第4章
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  GladandPollyoccupiedthemselveswiththeirownfood。

  AntonyDartgazedatthefire。

  Herehesatwarminghimselfinaloftwithabeggar,athief,andahelplessthingofthestreet。Hehadcomeouttobuyapistol——itsweightstillhunginhisovercoatpocket——

  andhehadreachedthisplaceofwhoseexistencehehadanhouragonotdreamed。Eachstepwhichhadledhimhadseemedasimple,inevitablething,forwhichhehadapparentlybeenresponsible,butwhichheknew——yes,somehowheKNEW——hehadofhisownvolitionneitherplannednormeant。Yetherehesat——apartofthelivesofthebeggar,thethief,andthepoorthingofthestreet。Whatdiditmean?

  \"Tellme,\"hesaidtothethief,\"howyoucamehere。\"

  Bythistimetheyoungfellowhadfedhimselfandlookedlesslikeawolf。Itwastobeseennowthathehadblue—grayeyeswhichweredreamyandyoung。

  \"Ihavealwaysbeeninventingthings,\"hesaidalittlehuskily。\"I

  diditwhenIwasachild。Ialwaysseemedtoseetheremightbeawayofdoingathingbetter——gettingmorepower。WhenotherboyswereplayinggamesIwassittingincornerstryingtobuildmodelsoutofwireandstring,andoldboxesandtincans。IoftenthoughtIsawthewaytothings,butIwasalwaystoopoortogetwhatwasneededtoworkthemout。TwiceIheardofmenmakinggreatnamesandfortunesbecausetheyhadbeenabletofinishwhatIcouldhavefinishedifI

  hadhadafewpounds。Itusedtodrivememadandbreakmyheart。\"

  Hishandsclenchedthemselvesandhishuskinessgrewthicker。\"Therewasaman,\"catchinghisbreath,\"wholeapedtothetopoftheladderandsetthewholeworldtalkingandwriting——andIhaddonethethingFIRST——IswearIhad!Itwasallclearinmybrain,andIwashalfmadwithjoyoverit,butIcouldnotaffordtoworkitout。Hecould,sototheendoftimeitwillbeHIS。\"Hestruckhisfistuponhisknee。

  \"Aw!\"ThedeeplittledrawlwasagroanfromGlad。

  \"Igotaplaceinanofficeatlast。

  Iworkedhard,andtheybegantotrustme。I——hadanewidea。Itwasabigone。Ineededmoneytoworkitout。I——Irememberedwhathadhappenedbefore。Ifeltlikeapoorfellowrunningaraceforhislife。IKNEWIcouldpaybacktentimes——ahundredtimes——whatItook。\"

  \"Youtookmoney?\"saidDart。

  Thethief’sheaddropped。

  \"No。IwascaughtwhenIwastakingit。Iwasn’tsharpenough。

  Someonecameinandsawme,andtherewasacrazyrow。Iwassenttoprison。Therewasnomoretryingafterthat。It’snearlytwoyearssince,andI’vebeenhangingaboutthestreetsandfallinglowerandlower。I’verunmilespantingaftercabswithluggageinthemandnothadstrengthtocarryintheboxeswhentheystopped。I’vestarvedandsleptoutofdoors。ButthethingIwantedtoworkoutisinmymindallthetime——likesomemachinetearinground。Itwantstobefinished。Itneverwillbe。

  That’sall。\"

  Gladwasleaningforwardstaringathim,herroughenedhandswiththesmearedcracksonthemclaspedroundherknees。

  \"Things’AStobefinished,\"shesaid。\"Theyfinishtheirselves。\"

  \"Howdoyouknow?\"Dartturnedonher。

  \"Dunno’OWIknow——butIdo。

  Whenthingsbegintheyfinish。It’slikeawheelrollin’downan’ill。\"

  HersharpeyesfixedthemselvesonDart’s。\"Allofus’llfinishsomethin’——

  ’coswe’vebegun。Youwill——Pollywill——’ewill——Iwill。\"

  Shestoppedwithasuddensheepishchuckleanddroppedherforeheadonherknees,giggling。\"DunnowotI’mtalkingabout,\"shesaid,\"butit’strue。\"

  Dartbegantounderstandthatitwas。Andhealsosawthatthisraggedthingwhoknewnothingwhatever,lookedoutontheworldwiththeeyesofaseer,thoughshewasignorantofthemeaningofherownknowledge。Itwasaweirdthing。HeturnedtothegirlPolly。

