\'Est—cequemarobevabien?\'criedshe,boundingforwards;
\'etmessouliers?etmesbas?Tenez,jecroisquejevaisdanser!\'
Andspreadingoutherdress,shechasseedacrosstheroom;
till,havingreachedMr。Rochester,shewheeledlightlyroundbeforehimontip—toe,thendroppedononekneeathisfeet,exclaiming—
\'Monsieur,jevousremerciemillefoisdevotrebonte;
thenrising,sheadded,\'C\'estcommecelaquemamanfaisait,n\'est—cepas,monsieur?\'
\'Pre—cise—ly!\'wastheanswer;\'and,\"commecella,\"shecharmedmyEnglishgoldoutofmyBritishbreeches\'pocket。Ihavebeengreen,too,MissEyre—ay,grassgreen:notamorevernaltintfreshensyounowthanoncefreshenedme。MySpringisgone,however,butithasleftmethatFrenchfloweretonmyhands,which,insomemoods,I
wouldfainberidof。Notvaluingnowtherootwhenceitsprang;
havingfoundthatitwasofasortwhichnothingbutgolddustcouldmanure,Ihavebuthalfalikingtotheblossom,especiallywhenitlookssoartificialasjustnow。IkeepitandrearitratherontheRomanCatholicprincipleofexpiatingnumeroussins,greatorsmall,byonegoodwork。I\'llexplainallthissomeday。Good—night。\'
chapter15
CHAPTERXV
MR。ROCHESTERdid,onafutureoccasion,explainit。Itwasoneafternoon,whenhechancedtomeetmeandAdeleinthegrounds:andwhilesheplayedwithPilotandhershuttlecock,heaskedmetowalkupanddownalongbeechavenuewithinsightofher。
HethensaidthatshewasthedaughterofaFrenchopera—dancer,CelineVarens,towardswhomhehadoncecherishedwhathecalleda\'grandepassion。\'ThispassionCelinehadprofessedtoreturnwithevensuperiorardour。Hethoughthimselfheridol,uglyashewas:
hebelieved,ashesaid,thatshepreferredhis\'tailled\'athlete\'
totheeleganceoftheApolloBelvidere。
\'And,MissEyre,somuchwasIflatteredbythispreferenceoftheGallicsylphforherBritishgnome,thatIinstalledherinanhotel;gaveheracompleteestablishmentofservants,acarriage,cashmeres,diamonds,dentelles,etc。Inshort,Ibegantheprocessofruiningmyselfinthereceivedstyle,likeanyotherspoony。I
hadnot,itseems,theoriginalitytochalkoutanewroadtoshameanddestruction,buttrodetheoldtrackwithstupidexactnessnottodeviateaninchfromthebeatencentre。Ihad—asIdeservedtohave—thefateofallotherspoonies。HappeningtocalloneeveningwhenCelinedidnotexpectme,Ifoundherout;butitwasawarmnight,andIwastiredwithstrollingthroughParis,soIsatdowninherboudoir;happytobreathetheairconsecratedsolatelybyherpresence。No,—Iexaggerate;Ineverthoughttherewasanyconsecratingvirtueabouther:itwasratherasortofpastilleperfumeshehadleft;ascentofmuskandamber,thananodourofsanctity。Iwasjustbeginningtostiflewiththefumesofconservatoryflowersandsprinkledessences,whenIbethoughtmyselftoopenthewindowandstepoutontothebalcony。Itwasmoonlightandgaslightbesides,andverystillandserene。Thebalconywasfurnishedwithachairortwo;Isatdown,andtookoutacigar,—I
willtakeonenow,ifyouwillexcuseme。\'
Hereensuedapause,filledupbytheproducingandlightingofacigar;havingplacedittohislipsandbreathedatrailofHavannahincenseonthefreezingandsunlessair,hewenton—
\'Ilikedbonbonstoointhosedays,MissEyre,andIwascroquant—(overlookthebarbarism)—croquantchocolatecomfits,andsmokingalternately,watchingmeantimetheequipagesthatrolledalongthefashionablestreetstowardstheneighbouringopera—house,wheninanelegantclosecarriagedrawnbyabeautifulpairofEnglishhorses,anddistinctlyseeninthebrilliantcity—night,I
