第1章
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  Toasmallgirl—child,whomaylivetograspsomewhatofthatwhichforusisyetsight,nottouch。

  Note。

  TheseDreamsareprintedintheorderinwhichtheywerewritten。

  Inthecaseoftwotherewasalapseofsomeyearsbetweenthewritingofthefirstandlastparts;theseareplacedaccordingtothedateofthefirstpart。

  OliveSchreiner。

  Matjesfontein,CapeColony,SouthAfrica。

  November,1890。

  CONTENTS。

  I。TheLostJoy。

  II。TheHunter(From\"TheStoryofofanAfricanFarm\")。

  III。TheGardensofPleasure。

  IV。InaFar—offWorld。

  V。ThreeDreamsinaDesert。

  VI。ADreamofWildBees(Writtenasalettertoafriend)。

  VII。InaRuinedChapel。

  VIII。Life’sGifts。

  IX。TheArtist’sSecret。

  X。\"IThoughtIStood。\"

  XI。TheSunlightLayacrossMyBed。

  I。THELOSTJOY。

  Allday,wherethesunlightplayedonthesea—shore,Lifesat。

  Alldaythesoftwindplayedwithherhair,andtheyoung,youngfacelookedoutacrossthewater。Shewaswaiting——shewaswaiting;butshecouldnottellforwhat。

  Alldaythewavesranupanduponthesand,andranbackagain,andthepinkshellsrolled。Lifesatwaiting;allday,withthesunlightinhereyes,shesatthere,till,grownweary,shelaidherheaduponherkneeandfellasleep,waitingstill。

  Thenakeelgratedonthesand,andthenastepwasontheshore——Lifeawokeandheardit。Ahandwaslaiduponher,andagreatshudderpassedthroughher。Shelookedup,andsawoverherthestrange,wideeyesofLove——andLifenowknewforwhomshehadsattherewaiting。

  AndLovedrewLifeuptohim。

  Andofthatmeetingwasbornathingrareandbeautiful——Joy,First—Joywasitcalled。Thesunlightwhenitshinesuponthemerrywaterisnotsoglad;therosebuds,whentheyturnbacktheirlipsforthesun’sfirstkiss,arenotsoruddy。Itstinypulsesbeatquick。Itwassowarm,sosoft!Itneverspoke,butitlaughedandplayedinthesunshine:andLoveandLiferejoicedexceedingly。Neitherwhisperedittotheother,butdeepinitsownhearteachsaid,\"Itshallbeoursforever。\"

  Thentherecameatime——wasitafterweeks?wasitaftermonths?(LoveandLifedonotmeasuretime)——whenthethingwasnotasithadbeen。

  Stillitplayed;stillitlaughed;stillitstaineditsmouthwithpurpleberries;butsometimesthelittlehandshungweary,andthelittleeyeslookedoutheavilyacrossthewater。

  AndLifeandLovedarednotlookintoeachother’seyes,darednotsay,\"Whatailsourdarling?\"Eachheartwhisperedtoitself,\"Itisnothing,itisnothing,tomorrowitwilllaughoutclear。\"Buttomorrowandtomorrowcame。Theyjourneyedon,andthechildplayedbesidethem,butheavily,moreheavily。

  OnedayLifeandLovelaydowntosleep;andwhentheyawoke,itwasgone:

  only,nearthem,onthegrass,satalittlestranger,withwide—openeyes,verysoftandsad。Neithernoticedit;buttheywalkedapart,weepingbitterly,\"Oh,ourJoy!ourlostJoy!shallweseeyounomoreforever?\"

  Thelittlesoftandsad—eyedstrangerslippedahandintoonehandofeach,anddrewthemcloser,andLifeandLovewalkedonwithitbetweenthem。

  AndwhenLifelookeddowninanguish,shesawhertearsreflectedinitssofteyes。AndwhenLove,madwithpain,criedout,\"Iamweary,Iamweary!Icanjourneynofurther。Thelightisallbehind,thedarkisallbefore,\"alittlerosyfingerpointedwherethesunlightlayuponthehill—

  sides。Alwaysitslargeeyesweresadandthoughtful:alwaysthelittlebravemouthwassmilingquietly。

  WhenonthesharpstonesLifecutherfeet,hewipedtheblooduponhisgarments,andkissedthewoundedfeetwithhislittlelips。WheninthedesertLovelaydownfaint(forLoveitselfgrowsfaint),heranoverthehotsandwithhislittlenakedfeet,andeventhereinthedesertfoundwaterintheholesintherockstomoistenLove’slipswith。Hewasnoburden——heneverweightedthem;heonlyhelpedthemforwardontheirjourney。

