Thereisnouse,letmesayhere,inaddressingtomelettersmarked\"personal,\"\"private,\"\"confidential,\"andsoforth,askingmehowI
cametoknowwhathappenedincertainconversationsofwhichIshallgiveapartialaccount。Ifthereisaverysensitivephonographlyingabouthereandthereinunsuspectedcorners,thatmightaccountforsomepartofmyrevelations。IfDelilah,whosehearingisofalmostsupernaturaldelicacy,reportstomewhatsheoverhears,itmightexplainapartofthemystery。IdonotwanttoaccuseDelilah,butayoungpersonwhoassuresmeshecanhearmywatchtickinginmypocket,whenIaminthenextroom,mightundoubtedlytellmanysecrets,ifsodisposed。NumberFiveisprettynearlyomniscient,andsheandIareonthebesttermswitheachother。
TheseareallthehintsIshallgiveyouatpresent。
TheTeacupsofwhomtheleasthasbeenheardatourtablearetheTutorandtheMusician。TheTutorisamodestyoungman,keptdownalittle,Ithink,bythepresenceofolderpersons,liketheProfessorandmyself。Ihavemethimseveraltimes,oflate,walkingwithdifferentladyTeacups:oncewiththeAmericanAnnex;twicewiththeEnglishAnnex;oncewiththetwoAnnexestogether;oncewithNumberFive。
IhavementionedthefactthattheTutorisapoetasamonghisclaimstoourattention。ImustaddthatIdonotthinkanytheworseofhimforexpressinghisemotionsandexperiencesinverse。
Forthoughrhymingisoftenabadsigninayoungman,especiallyifheisalreadyoutofhisteens,therearethosetowhomitisasnatural,onemightalmostsayasnecessary,asitistoayoungbirdtofly。Onedoesnotcaretoseebarnyardfowlstumblingaboutintryingtousetheirwings。Theyhaveapairofgood,stoutdrumsticks,andhadbetterkeeptothem,forthemostpart。Butthatfeelingdoesnotapplytoyoungeagles,oreventoyoungswallowsandsparrows。TheTutorisbynomeansoneofthoseignorant,silly,conceitedphrase—tinklers,wholiveonthemusicoftheirownjinglingsyllablesandtheflatteryoftheirfoolishfriends。I
thinkNumberFivemustappreciatehim。Heissincere,warmhearted,——
hispoetryshowsthat,——notinhastetobefamous,andhelookstomeasifheonlywantedlovetosteadyhim。Withoneofthosetwoyounggirlsheoughtcertainlytobecaptivated,ifheisnotalready。
TwicewalkingwiththeEnglishAnnex,Imethim,andtheyweresodeeplyabsorbedinconversationtheyhardlynoticedme。HehasbeentalkingoverthematterwithNumberFive,whoisjustthekindofpersonforaconfidante。
\"IknowIfeelverylonely,\"hewassaying,\"andIonlywishIfeltsurethatIcouldmakeanotherpersonhappy。MylifewouldbetransfiguredifIcouldfindsuchaone,whomIcouldlovewellenoughtogivemylifetoher,——forher,ifthatwereneedful,andwhofeltanaffinityforme,ifanyonecould。\"
\"AndwhynotyourEnglishmaiden？\"saidNumberFive。
\"WhatmakesyouthinkIcaremoreforherthanforherAmericanfriend？\"saidtheTutor。
\"Why,haven\'tImetyouwalkingwithher,anddidn\'tyoubothseemgreatlyinterestedinthesubjectyouwerediscussing？Ithought,ofcourse,itwassomethingmoreorlesssentimentalthatyouweretalkingabout。\"
\"Iwasexplainingthat\'encliticde\'inBrowning\'sGrammarian\'sFuneral。Idon\'tthinktherewasanythingverysentimentalaboutthat。Sheisaninquisitivecreature,thatEnglishgirl。Sheisveryfondofaskingmequestions,——infact,bothofthemare。Thereisonecuriousdifferencebetweenthem:theEnglishgirlsettlesdownintoheranswersandisquiet;theAmericangirlisneversatisfiedwithyesterday\'sconclusions;sheisalwaysreopeningoldquestionsinthelightofsomenewfactorsomenovelidea。IsupposethatpeoplebredfromchildhoodtoleantheirbacksagainstthewalloftheCreedandthechurchcatechismfindithardtositupstraightontherepublicanstool,whichobligesthemtostiffentheirownbacks。
