第5章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Eugene Pickering",免费读到尾

  EvenifthiscleverladyenjoyedpoorPickering’sbedazzlement,itwasconceivablethat,takingvanityandcharitytogether,sheshouldcaremoreforhiswelfarethanforherownentertainment;andheroffertoabidebytheresultofhazardouscomparisonwithotherwomenwasafinerstrokethanherreputationhadledmetoexpect。Shereceivedmeinashabbylittlesitting—roomlitteredwithuncutbooksandnewspapers,manyofwhichIsawataglancewereFrench。Onesideofitwasoccupiedbyanopenpiano,surmountedbyajarfullofwhiteroses。Theyperfumedtheair;theyseemedtometoexhalethepurearomaofPickering’sdevotion。Buriedinanarm—chair,theobjectofthisdevotionwasreadingtheRevuedesDeuxMondes。ThepurposeofmyvisitwasnottoadmireMadameBlumenthalonmyownaccount,buttoascertainhowfarImightsafelyleavehertoworkherwilluponmyfriend。Shehadimpugnedmysinceritytheeveningoftheopera,andIwascarefulonthisoccasiontoabstainfromcompliments,andnottoplaceheronherguardagainstmypenetration。Itisneedlesstonarrateourinterviewindetail;

  indeed,totelltheperfecttruth,Iwaspunishedformyrashattempttosurpriseherbyatemporaryeclipseofmyownperspicacity。Shesattheresoquestioning,soperceptive,sogenial,sogenerous,andsoprettywithal,thatIwasquitereadyattheendofhalfanhourtosubscribetothemostcomprehensiveofPickering’srhapsodies。

  Shewascertainlyawonderfulwoman。Ihaveneverlikedtolinger,inmemory,onthathalf—hour。Theresultofitwastoprovethatthereweremanymorethingsinthecompositionofawomanwho,asNiedermeyersaid,hadlodgedherimaginationintheplaceofherheartthanweredreamtofinmyphilosophy。Yet,asIsattherestrokingmyhatandbalancingtheaccountbetweennatureandartinmyaffablehostess,Ifeltlikeaverycompetentphilosopher。Shehadsaidshewishedmetotellhereverythingaboutourfriend,andshequestionedmeastohisfamily,hisfortune,hisantecedents,andhischaracter。Allthiswasnaturalinawomanwhohadreceivedapassionatedeclarationoflove,anditwasexpressedwithanairofcharmedsolicitude,aradiantconfidencethattherewasreallynomistakeabouthisbeingamostdistinguishedyoungman,andthatifI

  chosetobeexplicit,Imightdeepenherconvictiontodisinterestedecstasy,whichmighthavealmostprovokedmetoinventagoodopinion,ifIhadnothadonereadymade。ItoldherthatshereallyknewPickeringbetterthanIdid,andthatuntilwemetatHomburgI

  hadnotseenhimsincehewasaboy。

  \"Buthetalkstoyoufreely,\"sheanswered;\"Iknowyouarehisconfidant。Hehastoldmecertainlyagreatmanythings,butI

  alwaysfeelasifhewerekeepingsomethingback;asifhewereholdingsomethingbehindhim,andshowingmeonlyonehandatonce。

  Heseemsoftentobehoveringontheedgeofasecret。Ihavehadseveralfriendshipsinmylife——thankHeaven!butIhavehadnonemoredeartomethanthisone。YetinthemidstofitIhavethepainfulsenseofmyfriendbeinghalfafraidofme;ofhisthinkingmeterrible,strange,perhapsatrifleoutofmywits。Poorme!IfheonlyknewwhataplaingoodsoulIam,andhowIonlywanttoknowhimandbefriendhim!\"

