’It’stherightkind，’herepliedsolemnly。’Say，Major，whatareyourlotfightingfor？ForyourownskinsandyourEmpireandthepeaceofEurope。Waal，thoseidealsdon’tconcernusonecent。
We’renotEuropeans，andtherearen’tanyGermantrenchesonLongIslandyet。You’vemadetheringinEurope，andifwecamebuttinginitwouldn’tbetherulesofthegame。Youwouldn’twelcomeus，andIguessyou’dberight。We’rethatdelicate—mindedwecan’tinterfereandthatwaswhatmyfriend，PresidentWilson，meantwhenheopinedthatAmericawastooproudtofight。Sowe’renootrals。Butlikewisewe’rebenevolentnootrals。AsIfollowevents，there’saskunkbeenletlooseintheworld，andtheodourofitisgoingtomakelifenonetoosweettillitisclearedaway。Itwasn’tusthatstirredupthatskunk，butwe’vegottotakeahandindisinfectingtheplanet。See？Wecan’tfight，but，byGod！someofusaregoingtosweatbloodtosweepthemessup。OfficiallywedonothingexceptgiveoffNoteslikealeakyboilergivesoffsteam。
Butasindividooalcitizenswe’reinituptotheneck。So，inthespiritofJeffersonDavisandWoodrowWilson，I’mgoingtobethenootralistkindofnootraltillKaiserwillbesorryhedidn’tdeclarewaronAmericaatthebeginning。’
Iwascompletelyrecoveringmytemper。Thisfellowwasaperfectjewel，andhisspiritputpurposeintome。
’IguessyouBritishwerethesamekindofnootralwhenyourAdmiralwarnedofftheGermanfleetfrominterferingwithDeweyinManilaBayin’98。’MrBlenkirondrankupthelastdropofhisboiledmilkandlitathinblackcigar。
Ileanedforward。’HaveyoutalkedtoSirWalter？’Iasked。
’Ihavetalkedtohim，andhehasgivenmetounderstandthatthere’sadealaheadwhichyou’regoingtoboss。Therearenofliesonthatbigman，andifhesaysit’sgoodbusinessthenyoucancountmein。’
’Youknowthatit’suncommonlydangerous？’
’Ijudgedso。Butitdon’tdotobegincountingrisks。Ibelieveinanall—wiseandbeneficentProvidence，butyouhavegottotrustHimandgiveHimachance。What’slifeanyhow？Forme，it’slivingonastrictdietandhavingfrequentpainsinmystomach。Itisn’tsuchanalmightylottogiveup，providedyougetagoodpriceinthedeal。Besides，howbigistherisk？Aboutoneo’clockinthemorning，whenyoucan’tsleep，itwillbethesizeofMountEverest，butifyourunouttomeetit，itwillbeahillockyoucanjumpover。
Thegrizzlylooksveryfiercewhenyou’retakingyourticketfortheRockiesandwonderingifyou’llcomeback，buthe’sjustanordinarybearwhenyou’vegotthesightofyourrifleonhim。Iwon’tthinkaboutriskstillI’muptomyneckinthemanddon’tseetheroadout。’
Iscribbledmyaddressonapieceofpaperandhandedittothestoutphilosopher。’Cometodinnertonightateight，’Isaid。
’Ithankyou，Major。Alittlefish，please，plain—boiled，andsomehotmilk。YouwillforgivemeifIborrowyourcouchafterthemealandspendtheeveningonmyback。Thatistheadviceofmynoodoctor。’
Igotataxianddrovetomyclub。OnthewayIopenedtheenvelopeSirWalterhadgivenme。Itcontainedanumberofjottings，thedossierofMrBlenkiron。HehaddonewondersfortheAlliesintheStates。HehadnosedouttheDumbaplot，andhadbeeninstrumentalingettingtheportfolioofDrAlbert。VonPapen’sspieshadtriedtomurderhim，afterhehaddefeatedanattempttoblowuponeofthebiggunfactories。SirWalterhadwrittenattheend:’Thebestmanweeverhad。BetterthanScudder。HewouldgothroughhellwithaboxofbismuthtabletsandapackofPatiencecards。’
