第45章
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  Onhisdeath—bedhebecameaCatholicoutofdeferencetothetearsofhiswife;butashischildrencouldnotinherithisfortythousandpoundsinvestedinEngland,withoutconformingtotheChurchofEngland,thefamilyreturnedtoLondon,wherethewidowcompliedwithalltheobligationsofthelawofEngland。Whatwillpeoplenotdowhentheirinterestsareatstake!thoughinacaselikethisthereisnoneedtoblameapersonforyielding,toprejudiceswhichhadthesanctionofthelaw。

  Itwasnowthebeginningoftheyear1758,andfiveyearsbefore,whenIwasatPadua,Ifellinlovewiththeeldestdaughter,butafewmonthsafter,whenwewereatVenice,MadameX。C。V。thoughtgoodtoexcludemefromherfamilycircle。Theinsultwhichthemotherputuponmewassoftenedbythedaughter,whowrotemeacharmingletter,whichIlovetoreadevennow。Imayaswellconfessthatmygriefwastheeasiertobearasmytimewastakenupbymyfairnun,M————M————,andmydearC————C—————。Nevertheless,Mdlle。X。C。V。,thoughonlyfifteen,wasofaperfectbeauty,andwasallthemorecharminginthattoherphysicaladvantagesshejoinedthoseofaculturedmind。

  CountAlgarotti,theKingofPrussia’schamberlain,gaveherlessons,andseveralyoungnobleswereamonghersuitors,herpreferenceapparentlybeinggiventotheheirofthefamilyofMemmodeSt。

  Marcuola。Hediedayearafterwards,whilehewasprocurator。

  Mysurpriseatseeingthisfamilyatsuchatimeandplacemaybeimagined。Mdlle。X。C。V。sawmedirectly,andpointedmeouttohermother,whomadeasigntomewithherfantocometotheirbox。

  Shereceivedmeinthefriendliestmannerpossible,tellingmethatwewerenotatVenicenow,andthatshehopedIwouldoftencomeandseethematthe\"HoteldeBretagne,\"intheRueSt。AndredesArts。

  ItoldthemthatIdidnotwishtorecallanyeventswhichmighthavehappenedatVenice,andherdaughterhavingjoinedherentreatiestothoseofhermother,Ipromisedtoaccepttheirinvitation。

  Mdlle。X。C。V。struckmeasprettierthanever;andmylove,aftersleepingforfiveyears,awoketofreshstrengthandvigour。TheytoldmethattheyweregoingtopasssixmonthsatParisbeforereturningtoVenice。InreturnIinformedthemthatIintendedmakingParismyhome,thatIhadjustleftHolland,thatIwasgoingtoVersaillesthenextday,sothatIcouldnotpaymyrespectstothemtillthedayafter。Ialsobeggedthemtoacceptmyservices,inamannerwhichletthemknowIwasapersonofsomeimportance。

  Mdlle。X。C。V。saidthatshewasawarethattheresultsofmyDutchmissionshouldrendermedeartoFrance,thatshehadalwayslivedinhopesofseeingmeoncemore,thatmyfamousflightfromTheLeadshaddelightedthem;\"for,\"sheadded,\"wehavealwaysbeenfondofyou。\"

  \"Ifancyyourmotherhaskeptherfondnessformeverymuchtoherself,\"Iwhisperedtoher。

  \"Wewon’tsayanythingaboutthat,\"saidsheinthesametone。\"WelearntallthecircumstancesofyourwonderfulflightfromaletterofsixteenpagesyouwrotetoM。Memmo。Wetrembledwithjoyandshudderedwithfearaswereadit。\"

  \"HowdidyouknowIhavebeeninHolland?\"

  \"M。delaPopelinieretoldusaboutityesterday。\"

  M。delaPopeliniere,thefermier—general,whomIhadknownsevenyearsagoatPassi,cameintotheboxjustashisnamewasspoken。

  AftercomplimentingmehesaidthatifIcouldcarrythroughthesameoperationfortheIndiaCompanymyfortunewouldbemade。

  \"Myadvicetoyouis,\"hesaid,\"togetyourselfnaturalizedbeforeitbecomesgenerallyknownthatyouhavemadehalfamillionofmoney。\"

  \"Halfamillion!IonlywishIhad!\"

  \"Youmusthavemadethatatthelowestcalculation。\"

  \"Onthecontrary,Igiveyoumyassurance,thatifmyclaimforbrokerageisnotallowed,thetransactionwillproveabsolutelyruinoustome。\"

  \"Ah!nodoubtyouarerighttotakethattone。Meanwhile,everyonewantstomakeyouracquaintance,forFranceisdeeplyindebtedtoyou。Youhavecausedthefundstorecoverinaverymarkeddegree。\"

  AftertheplaywasoverIwenttoSilvia’s,whereIwasreceivedasifIhadbeenthefavouritechildofthefamily;butontheotherhandIgavethemcertainproofsthatIwishedtoberegardedinthatlight。IwasimpressedwiththeideathattotheirunshakenfriendshipIowedallmygoodluck,andImadethefather,mother,thedaughter,andthetwosons,receivethepresentsIhadgotforthem。Thebestwasforthemother,whohandeditontoherdaughter。

  Itwasapairofdiamondear—ringsofgreatbeauty,forwhichIhadgivenfifteenthousandfrancs。ThreedaysafterIsentheraboxcontainingfinelinenfromHolland,andchoiceMechlinandAlenconlace。Mario,wholikedsmoking,gotagoldpipe;thefatherachoicegoldandenamelledsnuff—box,andIgavearepeatertotheyoungerson,ofwhomIwasveryfond。Ishallhaveoccasionlaterontospeakofthislad,whosenaturalqualitieswerefarsuperiortohispositioninlife。But,youwillask,wasIrichenoughtomakesuchpresents?No,Iwasnot,andIknewitperfectlywell;butIgavethesepresentsbecauseIwasafraidofnotbeingabletodosoifI

  waited。

  IsetoutforVersaillesatday—break,andM。deChoiseulreceivedmeasbefore,hishairwasbeingdressed,butforamomenthelaiddownhispen,whichshewedthatIhadbecomeapersonofgreaterimportanceinhiseyes。Afteraslightbutgratefulcompliment,hetoldmethatifIthoughtmyselfcapableofnegotiatingaloanofahundredmillionstobearinterestatfourpercent。,hewoulddoallinhispowertohelpme。MyanswerwasthatIwouldthinkitoverwhenIheardhowmuchIwastohaveforwhatIhaddonealready。

  \"Buteverybodysaysthatyouhavemadetwohundredthousandflorinsbyit。\"

  \"Thatwouldnotbesobad;halfamillionoffrancswouldbeafairfoundationonwhichtobuildafortune;butIcanassureyourexcellencethatthereisnotawordoftruthinthereport。Idefyanyonetoproveit;andtillsomesubstantialproofisoffered,I

  thinkIcanlayclaimtobrokerage。\"

  \"True,true。Gotothecomptroller—generalandstateyourviewstohim。\"

  M。deBoulognestoppedtheoccupationonwhichhewasengagedtogivemeamostfriendlygreeting,butwhenIsaidthatheowedmeahundredthousandflorinshesmiledsardonically。

  \"Ihappentoknow,\"hesaid,\"thatyouhavebillsofexchangetotheamountofahundredthousandcrownspayabletoyourself。\"

  \"Certainly,butthatmoneyhasnoconnectionwithmymission,asI

  canprovetoyoubyreferringyoutoM。d’Afri。Ihaveinmyheadaninfallibleprojectforincreasingtherevenuebytwentymillions,inamannerwhichwillcausenoirritation。\"

  \"Youdon’tsayso!Communicateyourplan,andIpromisetogetyouapensionofahundredthousandfrancs,andlettersofnobilityaswell,ifyouliketobecomeaFrenchman。\"

  \"Iwillthinkitover。\"

  OnleavingM。deBoulogneIwenttothePalace,whereaballetwasgoingonbeforetheMarquisedePompadour。

  Shebowedtomeassoonasshesawme,andonmyapproachinghershetoldmethatIwasanablefinancier,andthatthe\"gentlemenbelow\"

  couldnotappreciatemymerits。ShehadnotforgottenwhatIhadsaidtohereightyearsbeforeinthetheatreatFontainebleau。I

  repliedthatallgoodgiftswerefromabove,whither,withherhelp,Ihopedtoattain。

  OnmyreturntoParisIwenttothe\"HotelBourbon\"toinformmypatronoftheresultofmyjourney。HisadvicetomewastocontinuetoservetheGovernmentwell,asitsgoodfortunewouldcometobemine。OnmytellinghimofmymeetingwiththeX。C。V。’s,hesaidthatM。delaPopelinierewasgoingtomarrytheelderdaughter。

