第36章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Women in Love",免费读到尾

  `Ofcourse,\'heresumed,`Iwouldn\'tnothavehadit!It\'sacompleteexperience。Andshe\'sawonderfulwoman。But——howIhatehersomewhere!It\'scurious——\'

  Birkinlookedathim,athisstrange,scarcelyconsciousface。Geraldseemedblankbeforehisownwords。

  `Butyou\'vehadenoughnow?\'saidBirkin。`Youhavehadyourexperience。

  Whyworkonanoldwound?\'

  `Oh,\'saidGerald,`Idon\'tknow。It\'snotfinished——\'

  Andthetwowalkedon。

  `I\'velovedyou,aswellasGudrun,don\'tforget,\'saidBirkinbitterly。

  Geraldlookedathimstrangely,abstractedly。

  `Haveyou?\'hesaid,withicyscepticism。`Ordoyouthinkyouhave?\'

  Hewashardlyresponsibleforwhathesaid。

  Thesledgecame。Gudrundismountedandtheyallmadetheirfarewell。

  Theywantedtogoapart,allofthem。Birkintookhisplace,andthesledgedroveawayleavingGudrunandGeraldstandingonthesnow,waving。SomethingfrozeBirkin\'sheart,seeingthemstandingthereintheisolationofthesnow,growingsmallerandmoreisolated。

  WomenInLove:Chapter30CHAPTERXXXSnowedUpWHENURSULAandBirkinweregone,GudrunfeltherselffreeinhercontestwithGerald。Astheygrewmoreusedtoeachother,heseemedtopressuponhermoreandmore。Atfirstshecouldmanagehim,sothatherownwillwasalwaysleftfree。

  Butverysoon,hebegantoignoreherfemaletactics,hedroppedhisrespectforherwhimsandherprivacies,hebegantoexerthisownwillblindly,withoutsubmittingtohers。

  Alreadyavitalconflicthadsetin,whichfrightenedthemboth。Buthewasalone,whilstalreadyshehadbeguntocastroundforexternalresource。

  WhenUrsulahadgone,Gudrunfeltherownexistencehadbecomestarkandelemental。Shewentandcrouchedaloneinherbedroom,lookingoutofthewindowatthebig,flashingstars。Infrontwasthefaintshadowofthemountain—knot。Thatwasthepivot。Shefeltstrangeandinevitable,asifshewerecentreduponthepivotofallexistence,therewasnofurtherreality。

  PresentlyGeraldopenedthedoor。Sheknewhewouldnotbelongbeforehecame。Shewasrarelyalone,hepresseduponherlikeafrost,deadeningher。

  `Areyoualoneinthedark?\'hesaid。Andshecouldtellbyhistoneheresentedit,heresentedthisisolationshehaddrawnroundherself。

  Yet,feelingstaticandinevitable,shewaskindtowardshim。

  `Wouldyouliketolightthecandle?\'sheasked。

  Hedidnotanswer,butcameandstoodbehindher,inthedarkness。

  `Look,\'shesaid,`atthatlovelystarupthere。Doyouknowitsname?\'

  Hecrouchedbesideher,tolookthroughthelowwindow。

  `No,\'hesaid。`Itisveryfine。\'

  `Isn\'titbeautiful!Doyounoticehowitdartsdifferentcolouredfires——itflashesreallysuperbly——\'

  Theyremainedinsilence。Withamute,heavygesturesheputherhandonhisknee,andtookhishand。

  `AreyouregrettingUrsula?\'heasked。

  `No,notatall,\'shesaid。Then,inaslowmood,sheasked:

  `Howmuchdoyouloveme?\'

  Hestiffenedhimselffurtheragainsther。

  `HowmuchdoyouthinkIdo?\'heasked。

  `Idon\'tknow,\'shereplied。

  `Butwhatisyouropinion?\'heasked。

  Therewasapause。Atlength,inthedarkness,camehervoice,hardandindifferent:

  `Verylittleindeed,\'shesaidcoldly,almostflippant。

  Hisheartwenticyatthesoundofhervoice。

  `Whydon\'tIloveyou?\'heasked,asifadmittingthetruthofheraccusation,yethatingherforit。

