第29章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Women in Love",免费读到尾

  `Andhasn\'titnow?\'askedUrsula。Shewasalwaysangrywhenhetookthistone。

  `No,ithasn\'t。WhenIseethatclear,beautifulchair,andIthinkofEngland,evenJaneAusten\'sEngland——ithadlivingthoughtstounfoldeventhen,andpurehappinessinunfoldingthem。Andnow,wecanonlyfishamongtherubbishheapsfortheremnantsoftheiroldexpression。Thereisnoproductioninusnow,onlysordidandfoulmechanicalness。\'

  `Itisn\'ttrue,\'criedUrsula。`Whymustyoualwayspraisethepast,attheexpenseofthepresent?Really,Idon\'tthinksomuchofJaneAusten\'sEngland。Itwasmaterialisticenough,ifyoulike——\'

  `Itcouldaffordtobematerialistic,\'saidBirkin,`becauseithadthepowertobesomethingother——whichwehaven\'t。Wearematerialisticbecausewehaven\'tthepowertobeanythingelse——tryaswemay,wecan\'tbringoffanythingbutmaterialism:mechanism,theverysoulofmaterialism。\'

  Ursulawassubduedintoangrysilence。Shedidnotheedwhathesaid。

  Shewasrebellingagainstsomethingelse。

  `AndIhateyourpast。I\'msickofit,\'shecried。`IbelieveIevenhatethatoldchair,thoughitisbeautiful。Itisn\'tmysortofbeauty。Iwishithadbeensmashedupwhenitsdaywasover,notlefttopreachthebelovedpasttous。I\'msickofthebelovedpast。\'

  `NotsosickasIamoftheaccursedpresent,\'hesaid。

  `Yes,justthesame。Ihatethepresent——butIdon\'twantthepasttotakeitsplace——Idon\'twantthatoldchair。\'

  Hewasratherangryforamoment。Thenhelookedattheskyshiningbeyondthetowerofthepublicbaths,andheseemedtogetoveritall。

  Helaughed。

  `Allright,\'hesaid,`thenletusnothaveit。I\'msickofitall,too。Atanyrateonecan\'tgoonlivingontheoldbonesofbeauty。\'

  `Onecan\'t,\'shecried。`Idon\'twantoldthings。\'

  `Thetruthis,wedon\'twantthingsatall,\'hereplied。`Thethoughtofahouseandfurnitureofmyownishatefultome。\'

  Thisstartledherforamoment。Thenshereplied:

  `Soitistome。Butonemustlivesomewhere。\'

  `Notsomewhere——anywhere,\'hesaid。`Oneshouldjustliveanywhere——nothaveadefiniteplace。Idon\'twantadefiniteplace。Assoonasyougetaroom,anditiscomplete,youwanttorunfromit。NowmyroomsattheMillarequitecomplete,Iwantthematthebottomofthesea。Itisahorribletyrannyofafixedmilieu,whereeachpieceoffurnitureisacommandment—stone。\'

  Sheclungtohisarmastheywalkedawayfromthemarket。

  `Butwhatarewegoingtodo?\'shesaid。`Wemustlivesomehow。AndIdowantsomebeautyinmysurroundings。Iwantasortofnaturalgrandeureven,splendour。\'

  `You\'llnevergetitinhousesandfurniture——orevenclothes。Housesandfurnitureandclothes,theyarealltermsofanoldbaseworld,adetestablesocietyofman。AndifyouhaveaTudorhouseandold,beautifulfurniture,itisonlythepastperpetuatedontopofyou,horrible。AndifyouhaveaperfectmodernhousedoneforyoubyPoiret,itissomethingelseperpetuatedontopofyou。Itisallhorrible。Itisallpossessions,possessions,bullyingyouandturningyouintoageneralisation。YouhavetobelikeRodin,Michelangelo,andleaveapieceofrawrockunfinishedtoyourfigure。

  Youmustleaveyoursurroundingssketchy,unfinished,sothatyouarenevercontained,neverconfined,neverdominatedfromtheoutside。\'