Whichofthesetwogirlswouldbethesafestchoiceforayoungman？
IshouldreallyliketohearwhatansweryonwouldmakeifI
consultedyouseriously,withaviewtomyownchoice,——onthesuppositionthattherewasafairchancethateitherofthemmightbewon。\"
\"Theoneyouareinlovewith,\"answeredNumberFive。
\"Butwhatifitwereacaseof\'HowhappycouldIbewitheither\'？
Whichoffersthebestchanceofhappiness,——amarriagebetweentwopersonsofthesamecountry,oramarriagewhereoneofthepartiesisofforeignbirth？Everythingelsebeingequal,whichisbestforanAmericantomarry,anAmericanoranEnglishgirl？Weneednotconfinethequestiontothosetwoyoungpersons,butputitmoregenerally。\"
\"Therearereasonsonbothsides,\"answeredNumberFive。\"IhaveoftentalkedthismatteroverwithTheDictator。Thisisthewayhespeaksaboutit。Englishbloodisapttotellwellonthestockuponwhichitisengrafted。Overandoveragainhehasnoticedfinelygrownspecimensofhumanbeings,andoninquiryhasfoundthatoneorbothoftheparentsorgrandparentswereofBritishorigin。Thechancesarethatthedescendantsoftheimportedstockwillbeofaricherorganization,moreflorid,moremuscular,withmellowervoices,thanthenativewhosebloodhasbeenunmingledwiththatofnewemigrantssincetheearliercolonialtimes。——SotalksTheDictator。——ImyselfthinktheAmericanwillfindhisEnglishwifeconcentratesherselfmorereadilyandmoreexclusivelyonherhusband,——fortheobviousreasonthatsheisobligedtolivemainlyinhim。Irememberhearinganoldfriendofmyearlydayssay,\'Awomandoesnotbeartransplanting。\'Itdoesnotdototrusttheseoldsayings,andyettheyalmostalwayshavesomefoundationintheexperienceofmankind,whichhasrepeatedthemfromgenerationtogeneration。Happyisthemarriedwomanofforeignbirthwhocansaytoherhusband,asAndromachesaidtoHector,afterenumeratingallthedearrelativesshehadlost,\'Yetwhilemyhectorstillsurvives,IseeMyfather,mother,brethren,allinthee！\'
Howmanyasorrowingwife,exiledfromhernativecountry,dreamsofthemothersheshallseenomore！Howmanyawidow,inastrangeland,wishesthatherpoor,worn—outbodycouldbelaidamongherkinsfolk,inthelittlechurchyardwheresheusedtogatherdaisiesinherchildhood！Ittakesagreatdealoflovetokeepdownthe°
climbingsorrow\'thatswellsupinawoman\'sthroatwhensuchmemoriesseizeuponher,inhermomentsofdesolation。Butifaforeign—bornwomandoeswillinglygiveupallforaman,andneverlooksbackward,likeLot\'swife,sheisaprizethatitisworthrunningarisktogain,——thatis,ifshehasthemakingofagoodwomaninher;andafewyearswillgofartowardsnaturalizingher。\"
TheTutorlistenedtoNumberFivewithmuchapparentinterest。\"Andnow,\"hesaid,\"whatdoyouthinkofhercompanion？\"
\"Acharminggirlforamanofaquiet,easytemperament。Thegreattroubleiswithhervoice。Itispitchedafullnotetoohigh。Itisaggressive,disturbing,andwouldwearoutanervousmanwithouthiseverknowingwhatwasthematterwithhim。AgoodmanycrazyNorthernpeoplewouldrecovertheirreasoniftheycouldliveforayearortwoamongtheblacksoftheSouthernStates。Butthepenetrating,perturbingqualityofthevoicesofmanyofourNorthernwomenhasagreatdealtoanswerforinthewayofdeterminingloveandfriendship。Yourememberthatdearfriendofourswholeftusnotlongsince？Ifthereweremorevoiceslikehers,theworldwouldbeadifferentplacetolivein。Idonotbelieveanymanorwomanevercamewithintherangeofthosesweet,tranquiltoneswithoutbeinghushed,captivated,entrancedImightalmostsay,bytheircalming,soothinginfluence。