  `Idon\'tknowwhyyoudon\'t——I\'vebeengoodtoyou。Youwereinafearfulstatewhenyoucametome。\'

  Herheartwasbeatingtosuffocateher,yetshewasstrongandunrelenting。

  `WhenwasIinafearfulstate?\'heasked。

  `Whenyoufirstcametome。Ihadtotakepityonyou。Butitwasneverlove。\'

  Itwasthatstatement`Itwasneverlove,\'whichsoundedinhisearswithmadness。

  `Whymustyourepeatitsooften,thatthereisnolove?\'hesaidinavoicestrangledwithrage。

  `Wellyoudon\'tthinkyoulove,doyou?\'sheasked。

  Hewassilentwithcoldpassionofanger。

  `Youdon\'tthinkyoucanloveme,doyou?\'sherepeatedalmostwithasneer。

  `No,\'hesaid。

  `Youknowyouneverhavelovedme,don\'tyou?\'

  `Idon\'tknowwhatyoumeanbytheword`love,\'hereplied。

  `Yes,youdo。Youknowallrightthatyouhaveneverlovedme。Haveyou,doyouthink?\'

  `No,\'hesaid,promptedbysomebarrenspiritoftruthfulnessandobstinacy。

  `Andyouneverwillloveme,\'shesaidfinally,`willyou?\'

  Therewasadiaboliccoldnessinher,toomuchtobear。

  `No,\'hesaid。

  `Then,\'shereplied,`whathaveyouagainstme!\'

  Hewassilentincold,frightenedrageanddespair。`IfonlyIcouldkillher,\'hisheartwaswhisperingrepeatedly。`IfonlyIcouldkillher——Ishouldbefree。\'

  ItseemedtohimthatdeathwastheonlyseveringofthisGordianknot。

  `Whydoyoutortureme?\'hesaid。

  Sheflungherarmsroundhisneck。

  `Ah,Idon\'twanttotortureyou,\'shesaidpityingly,asifshewerecomfortingachild。Theimpertinencemadehisveinsgocold,hewasinsensible。

  Sheheldherarmsroundhisneck,inatriumphofpity。Andherpityforhimwasascoldasstone,itsdeepestmotivewashateofhim,andfearofhispoweroverher,whichshemustalwayscounterfoil。

  `Sayyouloveme,\'shepleaded。`Sayyouwilllovemeforever——won\'tyou——won\'tyou?\'

  Butitwashervoiceonlythatcoaxedhim。Hersenseswereentirelyapartfromhim,coldanddestructiveofhim。Itwasheroverbearingwillthatinsisted。

  `Won\'tyousayyou\'lllovemealways?\'shecoaxed。`Sayit,evenifitisn\'ttrue——sayitGerald,do。\'

  `Iwillloveyoualways,\'herepeated,inrealagony,forcingthewordsout。

  Shegavehimaquickkiss。

  `Fancyyouractuallyhavingsaidit,\'shesaidwithatouchofraillery。

  Hestoodasifhehadbeenbeaten。

  `Trytolovemealittlemore,andtowantmealittleless,\'shesaid,inahalfcontemptuous,halfcoaxingtone。

  Thedarknessseemedtobeswayinginwavesacrosshismind,greatwavesofdarknessplungingacrosshismind。Itseemedtohimhewasdegradedattheveryquick,madeofnoaccount。

  `Youmeanyoudon\'twantme?\'hesaid。

  `Youaresoinsistent,andthereissolittlegraceinyou,solittlefineness。Youaresocrude。Youbreakme——youonlywasteme——itishorribletome。\'

  `Horribletoyou?\'herepeated。

  `Yes。Don\'tyouthinkImighthavearoomtomyself,nowUrsulahasgone?Youcansayyouwantadressingroom。\'

  `Youdoasyoulike——youcanleavealtogetherifyoulike,\'hemanagedtoarticulate。

  `Yes,Iknowthat,\'shereplied。`Socanyou。Youcanleavemewheneveryoulike——withoutnoticeeven。\'

