Mr。Pickwickmadenoreply，but，pushingtheletteracrossthetable，anddesiringMr。Tupmantoreaditaloud，fellbackinhischairwithalookofvacantastonishmentquitealarmingtobehold。
Mr。Tupman，withatremblingvoice，readtheletter，ofwhichthefollowingisacopy：——Freeman’sCourt，Cornhill，August28th，1830。BardellagainstPickwick。Sir，HavingbeeninstructedbyMrs。MarthaBardelltocommenceanactionagainstyouforabreachofpromiseofmarriage，forwhichtheplaintifflaysherdamagesatfifteenhundredpounds，webegtoinformyouthatawrithasbeenissuedagainstyouinthissuitintheCourtofCommonPleas。
andrequesttoknow，byreturnofpost，thenameofyourattorneyinLondon，whowillacceptservicethereof。
Weare，Sir，Yourobedientservants，DodsonandFogg。
Mr。SamuelPickwick。
Therewassomethingsoimpressiveinthemuteastonishmentwithwhicheachmanregardedhisneighbour，andeverymanregardedMr。Pickwick，thatallseemedafraidtospeak。ThesilencewasatlengthbrokenbyMr。Tupman。
DodsonandFogg，herepeatedmechanically。
BardellandPickwick，saidMr。Snodgrass，musing。
Peaceofmindandhappinessofconfidingfemales，murmuredMr。winkle，withanairofabstraction。
It’saconspiracy，saidMr。Pickwick，atlengthrecoveringthepowerofspeech。abaseconspiracybetweenthesetwograspingattorneys，DodsonandFogg。Mrs。Bardellwouldneverdoit——shehasn’tthehearttodoit——shehasn’tthecasetodoit。Ridiculous——ridiculous。
Ofherheart，saidWardle，withasmile，youshouldcertainlybethebestjudge。Idon’twishtodiscourageyou，butIshouldcertainlysaythat，ofhercase，DodsonandFoggarefarbetterjudgesthananyofuscanbe。
It’savileattempttoextortmoney，saidMr。Pickwick。
Ihopeitis，saidWardle，withashort，drycough。
Whoeverheardmeaddressherinanywaybutthatinwhichalodgerwouldaddresshislandlady？continuedMr。Pickwick，withgreatvehemence。
Whoeversawmewithher？Notevenmyfriendshere——
Exceptononeoccasion，saidMr。Tupman。
Mr。Pickwickchangedcolour。
Ah，saidMr。Wardle。Well，that’simportant。Therewasnothingsuspiciousthen，Isuppose？
Mr。Tupmanglancedtimidlyathisleader。Why，saidhe，therewasnothingsuspicious。but——Idon’tknowhowithappened，mind——shecertainlywasreclininginhisarms。
Graciouspowers！ejaculatedMr。Pickwick，astherecollectionofthesceneinquestionstruckforciblyuponhim。whatadreadfulinstanceoftheforceofcircumstances！Soshewas——soshewas。
Andourfriendwassoothingheranguish，saidMr。Winkle，rathermaliciously。
SoIwas，saidMr。Pickwick。Iwon’tdenyit。SoIwas。
Hallo！saidWardle。foracaseinwhichthere’snothingsuspicious，thislooksratherqueer——eh，Pickwick？Ah，slydog——slydog！andhelaughedtilltheglassesonthesideboardrangagain。
Whatadreadfulconjunctionofappearances！exclaimedMr。Pickwick，restinghischinuponhishands。Winkle——Tupman——IbegyourpardonfortheobservationsImadejustnow。Weareallthevictimsofcircumstances，andIthegreatest。WiththisapologyMr。Pickwickburiedhisheadinhishands，andruminated。whileWardlemeasuredoutaregularcircleofnodsandwinks，addressedtotheothermembersofthecompany。
I’llhaveitexplained，though，saidMr。Pickwick，raisinghisheadandhammeringthetable。I’llseethisDodsonandFogg！I’llgotoLondonto-morrow。
Notto-morrow，saidWardle。you’retoolame。
Well，then，nextday。
NextdayisthefirstofSeptember，andyou’repledgedtorideoutwithus，asfarasSirGeoffreyManning’sgrounds，atallevents，andtomeetusatlunch，ifyoudon’ttakethefield。
Well，then，thedayafter，saidMr。Pickwick。Thursday——Sam！
Sir，repliedMr。Weller。
TaketwoplacesoutsidetoLondon，onThursdaymorning，foryourselfandme。
Werywell，sir。
Mr。Wellerlefttheroom，anddepartedslowlyonhiserrand，withhishandsinhispocket，andhiseyesfixedontheground。
Rumfeller，thehemperor，saidMr。Weller，ashewalkedslowlyupthestreet。Thinko’hismakinguptothatereMrs。Bardell——vithalittleboy，too！Alwaysthevayviththesehereold’unshows’ever，asissuchsteadygoerstolookat。Ididn’tthinkhe’dha’doneit，though——Ididn’tthinkhe’dha’doneit！Moralisinginthisstrain，Mr。SamuelWellerbenthisstepstowardsthebooking-office。
[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter19[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXIXAPLEASANTDAY，WITHANUNPLEASANTTERMINATION
THEbirds，who，happilyfortheirownpeaceofmindandpersonalcomfort，wereinblissfulignoranceofthepreparationswhichhadbeenmakingtoastonishthem，onthefirstofSeptember，haileditnodoubt，asoneofthepleasantestmorningstheyhadseenthatseason。
Manyayoungpartridgewhostruttedcomplacentlyamongthestubble，withallthefinickingcoxcombryofyouth，andmanyanolderonewhowatchedhislevityoutofhislittleroundeye，withthecontemptuousairofabirdofwisdomandexperience，alikeunconsciousoftheirapproachingdoom，baskedinthefreshmorningairwithlivelyandblithesomefeelings，andafewhoursafterwardswerelaidlowupontheearth。Butwegrowaffecting：
letusproceed。
Inplaincommon-placematter-of-fact，then，itwasafinemorning——sofinethatyouwouldscarcelyhavebelievedthatthefewmonthsofanEnglishsummerhadyetflownby。Hedges，fields，andtrees，hillandmoorland，presentedtotheeyetheirever-varyingshadesofdeeprichgreen。scarcealeafhadfallen，scarceasprinkleofyellowmingledwiththehuesofsummer，warnedyouthatautumnhadbegun。Theskywascloudless，thesunshoneoutbrightandwarm。thesongsofbirds，andhumofmyriadsofsummerinsects，filledtheair。andthecottagegardens，crowdedwithflowersofeveryrichandbeautifultint，sparkled，intheheavydew，likebedsofglitteringjewels。Everythingborethestampofsummer，andnoneofitsbeautifulcolourshadyetfadedfromthedye。
Suchwasthemorning，whenanopencarriage，inwhichwerethreePickwickiansMr。Snodgrasshavingpreferredtoremainathome，Mr。Wardle，andMr。
Trundle，withSamWellerontheboxbesidethedriver，pulledupbyagateattheroad-side，beforewhichstoodatall，raw-bonedgame-keeper，andahalf-booted，leather-legginedboy：eachbearingabagofcapaciousdimensions，andaccompaniedbyabraceofpointers。