  Thesewordswerefullofaplaintivemagnanimitywhichmademistrustseemcruel。HowmuchbetterImightplayprovidenceoverPickering’sexperimentswithlifeifIcouldengagethefineinstinctsofthischarmingwomanontheprovidentialside!Pickering’ssecretwas,ofcourse,hisengagementtoMissVernor;itwasnaturalenoughthatheshouldhavebeenunabletobringhimselftotalkofittoMadameBlumenthal。Thesimplesweetnessofthisyounggirl’sfacehadnotfadedfrommymemory;IcouldnotridmyselfofthesuspicionthatingoingfurtherPickeringmightfaremuchworse。MadameBlumenthal’sprofessionsseemedavirtualpromisetoagreewithme,and,aftersomehesitation,Isaidthatmyfriendhad,infact,asubstantialsecret,andthatperhapsImightdohimagoodturnbyputtingherinpossessionofit。InasfewwordsaspossibleItoldherthatPickeringstoodpledgedbyfilialpietytomarryayoungladyatSmyrna。Shelistenedintentlytomystory;whenIhadfinishedittherewasafaintflushofexcitementineachofhercheeks。Shebrokeoutintoadozenexclamationsofadmirationandcompassion。

  \"Whatawonderfultale——whataromanticsituation!NowonderpoorMr。Pickeringseemedrestlessandunsatisfied;nowonderhewishedtoputoffthedayofsubmission。AndthepoorlittlegirlatSmyrna,waitingtherefortheyoungWesternprinceliketheheroineofanEasterntale!Shewouldgivetheworldtoseeherphotograph;didI

  thinkMr。Pickeringwouldshowittoher?Butneverfear;shewouldasknothingindiscreet!Yes,itwasamarvellousstory,andifshehadinventeditherself,peoplewouldhavesaiditwasabsurdlyimprobable。\"Sheleftherseatandtookseveralturnsabouttheroom,smilingtoherself,andutteringlittleGermancriesofwonderment。Suddenlyshestoppedbeforethepianoandbrokeintoalittlelaugh;thenextmomentsheburiedherfaceinthegreatbouquetofroses。ItwastimeIshouldgo,butIwasindisposedtoleaveherwithoutobtainingsomedefiniteassurancethat,asfaraspitywasconcerned,shepitiedtheyounggirlatSmyrnamorethantheyoungmanatHomburg。

  \"OfcourseyouknowwhatIwishedintellingyouthis,\"Isaid,rising。\"Sheisevidentlyacharmingcreature,andthebestthinghecandoistomarryher。Iwishedtointerestyouinthatviewofit。\"

  Shehadtakenoneoftherosesfromthevaseandwasarrangingitinthefrontofherdress。Suddenly,lookingup,\"Leaveittome,leaveittome!\"shecried。\"Iaminterested!\"Andwithherlittleblue—

  gemmedhandshetappedherforehead。\"Iamdeeplyinterested!\"

  AndwiththisIhadtocontentmyself。ButmorethanoncethenextdayIrepentedofmyzeal,andwonderedwhetheraprovidencewithawhiteroseinherbosommightnotturnoutatrifletoohuman。Intheevening,attheKursaal,IlookedforPickering,buthewasnotvisible,andIreflectedthatmyrevelationhadnotasyet,atanyrate,seemedtoMadameBlumenthalareasonforprescribingacooling—

  termtohispassion。Verylate,asIwasturningaway,Isawhimarrive——withnosmallsatisfaction,forIhaddeterminedtolethimknowimmediatelyinwhatwayIhadattemptedtoservehim。Buthestraightwaypassedhisarmthroughmyownandledmeofftowardsthegardens。Isawthathewastooexcitedtoallowmetospeakfirst。

  \"Ihaveburntmyships!\"hecried,whenwewereoutofearshotofthecrowd。\"Ihavetoldhereverything。Ihaveinsistedthatit’ssimpletortureformetowaitwiththisidleviewoflovingherless。

  It’swellenoughforhertoaskit,butIfeelstrongenoughnowtooverrideherreluctance。Ihavecastoffthemillstonefromroundmyneck。Icarefornothing,Iknownothing,butthatIloveherwitheverypulseofmybeing——andthateverythingelsehasbeenahideousdream,fromwhichshemaywakemeintoblissfulmorningwithasingleword!\"

  Iheldhimoffatarm’s—lengthandlookedathimgravely。\"Youhavetoldher,youmean,ofyourengagementtoMissVernor?\"

  \"Thewholestory!Ihavegivenitup——Ihavethrownittothewinds。

  Ihavebrokenutterlywiththepast。Itmayriseinitsgraveandgivemeitscurse,butitcan’tfrightenmenow。Ihavearighttobehappy,Ihavearighttobefree,Ihavearightnottoburymyselfalive。Itwasnot_I_whopromised——Iwasnotbornthen。I

  myself,mysoul,mymind,myoption——allthisisbutamonthold!