Iwentintothelittlebacksmoking—room，borrowedanatlasfromthelibrary，pokedupthefire，andsatdowntothink。MrBlenkironhadgivenmethefillipIneeded。Mymindwasbeginningtoworknow，andwasrunningwideoverthewholebusiness。NotthatIhopedtofindanythingbymycogitations。Itwasn’tthinkinginanarm—chairthatwouldsolvethemystery。ButIwasgettingasortofgriponaplanofoperations。AndtomyreliefIhadstoppedthinkingabouttherisks。Blenkironhadshamedmeoutofthat。Ifasedentarydyspepticcouldshowthatkindofnerve，Iwasn’tgoingtobebehindhim。
Iwentbacktomyflataboutfiveo’clock。MymanPaddockhadgonetothewarslongago，soIhadshiftedtooneofthenewblocksinParkLanewheretheyprovidefoodandservice。IkepttheplaceontohaveahometogotowhenIgotleave。It’samiserablebusinessholidayinginanhotel。
Sandywasdevouringtea—cakeswiththeseriousresolutionofaconvalescent。
’Well，Dick，what’sthenews？Isitabrasshatortheboot？’
’Neither，’Isaid。’ButyouandIaregoingtodisappearfromHisMajesty’sforces。Secondedforspecialservice。’
’Omysaintedaunt！’saidSandy。’Whatisit？ForHeaven’ssakeputmeoutofpain。Havewetotoutdeputationsofsuspiciousneutralsovermunitionworksortaketheshiveringjournalistinamotor—carwherehecanimagineheseesaBoche？’
’Thenewswillkeep。ButIcantellyouthismuch。It’saboutassafeandeasyastogothroughtheGermanlineswithawalking—stick。’
’Come，that’snotsodusty，’saidSandy，andbegancheerfullyonthemuffins。
ImustspareamomenttointroduceSandytothereader，forhecannotbeallowedtoslipintothistalebyaside—door。IfyouwillconsultthePeerageyouwillfindthattoEdwardCospatrick，fifteenthBaronClanroyden，therewasbornintheyear1882，ashissecondson，LudovickGustavusArbuthnot，commonlycalledtheHonourable，etc。ThesaidsonwaseducatedatEtonandNewCollege，Oxford，wasacaptainintheTweeddaleYeomanry，andservedforsomeyearsashonoraryattacheatvariousembassies。ThePeeragewillstopshortatthispoint，butthatisbynomeanstheendofthestory。Fortherestyoumustconsultverydifferentauthorities。LeanbrownmenfromtheendsoftheearthmaybeseenontheLondonpavementsnowandthenincreasedclothes，walkingwiththelightoutlandstep，slinkingintoclubsasiftheycouldnotrememberwhetherornottheybelongedtothem。FromthemyoumaygetnewsofSandy。Betterstill，youwillhearofhimatlittleforgottenfishingportswheretheAlbanianmountainsdiptotheAdriatic。IfyoustruckaMeccapilgrimagetheoddsareyouwouldmeetadozenofSandy’sfriendsinit。Inshepherds’hutsintheCaucasusyouwillfindbitsofhiscast—offclothing，forhehasaknackofsheddinggarmentsashegoes。InthecaravanseraisofBokharaandSamarkandheisknown，andthereareshikarisinthePamirswhostillspeakofhimroundtheirfires。IfyouweregoingtovisitPetrogradorRomeorCairoitwouldbenouseaskinghimforintroductions;ifhegavethem，theywouldleadyouintostrangehaunts。ButifFatecompelledyoutogotoLlasaorYarkandorSeistanhecouldmapoutyourroadforyouandpassthewordtopotentfriends。Wecallourselvesinsular，butthetruthisthatwearetheonlyraceonearththatcanproducemencapableofgettinginsidetheskinofremotepeoples。PerhapstheScotsarebetterthantheEnglish，butwe’reallathousandpercentbetterthananybodyelse。SandywasthewanderingScotcarriedtothepitchofgenius。
InolddayshewouldhaveledacrusadeordiscoveredanewroadtotheIndies。Todayhemerelyroamedasthespiritmovedhim，tillthewarswepthimupanddumpedhimdowninmybattalion。
IgotoutSirWalter’shalf—sheetofnote—paper。Itwasnottheoriginal—naturallyhewantedtokeepthat—butitwasacarefultracing。ItookitthatHarryBullivanthadnotwrittendownthewordsasamemoforhisownuse。Peoplewhofollowhiscareerhavegoodmemories。Hemusthavewrittentheminorderthat，ifheperishedandhisbodywasfound，hisfriendsmightgetaclue。