Isay，whisperedMr。WinkletoWardle，asthemanletdownthesteps，theydon’tsupposewe’regoingtokillgameenoughtofillthosebags，dothey？
Fillthem！exclaimedoldWardle。Blessyou，yes！Youshallfillone，andItheother。andwhenwe’vedonewiththem，thepocketsofourshootingjacketswillholdasmuchmore。
Mr。Winkledismountedwithoutsayinganythinginreplytothisobservation。
buthethoughtwithinhimself，thatifthepartyremainedintheopenair，untilhehadfilledoneofthebags，theystoodaconsiderablechanceofcatchingcoldsintheirheads。
``Hi，Juno，lass——hi，oldgirl。down，Daph，down，saidWardle，caressingthedogs。SirGeoffreystillinScotland，ofcourse，Martin？
Thetallgamekeeperrepliedintheaffirmative，andlookedwithsomesurprisefromMr。Winkle，whowasholdinghisgunasifhewishedhiscoatpockettosavehimthetroubleofpullingthetrigger，toMr。Tupman，whowasholdinghisasifhewereafraidofit——asthereisnoearthlyreasontodoubthereallywas。
Myfriendsarenotmuchinthewayofthissortofthingyet，Martin，
saidWardle，noticingthelook。Liveandlearn，youknow。They’llbegoodshotsoneofthesedays。IbegmyfriendWinkle’spardon，though。hehashadsomepractice。
Mr。Winklesmiledfeeblyoverhisblueneckerchiefinacknowledgmentofthecompliment，andgothimselfsomysteriouslyentangledwithhisgun，inhismodestconfusion，thatifthepiecehadbeenloaded，hemustinevitablyhaveshothimselfdeaduponthespot。
Youmusn’thandleyourpieceinthatereway，whenyoucometohavethechargeinit，sir，saidthetallgamekeeper，gruffly，orI’mdamnedifyouwon’tmakecoldmeatofsomeonus。
Mr。Winkle，thusadmonished，abruptlyaltereditsposition，andinsodoing，contrivedtobringthebarrelintoprettysharpcontactwithMr。
Weller’shead。
Hallo！saidSam，pickinguphishat，whichhadbeenknockedoff，andrubbinghistemple。Hallo，sir！ifyoucomesitthisvay，you’llfilloneo’thembags，andsomethingtospare，atonefire。
Heretheleather-legginedboylaughedveryheartily，andthentriedtolookasifitwassomebodyelse，whereatMr。Winklefrownedmajestically。
Wheredidyoutelltheboytomeetuswiththesnack，Martin？inquiredWardle。
SideofOne-treeHill，attwelveo’clock，sir。
That’snotSirGeoffrey’sland，isit？
No，sir。butit’sclosebyit。It’sCaptainBoldwig’sland。butthere’llbenobodytointerruptus，andthere’safinebitofturfthere。
Verywell，saidoldWardle。Nowthesoonerwe’reoffthebetter。
Willyoujoinusattwelve，then，Pickwick？
Mr。Pickwickwasparticularlydesiroustoviewthesport，themoreespeciallyashewasratheranxiousinrespectofMr。Winkle’slifeandlimbs。Onsoinvitingamorning，too，itwasverytantalisingtoturnback，andleavehisfriendstoenjoythemselves。Itwas，therefore，withaveryruefulairthathereplied，Why，IsupposeImust。
An’tthegentlemanashot，sir？inquiredthelonggamekeeper。
No，repliedWardle。andhe’slamebesides。
Ishouldverymuchliketogo，saidMr。Pickwick，verymuch。
Therewasashortpauseofcommiseration。
There’sabarrowt’othersidethehedge，saidtheboy。Ifthegentleman’sservantwouldwheelalongthepaths，hecouldkeepnighus，andwecouldliftitoverthestiles，andthat。
Thewerything，saidMr。Weller，whowasapartyinterested，inasmuchasheardentlylongedtoseethesport。Thewerything。Wellsaid，Smallcheek。
I’llhaveitoutinaminute。
Buthereadifficultyarose。Thelonggamekeeperresolutelyprotestedagainsttheintroductionintoashootingparty，ofagentlemaninabarrow，asagrossviolationofallestablishedrulesandprecedents。
Itwasagreatobjection，butnotaninsurmountableone。Thegamekeeperhavingbeencoaxedandfeed，andhaving，moreover，easedhismindbypunching
theheadoftheinventiveyouthwhohadfirstsuggestedtheuseofthemachine，Mr。Pickwickwasplacedinit，andoffthepartyset。Wardleandthelonggamekeeperleadingtheway，andMr。Pickwickinthebarrow，propelledbySam，bringinguptherear。
Stop，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，whentheyhadgothalfacrossthefirstfield。
What’sthematternow？saidWardle。
Iwon’tsufferthisbarrowtobemovedanotherstep，saidMr。Pickwick，resolutely，unlessWinklecarriesthatgunofhis，inadifferentmanner。
HowamItocarryit？saidthewretchedWinkle。
Carryitwiththemuzzletotheground，repliedMr。Pickwick。
It’ssounsportsman-like，reasonedWinkle。
Idon’tcarewhetherit’sunsportsman-likeornot，repliedMr。Pickwick。
Iamnotgoingtobeshotinawheelbarrow，forthesakeofappearances，topleaseanybody。
Iknowthegentleman’llputthaterechargeintosomebodyaforehe’sdone，growledthelongman。
Well，well——Idon’tmind，saidpoorWinkle，turninghisgun-stockuppermost——there。
Anythin’foraquietlife，saidMr。Weller。andontheywentagain。
Stop！saidMr。Pickwick，aftertheyhadgoneafewyardsfurther。
Whatnow？saidWardle。
ThatgunofTupman’sisnotsafe：Iknowitisn’tsaidMr。Pickwick。
Eh？What！notsafe？saidMr。Tupman，inatoneofgreatalarm。
Notasyouarecarryingit，saidMr。Pickwick。Iamverysorrytomakeanyfurtherobjection，butIcannotconsenttogoon，unlessyoucarryitasWinkledoeshis。
Ithinkyouhadbetter，sir，saidthelonggamekeeper，oryou’requiteaslikelytolodgethechargeinyourselfasinanythingelse。
Mr。Tupman，withthemostobliginghaste，placedhispieceinthepositionrequired，andthepartymovedonagain。thetwoamateursmarchingwithreversedarms，likeacoupleofprivatesataroyalfuneral。
Thedogssuddenlycametoadeadstop，andthepartyadvancingstealthilyasinglepace，stoppedtoo。
What’sthematterwiththedogs’legs？whisperedMr。Winkle。Howqueerthey’restanding。
Hush，can’tyou？repliedWardle，softly。Don’tyouseethey’remakingapoint？
Makingapoint！saidMr。Winkle，staringabouthim，asifheexpectedtodiscoversomeparticularbeautyinthelandscape，whichthesagaciousanimalswerecallingspecialattentionto。Makingapoint！Whataretheypointingat？
Keepyoueyesopen，saidWardle，notheedingthequestionintheexcitementofthemoment。Nowthen。
Therewasasharpwhirringnoise，thatmadeMr。Winklestartbackasifhehadbeenshothimself。Bang，bang，wentacoupleofguns——thesmokesweptquicklyawayoverthefield，andcurledintotheair。