recognisedthe\"voiture\"IhadgivenCeline。Shewasreturning:ofcoursemyheartthumpedwithimpatienceagainsttheironrailsIleantupon。Thecarriagestopped,asIhadexpected,atthehoteldoor;myflame(thatistheverywordforanoperainamorata)alighted:
thoughmuffledinacloak—anunnecessaryencumbrance,bythebye,onsowarmaJuneevening—Iknewherinstantlybyherlittlefoot,seenpeepingfromtheskirtofherdress,assheskippedfromthecarriagestep。Bendingoverthebalcony,Iwasabouttomurmur\"Monange\"—inatone,ofcourse,whichshouldbeaudibletotheearoflovealone—whenafigurejumpedfromthecarriageafterher;
cloakedalso;butthatwasaspurredheelwhichhadrungonthepavement,andthatwasahattedheadwhichnowpassedunderthearchedportecochereofthehotel。
\'Youneverfeltjealousy,didyou,MissEyre?Ofcoursenot:Ineednotaskyou;becauseyouneverfeltlove。Youhavebothsentimentsyettoexperience:yoursoulsleeps;theshockisyettobegivenwhichshallwakenit。Youthinkallexistencelapsesinasquietaflowasthatinwhichyouryouthhashithertoslidaway。Floatingonwithclosedeyesandmuffledears,youneitherseetherocksbristlingnotfaroffinthebedoftheflood,norhearthebreakersboilattheirbase。ButItellyou—andyoumaymarkmywords—youwillcomesomedaytoacraggypassinthechannel,wherethewholeoflife\'sstreamwillbebrokenupintowhirlandtumult,foamandnoise:eitheryouwillbedashedtoatomsoncragpoints,orliftedupandborneonbysomemaster—waveintoacalmercurrent—asIamnow。
\'Ilikethisday;Ilikethatskyofsteel;Ilikethesternessandstillnessoftheworldunderthisfrost。IlikeThornfield,itsantiquity,itsretirement,itsoldcrow—treesandthorn—trees,itsgreyfacade,andlinesofdarkwindowsreflectingthatmetalwelkin:
andyethowlonghaveIabhorredtheverythoughtofit,shunneditlikeagreatplague—house?HowIdostillabhor—\'
Hegroundhisteethandwassilent:hearrestedhisstepandstruckhisbootagainstthehardground。Somehatedthoughtseemedtohavehiminitsgrip,andtoholdhimsotightlythathecouldnotadvance。
Wewereascendingtheavenuewhenhethuspaused;thehallwasbeforeus。Liftinghiseyetoitsbattlements,hecastoverthemaglaresuchasIneversawbeforeorsince。Pain,shame,ire,impatience,disgust,detestation,seemedmomentarilytoholdaquiveringconflictinthelargepupildilatingunderhiseboneyebrow。
Wildwasthewrestlewhichshouldbeparamount;butanotherfeelingroseandtriumphed:somethinghardandcynical:self—willedandresolute:itsettledhispassionandpetrifiedhiscountenance:hewenton—
\'DuringthemomentIwassilent,MissEyre,Iwasarrangingapointwithmydestiny。Shestoodthere,bythatbeech—trunk—ahaglikeoneofthosewhoappearedtoMacbethontheheathofForres。\"YoulikeThornfield?\"shesaid,liftingherfinger;andthenshewroteintheairamemento,whichraninluridhieroglyphicsallalongthehouse—front,betweentheupperandlowerrowofwindows,\"Likeitifyoucan?Likeitifyoudare!\"
\'\"Iwilllikeit\"saidI;\"Idarelikeit;\"and\'(hesubjoinedmoodily)\'Iwillkeepmyword;Iwillbreakobstaclestohappiness,togoodness—yes,goodness。IwishtobeabettermanthanIhavebeen,thanIam;asJob\'sleviathanbrokethespear,thedart,andthehabergeon,hindranceswhichotherscountasironandbrass,Iwillesteembutstrawandrottenwood。\'