  Ah,\"hewenton,\"ifyouknewthedifferenceitmakes——thishavingchosenandbrokenandspoken!IamtwicethemanIwasyesterday!

  YesterdayIwasafraidofher;therewasakindofmockingmysteryofknowledgeandclevernessabouther,whichoppressedmeinthemidstofmylove。ButnowIamafraidofnothingbutofbeingtoohappy!\"

  Istoodsilent,tolethimspendhiseloquence。Buthepausedamoment,andtookoffhishatandfannedhimself。\"Letmeperfectlyunderstand,\"Isaidatlast。\"YouhaveaskedMadameBlumenthaltobeyourwife?\"

  \"Thewifeofmyintelligentchoice!\"

  \"Anddoessheconsent?\"

  \"Sheasksthreedaystodecide。\"

  \"Callitfour!Shehasknownyoursecretsincethismorning。IamboundtoletyouknowItoldher。\"

  \"Somuchthebetter!\"criedPickering,withoutapparentresentmentorsurprise。\"It’snotabrilliantofferforsuchawoman,andinspiteofwhatIhaveatstake,Ifeelthatitwouldbebrutaltopressher。\"

  \"Whatdoesshesaytoyourbreakingyourpromise?\"Iaskedinamoment。

  Pickeringwastoomuchinloveforfalseshame。\"Shetellsmethatshelovesmetoomuchtofindcouragetocondemnme。SheagreeswithmethatIhavearighttobehappy。Iasknoexemptionfromthecommonlaw。WhatIclaimissimplyfreedomtotrytobe!\"

  OfcourseIwaspuzzled;itwasnotinthatfashionthatIhadexpectedMadameBlumenthaltomakeuseofmyinformation。Butthematternowwasquiteoutofmyhands,andallIcoulddowastobidmycompanionnotworkhimselfintoafeverovereitherfortune。

  ThenextdayIhadavisitfromNiedermeyer,onwhom,afterourtalkattheopera,Ihadleftacard。Wegossipedawhile,andatlasthesaidsuddenly,\"Bytheway,IhaveasequeltothehistoryofClorinda。ThemajorisatHomburg!\"

  \"Indeed!\"saidI。\"Sincewhen?\"

  \"Thesethreedays。\"

  \"Andwhatishedoing?\"

  \"Heseems,\"saidNiedermeyer,withalaugh,\"tobechieflyoccupiedinsendingflowerstoMadameBlumenthal。Thatis,Iwentwithhimthemorningofhisarrivaltochooseanosegay,andnothingwouldsuithimbutasmallhaystackofwhiteroses。Ihopeitwasreceived。\"

  \"Icanassureyouitwas,\"Icried。\"Isawtheladyfairlynestlingherheadinit。ButIadvisethemajornottobuilduponthat。Hehasarival。\"

  \"Doyoumeanthesoftyoungmanoftheothernight?\"

  \"Pickeringissoft,ifyouwill,buthissoftnessseemstohaveservedhim。Hehasofferedhereverything,andshehasnotyetrefusedit。\"Ihadhandedmyvisitoracigar,andhewaspuffingitinsilence。AtlastheabruptlyaskedifIhadbeenintroducedtoMadameBlumenthal,and,onmyaffirmative,inquiredwhatIthoughtofher。\"Iwillnottellyou,\"Isaid,\"oryou’llcallMEsoft。\"

  Heknockedawayhisashes,eyeingmeaskance。\"Ihavenoticedyourfriendabout,\"hesaid,\"andevenifyouhadnottoldme,Ishouldhaveknownhewasinlove。Afterhehaslefthisadored,hisfacewearsfortherestofthedaytheexpressionwithwhichhehasrisenfromherfeet,andmorethanonceIhavefeltliketouchinghiselbow,asyouwouldthatofamanwhohasinadvertentlycomeintoadrawing—roominhisovershoes。Yousayhehasofferedourfriendeverything;but,mydearfellow,hehasnoteverythingtoofferher。

