Itisalmostlaughablenow,whenIlookbackonit,thewayfatherwasbeaten。HemetWicksonaccidentallyonthestreetinSanFrancisco,andhetoldWicksonthathewasadamnedscoundrel。Andthenfatherwasarrestedforattemptedassault,finedinthepolicecourt,andboundovertokeepthepeace。Itwasallsoridiculousthatwhenhegothomehehadtolaughhimself。Butwhatafurorwasraisedinthelocalpapers！Therewasgravetalkaboutthebacillusofviolencethatinfectedallmenwhoembracedsocialism;andfather,withhislongandpeacefullife,wasinstancedasashiningexampleofhowthebacillusofviolenceworked。Also,itwasassertedbymorethanonepaperthatfather\'smindhadweakenedunderthestrainofscientificstudy,andconfinementinastateasylumfortheinsanewassuggested。Norwasthismerelytalk。Itwasanimminentperil。Butfatherwaswiseenoughtoseeit。HehadtheBishop\'sexperiencetolessonfrom,andhelessonedwell。Hekeptquietnomatterwhatinjusticewasperpetratedonhim,andreally,Ithink,surprisedhisenemies。
Therewasthematterofthehouse—ourhome。Amortgagewasforeclosedonit,andwehadtogiveuppossession。Ofcoursetherewasn\'tanymortgage,andneverhadbeenanymortgage。Thegroundhadbeenboughtoutright,andthehousehadbeenpaidforwhenitwasbuilt。Andhouseandlothadalwaysbeenfreeandunencumbered。
Neverthelesstherewasthemortgage,properlyandlegallydrawnupandsigned,witharecordofthepaymentsofinterestthroughanumberofyears。Fathermadenooutcry。Ashehadbeenrobbedofhismoney,sowashenowrobbedofhishome。Andhehadnorecourse。Themachineryofsocietywasinthehandsofthosewhowerebentonbreakinghim。Hewasaphilosopheratheart,andhewasnolongerevenangry。
\'Iamdoomedtobebroken,\'hesaidtome;\'butthatisnoreasonthatIshouldnottrytobeshatteredaslittleaspossible。Theseoldbonesofminearefragile,andI\'velearnedmylesson。GodknowsI
don\'twanttospendmylastdaysinaninsaneasylum。\'
WhichremindsmeofBishopMorehouse,whomIhaveneglectedformanypages。Butfirstletmetellofmymarriage。Intheplayofevents,mymarriagesinksintoinsignificance,Iknow,soIshallbarelymentionit。
\'Nowweshallbecomerealproletarians,\'fathersaid,whenweweredrivenfromourhome。\'Ihaveoftenenviedthatyoungmanofyoursforhisactualknowledgeoftheproletariat。NowIshallseeandlearnformyself。\'
Fathermusthavehadstronginhimthebloodofadventure。Helookeduponourcatastropheinthelightofanadventure。Noangernorbitternesspossessedhim。Hewastoophilosophicandsimpletobevindictive,andhelivedtoomuchintheworldofmindtomissthecreaturecomfortsweweregivingup。Soitwas,whenwemovedtoSanFranciscointofourwretchedroomsintheslumsouthofMarketStreet,thatheembarkedupontheadventurewiththejoyandenthusiasmofachild—combinedwiththeclearsightandmentalgraspofanextraordinaryintellect。Hereallynevercrystallizedmentally。Hehadnofalsesenseofvalues。Conventionalorhabitualvaluesmeantnothingtohim。Theonlyvaluesherecognizedweremathematicalandscientificfacts。Myfatherwasagreatman。Hehadthemindandthesoulthatonlygreatmenhave。InwayshewasevengreaterthanErnest,thanwhomIhaveknownnonegreater。
EvenIfoundsomereliefinourchangeofliving。Ifnothingelse,I
