Hesoundedasifhewereaddressingameeting。Hermionemerelypaidnoattention，stoodwithhershoulderstightinashrugofdislike。
Ursulawaswatchinghimasiffurtively，notreallyawareofwhatshewasseeing。Therewasagreatphysicalattractivenessinhim——acurioushiddenrichness，thatcamethroughhisthinnessandhispallorlikeanothervoice，conveyinganotherknowledgeofhim。Itwasinthecurvesofhisbrowsandhischin，rich，fine，exquisitecurves，thepowerfulbeautyoflifeitself。Shecouldnotsaywhatitwas。Buttherewasasenseofrichnessandofliberty。
`Butwearesensualenough，withoutmakingourselvesso，aren\'twe？\'
sheasked，turningtohimwithacertaingoldenlaughterflickeringunderhergreenisheyes，likeachallenge。Andimmediatelythequeer，careless，terriblyattractivesmilecameoverhiseyesandbrows，thoughhismouthdidnotrelax。
`No，\'hesaid，`wearen\'t。We\'retoofullofourselves。\'
`Surelyitisn\'tamatterofconceit，\'shecried。
`Thatandnothingelse。\'
Shewasfranklypuzzled。
`Don\'tyouthinkthatpeoplearemostconceitedofallabouttheirsensualpowers？\'sheasked。
`That\'swhytheyaren\'tsensual——onlysensuous——whichisanothermatter。They\'realwaysawareofthemselves——andthey\'resoconceited，thatratherthanreleasethemselves，andliveinanotherworld，fromanothercentre，they\'d——\'
`Youwantyourtea，don\'tyou，\'saidHermione，turningtoUrsulawithagraciouskindliness。`You\'veworkedallday——\'
Birkinstoppedshort。AspasmofangerandchagrinwentoverUrsula。
Hisfaceset。Andhebadegood—bye，asifhehadceasedtonoticeher。
Theyweregone。Ursulastoodlookingatthedoorforsomemoments。Thensheputoutthelights。Andhavingdoneso，shesatdownagaininherchair，absorbedandlost。Andthenshebegantocry，bitterly，bitterlyweeping:
butwhetherformiseryorjoy，sheneverknew。
WomenInLove:Chapter4CHAPTERIVDiverTHEWEEKpassedaway。OntheSaturdayitrained，asoftdrizzlingrainthatheldoffattimes。InoneoftheintervalsGudrunandUrsulasetoutforawalk，goingtowardsWilleyWater。Theatmospherewasgreyandtranslucent，thebirdssangsharplyontheyoungtwigs，theearthwouldbequickeningandhasteningingrowth。Thetwogirlswalkedswiftly，gladly，becauseofthesoft，subtlerushofmorningthatfilledthewethaze。Bytheroadtheblack—thornwasinblossom，whiteandwet，itstinyambergrainsburningfaintlyinthewhitesmokeofblossom。Purpletwigsweredarklyluminousinthegreyair，highhedgesglowedlikelivingshadows，hoveringnearer，comingintocreation。Themorningwasfullofanewcreation。
WhenthesisterscametoWilleyWater，thelakelayallgreyandvisionary，stretchingintothemoist，translucentvistaoftreesandmeadow。Fineelectricactivityinsoundcamefromthedumblesbelowtheroad，thebirdspipingoneagainsttheother，andwatermysteriouslyplashing，issuingfromthelake。
Thetwogirlsdriftedswiftlyalong。Infrontofthem，atthecornerofthelake，neartheroad，wasamossyboat—houseunderawalnuttree，andalittlelanding—stagewhereaboatwasmoored，waveringlikeashadowonthestillgreywater，belowthegreen，decayedpoles。Allwasshadowywithcomingsummer。
Suddenly，fromtheboat—house，awhitefigureranout，frighteninginitsswiftsharptransit，acrosstheoldlanding—stage。Itlaunchedinawhitearcthroughtheair，therewasaburstingofthewater，andamongthesmoothripplesaswimmerwasmakingouttospace，inacentreoffaintlyheavingmotion。Thewholeotherworld，wetandremote，hehadtohimself。
