andhegaveheracard。
Noelcouldnothelpanswering:\"MynameisNoelPierson;Ilivewithmyfather;here’stheaddress\"——shefoundhercase,andfishedoutacard。\"Myfatherisaclergyman;wouldyoucaretocomeandseehim?
Helovesmusicandpainting。\"
\"Itwouldbeagreatpleasure;andperhapsImightbeallowedtopaintyou。Alas!Ihavenostudio。\"
Noeldrewback。\"I’mafraidthatIworkinahospitalallday,and——
andIdon’twanttobepainted,thankyou。But,Daddywouldliketomeetyou,I’msure。\"
Thepainterbowedagain;shesawthathewashurt。
\"OfcourseIcanseethatyou’reaveryfinepainter,\"shesaidquickly;\"only——only——Idon’twantto,yousee。Perhapsyou’dliketopaintDaddy;he’sgotamostinterestingface。\"
Thepaintersmiled。\"Heisyourfather,mademoiselle。MayIaskyouonequestion?Whydoyounotwanttobepainted?\"
\"Because——becauseIdon’t,I’mafraid。\"Sheheldoutherhand。Thepainterbowedoverit。\"Aurevoir,mademoiselle。\"
\"Thankyou,\"saidNoel;\"itwasawfullyinteresting。\"Andshewalkedaway。Theskyhadbecomefullofcloudsroundthewesterlysun;andtheforeigncrinkledtraceryoftheplane—treebranchesagainstthatFrench—grey,golden—edgedmass,wasverylovely。Beauty,andthetroublesofothers,soothedher。Shefeltsorryforthepainter,buthiseyessawtoomuch!Andhiswords:\"Ifeveryouactdifferentlyfromothers,\"madeherfeelhimuncanny。Wasittruethatpeoplealwaysdislikedandcondemnedthosewhoacteddifferently?Ifheroldschool—fellowsnowknewwhatwasbeforeher,howwouldtheytreather?Inherfather’sstudyhungalittlereproductionofatinypictureintheLouvre,a\"RapeofEuropa,\"byanunknownpainter——
ahumorousdelicatething,ofanenraptured;fair—hairedgirlmountedonaprancingwhitebull,crossingashallowstream,whileonthebankallherwhitegirl—companionsweregathered,turninghalf—sour,half—enviousfacesawayfromthattoo—fearfulspectacle,whileoneofthemtriedwithtimiddesperationtomountastrideofasittingcow,andfollow。Thefaceofthegirlonthebullhadoncebeencomparedbysomeonewithherown。Shethoughtofthispicturenow,andsawherschoolfellows—athrongofshockedandwonderinggirls。Supposeoneofthemhadbeeninherposition!’ShouldIhavebeenturningmyfaceaway,liketherest?Iwouldn’tno,Iwouldn’t,’shethought;
’Ishouldhaveunderstood!’Butsheknewtherewasakindoffalseemphasisinherthought。Instinctivelyshefeltthepainterright。
Onewhoacteddifferentlyfromothers,waslost。
Shetoldherfatheroftheencounter,adding:
\"Iexpecthe’llcome,Daddy。\"
Piersonanswereddreamily:\"Poorfellow,Ishallbegladtoseehimifhedoes。\"
\"Andyou’llsittohim,won’tyou?\"
\"Mydear——I?\"
\"He’slonely,youknow,andpeoplearen’tnicetohim。Isn’tithatefulthatpeopleshouldhurtothers,becausethey’reforeignordifferent?\"
Shesawhiseyesopenwithmildsurprise,andwenton:\"Iknowyouthinkpeoplearecharitable,Daddy,buttheyaren’t,ofcourse。\"
\"That’snotexactlycharitable,Nollie。\"
\"Youknowthey’renot。Ithinksinoftenjustmeansdoingthingsdifferently。It’snotrealsinwhenitonlyhurtsyourself;butthatdoesn’tpreventpeoplecondemningyou,doesit?\"
\"Idon’tknowwhatyoumean,Nollie。\"
Noelbitherlips,andmurmured:\"Areyousurewe’rereallyChristians,Daddy?\"
Thequestionwassostartling,fromhisowndaughter,thatPiersontookrefugeinanattemptatwit。\"Ishouldlikenoticeofthatquestion,Nollie,astheysayinParliament。\"
\"Thatmeansyoudon’t。\"
Piersonflushed。\"We’refallibleenough;but,don’tgetsuchideasintoyourhead,mychild。There’salotofrebellioustalkandwritinginthesedays……\"
Noelclaspedherhandsbehindherhead。\"Ithink,\"shesaid,lookingstraightbeforeher,andspeakingtotheair,\"thatChristianityiswhatyoudo,notwhatyouthinkorsay。AndIdon’tbelievepeoplecanbeChristianswhentheyactlikeothers——Imean,whentheyjointogethertojudgeandhurtpeople。\"