Canyounotimaginethetonesinwhichthosewords,\'Peace,bestill,\'werespoken？Suchwastheeffectofthevoicetowhichbutafewweeksagowewerelistening。Itishardtobelievethatithasdiedoutofhumanconsciousness。Cansuchavoicebesparedfromthatworldofhappinesstowhichwefondlylookforward,wherewelovetodream,ifwedonotbelievewithassuredconviction,thatwhateverisloveliestinthisourmortalconditionshallbewithusagainasanundyingpossession？YourEnglishfriendhasaveryagreeablevoice,round,mellow,cheery,andherarticulationischarming。Otherthingsbeingequal,Ithinkyou,whoare,perhaps,oversensitive,wouldlivefromtwotothreeyearslongerwithherthanwiththeother。Isupposeamanwholivedwithinhearingofamurmuringbrookwouldfindhislifeshortenedifasawmillweresetupwithinearshotofhisdwelling。\"
\"AndsoyouadvisemetomakelovetotheEnglishgirl,doyou？\"
askedtheTutor。
NumberFivelaughed。Itwasnotaloudlaugh,sheneverlaughednoisily;itwasnotaveryheartylaugh;theideadidnotseemtoamusehermuch。
\"No,\"shesaid,\"Iwon\'ttaketheresponsibility。PerhapsthisisacaseinwhichthetruereadingofGay\'slinewouldbeHowhappycouldIbewithneither。
ThereareseveralyoungwomenintheworldbesidesourtwoAnnexes。\"
IquestionwhethertheTutorhadaskedthosequestionsveryseriously,andIdoubtifNumberFivethoughthewasverymuchinearnest。
OneofTheTeacupsremindedmethatIhadpromisedtosaysomethingofmyanswerstocertainquestions。SoIbeganatonce:
Ihavegiventhenameofbrain—tapperstotheliteraryoperativeswhoaddresspersonswhosenamesarewellknowntothepublic,askingtheiropinionsortheirexperiencesonsubjectswhichareatthetimeofgeneralinterest。Theyexpectaliterarymanorascientificexperttofurnishthemmaterialsforsymposiaandsimilararticles,tobeusedbythemfortheirownspecialpurposes。Sometimestheyexpecttopayfortheinformationfurnishedthem;atothertimes,thehonorofbeingincludedinalistofnotedpersonageswhohavereceivedsimilarrequestsisthoughtsufficientcompensation。Theobjectwithwhichthebrain—tapperputshisquestionsmaybeapurelybenevolentandentirelydisinterestedone。SuchwastheobjectofsomeofthosequestionswhichIhavereceivedandanswered。Thereareothercases,inwhichthebrain—tapperisactingmuchasthosepersonsdowhostopaphysicianinthestreettotalkwithhimabouttheirliversorstomachs,orotherinternalarrangements,insteadofgoingtohisofficeandconsultinghim,expectingtopayforhisadvice。Othersaremorelikethosebusywomenwho,havingthegenerousintentionofmakingahandsomepresenttotheirpastor,ataslittleexpenseasmaybe,sendtoalltheirneighborsandacquaintancesforscrapsofvariousmaterials,outofwhichtheimposing\"bedspread\"orcounterpaneistobeelaborated。
Thatisallverywellsolongasoldpiecesofstuffarealltheycallfor,butitisadifferentmattertoaskforclippingsoutofnewanduncutrollsofcloth。Soitisonethingtoaskanauthorforlibertytouseextractsfromhispublishedwritings,anditisaverydifferentthingtoexpecthimtowriteexpresslyfortheeditor\'sorcompiler\'spieceofliterarypatchwork。
Ihavereceivedmanyquestionswithinthelastyearortwo,someofwhichIamwillingtoanswer,butprefertoansweratmyowntime,inmyownway,throughmycustomarychannelofcommunicationwiththepublic。IhopeIshallnotbemisunderstoodasimplyinganyreproachagainsttheinquirerswho,inordertogetatfactswhichoughttobeknown,applytoallwhomtheycanreachforinformation。Theirinquisitivenessisnotalwaysagreeableorwelcome,butweoughttobegladthattherearemousingfact—hunterstoworryuswithqueriestowhich,forthesakeofthepublic,weareboundtogiveourattention。Letmebeginwithmybrain—tappers。