  Thegreattidesofdarknesswereswingingacrosshismind,hecouldhardlystandupright。Aterriblewearinessovercamehim,hefelthemustlieonthefloor。Droppingoffhisclothes,hegotintobed,andlaylikeamansuddenlyovercomebydrunkenness,thedarknessliftingandplungingasifhewerelyinguponablack,giddysea。Helaystillinthisstrange,horrificreelingforsometime,purelyunconscious。

  Atlengthsheslippedfromherownbedandcameovertohim。Heremainedrigid,hisbacktoher。Hewasallbutunconscious。

  Sheputherarmsroundhisterrifying,insentientbody,andlaidhercheekagainsthishardshoulder。

  `Gerald,\'shewhispered。`Gerald。\'

  Therewasnochangeinhim。Shecaughthimagainsther。Shepressedherbreastsagainsthisshoulders,shekissedhisshoulder,throughthesleepingjacket。Hermindwondered,overhisrigid,unlivingbody。Shewasbewildered,andinsistent,onlyherwillwassetforhimtospeaktoher。

  `Gerald,mydear!\'shewhispered,bendingoverhim,kissinghisear。

  Herwarmbreathplaying,flyingrhythmicallyoverhisear,seemedtorelaxthetension。Shecouldfeelhisbodygraduallyrelaxingalittle,losingitsterrifying,unnaturalrigidity。Herhandsclutchedhislimbs,hismuscles,goingoverhimspasmodically。

  Thehotbloodbegantoflowagainthroughhisveins,hislimbsrelaxed。

  `Turnroundtome,\'shewhispered,forlornwithinsistenceandtriumph。

  Soatlasthewasgivenagain,warmandflexible。Heturnedandgatheredherinhisarms。Andfeelinghersoftagainsthim,soperfectlyandwondrouslysoftandrecipient,hisarmstightenedonher。Shewasasifcrushed,powerlessinhim。Hisbrainseemedhardandinvinciblenowlikeajewel,therewasnoresistinghim。

  Hispassionwasawfultoher,tenseandghastly,andimpersonal,likeadestruction,ultimate。Shefeltitwouldkillher。Shewasbeingkilled。

  `MyGod,myGod,\'shecried,inanguish,inhisembrace,feelingherlifebeingkilledwithinher。Andwhenhewaskissingher,soothingher,herbreathcameslowly,asifshewerereallyspent,dying。

  `ShallIdie,shallIdie?\'sherepeatedtoherself。

  Andinthenight,andinhim,therewasnoanswertothequestion。

  Andyet,nextday,thefragmentofherwhichwasnotdestroyedremainedintactandhostile,shedidnotgoaway,sheremainedtofinishtheholiday,admittingnothing。Hescarcelyeverleftheralone,butfollowedherlikeashadow,hewaslikeadoomuponher,acontinual`thoushalt,\'`thoushaltnot。\'Sometimesitwashewhoseemedstrongest,whistshewasalmostgone,creepingneartheearthlikeaspentwind;sometimesitwasthereverse。

  Butalwaysitwasthiseternalsee—saw,onedestroyedthattheothermightexist,oneratifiedbecausetheotherwasnulled。

  `Intheend,\'shesaidtoherself,`Ishallgoawayfromhim。\'

  `Icanbefreeofher,\'hesaidtohimselfinhisparoxysmsofsuffering。

  Andhesethimselftobefree。Heevenpreparedtogoaway,toleaveherinthelurch。Butforthefirsttimetherewasaflawinhiswill。

  `WhereshallIgo?\'heaskedhimself。

  `Can\'tyoubeself—sufficient?\'herepliedtohimself,puttinghimselfuponhispride。

  `Self—sufficient!\'herepeated。

  ItseemedtohimthatGudrunwassufficientuntoherself,closedroundandcompleted,likeathinginacase。Inthecalm,staticreasonofhissoul,herecognisedthis,andadmitteditwasherright,tobeclosedrounduponherself,self—complete,withoutdesire。Herealisedit,headmittedit,itonlyneededonelasteffortonhisownpart,towinforhimselfthesamecompleteness。Heknewthatitonlyneededoneconvulsionofhiswillforhimtobeabletoturnuponhimselfalso,tocloseuponhimselfasastonefixesuponitself,andisimpervious,self—completed,athingisolated。