  Whentheycametothedarkravinewheretheicicleshangfromtherocks——

  forLoveandLifemustpassthroughstrangedrearplaces——there,wherealliscold,andthesnowliesthick,hetooktheirfreezinghandsandheldthemagainsthisbeatinglittleheart,andwarmedthem——andsoftlyhedrewthemonandon。

  Andwhentheycamebeyond,intothelandofsunshineandflowers,strangelythegreateyeslitup,anddimplesbrokeoutupontheface。Brightlylaughing,itranoverthesoftgrass;gatheredhoneyfromthehollowtree;

  andbroughtitthemonthepalmofitshand;carriedthemwaterintheleavesofthelily,andgatheredflowersandwreathedthemroundtheirheads,softlylaughingallthewhile。HetouchedthemastheirJoyhadtouchedthem,buthisfingersclungmoretenderly。

  Sotheywanderedon,throughthedarklandsandthelight,alwayswiththatlittlebravesmilingonebetweenthem。SometimestheyrememberedthatfirstradiantJoy,andwhisperedtothemselves,\"Oh!couldwebutfindhimalso!\"

  AtlasttheycametowhereReflectionsits;thatstrangeoldwomanwhohasalwaysoneelbowonherknee,andherchininherhand,andwhostealslightoutofthepasttosheditonthefuture。

  AndLifeandLovecriedout,\"Owiseone!tellus:whenfirstwemet,alovelyradiantthingbelongedtous——gladnesswithoutatear,sunshinewithoutashade。Oh!howdidwesinthatwelostit?Whereshallwegothatwemayfindit?\"

  Andshe,thewiseoldwoman,answered,\"Tohaveitback,willyougiveupthatwhichwalksbesideyounow?\"

  AndinagonyLoveandLifecried,\"No!\"

  \"Giveupthis!\"saidLife。\"Whenthethornshavepiercedme,whowillsuckthepoisonout?Whenmyheadthrobs,whowilllayhistinyhandsuponitandstillthebeating?Inthecoldandthedark,whowillwarmmyfreezingheart?\"

  AndLovecriedout,\"Betterletmedie!WithoutJoyIcanlive;withoutthisIcannot。Letmeratherdie,notloseit!\"

  Andthewiseoldwomananswered,\"Ofoolsandblind!Whatyouoncehadisthatwhichyouhavenow!WhenLoveandLifefirstmeet,aradiantthingisborn,withoutashade。Whentheroadsbegintoroughen,whentheshadesbegintodarken,whenthedaysarehard,andthenightscoldandlong——thenitbeginstochange。LoveandLifeWILLnotseeit,WILLnotknowit——tillonedaytheystartupsuddenly,crying,’OGod!OGod!wehavelostit!

  Whereisit?’Theydonotunderstandthattheycouldnotcarrythelaughingthingunchangedintothedesert,andthefrost,andthesnow。

  TheydonotknowthatwhatwalksbesidethemstillistheJoygrownolder。

  Thegrave,sweet,tenderthing——warminthecoldestsnows,braveinthedreariestdeserts——itsnameisSympathy;itisthePerfectLove。\"

  SouthAfrica。

  II。THEHUNTER。

  Incertainvalleystherewasahunter。Daybydayhewenttohuntforwild—fowlinthewoods;anditchancedthatoncehestoodontheshoresofalargelake。Whilehestoodwaitingintherushesforthecomingofthebirds,agreatshadowfellonhim,andinthewaterhesawareflection。

  Helookeduptothesky;butthethingwasgone。Thenaburningdesirecameoverhimtoseeonceagainthatreflectioninthewater,andalldayhewatchedandwaited;butnightcameandithadnotreturned。Thenhewenthomewithhisemptybag,moodyandsilent。Hiscomradescamequestioningabouthimtoknowthereason,butheansweredthemnothing;hesataloneandbrooded。Thenhisfriendcametohim,andtohimhespoke。

  \"Ihaveseentoday,\"hesaid,\"thatwhichIneversawbefore——avastwhitebird,withsilverwingsoutstretched,sailingintheeverlastingblue。Andnowitisasthoughagreatfireburntwithinmybreast。Itwasbutasheen,ashimmer,areflectioninthewater;butnowIdesirenothingmoreonearththantoholdher。\"

  Hisfriendlaughed。

  \"Itwasbutabeamplayingonthewater,ortheshadowofyourownhead。

  Tomorrowyouwillforgether,\"hesaid。

  Buttomorrow,andtomorrow,andtomorrowthehunterwalkedalone。Hesoughtintheforestandinthewoods,bythelakesandamongtherushes,buthecouldnotfindher。Heshotnomorewildfowl;whatweretheytohim?