  Shestoodinthestreetcontemplating。

  `Andwearenevertohaveacompleteplaceofourown——neverahome?\'

  shesaid。

  `PrayGod,inthisworld,no,\'heanswered。

  `Butthere\'sonlythisworld,\'sheobjected。

  Hespreadouthishandswithagestureofindifference。

  `Meanwhile,then,we\'llavoidhavingthingsofourown,\'hesaid。

  `Butyou\'vejustboughtachair,\'shesaid。

  `IcantellthemanIdon\'twantit,\'hereplied。

  Sheponderedagain。Thenaqueerlittlemovementtwitchedherface。

  `No,\'shesaid,`wedon\'twantit。I\'msickofoldthings。\'

  `Newonesaswell,\'hesaid。

  Theyretracedtheirsteps。

  There——infrontofsomefurniture,stoodtheyoungcouple,thewomanwhowasgoingtohaveababy,andthenarrow—facedyouth。Shewasfair,rathershort,stout。Hewasofmediumheight,attractivelybuilt。Hisdarkhairfellsidewaysoverhisbrow,fromunderhiscap,hestoodstrangelyaloof,likeoneofthedamned。

  `Letusgiveittothem,\'whisperedUrsula。`Looktheyaregettingahometogether。\'

  `Iwon\'taidabettheminit,\'hesaidpetulantly,instantlysympathisingwiththealoof,furtiveyouth,againsttheactive,procreantfemale。

  `Ohyes,\'criedUrsula。`It\'srightforthem——there\'snothingelseforthem。\'

  `Verywell,\'saidBirkin,`youofferittothem。I\'llwatch。\'

  Ursulawentrathernervouslytotheyoungcouple,whowerediscussinganironwashstand——orrather,themanwasglancingfurtivelyandwonderingly,likeaprisoner,attheabominablearticle,whilstthewomanwasarguing。

  `Weboughtachair,\'saidUrsula,`andwedon\'twantit。Wouldyouhaveit?Weshouldbegladifyouwould。\'

  Theyoungcouplelookedroundather,notbelievingthatshecouldbeaddressingthem。

  `Wouldyoucareforit?\'repeatedUrsula。`It\'sreallyverypretty——but——but——\'shesmiledratherdazzlingly。

  Theyoungcoupleonlystaredather,andlookedsignificantlyateachother,toknowwhattodo。Andthemancuriouslyobliteratedhimself,asifhecouldmakehimselfinvisible,asaratcan。

  `Wewantedtogiveittoyou,\'explainedUrsula,nowovercomewithconfusionanddreadofthem。Shewasattractedbytheyoungman。Hewasastill,mindlesscreature,hardlyamanatall,acreaturethatthetownshaveproduced,strangelypure—bredandfineinonesense,furtive,quick,subtle。Hislashesweredarkandlongandfineoverhiseyes,thathadnomindinthem,onlyadreadfulkindofsubject,inwardconsciousness,glazedanddark。Hisdarkbrowsandallhislines,werefinelydrawn。Hewouldbeadreadful,butwonderfullovertoawoman,somarvellouslycontributed。

  Hislegswouldbemarvellouslysubtleandalive,undertheshapeless,trousers,hehadsomeofthefinenessandstillnessandsilkinessofadark—eyed,silentrat。

  Ursulahadapprehendedhimwithafinefrissonofattraction。

  Thefull—builtwomanwasstaringoffensively。AgainUrsulaforgothim。

  `Won\'tyouhavethechair?\'shesaid。

  Themanlookedatherwithasidewayslookofappreciation,yetfaroff,almostinsolent。Thewomandrewherselfup。Therewasacertaincostermongerrichnessabouther。ShedidnotknowwhatUrsulawasafter,shewasonherguard,hostile。Birkinapproached,smilingwickedlyatseeingUrsulasononplussedandfrightened。

  `What\'sthematter?\'hesaid,smiling。Hiseyelidshaddroppedslightly,therewasabouthimthesamesuggestive,mockingsecrecythatwasinthebearingofthetwocitycreatures。Themanjerkedhisheadalittleononeside,indicatingUrsula,andsaid,withcuriousamiable,jeeringwarmth:

  `Whatshewarnt?——eh?\'Anoddsmilewrithedhislips。

  Birkinlookedathimfromunderhisslack,ironicaleyelids。

  `Togiveyouachair——that——withthelabelonit,\'hesaid,pointing。

  Themanlookedattheobjectindicated。Therewasacurioushostilityinmale,outlawedunderstandingbetweenthetwomen。

  `What\'sshewarnttogiveitusfor,guvnor,\'hereplied,inatoneoffreeintimacythatinsultedUrsula。

  `Thoughtyou\'dlikeit——it\'saprettychair。Weboughtitanddon\'twantit。Noneedforyoutohaveit,don\'tbefrightened,\'saidBirkin,withawrysmile。

  Themanglancedupathim,halfinimical,halfrecognising。

  `Whydon\'tyouwantitforyourselves,ifyou\'vejustboughtit?\'askedthewomancoolly。`\'Taintgoodenoughforyou,nowyou\'vehadalookatit。Frightenedit\'sgotsomethinginit,eh?\'

  ShewaslookingatUrsula,admiringly,butwithsomeresentment。

  `I\'dneverthoughtofthat,\'saidBirkin。`Butno,thewood\'stoothineverywhere。\'

  `Yousee,\'saidUrsula,herfaceluminousandpleased。`Wearejustgoingtogetmarried,andwethoughtwe\'dbuythings。Thenwedecided,justnow,thatwewouldn\'thavefurniture,we\'dgoabroad。\'

  Thefull—built,slightlyblowsycitygirllookedatthefinefaceoftheotherwoman,withappreciation。Theyappreciatedeachother。Theyouthstoodaside,hisfaceexpressionlessandtimeless,thethinlineoftheblackmoustachedrawnstrangelysuggestiveoverhisratherwide,closedmouth。Hewasimpassive,abstract,likesomedarksuggestivepresence,agutter—presence。

  `It\'sallrighttobesomefolks,\'saidthecitygirl,turningtoherownyoungman。Hedidnotlookather,buthesmiledwiththelowerpartofhisface,puttinghisheadasideinanoddgestureofassent。Hiseyeswereunchanging,glazedwithdarkness。

  `Cawstssomethingtochangeyourmind,\'hesaid,inanincrediblylowaccent。

  `Onlytenshillingsthistime,\'saidBirkin。

  Themanlookedupathimwithagrimaceofasmile,furtive,unsure。

  `Cheapat\'arfaquid,guvnor,\'hesaid。`Notlikegettingdivawced。\'

  `We\'renotmarriedyet,\'saidBirkin。

  `No,nomorearen\'twe,\'saidtheyoungwomanloudly。`Butweshallbe,aSaturday。\'

  Againshelookedattheyoungmanwithadetermined,protectivelook,atonceoverbearingandverygentle。Hegrinnedsicklily,turningawayhishead。Shehadgothismanhood,butLord,whatdidhecare!Hehadastrangefurtiveprideandslinkingsingleness。

  `Goodlucktoyou,\'saidBirkin。

  `Sametoyou,\'saidtheyoungwoman。Then,rathertentatively:`When\'syourscomingoff,then?\'

  BirkinlookedroundatUrsula。

  `It\'sfortheladytosay,\'hereplied。`Wegototheregistrarthemomentshe\'sready。\'

  Ursulalaughed,coveredwithconfusionandbewilderment。

  `No\'urry,\'saidtheyoungman,grinningsuggestive。

  `Oh,don\'tbreakyournecktogetthere,\'saidtheyoungwoman。`\'Slikewhenyou\'redead——you\'relongtimemarried。\'

  Theyoungmanturnedasideasifthishithim。

  `Thelongerthebetter,letushope,\'saidBirkin。

  `That\'sit,guvnor,\'saidtheyoungmanadmiringly。`Enjoyitwhileitlarsts——niverwhipadeaddonkey。\'