Wherearethey？saidMr。Winkle，inastateofthehighestexcitement，turningroundandroundinalldirections。Wherearethey？Tellmewhentofire。Wherearethey——wherearethey？
Wherearethey？saidWardle，takingupabraceofbirdswhichthedogshaddepositedathisfeet。Why，heretheyare。
No，no。Imeantheothers，saidthebewilderedWinkle。
Farenoughoff，bythistime，repliedWardle，coollyreloadinghisgun。
Weshallverylikelybeupwithanothercoveyinfiveminutes，saidthelonggamekeeper。Ifthegentlemanbeginstofirenow，perhapshe’lljustgettheshotoutofthebarrelbythetimetheyrise。
Ha！ha！ha！roaredMr。Weller。
Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，compassionatinghisfollower’sconfusionandembarrassment。
Sir。
Don’tlaugh。
Certainlynot，sir。So，bywayofindemnification，Mr。Wellercontortedhisfeaturesfrombehindthewheel-barrowfortheexclusiveamusementoftheboywiththeleggings，whothereuponburstintoaboisterouslaugh，andwassummarilycuffedbythelonggamekeeper，whowantedapretextforturninground，tohidehisownmerriment。
Bravo，oldfellow！saidWardletoMr。Tupman。youfiredthattime，atallevents。
Ohyes，repliedMr。Tupman，withconsciouspride。Iletitoff。
Welldone。You’llhitsomethingnexttime，ifyoulooksharp。Veryeasy，ain’tit？
Yes，it’sveryeasy，saidMr。Tupman。Howithurtsone’sshoulder，though。Itnearlyknockedmebackwards。Ihadnoideathesesmallfire-armskickedso。
Ah，saidtheoldgentleman，smiling。you’llgetusedtoitintime。
Nowthen——allready——allrightwiththebarrowthere？
Allright，sir，repliedMr。Weller。
Comealongthen。
Holdhard，sir，saidSam，raisingthebarrow。
Aye，aye，repliedMr。Pickwick。andontheywent，asbrisklyasneedbe。
Keepthatbarrowbacknow，criedWardlewhenithadbeenhoistedoverastileintoanotherfield，andMr。Pickwickhadbeendepositedinitoncemore。
Allright，sir，repliedMr。Weller，pausing。
Now，Winkle，saidtheoldgentleman，followmesoftly，anddon’tbetoolatethistime。
Neverfear，saidMr。Winkle。Aretheypointing？
No，no。notnow。Quietlynow，quietly。Ontheycrept，andveryquietlytheywouldhaveadvanced，ifMr。Winkle，intheperformanceofsomeveryintricateevolutionswithhisgun，hadnotaccidentallyfired，atthemostcriticalmoment，overtheboy’shead，exactlyintheveryspotwherethetallman’sbrainswouldhavebeen，hadhebeenthereinstead。
Why，whatonearthdidyoudothatfor？saidoldWardle，asthebirdsflewunharmedaway。
Ineversawsuchaguninmylife，repliedpoorMr。Winkle，lookingatthelock，asifthatwoulddoanygood。Itgoesoffofitsownaccord。
Itwilldoit。
Willdoit！echoedWardle，withsomethingofirritationinhismanner。
Iwishitwouldkillsomethingofitsownaccord。
It’lldothataforelong，sir，observedthetallman，inalow，propheticvoice。
Whatdoyoumeanbythatobservation，sir？inquiredMr。Winkle，angrily。
Nevermind，sir，nevermind，repliedthelonggamekeeper。I’venofamilymyself，sir。andthishereboy’smotherwillgetsomethinghandsomefromSirGeoffrey，ifhe’skilledonhisland。Loadagain，sir，loadagain。
Takeawayhisgun，criedMr。Pickwickfromthebarrow，horror-strickenatthelongman’sdarkinsinuations。Takeawayhisgun，doyouhear，somebody？
Nobody，however，volunteeredtoobeythecommand。andMr。Winkle，afterdartingarebelliousglanceatMr。Pickwick，reloadedhisgun，andproceededonwardswiththerest。
Wearebound，ontheauthorityofMr。Pickwick，tostate，thatMr。Tupman’smodeofproceedingevincedfarmoreofprudenceanddeliberation，thanthatadoptedbyMr。Winkle。Still，thisbynomeansdetractsfromthegreatauthorityofthelattergentleman，onallmattersconnectedwiththefield。
because，asMr。Pickwickbeautifullyobserves，ithassomehoworotherhappened，fromtimeimmemorial，thatmanyofthebestandablestphilosophers，whohavebeenperfectlightsofscienceinmattersoftheory，havebeenwhollyunabletoreducethemtopractice。
Mr。Tupman’sprocess，likemanyofourmostsublimediscoveries，wasextremelysimple。Withthequicknessandpenetrationofamanofgenius，hehadatonceobservedthatthetwogreatpointstobeattainedwere——first，todischargehispiecewithoutinjurytohimself，andsecondly，todoso，withoutdangertotheby-standers——obviouslythebestthingtodoaftersurmountingthedifficultyoffiringatall，wastoshuthiseyesfirmly，andfireintotheair。
Ononeoccasion，afterperformingthisfeat，Mr。Tupman，onopeninghiseyes，beheldaplumppartridgeintheactoffallingwoundedtotheground。HewasonthepointofcongratulatingMr。Wardleonhisinvariablesuccess，whenthatgentlemanadvancedtowardshim，andgraspedhimwarmlybythehand。
Tupman，saidtheoldgentleman，yousingledoutthatparticularbird？
No，saidMr。Tupman——no。
Youdid，saidWardle。Isawyoudoit——Iobservedyoupickhimout——I
noticedyou，asyouraisedyourpiecetotakeaim。andIwillsaythis，thatthebestshotinexistencecouldnothavedoneitmorebeautifully。
Youareanolderhandatthis，thanIthoughtyou，Tupman。youhavebeenoutbefore。
ItwasinvainforMr。Tupmantoprotest，withasmileofself-denialthatheneverhad。Theverysmilewastakenasevidencetothecontrary。
andfromthattimeforth，hisreputationwasestablished。Itisnottheonlyreputationthathasbeenacquiredaseasily，noraresuchfortunatecircumstancesconfinedtopartridge-shooting。
Meanwhile，Mr。Winkleflashed，andblazed，andsmokedaway，withoutproducinganymaterialresultsworthyofbeingnoteddown。sometimesexpendinghischargeinmid-air，andatotherssendingitskimmingalongsonearthesurfaceofthegroundastoplacethelivesofthetwodogsonaratheruncertainandprecarioustenure。Asadisplayoffancyshooting，itwasextremelyvariedandcurious。asanexhibitionoffiringwithanypreciseobject，itwas，uponthewhole，perhapsafailure。Itisanestablishedaxiom，thateverybullethasitsbillet。’Ifitapplyinanequaldegreetoshot，thoseofMr。Winklewereunfortunatefoundlings，deprivedoftheirnaturalrights，castlooseupontheworld，andbilletednowhere。
Well，saidWardle，walkinguptothesideofthebarrow，andwipingthestreamsofperspirationfromhisjollyredface。smokingday，isn’tit？
Itis，indeed，repliedMr。Pickwick。Thesunistremendouslyhot，eventome。Idon’tknowhowyoumustfeelit。
