alltheemotionhehadstifled;theswiftPanhehaddenied;thesharpfruits，theburningsuns，thedarkpools，theunearthlymoonlight，whichwerenotofGod——allcamewiththebreathofthatoldsong，andthelookonthegirl’sface。Andhecoveredhiseyes。
Noel’shandtuggedathisarm。\"Isn’tbeautyterriblyalive，\"shemurmured，\"likealovelyperson？itmakesyouachetokissit。\"
Hislipsfeltparched。\"Thereisabeautybeyondallthat，\"hesaidstubbornly。
\"Where？\"
\"Holiness，duty，faith。ONollie，mylove！\"ButNoel’shandtightenedonhisarm。
\"ShallItellyouwhatIshouldlike？\"shewhispered。\"TotakeGod’shandandshowHimthings。I’mcertainHe’snotseeneverything。\"
AshudderwentthroughPierson，oneofthosequeersuddenshivers，whichcomefromastrangenoteinavoice，oranewsharpscentorsight。
\"Mydear，whatthingsyousay！\"
\"ButHehasn’t，andit’stimeHedid。We’dcreep，andpeep，andseeitallforonce，asHecan’tinHischurches。Daddy，oh！Daddy！
Ican’tbearitanymore;tothinkofthembeingkilledonanightlikethis;killedandkilledsothattheyneverseeitallagain——
neverseeit——neverseeit！\"Shesankdown，andcoveredherfacewithherarms。
\"Ican’t，Ican’t！Oh！takeitallaway，thecruelty！Whydoesitcome——whythestarsandtheflowers，ifGoddoesn’tcareanymorethanthat？\"
Horriblyaffectedhestoodbendingoverher，strokingherhead。Thenthehabitofahundreddeath—bedshelpedhim。\"Come，Nollie！Thislifeisbutaminute。Wemustalldie。\"
\"Butnotthey——notsoyoung！\"Sheclungtohisknees，andlookedup。
\"Daddy，Idon’twantyoutogo;promisemetocomeback！\"
Thechildishnessofthosewordsbroughtbackhisbalance。
\"Mydearsweetheart，ofcourse！Come，Nollie，getup。Thesun’sbeentoomuchforyou。\"
Noelgotup，andputherhandsonherfather’sshoulders。\"Forgivemeforallmybadness，andallmybadnesstocome，especiallyallmybadnesstocome！\"
Piersonsmiled。\"Ishallalwaysforgiveyou，Nollie;buttherewon’tbe——theremustn’tbeanybadnesstocome。IprayGodtokeepyou，andmakeyoulikeyourmother。\"
\"Motherneverhadadevil，likeyouandme。\"
Hewassilentfromsurprise。Howdidthischildknowthedevilofwildfeelinghehadfoughtagainstyearafteryear;untilwiththemanyyearshehadfeltitweakeningwithinhim！Shewhisperedon:\"Idon’thatemydevil。
WhyshouldI？——it’spartofme。Everydaywhenthesunsets，I’llthinkofyou，Daddy;andyoumightdothesame——that’llkeepmegood。
Ishan’tcometothestationtomorrow，Ishouldonlycry。AndI
shan’tsaygood—byenow。It’sunlucky。\"
Sheflungherarmsroundhim;andhalfsmotheredbythatferventembrace，hekissedhercheeksandhair。Freedofeachotheratlast，hestoodforamomentlookingatherbythemoonlight。
\"Thereneverwasanyonemorelovingthanyou;Nollie！\"hesaidquietly。\"Remembermyletter。Andgoodnight，mylove！\"Then，afraidtostayanothersecond，hewentquicklyoutofthedarklittleroom……
GeorgeLaird，returninghalfanhourlater，heardavoicesayingsoftly:\"George，George！\"
Lookingup，hesawalittlewhitebluratthewindow，andNoel’sfacejustvisible。
\"George，letthegoatloose，justforto—night，topleaseme。\"
Somethinginthatvoice，andinthegestureofherstretched—outarmmovedGeorgeinaqueerway，although，asPiersonhadoncesaid，hehadnomusicinhissoul。Heloosedthegoat。
IV
IntheweekswhichsucceededPierson’sdeparture，GratianandGeorgeoftendiscussedNoel’sconductandpositionbythelightofthePragmatictheory。Georgeheldasuitablyscientificview。Justashewouldpointouttohiswife——inthephysicalworld，creatureswhodivergedfromthenormalhadtojustifytheirdivergenceincompetitionwiththeirenvironments，orelsegounder，sointheethicalworlditwasallaquestionofwhetherNolliecouldmakegoodhervagary。Ifshecould，andgrewinstrengthofcharacterthereby，itwasipsofactoallright，hervagarywouldbeprovedanadvantage，andtheworldenriched。Ifnot，theworldbyherfailuretomakegoodwouldbeimpoverished，andhervagaryprovedwrong。Theorthodoxandacademies——heinsisted——werealwaysforgettingtheadaptabilityoflivingorganisms;howeveryactionwhichwasoutoftheordinary，unconsciouslymodifiedalltheotheractionstogetherwiththeoutlook，andphilosophyofthedoer。\"OfcourseNolliewascrazy，\"hesaid，\"butwhenshedidwhatshedid，sheatoncebegantothinkdifferentlyaboutlifeandmorals。Thedeepestinstinctweallhaveistheinstinctthatwemustdowhatwemust，andthinkthatwhatwe’vedoneisreallyallright;infactthe——instinctofself—
preservation。We’reallfightinganimals;andwefeelinourbonesthatifweadmitwe’rebeaten——wearebeaten;butthateveryfightwewin，especiallyagainstodds，hardensthosebones。ButpersonallyI