Andfirst,asthepapershavegivenpublicitytothefactthatI,TheDictatorofthistea—table,havereachedtheageofthreescoreyearsandtwenty,IamrequestedtogiveinformationastohowImanagedtodoit,andtoexplainjusthowtheycangoanddolikewise。IthinkIcanlaydownafewrulesthatwillhelpthemtothedesiredresult。
Thereisnocertaintyinthesebiologicalproblems,buttherearereasonableprobabilitiesuponwhichitissafetoact。
Thefirstthingtobedoneis,someyearsbeforebirth,toadvertiseforacoupleofparentsbothbelongingtolong—livedfamilies。
Especiallyletthemothercomeofaraceinwhichoctogenariansandnonagenariansareverycommonphenomena。Therearepracticaldifficultiesinfollowingoutthissuggestion,butpossiblytheforethoughtofyourprogenitors,orthatconcurrenceofcircumstanceswhichwecallaccident,mayhavearrangedthisforyou。
Donotthinkthatarobustorganizationisanywarrantoflonglife,northatafrailandslightbodilyconstitutionnecessarilymeansscantylengthofdays。Manyastrong—limbedyoungmanandmanyabloomingyoungwomanhaveIseenfailinganddroppingawayinorbeforemiddlelife,andmanyadelicateandslightlyconstitutedpersonoutlivingtheathletesandthebeautiesoftheirgeneration。
Whethertheexcessivedevelopmentofthemuscularsystemiscompatiblewiththebestconditionofgeneralhealthis,Ithink,morethandoubtful。Themusclesaregreatspongesthatsuckupandmakeuseoflargequantitiesofblood,andtheotherorgansmustbeliabletosufferforwantoftheirshare。
OneoftheSevenWiseMenofGreeceboiledhiswisdomdownintotwowords,——NOTHINGTOOMUCH。Itisarulewhichwillapplytofood,exercise,labor,sleep,and,inshort,toeverypartoflife。Thisisnotsoverydifficultamatterifonebeginsingoodseasonandformsregularhabits。ButwhatifIshouldlaydowntherule,Becheerful;takeallthetroublesandtrialsoflifewithperfectequanimityandasmilingcountenance？Admirabledirections！Yourfriend,thecurly—hairedblonde,withfloridcomplexion,roundcheeks,thebestpossibledigestionandrespiration,thestomachofanostrichandthelungsofapearl—diver,findsitperfectlyeasytocarrythemintopractice。You,ofleadencomplexion,withblackandlankhair,lean,hollow—eyed,dyspeptic,nervous,finditnotsoeasytobealwayshilariousandhappy。Thetruthisthatthepersonsofthatbuoyantdispositionwhichcomesalwaysheraldedbyasmile,asayachtdrivenbyafavoringbreezecarriesawreathofsparklingfoambeforeher,arebornwiththeirhappinessreadymade。Theycannothelpbeingcheerfulanymorethantheirsaturninefellow—mortalcanhelpseeingeverythingthroughthecloudhecarrieswithhim。Igiveyoutheprecept,then,Becheerful,forjustwhatitisworth,asI
wouldrecommendtoyoutobesixfeet,oratleastfivefeetten,instature。Youcannotsettlethatmatterforyourself,butyoucanstandupstraight,andgiveyourfivefeetfiveits——fullvalue。
Youcanhelpalongalittlebywearinghigh—heeledshoes。Soyoucandosomethingtoencourageyourselfinserenityofaspectanddemeanor,keepingyourinfirmitiesandtroublesinthebackgroundinsteadofmakingthemthestapleofyourconversation。Thispieceofadvice,iffollowed,maybeworthfromthreetofiveyearsofthefourscorewhichyouhopetoattain。
If,ontheotherhand,insteadofgoingaboutcheerilyinsociety,makingthebestofeverythingandasfaraspossibleforgettingyourtroubles,youcanmakeupyourmindtoeconomizeallyourstoresofvitalenergy,tohoardyourlifeasamiserhoardshismoney,youwillstandafairchanceoflivinguntilyouaretiredoflife,——
fortunateifeverybodyisnottiredofyou。