  `Onlywhenhe\'sshammingdead,\'saidtheyoungwoman,lookingatheryoungmanwithcaressivetendernessofauthority。

  `Aw,there\'sadifference,\'hesaidsatirically。

  `Whataboutthechair?\'saidBirkin。

  `Yes,allright,\'saidthewoman。

  Theytrailedofftothedealer,thehandsomebutabjectyoungfellowhangingalittleaside。

  `That\'sit,\'saidBirkin。`Willyoutakeitwithyou,orhavetheaddressaltered。\'

  `Oh,Fredcancarryit。Makehimdowhathecanforthedearold\'ome。\'

  `Mikeuseof\'im,\'saidFred,grimlyhumorous,ashetookthechairfromthedealer。Hismovementsweregraceful,yetcuriouslyabject,slinking。

  `\'Ere\'smother\'scosychair,\'hesaid。`Warntsacushion。\'Andhestooditdownonthemarketstones。

  `Don\'tyouthinkit\'spretty?\'laughedUrsula。

  `Oh,Ido,\'saidtheyoungwoman。

  `\'Aveasitinit,you\'llwishyou\'dkeptit,\'saidtheyoungman。

  Ursulapromptlysatdowninthemiddleofthemarket—place。

  `Awfullycomfortable,\'shesaid。`Butratherhard。Youtryit。\'Sheinvitedtheyoungmantoaseat。Butheturneduncouthly,awkwardlyaside,glancingupatherwithquickbrighteyes,oddlysuggestive,likeaquick,liverat。

  `Don\'tspoilhim,\'saidtheyoungwoman。`He\'snotusedtoarm—chairs,\'eisn\'t。

  Theyoungmanturnedaway,andsaid,withavertedgrin:

  `Onlywarntslegson\'is。\'

  Thefourparted。Theyoungwomanthankedthem。

  `Thankyouforthechair——it\'lllasttillitgivesway。\'

  `Keepitforanornyment,\'saidtheyoungman。

  `Goodafternoon——Goodafternoon,\'saidUrsulaandBirkin。

  `Goo\'—lucktoyou,\'saidtheyoungman,glancingandavoidingBirkin\'seyes,asheturnedasidehishead。

  Thetwocoupleswentasunder,UrsulaclingingtoBirkin\'sarm。Whentheyhadgonesomedistance,sheglancedbackandsawtheyoungmangoingbesidethefull,easyyoungwoman。Histrouserssankoverhisheels,hemovedwithasortofslinkingevasion,morecrushedwithoddself—consciousnessnowhehadtheslimoldarm—chairtocarry,hisarmovertheback,thefourfine,squaretaperinglegsswayingperilouslynearthegranitesettsofthepavement。Andyethewassomewhereindomitableandseparate,likeaquick,vitalrat。Hehadaqueer,subterraneanbeauty,repulsivetoo。

  `Howstrangetheyare!\'saidUrsula。

  `Childrenofmen,\'hesaid。`TheyremindmeofJesus:\"Themeekshallinherittheearth。\"\'

  `Buttheyaren\'tthemeek,\'saidUrsula。

  `Yes,Idon\'tknowwhy,buttheyare,\'hereplied。

  Theywaitedforthetramcar。Ursulasatontopandlookedoutonthetown。Theduskwasjustdimmingthehollowsofcrowdedhouses。

  `Andaretheygoingtoinherittheearth?\'shesaid。

  `Yes——they。\'

  `Thenwhatarewegoingtodo?\'sheasked。`We\'renotlikethem——arewe?We\'renotthemeek?\'

  `No。We\'vegottoliveinthechinkstheyleaveus。\'

  `Howhorrible!\'criedUrsula。`Idon\'twanttoliveinchinks。\'

  `Don\'tworry,\'hesaid。`Theyarethechildrenofmen,theylikemarket—placesandstreet—cornersbest。Thatleavesplentyofchinks。\'

  `Alltheworld,\'shesaid。

  `Ahno——butsomeroom。\'