don’tthinkshecanmakegoodonherown。\"
Gratian，whosePragmatismwasnotyetfullybaked，respondeddoubtfully:
\"No，Idon’tthinkshecan。AndifshecouldI’mnotsure。Butisn’tPragmatismaperfectlybeastlyword，George？Ithasnosenseofhumourinitatall。\"
\"Itisabitthick，andinthehandsoftheyoung，deucedlikelytobecomePrigmatism;butnotwithNollie。\"
Theywatchedthevictimoftheirdiscussionswithrealanxiety。Theknowledgethatshewouldneverbemoreshelteredthanshewaswiththem，atalleventsuntilshemarried，gravelyimpededtheformationofanyjudgmentastowhetherornoshecouldmakegood。NowandagaintherewouldcometoGratianwhoafterallknewhersisterbetterthanGeorge——thedisquietingthoughtthatwhateverconclusionNoelledthemtoform，shewouldalmostcertainlyforcethemtoabandonsoonerorlater。
Threedaysafterherfather’sdepartureNoelhaddeclaredthatshewantedtoworkontheland。ThisGeorgehadpromptlyvetoed。
\"Youaren’tstrongenoughyet，mydear:Waittilltheharvestbegins。
Thenyoucangoandhelponthefarmhere。Ifyoucanstandthatwithoutdamage，we’llthinkaboutit。\"
Buttheweatherwaswetandharvestlate，andNoelhadnothingmuchtodobutattendtoherbaby，alreadywellattendedtobyNurse，anddreamandbrood，andnowandthencookanomeletteordosomehouseworkforthesakeofagnawingconscience。SinceGratianandGeorgewereawayinhospitalallday，shewasverymuchalone。
SeveraltimesintheeveningsGratiantriedtocomeatthecoreofherthoughts，TwicesheflewthekiteofLeila。ThefirsttimeNoelonlyanswered:\"Yes，she’sabrick。\"Thesecondtime，shesaid:\"I
don’twanttothinkabouther。\"
But，hardeningherheart，Gratianwenton:\"Don’tyouthinkit’squeerwe’veneverheardfromCaptainFortsincehecamedown？\"
InhercalmestvoiceNoelanswered:\"Whyshouldwe，afterbeingtoldthathewasn’tliked？\"
\"Whotoldhimthat？\"
\"Itoldhim，thatDaddydidn’t;butIexpectDaddysaidmuchworsethings。\"Shegavealittlelaugh，thensoftlyadded:\"Daddy’swonderful，isn’the？\"
\"How？\"
\"Thewayhedrivesonetodotheotherthing。Ifhehadn’topposedmymarriagetoCyril，youknow，thatwouldn’thavehappened，itjustmadeallthedifference。Itstirredmeupsofearfully。\"Gratianstaredather，astonishedthatshecouldseeherselfsoclearly。
TowardstheendofAugustshehadaletterfromFort。
\"DEARMRS。LAIRD，\"Youknowallaboutthings，ofcourse，excepttheonethingwhichtomeisallimportant。Ican’tgoonwithoutknowingwhetherIhaveachancewithyoursister。Itisagainstyourfather’sexpressedwishthatsheshouldhaveanythingtodowithme，butItoldhimthatI
couldnotandwouldnotpromisenottoaskher。Igetmyholidayattheendofthismonth，andamcomingdowntoputittothetouch。Itmeansmoretomethanyoucanpossiblyimagine。
\"Iam，dearMrs。Laird，\"Yourveryfaithfulservant，\"JAMESFORT。\"
ShediscussedtheletterwithGeorge，whoseadvicewas:\"Answeritpolitely，butsaynothing;andnothingtoNollie。Ithinkitwouldbeaverygoodthing。Ofcourseit’sabitofamake—shift——twiceherage;buthe’sagenuineman，ifnotexactlybrilliant。\"
Gratianansweredalmostsullenly:\"I’vealwayswantedtheverybestforNollie。\"
Georgescreweduphissteel—colouredeyes，ashemighthavelookedatoneonwhomhehadtooperate。\"Quiteso，\"hesaid。\"Butyoumustremember，Gracie，thatoutoftheswanshewas，Nolliehasmadeherselfintoalameduck。Fiftypercentatleastisoffhervalue，socially。Wemustlookatthingsastheyare。\"
\"Fatherisdeadagainstit。\"
Georgesmiled，onthepointofsaying:’Thatmakesmefeelitmustbeagoodthing’Buthesubduedtheimpulse。
\"Iagreethatwe’reboundbyhisabsencenottofurtheritactively。
StillNollieknowshiswishes，andit’suptoherandnooneelse。
Afterall，she’snolongerachild。\"
Hisadvicewasfollowed。Buttowritethatpoliteletter，whichsaidnothing，costGratianasleeplessnight，andtwoorthreehours’
penmanship。Shewasveryconscientious。Knowledgeofthisimpendingvisitincreasedtheanxietywithwhichshewatchedhersister，buttheonlyinklingsheobtainedofNoel’sstateofmindwaswhenthegirlshowedheralettershehadreceivedfromThirza，askinghertocomebacktoKestrel。Apostscript，inUncleBob’shandwriting，addedthesewords:
\"We’regettingquitefossiliseddownhere;Eve’sgoneandleftusagain。Wemissyouandtheyoungsterawfully。Comealongdown，Nolliethere’sadear！\"
\"They’redarlings，\"Noelsaid，\"butIshan’tgo。I’mtoorestless，eversinceDaddywent;youdon’tknowhowrestless。Thisrainsimplymakesmewanttodie。\"
2