Hecouldmoveintothepuretranslucencyofthegrey，uncreatedwater。
Gudrunstoodbythestonewall，watching。
`HowIenvyhim，\'shesaid，inlow，desiroustones。
`Ugh！\'shiveredUrsula。`Socold！\'
`Yes，buthowgood，howreallyfine，toswimoutthere！\'Thesistersstoodwatchingtheswimmermovefurtherintothegrey，moist，fullspaceofthewater，pulsingwithhisownsmall，invadingmotion，andarchedoverwithmistanddimwoods。
`Don\'tyouwishitwereyou？\'askedGudrun，lookingatUrsula。
`Ido，\'saidUrsula。`ButI\'mnotsure——it\'ssowet。\'
`No，\'saidGudrun，reluctantly。Shestoodwatchingthemotiononthebosomofthewater，asiffascinated。He，havingswumacertaindistance，turnedroundandwasswimmingonhisback，lookingalongthewateratthetwogirlsbythewall。Inthefaintwashofmotion，theycouldseehisruddyface，andcouldfeelhimwatchingthem。
`ItisGeraldCrich，\'saidUrsula。
`Iknow，\'repliedGudrun。
Andshestoodmotionlessgazingoverthewateratthefacewhichwashedupanddownontheflood，asheswamsteadily。Fromhisseparateelementhesawthemandheexultedtohimselfbecauseofhisownadvantage，hispossessionofaworldtohimself。Hewasimmuneandperfect。Helovedhisownvigorous，thrustingmotion，andtheviolentimpulseoftheverycoldwateragainsthislimbs，buoyinghimup。Hecouldseethegirlswatchinghimawayoff，outside，andthatpleasedhim。Heliftedhisarmfromthewater，inasigntothem。
`Heiswaving，\'saidUrsula。
`Yes，\'repliedGudrun。Theywatchedhim。Hewavedagain，withastrangemovementofrecognitionacrossthedifference。
`LikeaNibelung，\'laughedUrsula。Gudrunsaidnothing，onlystoodstilllookingoverthewater。
Geraldsuddenlyturned，andwasswimmingawayswiftly，withasidestroke。
Hewasalonenow，aloneandimmuneinthemiddleofthewaters，whichhehadalltohimself。Heexultedinhisisolationinthenewelement，unquestionedandunconditioned。Hewashappy，thrustingwithhislegsandallhisbody，withoutbondorconnectionanywhere，justhimselfinthewateryworld。
Gudrunenviedhimalmostpainfully。Eventhismomentarypossessionofpureisolationandfluidityseemedtohersoterriblydesirablethatshefeltherselfasifdamned，outthereonthehigh—road。
`God，whatitistobeaman！\'shecried。
`What？\'exclaimedUrsulainsurprise。
`Thefreedom，theliberty，themobility！\'criedGudrun，strangelyflushedandbrilliant。`You\'reaman，youwanttodoathing，youdoit。Youhaven\'tthethousandobstaclesawomanhasinfrontofher。\'
UrsulawonderedwhatwasinGudrun\'smind，tooccasionthisoutburst。
Shecouldnotunderstand。
`Whatdoyouwanttodo？\'sheasked。
`Nothing，\'criedGudrun，inswiftrefutation。`ButsupposingIdid。
SupposingIwanttoswimupthatwater。Itisimpossible，itisoneoftheimpossibilitiesoflife，formetotakemyclothesoffnowandjumpin。Butisn\'titridiculous，doesn\'titsimplypreventourliving！\'
Shewassohot，soflushed，sofurious，thatUrsulawaspuzzled。
Thetwosisterswenton，uptheroad。TheywerepassingbetweenthetreesjustbelowShortlands。Theylookedupatthelong，lowhouse，dimandglamorousinthewetmorning，itscedartreesslantingbeforethewindows。
Gudrunseemedtobestudyingitclosely。
`Don\'tyouthinkit\'sattractive，Ursula？\'askedGudrun。
`Very，\'saidUrsula。`Verypeacefulandcharming。\'