  Thetramcarmountedslowlyupthehill,wheretheuglywinter—greymassesofhouseslookedlikeavisionofhellthatiscoldandangular。Theysatandlooked。Awayinthedistancewasanangryrednessofsunset。Itwasallcold,somehowsmall,crowded,andliketheendoftheworld。

  `Idon\'tminditeventhen,\'saidUrsula,lookingattherepulsivenessofitall。`Itdoesn\'tconcernme。\'

  `Nomoreitdoes,\'hereplied,holdingherhand。`Oneneedn\'tsee。Onegoesone\'sway。Inmyworlditissunnyandspacious——\'

  `Itis,mylove,isn\'tit?\'shecried,huggingneartohimonthetopofthetramcar,sothattheotherpassengersstaredatthem。

  `Andwewillwanderaboutonthefaceoftheearth,\'hesaid,`andwe\'lllookattheworldbeyondjustthisbit。\'

  Therewasalongsilence。Herfacewasradiantlikegold,asshesatthinking。

  `Idon\'twanttoinherittheearth,\'shesaid。`Idon\'twanttoinheritanything。\'

  Heclosedhishandoverhers。

  `NeitherdoI。Iwanttobedisinherited。\'

  Sheclaspedhisfingersclosely。

  `Wewon\'tcareaboutanything,\'shesaid。

  Hesatstill,andlaughed。

  `Andwe\'llbemarried,andhavedonewiththem,\'sheadded。

  Againhelaughed。

  `It\'sonewayofgettingridofeverything,\'shesaid,`togetmarried。\'

  `Andonewayofacceptingthewholeworld,\'headded。

  `Awholeotherworld,yes,\'shesaidhappily。

  `Perhapsthere\'sGerald——andGudrun——\'hesaid。

  `Ifthereisthereis,yousee,\'shesaid。`It\'snogoodourworrying。

  Wecan\'treallyalterthem,canwe?\'

  `No,\'hesaid。`Onehasnorighttotry——notwiththebestintentionsintheworld。\'

  `Doyoutrytoforcethem?\'sheasked。

  `Perhaps,\'hesaid。`WhyshouldIwanthimtobefree,ifitisn\'thisbusiness?\'

  Shepausedforatime。

  `Wecan\'tmakehimhappy,anyhow,\'shesaid。`He\'dhavetobeitofhimself。\'

  `Iknow,\'hesaid。`Butwewantotherpeoplewithus,don\'twe?\'

  `Whyshouldwe?\'sheasked。

  `Idon\'tknow,\'hesaiduneasily。`Onehasahankeringafterasortoffurtherfellowship。\'

  `Butwhy?\'sheinsisted。`Whyshouldyouhankerafterotherpeople?

  Whyshouldyouneedthem?\'

  Thishithimrightonthequick。Hisbrowsknitted。

  `Doesitendwithjustourtwoselves?\'heasked,tense。

  `Yes——whatmoredoyouwant?Ifanybodylikestocomealong,letthem。

  Butwhymustyourunafterthem?\'

  Hisfacewastenseandunsatisfied。

  `Yousee,\'hesaid,`Ialwaysimagineourbeingreallyhappywithsomefewotherpeople——alittlefreedomwithpeople。\'

  Sheponderedforamoment。

  `Yes,onedoeswantthat。Butitmusthappen。Youcan\'tdoanythingforitwithyourwill。Youalwaysseemtothinkyoucanforcetheflowerstocomeout。Peoplemustloveusbecausetheyloveus——youcan\'tmakethem。\'

  `Iknow,\'hesaid。`Butmustonetakenostepsatall?Mustonejustgoasifonewerealoneintheworld——theonlycreatureintheworld?\'

  `You\'vegotme,\'shesaid。`Whyshouldyouneedothers?Whymustyouforcepeopletoagreewithyou?Whycan\'tyoubesinglebyyourself,asyouarealwayssaying?YoutrytobullyGerald——asyoutriedtobullyHermione。Youmustlearntobealone。Andit\'ssohorridofyou。You\'vegotme。Andyetyouwanttoforceotherpeopletoloveyouaswell。Youdotrytobullythemtoloveyou。Andeventhen,youdon\'twanttheirlove。\'