Piersonroseandpacedtheroom。\"Youhavenotseenenoughoflifetotalklikethat,\"hesaid。ButNoelwenton:
\"OneofthemeninherhospitaltoldGratianaboutthetreatmentofconscientiousobjectors——itwashorrible。Whydotheytreatthemlikethat,justbecausetheydisagree?CaptainFortsaysit’sfearwhichmakespeoplebullies。Buthowcanitbefearwhenthey’rehundredstoone?Hesaysmanhasdomesticatedhisanimalsbuthasneversucceededindomesticatinghimself。Manmustbeawildbeast,youknow,ortheworldcouldn’tbesoawfullybrutal。Idon’tseemuchdifferencebetweenbeingbrutalforgoodreasons,andbeingbrutalforbadones。\"
Piersonlookeddownatherwithatroubledsmile。Therewassomethingfantastictohiminthissuddenphilosophisingbyonewhomhehadwatchedgrowupfromatinything。Outofthemouthsofbabesandsucklings——sometimes!Butthentheyounggenerationwasalwayssomethingofasealedbooktohim;hissensitiveshyness,and,stillmore,hiscloth,placedasortofinvisiblebarrierbetweenhimandtheheartsofothers,especiallytheyoung。Thereweresomanythingsofwhichhewascompelledtodisapprove,orwhichatleasthecouldn’tdiscuss。Andtheyknewittoowell。UntiltheselastfewmonthshehadneverrealisedthathisowndaughtershadremainedasundiscoveredbyhimastheinteriorofBrazil。Andnowthatheperceivedthis,hewasbewildered,yetcouldnotimaginehowtogetontermswiththem。
AndhestoodlookingatNoel,intenselypuzzled,suspectingnothingofthehardfactwhichwasalteringher——vaguelyjealous,anxious,pained。Andwhenshehadgoneuptobed,heroamedupanddowntheroomalongtime,thinking。Helongedforafriendtoconfidein,andconsult;butheknewnoone。Heshrankfromthemall,astoodownright,bluff,andactive;tooworldlyandunaesthetic;ortoostiffandnarrow。Amongsttheyoungermeninhisprofessionhewasoftenawareoffaceswhichattractedhim,butonecouldnotconfidedeeppersonalquestionstomenhalfone’sage。Butofhisowngeneration,orhiselders,heknewnotonetowhomhecouldhavegone。
VIII
1
Leilawasdeepinhernewdraughtoflife。Whenshefellinloveithadalwaysbeenoverheadandears,andsofarherpassionhadalwaysburntitselfoutbeforethatofherpartner。Thishadbeen,ofcourse,agreatadvantagetoher。NotthatLeilahadeverexpectedherpassionstoburnthemselvesout。Whenshefellinloveshehadalwaysthoughtitwasforalways。Thistimeshewassureitwas,surerthanshehadeverbeen。JimmyFortseemedtoherthemanshehadbeenlookingforallherlife。Hewasnotsogood—lookingaseitherFarieorLynch,butbesidehimtheseothersseemedtohernowalmostridiculous。Indeedtheydidnotfigureatall,theyshrank,theywithered,theywerehusks,togetherwiththeothersforwhomshehadknownpassingweaknesses。Therewasonlyonemanintheworldforhernow,andwouldbeforevermore。Shedidnotidealisehimeither,itwasmoreseriousthanthat;shewasthrilledbyhisvoice,andhistouch,shedreamedofhim,longedforhimwhenhewasnotwithher。Sheworried,too,forshewasperfectlyawarethathewasnothalfasfondofherasshewasofhim。Suchanewexperiencepuzzledher,keptherinstinctspainfullyonthealert。Itwasperhapsjustthisuncertaintyabouthisaffectionwhichmadehimseemmorepreciousthananyoftheothers。Buttherewasevertheotherreason,too—consciousnessthatTimewasafterher,andthisherlastgrandpassion。Shewatchedhimasamother—catwatchesherkitten,withoutseemingto,ofcourse,forshehadmuchexperience。ShehadbeguntohaveacurioussecretjealousyofNoelthoughwhyshecouldnothavesaid。Itwasperhapsmerelyincidentaltoherage,orsprangfromthatvagueresemblancebetweenherandonewhooutrivalledevenwhatshehadbeenasagirl;orfromtheoccasionalallusionsFortmadetowhathecalled\"thatlittlefairyprincess。\"
Somethingintangible,instinctive,gaveherthatjealousy。Untilthedeathofheryoungcousin’slovershehadfeltsafe,forsheknewthatJimmyFortwouldnothankerafteranotherman’sproperty;hadhenotprovedthatinolddays,withherself,byrunningawayfromher?