wasescapingfromtheorganizedostracismthathadbeenourincreasingportionintheuniversitytowneversincetheenmityofthenascentOligarchyhadbeenincurred。Andthechangewastomelikewiseadventure,andthegreatestofall,foritwaslove—adventure。Thechangeinourfortuneshadhastenedmymarriage,anditwasasawifethatIcametoliveinthefourroomsonPellStreet,intheSanFranciscoslum。
Andthisoutofallremains:ImadeErnesthappy。Icameintohisstormylife,notasanewperturbingforce,butasonethatmadetowardpeaceandrepose。Igavehimrest。Itwastheguerdonofmyloveforhim。ItwastheoneinfallibletokenthatIhadnotfailed。
Tobringforgetfulness,orthelightofgladness,intothosepoortiredeyesofhis—whatgreaterjoycouldhaveblessedmethanthat？
Thosedeartiredeyes。Hetoiledasfewmenevertoiled,andallhislifetimehetoiledforothers。Thatwasthemeasureofhismanhood。Hewasahumanistandalover。Andhe,withhisincarnatespiritofbattle,hisgladiatorbodyandhiseaglespirit—hewasasgentleandtendertomeasapoet。Hewasapoet。Asingerindeeds。Andallhislifehesangthesongofman。Andhediditoutofsheerloveofman,andformanhegavehislifeandwascrucified。
Andallthishedidwithnohopeoffuturereward。Inhisconceptionofthingstherewasnofuturelife。He,whofairlyburntwithimmortality,deniedhimselfimmortality—suchwastheparadoxofhim。He,sowarminspirit,wasdominatedbythatcoldandforbiddingphilosophy,materialisticmonism。IusedtorefutehimbytellinghimthatImeasuredhisimmortalitybythewingsofhissoul,andthatIshouldhavetoliveendlessaeonsinordertoachievethefullmeasurement。Whereathewouldlaugh,andhisarmswouldleapouttome,andhewouldcallmehissweetmetaphysician;andthetirednesswouldpassoutofhiseyes,andintothemwouldfloodthehappylove—lightthatwasinitselfanewandsufficientadvertisementofhisimmortality。
Also,heusedtocallmehisdualist,andhewouldexplainhowKant,bymeansofpurereason,hadabolishedreason,inordertoworshipGod。Andhedrewtheparallelandincludedmeguiltyofasimilaract。
AndwhenIpleadedguilty,butdefendedtheactashighlyrational,hebutpressedmecloserandlaughedasonlyoneofGod\'sownloverscouldlaugh。Iwaswonttodenythatheredityandenvironmentcouldexplainhisownoriginalityandgenius,anymorethancouldthecoldgropingfingerofsciencecatchandanalyzeandclassifythatelusiveessencethatlurkedintheconstitutionoflifeitself。
IheldthatspacewasanapparitionofGod,andthatsoulwasaprojectionofthecharacterofGod;andwhenhecalledmehissweetmetaphysician,Icalledhimmyimmortalmaterialist。Andsowelovedandwerehappy;andIforgavehimhismaterialismbecauseofhistremendousworkintheworld,performedwithoutthoughtofsoul—gainthereby,andbecauseofhissoexceedingmodestyofspiritthatpreventedhimfromhavingprideandregalconsciousnessofhimselfandhissoul。
Buthehadpride。Howcouldhehavebeenaneagleandnothavepride？HiscontentionwasthatitwasfinerforafinitemortalspeckoflifetofeelGodlike,thanforagodtofeelgodlike;andsoitwasthatheexaltedwhathedeemedhismortality。Hewasfondofquotingafragmentfromacertainpoem。Hehadneverseenthewholepoem,andhehadtriedvainlytolearnitsauthorship。Iheregivethefragment,notalonebecausehelovedit,butbecauseitepitomizedtheparadoxthathewasinthespiritofhim,andhisconceptionofhisspirit。Forhowcanaman,withthrilling,andburning,andexaltation,recitethefollowingandstillbemeremortalearth,abitoffugitiveforce,anevanescentform？Hereitis:
\'JoyuponjoyandgainupongainArethedestinedrightsofmybirth,AndIshoutthepraiseofmyendlessdaysTotheechoingedgeoftheearth。
ThoughIsufferalldeathsthatamancandieTotheuttermostendoftime,Ihavedeep—drainedthis,mycupofbliss,Ineveryageandclime—
\'ThefrothofPride,thetangofPower,ThesweetofWomanhood！
Idraintheleesuponmyknees,Foroh,thedraughtisgood;
IdrinktoLife,IdrinktoDeath,Andsmackmylipswithsong,ForwhenIdie,another\'I\'shallpassthecupalong。
\'ThemanyoudrovefromEden\'sgroveWasI,myLord,wasI,AndIshallbetherewhentheearthandtheairArerentfromseatosky;
Foritismyworld,mygorgeousworld,Theworldofmydearestwoes,FromthefirstfaintcryofthenewbornTotherackofthewoman\'sthroes。
\'Packedwiththepulseofanunbornrace,Tornwithaworld\'sdesire,ThesurgingfloodofmywildyoungbloodWouldquenchthejudgmentfire。
IamMan,Man,Man,fromthetinglingfleshTothedustofmyearthlygoal,FromthenestlinggloomofthepregnantwombTothesheenofmynakedsoul。
BoneofmyboneandfleshofmyfleshThewholeworldleapstomywill,AndtheunslakedthirstofanEdencursedShallharrowtheearthforitsfill。
AlmightyGod,whenIdrainlife\'sglassOfallitsrainbowgleams,ThehaplessplightofeternalnightShallbenonetoolongformydreams。
\'ThemanyoudrovefromEden\'sgroveWasI,myLord,wasI,AndIshallbetherewhentheearthandtheairArerentfromseatosky;
Foritismyworld,mygorgeousworld,Theworldofmydeardelight,FromthebrightestgleamoftheArcticstreamTotheduskofmyownlove—night。\'
Ernestalwaysoverworked。Hiswonderfulconstitutionkepthimup;
buteventhatconstitutioncouldnotkeepthetiredlookoutofhiseyes。Hisdear,tiredeyes！Heneversleptmorethanfourandone—halfhoursanight;yetheneverfoundtimetodoalltheworkhewantedtodo。Heneverceasedfromhisactivitiesasapropagandist,andwasalwaysscheduledlonginadvanceforlecturestoworkingmen\'sorganizations。Thentherewasthecampaign。Hedidaman\'sfullworkinthatalone。Withthesuppressionofthesocialistpublishinghouses,hismeagreroyaltiesceased,andhewashard—puttomakealiving;forhehadtomakealivinginadditiontoallhisotherlabor。Hedidagreatdealoftranslatingforthemagazinesonscientificandphilosophicsubjects;and,cominghomelateatnight,wornoutfromthestrainofthecampaign,hewouldplungeintohistranslatingandtoilonwellintothemorninghours。Andinadditiontoeverything,therewashisstudying。Tothedayofhisdeathhekeptuphisstudies,andhestudiedprodigiously。
Andyethefoundtimeinwhichtolovemeandmakemehappy。Butthiswasaccomplishedonlythroughmymergingmylifecompletelyintohis。Ilearnedshorthandandtypewriting,andbecamehissecretary。HeinsistedthatIsucceededincuttinghisworkinhalf;
andsoitwasthatIschooledmyselftounderstandhiswork。Ourinterestsbecamemutual,andweworkedtogetherandplayedtogether。
Andthentherewereoursweetstolenmomentsinthemidstofourwork—justaword,orcaress,orflashoflove—light;andourmomentsweresweeterforbeingstolen。Forwelivedontheheights,wheretheairwaskeenandsparkling,wherethetoilwasforhumanity,andwheresordidnessandselfishnessneverentered。Welovedlove,andourlovewasneversmirchedbyanythinglessthanthebest。Andthisoutofallremains:Ididnotfail。Igavehimrest—hewhoworkedsohardforothers,mydear,tired—eyedmortalist。
CHAPTERTWELVE。
TheBishop。