  WhenIgottomyhousemysonwasnowheretobefound。Mylandladytoldmethatagreatladyhadcometocallonmylord,andthatshehadtakenhimawaywithher。GuessingthatthiswasMadamed’Urfe,I

  wenttobedwithouttroublingmyselfanyfurther。Earlynextmorningmyclerkbroughtmealetter。Itcamefromtheoldattorney,uncletoGaetan’swife,whomIhadhelpedtoescapefromthejealousfuryofherbrutalhusband。Theattorneybeggedmetocomeandspeaktohimatthecourts,ortomakeanappointmentatsomeplacewherehecouldseeme。Iwenttothecourtsandfoundhimthere。

  \"Myniece,\"hebegan,\"foundherselfobligedtogointoaconvent;

  andfromthisvantagegroundsheispleadingagainstherhusband,withtheaidofabarrister,whowillberesponsibleforthecosts。

  However,towinourcase,werequiretheevidenceofyourself,CountTiretta,andotherservantswhowitnessedthesceneattheinn。\"

  IdidallIcould,andfourmonthsafterwardsGaetansimplifiedmattersbyafraudulentbankruptcy,whichobligedhimtoleaveFrance:induetimeandplace,Ishallhavesomethingmoretosayabouthim。Asforhiswife,whowasyoungandpretty,shepaidhercounselinlove’smoney,andwasveryhappywithhim,andmaybehappystillforallIknow,butIhaveentirelylostsightofher。

  AftermyinterviewwiththeoldattorneyIwenttoMadame————toseeTiretta,whowasout。Madamewasstillinlovewithhim,andhecontinuedtomakeavirtueofnecessity。Ileftmyaddress,andwenttothe\"HoteldeBretagne\"topaymyfirstcallonMadameX。C。V。

  Thelady,thoughshewasnotoverfondofme,receivedmewithgreatpoliteness。Ipossiblycutabetterfigureinhereyeswhenrich,andatParis,thenwhenwewereinVenice。Weallknowthatdiamondshavethestrangepoweroffascination,andthattheyformanexcellentsubstituteforvirtue!

  MadameX。C。V。hadwithheranoldGreeknamedZandiri,brothertoM。deBragadin’smajor—domo,whowasjustdead。Iutteredsomeexpressionsofsympathy,andtheboordidnottakethetroubletoanswerme,butIwasavengedforhisfoolishstiffnessbytheenthusiasmwithwhichIwaswelcomedbyeveryoneelse。Theeldestgirl,hersisters,andthetwosons,almostoverwhelmedmewithfriendliness。Theeldestsonwasonlyfourteen,andwasayoungfellowofcharmingmanners,butevidentlyextremelyindependent,andsighedforthetimewhenhewouldbeabletodevotehimselftoacareerofprofligacyforwhichhewaswellfitted。Mdlle。X。C。V。

  wasbothbeautifulandcharminginhermanner,andhadreceivedanexcellenteducationofwhich,however,shemadenoparade。Onecouldnotstayinherpresencewithoutlovingher,butshewasnoflirt,andIsoonsawthatsheheldoutnovainhopestothosewhohadthemisfortunenottopleaseher。Withoutbeingrudesheknewhowtobecold,anditwasalltheworseforthosewhomhercoldnessdidnotshewthattheirquestwasuseless。

  ThefirsthourIpassedinhercompanychainedmeacaptivetohertriumphantcar。Itoldherasmuch,andsherepliedthatshewasgladtohavesuchacaptive。ShetooktheplaceinmyheartwhereEstherhadreignedaweekbefore,butIfreelyconfessthatEstheryieldedonlybecauseshewasaway。AstomyattachmenttoSylvia’sdaughter,itwasofsuchanatureasnottohindermefallinginlovewithanyotherwomanwhochancedtotakemyfancy。Inthelibertine’sheartlovecannotexistwithoutsubstantialfood,andwomenwhohavehadsomeexperienceoftheworldarewellawareofthisfact。TheyouthfulBalettiwasabeginner,andsoknewnothingofthesethings。

  M。Farsetti,aVenetianofnoblebirth,aknightofMalta,agreatstudentoftheoccultsciences,andagoodLatinversifier,cameinatoneo’clock。DinnerwasjustreadyandMadameX。C。V。beggedhimtostay。Sheaskedmealsotodinewiththem,butwishingtodinewithMadamed’UrfeIrefusedtheinvitationforthenonce。

  M。Farsetti,whohadknownmeverywellatVenice,onlynoticedmebyaside—glance,andwithoutshewinganyvexationIpaidhimbackinthesamecoin。HesmiledatMdlle。X。C。V。’spraiseofmycourage。

  Shenoticedhisexpression,andasiftopunishhimforitwentontosaythatIhadnowtheadmirationofeveryVenetian,andthattheFrenchwereanxioustohavethehonourofcallingmeafellow—

  citizen。M。Farsettiaskedmeifmypostatthelotterypaidwell。I

  replied,coolly,\"Oh,yes,wellenoughformetopaymyclerks’salaries。\"

  Heunderstoodthedriftofmyreply,andMdlle。X。C。V。smiled。

  IfoundmysupposedsonwithMadamed’Urfe,orratherinthatamiablevisionary’sarms。Shehastenedtoapologizeforcarryinghimoff,andIturneditoffwithajest,havingnoothercoursetotake。

  \"Imadehimsleepwithme,\"shesaid,\"butIshallbeobligedtodeprivemyselfofthisprivilegeforthefuture,unlesshepromisestobemorediscreet。\"

  Ithoughttheideaagrandone,andthelittlefellow,inspiteofhisblushes,beggedhertosayhowhehadoffended。

  \"WeshallhavetheComtedeSt。Germain,\"saidMadamed’Urfe,\"todinner。Iknowheamusesyou,andIlikeyoutoenjoyyourselfinmyhouse。\"

  \"Forthat,madam,yourpresenceisallIneed;nevertheless,Ithankyouforconsideringme。\"

  InduecourseSt。Germainarrived,andinhisusualmannersathimselfdown,nottoeatbuttotalk。Withafaceofimperturbablegravityhetoldthemostincrediblestories,whichonehadtopretendtobelieve,ashewasalwayseithertheheroofthetaleoraneyewitnessoftheevent。Allthesame,IcouldnothelpburstingintolaughterwhenhetoldusofsomethingthathappenedashewasdiningwiththeFathersoftheCouncilofTrent。

  Madamed’Urfeworeonherneckalargemagnet。Shesaidthatitwouldonedayhappenthatthismagnetwouldattractthelightning,andthatshewouldconsequentlysoarintothesun。Ilongedtotellherthatwhen,shegotthereshecouldbenohigherupthanontheearth,butIrestrainedmyself;andthegreatcharlatanhastenedtosaythattherecouldbenodoubtaboutit,andthathe,andheonly,couldincreasetheforceofthemagnetathousandtimes。Isaid,dryly,thatIwouldwagertwentythousandcrownshewouldnotsomuchasdoubleitsforce,butMadamed’Urfewouldnotletusbet,andafterdinnershetoldmeinprivatethatIshouldhavelost,asSt。

  Germainwasamagician。OfcourseIagreedwithher。

  Afewdayslater,themagiciansetoutforChambord,wherethekinghadgivenhimasuiteofroomsandahundredthousandfrancs,thathemightbeatlibertytoworkonthedyeswhichweretoassurethesuperiorityofFrenchmaterialsoverthoseofanyothercountry。St。

  Germainhadgotoverthekingbyarrangingalaboratorywhereheoccasionallytriedtoamusehimself,thoughheknewlittleaboutchemistry,butthekingwasthevictimofanalmostuniversalweariness。Toenjoyaharemrecruitedfromamongstthemostravishingbeauties,andoftenfromtheranksofneophytes,withwhompleasurehaditsdifficulties,onewouldhaveneededtobeagod,andLouisXV。wasonlyamanafterall。

  Itwasthefamousmarquisewhohadintroducedtheadepttothekinginthehopeofhisdistractingthemonarch’sweariness,bygivinghimatasteforchemistry。IndeedMadamedePompadourwasundertheimpressionthatSt。Germainhadgivenherthewaterofperpetualyouth,andthereforefeltobligedtomakethechemistagoodreturn。

  Thiswondrouswater,takenaccordingtothecharlatan’sdirections,couldnotindeedmakeoldageretireandgivewaytoyouth,butaccordingtothemarquiseitwouldpreserveoneinstatuquoforseveralcenturies。