AndshehadoftenregrettedhavingtoldhimofCyrilMorland’sdeath。
Onedayshedeterminedtorepairthaterror。ItwasattheZoo,wheretheyoftenwentonSundayafternoons。Theywerestandingbeforeacreaturecalledthemeercat,whichremindedthembothofolddaysontheveldt。Withoutturningherheadshesaid,asiftothelittleanimal:\"Doyouknowthatyourfairyprincess,asyoucallher,isgoingtohavewhatisknownasawar—baby?\"
Thesoundofhis\"What!\"gaveherquiteastab。Itwassoutterlyhorrified。
Shesaidstubbornly:\"Shecameandtoldmeallaboutit。Theboyisdead,asyouknow。Yes,terrible,isn’tit?\"Andshelookedathim。
Hisfacewasalmostcomic,sowrinkledupwithincredulity。
\"Thatlovelychild!Butit’simpossible!\"
\"Theimpossibleissometimestrue,Jimmy。\"
\"Irefusetobelieveit。\"
\"Itellyouitisso,\"shesaidangrily。
\"Whataghastlyshame!\"
\"Itwasherowndoing;shesaidso,herself。\"
\"Andherfather——thepadre!MyGod!\"
Leilawassuddenlysmittenwithahorribledoubt。Shehadthoughtitwoulddisgusthim,curehimofanylittletendencytoromanticisethatchild;andnowsheperceivedthatitwasrousinginhim,instead,adangerouscompassion。Shecouldhavebittenhertongueoutforhavingspoken。Whenhegotonthehighhorseofsomechampionship,hewasnottobetrusted,shehadfoundthatout;wasevenfindingitoutbitterlyinherownrelationswithhim,constantlyawarethathalfherholdonhim,atleast,layinhissenseofchivalry,awarethatheknewherlurkingdreadofbeingflungonthebeach,byage。Onlytenminutesagohehadutteredatiradebeforethecageofamonkeywhichseemedunhappy。AndnowshehadrousedthatdangeroussideofhiminfavourofNoel。Whatanidiotshehadbeen!