ITWASAFTERMYMARRIAGEthatIchanceduponBishopMorehouse。ButI
mustgivetheeventsintheirpropersequence。AfterhisoutbreakattheI。P。H。Convention,theBishop,beingagentlesoul,hadyieldedtothefriendlypressurebroughttobearuponhim,andhadgoneawayonavacation。ButhereturnedmorefixedthaneverinhisdeterminationtopreachthemessageoftheChurch。Totheconsternationofhiscongregation,hisfirstsermonwasquitesimilartotheaddresshehadgivenbeforetheConvention。Againhesaid,andatlengthandwithdistressingdetail,thattheChurchhadwanderedawayfromtheMaster\'steaching,andthatMammonhadbeeninstatedintheplaceofChrist。
Andtheresultwas,willy—nilly,thathewasledawaytoaprivatesanitariumformentaldisease,whileinthenewspapersappearedpatheticaccountsofhismentalbreakdownandofthesaintlinessofhischaracter。Hewasheldaprisonerinthesanitarium。Icalledrepeatedly,butwasdeniedaccesstohim;andIwasterriblyimpressedbythetragedyofasane,normal,saintlymanbeingcrushedbythebrutalwillofsociety。FortheBishopwassane,andpure,andnoble。AsErnestsaid,allthatwasthematterwithhimwasthathehadincorrectnotionsofbiologyandsociology,andbecauseofhisincorrectnotionshehadnotgoneaboutitintherightwaytorectifymatters。
WhatterrifiedmewastheBishop\'shelplessness。Ifhepersistedinthetruthashesawit,hewasdoomedtoaninsaneward。Andhecoulddonothing。Hismoney,hisposition,hisculture,couldnotsavehim。Hisviewswereperiloustosociety,andsocietycouldnotconceivethatsuchperilousviewscouldbetheproductofasanemind。
Or,atleast,itseemstomethatsuchwassociety\'sattitude。
ButtheBishop,inspiteofthegentlenessandpurityofhisspirit,waspossessedofguile。Heapprehendedclearlyhisdanger。Hesawhimselfcaughtintheweb,andhetriedtoescapefromit。Deniedhelpfromhisfriends,suchasfatherandErnestandIcouldhavegiven,hewaslefttobattleforhimselfalone。Andintheenforcedsolitudeofthesanitariumherecovered。Hebecameagainsane。Hiseyesceasedtoseevisions;hisbrainwaspurgedofthefancythatitwasthedutyofsocietytofeedtheMaster\'slambs。
AsIsay,hebecamewell,quitewell,andthenewspapersandthechurchpeoplehailedhisreturnwithjoy。Iwentoncetohischurch。
Thesermonwasofthesameorderastheoneshehadpreachedlongbeforehiseyeshadseenvisions。Iwasdisappointed,shocked。Hadsocietythenbeatenhimintosubmission？Washeacoward？Hadhebeenbulldozedintorecanting？Orhadthestrainbeentoogreatforhim,andhadhemeeklysurrenderedtothejuggernautoftheestablished？
Icalleduponhiminhisbeautifulhome。Hewaswoefullychanged。Hewasthinner,andtherewerelinesonhisfacewhichIhadneverseenbefore。Hewasmanifestlydistressedbymycoming。Hepluckednervouslyathissleeveaswetalked;andhiseyeswererestless,flutteringhere,there,andeverywhere,andrefusingtomeetmine。Hismindseemedpreoccupied,andtherewerestrangepausesinhisconversation,abruptchangesoftopic,andaninconsecutivenessthatwasbewildering。Couldthis,then,bethefirm—poised,Christ—likemanIhadknown,withpure,limpideyesandagazesteadyandunfalteringashissoul？Hehadbeenman—handled;hehadbeencowedintosubjection。Hisspiritwastoogentle。Ithadnotbeenmightyenoughtofacetheorganizedwolf—packofsociety。