  Thisknowledgethrewhimintoaterriblechaos。Because,howevermuchhemightmentallywilltobeimmuneandself—complete,thedesireforthisstatewaslacking,andhecouldnotcreateit。Hecouldseethat,toexistatall,hemustbeperfectlyfreeofGudrun,leaveherifshewantedtobeleft,demandnothingofher,havenoclaimuponher。

  Butthen,tohavenoclaimuponher,hemuststandbyhimself,insheernothingness。Andhisbrainturnedtonoughtattheidea。Itwasastateofnothingness。Ontheotherhand,hemightgivein,andfawntoher。Or,finally,hemightkillher。Orhemightbecomejustindifferent,purposeless,dissipated,momentaneous。Buthisnaturewastooserious,notgayenoughorsubtleenoughformockinglicentiousness。

  Astrangerenthadbeentorninhim;likeavictimthatistornopenandgiventotheheavens,sohehadbeentornapartandgiventoGudrun。

  Howshouldhecloseagain?Thiswound,thisstrange,infinitely—sensitiveopeningofhissoul,wherehewasexposed,likeanopenflower,toalltheuniverse,andinwhichhewasgiventohiscomplement,theother,theunknown,thiswound,thisdisclosure,thisunfoldingofhisowncovering,leavinghimincomplete,limited,unfinished,likeanopenflowerunderthesky,thiswashiscruellestjoy。Whythenshouldheforegoit?Whyshouldhecloseupandbecomeimpervious,immune,likeapartialthinginasheath,whenhehadbrokenforth,likeaseedthathasgerminated,toissueforthinbeing,embracingtheunrealisedheavens。

  Hewouldkeeptheunfinishedblissofhisownyearningeventhroughthetorturesheinflicteduponhim。Astrangeobstinacypossessedhim。

  Hewouldnotgoawayfromherwhatevershesaidordid。Astrange,deathlyyearningcarriedhimalongwithher。Shewasthedeterminatinginfluenceofhisverybeing,thoughshetreatedhimwithcontempt,repeatedrebuffs,anddenials,stillhewouldneverbegone,sinceinbeingnearher,even,hefeltthequickening,thegoingforthinhim,therelease,theknowledgeofhisownlimitationandthemagicofthepromise,aswellasthemysteryofhisowndestructionandannihilation。

  Shetorturedtheopenheartofhimevenasheturnedtoher。Andshewastorturedherself。Itmayhavebeenherwillwasstronger。Shefelt,withhorror,asifhetoreatthebudofherheart,toreitopen,likeanirreverentpersistentbeing。Likeaboywhopullsoffafly\'swings,ortearsopenabudtoseewhatisintheflower,hetoreatherprivacy,atherverylife,hewoulddestroyherasanimmaturebud,tornopen,isdestroyed。

  Shemightopentowardshim,alongwhilehence,inherdreams,whenshewasapurespirit。Butnowshewasnottobeviolatedandruined。Sheclosedagainsthimfiercely。

  Theyclimbedtogether,atevening,upthehighslope,toseethesunset。

  Inthefinelybreathing,keenwindtheystoodandwatchedtheyellowsunsinkincrimsonanddisappear。Thenintheeastthepeaksandridgesglowedwithlivingrose,incandescentlikeimmortalflowersagainstabrown—purplesky,amiracle,whilstdownbelowtheworldwasabluishshadow,andabove,likeanannunciation,hoveredarosytransportinmid—air。

  Toheritwassobeautiful,itwasadelirium,shewantedtogathertheglowing,eternalpeakstoherbreast,anddie。Hesawthem,sawtheywerebeautiful。Buttherearosenoclamourinhisbreast,onlyabitternessthatwasvisionaryinitself。Hewishedthepeaksweregreyandunbeautiful,sothatsheshouldnotgethersupportfromthem。Whydidshebetraythetwoofthemsoterribly,inembracingtheglowoftheevening?Whydidsheleavehimstandingthere,withtheice—windblowingthroughhisheart,likedeath,togratifyherselfamongtherosysnow—tips?