  \"Tellmehowyoucamehere,\"

  hesaid。

  Hespokeinalowvoiceandgently。Hedidnotwanttofrightenher,buthewantedtoknowhowSHE

  hadbegun。Whensheliftedherchildisheyestohis,herchinbegantoshake。Forsomereasonshedidnotquestionhisrighttoaskwhathewould。Sheansweredhimmeekly,asherfingersfumbledwiththestuffofherdress。

  \"Ilivedinthecountrywithmymother,\"shesaid。\"Wewasveryhappytogether。Inthespringtherewasprimrosesand——andlambs。I

  ——can’tabidetolookatthesheepintheparkthesedays。Theyremindmeso。Therewasagirlinthevillagegotaplaceintownandcamebackandtoldusallaboutit。

  Itmademesilly。Iwantedtocomehere,too。I——Icame——\"

  Sheputherarmoverherfaceandbegantosob。

  \"Shecan’ttellyou,\"saidGlad。

  \"Therewasaswellinthe’ousemadelovetoher。Sheusedtocarryupcoalsto’isparloran’’etalkedto’er。’E’adawyewith’im——\"

  Pollybrokeintoasmotheredwail。

  \"Oh,Ididlovehimso——Idid!\"

  shecried。\"I’dhavelethimwalkoverme。I’dhavelethimkillme。\"

  \"’Enearlydidit,\"saidGlad。

  \"’Ewentawaysuddenan’she’snever’eardwordof’imsince。\"

  FromunderPolly’sface—hidingarmcamebrokenwords。

  \"Icouldn’ttellmymother。I

  didnotknowhow。Iwastoofrightenedandashamed。Nowit’stoolate。Ishallneverseemymotheragain,anditseemsasifallthelambsandprimrosesintheworldwasdead。

  Oh,they’redead——they’redead——

  andIwishIwas,too!\"

  Glad’seyeswinkedrapidlyandshegaveahoarselittlecoughtoclearherthroat。Herarmsstillclaspingherknees,shehitchedherselfclosertothegirlandgaveheranudgewithherelbow。

  \"Buckup,Polly,\"shesaid,\"weain’tnoneofusfinishedyet。Lookatusnow——sittin’byourownfirewithbreadandpuddin’insideus——

  an’thinkwotwewasthismornin’。

  Whoknowswotwe’ll’avethistimeto—morrer。\"

  ThenshestoppedandlookedwithawidegrinatAntonyDart。

  \"OwdidIcome’ere?\"shesaid。

  \"Yes,\"heanswered,\"howdidyoucomehere?\"

  \"Idunno,\"shesaid;\"Iwas’erefirstthingIremember。Ilivedwithaoldwomaninanother’ouseinthecourt。Onemornin’whenIwokeupshewasdead。SometimesI’vebeggedan’soldmatches。SometimesI’vetookcareofwomen’schildrenor’elped’emwhenthey’adtolieup。

  I’veseenalot——butIliketoseealot。’OpeI’llseealotmoreaforeI’mdone。I’musedtobein’’ungryan’cold,an’allthat,but——butI

  allersliketoseewhat’scomin’to—

  morrer。There’sallerssomethin’

  elseto—morrer。That’sallaboutME,\"andshechuckledagain。

  Dartpickedupsomefreshsticksandthrewthemonthefire。Therewassomefinecracklingandanewflameleapedup。

  \"Ifyoucoulddowhatyouliked,\"

  hesaid,\"whatwouldyouliketodo?\"

  Herchucklebecameanoutrightlaugh。

  \"IfI’adtenpounds?\"sheasked,evidentlypreparedtoadjustherselfinimaginationtoanyformofun—

  looked—forgoodluck。

  \"Ifyouhadmore?\"

  Histonemadethethieflifthisheadtolookathim。

  \"IfI’adawandliketheoneJemtoldmewasinthepantermine?\"

  \"Yes,\"heanswered。

  Shesatandstaredatthefireafewmoments,andthenbegantospeakinalowluxuriatingvoice。

  \"I’dgetabetterroom,\"shesaid,revelling。\"There’soneinthenext’ouse。I’d’aveafewstickso’

  furnisherinit——abedan’achairortwo。I’dgetsomewarmpetticutsan’ashawlan’a’at——withaostrichfeatherinit。Pollyan’

  me’dlivetogether。We’d’avefirean’grubeveryday。I’dgetdrunkenBet’sbibyputinan’ome。

  I’d’elpthewomenwhenthey’adtolieup。I’d——I’d’elp’IMabit,\"

  withajerkofherelbowtowardthethief。\"If’ewaskeptfedp’r’aps’ecouldworkoutthatthingin’is’ead。