Why，saidtheoldgentleman，prettyhot。It’spasttwelve，though。
Youseethatgreenhillthere？
Certainly。
That’stheplacewherewearetolunch。and，byJove，there’stheboywiththebasket，punctualasclockwork！
Soheis，saidMr。Pickwick，brighteningup。Goodboy，that。I’llgivehimashilling，presently。Now，then，Sam，wheelaway。
Holdon，sir，saidMr。Weller，invigoratedwiththeprospectofrefreshments。
Outofthevay，youngleathers。Ifyouwalleymypreciouslifedon’tupsetme，asthegen’l’m’nsaidtothedriverwhentheywasacarryin’himtoTyburn。Andquickeninghispacetoasharprun，Mr。Wellerwheeledhismasternimblytothegreenhill，shothimdexterouslyoutbytheverysideofthebasket，andproceededtounpackitwiththeutmostdispatch。
Wealpie，saidMr。Weller，soliloquising，ashearrangedtheeatablesonthegrass。Werygoodthingiswealpie，whenyouknowtheladyasmadeit，andisquitesureitan’tkittens。andarterallthough，where’stheodds，whenthey’resolikewealthatthewerypiementhemselvesdon’tknowthedifference？
Don’tthey，Sam？saidMr。Pickwick。
Notthey，sir，repliedMr。Weller，touchinghishat。Ilodgedinthesamehousevithapiemanonce，sir，andawerynicemanhewas——reg’larcleverchap，too——makepiesouto’anything，hecould。`Whatanumbero’
catsyoukeep，Mr。Brooks，’saysI，whenI’dgotintimatewithhim。`Ah，’
sayshe，`Ido——agoodmany，’sayshe。`Youmustbeweryfondo’cats，’
saysI。`Otherpeopleis，’sayshe，awinkin’atme。`theyan’tinseasontillthewinterthough，’sayshe。`Notinseason！’saysI。`No，’sayshe，`fruitsisin，catsisout。’`Why，whatdoyoumean？’saysI。`Mean？’sayshe。`ThatI’llneverbeapartytothecombinationo’thebutchers，tokeepupthepriceso’meat，’sayshe。`Mr。Weller，’sayshe，asqueezingmyhandweryhard，andvisperinginmyear——`don’tmentionthishereagin——butit’stheseasonin’asdoesit。They’reallmadeo’themnobleanimals，’
sayshe，apointin’toawerynicelittletabbykitten，`andIseasons’emforbeef-steak，weal，orkidney，’cordin’tothedemand。Andmorethanthat，’sayshe，`Icanmakeawealabeef-steak，orabeef-steakakidney，oranyoneon’emamutton，ataminute’snotice，justasthemarketchanges，andappetiteswary！’
Hemusthavebeenaveryingeniousyoungman，that，Sam，saidMr。
Pickwick，withaslightshudder。
Justwas，sir，repliedMr。Weller，continuinghisoccupationofemptyingthebasket，andthepieswasbeautiful。Tongue。wellthat’sawerygoodthingwhenitan’tawoman’s。Bread——knuckleo’ham，reg’larpicter——coldbeefinslices，werygood。What’sinthemstonejars，youngtouch-and-go？
Beerinthisone，repliedtheboy，takingfromhisshoulderacoupleoflargestonebottles，fastenedtogetherbyaleathernstrap——coldpunchint’other。
Andawerygoodnotionofalunchitis，takeitaltogether，saidMr。Weller，surveyinghisarrangementsoftherepastwithgreatsatisfaction。
Now，gen’l’m’n，`fallon，’astheEnglishsaidtotheFrenchwhentheyfixedbagginets。
Itneedednosecondinvitationtoinducethepartytoyieldfulljusticetothemeal。andaslittlepressingdiditrequiretoinduceMr。Weller，thelonggamekeeper，andthetwoboys，tostationthemselvesonthegrass，atalittledistance，anddogoodexecutionuponadecentproportionoftheviands。Anoldoakaffordedapleasantsheltertothegroup，andarichprospectofarableandmeadowland，intersectedwithluxurianthedges，andrichlyornamentedwithwood，layspreadoutbeforethem。
Thisisdelightful——thoroughlydelightful！saidMr。Pickwick，theskinofwhoseexpressivecountenancewasrapidlypeelingoff，withexposuretothesun。
Soitis：soitis，oldfellow，repliedWardle。Come。aglassofpunch！
Withgreatpleasure，saidMr。Pickwick。thesatisfactionofwhosecountenance，afterdrinkingit，boretestimonytothesincerityofthereply。
Good，saidMr。Pickwick，smackinghislips。Verygood。I’lltakeanother。Cool。verycool。Come，gentlemen，continuedMr。Pickwick，stillretaininghisholduponthejar，atoast。OurfriendsatDingleyDell。
Thetoastwasdrunkwithloudacclamations。
I’lltellyouwhatIshalldo，togetupmyshootingagain，saidMr。
Winkle，whowaseatingbreadandhamwithapocket-knife。I’llputastuffedpartridgeonthetopofapost，andpracticeatit，beginningatashortdistance，andlengtheningitbydegrees。Iunderstandit’scapitalpractice。
Iknowagen’l’man，sir，saidMr。Weller，asdidthat，andbegunattwoyards。buthenevertrieditonagin。forheblowedthebirdrightcleanawayatthefirstfire，andnobodyeverseedafeatheronhimarterwards。
Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。
Sir，repliedMr。WellerHavethegoodnesstoreserveyouranecdotestilltheyarecalledfor。
Cert’nly，sir。
HereMr。Wellerwinkedtheeyewhichwasnotconcealedbythebeer-canhewasraisingtohislipswithsuchexquisiteness，thatthetwoboyswentintospontaneousconvulsions，andeventhelongmancondescendedtosmile。
Wellthatcertainlyismostcapitalcoldpunch，saidMr。Pickwick，lookingearnestlyatthestonebottle。andthedayisextremelywarm，and——Tupman，mydearfriend，aglassofpunch？
Withthegreatestdelight，repliedMr。Tupman。andhavingdrankthatglass，Mr。Pickwicktookanother，justtoseewhethertherewasanyorangepeelinthepunch，becauseorangepeelalwaysdisagreedwithhim。andfindingthattherewasnot，Mr。Pickwicktookanotherglasstothehealthoftheirabsentfriend，andthenfelthimselfimperativelycalledupontoproposeanotherinhonourofthepunch-compounder，unknown。
ThisconstantsuccessionofglassesproducedconsiderableeffectuponMr。Pickwick。hiscountenancebeamedwiththemostsunnysmiles，laughterplayedaroundhislips，andgood-humouredmerrimenttwinkledinhiseye。
Yieldingbydegreestotheinfluenceoftheexcitingliquid，renderedmoresobytheheat，Mr。Pickwickexpressedastrongdesiretorecollectasongwhichhehadheardinhisinfancy，andtheattemptprovingabortive，soughttostimulatehismemorywithmoreglassesofpunch，whichappearedtohavequiteacontraryeffect。for，fromforgettingthewordsofthesong，hebegantoforgethowtoarticulateanywordsatall。andfinally，afterrisingtohislegstoaddressthecompanyinaneloquentspeech，hefellintothebarrow，andfastasleep，simultaneously。