\"Don’tlooklikethat,Jimmy。I’msorryItoldyou。\"
Hishanddidnotanswerherpressureintheleast,buthemuttered:
\"Well,Idothinkthat’sthelimit。What’stobedoneforher?\"
Leilaansweredsoftly:\"Nothing,I’mafraid。Doyouloveme?\"Andshepressedhishandhard。
\"Ofcourse。\"
ButLeilathought:’IfIwerethatmeercathe’dhavetakenmorenoticeofmypaw!’Herheartbegansuddenlytoache,andshewalkedontothenextcagewithheadup,andhermouthhardset。
JimmyFortwalkedawayfromCamelotMansionsthateveninginextremediscomfortofmind。Leilahadbeensoqueerthathehadtakenleaveimmediatelyaftersupper。ShehadrefusedtotalkaboutNoel;hadevenseemedangrywhenhehadtriedto。Howextraordinarysomewomenwere!Didtheythinkthatamancouldhearofathinglikethataboutsuchadaintyyoungcreaturewithoutbeingupset!Itwasthemostperfectlydamnablenews!Whatonearthwouldshedo——poorlittlefairyprincess!Downhadcomeherhouseofcardswithavengeance!Thewholeofherlife——thewholeofherlife!Withherbringing—upandherfatherandall——itseemedinconceivablethatshecouldeversurviveit。AndLeilahadbeenalmostcallousaboutthemonstrousbusiness。Womenwerehardtoeachother!Badenough,thesethings,whenitwasasimpleworkinggirl,butthisdainty,sheltered,beautifulchild!No,itwasaltogethertoostrong——toopainful!Andfollowinganimpulsewhichhecouldnotresist,hemadehiswaytotheoldSquare。Buthavingreachedthehouse,henearlywentawayagain。Whilehestoodhesitatingwithhishandonthebell,agirlandasoldierpassed,appearingasifbymagicoutofthemoonlitNovembermist,blurredandsolidshapesembraced,thenvanishedintoitagain,leavingthesoundoffootsteps。Fortjerkedthebell。Hewasshownintowhatseemed,toonecomingoutofthatmist,tobeabrilliant,crowdedroom,thoughintruththerewerebuttwolampsandfivepeopleinit。Theyweresittingroundthefire,talking,andpausedwhenhecamein。WhenhehadshakenhandswithPiersonandbeenintroducedto\"mydaughterGratian\"andamaninkhaki\"myson—in—lawGeorgeLaird,\"toatallthin—faced,foreign—。
lookingmaninablackstockandseeminglynocollar,hewentuptoNoel,whohadrisenfromachairbeforethefire。’No!’hethought,’I’vedreamedit,orLeilahaslied!’Shewassoperfectlytheself—
possessed,daintymaidenheremembered。Eventhefeelofherhandwasthesame—warmandconfident;andsinkingintoachair,hesaid:
\"Pleasegoon,andletmechipin。\"
\"WewerequarrellingabouttheUniverse,CaptainFort,\"saidthemaninkhaki;\"delightedtohaveyourhelp。Iwasjustsayingthatthisparticularworldhasnoparticularimportance,nomorethananewspaper—sellerwouldaccordtoitifitwerecompletelydestroyedtomorrow——’’Orriblecatastrophe,totaldestructionoftheworld——sixo’clockedition—pyper!’Isaythatitwillbecomeagainthenebulaoutofwhichitwasformed,andbyfrictionwithothernebulare—formintoafreshshapeandsoonadinfinitum——butIcan’texplainwhy。
Mywifewondersifitexistsatallexceptinthehumanmind——butshecan’texplainwhatthehumanmindis。Myfather—in—lawthinksthatitisGod’shobby——buthecan’texplainwhoorwhatGodis。Nollieissilent。AndMonsieurLavendiehasn’tyettolduswhathethinks。
Whatdoyouthink,monsieur?\"Thethin—faced,big—eyedmanputuphishandtohishigh,veinedbrowasifhehadaheadache,reddened,andbegantospeakinFrench,whichFortfollowedwithdifficulty。
\"FormetheUniverseisalimitlessartist,monsieur,whofromalltimeandtoalltimeiseverexpressinghimselfindifferingforms——
alwaystryingtomakeamasterpiece,andgenerallyfailing。Formethisworld,andalltheworlds,arelikeourselves,andtheflowersandtrees——littleseparateworksofart,moreorlessperfect,whoselittlelivesruntheircourse,andarespilledorpowderedbackintothisCreativeArtist,whenceissueeverfreshattemptsatart。I