  I’dgoroundthecourtan’’elpthemwith’usbandsthatknocks’emabout。

  I’d——I’dputastoptotheknockin’

  about,\"aqueerfixedlookshowingitselfinhereyes。\"IfI’admoneyIcoulddoit。’Owmuch,\"withsuddenprudence,\"couldabody’ave——withoneo’themwands?\"

  \"Morethanenoughtodoallyouhavespokenof,\"answeredDart。

  \"It’sashimeabodycouldn’t’aveit。AppleBlossomCourt’dbeadifferentthing。It’dbethesimeasMissMontaubynsaysit’sgoin’tobe。\"Shelaughedagain,thistimeasifrememberingsomethingfantastic,butnotdespicable。

  \"WhoisMissMontaubyn?\"

  \"She’sa’oldwomanaslivesnextfloorbelow。Whenshewasyoungshewasprettyan’usedtodanceinthe’alls。DrunkenBetsaysshewasoneo’thewust。Whenshegotolditmade’ermadan’shegotwusser。

  Shewasreadytoteargalseyesout,an’whenshe’dgettookformakin’

  arowshe’dfightlikeatigercat。

  Aboutayearagoshetumbleddownstairswhenshe’d’adtoomuchan’

  shebrokeboth’erlegs。Youremember,Polly?\"

  Pollyhidherfaceinherhands。

  \"Oh,whentheytookherawaytothehospital!\"sheshuddered。\"Oh,whentheyliftedheruptocarryher!\"

  \"IthoughtPolly’d’aveafitwhenshe’eard’erscreamin’an’swearin’。

  My!itwaslangwich!Butitwasthe’orspitledidit。\"

  \"Didwhat?\"

  \"Dunno,\"withanuncertain,evenslightlyawedlaugh。\"Dunnowotitdid——neitherdoesnobodyelse,butsomethin’’appened。Itwasalongofalidyascomeinonedayan’talkedto’erwhenshewaslyin’

  there。Myeye,\"chuckling,\"itwasqueertalk!ButIlikedit。P’rapsitwaslies,butitwascheerfleliesthat’elpsyer。WhatIsesis——ifTHINGSain’tcheerfle,PEOPLE’Sgottobe——tofightitout。Thewomeninthe’ouselarftfittokilltheirselveswhenshefustcome’omelimpin’an’

  talkedto’emaboutwhatthelidytold’er。Butarterabittheylikedto’ear’er——justalongo’thecheerfleness。Saiditwaslikeapantermine。DrunkenBetsaysifshecouldget’old’fitan’believeitsimeasJinnyMontaubyndoesit’dbeascheerin’asdrinkan’lastlonger。\"

  \"Isitakindofreligion?\"Dartasked,havingavaguememoryofrumorsoffantasticnewtheoriesandhalf—bornbeliefswhichhadseemedtohimweirdvisionsfloatingthroughfaggedbrainsweariedbyolddoubtsandargumentsandfailures。Theworldwastired——thewholeearthwassad——centurieshadwroughtonlytotheendofthistwentiethcentury’sdespair。Wasthestrugglewakingevenhere——inthisbackwaterofthehugecity’shumantide?

  hewonderedwithdullinterest。

  \"Isitakindofreligion?\"hesaid。

  \"It’scheerfler。\"Gladthrustouthersharpchinuncertainlyagain。

  \"There’sno’ellfireinit。An’

  thereain’tnoblimelaidonGodamighty。\"(ThewordassheuttereditseemedtohavenoconnectionwhateverwithherusualcolloquialinvocationoftheDeity。)\"WhenadrayrunoverlittleBillyan’crushed’iminterarag,an’’ismotherwasscreamin’an’draggin’’er’airdown,thecurick’eses,`It’sGawd’swill,’

  ’eses——an’’eain’tnobadsortneither,an’’isficewaswhitean’wetwithsweat——`Gawddoneit,’’eses。

  An’me,I’dnussedthechildan’I

  clawedme’airsimeasifIwas’ismotheran’Iscreamedout,`Thendamn’im!’An’thecurick’edroppedsittin’downonthecurb—

  stonean’’id’isficein’is’ands。\"

  Darthidhisownfaceafterthemannerofthewretchedcurate。

  \"Nowonder,\"hegroaned。Hisbloodturnedcold。

  \"But,\"saidGlad,\"MissMontaubyn’slidyshesaysGodamightyneverdoneitnorneverintendedit,an’ifwekep’sayin’an’believin’’e’sclosetousan’notmillyunso’milesaway,we’dbetookcareofwhilstwewasalivean’not’avetowaittillwewasdead。\"

  Shegotuponherfeetandthrewupherarmswithasuddenjerkandinvoluntarygesture。

  \"I’malive!I’malive!\"shecriedout,\"I’vegotterbetookcareofNOW!That’swhyIlikewotshetellsaboutit。Sodoesthewomen。