Wherefore，Iargued，thewordsmustbeintelligibletosomebodyorotherofourpersuasion，andlikewisetheymustbeprettywellgibberishtoanyTurkorGermanthatfoundthem。
Thefirst，’_Kasredin’，Icouldmakenothingof。
IaskedSandy。
’YoumeanNasr—ed—din，’hesaid，stillmunchingcrumpets。
’What’sthat？’Iaskedsharply。
’He’stheGeneralbelievedtobecommandingagainstusinMesopotamia。IrememberhimyearsagoinAleppo。HetalkedbadFrenchanddrankthesweetestofsweetchampagne。’
Ilookedcloselyatthepaper。The’K’wasunmistakable。
’Kasredinisnothing。ItmeansinArabictheHouseofFaith，andmightcoveranythingfromHagiaSofiatoasuburbanvilla。What’syournextpuzzle，Dick？Haveyouenteredforaprizecompetitioninaweeklypaper？’
’_Cancer，’Ireadout。
’ItistheLatinforacrab。Likewiseitisthenameofapainfuldisease。itisalsoasignoftheZodiac。’
’_V。_I，’Iread。
’Thereyouhaveme。Itsoundslikethenumberofamotor—car。
Thepolicewouldfindoutforyou。Icallthisratheradifficultcompetition。What’stheprize？’
Ipassedhimthepaper。’Whowroteit？Itlooksasifhehadbeeninahurry。’
’HarryBullivant，’Isaid。
Sandy’sfacegrewsolemn。’OldHarry。Hewasatmytutor’s。
ThebestfellowGodevermade。IsawhisnameinthecasualtylistbeforeKut……Harrydidn’tdothingswithoutapurpose。What’sthestoryofthispaper？’
’Waittillafterdinner，’Isaid。’I’mgoingtochangeandhaveabath。There’sanAmericancomingtodine，andhe’spartofthebusiness。’
MrBlenkironarrivedpunctualtotheminuteinafurcoatlikeaRussianprince’s。NowthatIsawhimonhisfeetIcouldjudgehimbetter。Hehadafatface，butwasnottooplumpinfigure，andverymuscularwristsshowedbelowhisshirt—cuffs。Ifanciedthat，iftheoccasioncalled，hemightbeagoodmanwithhishands。
SandyandIateaheartymeal，buttheAmericanpickedathisboiledfishandsippedhismilkadropatatime。Whentheservanthadclearedaway，hewasasgoodashiswordandlaidhimselfoutonmysofa。Iofferedhimagoodcigar，buthepreferredoneofhisownleanblackabominations。Sandystretchedhislengthinaneasychairandlithispipe。’Nowforyourstory，Dick，’hesaid。
Ibegan，asSirWalterhadbegunwithme，bytellingthemaboutthepuzzleintheNearEast。Ipitchedaprettygoodyarn，forIhadbeenthinkingalotaboutit，andthemysteryofthebusinesshadcaughtmyfancy。Sandygotverykeen。
’Itispossibleenough。Indeed，I’vebeenexpectingit，thoughI’mhangedifIcanimaginewhatcardtheGermanshavegotuptheirsleeve。Itmightbeanyoneoftwentythings。ThirtyyearsagotherewasabogusprophecythatplayedthedevilinYemen。OritmightbeaflagsuchasAliWadHeluhad，orajewellikeSolomon’snecklaceinAbyssinia。Youneverknowwhatwillstartoffajehad！
ButIratherthinkit’saman。’
’Wherecouldhegethispurchase？’Iasked。
’It’shardtosay。IfitweremerelywildtribesmenliketheBedouinhemighthavegotareputationasasaintandmiracle—worker。Orhemightbeafellowthatpreachedapurereligion，likethechapthatfoundedtheSenussi。ButI’minclinedtothinkhemustbesomethingextraspecialifhecanputaspellonthewholeMoslemworld。TheTurkandthePersianwouldn’tfollowtheordinarynewtheologygame。HemustbeoftheBlood。YourMahdisandMullahsandImamswerenobodies，buttheyhadonlyalocalprestige。TocaptureallIslam—andIgatherthatiswhatwefear—themanmustbeoftheKoreish，thetribeoftheProphethimself。’
’Buthowcouldanyimpostorprovethat？ForIsupposehe’sanimpostor。’