  Asamatteroffact,thewater,orthegiverofit,hadworkedwonders,ifnotonherbody,atleastonhermind;sheassuredthekingthatshewasnotgettingolder。Thekingwasasmuchdeludedbythisgrandimpostorasshewas,foronedayheshewedtheDucdesDeux—Pontsadiamondofthefirstwater,weighingtwelvecarats,whichhefanciedhehadmadehimself。\"Imelteddown,\"saidLouisXV。,\"smalldiamondsweighingtwenty—fourcarats,andobtainedthisonelargeoneweighingtwelve。\"ThusitcametopassthattheinfatuatedmonarchgavetheimpostorthesuiteformerlyoccupiedbyMarshalSaxe。TheDucdesDeux—Pontstoldmethisstorywithhisownlips,oneevening,whenIwassuppingwithhimandaSwede,theComtedeLevenhoop,atMetz。

  BeforeIleftMadamed’Urfe,Itoldherthattheladmightbehewhoshouldmakehertobebornagain,butthatshewouldspoilallifshedidnotwaitforhimtoattaintheageofpuberty。Afterwhatshehadsaidabouthismisbehavior,thereaderwillguesswhatmademesaythis。ShesenthimtoboardwithViar,gavehimmastersoneverything,anddisguisedhimunderthenameoftheComted’Aranda,althoughhewasbornatBayreuth,andthoughhismotherneverhadanythingtodowithaSpaniardofthatname。ItwasthreeorfourmonthsbeforeIwenttoseehim,asIwasafraidofbeinginsultedonaccountofthenamewhichthevisionaryMadamed’Urfehadgivenhim。

  OnedayTirettacametoseemeinafinecoach。Hetoldmethathiselderlymistresswantedtobecomehiswife,butthathewouldnothearofit,thoughsheofferedtoendowhimwithallherworldlygoods。Itoldhimthatifhegaveinhemightpayhisdebts,returntoTrevisa,andlivepleasantlythere;buthisdestinywouldnotallowhimtotakemyadvice。

  Ihadresolvedontakingacountryhouse,andfixedononecalled\"LittlePoland,\"whichpleasedmebetterthanalltheothersIhadseen。Itwaswellfurnished,andwasahundredpacesdistantfromtheMadeleineGate。Itwassituatedonslightlyelevatedgroundneartheroyalpark,behindtheDucdeGrammont’sgarden,anditsownerhadgivenitthenameof\"PleasantWarsaw。\"Ithadtwogardens,oneofwhichwasonalevelwiththefirstfloor,threereceptionrooms,largestables,coachhouses,baths,agoodcellar,andasplendidkitchen。Themasterwascalled\"TheButterKing,\"andalwayswrotehimselfdownso;thenamehadbeengiventohimbyLouisXV。onthemonarch’sstoppingatthehouseandlikingthebutter。The\"ButterKing\"letmehishouseforahundredLouisperannum,andhegavemeanexcellentcookcalled\"ThePearl,\"atrueblue—ribbonoftheorderofcooks,andtoherhegavechargeofallhisfurnitureandtheplateIshouldwantforadinnerofsixpersons,engagingtogetmeasmuchplateasIwantedatthehireofasousanounce。HealsopromisedtoletmehavewhatwineIwanted,andsaidallhehadwasofthebest,and,moreover,cheaperthanIcouldgetitatParis,ashehadnogate—moneytopayonit。

  Mattershavingbeenarrangedontheseterms,inthecourseofaweekIgotagoodcoachman,twofinecarriages,fivehorses,agroom,andtwofootmen。Madamed’Urfe,whowasmyfirstguest,wasdelightedwithmynewabode,andassheimaginedthatIhaddoneitallforher,Ileftherinthatflatteringopinion。Inevercouldbelieveinthemoralityofsnatchingfrompoormortalmanthedelusionswhichmakethemhappy。Ialsoletherretainthenotionthatyoungd’Aranda,thecountofherownmaking,wasascionofthenobility,thathewasbornforamysteriousoperationunknowntotherestofmankind,thatIwasonlyhiscaretaker(hereIspokethetruth),andthathemustdieandyetnotceasetolive。Allthesewhimsicalideasweretheproductsofherbrain,whichwasonlyoccupiedwiththeimpossible,andIthoughtthebestthingIcoulddowastoagreewitheverything。IfIhadtriedtoundeceiveher,shewouldhaveaccusedmeofwantoftrustinher,forshewasconvincedthatallherknowledgewasrevealedtoherbyhergenius,whospoketoheronlybynight。AftershehaddinedwithmeItookherbacktoherhouse,fullofhappiness。

  Camillesentmealotteryticket,whichshehadinvestedinatmyoffice,andwhichprovedtobeawinningone,Ithink,forathousandcrownsorthereabouts。Sheaskedmetocomeandsupwithher,andbringthemoneywithme。Iacceptedherinvitation,andfoundhersurroundedbyallthegirlssheknewandtheirlovers。AftersupperIwasaskedtogototheoperawiththem,butwehadscarcelygottherewhenIlostmypartyinthecrowd。Ihadnomaskon,andI

  soonfoundmyselfattackedbyablackdomino,whomIknewtobeawoman,andasshetoldmeahundredtruthsaboutmyselfinafalsettovoice,Iwasinterested,anddeterminedonfindingoutwhoshewas。

  AtlastIsucceededinpersuadinghertocomewithmeintoabox,andassoonaswewereinandIhadtakenoffhermaskIwasastonishedtofindshewasMdlle。X。C。V。

  \"Ihavecometotheball,\"saidshe,\"withoneofmysisters,myelderbrother,andM。Farsetti。Ileftthemtogointoaboxandchangemydomino:

  \"Theymustfeelveryuneasy。\"

  \"Idaresaytheydo,butIamnotgoingtotakepityonthemtilltheendoftheball。\"

  Findingmyselfalonewithher,andcertainofhavingherinmycompanyfortherestofthenight,Ibegantotalkofouroldlove—

  making;andItookcaretosaythatIwasmoreinlovewithherthanever。Shelistenedtomekindly,didnotopposemyembraces,andbythefewobstaclessheplacedinmywayIjudgedthatthehappymomentwasnotfaroff。NeverthelessIfeltthatImustpracticerestraintthatevening,andsheletmeseethatshewasobligedtome。

  \"IheardatVersailles,mydearmademoiselle,thatyouaregoingtomarryM。delaPopeliniere。\"

  \"Sotheysay。Mymotherwishesmetodoso,andtheoldfinancierfancieshehasgotmeinhistalonsalready;buthemakesamistake,asIwillneverconsenttosuchathing。\"

  \"Heisold,butheisveryrich。\"

  \"Heisveryrichandverygenerous,forhepromisesmeadowryofamillionifIbecomeawidowwithoutchildren;andifIhadasonhewouldleavemeallhisproperty。\"

  \"Youwouldn’thavemuchdifficultyincomplyingwiththesecondalternative。\"

  \"Ishallneverhaveanythingtodowithhismoney,forIshouldnevermakemylifemiserablebyamarriagewithamanwhomIdonotlove,whileIdoloveanother。\"

  \"Another!Whoisthefortunatemortaltowhomyouhavegivenyourheart’streasure?\"

  \"Idonotknowifmylovedoneisfortunate。MyloverisaVenetian,andmymotherknowsofit;butshesaysthatIshouldnotbehappy,thatheisnotworthyofme。\"

  \"Yourmotherisastrangewoman,alwayscrossingyouraffections。\"

  \"Icannotbeangrywithher。Shemaypossiblybewrong,butshecertainlylovesme。ShewouldratherthatIshouldmarryM。

  Farsetti,whowouldbeverygladtohaveme,butIdetesthim。\"

  \"Hashemadeadeclarationinterms?\"

  \"Hehas,andallthemarksofcontemptIhavegivenhimseemtohavenoeffect。\"

  \"Heclingshardtohope;butthetruthisyouhavefascinatedhim。\"

  \"Possibly,butIdonotthinkhimsusceptibleofanytenderorgenerousfeeling。Heisavisionary;surly,jealous,andenviousinhisdisposition。Whenheheardmeexpressingmyselfaboutyouinthemanneryoudeserve,hehadtheimpudencetosaytomymotherbeforemyfacethatsheoughtnottoreceiveyou。\"

  \"HedeservesthatIshouldgivehimalessoninmanners,butthereareotherwaysinwhichhemaybepunished。IshallbedelightedtoserveyouinanywayIcan。\"

  \"Alas!ifIcouldonlycountonyourfriendshipIshouldbehappy。\"