  Hisfacewasfullofrealperplexity。

  `Don\'tI?\'hesaid。`It\'stheproblemIcan\'tsolve。IknowI

  wantaperfectandcompleterelationshipwithyou:andwe\'venearlygotit——wereallyhave。Butbeyondthat。DoIwantareal,ultimaterelationshipwithGerald?DoIwantafinal,almostextra—humanrelationshipwithhim——arelationshipintheultimateofmeandhim——ordon\'tI?\'

  Shelookedathimforalongtime,withstrangebrighteyes,butshedidnotanswer。

  WomenInLove:Chapter27CHAPTERXXVIIFlittingTHATEVENINGUrsulareturnedhomeverybright—eyedandwondrous——whichirritatedherpeople。Herfathercamehomeatsuppertime,tiredaftertheeveningclass,andthelongjourneyhome。Gudrunwasreading,themothersatinsilence。

  SuddenlyUrsulasaidtothecompanyatlarge,inabrightvoice,`RupertandIaregoingtobemarriedtomorrow。\'

  Herfatherturnedround,stiffly。

  `Youwhat?\'hesaid。

  `Tomorrow!\'echoedGudrun。

  `Indeed!\'saidthemother。

  ButUrsulaonlysmiledwonderfully,anddidnotreply。

  `Marriedtomorrow!\'criedherfatherharshly。`Whatareyoutalkingabout。\'

  `Yes,\'saidUrsula。`Whynot?\'Thosetwowords,fromher,alwaysdrovehimmad。`Everythingisallright——weshallgototheregistrar\'soffice——\'

  Therewasasecond\'shushintheroom,afterUrsula\'sblithevagueness。

  `Really,Ursula!\'saidGudrun。

  `Mightweaskwhytherehasbeenallthissecrecy?\'demandedthemother,rathersuperbly。

  `Buttherehasn\'t,\'saidUrsula。`Youknew。\'

  `Whoknew?\'nowcriedthefather。`Whoknew?Whatdoyoumeanbyyour\"youknew\"?\'

  Hewasinoneofhisstupidrages,sheinstantlyclosedagainsthim。

  `Ofcourseyouknew,\'shesaidcoolly。`Youknewweweregoingtogetmarried。\'

  Therewasadangerouspause。

  `Weknewyouweregoingtogetmarried,didwe?Knew!Why,doesanybodyknowanythingaboutyou,youshiftybitch!\'

  `Father!\'criedGudrun,flushingdeepinviolentremonstrance。Then,inacold,butgentlevoice,asiftoremindhersistertobetractable:

  `Butisn\'titafearfullysuddendecision,Ursula?\'sheasked。

  `No,notreally,\'repliedUrsula,withthesamemaddeningcheerfulness。

  `He\'sbeenwantingmetoagreeforweeks——he\'shadthelicenceready。OnlyI——Iwasn\'treadyinmyself。NowIamready——isthereanythingtobedisagreeableabout?\'

  `Certainlynot,\'saidGudrun,butinatoneofcoldreproof。`Youareperfectlyfreetodoasyoulike。\'

  `\"Readyinyourself\"——yourself,that\'sallthatmatters,isn\'tit!\"Iwasn\'treadyinmyself,\"\'hemimickedherphraseoffensively。`Youandyourself,you\'reofsomeimportance,aren\'tyou?\'

  Shedrewherselfupandsetbackherthroat,hereyesshiningyellowanddangerous。

  `Iamtomyself,\'shesaid,woundedandmortified。`IknowIamnottoanybodyelse。Youonlywantedtobullyme——younevercaredformyhappiness。\'

  Hewasleaningforwardwatchingher,hisfaceintenselikeaspark。

  `Ursula,whatareyousaying?Keepyourtonguestill,\'criedhermother。

  Ursulaswunground,andthelightsinhereyesflashed。

  `No,Iwon\'t,\'shecried。`Iwon\'tholdmytongueandbebullied。WhatdoesitmatterwhichdayIgetmarried——whatdoesitmatter!Itdoesn\'taffectanybodybutmyself。\'