agreewithMonsieurLaird,ifIunderstandhimright;butIagreealsowithMadameLaird,ifIunderstandher。Yousee,Ithinkmindandmatterareone,orperhapsthereisnosuchthingaseithermindormatter,onlygrowthanddecayandgrowthagain,foreverandever;
butalwaysconsciousgrowth——anartistexpressinghimselfinmillionsofever—changingforms;decayanddeathaswecallthem,beingbutrestandsleep,theebbingofthetide,whichmustevercomebetweentworisingtides,orthenightwhichcomesbetweentwodays。Butthenextdayisneverthesameasthedaybefore,northetideasthelasttide;sothelittleshapesoftheworldandofourselves,theseworksofartbytheEternalArtist,areneverrenewedinthesameform,arenevertwicealike,butalwaysfresh—freshworlds,freshindividuals,freshflowers,fresheverything。Idonotseeanythingdepressinginthat。TomeitwouldbedepressingtothinkthatI
wouldgoonlivingafterdeath,orliveagaininanewbody,myselfyetnotmyself。Howstalethatwouldbe!WhenIfinishapictureitisinconceivabletomethatthispictureshouldeverbecomeanotherpicture,orthatonecandividetheexpressionfromthemind—stuffithasexpressed。TheGreatArtistwhoisthewholeofEverything,iseverinfreshefforttoachievenewthings。Heisasafountainwhothrowsupnewdrops,notwoeveralike,whichfallbackintothewater,flowintothepipe,andsoarethrownupagaininfresh—shapeddrops。ButIcannotexplainwhythereshouldbethisEternalEnergy,everexpressingitselfinfreshindividualshapes,thisEternalWorkingArtist,insteadofnothingatall——justemptydarkforalways;exceptindeedthatitmustbeonethingortheother,eitherallornothing;andithappenstobethisandnotthat,theallandnotthenothing。\"
Hestoppedspeaking,andhisbigeyes,whichhadfixedthemselvesonFort’sface,seemedtothelatternottobeseeinghimatall,buttorestonsomethingbeyond。Themaninkhaki,whohadrisenandwasstandingwithhishandonhiswife’sshoulder,said:
\"Bravo,monsieur;Jollywellputfromtheartist’spointofview。
Theideaispretty,anyway;butisthereanyneedforanideaatall?
Thingsare;andwehavejusttotakethem。\"Forthadtheimpressionofsomethingdarkandwrithing;thethinblackformofhishost,whohadrisenandcomeclosetothefire。
\"Icannotadmit,\"hewassaying,\"theidentityoftheCreatorwiththecreated。Godexistsoutsideourselves。NorcanIadmitthatthereisnodefnitepurposeandfulfilment。AllisshapedtoHisgreatends。Ithinkwearetoogiventospiritualpride。Theworldhaslostreverence;Iregretit,Ibitterlyregretit。\"
\"Irejoiceatit,\"saidthemaninkhaki。\"Now,CaptainFort,yourturntobat!\"
Fort,whohadbeenlookingatNoel,gavehimselfashake,andsaid:
\"Ithinkwhatmonsieurcallsexpression,Icallfighting。IsuspecttheUniverseofbeingsimplyalongfight,asumofconquestsanddefeats。Conquestsleadingtodefeats,defeatstoconquests。IwanttowinwhileI’malive,andbecauseIwanttowin,Iwanttoliveonafterdeath。Deathisadefeat。Idon’twanttoadmitit。WhileI
havethatinstinct,Idon’tthinkIshallreallydie;whenIloseit,IthinkIshall。\"HewasconsciousofNoel’sfaceturningtowardshim,buthadthefeelingthatshewasn’treallylistening。
\"Isuspectthatwhatwecallspiritisjustthefightinginstinct;
thatwhatwecallmatteristhemoodoflyingdown。Whether,asMr。
Piersonsays,Godisoutsideus,or,asmonsieurthinks,weareallpartofGod,Idon’tknow,I’msure。\"
\"Ah!Thereweare!\"saidthemaninkhaki。\"Weallspeakafterourtemperaments,andnoneofusknow。Thereligionsoftheworldarejustthepoeticexpressionsofcertainstronglymarkedtemperaments。
Monsieurwasapoetjustnow,andhisistheonlytemperamentwhichhasneveryetbeenrammeddowntheworld’sthroatintheformofreligion。Gooutandproclaimyourviewsfromthehousetops,monsieur,andseewhathappens。\"
ThepaintershookhisheadwithasmilewhichseemedtoFortverybrightonthesurface,andverysadunderneath。