  Thesighwithwhichsheutteredthesewordssentfirethroughmyveins,andItoldherthatIwasherdevotedslave;thatIhadfiftythousandcrownswhichwereatherservice,andthatIwouldriskmylifetowinherfavours。Sherepliedthatshewastrulygratefultome,andasshethrewherarmsaboutmyneckourlipsmet,butIsawthatshewasweeping,soItookcarethatthefirewhichherkissesraisedshouldbekeptwithinbounds。Shebeggedmetocomeandseeheroften,promisingthatasoftenasshecouldmanageitweshouldbealone。Icouldasknomore,andafterIhadpromisedtocomeanddinewiththemonthemorrow,weparted。

  Ipassedanhourinwalkingbehindher,enjoyingmynewpositionofintimatefriend,andIthenreturnedtomyLittlePoland。Itwasashortdistance,forthoughIlivedinthecountryIcouldgettoanypartofParisinaquarterofanhour。Ihadaclevercoachman,andcapitalhorsesnotusedtobeingspared。Igotthemfromtheroyalstables,andassoonasIlostoneIgotanotherfromthesameplace,havingtopaytwohundredfrancs。Thishappenedtomeseveraltimes,for,tomymind,goingfastisoneofthegreatestpleasureswhichParisoffers。

  HavingacceptedaninvitationtodinnerattheX。C。V。’s,Ididnotgivemyselfmuchtimeforsleep,andIwentoutonfootwithacloakon。Thesnowwasfallinginlargeflakes,andwhenIgottomadame’sIwasaswhiteasasheetfromheadtofoot。Shegavemeaheartywelcome,laughing,andsayingthatherdaughterhadbeentellingherhowshehadpuzzledme,andthatshewasdelightedtoseemecometodinnerwithoutceremony。\"But,\"addedshe,\"it’sFridaytoday,andyouwillhavetofast,though,afterall,thefishisverygood。

  Dinnerisnotreadyyet。Youhadbettergoandseemydaughter,whoisstilla—bed。\"

  Asmaybeimagined,thisinvitationhadnottoberepeated,foraprettywomanlooksbetterinbedthananywhereelse。IfoundMdlle。

  X。C。V。sittingupinbedwriting,butshestoppedassoonasshesawme。

  \"Howisthis,sweetlie—a—bed,notupyet?\"

  \"Yes,IamstayinginbedpartlybecauseIfeellazy,andpartlybecauseIamfreerhere。\"

  \"Iwasafraidyouwerenotquitewell。\"

  \"NoramI。However,wewillsaynomoreaboutthatnow。Iamjustgoingtotakesomesoup,asthosewhofoolishlyestablishtheinstitutionoffastingwerenotpoliteenoughtoaskmyopiniononthesubject。Itdoesnotagreewithmyhealth,andIdon’tlikeit,soIamnotgoingtogetupeventositattable,thoughIshallthusdeprivemyselfofyoursociety。\"

  Inaturallytoldherthatinherabsencedinnerwouldhavenosavour;

  andIspokethetruth。

  Asthepresenceofhersisterdidnotdisturbus,shetookoutofherpocket—bookanepistleinversewhichIhadaddressedtoherwhenhermotherhadforbiddenmethehouse。\"Thisfatalletter,\"saidshe,\"whichyoucalled’ThePhoenix,’hasshapedmylifeandmayprovethecauseofmydeath。\"

  IhadcalleditthePhoenixbecause,afterbewailingmyunhappylot,IproceededtopredicthowshewouldafterwardsgiveherhearttoamortalwhosequalitieswouldmakehimdeservethenameofPhoenix。A

  hundredlinesweretakenupinthedescriptionoftheseimaginarymentalandmoralcharacteristics,andcertainlythebeingwhoshouldhavethemallwouldberightworthyofworship,forhewouldberatheragodthanaman。

  \"Alas!\"saidMdlle。X。C。V。,\"Ifellinlovewiththisimaginarybeing,andfeelingcertainthatsuchanonemustexistIsetmyselftolookforhim。AftersixmonthsIthoughtIhadfoundhim。Igavehimmyheart,Ireceivedhis,welovedeachotherfondly。Butforthelastfourmonthswehavebeenseparated,andduringthewholetimeIhaveonlyhadoneletterfromhim。YetImustnotblamehim,forIknowhecannothelpit。Such,ismysorryfate:Icanneitherhearfromhimnorwritetohim:\"

  Thisstorywasaconfirmationofatheoryofminenamely,thatthemostimportanteventsinourlivesproceedoftenfromthemosttriflingcauses。Myepistlewasnothingbetterthananumberoflinesofpoetrymoreorlesswellwritten,andthebeingIhaddelineatedwascertainlynottobefound,ashesurpassedbyfarallhumanperfections,butawoman’shearttravelssoquicklyandsofar!

  Mdlle。X。C。V。tookthethingliterally,andfellinlovewithachimeraofgoodness,andthenwasfaintoturnthisintoareallover,notthinkingofthevastdifferencebetweentheidealandthereal。Forallthat,whenshethoughtthatshehadfoundtheoriginalofmyfancyportrait,shehadnodifficultyinendowinghimwithallthegoodqualitiesIhadpictured。OfcourseMdlle。X。C。V。wouldhavefalleninloveifIhadneverwrittenheraletterinverse,butshewouldhavedonesoinadifferentmanner,andprobablywithdifferentresults。

  AssoonasdinnerwasservedweweresummonedtodojusticetothechoicefishwhichM。delaPopelinierehadprovided。MadameX。C。V。

  anarrowmindedGreek,wasnaturallybigotedandsuperstitious。Inthemindofasillywomantheideaofanalliancebetweenthemostoppositeofbeings,GodandtheDevil,seemsquitenatural。Apriesthadtoldherthat,sinceshehadconvertedherhusband,hersalvationwassecure,fortheScripturessolemnlypromisedasoulforasoultoeveryonewhowouldleadahereticoraheathenwithinthefoldofthechurch。AndasMadameX。C。V。hadconvertedherhusband,shefeltnoanxietyaboutthelifeoftheworldtocome,asshehaddoneallthatwasnecessary。However,sheatefishonthedaysappointed;

  thereasonbeingthatshepreferredittoflesh。

  Dinnerover,Ireturnedtothelady’sbedside,andtherestayedtillnearlynineo’clock,keepingmypassionswellundercontrolallthetime。Iwasfoppishenoughtothinkthatherfeelingswereaslivelyasmine,andIdidnotcaretoshewmyselflessself—restrainedthanshe,thoughIknewthen,asIknownow,thatthiswasafalselineofargument。Itisthesamewithopportunityaswithfortune;onemustseizethemwhentheycometous,orelsetheygoby,oftentoreturnnomore。

  NotseeingFarsettiatthetable,Isuspectedtherehadbeenaquarrel,andIaskedmysweetheartaboutit;butshetoldmeIwasmistakeninsupposingtheyhadquarreledwithhim,andthatthereasonofhisabsencewasthathewouldneverleavehishouseonaFriday。Thedeludedmanhadhadhishoroscopedrawn,andlearningbyitthathewouldbeassassinatedonaFridayheresolvedalwaystoshuthimselfuponthatday。Hewaslaughedat,butpersistedinthesamecoursetillhediedfouryearsagoattheageofseventy。Hethoughttoprovebythesuccessofhisprecautionsthataman’sdestinydependsonhisdiscretion,andontheprecautionshetakestoavoidthemisfortunesofwhichhehashadwarning。Thelineofargumentholdsgoodinallcasesexceptwhenthemisfortunesarepredictedinahoroscope;foreithertheillspredictedareavoidable,inwhichcasethehoroscopeisauselesspieceoffolly,orelsethehoroscopeistheinterpreterofdestiny,inwhichcasealltheprecautionsintheworldareofnoavail。TheChevalierFarsettiwasthereforeafooltoimaginehehadprovedanythingatall。HewouldhaveprovedagooddealformanypeopleifhehadgoneoutonaFriday,andhadchancedtohavebeenassassinated。PicasdelaMirandola,whobelievedinastrology,says,\"Ihavenodoubttruly,’Astrainfluunt,noncogunt’。\"Butwouldithavebeenarealproofofthetruthofastrology,ifFarsettihadbeenassassinatedonaFriday?Inmyopinion,certainlynot。

  TheComted’Eigrevillehadintroducedmetohissister,theComtesseduRemain,whohadbeenwantingtomakemyacquaintanceeversinceshehadheardofmyoracle。ItwasnotlongbeforeImadefriendswithherhusbandandhertwodaughters,theelderofwhom,nicknamed\"Cotenfau,\"marriedM。dePolignaclateron。MadameduRemainwashandsomeratherthanpretty,butshewontheloveofallbyherkindness,herfrankcourtesy,andhereagernesstobeofservicetoherfriends。Shehadamagnificentfigure,andwouldhaveawedthewholebenchofjudgesifshehadpleadedbeforethem。