  `Whatdoesthetwilightmatter?\'hesaid。`Whydoyougrovelbeforeit?Isitsoimportanttoyou?\'

  Shewincedinviolationandinfury。

  `Goaway,\'shecried,`andleavemetoit。Itisbeautiful,beautiful,\'

  shesanginstrange,rhapsodictones。`ItisthemostbeautifulthingI

  haveeverseeninmylife。Don\'ttrytocomebetweenitandme。Takeyourselfaway,youareoutofplace——\'

  Hestoodbackalittle,andleftherstandingthere,statue—like,transportedintothemysticglowingeast。Alreadytherosewasfading,largewhitestarswereflashingout。Hewaited。Hewouldforegoeverythingbuttheyearning。

  `ThatwasthemostperfectthingIhaveeverseen,\'shesaidincold,brutaltones,whenatlastsheturnedroundtohim。`Itamazesmethatyoushouldwanttodestroyit。Ifyoucan\'tseeityourself,whytrytodebarme?\'Butinreality,hehaddestroyeditforher,shewasstrainingafteradeadeffect。

  `Oneday,\'hesaid,softly,lookingupather,`Ishalldestroyyou,asyoustandlookingatthesunset;becauseyouaresuchaliar。\'

  Therewasasoft,voluptuouspromisetohimselfinthewords。Shewaschilledbutarrogant。

  `Ha!\'shesaid。`Iamnotafraidofyourthreats!\'Shedeniedherselftohim,shekeptherroomrigidlyprivatetoherself。Buthewaitedon,inacuriouspatience,belongingtohisyearningforher。

  `Intheend,\'hesaidtohimselfwithrealvoluptuouspromise,`whenitreachesthatpoint,Ishalldoawaywithher。\'Andhetrembleddelicatelyineverylimb,inanticipation,ashetrembledinhismostviolentaccessesofpassionateapproachtoher,tremblingwithtoomuchdesire。

  ShehadacurioussortofallegiancewithLoerke,allthewhile,now,somethinginsidiousandtraitorous。Geraldknewofit。Butintheunnaturalstateofpatience,andtheunwillingnesstohardenhimselfagainsther,inwhichhefoundhimself,hetooknonotice,althoughhersoftkindlinesstotheotherman,whomhehatedasanoxiousinsect,madehimshiveragainwithanaccessofthestrangeshudderingthatcameoverhimrepeatedly。

  Heleftheraloneonlywhenhewentskiing,asportheloved,andwhichshedidnotpractise。Theheseemedtosweepoutoflife,tobeaprojectileintothebeyond。Andoften,whenhewentaway,shetalkedtothelittleGermansculptor。Theyhadaninvariabletopic,intheirart。

  Theywerealmostofthesameideas。HehatedMestrovic,wasnotsatisfiedwiththeFuturists,helikedtheWestAfricanwoodenfigures,theAztecart,MexicanandCentralAmerican。Hesawthegrotesque,andacurioussortofmechanicalmotionintoxicatedhim,aconfusioninnature。Theyhadacuriousgamewitheachother,GudrunandLoerke,ofinfinitesuggestivity,strangeandleering,asiftheyhadsomeesotericunderstandingoflife,thattheyalonewereinitiatedintothefearfulcentralsecrets,thattheworlddarednotknow。Theirwholecorrespondencewasinastrange,barelycomprehensiblesuggestivity,theykindledthemselvesatthesubtlelustoftheEgyptiansortheMexicans。Thewholegamewasoneofsubtleinter—suggestivity,andtheywantedtokeepitontheplaneofsuggestion。Fromtheirverbalandphysicalnuancestheygotthehighestsatisfactioninthenerves,fromaqueerinterchangeofhalf—suggestedideas,looks,expressionsandgestures,whichwerequiteintolerable,thoughincomprehensible,toGerald。Hehadnotermsinwhichtothinkoftheircommerce,histermsweremuchtoogross。

  Thesuggestionofprimitiveartwastheirrefuge,andtheinnermysteriesofsensationtheirobjectofworship。ArtandLifeweretothemtheRealityandtheUnreality。

  `Ofcourse,\'saidGudrun,`lifedoesn\'treallymatter——itisone\'sartwhichiscentral。Whatonedoesinone\'slifehaspeuderapport,itdoesn\'tsignifymuch。\'