Ifeltsad,unutterablysad。Hetalkedambiguously,andwassoapprehensiveofwhatImightsaythatIhadnotthehearttocatechisehim。Hespokeinafar—awaymannerofhisillness,andwetalkeddisjointedlyaboutthechurch,thealterationsintheorgan,andaboutpettycharities;andhesawmedepartwithsuchevidentreliefthatIshouldhavelaughedhadnotmyheartbeensofulloftears。
Thepoorlittlehero！IfIhadonlyknown！Hewasbattlinglikeagiant,andIdidnotguessit。Alone,allalone,inthemidstofmillionsofhisfellow—men,hewasfightinghisfight。Tornbyhishorroroftheasylumandhisfidelitytotruthandtheright,heclungsteadfastlytotruthandtheright;butsoalonewashethathedidnotdaretotrustevenme。Hehadlearnedhislessonwell—toowell。
ButIwassoontoknow。OnedaytheBishopdisappeared。Hehadtoldnobodythathewasgoingaway;andasthedayswentbyandhedidnotreappear,therewasmuchgossiptotheeffectthathehadcommittedsuicidewhiletemporarilyderanged。Butthisideawasdispelledwhenitwaslearnedthathehadsoldallhispossessions,—
hiscitymansion,hiscountryhouseatMenloPark,hispaintings,andcollections,andevenhischerishedlibrary。Itwaspatentthathehadmadeacleanandsecretsweepofeverythingbeforehedisappeared。
Thishappenedduringthetimewhencalamityhadovertakenusinourownaffairs;anditwasnottillwewerewellsettledinournewhomethatwehadopportunityreallytowonderandspeculateabouttheBishop\'sdoings。Andthen,everythingwassuddenlymadeclear。
Earlyoneevening,whileitwasyettwilight,Ihadrunacrossthestreetandintothebutcher—shoptogetsomechopsforErnest\'ssupper。Wecalledthelastmealoftheday\'supper\'inournewenvironment。
JustatthemomentIcameoutofthebutcher—shop,amanemergedfromthecornergrocerythatstoodalongside。Aqueersensefamiliaritymademelookagain。Butthemanhadturnedandwaswalkingrapidlyaway。Therewassomethingabouttheslopeoftheshouldersandthefringeofsilverhairbetweencoatcollarandslouchhatthatarousedvaguememories。Insteadofcrossingthestreet,Ihurriedaftertheman。Iquickenedmypace,tryingnottothinkthethoughtsthatformedunbiddeninmybrain。No,itwasimpossible。Itcouldnotbe—notinthosefadedoveralls,toolonginthelegsandfrayedatthebottoms。
Ipaused,laughedatmyself,andalmostabandonedthechase。Butthehauntingfamiliarityofthoseshouldersandthatsilverhair！AgainIhurriedon。AsIpassedhim,Ishotakeenlookathisface;thenIwhirledaroundabruptlyandconfronted—theBishop。
Hehaltedwithequalabruptness,andgasped。Alargepaperbaginhisrighthandfelltothesidewalk。Itburst,andabouthisfeetandminebouncedandrolledafloodofpotatoes。Helookedatmewithsurpriseandalarm,thenheseemedtowiltaway;theshouldersdroopedwithdejection,andheutteredadeepsigh。
Iheldoutmyhand。Heshookit,buthishandfeltclammy。Heclearedhisthroatinembarrassment,andIcouldseethesweatstartingoutonhisforehead。Itwasevidentthathewasbadlyfrightened。
\'Thepotatoes,\'hemurmuredfaintly。\'Theyareprecious。\'
Betweenuswepickedthemupandreplacedtheminthebrokenbag,whichhenowheldcarefullyinthehollowofhisarm。Itriedtotellhimmygladnessatmeetinghimandthathemustcomerighthomewithme。
\'Fatherwillberejoicedtoseeyou,\'Isaid。\'Weliveonlyastone\'sthrowaway。
\'Ican\'t,\'hesaid,\'Imustbegoing。Good—by。\'
Helookedapprehensivelyabouthim,asthoughdreadingdiscovery,andmadeanattempttowalkon。
\'Tellmewhereyoulive,andIshallcalllater,\'hesaid,whenhesawthatIwalkedbesidehimandthatitwasmyintentiontosticktohimnowthathewasfound。