  AtherhouseIgottoknowMesdamesdeValbelleanddeRancerolles,thePrincessdeChimai,andmanyotherswhoweretheninthebestsocietyofParis。AlthoughMadameduRemainwasnotaproficientintheoccultsciences,shehadneverthelessconsultedmyoraclemorefrequentlythanMadamed’Urfe。ShewasoftheutmostservicetomeinconnectionwithanunhappycircumstanceofwhichIshallspeakpresently。

  ThedayaftermylongconversationwithMdlle。X。C。V。,myservanttoldmethattherewasayoungmanwaitingwhowantedtogivemealetterwithhisownhands。Ihadhimin,andonmyaskinghimfromwhomthelettercame,herepliedthatIshouldfindallparticularsintheletter,andthathehadorderstowaitforananswer。Theepistleranasfollows:

  \"Iamwritingthisattwoo’clockinthemorning。Iamwearyandinneedofrest,butaburdenonmysouldeprivesmeofsleep。ThesecretIamabouttotellyouwillnolongerbesogrievouswhenI

  haveconfidedinyou;Ishallfeeleasedbyplacingitinyourbreast。Iamwithchild,andmysituationdrivesmetodespair。I

  wasobligedtowritetoyoubecauseIfeltIcouldnotsayit。Givemeawordinreply。\"

  Myfeelingsonreadingtheabovemaybeguessed。Iwaspetrifiedwithastonishmentandcouldonlywrite,\"Iwillbewithyouateleveno’clock。\"

  Nooneshouldsaythathehaspassedthroughgreatmisfortunesunlesstheyhaveprovedtoogreatforhismindtobear。TheconfidenceofMdlle。X。C。V。shewedmethatshewasinneedofsupport。I

  congratulatedmyselfonhavingthepreference,andIvowedtodomybestforherdiditcostmemylife。Thesewerethethoughtsofalover,butforallthatIcouldnotconcealfrommyselftheimprudenceofthestepshehadtaken。Insuchcasesasthesethereisalwaysthechoicebetweenspeakingorwriting,andtheonlyfeelingwhichcangivethepreferencetowritingisfalseshame,atbottommerecowardice。IfIhadnotbeeninlovewithher,Ishouldhavefounditeasiertohaverefusedmyaidinwritingthanifshehadspokentome,butIlovedhertodistraction。

  \"Yes,\"saidItomyself,\"shecancountonme。Hermishapmakesherallthedearertome。\"

  Andbelowthistherewasanothervoice,avoicewhichwhisperedtomethatifIsucceededinsavinghermyrewardwassure。Iamwellawarethatmorethanonegravemoralistwillflingstonesatmeforthisavowal,butmyansweristhatsuchmencannotbeinloveasI

  was。

  Iwaspunctualtomyappointment,andfoundthefairunfortunateatthedoorofthehotel。

  \"Youaregoingout,areyou?Whereareyougoing?\"

  \"IamgoingtomassattheChurchoftheAugustinians。\"

  \"Isthisasaint’sday?\"

  \"No;butmymothermakesmegoeveryday。\"

  \"Iwillcomewithyou。\"

  \"Yesdo,givemeyourarm;wewillgointothecloistersandtalkthere。\"

  Mdlle。X。C。V。wasaccompaniedbyhermaid,butsheknewbetterthantobeintheway,soweleftherinthecloisters。Assoonaswewerealoneshesaidtome,\"Haveyoureadmyletter?\"

  \"Yes,ofcourse;hereitis,burnityourself。\"

  \"No,keepit,anddosowithyourownhands。\"

  \"Iseeyoutrustinme,andIassureyouIwillnotabuseyourtrust。\"

  \"Iamsureyouwillnot。Iamfourmonthswithchild;Icandoubtitnolonger,andthethoughtmaddensme!\"

  \"Comfortyourself,wewillfindsomewaytogetoverit。\"

  \"Yes;Ileavealltoyou。Youmustprocureanabortion。\"

  \"Never,dearest!thatisacrime!\"

  \"Alas!Iknowthatwell;butitisnotagreatercrimethansuicide,andthereliesmychoice:eithertodestroythewretchedwitnessofmyshame,ortopoisonmyself。ForthelatteralternativeIhaveeverythingready。Youaremyonlyfriend,anditisforyoutodecidewhichitshallbe。Speaktome!AreyouangrythatIhavenotgonetotheChevalierFarsettibeforeyou?\"

  Shesawmyastonishment,andstoppedshort,andtriedtowipeawaythetearswhichescapedfromhereyes。Myheartbledforher。

  \"Layingthequestionofcrimeononeside,\"saidI,\"abortionisoutofourpower。Ifthemeansemployedarenotviolenttheyareuncertain,andiftheyareviolenttheyaredangeroustothemother。

  Iwillneverriskbecomingyourexecutioner;butreckononme,Iwillnotforsakeyou。Yourhonourisasdeartomeasyourlife。Becalm,andhenceforththinkthattheperilismine,notyours。MakeupyourmindthatIshallfindsomewayofescape,andthattherewillbenoneedtocutshortthatlife,topreservewhichIwouldgladlydie。

  AndallowmetosaythatwhenIreadyournoteIfeltglad,Icouldnothelpit,thatatsuchanemergencyyouchosemebeforeallotherstobeyourhelper。Youwillfindthatyourtrustwasnotgiveninvain,fornoonelovesyouaswellasI,andnooneissofaintohelpyou。LateryoushallbegintotaketheremediesIwillgetforyou,butIwarnyoutobeonyourguard,forthisisaseriousmatter——oneoflifeanddeath。Possiblyyouhavealreadytoldsomebodyaboutit——yourmaidoroneofyoursisters?\"

  \"Ihavenottoldanybodybutyou,noteventheauthorofmyshame。

  ItremblewhenIthinkwhatmymotherwoulddoandsayifshefoundoutmysituation。Iamafraidshewilldrawherconclusionsfrommyshape。\"

  \"Sofarthereisnothingtobeobservedinthatdirection,thebeautyoftheoutlinestillremainsintact。\"

  \"Buteverydayincreasesitssize,andforthatreasonwemustbequickinwhatwedo。Youmustfindasurgeonwhodoesnotknowmynameandtakemetohimtobebled。\"

  \"Iwillnotruntherisk,itmightleadtothediscoveryofthewholeaffair。Iwillbleedyoumyself;itisasimpleoperation。\"

  \"HowgratefulIamtoyou!Ifeelasifyouhadalreadybroughtmefromdeathtolife。WhatIshouldlikeyoutodowouldbetotakemetoamidwife’s。Wecaneasilygowithoutattractinganynoticeatthefirstballattheopera。\"

  \"Yes,sweetheart,butthatstepisnotnecessary,anditmightleadtoourbetrayal。\"

  \"No,no,inthisgreattowntherearemidwivesineveryquarter,andweshouldneverbeknown;wemightkeepourmasksonallthetime。

  Domethiskindness。Amidwife’sopinioniscertainlyworthhaving。\"

  Icouldnotrefuseherrequest,butImadeheragreetowaittillthelastball,asthecrowdwasalwaysgreater,andwehadabetterchanceofgoingoutfreefromobservation。IpromisedtobethereinablackdominowithawhitemaskintheVenetianfashion,andarosepaintedbesidethelefteye。Assoonasshesawmegooutshewastofollowmeintoacarriage。Allthiswascarriedout,butmoreofitanon。

  Ireturnedwithher,anddinedwiththemwithouttakinganynoticeofFarsetti,whowasalsoatthetable,andhadseenmecomebackfrommasswithher。Wedidnotspeakawordtooneanother;hedidnotlikemeandIdespisedhim。

  ImusthererelateagrievousmistakeofwhichIwasguilty,andwhichIhavenotyetforgivenmyself。

  IhadpromisedtotakeMdlle。X。C。V。toamidwife,butIcertainlyoughttohavetakenhertoarespectablewoman’s,forallwewantedtoknowwashowapregnantwomanshouldregulateherdietandmannerofliving。ButmyevilgeniustookmebytheRueSt。Louis,andthereIsawtheMontignienteringherhousewithaprettygirlwhomI

  didnotknow,andsooutofcuriosityIwentinafterthem。Afteramusingmyselfthere,withMdlle。X。C。V。runninginmyheadallthetime,Iaskedthewomantogivemetheaddressofamidwife,asI

  wantedtoconsultone。ShetoldmeofahouseintheMarais,whereaccordingtoherdweltthepearlofmidwives,andbegantellingmesomestoriesofherexploits,whichallwenttoprovethatthewomanwasaninfamouscharacter。Itookheraddress,however,andasI

  shouldhavetogotherebynight,Iwentthenextdaytoseewherethehousewas。

  Mdlle。X。C。V。begantotaketheremedieswhichIbroughther,whichoughttohaveweakenedanddestroyedtheresultoflove,butasshedidnotexperienceanybenefit,shewasimpatienttoconsultamidwife。Onthenightofthelastballsherecognizedmeaswehadagreed,andfollowedmeoutintothecoachshesawmeenter,andinlessthanaquarterofanhourwereachedthehouseofshame。