Adelehereranbeforehimwithhershuttlecock。\'Away!\'
hecriedharshly;\'keepatadistance,child;orgointoSophie!\'Continuingthentopursuehiswalkinsilence,Iventuredtorecallhimtothepointwhencehehadabruptlydiverged—
\'Didyouleavethebalcony,sir,\'Iasked,\'whenMdlle。
Varensentered?\'
Ialmostexpectedarebuffforthishardlywell—timedquestion,but,onthecontrary,wakingoutofhisscowlingabstraction,heturnedhiseyestowardsme,andtheshadeseemedtoclearoffhisbrow。\'Oh,IhadforgottenCeline!Well,toresume。WhenIsawmycharmerthuscomeinaccompaniedbyacavalier,Iseemedtohearahiss,andthegreensnakeofjealousy,risingonundulatingcoilsfromthemoonlitbalcony,glidedwithinmywaistcoat,andateitswayintwominutestomyheart\'score。Strange!\'heexclaimed,suddenlystartingagainfromthepoint。\'StrangethatIshouldchooseyoufortheconfidantofallthis,younglady;passingstrangethatyoushouldlistentomequietly,asifitwerethemostusualthingintheworldforamanlikemetotellstoriesofhisopera—mistressestoaquaint,inexperiencedgirllikeyou!Butthelastsingularityexplainsthefirst,asIintimatedoncebefore:you,withyourgravity,considerateness,andcautionweremadetobetherecipientofsecrets。
Besides,IknowwhatsortofamindIhaveplacedincommunicationwithmyown:Iknowitisonenotliabletotakeinfection:itisapeculiarmind:itisauniqueone。HappilyIdonotmeantoharmit:
but,ifIdid,itwouldnottakeharmfromme。ThemoreyouandI
converse,thebetter;forwhileIcannotblightyou,youmayrefreshme。\'Afterthisdigressionheproceeded—
\'Iremainedinthebalcony。\"Theywillcometoherboudoir,nodoubt,\"thoughtI:\"Letmeprepareanambush。\"Soputtingmyhandinthroughtheopenwindow,Idrewthecurtainoverit,leavingonlyanopeningthroughwhichIcouldtakeobservations;thenIclosedthecasement,allbutachinkjustwideenoughtofurnishanoutlettolovers\'whisperedvows:thenIstolebacktomychair;andasI
resumeditthepaircamein。Myeyewasquicklyattheaperture。
Celine\'schambermaidentered,litalamp,leftitonthetable,andwithdrew。Thecouplewerethusrevealedtomeclearly:bothremovedtheircloaks,andtherewas\"theVarens,\"shininginsatinandjewels,—mygiftsofcourse,—andtherewashercompanioninanofficer\'suniform;andIknewhimforayoungroueofavicomte—abrainlessandviciousyouthwhomIhadsometimesmetinsociety,andhadneverthoughtofhatingbecauseIdespisedhimsoabsolutely。Onrecognisinghim,thefangofthesnakeJealousywasinstantlybroken;becauseatthesamemomentmyloveforCelinesankunderanextinguisher。Awomanwhocouldbetraymeforsucharivalwasnotworthcontendingfor;shedeservedonlyscorn;less,however,thanI,whohadbeenherdupe。
\'Theybegantotalk;theirconversationeasedmecompletely:
frivolous,mercenary,heartless,andsenseless,itwasrathercalculatedtowearythanenragealistener。Acardofminelayonthetable;thisbeingperceived,broughtmynameunderdiscussion。
Neitherofthempossessedenergyorwittobelabourmesoundly,buttheyinsultedmeascoarselyastheycouldintheirlittleway:
especiallyCeline,whoevenwaxedratherbrilliantonmypersonaldefects—deformitiesshetermedthem。Nowithadbeenhercustomtolaunchoutintoferventadmirationofwhatshecalledmy\"beautemale\":whereinshediffereddiametricallyfromyou,whotoldmepoint—blank,atthesecondinterview,thatyoudidnotthinkmehandsome。Thecontraststruckmeatthetimeand—\'