  Herfatherwastenseandgatheredtogetherlikeacatabouttospring。

  `Doesn\'tit?\'hecried,comingnearertoher。Sheshrankaway。

  `No,howcanit?\'shereplied,shrinkingbutstubborn。

  `Itdoesn\'tmattertomethen,whatyoudo——whatbecomesofyou?\'hecried,inastrangevoicelikeacry。

  ThemotherandGudrunstoodbackasifhypnotised。

  `No,\'stammeredUrsula。Herfatherwasveryneartoher。`Youonlywantto——\'

  Sheknewitwasdangerous,andshestopped。Hewasgatheredtogether,everymuscleready。

  `What?\'hechallenged。

  `Bullyme,\'shemuttered,andevenasherlipsweremoving,hishandhadcaughthersmackatthesideofthefaceandshewassentupagainstthedoor。

  `Father!\'criedGudruninahighvoice,`itisimpossible!\'

  Hestoodunmoving。Ursularecovered,herhandwasonthedoorhandle。

  Sheslowlydrewherselfup。Heseemeddoubtfulnow。

  `It\'strue,\'shedeclared,withbrillianttearsinhereyes,herheadliftedupindefiance。`Whathasyourlovemeant,whatdiditevermean?

  ——bullying,anddenial——itdid——\'

  Hewasadvancingagainwithstrange,tensemovements,andclenchedfist,andthefaceofamurderer。Butswiftaslightningshehadflashedoutofthedoor,andtheyheardherrunningupstairs。

  Hestoodforamomentlookingatthedoor。Then,likeadefeatedanimal,heturnedandwentbacktohisseatbythefire。

  Gudrunwasverywhite。Outoftheintensesilence,themother\'svoicewasheardsaying,coldandangry:

  `Well,youshouldn\'ttakesomuchnoticeofher。\'

  Againthesilencefell,eachfollowedaseparatesetofemotionsandthoughts。

  Suddenlythedooropenedagain:Ursula,dressedinhatandfurs,withasmallvaliseinherhand:

  `Good—bye!\'shesaid,inhermaddening,bright,almostmockingtone。

  `I\'mgoing。\'

  Andinthenextinstantthedoorwasclosed,theyheardtheouterdoor,thenherquickstepsdownthegardenpath,thenthegatebanged,andherlightfootfallwasgone。Therewasasilencelikedeathinthehouse。

  Ursulawentstraighttothestation,hasteningheedlesslyonwingedfeet。Therewasnotrain,shemustwalkontothejunction。Asshewentthroughthedarkness,shebegantocry,andsheweptbitterly,withadumb,heart—broken,child\'sanguish,allthewayontheroad,andinthetrain。

  Timepassedunheededandunknown,shedidnotknowwhereshewas,norwhatwastakingplace。Onlysheweptfromfathomlessdepthsofhopeless,hopelessgrief,theterriblegriefofachild,thatknowsnoextenuation。

  YethervoicehadthesamedefensivebrightnessasshespoketoBirkin\'slandladyatthedoor。

  `Goodevening!IsMrBirkinin?CanIseehim?\'

  `Yes,he\'sin。He\'sinhisstudy。\'

  Ursulaslippedpastthewoman。Hisdooropened。Hehadheardhervoice。

  `Hello!\'heexclaimedinsurprise,seeingherstandingtherewiththevaliseinherhand,andmarksoftearsonherface。Shewasonewhoweptwithoutshowingmanytraces,likeachild。

  `DoIlookasight?\'shesaid,shrinking。

  `No——why?Comein,\'hetookthebagfromherhandandtheywentintothestudy。

  There——immediately,herlipsbegantotremblelikethoseofachildthatremembersagain,andthetearscamerushingup。

  `What\'sthematter?\'heasked,takingherinhisarms。Shesobbedviolentlyonhisshoulder,whilstheheldherstill,waiting。

点击下载App,搜索"Women in Love",免费读到尾