  Awomanofaboutfiftyreceiveduswithgreatpoliteness,andaskedwhatshecoulddo。

  Mdlle。X。C。V。toldherthatshebelievedherselfpregnant,andthatshedesiredsomemeansofconcealinghermisfortune。Thewretchansweredwithasmilethatshemightaswelltellherplainlythatitwouldbeeasytoprocureabortion。\"Iwilldoyourbusiness,\"saidshe,\"forfiftyLouis,halftobepaidinadvanceonaccountofdrugs,andtherestwhenit’sallover。Iwilltrustinyourhonesty,andyouwillhavetotrustinmine。Givemethetwenty—fiveLouisdown,andcomeorsendto—morrowforthedrugs,andinstructionsforusingthem。\"

  Sosayingsheturnedupherclotheswithoutanyceremony,andasI,atMdlle。X。C。V。’srequest,lookedaway,shefeltherandpronounced,assheletdownherdress,thatshewasnotbeyondthefourthmonth。

  \"Ifmydrugs,\"saidshe,\"contrarytomyexpectation,donotdoanygood,wewilltrysomeotherways,and,inanycase,ifIdonotsucceedinobligingyouIwillreturnyouyourmoney。\"

  \"Idon’tdoubtitforamoment,\"saidI,\"butwouldyoutellmewhatarethoseotherways!\"

  \"Ishouldtelltheladyhowtodestroythefoetus。\"

  Imighthavetoldherthattokillthechildmeantgivingamortalwoundtothemother,butIdidnotfeelinclinedtoenterintoaargumentwiththisvilecreature。

  \"Ifmadamedecidesontakingyouradvice,\"saidI,\"Iwillbringyouthemoneyfordrugsto—morrow。\"

  IgavehertwoLouisandleft。Mdlle。X。C。V。toldmethatshehadnodoubtoftheinfamyofthiswoman,asshewassureitwasimpossibletodestroytheoffspringwithouttheriskofkillingthemotheralso。\"Myonlytrust,\"saidshe,\"isinyou。\"Iencouragedherinthisidea,dissuadingherfromanycriminalattempts,andassuredheroverandoveragainthatsheshouldnotfindhertrustinmemisplaced。Allatonceshecomplainedoffeelingcold,andaskedifwehadnottimetowarmourselvesinLittlePoland,sayingthatshelongedtoseemyprettyhouse。Iwassurprisedanddelightedwiththeidea。Thenightwastoodarkforhertoseetheexteriorcharmsofmyabode,shewouldhavetosatisfyherselfwiththeinside,andleavetheresttoherimagination。Ithoughtmyhourhadcome。Imadethecoachstopandwegotdownandwalkedsomeway,andthentookanotheratthecorneroftheRuedelaFerannerie。I

  promisedthecoachmansixfrancsbeyondhisfare,andinaquarterofanhourheputusdownatmydoor。

  Irangwiththetouchofthemaster,thePearlopenedthedoor,andtoldmethattherewasnobodywithin,asIverywellknew,butitwasherhabittodoso。

  \"Quick!\"saidI,\"lightusafire,andbringsomeglassesandabottleofchampagne。\"

  \"Wouldyoulikeanomelette?\"

  \"Verywell。\"

  \"Oh,Ishouldlikeanomelettesomuch!\"saidMdlle。X。C。V。Shewasravishing,andherlaughingairseemedtopromisemeamomentofbliss。Isatdownbeforetheblazingfireandmadehersitonmyknee,coveringherwithkisseswhichshegavemebackaslovingly。I

  hadalmostwonwhatIwantedwhensheaskedmeinasweetvoicetostop。Iobeyed,thinkingitwouldpleaseher,feelingsurethatsheonlydelayedmyvictorytomakeitmorecomplete,andthatshewouldsurrenderafterthechampagne。Isawlove,kindness,trust,andgratitudeshininginherface,andIshouldhavebeensorryforhertothinkthatIclaimedherasamerereward。No,Iwantedherlove,andnothingbutherlove。

  Atlastwegottoourlastglassofchampagne,werosefromthetable,andsentimentallybutwithgentleforceIlaidheronacouchandheldheramorouslyinmyarms。Butinsteadofgivingherselfuptomyembracessheresistedthem,atfirstbythoseprayerswhichusuallymakeloversmoreenterprising,thenbyseriousremonstrances,andatlastbyforce。Thiswastoomuch,themereideaofusingviolencehasalwaysshockedme,andIamstillofopinionthattheonlypleasureintheamorousembracespringsfromperfectunionandagreement。Ipleadedmycauseineveryway,Ipaintedmyselfastheloverflattered,deceived,despised!AtlastItoldherthatIhadhadacruelawakening,andIsawthattheshaftwenthome。Ifellonmykneesandbeggedhertoforgiveme。\"Alas!\"saidshe,inavoicefullofsadness,\"Iamnolongermistressofmyheart,andhavefargreatercauseforgriefthanyou。\"Thetearsflowedfastdownhercheeks,herheadrestedonmyshoulder,andourlipsmet;butforallthatthepiecewasover。Theideaofrenewingtheattacknevercameintomyhead,andifithadIshouldhavescornfullyrejectedit。

  Afteralongsilence,ofwhichwebothstoodinneed,shetoconquerhershame,andItorepressmyanger,weputonourmasksandreturnedtotheopera。Onourwayshedaredtotellmethatsheshouldbeobligedtodeclinemyfriendshipifshehadtopayforitsodearly。

  \"Theemotionsoflove,\"Ireplied,\"shouldyieldtothoseofhonour,andyourhonouraswellasminerequireustocontinuefriends。WhatIwouldhavedoneforloveIwillnowdofordevotedfriendship,andforthefutureIwilldieratherthanmakeanotherattempttogainthosefavoursofwhichIthoughtyoudeemedmeworthy。\"

  Weseparatedattheopera,andthevastcrowdmademelosesightofherinaninstant。Nextdayshetoldmethatshehaddancedallnight。Shepossiblyhopedtofindinthatexercisethecurewhichnomedicineseemedlikelytogiveher。

  Ireturnedtomyhouseinabadhumour,tryinginvaintojustifyarefusalwhichseemedhumiliatingandalmostincredible。Mygoodsenseshewedme,inspiteofallsophisms,thatIhadbeengrievouslyinsulted。IrecollectedthewittysayingofPopulia,whowasneverunfaithfultoherhusbandexceptwhenshewaswithchild;\"Nontollovectorem,\"saidshe,\"nisinaviplena。\"

  IfeltcertainthatIwasnotloved,andthethoughtgrievedme;andIconsideredthatitwouldbeunworthyofmetoloveonewhomIcouldnolongerhopetopossess。Iresolvedtoavengemyselfbyleavinghertoherfate,feelingthatIcouldnotallowmyselftobedupedasIhadbeen。

  Thenightbroughtwisdomwithit,andwhenIawokeinthemorningmymindwascalmandIwasstillinlove。Ideterminedtoactgenerouslybytheunfortunategirl。Withoutmyaidshewouldberuined;mycourse,then,wouldbetocontinuemyservicesandtoshewmyselfindifferenttoherfavours。Thepartwasnoeasyone,butI

  playeditrightwell,andatlastmyrewardcameofitself。

  CHAPTERVII

  IContinueMyRelationsWithMdlle。X。C。V。——VainAttemptstoProcureAbortion——TheAroph——SheFliesFromHomeandTakesRefugeinaConventThedifficultiesIencounteredonlyservedtoincreasemyloveformycharmingEnglishwoman。Iwenttoseehereverymorning,andasmyinterestinherconditionwasgenuine,shecouldhavenosuspicionthatIwasactingapart,orattributemycareofhertoanythingbutthemostdelicatefeelings。Forherpartsheseemedwellpleasedinthealterationofmybehaviour,thoughhersatisfactionmayveryprobablyhavebeenassumed。Iunderstoodwomenwellenoughtoknowthatthoughshedidnotlovemeshewasprobablyannoyedatseeingmynewcharactersituponmesoeasily。