`Ithasform，too——ithasaperiod。\'
`Whatperiod？\'
`Oh，eighteenthcentury，forcertain;DorothyWordsworthandJaneAusten，don\'tyouthink？\'
Ursulalaughed。
`Don\'tyouthinkso？\'repeatedGudrun。
`Perhaps。ButIdon\'tthinktheCrichesfittheperiod。IknowGeraldisputtinginaprivateelectricplant，forlightingthehouse，andismakingallkindsoflatestimprovements。\'
Gudrunshruggedhershouldersswiftly。
`Ofcourse，\'shesaid，`that\'squiteinevitable。\'
`Quite，\'laughedUrsula。`Heisseveralgenerationsofyoungnessatonego。Theyhatehimforit。Hetakesthemallbythescruffoftheneck，andfairlyflingsthemalong。He\'llhavetodiesoon，whenhe\'smadeeverypossibleimprovement，andtherewillbenothingmoretoimprove。He\'sgotgo，anyhow。\'
`Certainly，he\'sgotgo，\'saidGudrun。`InfactI\'veneverseenamanthatshowedsignsofsomuch。Theunfortunatethingis，wheredoeshisgogoto，whatbecomesofit？\'
`OhIknow，\'saidUrsula。`Itgoesinapplyingthelatestappliances！\'
`Exactly，\'saidGudrun。
`Youknowheshothisbrother？\'saidUrsula。
`Shothisbrother？\'criedGudrun，frowningasifindisapprobation。
`Didn\'tyouknow？Ohyes！——Ithoughtyouknew。Heandhisbrotherwereplayingtogetherwithagun。Hetoldhisbrothertolookdownthegun，anditwasloaded，andblewthetopofhisheadoff。Isn\'titahorriblestory？\'
`Howfearful！\'criedGudrun。`Butitislongago？\'
`Ohyes，theywerequiteboys，\'saidUrsula。`IthinkitisoneofthemosthorriblestoriesIknow。\'
`Andheofcoursedidnotknowthatthegunwasloaded？\'
`Yes。Youseeitwasanoldthingthathadbeenlyinginthestableforyears。Nobodydreameditwouldevergooff，andofcourse，nooneimagineditwasloaded。Butisn\'titdreadful，thatitshouldhappen？\'
`Frightful！\'criedGudrun。`Andisn\'tithorribletootothinkofsuchathinghappeningtoone，whenonewasachild，andhavingtocarrytheresponsibilityofitallthroughone\'slife。Imagineit，twoboysplayingtogether——thenthiscomesuponthem，fornoreasonwhatever——outoftheair。Ursula，it\'sveryfrightening！Oh，it\'soneofthethingsIcan\'tbear。Murder，thatisthinkable，becausethere\'sawillbehindit。Butathinglikethattohappentoone——\'
`Perhapstherewasanunconsciouswillbehindit，\'saidUrsula。
`Thisplayingatkillinghassomeprimitivedesireforkillinginit，don\'tyouthink？\'
`Desire！\'saidGudrun，coldly，stiffeningalittle。`Ican\'tseethattheywereevenplayingatkilling。Isupposeoneboysaidtotheother，\"YoulookdownthebarrelwhileIpullthetrigger，andseewhathappens。\"
Itseemstomethepurestformofaccident。\'
`No，\'saidUrsula。`Icouldn\'tpullthetriggeroftheemptiestgunintheworld，notifsome—onewerelookingdownthebarrel。Oneinstinctivelydoesn\'tdoit——onecan\'t。\'
Gudrunwassilentforsomemoments，insharpdisagreement。
`Ofcourse，\'shesaidcoldly。`Ifoneisawoman，andgrownup，one\'sinstinctpreventsone。ButIcannotseehowthatappliestoacoupleofboysplayingtogether。\'
Hervoicewascoldandangry。
`Yes，\'persistedUrsula。Atthatmomenttheyheardawoman\'svoiceafewyardsoffsayloudly:
`Ohdamnthething！\'TheywentforwardandsawLauraCrichandHermioneRoddiceinthefieldontheothersideofthehedge，andLauraCrichstrugglingwiththegate，togetout。Ursulaatoncehurriedupandhelpedtoliftthegate。