Oneofmyprescriptionsforlongevitymaystartleyousomewhat。Itisthis:Becomethesubjectofamortaldisease。Lethalfadozendoctorsthumpyou,andkneadyou,andtestyouineverypossibleway,andrendertheirverdictthatyouhaveaninternalcomplaint;theydon\'tknowexactlywhatitis,butitwillcertainlykillyoubyandby。Thenbidfarewelltotheworldandshutyourselfupforaninvalid。Ifyouarethreescoreyearsoldwhenyoubeginthismodeoflife,youmayveryprobablylasttwentyyears,andthereyouare,——anoctogenarian。Inthemeantime,yourfriendsoutsidehavebeendroppingoff,oneafteranother,untilyoufindyourselfalmostalone,nursingyourmortalcomplaintasifitwereyourbaby,huggingitandkeptalivebyit,——iftoexististolive。Whohasnotseencaseslikethis,——amanorawomanshuttinghimselforherselfup,visitedbyadoctororasuccessionofdoctors（Irememberthatonce,inmyearlierexperience,Iwasthetwenty—seventhphysicianwhohadbeenconsulted）,alwaystakingmedicine,untileverybodywasremindedofthatimpatientspeechofarelativeofoneoftheseinvalidvampireswholiveonthebloodoftired—outattendants,\"Idowishshewouldgetwell——orsomething\"？Personswhoareshutupinthatway,confinedtotheirchambers,sometimestotheirbeds,haveaverysmallamountofvitalexpenditure,andwearoutverylittleoftheirlivingsubstance。Theyarelikelampswithhalftheirwickspickeddown,andwillcontinuetoburnwhenotherlampshaveusedupalltheiroil。Aninsuranceofficemightmakemoneybytakingnorisksexceptonlivesofpersonssufferingfrommortaldisease。ItisonthisprincipleofeconomizingthepowersoflifethataveryeminentAmericanphysician,——Dr。WeirMitchell,amanofgenius,——hasfoundedhistreatmentofcertaincasesofnervousexhaustion。
WhathaveIgottosayabouttemperance,theuseofanimalfood,andsoforth？Thesearequestionsaskedme。Naturehasprovedawiseteacher,asIthink,inmyowncase。TheolderIgrow,thelessuseImakeofalcoholicstimulants。Infact,Ihardlymeddlewiththematall,exceptaglassortwoofchampagneoccasionally。Ifindthatbyfarthebestborneofalldrinkscontainingalcohol。Idonotsupposemyexperiencecanbethefoundationofauniversalrule。Dr。
Holyoke,wholivedtobeahundred,usedhabitually,inmoderatequantities,amixtureofcider,water,andrum。Ithink,asonegrowsolder,lessfood,especiallylessanimalfood,isrequired。
Butoldpeoplehavearighttobeepicures,iftheycanaffordit。
Thepleasuresofthepalateareamongthelastgratificationsofthesensesallowedthem。Webeginlifeaslittlecannibals,——feedingonthefleshandbloodofourmothers。Werangethroughallthevegetableandanimalproducts,ofnature,andIsuppose,ifthesecondchildhoodcouldreturntothefoodofthefirst,itmightproveawholesomediet。
WhatdoIsaytosmoking？Icannotgrudgeanoldmanhispipe,butI
thinktobaccooftendoesagooddealofharmtothehealth,——totheeyesespecially,tothenervoussystemgenerally,producingheadache,palpitation,andtrembling。Imyselfgaveitupmanyyearsago。
Philosophicallyspeaking,Ithinkself—narcotizationandself—
alcoholizationareratherignoblesubstitutesforundisturbedself—
consciousnessandunfetteredself—control。
Hereisanotherofthosebrain—tappingletters,ofsimilarcharacter,whichIhavenoobjectiontoansweringatmyowntimeandintheplacewhichbestsuitsme。Asthequestionsmustbesupposedtobeaskedwithapurelyscientificandphilanthropicpurpose,itcanmakelittledifferencewhenandwheretheyareanswered。Formyself,I
preferourowntea—tabletothesymposiatowhichIamofteninvited。