  \"Whatailshim?\"saidhiscomrades。

  \"Heismad,\"saidone。

  \"No;butheisworse,\"saidanother;\"hewouldseethatwhichnoneofushaveseen,andmakehimselfawonder。\"

  \"Come,letusforswearhiscompany,\"saidall。

  Sothehunterwalkedalone。

  Onenight,ashewanderedintheshade,veryheartsoreandweeping,anoldmanstoodbeforehim,granderandtallerthanthesonsofmen。

  \"Whoareyou?\"askedthehunter。

  \"IamWisdom,\"answeredtheoldman;\"butsomemencallmeKnowledge。AllmylifeIhavegrowninthesevalleys;butnomanseesmetillhehassorrowedmuch。Theeyesmustbewashedwithtearsthataretobeholdme;

  and,accordingasamanhassuffered,Ispeak。\"

  Andthehuntercried:

  \"Oh,youwhohavelivedheresolong,tellme,whatisthatgreatwildbirdIhaveseensailingintheblue?Theywouldhavemebelievesheisadream;theshadowofmyownhead。\"

  Theoldmansmiled。

  \"HernameisTruth。Hewhohasonceseenherneverrestsagain。Tilldeathhedesiresher。\"

  Andthehuntercried:

  \"Oh,tellmewhereImayfindher。\"

  Buttheoldmansaid:

  \"Youhavenotsufferedenough,\"andwent。

  ThenthehuntertookfromhisbreasttheshuttleofImagination,andwoundonitthethreadofhisWishes;andallnighthesatandwoveanet。

  Inthemorninghespreadthegoldennetupontheground,andintoithethrewafewgrainsofcredulity,whichhisfatherhadlefthim,andwhichhekeptinhisbreast—pocket。Theywerelikewhitepuff—balls,andwhenyoutrodonthemabrowndustflewout。Thenhesatbytoseewhatwouldhappen。Thefirstthatcameintothenetwasasnow—whitebird,withdove’seyes,andhesangabeautifulsong——\"Ahuman—God!ahuman—God!ahuman—God!\"itsang。Thesecondthatcamewasblackandmystical,withdark,lovelyeyes,thatlookedintothedepthsofyoursoul,andhesangonlythis——\"Immortality!\"

  Andthehuntertookthembothinhisarms,forhesaid——

  \"TheyaresurelyofthebeautifulfamilyofTruth。\"

  Thencameanother,greenandgold,whosanginashrillvoice,likeonecryinginthemarketplace,——\"RewardafterDeath!RewardafterDeath!\"

  Andhesaid——

  \"Youarenotsofair;butyouarefairtoo,\"andhetookit。

  Andotherscame,brightlycoloured,singingpleasantsongs,tillallthegrainswerefinished。Andthehuntergatheredallhisbirdstogether,andbuiltastrongironcagecalledanewcreed,andputallhisbirdsinit。

  Thenthepeoplecameaboutdancingandsinging。

  \"Oh,happyhunter!\"theycried。\"Oh,wonderfulman!Oh,delightfulbirds!

  Oh,lovelysongs!\"

  Nooneaskedwherethebirdshadcomefrom,norhowtheyhadbeencaught;

  buttheydancedandsangbeforethem。Andthehuntertoowasglad,forhesaid:

  \"SurelyTruthisamongthem。Intimeshewillmoultherfeathers,andI

  shallseehersnow—whiteform。\"

  Butthetimepassed,andthepeoplesanganddanced;butthehunter’sheartgrewheavy。Hecreptalone,asofold,toweep;theterribledesirehadawakenedagaininhisbreast。Oneday,ashesataloneweeping,itchancedthatWisdommethim。Hetoldtheoldmanwhathehaddone。

  AndWisdomsmiledsadly。

  \"Manymen,\"hesaid,\"havespreadthatnetforTruth;buttheyhaveneverfoundher。Onthegrainsofcredulityshewillnotfeed;inthenetofwishesherfeetcannotbeheld;intheairofthesevalleysshewillnotbreathe。ThebirdsyouhavecaughtareofthebroodofLies。Lovelyandbeautiful,butstilllies;Truthknowsthemnot。\"

  Andthehuntercriedoutinbitterness——

  \"AndmustIthensitstill,tobedevouredofthisgreatburning?\"

  Andtheoldmansaid,\"Listen,andinthatyouhavesufferedmuchandweptmuch,IwilltellyouwhatIknow。HewhosetsouttosearchforTruthmustleavethesevalleysofsuperstitionforever,takingwithhimnotoneshredthathasbelongedtothem。AlonehemustwanderdownintotheLandofAbsoluteNegationandDenial;hemustabidethere;hemustresisttemptation;whenthelightbreakshemustariseandfollowitintothecountryofdrysunshine。Themountainsofsternrealitywillrisebeforehim;hemustclimbthem;beyondthemliesTruth。\"