  Onemorninginthemidstofanunimportantanddisconnectedconversation,shecomplimentedmeuponmystrengthofmindinsubduingmypassion,adding,withasmile,thatmydesirecouldnothaveprickedmeverysharply,seeingthatIhadcuredmyselfsowellinthecourseofaweek。IquietlyrepliedthatIowedmycurenottotheweaknessofmypassionbuttomyself—respect。

  \"Iknowmyowncharacter,\"Isaid,\"andwithoutunduepresumption,I

  thinkImaysaythatIamworthyofawoman’slove。Naturally,afteryourconvincingmethatyouthinkdifferently,Ifeelhumiliatedandindignant。Doyouknowwhateffectsuchfeelingshaveontheheart?\"

  \"Alas!\"saidshe,\"Iknowtoowell。Theireffectistoinspireonewithcontemptforherwhogaverisetothem。\"

  \"Thatisgoingtoofar,atleastinmycase。Myindignationwasmerelysucceededbyarenewedconfidenceinmyself,andadeterminationtoberevenged。\"

  \"Toberevenged!Inwhatway?\"

  \"Iwishtocompelyoutoesteemme,byprovingtoyouthatIamlordofmyself,andcanpassbywithindifferencewhatIoncesoardentlydesired。IdonotknowwhetherIhavesucceededyet,butImaysaythatIcannowcontemplateyourcharmswithoutdesiringtopossessthem。\"

  \"Youaremakingamistake,forIneverceasedtoesteemyou,andI

  esteemedyouasmuchaweekagoasIdoto—day。NorforamomentI

  didthinkyoucapableofleavingmetomyfateasapunishmentforhavingrefusedtogivewaytoyourtransports,andIamgladthatI

  readyourcharacterrightly。\"

  WewentontospeakoftheopiateImadehertake,andasshesawnochangeinherconditionshewantedmetoincreasethedose——arequestItookcarenottogrant,asIknewthatmorethanhalfadrachmmightkillher。Ialsoforbadehertobleedherselfagain,asshemightdoherselfaseriousinjurywithoutgaininganythingbyit。

  Hermaid,ofwhomshehadbeenobligedtomakeaconfidante,hadhadherbledbyastudent,herlover。ItoldMdlle。X。C。V。thatifshewantedthesepeopletokeephercounselshemustbeliberalwiththem,andsherepliedthatshehadnomoney。Iofferedhermoneyandsheacceptedfiftylouis,assuringmethatshewouldrepaymethatsumwhichsheneededforherbrotherRichard。Ihadnotasmuchmoneyaboutme,butIsentherthesamedayapacketoftwelvehundredfrancswithanoteinwhichIbeggedhertohaverecoursetomeinallhernecessities。Herbrothergotthemoney,andthoughthimselfauthorizedtoapplytomeforaidinamuchmoreimportantmatter。

  Hewasayoungmanandaprofligate,andhadgotintoahouseofill—

  fame,fromwhichhecameoutinsorryplight。HecomplainedbitterlythatM。Farsettihadrefusedtolendhimfourlouis,andheaskedmetospeaktohismotherthatshemightpayforhiscure。Iconsented,butwhenhismotherheardwhatwasthematterwithhim,shesaiditwouldbemuchbettertoleavehimashewas,asthiswasthethirdtimehehadbeeninthiscondition,andthattohavehimcuredwasawasteofmoney,asnosoonerwashewellthanhebeganhisdissipatedlifeafresh。Shewasquiteright,forIhadhimcuredatmyexpensebyanablesurgeon,andhewasinthesamewayamonthafter。Thisyoungmanseemedintendedbynatureforshamefulexcesses,forattheageoffourteenhewasanaccomplishedprofligate。

  Hissisterwasnowsixmonthswithchild,andasherfiguregrewgreatsodidherdespair。Sheresolvednottoleaveherbed,anditgrievedmetoseeherthuscastdown。Thinkingmeperfectlycuredofmypassionforher,shetreatedmepurelyasafriend,makingmetouchherallovertoconvincemethatshedarenotshewherselfanylonger。Iplayedinshortthepartofamidwife,butwithwhatastruggle!IhadtopretendtobecalmandunconcernedwhenIwasconsumedwithpassion。Shespokeofkillingherselfinamannerthatmademeshudder,asIsawthatshehadreflectedonwhatshewassaying。Iwasinadifficultpositionwhenfortunecametomyassistanceinastrangeandamusingmanner。

  Oneday,asIwasdiningwithMadamed’Urfe,Iaskedherifsheknewofanywaybywhichagirl,whohadallowedherlovertogotoofar,mightbeprotectedfromshame。\"Iknowofaninfalliblemethod,\"shereplied,\"thearophofParacelsustowit,anditiseasyofapplication。Doyouwishtoknowmoreaboutit?\"sheadded;andwithoutwaitingformetoanswershebroughtamanuscript,andputitinmyhands。Thispowerfulemmenagoguewasakindofunguentcomposedofseveraldrugs,suchassaffron,myrrh,etc。,compoundedwithvirginhoney。Toobtainthenecessaryresultonehadtoemployacylindricalmachinecoveredwithextremelysoftskin,thickenoughtofilltheopeningofthevagina,andlongenoughtoreachtheopeningofthereservoirorcasecontainingthefoetus。Theendofthisapparatuswastobewellanointedwitharoph,andasitonlyactedatamomentofuterineexcitementitwasnecessarytoapplyitwiththesamemovementasthatofcoition。Thedosehadtoberepeatedfiveorsixtimesadayforawholeweek。

  Thisnostrum,andthemannerofadministeringit,struckmeinsolaughablealightthatIcouldnotkeepmycountenance。Ilaughedwithallmyheart,butforallthatIspentthenexttwohoursinreadingthedreamsofParacelsus,inwhichMadamed’UrfeputmoretrustthaninthetruthsoftheGospel;IafterwardsreferredtoBoerhaave,whospeaksofthearophinmorereasonableterms。

  Seeing,asIhaveremarked,thecharmingX。C。V。severalhoursadaywithoutanykindofconstraint,feelinginlovewithherallthetime,andalwaysrestrainingmyfeelings,itisnowonderifthehiddenfirethreatenedateverymomenttoleapupfromtheashesofitsconcealment。Herimagepursuedmeunceasingly,ofherIalwaysthought,andeverydaymadeitmoreevidentthatIshouldknowrestnomoretillIsucceededinextinguishingmypassionbyobtainingpossessionofallhercharms。

  AsIwasthinkingofherbymyselfIresolvedtotellherofmydiscovery,hopingshewouldneedmyhelpintheintroductionofthecylinder。Iwenttoseeheratteno’clock,andfoundher,asusual,inbed;shewasweepingbecausetheopiateIgaveherdidnottakeeffect。IthoughtthetimeagoodoneforintroducingthearophofParacelsus,whichIassuredherwasaninfalliblemeansofattainingtheendshedesired;butwhilstIwassingingthepraisesofthisapplicationtheideacameintomyheadtosaythat,tobeabsolutelycertain,itwasnecessaryforthearophtobemingledwithsemenwhichhadnotlostitsnaturalheat。

  \"Thismixture,\"saidI,\"moisteningseveraltimesadaytheopeningofthewomb,weakensittosuchadegreethatthefoetusisexpelledbyitsownweight:\"

  TothesedetailsIaddedlengthyargumentstopersuadeheroftheefficacyofthiscure,andthen,seeingthatshewasabsorbedinthought,Isaidthatasherloverwasawayshewouldwantasurefriendtoliveinthesamehousewithher,andgiveherthedoseaccordingtothedirectionsofParacelsus。

  Allatoncesheburstintoapealoflaughter,andaskedmeifIhadbeenjestingallthetime。

  Ithoughtthegamewasup。Theremedywasanabsurdone,onthefaceofit;andifhercommonsensetoldherasmuchitwouldalsomakeherguessmymotive。Butwhatlimitsaretheretothecredulityofawomaninhercondition?