Idonotquarrelwiththosewhoinvitetheirfriendstoabanquettowhichmanystrangersareexpectedtocontribute。Itisaveryeasyandpleasantwayofgivinganentertainmentatlittlecostandwithnoresponsibility。Somebodyhasbeenwritingtomeabout\"OatmealandLiterature,\"andsomebodyelsewantstoknowwhetherIhavefoundcharacterinfluencedbydiet;alsowhether,inmyopinion,oatmealispreferabletopieasanAmericannationalfood。
Inanswertothesequestions,IshouldsaythatIhavemybeliefsandprejudices;butifIwerepressedhardformyproofsoftheircorrectness,Ishouldmakebutapoorshowinthewitness—box。MostassuredlyIdobelievethatbodyandmindaremuchinfluencedbythekindoffoodhabituallydependedupon。Iampersuadedthatatooexclusivelyporcinedietgivesabristlycharactertothebeardandhair,whichisborrowedfromtheanimalwhosetissuesthesestiff—
beardedcompatriotsofourshavetoolargelyassimilated。Icanneverstrayamongthevillagepeopleofourwindycapeswithoutnowandthencominguponahumanbeingwholooksasifhehadbeensplit,salted,anddried,likethesalt—fishwhichhasbuiltuphisaridorganism。Ifthebodyismodifiedbythefoodwhichnourishesit,themindandcharacterverycertainlywillbemodifiedbyitalso。
Weknowenoughoftheircloseconnectionwitheachothertobesureofthat,withoutanystatisticalobservationstoproveit。
Doyoureallywanttoknow\"whetheroatmealispreferabletopieasanAmericannationalfood\"？IsupposethebestanswerIcangivetoyourquestionistotellyouwhatismyownpractice。Oatmealinthemorning,asanarchitectlaysabedofconcretetoformabaseforhissuperstructure。PiewhenIcangetit;thatis,ofthegenuinesort,forIamnotpatrioticenoughtothinkveryhighlyofthearticlenamedaftertheFatherofhisCountry,whowasfirstinwar,firstinpeace,——notfirstinpies,accordingtomystandard。
Thereisaveryoddprejudiceagainstpieasanarticleofdiet。Itiscommontoheareveryformofbodilydegeneracyandinfirmityattributedtothisparticularfavoritefood。Iseenoreasonorsenseinit。Mr。Emersonbelievedinpie,andwasalmostindignantwhenafellow—travellerrefusedthesliceheofferedhim。\"Why,Mr。________,\"saidbe,\"whatispiemadefor！\"IfeveryGreenMountainboyhasnoteatenathousandtimeshisweightinapple,pumpkin,squash,andmincepie,callmeadumpling。AndColonelEthanAllenwasoneofthem,——EthanAllen,who,astheyusedtosay,couldwrenchofftheheadofawroughtnailwithhisteeth。
Ifyoumeantokeepaswellaspossible,thelessyouthinkaboutyourhealththebetter。Youknowenoughnottoeatordrinkwhatyouhavefounddoesnotagreewithyou。Yououghttoknowenoughnottoexposeyourselfneedlesslytodraughts。Ifyoutakea\"constitutional,\"walkwiththewindwhenyoucan,andtakeaclosedcaragainstitifyoucangetone。Walkingagainstthewindisoneofthemostdangerouskindsofexposure,ifyouaresensitivetocold。ButexceptafewsimplerulessuchasIhavejustgiven,letyourhealthtakecareofitselfsolongasitbehavesdecently。Ifyouwanttobesurenottoreachthreescoreandtwenty,getalittleboxofhomoeopathicpelletsandalittlebookofhomeopathicprescriptions。Ihadapoorfriendwhofellintothatway,andbecameatlastaregularHahnemaniac。Heleftaboxofhislittlejokers,whichatlastcameintomyhands。Thepoorfellowhadcultivatedsymptomsasotherpeoplecultivaterosesorchrysanthemums。Whataluxuryofchoicehisimaginationpresentedtohim！Whenonewatchesforsymptoms,everyorganinthebodyisreadytoputinitsclaim。Byandbyarealillnessattackedhim,andtheboxoflittlepelletswasshutup,toministertohisfanciedevilsnolonger。