\'No,\'Iansweredfirmly。\'Youmustcomenow。\'
Helookedatthepotatoesspillingonhisarm,andatthesmallparcelsonhisotherarm。
\'Really,itisimpossible,\'hesaid。\'Forgivemeformyrudeness。Ifyouonlyknew。\'
Helookedasifheweregoingtobreakdown,butthenextmomenthehadhimselfincontrol。
\'Besides,thisfood,\'hewenton。\'Itisasadcase。Itisterrible。
Sheisanoldwoman。Imusttakeittoheratonce。Sheissufferingfromwantofit。Imustgoatonce。Youunderstand。ThenIwillreturn。Ipromiseyou。\'
\'Letmegowithyou,\'Ivolunteered。\'Isitfar？\'
Hesighedagain,andsurrendered。
\'Onlytwoblocks,\'hesaid。\'Letushasten。\'
UndertheBishop\'sguidanceIlearnedsomethingofmyownneighborhood。Ihadnotdreamedsuchwretchednessandmiseryexistedinit。Ofcourse,thiswasbecauseIdidnotconcernmyselfwithcharity。IhadbecomeconvincedthatErnestwasrightwhenhesneeredatcharityasapoulticingofanulcer。Removetheulcer,washisremedy;givetotheworkerhisproduct;pensionassoldiersthosewhogrowhonorablyoldintheirtoil,andtherewillbenoneedforcharity。Convincedofthis,Itoiledwithhimattherevolution,anddidnotexhaustmyenergyinalleviatingthesocialillsthatcontinuouslyarosefromtheinjusticeofthesystem。
IfollowedtheBishopintoasmallroom,tenbytwelve,inareartenement。AndtherewefoundalittleoldGermanwoman—sixty—fouryearsold,theBishopsaid。Shewassurprisedatseeingme,butshenoddedapleasantgreetingandwentonsewingonthepairofmen\'strousersinherlap。Besideher,onthefloor,wasapileoftrousers。
TheBishopdiscoveredtherewasneithercoalnorkindling,andwentouttobuysome。
Itookupapairoftrousersandexaminedherwork。
\'Sixcents,lady,\'shesaid,noddingherheadgentlywhileshewentonstitching。Shestitchedslowly,butneverdidsheceasefromstitching。Sheseemedmasteredbytheverb\'tostitch。\'
\'Forallthatwork？\'Iasked。\'Isthatwhattheypay？Howlongdoesittakeyou？\'
\'Yes,\'sheanswered,\'thatiswhattheypay。Sixcentsforfinishing。Twohours\'sewingoneachpair。\'
Butthebossdoesn\'tknowthat,\'sheaddedquickly,betrayingafearofgettinghimintotrouble。\'I\'mslow。I\'vegottherheumatisminmyhands。Girlsworkmuchfaster。Theyfinishinhalfthattime。Thebossiskind。Heletsmetaketheworkhome,nowthatIamoldandthenoiseofthemachinebothersmyhead。Ifitwasn\'tforhiskindness,I\'dstarve。
\'Yes,thosewhoworkintheshopgeteightcents。Butwhatcanyoudo？Thereisnotenoughworkfortheyoung。Theoldhavenochance。
OftenonepairisallIcanget。Sometimes,liketo—day,Iamgiveneightpairtofinishbeforenight。\'
Iaskedherthehourssheworked,andshesaiditdependedontheseason。
\'Inthesummer,whenthereisarushorder,Iworkfromfiveinthemorningtonineatnight。Butinthewinteritistoocold。Thehandsdonotearlygetoverthestiffness。Thenyoumustworklater—
tillaftermidnightsometimes。
\'Yes,ithasbeenabadsummer。Thehardtimes。Godmustbeangry。
Thisisthefirstworkthebosshasgivenmeinaweek。Itistrue,onecannoteatmuchwhenthereisnowork。Iamusedtoit。Ihavesewedallmylife,intheoldcountryandhereinSanFrancisco—
thirty—threeyears。
\'Ifyouaresureoftherent,itisallright。Thehousemanisverykind,buthemusthavehisrent。Itisfair。Heonlychargesthreedollarsforthisroom。Thatischeap。Butitisnoteasyforyoutofindallofthreedollarseverymonth。\'