  \"Ifyouwish,\"saidI,persuasively,\"IwillgiveyouthemanuscriptwhereallthatIhavesaidissetdownplainly。IwillalsoshewyouwhatBoerhaevethinksaboutit。\"

  Isawthatthesewordsconvincedher;theyhadactedonherasifbymagic,andIwentonwhiletheironwashot。

  \"Thearoph,\"saidI,\"isthemostpowerfulagentforbringingonmenstruation。\"

  \"AndthatisincompatiblewiththestateIamnowin;sothearophshouldprocuremeasecretdeliverance。Doyouknowitscomposition?\"

  \"Certainly;itisquiteasimplepreparationcomposedofcertainingredientswhicharewellknowntome,andwhichhavetobemadeintoapastewithbutterorvirginhoney。Butthiscompositionmusttouchtheorificeoftheuterusatamomentofextremeexcitement。\"

  \"Butinthatcaseitseemstomethatthepersonwhogivesthedosemustbeinlove。\"

  \"Certainly,unlessheisamereanimalrequiringonlyphysicalincentives。\"

  Shewassilentforsometime,forthoughshewasquick—wittedenough,awoman’snaturalmodestyandherownfrankness,preventedherfromguessingatmyartifice。I,too,astonishedatmysuccessinmakingherbelievethisfable,remainedsilent。

  Atlast,breakingthesilence,shesaid,sadly,\"Themethodseemstomeanexcellentone,butIdonotthinkIoughttomakeuseofit。\"

  Thensheaskedmeifthearophtookmuchtimetomake。

  \"Twohoursatmost,\"Ianswered,\"ifIsucceedinprocuringEnglishsaffron,whichParacelsuspreferstotheOrientalsaffron。\"

  AtthatmomenthermotherandtheChevalierFarsetticamein,andaftersometalkofnoconsequencesheaskedmetostaytodinner。I

  wasgoingtodecline,whenMdlle。X。C。V。saidshewouldsitattable,onwhichIaccepted;andwealllefttheroomtogivehertimetodress。Shewasnotlongindressing,andwhensheappearedherfigureseemedtomequitenymph—like。Iwasastonished,andcouldscarcelybelievemyeyes,andIwasonthepointofthinkingthatI

  hadbeenimposedon,forIcouldnotimaginehowshecouldmanagetoconcealthefulnessIhadfeltwithmyownhands。

  M。Farsettisatbyher,andIbythemother。Mdlle。X。C。V。,whoseheadwasfullofthearoph,askedherneighbour,whogavehimselfoutforagreatchemist,ifheknewit。

  \"IfancyIknowitbetterthananyone,\"answeredFarsetti,inaself—

  satisfiedmanner。

  \"Whatisitgoodfor?\"

  \"Thatistoovagueaquestion。\"

  \"Whatdoesthewordmean?\"

  \"ItisanArabicword,ofwhichIdonotknowthemeaning;butnodoubtParacelsuswouldtellus。\"

  \"Theword,\"saidI,\"isneitherArabicnorHebrew,nor,indeed,ofanylanguageatall。Itisacontractionwhichconcealstwootherwords。\"

  \"Canyoutelluswhattheyare?\"saidthechevalier。

  \"Certainly;arocomesfromaroma,andphistheinitialofphilosophorum:\"

  \"DidyougetthatoutofParacelsus?\"saidFarsetti,evidentlyannoyed。

  \"No,sir;IsawitinBoerhaave。\"

  \"That’sgood,\"saidhe,sarcastically;\"Boerhaavesaysnothingofthesort,butIlikeamanwhoquotesreadily。\"

  \"Laugh,sir,ifyoulike,\"saidI,proudly,\"buthereisthetestofwhatIsay;acceptthewagerifyoudare。Idon’tquotefalsely,likepersonswhotalkofwordsbeingArabic。\"

  SosayingIflungapurseofgoldonthetable,butFarsetti,whowasbynomeanssureofwhathewassaying,answereddisdainfullythatheneverbetted。

  However,Mdlle。X。C。V。,enjoyinghisconfusion,toldhimthatwasthebestwaynevertolose,andbegantojokehimonhisArabicderivation。But,formypart,Ireplacedmypurseinmypocket,andonsometriflingpretextwentoutandsentmyservanttoMadamed’Urfe’stogetmeBoerhaave。

  OnmyreturntotheroomIsatdownagainattable,andjoinedgailyintheconversationtillthereturnofmymessengerwiththebook。I

  openedit,andasIhadbeenreadingittheeveningbeforeIsoonfoundtheplaceIwanted,andgivingittohimbeggedhimtosatisfyhimselfthatIhadquotednotreadilybutexactly。Insteadoftakingthebook,hegotupandwentoutwithoutsayingaword。

  \"Hehasgoneawayinarage,\"saidthemother;\"andIwouldwageranythingthathewillnotcomebackagain。\"

  \"Iwagerhewill,\"saidthedaughter,\"hewillhonouruswithhisagreeablecompanybeforeto—morrow’ssunhasset。\"

  Shewasright。FromthatdayFarsettibecamemydeterminedenemy,andletnoopportunityslipofconvincingmeofhishatred。

  AfterdinnerweallwenttoPassytobepresentataconcertgivenbyM。delaPopeliniere,whomadeusstaytosupper。IfoundthereSilviaandhercharmingdaughter,whopoutedatmeandnotwithoutcause,asIhadneglectedher。Thefamousadept,St。Germain,enlivenedthetablewithhiswildtiradessofinelydelivered。I

  haveneverseenamoreintellectualoramusingcharlatanthanhe。

  NextdayIshutmyselfuptoanswerahostofquestionsthatEstherhadsentme。Itookcaretoanswerallthosebearingonbusinessmattersasobscurelyaspossible,notonlyforthecreditoftheoracle,butalsoforfearofmisleadingthefatherandmakinghimlosemoney。TheworthymanwasthemosthonestofDutchmillionaires,buthemighteasilymakealargeholeinhisfortune,ifhedidnotabsolutelyruinhimself,byputtinganimplicittrustinmyinfallibility。AsforEsther,Iconfessthatshewasnownomoretomethanapleasantmemory。

  Inspiteofmypretenceofindifference,mywholeheartwasgiventoMdlle。X。C。V。,andIdreadedthemomentwhenshewouldbenolongerabletohideherconditionfromherfamily。Iwassorryforhavingspokenaboutthearoph,asthreedayshadgonebywithouthermentioningit,andIcouldnotverywellreopenthequestionmyself。

  Iwasafraidthatshesuspectedmymotives,andthattheesteemsheprofessedformehadbeenreplacedbyamuchlessfriendlysentiment。

  Ifeltthatherscornwouldbetoomuchformetobear。SohumiliatedwasIthatIcouldnotvisither,andIdoubtifIshouldhaveseenheragainifshehadnotintervened。Shewrotemeanote,inwhichshesaidIwasheronlyfriend,andthattheonlymarkoffriendshipshewantedwasthatIshouldcomeandseehereveryday,ifitwerebutforamoment。Ihastedtotakehermyreplyinmyownperson,andpromisednottoneglecther,assuringherthatatallhazardsshemightrelyonme。Iflatteredmyselfthatshewouldmentionthearoph,butshedidnotdoso。Iconcludedthat,afterthinkingitover,shehadresolvedtothinknomoreaboutit。

  \"Wouldyoulikeme,\"Isaid,\"toinviteyourmotherandtherestofyoutodinewithme?\"

  \"Ishallbedelighted,\"shereplied。\"Itwillbeaforbiddenpleasuretomebeforelong。\"

  Igavethemadinnerbothsumptuousanddelicate。Ihadsparednoexpensetohaveeverythingofthebest。IhadaskedSilvia,hercharmingdaughter,anItalianmusiciannamedMagali,withwhomasisterofMdlle。X。C。V。’swastaken,andthefamousbassLaGarde。

  Mdlle。X。C。V。wasinthehighestspiritsallthetime。Salliesofwit,jests,goodstoriesandenjoyment,werethesoulofthebanquet。

  Wedidnotseparatetillmidnight,andbeforeleavingMdlle。X。C。V。

  foundamomenttowhispertometocomeandseeherearlynextmorning,asshewantedtospeaktomeonmattersofimportance。

  ItwillbeguessedthatIacceptedtheinvitation。Iwaitedonherbeforeeighto’clock。Shewasverymelancholy,andtoldmethatshewasindespair,thatlaPopelinierepressedonthemarriage,andthathermotherpersecutedher。

  \"ShetellsmethatImustsignthecontract,andthatthedressmakerwillsoonbecomingtotakemymeasureformyweddingdress。TothatIcannotconsent,foradressmakerwouldcertainlyseemysituation。

  Iwilldieratherthanconfideinmymother,ormarrybeforeIamdelivered。\"

  \"Thereisalwaystimeenoughtotalkaboutdying,\"saidI,\"whenallothermeanshavefailed。IthinkyoucouldeasilygetridoflaPopeliniere,whoisamanofhonour。Tellhimhowyouaresituated,andhewillactwithoutcompromisingyou,ashisowninterestissufficientlyinvolvedtomakehimkeepthesecret。\"

  \"ButshouldIbemuchbetteroffthen?Andhowaboutmymother?\"

  \"Yourmother?Oh!Iwillmakeherlistentoreason。\"

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