  `Yes,thatisso,exactly,\'repliedthesculptor。`Whatonedoesinone\'sart,thatisthebreathofone\'sbeing。Whatonedoesinone\'slife,thatisabagatellefortheoutsiderstofussabout。\'

  ItwascuriouswhatasenseofelationandfreedomGudrunfoundinthiscommunication。Shefeltestablishedforever。OfcourseGeraldwasbagatelle。

  Lovewasoneofthetemporalthingsinherlife,exceptinsofarasshewasanartist。ShethoughtofCleopatra——Cleopatramusthavebeenanartist;shereapedtheessentialfromaman,sheharvestedtheultimatesensation,andthrewawaythehusk;andMaryStuart,andthegreatRachel,pantingwithherloversafterthetheatre,theseweretheexotericexponentsoflove。Afterall,whatwastheloverbutfuelforthetransportofthissubtleknowledge,forafemaleart,theartofpure,perfectknowledgeinsensuousunderstanding。

  OneeveningGeraldwasarguingwithLoerkeaboutItalyandTripoli。

  TheEnglishmanwasinastrange,inflammablestate,theGermanwasexcited。

  Itwasacontestofwords,butitmeantaconflictofspiritbetweenthetwomen。AndallthewhileGudruncouldseeinGeraldanarrogantEnglishcontemptforaforeigner。AlthoughGeraldwasquivering,hiseyesflashing,hisfaceflushed,inhisargumenttherewasabrusqueness,asavagecontemptinhismanner,thatmadeGudrun\'sbloodflareup,andmadeLoerkekeenandmortified。ForGeraldcamedownlikeasledge—hammerwithhisassertions,anythingthelittleGermansaidwasmerelycontemptiblerubbish。

  AtlastLoerketurnedtoGudrun,raisinghishandsinhelplessirony,ashrugofironicaldismissal,somethingappealingandchild—like。

  `Sehensie,gnadigeFrau——\'hebegan。

  `BittesagenSienichtimmer,gnadigeFrau,\'criedGudrun,hereyesflashing,hercheeksburning。ShelookedlikeavividMedusa。Hervoicewasloudandclamorous,theotherpeopleintheroomwerestartled。

  `Pleasedon\'tcallmeMrsCrich,\'shecriedaloud。

  Thename,inLoerke\'smouthparticularly,hadbeenanintolerablehumiliationandconstraintuponher,thesemanydays。

  Thetwomenlookedatherinamazement。Geraldwentwhiteatthecheek—bones。

  `WhatshallIsay,then?\'askedLoerke,withsoft,mockinginsinuation。

  `SagenSienurnichtdas,\'shemuttered,hercheeksflushedcrimson。

  `Notthat,atleast。\'

  Shesaw,bythedawninglookonLoerke\'sface,thathehadunderstood。

  ShewasnotMrsCrich!So——o——,thatexplainedagreatdeal。

  `SollichFrauleinsagen?\'heasked,malevolently。

  `Iamnotmarried,\'shesaid,withsomehauteur。

  Herheartwasflutteringnow,beatinglikeabewilderedbird。Sheknewshehaddealtacruelwound,andshecouldnotbearit。

  Geraldsaterect,perfectlystill,hisfacepaleandcalm,likethefaceofastatue。Hewasunawareofher,orofLoerkeoranybody。Hesatperfectlystill,inanunalterablecalm。Loerke,meanwhile,wascrouchingandglancingupfromunderhisduckedhead。

  Gudrunwastorturedforsomethingtosay,torelievethesuspense。Shetwistedherfaceinasmile,andglancedknowingly,almostsneering,atGerald。

  `Truthisbest,\'shesaidtohim,withagrimace。

  Butnowagainshewasunderhisdomination;now,becauseshehaddealthimthisblow;becauseshehaddestroyedhim,andshedidnotknowhowhehadtakenit。Shewatchedhim。Hewasinterestingtoher。ShehadlostherinterestinLoerke。

  Geraldroseatlength,andwentoverinaleisurelystillmovement,totheProfessor。ThetwobeganaconversationonGoethe。

  ShewasratherpiquedbythesimplicityofGerald\'sdemeanourthisevening。

  Hedidnotseemangryordisgusted,onlyhelookedcuriouslyinnocentandpure,reallybeautiful。Sometimesitcameuponhim,thislookofcleardistance,anditalwaysfascinatedher。