  Weain’tnomorereasonterbesureofwotthecuricksaysthanterbesureo’this。DunnoasI’vegotterchooseeitherway,butifI’ad,I’dchoosethecheerflest。\"

  Darthadsatstaringather——sohadPolly——sohadthethief。Dartrubbedhisforehead。

  \"Idonotunderstand,\"hesaid。

  \"’Tain’tunderstanding!It’sbelievin’。Blessyer,SHEdoesn’tunderstand。Isay,let’sgoan’talkto’erabit。Shedon’tmindnothin’,an’

  she’llletusin。WecanleavePollyan’’im’ere。Theycanmakesomemoreteaan’drinkit。\"

  Itendedintheirgoingoutoftheroomtogetheragainandstumblingoncemoredownthestairway’scrookedness。AtthebottomofthefirstshortflighttheystoppedinthedarknessandGladknockedatadoorwithasummonsmanifestlyexpectantofcheerfulwelcome。Sheusedtheformulashehadusedbefore。

  \"’Son’yme,MissMontaubyn,\"

  shecriedout。\"’Son’yGlad。\"

  Thedooropenedinwidewelcome,andconfrontingthemasshehelditshandlestoodasmalloldwomanwithanastonishingface。Itwasastonishingbecausewhileitwaswitheredandwrinkledwithmarksofpastyearswhichhadoncestampedtheirrecklessunsavorinessuponitseveryline,somestrangeredeemingthinghadhappenedtoitanditsexpressionwasthatofacreaturetowhomtheopeningofadoorcouldonlymeantheentrance——thetumblinginasitwere——ofhopesrealized。

  Itssurfacewassweptcleanofeventhevaguestanticipationofanythingnottobedesired。Smilingasitdidthroughtheblackdoorwayintotheunrelievedshadowofthepassage,itstruckAntonyDartatoncethatitactuallyimpliedthis——

  andthatinthisplace——andindeedinanyplace——nothingcouldhavebeenmoreastonishing。Whatcould,indeed?

  \"Well,well,\"shesaid,\"comein,Glad,blessyer。\"

  \"I’vebroughtagentto’earyertalkabit,\"Gladexplainedinformally。

  Thesmalloldwomanraisedhertwinklingoldfacetolookathim。

  \"Ah!\"shesaid,asifsummingupwhatwasbeforeher。\"’Ethinksit’sworsethanitis,doesn’t’e,now?

  Comein,sir,do。\"

  ThistimeitstruckDartthatherlookseemedactuallytoanticipatetheevolvingofsomewonderfulanddesirablethingfromhimself。Asifevenhisgloomcarriedwithittreasureasyetundisplayed。Assheknewnothingofthetensovereigns,hewonderedwhat,inGod’sname,shesaw。

  Thepovertyofthelittlesquareroomhadanoddcheerinit。MuchscrubbinghadremovedfromittheobjectionsmanifestinGlad’sroomabove。Therewasasmallredfireinthegrate,astripofold,butgaycarpetbeforeit,twochairsandatablewerecoveredwithaharlequinpatchworkmadeofbrightoddsandendsofallsizesandshapes。Thefoginallitsmurkyvolumecouldnotquiteobscurethebrightnessoftheoftenrubbedwindowanditsharlequincurtaindrawnacrossuponastring。

  \"Blessyer,\"saidMissMontaubyn,\"sitdown。\"

  Dartsatandthankedher。GladdroppeduponthefloorandgirdledherkneescomfortablywhileMissMontaubyntookthesecondchair,whichwasclosetothetable,andsnuffedthecandlewhichstoodnearabasketofcoloredscrapssuchas,withoutdoubt,hadmadetheharlequincurtain。

  \"Yerwon’tmindmegoin’onwithmebito’work?\"shechirped。

  \"Tell’imwotitis,\"Gladsuggested。

  \"Theycomefromadressmakerasisinasmallway,\"designatingthescrapsbyagesture。\"Icleanupfor’eran’

  sheletsme’ave’em。Imake’emupintoanythinkIcan——pin—cushionsan’

  bagsan’curtingsan’balls。Nobody’dthinkwottheyruntosometimes。

  Nowan’thenIsellsomeof’em。

  WotIcan’tsellIgiveaway。\"

  \"DrunkenBet’sbibyplayswith’erballallday,\"saidGlad。

  \"Ah!\"saidMissMontaubyn,drawingoutalongneedlefulofthread,\"Bet,SHEthinksitworsethanitis。\"