\"Non,monsieur,\"hesaid;\"theartistdoesnotwishtoimposehistemperament。Differenceoftemperamentistheveryessenceofhisjoy,andhisbeliefinlife。Withoutdifferencetherewouldbenolifeforhim。’Toutcasse,toutlasse,’butchangegoesonforever:
Weartistsreverencechange,monsieur;wereverencethenewnessofeachmorning,ofeachnight,ofeachperson,ofeachexpressionofenergy。Nothingisfinalforus;weareeagerforallandalwaysformore。Weareinlove,yousee,evenwith—death。\"
Therewasasilence;thenFortheardPiersonmurmur:
\"Thatisbeautiful,monsieur;butoh!howwrong!\"\"Andwhatdoyouthink,Nollie?\"saidthemaninkhakisuddenly。Thegirlhadbeensittingverystillinherlowchair,withherhandscrossedinherlap,hereyesonthefire,andthelamplightshiningdownonherfairhair;shelookedup,startled,andhereyesmetFort’s。
\"Idon’tknow;Iwasn’tlistening。\"Somethingmovedinhim,akindofburningpity,arageofprotection。Hesaidquickly:
\"Thesearetimesofaction。Philosophyseemstomeannothingnowadays。Theonethingistohatetyrannyandcruelty,andprotecteverythingthat’sweakandlonely。It’sallthat’slefttomakelifeworthliving,whenallthepacksofalltheworldareoutforblood。\"
Noelwaslisteningnow,andhewentonfervently:\"Why!EvenwewhostartedouttofightthisPrussianpack,havecaughtthepackfeeling——sothatit’shuntingalloverthecountry,oneverysortofscent。
It’samostinfectiousthing。\"
\"Icannotseethatwearebeinginfected,CaptainFort。\"
\"I’mafraidweare,Mr。Pierson。Thegreatmajorityofpeoplearealwaysinclinedtorunwiththehounds;thepressure’sgreatjustnow;thepackspirit’sintheair。\"
Piersonshookhishead。\"No,Icannotseeit,\"herepeated;\"itseemstomethatweareallmorebrotherly,andmoretolerant。\"
\"Ah!monsieurlecure,\"Fortheardthepaintersayverygently,\"itisdifficultforagoodmantoseetheevilroundhim。Therearethosewhomtheworld’smarchleavesapart,andrealitycannottouch。
TheywalkwithGod,andthebestialitiesofusanimalsarefantastictothem。Thespiritofthepack,asmonsieursays,isintheair。I
seeallhumannaturenow,runningwithgapingmouthsandredtongueslollingout,theirbreathandtheircriesspoutingthickbeforethem。
Onwhomtheywillfallnext——oneneverknows;theinnocentwiththeguilty。Perhapsifyouweretoseesomeonedeartoyoudevouredbeforeyoureyes,monsieurlecure,youwouldfeelittoo;andyetI
donotknow。\"
FortsawNoelturnherfacetowardsherfather;herexpressionatthatmomentwasverystrange,searching,halffrightened。No!Leilahadnotlied,andhehadnotdreamed!Thatthingwastrue!
Whenpresentlyhetookhisleave,andwasoutagainintheSquare,hecouldseenothingbutherfaceandformbeforehiminthemoonlight:
itssoftoutline,faircolouring,slenderdelicacy,andthebroodingofthebiggreyeyes。HehadalreadycrossedNewOxfordStreetandwassomewaydowntowardstheStrand,whenavoicebehindhimmurmured:\"Ah!c’estvous,monsieur!\"andthepainterloomedupathiselbow。
\"Areyougoingmyway?\"saidFort。\"Igoslowly,I’mafraid。\"
\"Theslowerthebetter,monsieur。Londonissobeautifulinthedark。Itisthedespairofthepainter——thesemoonlitnights。Therearemomentswhenonefeelsthatrealitydoesnotexist。Allisindreams——likethefaceofthatyounglady。\"
Fortstaredsharplyroundathim。\"Oh!Shestrikesyoulikethat,doesshe?\"
\"Ah!Whatacharmingfigure!Whatanatmosphereofthepastandfutureroundher!Andshewillnotletmepainther!Well,perhapsonlyMathieuMaris\"HeraisedhisbroadBohemianhat,andranhisfingersthroughhishair。
\"Yes,\"saidFort,\"she’dmakeawonderfulpicture。I’mnotajudgeofArt,butIcanseethat。\"
Thepaintersmiled,andwentoninhisrapidFrench:
\"Shehasyouthandageallatonce——thatisrare。Herfatherisaninterestingman,too;Iamtryingtopainthim;heisverydifficult。