`Thankssomuch，\'saidLaura，lookingupflushedandamazon—like，yetratherconfused。`Itisn\'trightonthehinges。\'
`No，\'saidUrsula。`Andthey\'resoheavy。\'
`Surprising！\'criedLaura。
`Howdoyoudo，\'sangHermione，fromoutofthefield，themomentshecouldmakehervoiceheard。`It\'snicenow。Areyougoingforawalk？Yes。
Isn\'ttheyounggreenbeautiful？Sobeautiful——quiteburning。Goodmorning——goodmorning——you\'llcomeandseeme？——thankyousomuch——nextweek——yes——good—bye，g—o—o—db—y—e。\'
GudrunandUrsulastoodandwatchedherslowlywavingherheadupanddown，andwavingherhandslowlyindismissal，smilingastrangeaffectedsmile，makingatallqueer，frighteningfigure，withherheavyfairhairslippingtohereyes。Thentheymovedoff，asiftheyhadbeendismissedlikeinferiors。Thefourwomenparted。
Assoonastheyhadgonefarenough，Ursulasaid，hercheeksburning，`Idothinkshe\'simpudent。\'
`Who，HermioneRoddice？\'askedGudrun。`Why？\'
`Thewayshetreatsone——impudence！\'
`Why，Ursula，whatdidyounoticethatwassoimpudent？\'askedGudrunrathercoldly。
`Herwholemanner。Oh，It\'simpossible，thewayshetriestobullyone。
Purebullying。She\'sanimpudentwoman。\"You\'llcomeandseeme，\"asifweshouldbefallingoverourselvesfortheprivilege。\'
`Ican\'tunderstand，Ursula，whatyouaresomuchputoutabout，\'saidGudrun，insomeexasperation。`Oneknowsthosewomenareimpudent——thesefreewomenwhohaveemancipatedthemselvesfromthearistocracy。\'
`ButitissoUnnecessary——sovulgar，\'criedUrsula。
`No，Idon\'tseeit。AndifIdid——pourmoi，ellen\'existepas。I
don\'tgrantherthepowertobeimpudenttome。\'
`Doyouthinkshelikesyou？\'askedUrsula。
`Well，no，Ishouldn\'tthinkshedid。\'
`ThenwhydoessheaskyoutogotoBreadalbyandstaywithher？\'
Gudrunliftedhershouldersinalowshrug。
`Afterall，she\'sgotthesensetoknowwe\'renotjusttheordinaryrun，\'saidGudrun。`Whateversheis，she\'snotafool。AndI\'dratherhavesomebodyIdetested，thantheordinarywomanwhokeepstoherownset。
HermioneRoddicedoesriskherselfinsomerespects。\'
Ursulaponderedthisforatime。
`Idoubtit，\'shereplied。`Reallysherisksnothing。Isupposeweoughttoadmireherforknowingshecaninviteus——schoolteachers——
andrisknothing。\'
`Precisely！\'saidGudrun。`Thinkofthemyriadsofwomenthatdaren\'tdoit。Shemakesthemostofherprivileges——that\'ssomething。Isuppose，really，weshoulddothesame，inherplace。\'
`No，\'saidUrsula。`No。Itwouldboreme。Icouldn\'tspendmytimeplayinghergames。It\'sinfradig。\'
Thetwosisterswerelikeapairofscissors，snippingoffeverythingthatcameathwartthem;orlikeaknifeandawhetstone，theonesharpenedagainsttheother。
`Ofcourse，\'criedUrsulasuddenly，`sheoughttothankherstarsifwewillgoandseeher。Youareperfectlybeautiful，athousandtimesmorebeautifulthaneversheisorwas，andtomythinking，athousandtimesmorebeautifullydressed，forsheneverlooksfreshandnatural，likeaflower，alwaysold，thought—out;andwearemoreintelligentthanmostpeople。\'
`Undoubtedly！\'saidGudrun。
`Anditoughttobeadmitted，simply，\'saidUrsula。
`Certainlyitought，\'saidGudrun。`Butyou\'llfindthatthereallychicthingistobesoabsolutelyordinary，soperfectlycommonplaceandlikethepersoninthestreet，thatyoureallyareamasterpieceofhumanity，notthepersoninthestreetactually，buttheartisticcreationofher——\'