Thebaskethavingbeenrepacked，anditbeingfoundperfectlyimpossibletoawakenMr。Pickwickfromhistorpor，somediscussiontookplacewhetheritwouldbebetterforMr。Wellertowheelhismasterbackagain，ortoleavehimwherehewas，untiltheyshouldallbereadytoreturn。Thelattercoursewasatlengthdecidedon。andasthefurtherexpeditionwasnottoexceedanhour’sduration，andasMr。Wellerbeggedveryhardtobeoneoftheparty，itwasdeterminedtoleaveMr。Pickwickasleepinthebarrow，andtocallforhimontheirreturn。Soawaytheywent，leavingMr。Pickwicksnoringmostcomfortablyintheshade。
ThatMr。Pickwickwouldhavecontinuedtosnoreintheshadeuntilhisfriendscameback，or，indefaultthereof，untiltheshadesofeveninghadfallenonthelandscape，thereappearsnoreasonablecausetodoubt。
alwayssupposingthathehadbeensufferedtoremainthereinpeace。Buthewasnotsufferedtoremainthereinpeace。Andthiswaswhatpreventedhim。
CaptainBoldwigwasalittlefiercemaninastiffblackneckerchiefandbluesurtout，who，whenhedidcondescendtowalkabouthisproperty，diditincompanywithathickrattanstickwithabrassferrule，andagardenerandsubgardenerwithmeekfaces，towhomthegardeners，notthestickCaptainBoldwiggavehisorderswithallduegrandeurandferocity：
forCaptainBoldwig’swife’ssisterhadmarriedaMarquis，andtheCaptain’shousewasavilla，andhislandgrounds，anditwasallveryhigh，andmighty，andgreat。
Mr。PickwickhadnotbeenasleephalfanhourwhenlittleCaptainBoldwig，followedbythetwogardeners，camestridingalongasfastashissizeandimportancewouldlethim。andwhenhecameneartheoaktree，CaptainBoldwigpaused，anddrewalongbreath，andlookedattheprospectasifhethoughttheprospectoughttobehighlygratifiedathavinghimtotakenoticeofit。andthenhestruckthegroundemphaticallywithhisstick，andsummonedthehead-gardener。
Hunt，saidCaptainBoldwig。
Yes，sir，saidthegardener。
Rollthisplaceto-morrowmorning——doyouhear，Hunt？
Yes，sir。
Andtakecarethatyoukeepmethisplaceingoodorder——doyouhear，Hunt？
Yes，sir。
Andremindmetohaveaboarddoneabouttrespassers，andspringguns，andallthatsortofthing，tokeepthecommonpeopleout。Doyouhear，Hunt。doyouhear？
I’llnotforgetit，sir。
Ibegyourpardon，sir，saidtheotherman，advancing，withhishandtohishat。
Well，Wilkins，what’sthematterwithyou？saidCaptainBoldwig。
Ibegyourpardon，sir——butIthinktherehavebeentrespassershereto-day。
Ha！saidtheCaptain，scowlingaroundhim。
Yes，sir——theyhavebeendininghere，Ithink，sir。
Why，confoundtheiraudacity，sotheyhave，saidCaptainBoldwig，asthecrumbsandfragmentsthatwerestrewnuponthegrassmethiseye。
Theyhaveactuallybeendevouringtheirfoodhere。IwishIhadthevagabondshere！saidtheCaptain，clenchingthethickstick。
IwishIhadthevagabondshere，saidtheCaptain，wrathfully。
Begyourpardon，sir，saidWilkins，but——
Butwhat？Eh？roaredtheCaptain。andfollowingthetimidglanceofWilkins，hiseyesencounteredthewheel-barrowandMr。Pickwick。
Whoareyou，yourascal？saidtheCaptain，administeringseveralpokestoMr。Pickwick’sbodywiththethickstick。What’syourname？
Coldpunch，murmuredMr。Pickwick，ashesunktosleepagain。
What？demandedCaptainBoldwig。
Noreply。
Whatdidhesayhisnamewas？askedtheCaptain。
Punch，Ithink，sir，repliedWilkins。
That’shisimpudence，that’shisconfoundedimpudence，saidCaptainBoldwig。He’sonlyfeigningtobeasleepnow，saidtheCaptain，inahighpassion。He’sdrunk。he’sadrunkenplebeian。Wheelhimaway，Wilkins，wheelhimawaydirectly。
WhereshallIwheelhimto，sir？inquiredWilkins，withgreattimidity。
WheelhimtotheDevil，repliedCaptainBoldwig。
Verywell，sir，saidWilkins。
Stay，saidtheCaptain。
Wilkinsstoppedaccordingly。
Wheelhim，saidtheCaptain，wheelhimtothePound。andletusseewhetherhecallshimselfPunchwhenhecomestohimself。Heshallnotbullyme，heshallnotbullyme。Wheelhimaway。
AwayMr。Pickwickwaswheeledincompliancewiththisimperiousmandate。
andthegreatCaptainBoldwig，swellingwithindignation，proceededonhiswalk。
Inexpressiblewastheastonishmentofthelittlepartywhentheyreturned，tofindthatMr。Pickwickhaddisappeared，andtakenthewheelbarrowwithhim。Itwasthemostmysteriousandunaccountablethingthatwaseverheardof。Foralamemantohavegotuponhislegswithoutanypreviousnotice，andwalkedoff，wouldhavebeenmostextraordinary。butwhenitcametohiswheelingaheavybarrowbeforehim，bywayofamusement，itgrewpositivelymiraculous。Theysearchedeverynookandcornerround，togetherandseparately。
theyshouted，whistled，laughed，called——andallwiththesameresult。
Mr。Pickwickwasnottobefound。Aftersomehoursoffruitlesssearch，theyarrivedattheunwelcomeconclusionthattheymustgohomewithouthim。
MeanwhileMr。PickwickhadbeenwheeledtothePound，andsafelydepositedtherein，fastasleepinthewheelbarrow，totheimmeasurabledelightandsatisfaction，notonlyofalltheboysinthevillage，butthree-fourthsofthewholepopulation，whohadgatheredround，inexpectationofhiswaking。Iftheirmostintensegratificationhadbeenexcitedbyseeinghimwheeledin，howmanyhundredfoldwastheirjoyincreasedwhen，afterafewindistinctcriesofSam！hesatupinthebarrow，andgazedwithindescribableastonishmentonthefacesbeforehim。
Ageneralshoutwasofcoursethesignalofhishavingwokeup。andhisinvoluntaryinquiryofWhat’sthematter？occasionedanother，louderthanthefirst，ifpossible。
Here’sagame！roaredthepopulace。
WhereamI？exclaimedMr。Pickwick。
InthePound，repliedthemob。
HowcameIhere？WhatwasIdoing？WherewasIbroughtfrom？
Boldwig！CaptainBoldwig！wastheonlyreply。
Letmeout，criedMr。Pickwick。Where’smyservant？Wherearemyfriends？
Youan’tgotnofriends。Hurrah！Thentherecameaturnip，thenapoato，andthenanegg：withafewotherlittletokensoftheplayfuldispositionofthemany-headed。
Howlongthisscenemighthavelasted，orhowmuchMr。Pickwickmighthavesuffered，noonecantell，hadnotacarriage，whichwasdrivingswiftlyby，suddenlypulledup，fromwhencetheredescendedoldWardleandSamWeller，theformerofwhom，infarlesstimethanittakestowriteit，ifnottoreadit，hadmadehiswaytoMr。Pickwick’sside，andplacedhiminthevehicle，justasthelatterhadconcludedthethirdandlastroundofasinglecombatwiththetown-beadle。