’Hewouldhavetocombinealotofclaims。Hisdescentmustbeprettygoodtobeginwith，andtherearefamilies，remember，thatclaimtheKoreishblood。Thenhe’dhavetoberatherawonderonhisownaccount—saintly，eloquent，andthatsortofthing。AndI
expecthe’dhavetoshowasign，thoughwhatthatcouldbeI
haven’tanotion。’
’YouknowtheEastaboutaswellasanylivingman。Doyouthinkthatkindofthingispossible？’Iasked。
’Perfectly，’saidSandy，withagraveface。
’Well，there’sthegroundclearedtobeginwith。Thenthere’stheevidenceofprettywelleverysecretagentwepossess。Thatallseemstoprovethefact。Butwehavenodetailsandnocluesexceptthatbitofpaper。’Itoldthemthestoryofit。
Sandystudieditwithwrinkledbrows。’Itbeatsme。Butitmaybethekeyforallthat。AcluemaybedumbinLondonandshoutaloudatBaghdad。’
’That’sjustthepointIwascomingto。SirWaltersaysthisthingisaboutasimportantforourcauseasbigguns。Hecan’tgivemeorders，butheoffersthejobofgoingouttofindwhatthemischiefis。Onceheknowsthat，hesayshecancheckmateit。Butit’sgottobefoundoutsoon，fortheminemaybesprungatanymoment。
I’vetakenonthejob。Willyouhelp？’
Sandywasstudyingtheceiling。
’Ishouldaddthatit’saboutassafeasplayingchuck—farthingattheLoosCross—roads，thedayyouandIwentin。Andifwefailnobodycanhelpus。’
’Oh，ofcourse，ofcourse，’saidSandyinanabstractedvoice。
MrBlenkiron，havingfinishedhisafter—dinnerrecumbency，hadsatupandpulledasmalltabletowardshim。FromhispockethehadtakenapackofPatiencecardsandhadbeguntoplaythegamecalledtheDoubleNapoleon。Heseemedtobeobliviousoftheconversation。
SuddenlyIhadafeelingthatthewholeaffairwasstarklunacy。
HerewerewethreesimpletonssittinginaLondonflatandprojectingamissionintotheenemy’scitadelwithoutanideawhatweweretodoorhowweweretodoit。Andoneofthethreewaslookingattheceiling，andwhistlingsoftlythroughhisteeth，andanotherwasplayingPatience。ThefarceofthethingstruckmesokeenlythatIlaughed。
Sandylookedatmesharply。
’Youfeellikethat？Samewithme。It’sidiocy，butallwarisidiotic，andthemostwhole—heartedidiotisapttowin。We’retogoonthismadtrailwhereverwethinkwecanhitit。Well，I’mwithyou。ButIdon’tmindadmittingthatI’minabluefunk。Ihadgotmyselfadjustedtothistrenchbusinessandwasquitehappy。Andnowyouhavehoickedmeout，andmyfeetarecold。’
’Idon’tbelieveyouknowwhatfearis，’Isaid。
’Thereyou’rewrong，Dick，’hesaidearnestly。’Everymanwhoisn’tamaniacknowsfear。Ihavedonesomedaftthings，butI
neverstartedonthemwithoutwishingtheywereover。OnceI’mintheshowIgeteasier，andbythetimeI’mcomingoutI’msorrytoleaveit。Butatthestartmyfeetareicy。’
’ThenItakeityou’recoming？’
’Rather，’hesaid。’Youdidn’timagineIwouldgobackonyou？’
’Andyou，sir？’IaddressedBlenkiron。
HisgameofPatienceseemedtobecomingout。Hewascompletingeightlittleheapsofcardswithacontentedgrunt。AsIspoke，heraisedhissleepyeyesandnodded。
’Why，yes，’hesaid。’Yougentlemenmustn’tthinkthatIhaven’tbeenfollowingyourmostengrossingconversation。IguessIhaven’tmissedasyllable。IfindthatagameofPatiencestimulatesthedigestionaftermealsandconducestoquietreflection。JohnS。
Blenkironiswithyouallthetime。’
Heshuffledthecardsanddealtforanewgame。
Idon’tthinkIeverexpectedarefusal，butthisreadyassentcheeredmewonderfully。Icouldn’thavefacedthethingalone。
’Well，that’ssettled。Nowforwaysandmeans。WethreehavegottoputourselvesinthewayoffindingoutGermany’ssecret，andwehavetogowhereitisknown。SomehoworotherwehavetoreachConstantinople，andtobeatthebiggestareaofcountrywemustgobydifferentroads。Sandy，mylad，you’vegottogetintoTurkey。You’retheonlyoneofusthatknowsthatengagingpeople。
