnificentbutterflywasanodiousblackwretchthatonewouldsay，Ugh！at，andkickoutofhispath，ifhedidnotservehimworsethanthat。Buthelookedatitasacoin-collectorwouldlookataPescenniusNiger，ifthecoinsofthatEmperorareasscarceastheyusedtobewhenI
wascollectinghalf-pennytokensandpine-treeshillingsandbatteredbitsofRomanbrasswiththeheadofGallienusorsomesucholdfellowonthem——
Abeauty！——heexclaimed，——andtheonlyspecimenofthekindinthiscountry，tothebestofmybelief。Aunique，sir，andthereisapleasureinexclusivepossession。NotanotherbeetlelikethatshortofSouthAmerica，sir——
Iwasgladtohearthattherewerenomorelikeitinthisneighborhood，thepresentsupplyofcockroachesansweringeverypurpose，sofarasIamconcerned，thatsuchananimalasthiswouldbelikelytoserve——
Herearemybee-parasites，——saidtheScarabee，showingmeaboxfullofglassslides，eachwithaspecimenreadymountedforthemicroscope。Iwasmoststruckwithonelittlebeastflattenedoutlikeaturtle，semi-transparent，six-legged，asIrememberhim，andeverylegterminatedbyasingleclawhookedlikealion’sandasformidableforthesizeofthecreatureasthatoftheroyalbeast——
Livesonabumblebee，doeshe？——Isaid。That’sthewayIcallit。
Bumblebeeorbumblybeeandhuckleberry。HumblebeeandwhortleberryforpeoplethatsayWoos-ses-terandNor-wich——
TheScarabeedidnotsmile。hetooknointerestintrivialmatterslikethis——
Livesonabumblebee。Whenyoucometothinkofit，hemustleadapleasantkindoflife。Sailsthroughtheairwithoutthetroubleofflying。Freepasseverywherethatthebeegoes。Nofearofbeingdislodged。lookatthosesixgrappling-hooks。Helpshimselftosuchjuicesofthebeeashelikesbest。thebeefeedsonthechoicestvegetablenectars，andhefeedsonthebee。Liveseitherintheairorintheperfumedpavilionofthefairestandsweetestflowers。
Thinkwhattentsthehollyhocksandthegreatliliesspreadforhim！
Andwhereverhetravelsabandofmusicgoeswithhim，forthishumwhichwandersbyusisdoubtlesstohimavastandinspiringstrainofmelody——Ithoughtallthis，whiletheScarabeesupposedIwasstudyingtheminutecharactersoftheenigmaticalspecimen——
IknowwhatIconsideryourpediculusmelittae，Isaidatlength。
Doyouthinkitreallythelarvaofmeloe？——
Oh，Idon’tknowmuchaboutthat，butIthinkheisthebestcaredfor，onthewhole，ofanyanimalthatIknowof。andifIwasn’tamanIbelieveIhadratherbethatlittlesybaritethananythingthatfeastsattheboardofnature——
Thequestionis，whetherheisthelarvaofmeloe，——theScarabeesaid，asifhehadnotheardawordofwhatIhadjustbeensaying——
IfIliveafewyearslongeritshallbesettled，sir。andifmyepitaphcansayhonestlythatIsettledit，Ishallbewillingtotrustmyposthumousfametothatachievement。
Isaidgoodmorningtothespecialist，andwentofffeelingnotonlykindly，butrespectfullytowardshim。Heisanenthusiast，atanyrate，asearnestamanasanyphilanthropicreformerwho，havingpassedhislifeinworryingpeopleoutoftheirmisdoingsintogoodbehavior，comesatlasttoastateinwhichheisnevercontentedexceptwhenheismakingsomebodyuncomfortable。Hedoescertainlyknowonethingwell，verylikelybetterthananybodyintheworld。