`Howawful！\'criedUrsula。
`Yes，Ursula，itisawful，inmostrespects。Youdaren\'tbeanythingthatisn\'tamazinglyaterre，somuchaterrethatitistheartisticcreationofordinariness。\'
`It\'sverydulltocreateoneselfintonothingbetter，\'laughedUrsula。
`Verydull！\'retortedGudrun。`ReallyUrsula，itisdull，that\'sjusttheword。Onelongstobehigh—flown，andmakespeecheslikeCorneille，afterit。\'
Gudrunwasbecomingflushedandexcitedoverherowncleverness。
`Strut，\'saidUrsula。`Onewantstostrut，tobeaswanamonggeese。\'
`Exactly，\'criedGudrun，`aswanamonggeese。\'
`Theyareallsobusyplayingtheuglyduckling，\'criedUrsula，withmockinglaughter。`AndIdon\'tfeelabitlikeahumbleandpatheticuglyduckling。Idofeellikeaswanamonggeese——Ican\'thelpit。Theymakeonefeelso。AndIdon\'tcarewhattheythinkofme。fem\'enfiche。\'
GudrunlookedupatUrsulawithaqueer，uncertainenvyanddislike。
`Ofcourse，theonlythingtodoistodespisethemall——justall，\'
shesaid。
Thesisterswenthomeagain，toreadandtalkandwork，andwaitforMonday，forschool。Ursulaoftenwonderedwhatelseshewaitedfor，besidesthebeginningandendoftheschoolweek，andthebeginningandendoftheholidays。Thiswasawholelife！Sometimesshehadperiodsoftighthorror，whenitseemedtoherthatherlifewouldpassaway，andbegone，withouthavingbeenmorethanthis。Butsheneverreallyacceptedit。Herspiritwasactive，herlifelikeashootthatisgrowingsteadily，butwhichhasnotyetcomeaboveground。
WomenInLove:Chapter5CHAPTERVIntheTrainONEDAYatthistimeBirkinwascalledtoLondon。
Hewasnotveryfixedinhisabode。HehadroomsinNottingham，becausehisworklaychieflyinthattown。ButoftenhewasinLondon，orinOxford。
Hemovedaboutagreatdeal，hislifeseemeduncertain，withoutanydefiniterhythm，anyorganicmeaning。
OntheplatformoftherailwaystationhesawGeraldCrich，readinganewspaper，andevidentlywaitingforthetrain。Birkinstoodsomedistanceoff，amongthepeople。Itwasagainsthisinstincttoapproachanybody。
Fromtimetotime，inamannercharacteristicofhim，Geraldliftedhisheadandlookedround。Eventhoughhewasreadingthenewspaperclosely，hemustkeepawatchfuleyeonhisexternalsurroundings。Thereseemedtobeadualconsciousnessrunninginhim。Hewasthinkingvigorouslyofsomethinghereadinthenewspaper，andatthesametimehiseyeranoverthesurfacesoftheliferoundhim，andhemissednothing。Birkin，whowaswatchinghim，wasirritatedbyhisduality。Henoticedtoo，thatGeraldseemedalwaystobeatbayagainsteverybody，inspiteofhisqueer，genial，socialmannerwhenroused。
NowBirkinstartedviolentlyatseeingthisgeniallookflashontoGerald\'sface，atseeingGeraldapproachingwithhandoutstretched。
`Hallo，Rupert，whereareyougoing？\'
`London。Soareyou，Isuppose。\'
`Yes——\'
Gerald\'seyeswentoverBirkin\'sfaceincuriosity。
`We\'lltraveltogetherifyoulike，\'hesaid。
`Don\'tyouusuallygofirst？\'askedBirkin。
`Ican\'tstandthecrowd，\'repliedGerald。`Butthird\'llbeallright。
There\'sarestaurantcar，wecanhavesometea。\'
Thetwomenlookedatthestationclock，havingnothingfurthertosay。
`Whatwereyoureadinginthepaper？\'Birkinasked。
Geraldlookedathimquickly。
`Isn\'titfunny，whattheydoputinthenewspapers，\'hesaid。