Theweatherimprovednextday，andattheendofthatweekharvestbegan。BywhatseemedtoNoelastrokeofluckthefarmer’sbinderwasbroken;hecouldnotgetitrepaired，andwantedallthehumanbindershecouldget。Thatfirstdayinthefieldsblisteredherhands，burntherfaceandneck，madeeverynerveandboneinherbodyache;butwasthehappiestdayshehadspentforweeks，thehappiestperhapssinceCyrilMorlandlefther，overayearago。Shehadabathandwenttobedthemomentshegotin。
Lyingtherenibblingchocolateandsmokingacigarette，sheluxuriatedinthewearinesswhichhadstilledherdreadfulrestlessness。Watchingthesmokeofhercigarettecurlupagainstthesunsetglowwhichfilledherwindow，shemused:Ifonlyshecouldbetiredoutlikethiseveryday！Shewouldbeallrightthen，wouldlosethefeelingofnotknowingwhatshewanted，ofbeinginasortooflargebox，withthelidslammeddown，roamingrounditlikeadazedandhomesickbeeinanoverturnedtumbler;thefeelingofbeingonlyhalfalive，ofhavingawingmaimedsothatshecouldonlyflyalittleway，andmustthendrop。
Shesleptlikeatopthatnight。Butthenextday’sworkwasrealtorture，andthethirdnotmuchbetter。Bytheendoftheweek，however，shewasnolongerstiff。
Saturdaywascloudless;aperfectday。Thefieldshewasworkinginlayonaslope。Itwasthelastfieldtobecut，andthebestwheatyet，withagloriousburntshadeinitsgoldandtheearsbluntandfull。Shehadgotusednowtothefeelofthegreatsheavesinherarms，andthebindingwispsdrawnthroughherhandtillsheheldthemlevel，belowtheears，readyforthetwist。Therewasnonewsensationinitnow;juststeady，ratherdreamywork，tokeepherplaceintherow，totheswish—swishofthecutterandthecallofthedrivertohishorsesattheturns;withcontinuallittlepauses，tostraightenandrestherbackamoment，andshakeherheadfreefromtheflies，orsuckherfinger，sorefromtheconstantpushingofthestrawendsunder。Sothehourswenton，ratherhotandwearisome，yetwithafeelingofsomethinggoodbeingdone，ofajobgettingsurelytoitsend。Andgraduallythecentrepatchnarrowed，andthesunslowlyslanteddown。
Whentheystoppedfortea，insteadofrunninghomeasusual，shedrankitcoldoutofaflaskshehadbrought，ateabunandsomechocolate，andlaydownonherbackagainstthehedge。Shealwaysavoidedthatgroupofherfellowworkersroundthetea—canswhichthefarmer’swifebroughtout。Toavoidpeople，ifshecould，hadbecomehabitualtohernow。Theymustknowabouther，orwouldsoonifshegavethemthechance。Shehadneverlostconsciousnessofherring—
finger，expectingeveryeyetofallonitasamatterofcourse。
Lyingonherface，shepuffedhercigaretteintothegrass，andwatchedabeetle，tilloneofthesheep—dogs，scoutingforscraps，cameup，andshefedhimwithhersecondbun。Havingfinishedthebun，hetriedtoeatthebeetle，and，whensherescuedit，convincedthatshehadnothingmoretogivehim，sneezedather，andwentaway。
Pressingtheendofhercigaretteoutagainstthebank，sheturnedover。Alreadythedriverwasperchedonhistinyseat，andhiscompanion，whosebusinessitwastofreethefallingcorn，wasgettingupalongside。Swish—swish！Ithadbegunagain。Sherose，stretchedherself，andwentbacktoherplaceintherow。Thefieldwouldbefinishedto—night;shewouldhavealovelyrest—allSundayI
Towardsseveno’clockanarrowstrip，nottwentyyardsbroad，alonewasleft。ThislasthalfhourwaswhatNoeldreaded。To—dayitwasworse，forthefarmerhadnocartridgesleft，andtherabbitsweredealtwithbyhullabalooandsticksandchasingdogs。Rabbitswerevermin，ofcourse，andatethecrops，andmustbekilled;besides，theyweregoodfood，andfetchedtwoshillingsapiece;allthissheknewbuttoseethepoorfrightenedthingsstealingout，pouncedon，turned，shoutedat，chased，rolledoverbygreatswiftdogs，fallenonbytheboysandkilledandcarriedwiththeirlimpgreybodiesupsidedown，sodeadandsoftandhelpless，alwaysmadeherfeelquitesick。Shestoodverystill，tryingnottoseeorhear，andinthecornoppositetoherarabbitstolealong，crouched，andpeeped。
’Oh！’shethought，’comeouthere，bunny。I’llletyouaway——can’tyouseeIwill？It’syouronlychance。Comeout！’Buttherabbitcrouched，andgazed，withitslittlecowedheadpokedforward，anditsearslaidflat;itseemedtryingtounderstandwhetherthisstillthinginfrontofitwasthesameasthoseothers。Withthethought，’Ofcourseitwon’twhileIlookatit，’Noelturnedherheadaway。
Outofthecornerofhereyeshecouldseeamanstandingafewyardsoff。Therabbitboltedout。Nowthemanwouldshoutandturnit。