Youcan’tgetinbyEuropeveryeasily，soyoumusttryAsia。WhataboutthecoastofAsiaMinor？’
’Itcouldbedone，’hesaid。’You’dbetterleavethatentirelytome。I’llfindoutthebestway。IsupposetheForeignOfficewillhelpmetogettothejumping—offplace？’
’Remember，’Isaid，’it’snogoodgettingtoofareast。Thesecret，sofarasconcernsus，isstillwestofConstantinople。’
’Iseethat。I’llblowinontheBosporusbyashorttack。’
’Foryou，MrBlenkiron，Iwouldsuggestastraightjourney。
You’reanAmerican，andcantravelthroughGermanydirect。ButI
wonderhowfaryouractivitiesinNewYorkwillallowyoutopassasaneutral？’
’Ihaveconsideredthat，Sir，’hesaid。’IhavegivensomethoughttothepecooliarpsychologyofthegreatGermannation。AsIreadthemthey’reascunningascats，andifyouplaythefelinegametheywilloutwityoueverytime。Yes，Sir，theyarenoslouchesatsleuth—
work。IfIweretobuyapairoffalsewhiskersanddyemyhairanddresslikeaBaptistparsonandgointoGermanyonthepeaceracket，Iguessthey’dbeonmytraillikeaknife，andIshouldbeshotasaspyinsideofaweekordoingsolitaryintheMoabiteprison。Buttheylackthelargervision。Theycanbebluffed，Sir。
WithyourapprovalIshallvisittheFatherlandasJohnS。Blenkiron，onceathorninthesideoftheirbrightestboysontheotherside。
ButitwillbeadifferentJohnS。Ireckonhewillhaveexperiencedachangeofheart。Hewillhavecometoappreciatethegreat，pure，noblesoulofGermany，andhewillbesorrowingforhispastlikeaconvertedgun—manatacampmeeting。HewillbeavictimofthemeannessandperfidyoftheBritishGovernment。Iamgoingtohaveafirst—classrowwithyourForeignOfficeaboutmypassport，andIamgoingtospeakharshwordsaboutthemupanddownthismetropolis。Iamgoingtobeshadowedbyyoursleuthsatmyportofembarkation，andIguessIshallrunuphardagainsttheBritishLe—gationsinScandinavia。BythattimeourTeutonicfriendswillhavebeguntowonderwhathashappenedtoJohnS。，andtothinkthatmaybetheyhavebeenmistakeninthatchild。So，whenIgettoGermanytheywillbewaitingformewithanopenmind。ThenI
judgemyconductwillsurpriseandencouragethem。IwillconfidetothemvaluablesecretinformationaboutBritishpreparations，andIwillshowuptheBritishlionasthemeanestkindofcur。Youmaytrustmetomakeagoodimpression。AfterthatI’llmoveeastwards，toseethedemolitionoftheBritishEmpireinthoseparts。Bytheway，whereistherendezvous？’
’Thisisthe17thdayofNovember。Ifwecan’tfindoutwhatwewantintwomonthswemaychuckthejob。Onthe17thofJanuaryweshouldforgatherinConstantinople。Whoevergetstherefirstwaitsfortheothers。Ifbythatdatewe’renotallpresent，itwillbeconsideredthatthemissingmanhasgotintotroubleandmustbegivenup。Ifeverwegettherewe’llbecomingfromdifferentpointsandindifferentcharacters，sowewantarendezvouswhereallkindsofoddfolkassemble。
Sandy，youknowConstantinople。Youfixthemeeting—place。’
’I’vealreadythoughtofthat，’hesaid，andgoingtothewriting—
tablehedrewalittleplanonasheetofpaper。’ThatlanerunsdownfromtheKurdishBazaarinGalatatotheferryofRatchik。Half—
waydownontheleft—handsideisacafekeptbyaGreekcalledKuprasso。Behindthecafeisagarden，surroundedbyhighwallswhichwerepartsoftheoldByzantineTheatre。AttheendofthegardenisashantycalledtheGarden—houseofSulimantheRed。Ithasbeeninitstimeadancing—hallandagamblinghellandGodknowswhatelse。It’snotaplaceforrespectablepeople，buttheendsoftheearthconvergethereandnoquestionsareasked。That’sthebestspotIcanthinkofforameeting—place。’