RuntotheJustice’s！criedadozenvoices。
Ah，runavay，saidMr。Weller，jumpinguponthebox。Givemycompliments——Mr。
Veller’scompliments——totheJustice，andtellhimI’vespiledhisbeadle，andthat，ifhe’llsvearinanew’un，I’llcomebackaginto-morrowandspilehim。Driveon，oldfeller。
I’llgivedirectionsforthecommencementofanactionforfalseimprisonmentagainstthisCaptainBoldwig，directlyIgettoLondon，saidMr。Pickwick，assoonasthecarriageturnedoutofthetown。
Weweretrespassing，itseems，saidWardle。
Idon’tcare，saidMr。Pickwick，I’llbringtheaction。
No，youwon’t，saidWardle。
Iwill，by——butastherewasahumorousexpressioninWardle’sface，Mr。Pickwickcheckedhimself，andsaid：Whynot？
Because，saidoldWardle，half-burstingwithlaughter，becausetheymightturnroundonsomeofus，andsaywehadtakentoomuchcoldpunch。
Dowhathewould，asmilewouldcomeintoMr。Pickwick’sface。thesmileextendedintoalaugh。thelaughintoaroar。theroarbecamegeneral。
So，tokeepuptheirgoodhumour，theystoppedatthefirstroadsidetaverntheycameto，andorderedaglassofbrandyandwaterallround，withamagnumofextrastrengthforMr。SamuelWeller。
[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter20[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXXSHOWINGHOWDODSONANDFOGGWEREMENOFBUSINESS，ANDTHEIRCLERKSMENOFPLEASURE。ANDHOWANAFFECTINGINTERVIEWTOOKPLACE
BETWEENMR。WELLERANDHISLONG-LOSTPARENT。SHOWINGALSOWHATCHOICESPIRITS
ASSEMBLEDATTHEMAGPIEANDSTUMP，ANDWHATACAPITALCHAPTERTHENEXT
ONEWILLBE
INtheground-floorfrontofadingyhouse，attheveryfurthestendofFreeman’sCourt，Cornhill，satthefourclerksofMessrs。DodsonandFogg，twoofhisMajesty’sAttorneysoftheCourtsofKing’sBenchandCommonPleasatWest-minster，andsolicitorsoftheHighCourtofChancery：theaforesaidclerkscatchingasfavourableglimpsesofHeaven’slightandHeaven’ssun，inthecourseoftheirdailylabours，asamanmighthopetodo，wereheplacedatthebottomofareasonablydeepwell。andwithouttheopportunityofperceivingthestarsintheday-time，whichthelattersecludedsituationaffords。
Theclerks’officeofMessrs。DodsonandFoggwasadark，mouldy，earthy-smellingroom，withahighwainscottedpartitiontoscreentheclerksfromthevulgargaze：acoupleofoldwoodenchairs：averyloud-tickingclock：analmanack，anumbrella-stand，arowofhat-pegs，andafewshelves，onwhichweredepositedseveralticketedbundlesofdirtypapers，someolddealboxeswithpaperlabels，andsundrydecayedstoneinkbottlesofvariousshapesandsizes。Therewasaglassdoorleadingintothepassagewhichformedtheentrancetothecourt，andontheoutersideofthisglassdoor，Mr。
Pickwick，closelyfollowedbySamWeller，presentedhimselfontheFridaymorningsucceedingtheoccurrence，ofwhichafaithfulnarrationisgiveninthelastchapter。
Comein，can’tyou！criedavoicefrombehindthepartition，inreplytoMr。Pickwick’sgentletapatthedoor。AndMr。PickwickandSamenteredaccordingly。
Mr。DodsonorMr。Foggathome，sir？inquiredMr。Pickwick，gently，advancing，hatinhand，towardsthepartition。
Mr。Dodsonain’tathome，andMr。Fogg’sparticularlyengaged，repliedthevoice。andatthesametimetheheadtowhichthevoicebelonged，withapenbehinditsear，lookedoverthepartition，andatMr。Pickwick。
Itwasaraggedhead，thesandyhairofwhich，scrupulouslypartedononeside，andflatteneddownwithpomatum，wastwistedintolittlesemi-circulartailsroundaflatfaceornamentedwithapairofsmalleyes，andgarnishedwithaverydirtyshirtcollar，andarustyblackstock。
Mr。Dodsonain’tathome，andMr。Fogg’sparticularlyengaged，saidthemantowhomtheheadbelonged。
WhenwillMr。Dodsonbeback，sir？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
Can’tsay。
WillitbelongbeforeMr。Foggisdisengaged，sir？
Don’tknow。
Herethemanproceededtomendhispenwithgreatdeliberation，whileanotherclerk，whowasmixingaSeidlitzpowder，undercoverofthelidofhisdesk，laughedapprovingly。
IthinkI’llwait，saidMr。Pickwick。Therewasnoreply。soMr。Pickwicksatdownunbidden，andlistenedtotheloudtickingoftheclockandthemurmuredconversationoftheclerks。
Thatwasagame，wasn’tit？saidoneofthegentlemen，inabrowncoatandbrassbuttons，inkydrabs，andbluchers，attheconclusionofsomeinaudiblerelationofhispreviousevening’sadventures。
Devilishgood——devilishgood，saidtheSeidlitz-powderman。
TomCumminswasinthechair，saidthemanwiththebrowncoat。Itwashalf-pastfourwhenIgottoSomersTown，andthenIwassouncommonlushey，thatIcouldn’tfindtheplacewherethelatch-keywentin，andwasobligedtoknockuptheold’ooman。Isay，IwonderwhatoldFogg’udsay，ifheknewit。Ishouldgetthesack，Is’pose——eh？
Atthishumorousnotion，alltheclerkslaughedinconcert。
TherewassuchagamewithFogghere，thismornin’，saidthemaninthebrowncoat，whileJackwasup-stairssortingthepapers，andyoutwoweregonetothestamp-office。Foggwasdownhere，openingtheletters，whenthatchapasweissuedthewritagainstatCamberwell，youknow，camein——what’shisnameagain？
Ramsey，saidtheclerkwhohadspokentoMr。Pickwick。
Ah，Ramsey——apreciousseedy-lookingcustomer。`Well，sir，’saysoldFogg，lookingathimveryfierce——youknowhisway——`well，sir，haveyoucometosettle？’`Yes，Ihave，sir，’saidRamsey，puttinghishandinhispocket，andbringingoutthemoney，`thedebt’stwopoundten，andthecoststhreepoundfive，andhereitis，sir。andhesighedlikebricks，asheluggedoutthemoney，doneupinabitofblotting-paper。OldFogglookedfirstatthemoney，andthenathim，andthenhecoughedinhisrumway，sothatIknewsomethingwascoming。Youdon’tknowthere’sadeclarationfiled，whichincreasesthecostsmaterially，Isuppose？’saidFogg。`Youdon’tsaythat，sir，’saidRamsey，startingback。`thetimewasonlyoutlastnight，sir。’`Idosayit，though，’saidFogg，`myclerk’sjustgonetofileit。Hasn’tMr。JacksongonetofilethatdeclarationinBullmanandRamsey，Mr。Wicks？’OfcourseIsaidyes，andthenFoggcoughedagain，andlookedatRamsey。`MyGod！’saidRamsey。`andherehaveInearlydrivenmyselfmad，scrapingthismoneytogether，andalltonopurpose。’`Noneatall，’saidFogg，coolly。`soyouhadbettergobackandscrapesomemoretogether，andbringithereintime。’`Ican’tgetit，byGod！’saidRamsey，strikingthedeskwithhisfist。`Don’tbullyme，sir，’saidFogg，gettingintoapassiononpurpose。`Iamnotbullyingyou，sir，’saidRamsey。`Youare，’saidFogg。`getout，sir。getoutofthisoffice，sir，andcomeback，sir，whenyouknowhowtobehaveyourself。’