Buthedidnot，andtherabbitscuttledpasthimandawaytothehedge。Sheheardashoutfromtheendoftherow，sawadoggalloping。Toolate！Hurrah！Andclaspingherhands，shelookedattheman。ItwasFort！Withthequeerestfeeling——amazement，pleasure，thethrillofconspiracy，shesawhimcominguptoher。
\"Ididwantthatrabbittogetoff，\"shesighedout;\"I’vebeenwatchingit。Thankyou！\"
Helookedather。\"Mygoodness！\"wasallhesaid。
Noel’shandsflewuptohercheeks。\"Yes，Iknow;ismynoseveryred？\"
\"No;you’reaslovelyasRuth，ifshewaslovely。\"
Swish—swish！Thecuttercameby;Noelstartedforwardtoherplaceintherow;butcatchingherarm，hesaid:\"No，letmedothislittlebit。Ihaven’thadadayinthefieldssincethewarbegan。TalktomewhileI’mbinding。\"
Shestoodwatchinghim。Hemadeadifferent，strongertwistfromhers，andtooklargersheaves，sothatshefeltasortofjealousy。
\"Ididn’tknowyouknewaboutthissortofthing。\"
\"Oh，Lord，yes！IhadafarmonceoutWest。Nothinglikefield—
work，tomakeyoufeelgood。I’vebeenwatchingyou;youbindjollywell。\"
Noelgaveasighofpleasure。
\"Wherehaveyoucomefrom？\"sheasked。
\"Straightfromthestation。I’monmyholiday。\"Helookedupather，andtheybothfellsilent。
Swish—swish！Thecutterwascomingagain。Noelwenttothebeginningofherportionofthefallingcorn，hetotheendofit。
Theyworkedtowardseachother，andmetbeforethecutterwasonthemathirdtime。
\"Willyoucomeintosupper？\"
\"I’dloveto。\"
\"Thenlet’sgonow，please。Idon’twanttoseeanymorerabbitskilled。\"
Theyspokeverylittleonthewaytothebungalow，butshefelthiseyesonherallthetime。ShelefthimwithGeorgeandGratianwhohadjustcomein，andwentupforherbath。
Supperhadbeenlaidoutintheverandah，anditwasnearlydarkbeforetheyhadfinished。InrhymewiththefailingofthelightNoelbecamemoreandmoresilent。Whentheywentin，sheranuptoherbaby。Shedidnotgodownagain，butasonthenightbeforeherfatherwentaway，stoodatherwindow，leaningout。Adarknight，nomoon;inthestarlightshecouldonlyjustseethedimgarden，wherenogoatwasgrazing。Nowthatherfirstexcitementhadwornoff，thissuddenreappearanceofFortfilledherwithnervousmelancholy:
Sheknewperfectlywellwhathehadcomefor，shehadalwaysknown。
Shehadnocertainknowledgeofherownmind;butsheknewthatalltheseweeksshehadbeenbetweenhisinfluenceandherfather’s，listeningtothem，asitwere，pleadingwithher。And，curiously，thepleadingofeach，insteadofdrawinghertowardsthepleader，hadseemeddraggingherawayfromhim，drivingherintothearmsoftheother。Totheprotectionofoneortheothershefeltshemustgo;
andithumiliatedhertothinkthatinalltheworldtherewasnootherplaceforher。ThewildnessofthatonenightintheoldAbbeyseemedtohavepowertogovernallherlifetocome。Whyshouldthatonenight，thatoneact，havethisuncannypowertodriveherthiswayorthat，tothosearmsorthese？Mustshe，becauseofit，alwaysneedprotection？Standingthereinthedarkitwasalmostasiftheyhadcomeupbehindher，withtheirpleadings;andashiverrandownherback。Shelongedtoturnonthem，andcryout:\"Goaway;oh;goaway！Idon’twanteitherofyou;Ijustwanttobeleftalone！\"
Thensomething，amothperhaps，touchedherneck。Shegaspedandshookherself。Howsilly！
Sheheardthebackdoorroundthecornerofthehouseopening;aman’slowvoicedowninthedarksaid:
\"Who’stheyoungladythatcomesoutinthefields？\"
Anothervoice——oneofthemaids——answered:
\"TheMissis’ssister。\"
\"Theysayshe’sgotababy。\"
\"Neveryoumindwhatshe’sgot。\"
Noelheardtheman’slaugh。Itseemedtoherthemostodiouslaughshehadeverheard。Shethoughtswiftlyandabsurdly:’I’llgetawayfromallthis。’Thewindowwasonlyafewfeetup。Shegotoutontotheledge，letherselfdown，anddropped。Therewasaflower—bedbelow，quitesoft，withascentofgeranium—leavesandearth。Shebrushedherself，andwenttiptoeingacrossthegravelandthelittlefrontlawn，tothegate。Thehousewasquitedark，quitesilent。
Shewalkedon，downtheroad。’Jolly！’shethought。’Nightafternightwesleep，andneverseethenights:sleepuntilwe’recalled，andneverseeanything。Iftheywanttocatchmethey’llhavetorun。’Andshebeganrunningdowntheroadinhereveningfrockandshoes，withnothingonherhead。Shestoppedaftergoingperhapsthreehundredyards，bytheedgeofthewood。Itwassplendidlydarkinthere，andshegropedherwayfromtrunktotrunk，withadelicious，half—scaredsenseofadventureandnovelty。Shestoppedatlastbyathintrunkwhosebarkglimmeredfaintly。Shefeltitwithhercheek，quitesmooth——abirchtree;and，withherarmsroundit，shestoodperfectlystill。Wonderfully，magicallysilent，freshandsweet—scentedanddark！