`Herearetwoleaders——\'heheldouthisDailyTelegraph，`fulloftheordinarynewspapercant——\'hescannedthecolumnsdown——`andthenthere\'sthislittle——Idunnowhatyou\'dcallit，essay，almost——
appearingwiththeleaders，andsayingtheremustariseamanwhowillgivenewvaluestothings，giveusnewtruths，anewattitudetolife，orelseweshallbeacrumblingnothingnessinafewyears，acountryinruin——\'
`Isupposethat\'sabitofnewspapercant，aswell，\'saidBirkin。
`Itsoundsasifthemanmeantit，andquitegenuinely，\'saidGerald。
`Giveittome，\'saidBirkin，holdingouthishandforthepaper。
Thetraincame，andtheywentonboard，sittingoneithersidealittletable，bythewindow，intherestaurantcar。Birkinglancedoverhispaper，thenlookedupatGerald，whowaswaitingforhim。
`Ibelievethemanmeansit，\'hesaid，`asfarashemeansanything。\'
`Anddoyouthinkit\'strue？Doyouthinkwereallywantanewgospel？\'
askedGerald。
Birkinshruggedhisshoulders。
`Ithinkthepeoplewhosaytheywantanewreligionarethelasttoacceptanythingnew。Theywantnoveltyrightenough。Buttostarestraightatthislifethatwe\'vebroughtuponourselves，andrejectit，absolutelysmashuptheoldidolsofourselves，thatwesh\'llneverdo。You\'vegotverybadlytowanttogetridoftheold，beforeanythingnewwillappear——evenintheself。\'
Geraldwatchedhimclosely。
`Youthinkweoughttobreakupthislife，juststartandletfly？\'
heasked。
`Thislife。YesIdo。We\'vegottobustitcompletely，orshrivelinsideit，asinatightskin。Foritwon\'texpandanymore。\'
TherewasaqueerlittlesmileinGerald\'seyes，alookofamusement，calmandcurious。
`Andhowdoyouproposetobegin？Isupposeyoumean，reformthewholeorderofsociety？\'heasked。
Birkinhadaslight，tensefrownbetweenthebrows。Hetoowasimpatientoftheconversation。
`Idon\'tproposeatall，\'hereplied。`Whenwereallywanttogoforsomethingbetter，weshallsmashtheold。Untilthen，anysortofproposal，ormakingproposals，isnomorethanatiresomegameforself—importantpeople。\'
ThelittlesmilebegantodieoutofGerald\'seyes，andhesaid，lookingwithacoolstareatBirkin:
`Soyoureallythinkthingsareverybad？\'
`Completelybad。\'
Thesmileappearedagain。
`Inwhatway？\'
`Everyway，\'saidBirkin。`Wearesuchdrearyliars。Ouroneideaistolietoourselves。Wehaveanidealofaperfectworld，cleanandstraightandsufficient。Sowecovertheearthwithfoulness;lifeisablotchoflabour，likeinsectsscurryinginfilth，sothatyourcolliercanhaveapianoforteinhisparlour，andyoucanhaveabutlerandamotor—carinyourup—to—datehouse，andasanationwecansporttheRitz，ortheEmpire，GabyDeslysandtheSundaynewspapers。Itisverydreary。\'
Geraldtookalittletimetore—adjusthimselfafterthistirade。
`Wouldyouhaveuslivewithouthouses——returntonature？\'heasked。
`Iwouldhavenothingatall。Peopleonlydowhattheywanttodo——
andwhattheyarecapableofdoing。Iftheywerecapableofanythingelse，therewouldbesomethingelse。\'
AgainGeraldpondered。HewasnotgoingtotakeoffenceatBirkin。
`Don\'tyouthinkthecollier\'spianoforte，asyoucallit，isasymbolforsomethingveryreal，arealdesireforsomethinghigher，inthecollier\'slife？\'