  Shewaited,troubled,throughouttheevening。Shethoughthewouldavoidher,orgivesomesign。Buthespoketohersimplyandunemotionally,ashewouldtoanyoneelseintheroom。Acertainpeace,anabstractionpossessedhissoul。

  Shewenttohisroom,hotly,violentlyinlovewithhim。Hewassobeautifulandinaccessible。Hekissedher,hewasalovertoher。Andshehadextremepleasureofhim。Buthedidnotcometo,heremainedremoteandcandid,unconscious。Shewantedtospeaktohim。Butthisinnocent,beautifulstateofunconsciousnessthathadcomeuponhimpreventedher。Shefelttormentedanddark。

  Inthemorning,however,helookedatherwithalittleaversion,somehorrorandsomehatreddarkeningintohiseyes。Shewithdrewontoheroldground。Butstillhewouldnotgatherhimselftogether,againsther。

  Loerkewaswaitingforhernow。Thelittleartist,isolatedinhisowncompleteenvelope,feltthathereatlastwasawomanfromwhomhecouldgetsomething。Hewasuneasyallthewhile,waitingtotalkwithher,subtlycontrivingtobenearher。Herpresencefilledhimwithkeennessandexcitement,hegravitatedcunninglytowardsher,asifshehadsomeunseenforceofattraction。

  Hewasnotintheleastdoubtfulofhimself,asregardsGerald。Geraldwasoneoftheoutsiders。Loerkeonlyhatedhimforbeingrichandproudandoffineappearance。Allthesethings,however,riches,prideofsocialstanding,handsomephysique,wereexternals。WhenitcametotherelationwithawomansuchasGudrun,he,Loerke,hadanapproachandapowerthatGeraldneverdreamedof。

  HowshouldGeraldhopetosatisfyawomanofGudrun\'scalibre?Didhethinkthatprideormasterfulwillorphysicalstrengthwouldhelphim?

  Loerkeknewasecretbeyondthesethings。Thegreatestpoweristheonethatissubtleandadjustsitself,notonewhichblindlyattacks。Andhe,Loerke,hadunderstandingwhereGeraldwasacalf。He,Loerke,couldpenetrateintodepthsfaroutofGerald\'sknowledge。Geraldwasleftbehindlikeapostulantintheante—roomofthistempleofmysteries,thiswoman。ButheLoerke,couldhenotpenetrateintotheinnerdarkness,findthespiritofthewomaninitsinnerrecess,andwrestlewithitthere,thecentralserpentthatiscoiledatthecoreoflife。

  Whatwasit,afterall,thatawomanwanted?Wasitmeresocialeffect,fulfilmentofambitioninthesocialworld,inthecommunityofmankind?

  Wasitevenaunioninloveandgoodness?Didshewant`goodness\'?WhobutafoolwouldacceptthisofGudrun?Thiswasbutthestreetviewofherwants。Crossthethreshold,andyoufoundhercompletely,completelycynicalaboutthesocialworldanditsadvantages。Onceinsidethehouseofhersoulandtherewasapungentatmosphereofcorrosion,aninflameddarknessofsensation,andavivid,subtle,criticalconsciousness,thatsawtheworlddistorted,horrific。

  Whatthen,whatnext?Wasitsheerblindforceofpassionthatwouldsatisfyhernow?Notthis,butthesubtlethrillsofextremesensationinreduction。Itwasanunbrokenwillreactingagainstherunbrokenwillinamyriadsubtlethrillsofreduction,thelastsubtleactivitiesofanalysisandbreakingdown,carriedoutinthedarknessofher,whilsttheoutsideform,theindividual,wasutterlyunchanged,evensentimentalinitsposes。

  Butbetweentwoparticularpeople,anytwopeopleonearth,therangeofpuresensationalexperienceislimited。Theclimaxofsensualreaction,oncereachedinanydirection,isreachedfinally,thereisnogoingon。

  Thereisonlyrepetitionpossible,orthegoingapartofthetwoprotagonists,orthesubjugatingoftheonewilltotheother,ordeath。

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