Thelittletreetrembledsuddenlywithinherarms，andsheheardthelowdistantrumble，towhichshehadgrownsoaccustomed——theguns，alwaysatwork，killing——killingmenandkillingtrees，littletreesperhapslikethiswithinherarms，littletremblingtrees！Outthere，inthisdarknight，therewouldnotbeasingleunscarredtreelikethissmoothquiveringthing，nofieldsofcorn，notevenabushorabladeofgrass，noleavestorustleandsmellsweet，notabird，nolittlesoft—footednightbeasts，excepttherats;andsheshuddered，thinkingoftheBelgiansoldier—painter。Holdingthetreetight，shesqueezeditssmoothbodyagainsther。Arushofthesamehelpless，hopelessrevoltandsorrowovertookher，whichhadwrungfromherthatpassionatelittleoutbursttoherfather，thenightbeforehewentaway。Killed，torn，andbruised;burned，andkilled，likeCyril！Alltheyoungthings，likethislittletree。
Rumble！Rumble！Quiver！Quiver！Andallelsesostill，sosweetandstill，andstarry，uptherethroughtheleaves……’Ican’tbearit！’shethought。Shepressedherlips，whichthesunhadwarmedallday，againstthesatinysmoothbark。Butthelittletreestoodwithinherarmsinsentient，quiveringonlytothelongrumbles。Witheachofthosedullmutterings，lifeandloveweregoingout，liketheflamesofcandlesonaChristmas—tree，blown，onebyone。Tohereyes，accustomedbynowtothedarknessinthere，thewoodseemedslowlytobegatheringasortoflife，asthoughitwereagreatthingwatchingher;agreatthingwithhundredsoflimbsandeyes，andthepowerofbreathing。Thelittletree，whichhadseemedsoindividualandfriendly，ceasedtobeacomfortandbecameapartofthewholelivingwood，absorbedinitself，andcoldlywatchingher，thisintruderofthemischievousbreed，thefatalbreedwhichloosedthoserumblingsontheearth。Noelunlockedherarms，andrecoiled。
Aboughscrapedherneck，someleavesflewagainsthereyes;shesteppedaside，trippedoveraroot，andfell。Aboughhadhithertoo，andshelayalittledazed，quiveringatsuchdarkunfriendliness。Sheheldherhandsuptoherfaceforthemerepleasureofseeingsomethingalittlelessdark;itwaschildish，andabsurd，butshewasfrightened。Thewoodseemedtohavesomanyeyes，somanyarms，andallunfriendly;itseemedwaitingtogiveherotherblows，otherfalls，andtoguardherwithinitsdarknessuntil——！Shegotup，movedafewsteps，andstoodstill，shehadforgottenfromwhereshehadcomein。Andafraidofmovingdeeperintotheunfriendlywood，sheturnedslowlyround，tryingtotellwhichwaytogo。Itwasalljustonedarkwatchingthing，oflimbsonthegroundandintheair。’Anyway，’shethought;’anywayofcoursewilltakemeout！’Andshegropedforward，keepingherhandsuptoguardherface。Itwassilly，butshecouldnothelpthesinking，scatteredfeelingwhichcomestoonebushed，orlostinafog。Ifthewoodhadnotbeensodark，so，——alive！Andforasecondshehadthesenseless，terrifyingthoughtofachild:’WhatifI
nevergetout！’Thenshelaughedatit，andstoodstillagain，listening。Therewasnosoundtoguideher，nosoundatallexceptthatfaintdullrumble，whichseemedtocomefromeveryside，now。
Andthetreeswatchedher。’Ugh！’shethought;’Ihatethiswood！’
Shesawitnow，itssnakybranches，itsdarkness，andgreatforms，asanabodeofgiantsandwitches。Shegropedandscrambledonagain，trippedoncemore，andfell，hittingherforeheadagainstatrunk。
Theblowdazedandsoberedher。’It’sidiotic，’shethought;’I’mababy！I’llJustwalkveryslowlytillIreachtheedge。Iknowitisn’talargewood！’Sheturneddeliberatelytofaceeachdirection;
solemnlyselectedthatfromwhichthemutteringofthegunsseemedtocome，andstartedagain，movingveryslowlywithherhandsstretchedout。Somethingrustledintheundergrowth，quiteclose，;shesawapairofgreeneyesshining。Herheartjumpedintohermouth。Thethingsprang——therewasaswishoffernsandtwigs，andsilence。
Noelclaspedherbreast。Apoachingcat！Andagainshemovedforward。Butshehadlostdirection。’I’mgoingroundandround，’
shethought。’Theyalwaysdo。’Andthesinkingscatteredfeelingofthe\"bushed\"clutchedatheragain。’ShallIcall？’shethought。’I
mustbeneartheroad。Butit’ssobabyish。’Shemovedonagain。
Herfootstrucksomethingsoft。Avoicemutteredathickoath;ahandseizedherankle。Sheleaped，anddraggedandwrencheditfree;
and，utterlyunnerved，shescreamed，andranforwardblindly。
V