Hesitslostinsomekindofvacancyofhisown;amanwhosesoulhasgonebeforehimsomewhere,likethatofhisChurch,escapedfromthisageofmachines,leavingitsbodybehind——isitnot?Heissokind;
asaint,Ithink。TheotherclergymenIseepassinginthestreetarenotatalllikehim;theylookbuttoned—upandbusy,withfacesofmenwhomightbeschoolmastersorlawyers,orevensoldiers——menofthisworld。Doyouknowthis,monsieur——itisironical,butitistrue,Ithinkamancannotbeasuccessfulpriestunlessheisamanofthisworld。IdonotseeanywiththatlookofMonsieurPierson,alittletorturedwithin,andnotquitepresent。Heishalfanartist,reallyaloverofmusic,thatman。Iampaintinghimatthepiano;whenheisplayinghisfaceisalive,buteventhen,sofaraway。Tome,monsieur,heisexactlylikeabeautifulchurchwhichknowsitisbeingdeserted。Ifindhimpathetic。Jesuissocialiste,butIhavealwaysanaestheticadmirationforthatoldChurch,whichhelditschildrenbysimpleemotion。Thetimeshavechanged;itcannolongerholdthemso;itstandsinthedusk,withitsspiretoaheavenwhichexistsnomore,itsbells,stillbeautifulbutoutoftunewiththemusicofthestreets。ItissomethingofthatwhichIwishtogetintomypictureofMonsieurPierson;andsapristi!itisdifficult!\"Fortgruntedassent。Sofarashecouldmakeoutthepainter’swords,itseemedtohimalargeorder。
\"Todoit,yousee,\"wentonthepainter,\"oneshouldhavetheproperbackground——thesecurrentsofmodernlifeandmoderntypes,passinghimandleavinghimuntouched。Thereisnoillusion,andnodreaming,inmodernlife。Lookatthisstreet。La,la!\"
InthedarkenedStrand,hundredsofkhaki—cladfiguresandgirlswerestreamingby,andalltheirvoiceshadahard,half—jovialvulgarity。
Themotor—cabsandbusespushedalongremorselessly;newspaper—
sellersmutteredtheirceaselessinvitations。Againthepaintermadehisgestureofdespair:\"HowamItogetintomypicturethismodernlife,whichwashesroundhimasroundthatchurch,there,standinginthemiddleofthestreet?Seehowthecurrentssweeproundit,asiftowashitaway;yetitstands,seemingnottoseethem。IfIwereaphantasist,itwouldbeeasyenough:buttobeaphantasististoosimpleforme——thoseromanticgentlemenbringwhattheylikefromanywhere,toservetheirends。Moi,jesuisrealiste。Andso,monsieur,Ihaveinventedanidea。Iampaintingoverhisheadwhilehesitsthereatthepianoapicturehangingonthewall——ofoneoftheseyoungtowngirlswhohavenomysteriousnessatall,noyouth;
nothingbutacheapknowledgeanddefiance,andgoodhumour。Heislookingupatit,buthedoesnotseeit。Iwillmakethefaceofthatgirlthefaceofmodernlife,andheshallsitstaringatit,seeingnothing。Whatdoyouthinkofmyidea?\"
ButForthadbeguntofeelsomethingoftherevoltwhichthemanofactionsosoonexperienceswhenhelistenstoanartisttalking。
\"Itsoundsallright,\"hesaidabruptly;\"allthesame,monsieur,allmysympathyiswithmodernlife。Taketheseyounggirls,andtheseTommies。Foralltheirfeather—patedvulgarityandtheyaredamnedvulgar,Imustsay——they’remarvellouspeople;theydotaketheroughwiththesmooth;they’reall’doingtheirbit,’youknow,andfacingthisparticularlybeastlyworld。Aesthetically,Idaresay,they’redeplorable,butcanyousaythatonthewholetheirphilosophyisn’tanadvanceonanythingwe’vehaduptillnow?Theyworshipnothing,it’strue;buttheykeeptheirendsupmarvellously。\"
Thepainter,whoseemedtofeelthewindblowingcoldonhisideas,shruggedhisshoulders。
\"Iamnotconcernedwiththat,monsieur;IsetdownwhatIsee;
betterorworse,Idonotknow。Butlookatthis!\"Andhepointeddownthedarkenedandmoonlitstreet。Itwasalljewelledandenamelledwithlittlespotsandsplashesofsubduedredandgreen—
bluelight,andthedownwardorangeglowofthehighlamps——likeanenchanteddream—streetpeopledbycountlessmovingshapes,whichonlycametoearth—realitywhenseencloseto。Thepainterdrewhisbreathinwithahiss。