Thekettlewassimmeringbythefire，thenightwasraw，anditseemedthehourforwhisky—punch。ImadeabrewforSandyandmyselfandboiledsomemilkforBlenkiron。
’Whataboutlanguage？’Iasked。’You’reallright，Sandy？’
’IknowGermanfairlywell;andIcanpassanywhereasaTurk。
Thefirstwilldoforeavesdroppingandthesecondforordinarybusiness。’
’Andyou？’IaskedBlenkiron。
’IwasleftoutatPentecost，’hesaid。’IregrettoconfessIhavenogiftoftongues。ButthepartIhavechosenformyselfdon’trequirethepolyglot。NeverforgetI’mplainJohnS。Blenkiron，acitizenofthegreatAmericanRepublic。’
’Youhaven’ttoldusyourownline，Dick，’Sandysaid。
’IamgoingtotheBosporusthroughGermany，and，notbeinganeutral，itwon’tbeaverycushionedjourney。’
Sandylookedgrave。
’Thatsoundsprettydesperate。IsyourGermangoodenough？’
’Prettyfair;quitegoodenoughtopassasanative。ButofficiallyI
shallnotunderstandoneword。IshallbeaBoerfromWesternCapeColony:oneofMaritz’soldlotwhoafterabitoftroublehasgotthroughAngolaandreachedEurope。IshalltalkDutchandnothingelse。And，myhat！IshallbeprettybitterabouttheBritish。
There’sapowerfullotofgoodswear—wordsinthetaal。IshallknowallaboutAfrica，andbepantingtogetanotherwhackatthe_verdommt_rooinek。WithlucktheymaysendmetotheUgandashowortoEgypt，andIshalltakecaretogobyConstantinople。IfI’mtodealwiththeMohammedannativesthey’reboundtoshowmewhathandtheyhold。Atleast，that’sthewayIlookatit。’
Wefilledourglasses—twoofpunchandoneofmilk—anddranktoournextmerrymeeting。ThenSandybegantolaugh，andIjoinedin。Thesenseofhopelessfollyagaindescendedonme。ThebestplanswecouldmakewerelikeafewbucketsofwatertoeasethedroughtoftheSaharaortheoldladywhowouldhavestoppedtheAtlanticwithabroom。IthoughtwithsympathyoflittleSaintTeresa。
CHAPTERTHREE
PeterPienaarOurvariousdepartureswereunassuming，allbuttheAmerican’s。
Sandyspentabusyfortnightinhissubterraneanfashion，nowintheBritishMuseum，nowrunningaboutthecountrytoseeoldexploringcompanions，nowattheWarOffice，nowattheForeignOffice，butmostlyinmyflat，sunkinanarm—chairandmeditating。
HeleftfinallyonDecember1stasaKing’sMessengerforCairo。
OncethereIknewtheKing’sMessengerwoulddisappear，andsomequeerOrientalruffiantakehisplace。Itwouldhavebeenimpertinenceinmetoinquireintohisplans。Hewastherealprofessional，andIwasonlythedabbler。
Blenkironwasadifferentmatter。SirWaltertoldmetolookoutforsqualls，andthetwinkleinhiseyegavemeanotionofwhatwascoming。Thefirstthingthesportsmandidwastowritealettertothepaperssignedwithhisname。TherehadbeenadebateintheHouseofCommonsonforeignpolicy，andthespeechofsomeidiottheregavehimhiscue。HedeclaredthathehadbeenheartandsoulwiththeBritishatthestart，butthathewasreluctantlycompelledtochangehisviews。HesaidourblockadeofGermanyhadbrokenallthelawsofGodandhumanity，andhereckonedthatBritainwasnowtheworstexponentofPrussianismgoing。Thatlettermadeafineracket，andthepaperthatprintedithadarowwiththeCensor。
ButthatwasonlythebeginningofMrBlenkiron’scampaign。HegotmixedupwithsomemountebankscalledtheLeagueofDemocratsagainstAggression，gentlemenwhothoughtthatGermanywasallrightifwecouldonlykeepfromhurtingherfeelings。Headdressedameetingundertheirauspices，whichwasbrokenupbythecrowd，butnotbeforeJohnS。hadgotoffhischestalotofamazingstuff。Iwasn’tthere，butamanwhowastoldmethatheneverheardsuchclottednonsense。HesaidthatGermanywasrightinwantingthefreedomoftheseas，andthatAmericawouldbackherup，andthattheBritishNavywasabiggermenacetothepeaceoftheworldthantheKaiser’sarmy。Headmittedthathehadoncethoughtdifferently，buthewasanhonestmanandnotafraidtofacefacts。Theorationclosedsuddenly，whenhegotabrussels—