  Heevidentlyisasamiableasthemorning,buttheladyhasnotastefordaylight。\"

  \"IassureyouPickeringisaveryinterestingfellow,\"Isaid。

  \"Ah,thereitis!Hashenotsomestoryorother?Isn’theanorphan,oranaturalchild,orconsumptive,orcontingentheirtogreatestates?Shewillreadhislittlestorytotheend,andclosethebookverytenderlyandsmoothdownthecover;andthen,whenheleastexpectsit,shewilltossitintothedustylimboofherotherromances。Shewilllethimdangle,butshewilllethimdrop!\"

  \"Uponmyword,\"Icried,withheat,\"ifshedoes,shewillbeaveryunprincipledlittlecreature!\"

  Niedermeyershruggedhisshoulders。\"Ineversaidshewasasaint!\"

  ShrewdasIfeltNiedermeyertobe,Iwasnotpreparedtotakehissimplewordforthisevent,andintheeveningIreceivedacommunicationwhichfortifiedmydoubts。ItwasanotefromPickering,anditranasfollows:—

  \"MyDearFriend——Ihaveeveryhopeofbeinghappy,butIamtogotoWiesbadentolearnmyfate。MadameBlumenthalgoesthitherthisafternoontospendafewdays,andsheallowsmetoaccompanyher。

  Givemeyourgoodwishes;youshallhearoftheresult。E。P。\"

  OneofthediversionsofHomburgfornew—comersistodineinrotationatthedifferenttablesd’hote。Itsohappenedthat,acoupleofdayslater,Niedermeyertookpot—luckatmyhotel,andsecuredaseatbesidemyown。AswetookourplacesIfoundaletteronmyplate,and,asitwaspostmarkedWiesbaden,Ilostnotimeinopeningit。Itcontainedbutthreelines——\"Iamhappy——Iamaccepted——anhourago。Icanhardlybelieveit’syourpoorfriendE。P。\"

  IplacedthenotebeforeNiedermeyer;notexactlyintriumph,butwiththealacrityofallfelicitousconfutation。Helookedatitmuchlongerthanwasneedfultoreadit,strokingdownhisbeardgravely,andIfeltitwasnotsoeasytoconfuteapupiloftheschoolofMetternich。Atlast,foldingthenoteandhandingitback,\"HasyourfriendmentionedMadameBlumenthal’serrandatWiesbaden?\"

  heasked。

  \"Youlookverywise。Igiveitup!\"saidI。

  \"Sheisgonetheretomakethemajorfollowher。Hewentbythenexttrain。\"

  \"Andhasthemajor,onhisside,droppedyoualine?\"

  \"Heisnotaletter—writer。\"

  \"Well,\"saidI,pocketingmyletter,\"withthisdocumentinmyhandI

  amboundtoreservemyjudgment。WewillhaveabottleofJohannisberg,anddrinktothetriumphofvirtue。\"

  ForawholeweekmoreIheardnothingfromPickering——somewhattomysurprise,and,asthedayswentby,notalittletomydiscomposure。