NoonecouldhavesoconvincedafeelingasJimmyFortthathewouldbea’bitofamakeshift’forNoel。Hehadspenttheweeksafterhisinterviewwithherfatherobsessedbyherimage，oftensayingtohimself\"Itwon’tdo。It’splayingittoolowdowntotryandgetthatchild，whenIknowthat，butforhertrouble，Ishouldn’thaveachance。\"Hehadneverhadmuchopinionofhislooks，butnowheseemedtohimselfabsurdlyoldanddried—upinthisdesertofaLondon。HeloathedtheOfficejobtowhichtheyhadputhim，andthewholeatmosphereofofficialdom。Anotheryearofit，andhewouldshrivellikeanoldapple！Hebegantolookathimselfanxiously，takingstockofhisphysicalassetsnowthathehadthisdreamofyoungbeauty。Hewouldbefortynextmonth，andshewasnineteen！
Buttherewouldbetimestoowhenhewouldfeelthat，withher，hecouldbeasmuchofa\"three—year—old\"astheyoungstershehadloved。Havinglittlehopeofwinningher，hetookher\"past\"butlightly。Wasitnotthatpastwhichgavehimwhatchancehehad？Ontwothingshewasdetermined:Hewouldnottradeonherpast。Andifbyanychanceshetookhim，hewouldnevershowherthatherememberedthatshehadone。
AfterwritingtoGratianhehadspenttheweekbeforehisholidaybegan，inanattempttorenewtheyouthfulnessofhisappearance，whichmadehimfeelolder，leaner，bonierandbrownerthanever。Hegotupearly，rodeintherain，tookTurkishbaths，anddidallmannerofexercises;neithersmokednordrank，andwenttobedearly，exactlyasifhehadbeengoingtorideasteeplechase。Ontheafternoon，whenatlastheleftonthatterrificpilgrimage，hegazedathisfacewithasortofdespair，itwassolean，andleather—
coloured，andhecountedalmostadozengreyhairs。
Whenhereachedthebungalow，andwastoldthatshewasworkinginthecorn—fields，hehadforthefirsttimeafeelingthatFatewasonhisside。Suchameetingwouldbeeasierthananyother！Hehadbeenwatchingherforseveralminutesbeforeshesawhim，withhisheartbeatingmoreviolentlythanithadeverbeateninthetrenches;
andthatnewfeelingofhopestayedwithhim——allthroughthegreeting，throughoutsupper，andevenaftershehadleftthemandgoneupstairs。Then，withthesuddennessofablinddrawndown，itvanished，andhesaton，tryingtotalk，andslowlygettingmoreandmoresilentandrestless。
\"Nolliegetssotired，working，\"Gratiansaid:Heknewshemeantitkindlybutthatsheshouldsayitatallwasominous。Hegotupatlast，havinglosthopeofseeingNoelagain，conscioustoothathehadansweredthelastthreequestionsatrandom。
IntheporchGeorgesaid:\"You’llcomeintolunchtomorrow，won’tyou？\"
\"Oh，thanks，I’mafraidit’llboreyouall。\"
\"Notabit。Nolliewon’tbesotired。\"
Again——sowellmeant。Theywereverykind。Helookedupfromthegate，tryingtomakeoutwhichherwindowmightbe;butallwasdark。
Alittlewaydowntheroadhestoppedtolightacigarette;and，leaningagainstagate，drewthesmokeofitdeepintohislungs，tryingtoassuagetheacheinhisheart。Soitwashopeless！Shehadtakenthefirst，theveryfirstchance，togetawayfromhim！
Sheknewthathelovedher，couldnothelpknowing，forhehadneverbeenabletokeepitoutofhiseyesandvoice。Ifshehadfelteversolittleforhim，shewouldnothaveavoidedhimthisfirstevening。
’I’llgobacktothatdesert，’hethought;’I’mnotgoingtowhineandcrawl。I’llgoback，andbiteonit;onemusthavesomepride。
Oh，whythehellamIcrocked—uplikethis？IfonlyIcouldgetouttoFranceagain！’AndthenNoel’sfigurebentoverthefallingcornformedbeforehim。’I’llhaveonemoretry，’hethought;’onemore——
tomorrowsomewhere，I’llgettoknowforcertain。AndifIgetwhatLeila’sgotIshalldeserveit，Isuppose。PoorLeila！Whereisshe？BackatHighConstantia？’Whatwasthat？Acry——ofterror——inthatwood！Crossingtotheedge，hecalled\"Coo—ee！\"andstoodpeeringintoitsdarkness。Heheardthesoundofbushesbeingbrushedaside，andwhistled。Afigurecameburstingout，almostintohisarms。
\"Hallo！\"hesaid;\"what’sup？\"
Avoicegasped:\"Oh！It’s——it’snothing！\"
HesawNoel。Shehadswayedback，andstoodaboutayardaway。Hecoulddimlyseehercoveringherfacewithherarms。Feelinginstinctivelythatshewantedtohideherfright，hesaidquietly:
\"Whatluck！Iwasjustpassing。It’sawfullydark。\"
\"I——Igotlost;andaman——caughtmyfoot，inthere！\"
Movedbeyondcontrolbythelittlegulpsandgaspsofherbreathing，hesteppedforwardandputhishandsonhershoulders。Heheldherlightly，withoutspeaking，terrifiedlestheshouldwoundherpride。
\"I—Igotinthere，\"shegasped，\"andthetrees——andIstumbledoveraroanasleep，andhe——\"
\"Yes，Yes，Iknow，\"hemurmured，asiftoachild。Shehaddroppedherarmsnow，andhecouldseeherface，witheyesunnaturallydilated，andlipsquivering。Thenmovedagainbeyondcontrol，hedrewhersoclosethathecouldfeelthethrobbingofherheart，andputhislipstoherforeheadallwetwithheat。Sheclosedhereyes，gavealittlechoke，andburiedherfaceagainsthiscoat。