Well，Ramseytriedtospeak，butFoggwouldn’tlethim，soheputthemoneyinhispocket，andsneakedout。Thedoorwasscarcelyshut，whenoldFoggturnedroundtome，withasweetsmileonhisface，anddrewthedeclarationoutofhiscoatpocket。`Here，Wicks，’saysFogg，`takeacab，andgodowntotheTempleasquickasyoucan，andfilethat。Thecostsarequitesafe，forhe’sasteadymanwithalargefamily，atasalaryoffive-and-twentyshillingsaweek，andifhegivesusawarrantofattorney，ashemustintheend，Iknowhisemployerswillseeitpaid。sowemayaswellgetallwecanoutofhim，Mr。Wicks。it’saChristianacttodoit，Mr。Wicks，forwithhislargefamilyandsmallincome，he’llbeallthebetterforagoodlessonagainstgettingintodebt，——won’the，Mr。Wicks，won’the？’——andhesmiledsogood-naturedlyashewentaway，thatitwasdelightfultoseehim。Heisacapitalmanofbusiness，saidWicks，inatoneofthedeepestadmiration，capital，isn’the？
Theotherthreecordiallysubscribedtothisopinion，andtheanecdoteaffordedthemostunlimitedsatisfaction。
Nicementhesehere，sir，whisperedMr。Wellertohismaster。werynicenotionoffuntheyhas，sir。
Mr。Pickwicknoddedassent，andcoughedtoattracttheattentionoftheyounggentlemenbehindthepartition，who，havingnowrelaxedtheirmindsbyalittleconversationamongthemselves，condescendedtotakesomenoticeofthestranger。
IwonderwhetherFogg’sdisengagednow？saidJackson。
I’llsee，saidWicks，dismountingleisurelyfromhisstool。WhatnameshallItellMr。Fogg？
Pickwick，repliedtheillustrioussubjectofthesememoirs。
Mr。Jacksondepartedup-stairsonhiserrand，andimmediatelyreturnedwithamessagethatMr。FoggwouldseeMr。Pickwickinfiveminutes。andhavingdeliveredit，returnedagaintohisdesk。
Whatdidhesayhisnamewas？whisperedWicks。
Pickwick，repliedJackson。it’sthedefendantinBardellandPickwick。
Asuddenscrapingoffeet，mingledwiththesoundofsuppressedlaughter，washeardfrombehindthepartition。
They’reatwiggin’ofyou，sir，whisperedMr。Weller。
Twiggingofme，Sam！repliedMr。Pickwick。whatdoyoumeanbytwiggingme？
Mr。Wellerrepliedbypointingwithhisthumboverhisshoulder，andMr。Pickwick，onlookingup，becamesensibleofthepleasingfact，thatallthefourclerks，withcountenancesexpressiveoftheutmostamusement，andwiththeirheadsthrustoverthewoodenscreen，wereminutelyinspectingthefigureandgeneralappearanceofthesupposedtriflerwithfemalehearts，anddisturberoffemalehappiness。Onhislookingup，therowofheadssuddenlydisappeared，andthesoundofpenstravellingatafuriousrateoverpaper，immediatelysucceeded。
Asuddenringatthebellwhichhungintheoffice，summonedMr。JacksontotheapartmentofFogg，fromwhencehecamebacktosaythatheFogg
wasreadytoseeMr。Pickwickifhewouldstepup-stairs。
Up-stairsMr。Pickwickdidstepaccordingly，leavingSamWellerbelow。
Theroomdooroftheone-pairback，boreinscribedinlegiblecharacterstheimposingwordsMr。Fogg。and，havingtappedthereat，andbeendesiredtocomein，JacksonusheredMr。Pickwickintothepresence。
IsMr。Dodsonin？inquiredMr。Fogg。
Justcomein，sir，repliedJackson。
Askhimtostephere。
Yes，sir。ExitJackson。
Takeaseat，sir，saidFogg。thereisthepaper，sir。mypartnerwillbeheredirectly，andwecanconverseaboutthismatter，sir。
Mr。Pickwicktookaseatandthepaper，butinsteadofreadingthelatter，peepedoverthetopofit，andtookasurveyofthemanofbusiness，whowasanelderly，pimply-faced，vegetable-dietsortofman，inablackcoat，darkmixturetrousers，andsmallblackgaiters。akindofbeingwhoseemedtobeanessentialpartofthedeskatwhichhewaswriting，andtohaveasmuchthoughtorsentiment。
Afterafewminutes’silence，Mr。Dodson，aplump，portly，stern-lookingman，withaloudvoice，appeared。andtheconversationcommenced。
ThisisMr。Pickwick，saidFogg。
Ah！Youarethedefendant，sir，inBardellandPickwick？saidDodson。
Iam，sir，repliedMr。Pickwick。
Well，sir，saidDodson，andwhatdoyoupropose？
Ah！saidFogg，thrustinghishandsintohistrousers’pockets，andthrowinghimselfbackinhischair，whatdoyoupropose，Mr。Pickwick？
Hush，Fogg，saidDodson，letmehearwhatMr。Pickwickhastosay。
Icame，gentlemen，saidMr。Pickwick，gazingplacidlyonthetwopartners，Icamehere，gentlemen，toexpressthesurprisewithwhichIreceivedyourletteroftheotherday，andtoinquirewhatgroundsofactionyoucanhaveagainstme。
Groundsof——Fogghadejaculatedthismuch，whenhewasstoppedbyDodson。
Mr。Fogg，saidDodson，Iamgoingtospeak。
Ibegyourpardon，Mr。Dodson，saidFoggForthegroundsofaction，sir，continuedDodson，withmoralelevationinhisair，youwillconsultyourownconscienceandyourownfeelings。
We，sir，we，areguidedentirelybythestatementofourclient。Thatstatement，sir，maybetrue，oritmaybefalse。itmaybecredible，oritmaybeincredible。but，ifitbetrue，andifitbecredible，Idonothesitatetosay，sir，thatourgroundsofaction，sir，arestrong，andnottobeshaken。Youmaybeanunfortunateman，sir，oryoumaybeadesigningone。
butifIwerecalledupon，asajurymanuponmyoath，sir，toexpressanopinionofyourconduct，sir，IdonothesitatetoassertthatIshouldhavebutoneopinionaboutit。HereDodsondrewhimselfup，withanairofoffendedvirtue，andlookedatFogg，whothrusthishandsfurtherinhispockets，and，noddinghisheadsagely，said，inatoneofthefullestconcurrence，Mostcertainly。
Well，sir，saidMr。Pickwick，withconsiderablepaindepictedinhiscountenance，youwillpermitmetoassureyou，thatIamamostunfortunateman，sofarasthiscaseisconcerned。