  \"Andhewillholdherfast!hewillholdherinhishands!\"thehuntercried。

  Wisdomshookhishead。

  \"Hewillneverseeher,neverholdher。Thetimeisnotyet。\"

  \"Thenthereisnohope?\"criedthehunter。

  \"Thereisthis,\"saidWisdom:\"Somemenhaveclimbedonthosemountains;

  circleabovecircleofbarerocktheyhavescaled;and,wanderingthere,inthosehighregions,somehavechancedtopickuponthegroundonewhitesilverfeather,droppedfromthewingofTruth。Anditshallcometopass,\"saidtheoldman,raisinghimselfpropheticallyandpointingwithhisfingertothesky,\"itshallcometopass,thatwhenenoughofthosesilverfeathersshallhavebeengatheredbythehandsofmen,andshallhavebeenwovenintoacord,andthecordintoanet,thatinthatnetTruthmaybecaptured。NothingbutTruthcanholdTruth。\"

  Thehunterarose。\"Iwillgo,\"hesaid。

  Butwisdomdetainedhim。

  \"Markyouwell——wholeavesthesevalleysneverreturnstothem。Thoughheshouldweeptearsofbloodsevendaysandnightsupontheconfines,hecanneverputhisfootacrossthem。Left——theyareleftforever。Upontheroadwhichyouwouldtravelthereisnorewardoffered。Whogoes,goesfreely——forthegreatlovethatisinhim。Theworkishisreward。\"

  \"Igo\"saidthehunter;\"butuponthemountains,tellme,whichpathshallItake?\"

  \"IamthechildofThe—Accumulated—Knowledge—of—Ages,\"saidtheman;\"Icanwalkonlywheremanymenhavetrodden。Onthesemountainsfewfeethavepassed;eachmanstrikesoutapathforhimself。Hegoesathisownperil:

  myvoicehehearsnomore。Imayfollowafterhim,butcannotgobeforehim。\"

  ThenKnowledgevanished。

  Andthehunterturned。Hewenttohiscage,andwithhishandsbrokedownthebars,andthejaggedirontorehisflesh。Itissometimeseasiertobuildthantobreak。

  Onebyonehetookhisplumedbirdsandletthemfly。Butwhenhecametohisdark—plumedbirdheheldit,andlookedintoitsbeautifuleyes,andthebirduttereditslow,deepcry——\"Immortality!\"

  Andhesaidquickly:\"Icannotpartwithit。Itisnotheavy;iteatsnofood。Iwillhideitinmybreast;Iwilltakeitwithme。\"Andheburieditthereandcovereditoverwithhiscloak。

  Butthethinghehadhiddengrewheavier,heavier,heavier——tillitlayonhisbreastlikelead。Hecouldnotmovewithit。Hecouldnotleavethosevalleyswithit。Thenagainhetookitoutandlookedatit。

  \"Oh,mybeautiful!myheart’sown!\"hecried,\"mayInotkeepyou?\"

  Heopenedhishandssadly。

  \"Go!\"hesaid。\"ItmayhappenthatinTruth’ssongonenoteislikeyours;

  butIshallneverhearit。\"

  Sadlyheopenedhishand,andthebirdflewfromhimforever。

  ThenfromtheshuttleofImaginationhetookthethreadofhiswishes,andthrewitontheground;andtheemptyshuttleheputintohisbreast,forthethreadwasmadeinthosevalleys,buttheshuttlecamefromanunknowncountry。Heturnedtogo,butnowthepeoplecameabouthim,howling。

  \"Fool,hound,dementedlunatic!\"theycried。\"Howdaredyoubreakyourcageandletthebirdsfly?’

  Thehunterspoke;buttheywouldnothearhim。

  \"Truth!whoisshe?Canyoueather?canyoudrinkher?Whohaseverseenher?Yourbirdswerereal:allcouldhearthemsing!Oh,fool!vilereptile!atheist!\"theycried,\"youpollutetheair。\"

  \"Come,letustakeupstonesandstonehim,\"criedsome。

  \"Whataffairisitofours?\"saidothers。\"Lettheidiotgo,\"andwentaway。Buttherestgatheredupstonesandmudandthrewathim。Atlast,whenhewasbruisedandcut,thehuntercreptawayintothewoods。Anditwaseveningabouthim。

  Hewanderedonandon,andtheshadegrewdeeper。Hewasonthebordersnowofthelandwhereitisalwaysnight。Thenhesteppedintoit,andtherewasnolightthere。Withhishandshegroped;buteachbranchashetoucheditbrokeoff,andtheearthwascoveredwithcinders。Ateverystephisfootsankin,andafinecloudofimpalpableashesflewupintohisface;anditwasdark。Sohesatdownuponastoneandburiedhisfaceinhishands,towaitintheLandofNegationandDenialtillthelightcame。

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