\"There，there，mydarling！\"hekeptonsaying。\"There，there，mydarling！\"Hecouldfeelthesnugglingofhercheekagainsthisshoulder。Hehadgother——hadgother！Hewassomehowcertainthatshewouldnotdrawbacknow。Andinthewonderandecstasyofthatthought，alltheworldaboveherhead，thestarsintheircourses，thewoodwhichhadfrightenedher，seemedmiraclesofbeautyandfitness。Bysuchfortuneashadnevercometoman，hehadgother！
Andhemurmuredoverandoveragain:
\"Iloveyou！\"Shewasrestingperfectlyquietagainsthim，whileherheartceasedgraduallytobeatsofast。HecouldfeelhercheekrubbingagainsthiscoatofHarristweed。Suddenlyshesniffedatit，andwhispered:
\"Itsmellsgood。\"
VI
WhensummersunhasburnedallEgypt，thewhitemanlookseagerlyeachdayforevening，whoserose—colouredveilmeltsopalescentintothedundrift，ofthehills，andiridescentabove，intotheslowlydeepeningblue。Piersonstoodgazingatthemysteryofthedesertfromunderthelittlegroupofpalmsandbougainvilleawhichformedthegardenofthehospital。Even—songwasinfullvoice:Fromthefarwingagramophonewasgrindingoutamusic—hallditty;twoaeroplanes，wheelingexactlylikethebuzzardsofthedesert，werelettingdripthefaintwhiroftheirflight;metallicvoicesdriftedfromtheArabvillage;thewheelsofthewater—wellscreaked;andeverynowandthenadryrustlewasstirredfromthepalm—leavesbypuffsofdesertwind。Oneitherhandanoldroadranout，whoselinecouldbemarkedbythelittleoldwatch—towersofanotherage。ForhowmanyhundredyearshadhumanlifepassedalongittoEastandWest;thebrownmenandtheircamels，threadingthatimmemorialtrackoverthedesert，whicheverfilledhimwithwonder，sostillitwas，sowide，sodesolate，andeveryeveningsobeautiful！Hesometimesfeltthathecouldsitforeverlookingatit;asthoughitscruelmysteriouslovelinesswere——home;andyetheneverlookedatitwithoutaspasmofhomesickness。
Sofarhisnewworkhadbroughthimnonearertotheheartsofmen。
Oratleasthedidnotfeelithad。Bothattheregimentalbase，andnowinthishospital——anintermediatestage——waitingforthedraftwithwhichhewouldbegoingintoPalestine，allhadbeenverynicetohim，friendly，andasitwereindulgent;somightschoolboyshavetreatedsomewell—intentioneddreamymaster，orbusinessmenaharmlessidealisticinventorwhocamevisitingtheiroffices。Hehadeventhefeelingthattheyweregladtohavehimabout，justastheyweregladtohavetheirmascotsandtheirregimentalcolours;butofheart—to—heartsimplecomradeship——itseemedtheyneitherwanteditofhimnorexpectedhimtogiveit，sothathehadafeelingthathewouldbeforwardandimpertinenttoofferit。Moreover，henolongerknewhow。Hewasverylonely。’WhenIcomefacetofacewithdeath，’hewouldthink，’itwillbedifferent。Deathmakesusallbrothers。Imaybeofrealusetothemthen。’
Theybroughthimaletterwhilehestoodtherelisteningtothateven—song，gazingattheolddesertroad。
\"DARLINGDAD，\"IdohopethiswillreachyoubeforeyoumoveontoPalestine。Yousaidinyourlast——attheendofSeptember，soIhopeyou’lljustgetit。Thereisonegreatpieceofnews，whichI’mafraidwillhurtandtroubleyou;NollieismarriedtoJimmyFort。Theyweremarrieddownherethisafternoon，andhavejustgoneuptoTown。Theyhavetofindahouseofcourse。Shehasbeenveryrestless，lonely，andunhappyeversinceyouwent，andI’msureitisreallyforthebest:
Sheisquiteanothercreature，andsimplydevoted，headlong。It’sjustlikeNollie。Shesaysshedidn’tknowwhatshewanted，uptothelastminute。Butnowsheseemsasifshecouldneverwantanythingelse。
\"Daddear，Nolliecouldneverhavemadegoodbyherself。Itisn’thernature，andit’smuchbetterlikethis，Ifeelsure，andsodoesGeorge。Ofcourseitisn’tideal——andonewantedthatforher;butshedidbreakherwing，andheissoawfullygoodanddevotedtoher，thoughyoudidn’tbelieveit，andperhapswon’t，evennow。Thegreatthingistofeelherhappyagain，andknowshe’ssafe。Nollieiscapableofgreatdevotion;onlyshemustbeanchored。Shewasdriftingallabout;andonedoesn’tknowwhatshemighthavedone，inoneofhermoods。Idohopeyouwon’tgrieveaboutit。She’sdreadfullyanxiousabouthowyou’llfeel。Iknowitwillbewretchedforyou，sofaroff;butdotryandbelieveit’sforthebest……