Ifindmyselfsomewhatsingularlyplacedatourtablebetweenaminutephilosopherwhohasconcentratedallhisfacultiesonasinglesubject，andmyfriendwhofindsthepresentuniversetoorestrictedforhisintelligence。IwouldnotgivemuchtohearwhattheScarabeesaysabouttheoldMaster，forhedoesnotpretendtoformajudgmentofanythingbutbeetles，butIshouldliketohearwhattheMasterhastosayabouttheScarabee。Iwaitedafterbreakfastuntilhehadgone，andthenaskedtheMasterwhathecouldmakeofourdried-upfriend——
Well，——hesaid，——Iamhospitableenoughinmyfeelingstohimandallhistribe。Thesespecialistsarethecoral-insectsthatbuildupareef。Byandbyitwillbeanisland，andforaughtweknowmaygrowintoacontinent。ButIdon’twanttobeacoral-insectmyself。
Ihadratherbeavoyagerthatvisitsallthereefsandislandsthecreaturesbuild，andsailsovertheseaswheretheyhaveasyetbuiltupnothing。Iamalittleafraidthatscienceisbreedingusdowntoofastintocoral-insects。AmanlikeNewtonorLeibnitzorHallerusedtopaintapictureofoutwardorinwardnaturewithafreehand，andstandbackandlookatitasawholeandfeellikeanarchangel。
butnowadaysyouhaveaSociety，andtheycometogetherandmakeagreatmosaic，eachmanbringinghislittlebitandstickingitinitsplace，butsotakenupwithhispettyfragmentthatheneverthinksoflookingatthepicturethelittlebitsmakewhentheyareputtogether。Youcan’tgetanytalkoutofthesespecialistsawayfromtheirownsubjects，anymorethanyoucangethelpfromapolicemanoutsideofhisownbeat——
Yes，——saidI，——butwhyshouldn’twealwayssetamantalkingaboutthethingheknowsbest？——
Nodoubt，nodoubt，ifyoumeethimonce。butwhatareyougoingtodowithhimifyoumeethimeveryday？Itravelwithamanandwewanttomakechangeveryofteninpayingbills。ButeverytimeIaskhimtochangeapistareen，orgivemetwofo’pencehappenniesforaninepence，orhelpmetomakeouttwoandthrippencemarktheoldMaster’sarchaismsaboutthecurrency，whatdoesthefellowdobutputhishandinhispocketandpulloutanoldRomancoin。Ihavenochange，sayshe，butthisassarionofDiocletian。Mightydealofgoodthat’lldome！——
Itisn’tquitesohandyasafewspecimensofthemoderncurrencywouldbe，butyoucanpumphimonnumismatics——
Tobesure，tobesure。I’vepumpedathousandmenofalltheycouldteachme，oratleastallIcouldlearnfrom’em。andifitcomestothat，Ineversawthemanthatcouldn’tteachmesomething。
Icangetalongwitheverybodyinhisplace，thoughIthinktheplaceofsomeofmyfriendsisoverthereamongthefeeble-mindedpupils，andIdon’tbelievethere’soneofthem，Icouldn’tgotoschooltoforhalfanhourandbethewiserforit。Butpeopleyoutalkwitheverydayhavegottohavefeedersfortheirminds，asmuchasthestreamthatturnsamillwheelhas。Itisn’tonelittlerillthat’sgoingtokeepthefloat-boardsturninground。Takeadozenofthebrightestmenyoucanfindinthebrightestcity，whereverthatmaybe，——perhapsyouandIthinkweknow，——andlet’emcometogetheronceamonth，andyou’llfindoutinthecourseofayearortwotheonesthathavefeedersfromallthehillsides。Yourcommontalkers，thatexchangethegossipoftheday，havenowheelinparticulartoturn，andthewashoftherainasitrunsdownthestreetisenoughforthem——
Doyoumeanyoucanalwaysseethesourcesfromwhichamanfillshismind，——hisfeeders，asyoucallthem？-
Idon’tgoquitesofarasthat，——theMastersaid——I’veseenmenwhosemindswerealwaysoverflowing，andyettheydidn’treadmuchnorgomuchintotheworld。Sometimesyou’llfindabitofapond-