Sheceasedtalking,and,noddingherhead,wentonstitching。
\'Youhavetobeverycarefulastohowyouspendyourearnings,\'I
suggested。
Shenoddedemphatically。
\'Aftertherentit\'snotsobad。Ofcourseyoucan\'tbuymeat。Andthereisnomilkforthecoffee。Butalwaysthereisonemealaday,andoftentwo。\'
Shesaidthislastproudly。Therewasasmackofsuccessinherwords。Butasshestitchedoninsilence,Inoticedthesadnessinherpleasanteyesandthedroopofhermouth。Thelookinhereyesbecamefaraway。Sherubbedthedimnesshastilyoutofthem;itinterferedwithherstitching。
No,itisnotthehungerthatmakestheheartache,\'sheexplained。\'Yougetusedtobeinghungry。ItisformychildthatI
cry。Itwasthemachinethatkilledher。Itistruesheworkedhard,butIcannotunderstand。Shewasstrong。Andshewasyoung—onlyforty;andsheworkedonlythirtyyears。Shebeganyoung,itistrue;butmymandied。Theboilerexplodeddownattheworks。Andwhatwerewetodo？Shewasten,butshewasverystrong。Butthemachinekilledher。Yes,itdid。Itkilledher,andshewasthefastestworkerintheshop。Ihavethoughtaboutitoften,andIknow。ThatiswhyIcannotworkintheshop。Themachinebothersmyhead。AlwaysI
hearitsaying,\"Ididit,Ididit。\"Anditsaysthatalldaylong。
AndthenIthinkofmydaughter,andIcannotwork。\'
Themoistnesswasinheroldeyesagain,andshehadtowipeitawaybeforeshecouldgoonstitching。
IheardtheBishopstumblingupthestairs,andIopenedthedoor。
Whataspectaclehewas。Onhisbackhecarriedhalfasackofcoal,withkindlingontop。Someofthecoaldusthadcoatedhisface,andthesweatfromhisexertionswasrunninginstreaks。Hedroppedhisburdeninthecornerbythestoveandwipedhisfaceonacoarsebandanahandkerchief。Icouldscarcelyaccepttheverdictofmysenses。TheBishop,blackasacoal—heaver,inaworkingman\'scheapcottonshirt（onebuttonwasmissingfromthethroat）,andinoveralls！Thatwasthemostincongruousofall—theoveralls,frayedatthebottoms,draggeddownattheheels,andheldupbyanarrowleatherbeltaroundthehipssuchaslaborerswear。
ThoughtheBishopwaswarm,thepoorswollenhandsoftheoldwomanwerealreadycrampingwiththecold;andbeforewelefther,theBishophadbuiltthefire,whileIhadpeeledthepotatoesandputthemontoboil。Iwastolearn,astimewentby,thatthereweremanycasessimilartohers,andmanyworse,hiddenawayinthemonstrousdepthsofthetenementsinmyneighborhood。
WegotbacktofindErnestalarmedbymyabsence。Afterthefirstsurpriseofgreetingwasover,theBishopleanedbackinhischair,stretchedouthisoverall—coveredlegs,andactuallysighedacomfortablesigh。Wewerethefirstofhisoldfriendshehadmetsincehisdisappearance,hetoldus;andduringtheinterveningweekshemusthavesufferedgreatlyfromloneliness。Hetoldusmuch,thoughhetoldusmoreofthejoyhehadexperiencedindoingtheMaster\'sbidding。
\'Fortrulynow,\'hesaid,\'Iamfeedinghislambs。AndIhavelearnedagreatlesson。Thesoulcannotbeministeredtotillthestomachisappeased。Hislambsmustbefedbreadandbutterandpotatoesandmeat;afterthat,andonlyafterthat,aretheirspiritsreadyformorerefinednourishment。\'
HeateheartilyofthesupperIcooked。Neverhadhehadsuchanappetiteatourtableintheolddays。Wespokeofit,andhesaidthathehadneverbeensohealthyinhislife。
\'Iwalkalwaysnow,\'hesaid,andablushwasonhischeekatthethoughtofthetimewhenherodeinhiscarriage,asthoughitwereasinnotlightlytobelaid。