`Higher！\'criedBirkin。`Yes。Amazingheightsofuprightgrandeur。Itmakeshimsomuchhigherinhisneighbouringcollier\'seyes。Heseeshimselfreflectedintheneighbouringopinion，likeinaBrockenmist，severalfeettalleronthestrengthofthepianoforte，andheissatisfied。HelivesforthesakeofthatBrockenspectre，thereflectionofhimselfinthehumanopinion。Youdothesame。Ifyouareofhighimportancetohumanityyouareofhighimportancetoyourself。Thatiswhyyouworksohardatthemines。Ifyoucanproducecoaltocookfivethousanddinnersaday，youarefivethousandtimesmoreimportantthanifyoucookedonlyyourowndinner。\'
`IsupposeIam，\'laughedGerald。
`Can\'tyousee，\'saidBirkin，`thattohelpmyneighbourtoeatisnomorethaneatingmyself。\"Ieat，thoueatest，heeats，weeat，youeat，theyeat\"——andwhatthen？Whyshouldeverymandeclinethewholeverb。
Firstpersonsingularisenoughforme。\'
`You\'vegottostartwithmaterialthings，\'saidGerald。WhichstatementBirkinignored。
`Andwe\'vegottoliveforsomething，we\'renotjustcattlethatcangrazeandhavedonewithit，\'saidGerald。
`Tellme，\'saidBirkin。`Whatdoyoulivefor？\'
Gerald\'sfacewentbaffled。
`WhatdoIlivefor？\'herepeated。`IsupposeIlivetowork，toproducesomething，insofarasIamapurposivebeing。Apartfromthat，IlivebecauseIamliving。\'
`Andwhat\'syourwork？Gettingsomanymorethousandsoftonsofcoaloutoftheeartheveryday。Andwhenwe\'vegotallthecoalwewant，andalltheplushfurniture，andpianofortes，andtherabbitsareallstewedandeaten，andwe\'reallwarmandourbelliesarefilledandwe\'relisteningtotheyoungladyperformingonthepianoforte——whatthen？Whatthen，whenyou\'vemadearealfairstartwithyourmaterialthings？\'
Geraldsatlaughingatthewordsandthemockinghumouroftheotherman。Buthewascogitatingtoo。
`Wehaven\'tgotthereyet，\'hereplied。`Agoodmanypeoplearestillwaitingfortherabbitandthefiretocookit。\'
`SowhileyougetthecoalImustchasetherabbit？\'saidBirkin，mockingatGerald。
`Somethinglikethat，\'saidGerald。
Birkinwatchedhimnarrowly。Hesawtheperfectgood—humouredcallousness，evenstrange，glisteningmalice，inGerald，glisteningthroughtheplausibleethicsofproductivity。
`Gerald，\'hesaid，`Iratherhateyou。\'
`Iknowyoudo，\'saidGerald。`Whydoyou？\'
Birkinmusedinscrutablyforsomeminutes。
`Ishouldliketoknowifyouareconsciousofhatingme，\'hesaidatlast。`Doyoueverconsciouslydetestme——hatemewithmystichate？ThereareoddmomentswhenIhateyoustarrily。\'
Geraldwasrathertakenaback，evenalittledisconcerted。Hedidnotquiteknowwhattosay。
`Imay，ofcourse，hateyousometimes，\'hesaid。`ButI\'mnotawareofit——neveracutelyawareofit，thatis。\'
`Somuchtheworse，\'saidBirkin。
Geraldwatchedhimwithcuriouseyes。Hecouldnotquitemakehimout。
`Somuchtheworse，isit？\'herepeated。
Therewasasilencebetweenthetwomenforsometime，asthetrainranon。InBirkin\'sfacewasalittleirritabletension，asharpknittingofthebrows，keenanddifficult。Geraldwatchedhimwarily，carefully，rathercalculatingly，forhecouldnotdecidewhathewasafter。
SuddenlyBirkin\'seyeslookedstraightandoverpoweringintothoseoftheotherman。
`Whatdoyouthinkistheaimandobjectofyourlife，Gerald？\'heasked。
AgainGeraldwastakenaback。Hecouldnotthinkwhathisfriendwasgettingat。Washepokingfun，ornot？
`Atthismoment，Icouldn\'tsayoff—hand，\'hereplied，withfaintlyironichumour。
`Doyouthinkloveisthebe—allandtheend—alloflife？\'Birkinasked，withdirect，attentiveseriousness。
`Ofmyownlife？\'saidGerald。