  Ihadexpectedthathisblisswouldcontinuetooverflowinbriefbulletins,andhissilencewaspossiblyanindicationthatithadbeenclouded。AtlastIwrotetohishotelatWiesbaden,butreceivednoanswer;whereupon,asmynextresource,IrepairedtohisformerlodgingatHomburg,whereIthoughtitpossiblehehadleftpropertywhichhewouldsoonerorlatersendfor。ThereIlearnedthathehadindeedjusttelegraphedfromCologneforhisluggage。ToCologneIimmediatelydespatchedalineofinquiryastohisprosperityandthecauseofhissilence。ThenextdayIreceivedthreewordsinanswer——asimpleuncommentedrequestthatIwouldcometohim。Ilostnotime,andreachedhiminthecourseofafewhours。ItwasdarkwhenIarrived,andthecitywassheetedinacoldautumnalrain。Pickeringhadstumbled,withanindifferencewhichwasitselfasymptomofdistress,onacertainmustyoldMainzerhof,andIfoundhimsittingoverasmoulderingfireinavastdingychamberwhichlookedasifithadgrowngraywithwatchingtheennuioftengenerationsoftravellers。Lookingathim,asheroseonmyentrance,Isawthathewasinextremetribulation。Hewaspaleandhaggard;hisfacewasfiveyearsolder。Now,atleast,inallconscience,hehadtastedofthecupoflife!Iwasanxioustoknowwhathadturneditsosuddenlytobitterness;butIsparedhimallimportunatecuriosity,andlethimtakehistime。Iacceptedtacitlyhistacitconfessionofdistress,andwemadeforawhileafeebleefforttodiscussthepicturesquenessofCologne。Atlastheroseandstoodalongtimelookingintothefire,whileIslowlypacedthelengthoftheduskyroom。

  \"Well!\"hesaid,asIcameback;\"Iwantedknowledge,andIcertainlyknowsomethingIdidn’tamonthago。\"Andherewith,calmlyandsuccinctlyenough,asifdismayhadwornitselfout,herelatedthehistoryoftheforegoingdays。Hetouchedlightlyondetails;heevidentlyneverwastogushasfreelyagainashehaddoneduringtheprosperityofhissuit。Hehadbeenacceptedoneevening,asexplicitlyashisimaginationcoulddesire,andhadgoneforthinhisraptureandroamedabouttillnearlymorninginthegardensoftheConversation—house,takingthestarsandtheperfumesofthesummernightintohisconfidence。\"Itisworthitall,almost,\"hesaid,\"tohavebeenwoundupforanhourtothatcelestialpitch。Noman,Iamsure,caneverknowitbutonce。\"ThenextmorninghehadrepairedtoMadameBlumenthal’slodgingandhadbeenmet,tohisamazement,byanakedrefusaltoseehim。Hehadstrodeaboutforacoupleofhours——inanothermood——andthenhadreturnedtothecharge。Theservanthandedhimathree—cornerednote;itcontainedthesewords:\"Leavemealoneto—day;Iwillgiveyoutenminutesto—

  morrowevening。\"Ofthenextthirty—sixhourshecouldgivenocoherentaccount,butattheappointedtimeMadameBlumenthalhadreceivedhim。Almostbeforeshespoketherehadcometohimasenseofthedepthofhisfollyinsupposingheknewher。\"Onehasheardallone’sdays,\"hesaid,\"ofpeopleremovingthemask;it’soneofthestockphrasesofromance。Well,thereshestoodwithhermaskinherhand。Herface,\"hewentongravely,afterapause——\"herfacewashorrible!\"……\"Igiveyoutenminutes,\"shehadsaid,pointingtotheclock。\"Makeyourscene,tearyourhair,brandishyourdagger!\"Andshehadsatdownandfoldedherarms。\"It’snotajoke,\"shecried,\"it’sdeadearnest;letushaveitover。Youaredismissed——haveyounothingtosay?\"Hehadstammeredsomefranticdemandforanexplanation;andshehadrisenandcomenearhim,lookingathimfromheadtofeet,verypale,andevidentlymoreexcitedthanshewishedhimtosee。\"Ihavedonewithyou!\"shesaid,withasmile;\"yououghttohavedonewithme!Ithasallbeendelightful,butthereareexcellentreasonswhyitshouldcometoanend。\"\"Youhavebeenplayingapart,then,\"hehadgaspedout;\"younevercaredforme?\"\"Yes;tillIknewyou;tillIsawhowfaryouwouldgo。Butnowthestory’sfinished;wehavereachedthedenoument。Wewillclosethebookandbegoodfriends。\"\"ToseehowfarIwouldgo?\"hehadrepeated。\"Youledmeon,meaningallthewhiletodoTHIS!\"\"Iledyouon,ifyouwill。Ireceivedyourvisits,inseasonandout!Sometimestheywereveryentertaining;

点击下载App,搜索"Eugene Pickering",免费读到尾