Letmetellyouonething。IthinkifpatientsandphysicianswereinthehabitofrecognizingthefactIamgoingtomention,bothwouldbegainers。ThelawIrefertomustbefamiliartoallobservingphysicians,andtoallintelligentpersonswhohaveobservedtheirownbodilyandmentalconditions。Thisisthecurveofhealth。Itisamistaketosupposethatthenormalstateofhealthisrepresentedbyastraighthorizontalline。Independentlyofthewell—knowncauseswhichraiseordepressthestandardofvitality,thereseemstobe,——IthinkImayventuretosaythereis,——arhythmicundulationintheflowofthevitalforce。The\"dynamo\"
whichfurnishestheworkingpowersofconsciousnessandactionhasitsannual,itsmonthly,itsdiurnalwaves,evenitsmomentaryripples,inthecurrentitfurnishes。Therearegreaterandlessercurvesinthemovementofeveryday\'slife,——aseriesofascendinganddescendingmovements,aperiodicitydependingontheverynatureoftheforceatworkinthelivingorganism。Thuswehaveourgoodseasonsandourbadseasons,ourgooddaysandourbaddays,lifeclimbinganddescendinginlongorshortundulations,whichIhavecalledthecurveofhealth。
>Fromthisfactspringagreatproportionoftheerrorsofmedicalpractice。Onitarebasedthedelusionsofthevariousshadowysystemswhichimposethemselvesontheignorantandhalf—learnedpublicasbranchesor\"schools\"ofscience。Aremedytakenatthetimeoftheascentinthecurveofhealthisfoundsuccessful。Thesameremedytakenwhilethecurveisinitsdownwardmovementprovesafailure。
Solongasthisbiologicallawexists,solongthecharlatanwillkeephisholdontheignorantpublic。Solongasitexists,thewisestpractitionerwillbeliabletodeceivehimselfabouttheeffectofwhathecallsandlovestothinkarehisremedies。Long—
continuedandsagaciousobservationwilltosomeextentundeceivehim;butwereitnotforthehappyillusionthathisuselessorevendeleteriousdrugsweredoinggoodservice,manyapractitionerwouldgiveuphiscallingforoneinwhichhecouldbemorecertainthathewasreallybeingusefultothesubjectsofhisprofessionaldealings。
Formyself,Ishouldpreferaphysicianofasanguinetemperament,whohadafirmbeliefinhimselfandhismethods。Idonotwonderatallthatthepublicsupportawholecommunityofpretenderswhoshowtheportraitsofthepatientstheyhave\"cured。\"Thebestphysicianswilltellyouthat,thoughmanypatientsgetwellundertheirtreatment,theyrarelycureanybody。Ifyouaretoldalsothatthebestphysicianhasmanymorepatientsdieonhishandsthantheworstofhisfellow—practitioners,youmayaddthesetwostatementstoyourbundleofparadoxes,andiftheypuzzleyouIwillexplainthematsomefuturetime。
[Itakethisopportunityofcorrectingastatementnowgoingtheroundsofthemedicalandprobablyotherperiodicals。In\"TheJournaloftheAmericanMedicalAssociation,\"datedApril26,1890,publishedatChicago,Iamreported,inquotationmarks,assaying,\"Givemeopium,wine,andmilk,andIwillcurealldiseasestowhichfleshisheir。\"
Inthefirstplace,IneversaidIwillcure,orcancure,orwouldorcouldcure,orhadcuredanydisease。Myveneratedinstructor,Dr。JamesJackson,taughtmenevertousethatexpression。Curomeans,Itakecareof,heusedtosay,andinthatsense,ifyoumeannothingmore,itisproperlyemployed。So,intheamphitheatreoftheEcoledeMedecine,IusedtoreadthewordsofAmbroisePare,Jelepansay,Dieuleguarist。\"（Idressedhiswound,andGodcuredhim。）Next,Iamnotinthehabitoftalkingabout\"thediseasestowhichfleshisheir。\"Theexpressionhasbecomerathertoofamiliarforrepetition,andbelongstotherhetoricofotherlatitudes。And,lastly,Ihavesaidsomeplainthings,perhapssomesharpones,abouttheabuseofdrugsandthelimitednumberofvitallyimportantremedies,butIamnotsoignorantlypresumptuousastomakethefoolishstatementfalselyattributedtome。]