holeinapasture，andyou’llplungeyourwalking-stickintoitandthinkyouaregoingtotouchbottom。Butyoufindyouaremistaken。
Someoftheselittlestagnantpond-holesareagooddealdeeperthanyouthink。youmaytieastonetoabed-cordandnotgetsoundingsinsomeof’em。Thecountryboyswilltellyoutheyhavenobottom，butthatonlymeansthattheyaremightydeep。andsoagoodmanystagnant，stupid-seemingpeopleareagreatdealdeeperthanthelengthofyourintellectualwalking-stick，Icantellyou。Therearehiddenspringsthatkeepthelittlepond-holesfullwhenthemountainbrooksarealldriedup。Youpoetsoughttoknowthat——
Ican’thelpthinkingyouaremoretoleranttowardsthespecialiststhanIthoughtatfirst，bythewayyouseemedtolookatourdried-
upneighborandhissmallpursuits——
Idon’tlikethewordtolerant，——theMastersaid——AslongastheLordcantoleratemeIthinkIcanstandmyfellow-creatures。
Philosophically，Ilove’emall。empirically，Idon’tthinkIamveryfondofallof’em。Itdependsonhowyoulookatamanorawoman。
Comehere，Youngster，willyou？hesaidtoThatBoy。
TheBoywastryingtocatchablue-bottletoaddtohiscollection，andwasindisposedtogiveupthechase。buthepresentlysawthattheMasterhadtakenoutasmallcoinandlaiditonthetable，andfelthimselfdrawninthatdirection。
Readthat，——saidtheMaster。
U-n-i-niUnitedStatesofAmerica5cents。
TheMasterturnedthecoinover。Nowreadthat。
InGodisourt-r-u-s-t——trust。1869——
Isthatthesamepieceofmoneyastheotherone？——
Thereain’tanyotherone，——saidtheBoy，thereain’tbutone，butit’sgottwosidestoitwithdifferentreading——
That’sit，that’sit，——saidtheMaster，——twosidestoeverybody，astherearetothatpieceofmoney。I’veseenanoldwomanthatwouldn’tfetchfivecentsifyoushouldputherupforsaleatpublicauction。andyetcometoreadtheothersideofher，shehadatrustinGodAlmightythatwaslikethebowanchorofathree-decker。It’sfaithinsomethingandenthusiasmforsomethingthatmakesalifeworthlookingat。Idon’tthinkyourant-eatingspecialist，withhissharpnoseandpin-headeyes，isthebestevery-daycompanion。butanymanwhoknowsonethingwellisworthlisteningtoforonce。andifyouareofthelarge-brainedvarietyoftherace，andwanttofilloutyourprogrammeoftheOrderofThingsinasystematicandexhaustiveway，andgetallthehalf-notesandflatsandsharpsofhumanityintoyourscale，you’dagreatdealbettershutyourfrontdoorandopenyourtwosideoneswhenyoucomeacrossafellowthathasmadearealbusinessofdoinganything——
ThatBoystoodallthistimelookinghardatthefive-centpiece——
Takeit，——saidtheMaster，withagood-naturedsmile——
TheBoymadeasnatchatitandwasoffforthepurposeofinvestingit——
Achildnaturallysnapsatathingasadogdoesathismeat，——saidtheMaster——Ifyouthinkofit，we’veallbeenquadrupeds。Achildthatcanonlycrawlhasalltheinstinctsofafour-footedbeast。Itcarriesthingsinitsmouthjustascatsanddogsdo。I’veseenthelittlebrutesdoitoverandoveragain。Isupposeagoodmanychildrenwouldstayquadrupedsalltheirlives，iftheydidn’tlearnthetrickofwalkingontheirhindlegsfromseeingallthegrownpeoplewalkinginthatway——
DoyouacceptMr。Darwin’snotionsabouttheoriginoftherace？——
saidI。