sproutintheeye，atwhichmyfriendsaidhesworeinaveryunpacifiststyle。
AfterthathewroteotherletterstothePress，sayingthattherewasnomorelibertyofspeechinEngland，andalotofscallywagsbackedhimup。SomeAmericanswantedtotarandfeatherhim，andhegotkickedoutoftheSavoy。Therewasanagitationtogethimdeported，andquestionswereaskedinParliament，andtheUnder—SecretaryforForeignAffairssaidhisdepartmenthadthematterinhand。IwasbeginningtothinkthatBlenkironwascarryinghistomfoolerytoofar，soIwenttoseeSirWalter，buthetoldmetokeepmymindeasy。
’Ourfriend’smottois\"Thorough\"，’hesaid，’andheknowsverywellwhatheisabout。Wehaveofficiallyrequestedhimtoleave，andhesailsfromNewcastleonMonday。Hewillbeshadowedwhereverhegoes，andwehopetoprovokemoreoutbreaks。Heisaverycapablefellow。’
ThelastIsawofhimwasontheSaturdayafternoonwhenImethiminStjames’sStreetandofferedtoshakehands。Hetoldmethatmyuniformwasapollution，andmadeaspeechtoasmallcrowdaboutit。Theyhissedhimandhehadtogetintoataxi。Ashedepartedtherewasjustthesuspicionofawinkinhislefteye。
OnMondayIreadthathehadgoneoff，andthepapersobservedthatourshoreswerewellquitofhim。
IsailedonDecember3rdfromLiverpoolinaboatboundfortheArgentinethatwasduetoputinatLisbon。IhadofcoursetogetaForeignOfficepassporttoleaveEngland，butafterthatmyconnectionwiththeGovernmentceased。Allthedetailsofmyjourneywerecarefullythoughtout。Lisbonwouldbeagoodjumping—offplace，foritwastherendezvousofscallywagsfrommostpartsofAfrica。MykitwasanoldGladstonebag，andmyclothesweretherelicsofmySouthAfricanwardrobe。IletmybeardgrowforsomedaysbeforeIsailed，and，sinceitgrowsfast，IwentonboardwiththekindofhairychinyouwillseeontheyoungBoer。MynamewasnowBrandt，CornelisBrandt—atleastsomypassportsaid，andpassportsneverlie。
Therewerejusttwootherpassengersonthatbeastlyboat，andtheyneverappearedtillwewereoutoftheBay。Iwasprettybadmyself，butmanagedtomoveaboutallthetime，forthefrowstinmycabinwouldhavesickenedahippo。TheoldtubtooktwodaysandanighttowaddlefromUshanttoFinisterre。Thentheweatherchangedandwecameoutofsnow—squallsintosomethingverylikesummer。ThehillsofPortugalwereallblueandyellowliketheKalahari，andbeforewemadetheTagusIwasbeginningtoforgetIhadeverleftRhodesia。TherewasaDutchmanamongthesailorswithwhomIusedtopatterthetaal，andbutfor’Goodmorning’
and’Goodevening’inbrokenEnglishtothecaptain，thatwasaboutallthetalkingIdidonthecruise。
WedroppedanchoroffthequaysofLisbononashinybluemorning，prettynearwarmenoughtowearflannels。Ihadnowgottobeverywary。Ididnotleavetheshipwiththeshore—goingboat，butmadealeisurelybreakfast。ThenIstrolledondeck，andthere，justcastinganchorinthemiddleofthestream，wasanothershipwithablueandwhitefunnelIknewsowell。IcalculatedthatamonthbeforeshehadbeensmellingthemangroveswampsofAngola。Nothingcouldbetteranswermypurpose。Iproposedtoboardher，pretendingIwaslookingforafriend，andcomeonshorefromher，sothatanyoneinLisbonwhochosetobecuriouswouldthinkIhadlandedstraightfromPortugueseAfrica。