  \"Coulditbeworse?\"askedDart。

  \"Couldanythingbeworsethaneverythingis?\"

  \"Lots,\"suggestedGlad;\"might’avebrokeyourback,might’aveafever,mightbeinjailforknifin’

  someone。’Ewantsto’earyoutalk,MissMontaubyn;tell’imallaboutyerself。\"

  \"Me!\"herexpectanteyesonhim。

  \"’Ewouldn’twantto’earit。I

  shouldn’twantto’earitmyself。

  Bein’onthe’allswhenyeraprettygirlain’tan’elpfullife;an’bein’

  tookupan’droppeddowntillyerdroppedinthegutteran’don’tknow’owtogetout——it’swotyermustn’tletyermindgobackto。\"

  \"That’swotthelidysaid,\"calledoutGlad。\"Tell’imaboutthelidy。

  Shedoesn’tevenknowwhoshewas。\"

  TheremarkwastossedtoDart。

  \"Nevereven’eard’ername,\"withunabatedcheersaidMissMontaubyn。

  \"Shecomean’shewentan’metoolowtodoanythingbutliean’lookat’erandlisten。An’`Whichofustwoismad?’Isestomyself。ButI

  laythinkin’andthinkin’——an’itwassocheerfleIcouldn’tgetitoutofme’ead——nornever’avesince。\"

  \"Whatdidshesay?\"

  \"Icouldn’trememberthewords——itwasthewaytheytookawaythingsabody’safraidof。Itwasaboutthingsnever’avin’reallybeenlikewotwethoughttheywas。

  Godamightynow,thereain’tabitof’armin’im。\"

  \"What?\"hesaidwithastart。

  \"’Eneverdonetheaccidentsandthetrouble。Itwasusaswentoutofthelightintothedark。Ifwe’dkep’inthelightallthetime,an’

  thoughtaboutit,an’talkedaboutit,we’dnever’adnothin’else。’Tain’tpunishmentneither。’Tain’tnothin’

  butthedark——an’thedarkain’tnothin’butthelightbein’away。

  `Keepinthelight,’sheses,`neverthinkofnothin’else,an’thenyou’llbeginan’seethings。Everybody’sbeenafraid。Thereain’tnoneed。

  YoubelieveTHAT。’\"

  \"Believe?\"saidDartheavily。

  Shenodded。

  \"`Yes,’sesIto’er,`that’swherethetroublecomesin——believin’。’

  Andsheanswersascoolascouldbe:`Yes,itis,’sheses,`we’veallbeenthinkin’we’vebeenbelievin’,an’noneofus’as。Ifwe’adwhat’dtherebetobeafraidof?Ifwebelievedakingwasgivin’usourlivin’an’takin’careofuswho’dbeafraidofnot’avin’enoughtoeat?’\"

  \"Who?\"groanedDart。Hesathanginghisheadandstaringatthefloor。Thiswasanotherphaseofthedream。

  \"`Whereis’E?’Ises。`’Imasbreaksoldwomen’slegsan’crushesbabiesunderwheels——soasthey’llberesigned?’An’allofasuddenshecallsoutquiteloud:`Nowhere,’

  sheses。`An’neverwas。But’Imasstretchedforththe’eavensan’laidthefoundationsoftheearth,’ImasistheLifean’Loveoftheworld,’E’s’ERE!Stretchoutyer’and,’sheses,’an’callout,\"Speak,Lord,thyservant’eareth,\"an’ye’ll’earan’SEE。

  An’neveryoustopsayin’it——letyer’eartbeatitan’yerbreathbreatheit——an’yer’llfindyergoin’aboutlaughin’softtoyerselfan’lovin’

  everythin’asifitwasyerownchildatbreast。An’no’armcancometoyer。Tryitwhenyergo’ome。’\"

  \"Didyou?\"askedDart。

  Gladansweredforherwithatremulous——yesitwasaTREMULOUS——

  giggle,aweirdlymovedlittlesound。

  \"Whenshewakesinthemornin’

  shesesto’erself,`Goodthingsisgoin’tocometo—day——cheerflethings。’Whenthere’saknockatthedoorsheses,`Somethin’friendly’scomin’in。’An’whenDrunkenBet’smakin’arowan’ragin’an’tearin’

  an’threatenin’to’ave’ereyesoutof’erfice,sheses,`Lor,Bet,yerdon’tmeanawordofit——yerafriendtoeverywomaninthe’ouse。’Whenshedon’tknowwhichwaytoturn,shestandsstillan’ses,`Speak,Lord,thyservant’eareth,’an’thenshedoeswotevernextcomesinto’ermind——

  an’shesaysit’sallustherightanswer。

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