Ihopeyouare，sir，repliedDodson。Itrustyoumaybe，sir。Ifyouarereallyinnocentofwhatislaidtoyourcharge，youaremoreunfortunatethanIhadbelievedanymancouldpossiblybe。Whatdoyousay，Mr。Fogg？
Isaypreciselywhatyousay，repliedFogg，withasmileofincredulity。
Thewrit，sir，whichcommencestheaction，continuedDodson，wasissuedregularly。Mr。Fogg，whereisthepraecipebook？
Hereitis，saidFogg，handingoverasquarebook，withaparchmentcover。
Hereistheentry，resumedDodson。`Middlesex，CapiasMarthaBardell，widow，v。SamuelPickwick。Damages，1500。DodsonandFoggfortheplaintiff，Aug。28，1830。’Allregular，sir。perfectly。DodsoncoughedandlookedatFogg，whosaidPerfectly，also。AndthentheybothlookedatMr。Pickwick。
Iamtounderstand，then，saidMr。Pickwick，thatitreallyisyourintentiontoproceedwiththisaction？
Understand，sir？Thatyoucertainlymay，repliedDodson，withsomethingasnearasmileashisimportancewouldallow。
Andthatthedamagesareactuallylaidatfifteenhundredpounds？
saidMr。Pickwick。
Towhichunderstandingyoumayaddmyassurance，thatifwecouldhaveprevaileduponourclient，theywouldhavebeenlaidattrebletheamount，sir：repliedDodson。
IbelieveMrs。Bardellspeciallysaid，however，observedFogg，glancingatDodson，thatshewouldnotcompromiseforafarthingless。
Unquestionably，repliedDodson，sternly。Fortheactionwasonlyjustbegun。anditwouldn’thavedonetoletMr。Pickwickcompromiseitthen，evenifhehadbeensodisposed。
Asyouoffernoterms，sir，saidDodson，displayingaslipofparchmentinhisrighthand，andaffectionatelypressingapapercopyofit，onMr。
Pickwickwithhisleft，Ihadbetterserveyouwithacopyofthiswrit，sirHereistheoriginal，sir。
Verywell，gentlemen，verywell，saidMr。Pickwick，risinginpersonandwrathatthesametime。youshallhearfrommysolicitor，gentlemen。
Weshallbeveryhappytodoso，saidFogg，rubbinghishands。
Very，saidDodson，openingthedoor。
AndbeforeIgo，gentlemen，saidtheexcitedMr。Pickwick，turningroundonthelanding，permitmetosay，thatofallthedisgracefulandrascallyproceedings——
Stay，sir，stay，interposedDodson，withgreatpoliteness。Mr。Jackson！
Mr。Wicks。
Sir，saidthetwoclerks，appearingatthebottomofthestairs。
Imerelywantyoutohearwhatthisgentlemansays，repliedDodson。
Pray，goon，sir——disgracefulandrascallyproceedings，Ithinkyousaid？
Idid，saidMr。Pickwick，thoroughlyroused。Isaid，sir，thatofallthedisgracefulandrascallyproceedingsthateverwereattempted，thisisthemostso。Irepeatit，sir。
Youhearthat，Mr。Wicks？saidDodson。
Youwon’tforgettheseexpressions，Mr。Jackson？saidFogg。
Perhapsyouwouldliketocallusswindlers，sir，saidDodson。Praydo，sir，ifyoufeeldisposed。nowpraydo，sir。
Ido，saidMr。Pickwick。Youareswindlers。
Verygood，saidDodson。Youcanheardownthere，Ihope，Mr。Wicks？
Ohyes，sir，saidWicks。
Youhadbettercomeupasteportwohigher，ifyoucan’t，addedMr。
Fogg。Goon，sir。dogoon。Youhadbettercallusthieves，sir。orperhapsyouwouldliketoassaultoneofus。Praydoit，sir，ifyouwould。wewillnotmakethesmallestresistance。Praydoit，sir。
AsFoggputhimselfverytemptinglywithinthereachofMr。Pickwick’sclenchedfist，thereislittledoubtthatthatgentlemanwouldhavecompliedwithhisearnestentreaty，butfortheinterpositionofSam，who，hearingthedispute，emergedfromtheoffice，mountedthestairs，andseizedhismasterbythearm。
Youjustcomeavay，saidMr。Weller。Battledoreandshuttlecock’sawerygoodgame，vhenyouan’ttheshuttlecockandtwolawyersthebattledores，inwhichcaseitgetstooexcitin’tobepleasant。Comeavay，sir。Ifyouwanttoeaseyourmindbyblowingupsomebody，comeoutintothecourtandblowupme。butit’sraythertooexpensiveworktobecarriedonhere。
Andwithouttheslightestceremony，Mr。Wellerhauledhismasterdownthestairs，anddownthecourt，andhavingsafelydepositedhiminCornhill，fellbehind，preparedtofollowwhithersoeverheshouldlead。
Mr。Pickwickwalkedonabstractedly，crossedoppositetheMansionHouse，andbenthisstepsupCheapside。Sambegantowonderwheretheyweregoing，whenhismasterturnedroundandsaid：
Sam，IwillgoimmediatelytoMr。Perker’s。
That’sjustexactlytheweryplacevereyououghttohavegonelastnight，sir，repliedMr。Weller。
Ithinkitis，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。
Iknowitis，saidMr。Weller。
Well，well，Sam，repliedMr。Pickwick，wewillgothereatonce，butfirst，asIhavebeenratherruffled，Ishouldlikeaglassofbrandyandwarmwater，Sam。WherecanIhaveit，Sam？
Mr。Weller’sknowledgeofLondonwasextensiveandpeculiar。Herepliedwithouttheslightestconsideration：
Secondcourtontherighthandside——lasthousebutvunonthesamesidethevay——taketheboxasstandsinthefirstfire-place，’costherean’tnoleginthemiddleo’thetable，wichalltheothershas，andit’sweryinconvenient。
Mr。Pickwickobservedhisvalet’sdirectionsimplicitly，andbiddingSamfollowhim，enteredthetavernhehadpointedout，wherethehotwaterandbrandywasspeedilyplacedbeforehim。whileMr。Weller，seatedatarespectfuldistance，thoughatthesametablewithhismaster，wasaccommodatedwithapintofporter。
Theroomwasoneofaveryhomelydescription，andwasapparentlyundertheespecialpatronageofstagecoachmen：forseveralgentlemen，whohadalltheappearanceofbelongingtothatlearnedprofession，weredrinkingandsmokinginthedifferentboxes。Amongthenumberwasonestout，redfaced，elderlymaninparticular，seatedinanoppositebox，whoattractedMr。
Pickwick’sattention。Thestoutmanwassmokingwithgreatvehemence，butbetweeneveryhalf-dozenpuffs，hetookhispipefromhismouth，andlookedfirstatMr。WellerandthenatMr。Pickwick。Then，hewouldburyinaquartpot，asmuchofhiscountenanceasthedimensionsofthequartpotadmittedofitsreceiving，andtakeanotherlookatSamandMr。Pickwick。
Thenhewouldtakeanotherhalf-dozenpuffswithanairofprofoundmeditationandlookatthemagain。Atlastthestoutman，puttinguphislegsontheseat，andleaninghisbackagainstthewall，begantopuffathispipewithoutleavingoffatall，andtostarethroughthesmokeatthenew-comers，asifhehadmadeuphismindtoseethemosthecouldofthem。