She’soutofdanger;andshewasreallyinahorribleposition。It’ssogoodforthebaby，too，andonlyfairtohim。Idothinkonemusttakethingsastheyare，Daddear。ItwasimpossibletomendNollie’swing。Ifshewereafighter，andgloriedinit，orifshewerethesortwhowould’taketheveil’——butsheisn’teither。Soitisallright，Dad。She’swritingtoyouherself。I’msureLeiladidn’twantJimmyForttobeunhappybecausehecouldn’tloveher;orshewouldneverhavegoneaway。Georgesendsyouhislove;wearebothverywell。AndNollieislookingsplendidstill，afterherharvestwork。All，allmylove，Daddear。Isthereanythingwecanget，andsendyou？Dotakecareofyourblessedself，anddon’tgrieveaboutNollie。
\"GRATIAN。\"
Ahalf—sheetofpaperfluttereddown;hepickeditupfromamongtheparchedfibreofdeadpalm—leaves。
\"DADDYDARLING，\"I’vedoneit。Forgiveme—I’msohappy。
\"YourNOLLIE。\"
Thedesertshimmered，thepalm—leavesrustled，andPiersonstoodtryingtomastertheemotionrousedinhimbythosetwoletters。Hefeltnoanger，notevenvexation;hefeltnosorrow，butalonelinesssoutterandcompletethathedidnotknowhowtobearit。Itseemedasifsomelastlinkwithlifehad’snapped。’Mygirlsarehappy，’
hethought。’IfIamnot——whatdoesitmatter？Ifmyfaithandmyconvictionsmeannothingtothem——whyshouldtheyfollow？Imustandwillnotfeellonely。IoughttohavethesenseofGodpresent，tofeelHishandinmine。IfIcannot，whatuseamI——whatusetothepoorfellowsinthere，whatuseinalltheworld？’
Anoldnativeonadonkeywentby，pipingaSoudanesemelodyonalittlewoodenArabflute。Piersonturnedbackintothehospitalhummingit。Anursemethimthere。
\"ThepoorboyattheendofAwardissinkingfast，sir;Iexpecthe’dliketoseeyou，\"
HewentintoAward，andwalkeddownbetweenthebedstothewestwindowend，wheretwoscreenshadbeenput，toblockoffthecot。
Anothernurse，whowassittingbesideit，roseatonce。
\"He’squiteconscious，\"shewhispered;\"hecanstillspeakalittle。
He’ssuchadear。\"Atearrolleddownhercheek，andshepassedoutbehindthescreens。Piersonlookeddownattheboy;perhapshewastwenty，buttheunshavendownonhischeekswassoftandalmostcolourless。Hiseyeswereclosed。Hebreathedregularly，anddidnotseeminpain;buttherewasabouthimthatwhichtoldhewasgoing;somethingresigned，alreadyofthegrave。Thewindowwaswideopen，coveredbymosquito—netting，andatinylineofsunlight，slantingthroughacrossthefootofthecot，creptslowlybackwardsoverthesheetsandtheboy’sbody，shorteningasitcrept。Inthegreywhitenessofthewalls;thebed，theboy’sface，justthatpaleyellowbarofsunlight，andonesplashofredandbluefromalittleflagonthewallglowedout。Atthiscoolerhour，thewardbehindthescreenswasalmostempty，andfewsoundsbrokethestillness;butfromwithoutcamethatintermittentrustleofdrypalm—leaves。
Piersonwaitedinsilence，watchingthesunsink。Iftheboymightpasslikethis，itwouldbeGod’smercy。Thenhesawtheboy’seyesopen，wonderfullycleareyesofthelightedgreywhichhasdarkrims;
hislipsmoved，andPiersonbentdowntohear。
\"I’mgoin’West，zurr。\"Thewhisperhadalittlesoftburr;thelipsquivered;apuckerasofachildformedonhisface，andpassed。
ThroughPierson’smindthereflashedthethought:’OGod！Letmebesomehelptohim！’
\"ToGod，mydearson！\"hesaid。
Aflickerofhumour，ofironicquestion，passedovertheboy’slips。
Terriblymoved，Piersonkneltdown，andbegansoftly，ferventlypraying。Hiswhisperingmingledwiththerustleofthepalm—leaves，whilethebarofsunlightcreptupthebody。Intheboy’ssmilehadbeenthewholeofstoicdoubt，ofstoicacquiescence。Ithadmethimwithanunconsciouschallenge;hadseemedtoknowsomuch。Piersontookhishand，whichlayoutsidethesheet。Theboy’slipsmoved，asthoughinthanks;hedrewalongfeeblebreath，asiftosuckinthethreadofsunlight;andhiseyesclosed。Piersonbentoverthehand。
Whenhelookeduptheboywasdead。Hekissedhisforeheadandwentquietlyout。
Thesunhadset，andhewalkedawayfromthehospitaltoahillockbeyondthetrackonthedesert’sedge，andstoodlookingattheafterglow。Thesunandtheboy——togethertheyhadgoneWest，intothatwideglowingnothingness。
ThemuezzincalltosunsetprayerintheArabvillagecametohimclearandsharp，whilehesatthere，unutterablylonely。Whyhadthatsmilesomovedhim？Otherdeathsmileshadbeenlikethiseveningsmileonthedeserthills——aglowingpeace，apromiseofheaven。Buttheboy’ssmilehadsaid:’Wastenobreathonme——youcannothelp。Whoknows——whoknows？Ihavenohope，nofaith;butI
amadventuring。Good—bye！’Poorboy！Hehadbravedallthings，andmovedoutuncertain，yetundaunted！Wasthat，then，theuttermosttruth，wasfaithasmallerthing？Butfromthatstrangenotionhe。
recoiledwithhorror。’InfaithIhavelived，infaithIwilldie！’
hethought，’Godhelpingme！’Andthebreeze，rufflingthedesertsand，blewthegrainsagainstthepalmsofhishands，outstretchedabovethewarmearth。