\'Myhealthisbetterforit,\'headdedhastily。\'AndIamveryhappy—indeed,mosthappy。AtlastIamaconsecratedspirit。\'
Andyettherewasinhisfaceapermanentpain,thepainoftheworldthathewasnowtakingtohimself。Hewasseeinglifeintheraw,anditwasadifferentlifefromwhathehadknownwithintheprintedbooksofhislibrary。
\'Andyouareresponsibleforallthis,youngman,\'hesaiddirectlytoErnest。
Ernestwasembarrassedandawkward。
\'I—Iwarnedyou,\'hefaltered。
\'No,youmisunderstand,\'theBishopanswered。\'Ispeaknotinreproach,butingratitude。Ihaveyoutothankforshowingmemypath。Youledmefromtheoriesaboutlifetolifeitself。Youpulledasidetheveilsfromthesocialshams。Youwerelightinmydarkness,butnowI,too,seethelight。AndIamveryhappy,only……\'
hehesitatedpainfully,andinhiseyesfearleapedlarge。\'Onlythepersecution。Iharmnoone。Whywilltheynotletmealone？Butitisnotthat。Itisthenatureofthepersecution。Ishouldn\'tmindiftheycutmyfleshwithstripes,orburnedmeatthestake,orcrucifiedmehead—downward。Butitistheasylumthatfrightensme。
Thinkofit！Ofme—inanasylumfortheinsane！Itisrevolting。I
sawsomeofthecasesatthesanitarium。Theywereviolent。MybloodchillswhenIthinkofit。Andtobeimprisonedfortherestofmylifeamidscenesofscreamingmadness！No！no！Notthat！Notthat！\'
Itwaspitiful。Hishandsshook,hiswholebodyquiveredandshrankawayfromthepicturehehadconjured。Butthenextmomenthewascalm。
\'Forgiveme,\'hesaidsimply。\'Itismywretchednerves。AndiftheMaster\'sworkleadsthere,sobeit。WhoamItocomplain？\'
IfeltlikecryingaloudasIlookedathim:\'GreatBishop！O
hero！God\'shero！\'
Astheeveningworeonwelearnedmoreofhisdoings。
\'Isoldmyhouse—myhouses,rather,\'hesaid,allmyotherpossessions。IknewImustdoitsecretly,elsetheywouldhavetakeneverythingawayfromme。Thatwouldhavebeenterrible。I
oftenmarvelthesedaysattheimmensequantityofpotatoestwoorthreehundredthousanddollarswillbuy,orbread,ormeat,orcoalandkindling。\'HeturnedtoErnest。\'Youareright,youngman。Laborisdreadfullyunderpaid。Ineverdidabitofworkinmylife,excepttoappealaestheticallytoPharisees—IthoughtIwaspreachingthemessage—andyetIwasworthhalfamilliondollars。IneverknewwhathalfamilliondollarsmeantuntilIrealizedhowmuchpotatoesandbreadandbutterandmeatitcouldbuy。AndthenI
realizedsomethingmore。Irealizedthatallthosepotatoesandthatbreadandbutterandmeatweremine,andthatIhadnotworkedtomakethem。Thenitwascleartome,someoneelsehadworkedandmadethemandbeenrobbedofthem。AndwhenIcamedownamongstthepoorIfoundthosewhohadbeenrobbedandwhowerehungryandwretchedbecausetheyhadbeenrobbed。\'
Wedrewhimbacktohisnarrative。
\'Themoney？Ihaveitdepositedinmanydifferentbanksunderdifferentnames。Itcanneverbetakenawayfromme,becauseitcanneverbefound。Anditissogood,thatmoney。Itbuyssomuchfood。I
neverknewbeforewhatmoneywasgoodfor。\'
\'Iwishwecouldgetsomeofitforthepropaganda,\'Ernestsaidwistfully。\'Itwoulddoimmensegood。\'
\'Doyouthinkso？\'theBishopsaid。\'Idonothavemuchfaithinpolitics。Infact,IamafraidIdonotunderstandpolitics。\'
Ernestwasdelicateinsuchmatters。Hedidnotrepeathissuggestion,thoughheknewonlytoowellthesorestraitstheSocialistPartywasinthroughlackofmoney。