Adeleherecamerunningupagain。
\'Monsieur,Johnhasjustbeentosaythatyouragenthascalledandwishestoseeyou。\'
\'Ah!inthatcaseImustabridge。Openingthewindow,I
walkedinuponthem;liberatedCelinefrommyprotection;gavehernoticetovacateherhotel;offeredherapurseforimmediateexigencies;
disregardedscreams,hysterics,prayers,protestations,convulsions;
madeanappointmentwiththevicomteforameetingattheBoisdeBoulogne。NextmorningIhadthepleasureofencounteringhim;leftabulletinoneofhispooretiolatedarms,feebleasthewingofachickeninthepip,andthenthoughtIhaddonewiththewholecrew。
ButunluckilytheVarens,sixmonthsbefore,hadgivenmethisfiletteAdele,who,sheaffirmed,wasmydaughter;andperhapsshemaybe,thoughIseenoproofsofsuchgrimpaternitywritteninhercountenance:Pilotismorelikemethanshe。SomeyearsafterIhadbrokenwiththemother,sheabandonedherchild,andranawaytoItalywithamusicianorsinger。IacknowledgednonaturalclaimonAdele\'sparttobesupportedbyme,nordoInowacknowledgeany,forIamnotherfather;buthearingthatshewasquitedestitute,I
e\'entookthepoorthingoutoftheslimeandmudofParis,andtransplantedithere,togrowupcleaninthewholesomesoilofanEnglishcountrygarden。Mrs。Fairfaxfoundyoutotrainit;butnowyouknowthatitistheillegitimateoffspringofaFrenchopera—girl,youwillperhapsthinkdifferentlyofyourpostandprotegee:youwillbecomingtomesomedaywithnoticethatyouhavefoundanotherplace—thatyoubegmetolookoutforanewgoverness,etc。—Eh?\'
\'No:Adeleisnotanswerableforeitherhermother\'sfaultsoryours:Ihavearegardforher;andnowthatIknowsheis,inasense,parentless—forsakenbyhermotheranddisownedbyyou,sir—
Ishallclingclosertoherthanbefore。HowcouldIpossiblypreferthespoiltpetofawealthyfamily,whowouldhatehergovernessasanuisance,toalonelylittleorphan,wholeanstowardsherasafriend?\'
\'Oh,thatisthelightinwhichyouviewit!Well,Imustgoinnow;andyoutoo:itdarkens。\'
ButIstayedoutafewminuteslongerwithAdeleandPilot—
ranaracewithher,andplayedagameofbattledoreandshuttlecock。Whenwewentin,andIhadremovedherbonnetandcoat,Itookheronmyknee;keptherthereanhour,allowinghertoprattleassheliked:
notrebukingevensomelittlefreedomsandtrivialitiesintowhichshewasapttostraywhenmuchnoticed,andwhichbetrayedinherasuperficialityofcharacter,inheritedprobablyfromhermother,hardlycongenialtoanEnglishmind。Stillshehadhermerits;andI
wasdisposedtoappreciateallthatwasgoodinhertotheutmost。I
soughtinhercountenanceandfeaturesalikenesstoMr。Rochester,butfoundnone:notrait,noturnofexpressionannouncedrelationship。Itwasapity:ifshecouldbuthavebeenprovedtoresemblehim,hewouldhavethoughtmoreofher。
ItwasnottillafterIhadwithdrawntomyownchamberforthenight,thatIsteadilyreviewedthetaleMr。Rochesterhadtoldme。
Ashehadsaid,therewasprobablynothingatallextraordinaryinthesubstanceofthenarrativeitself:awealthyEnglishman\'spassionforaFrenchdancer,andhertreacherytohim,wereevery—daymattersenough,nodoubt,insociety;buttherewassomethingdecidedlystrangeintheparoxysmofemotionwhichhadsuddenlyseizedhimwhenhewasintheactofexpressingthepresentcontentmentofhismood,andhisnewlyrevivedpleasureintheoldhallanditsenvirons。Imeditatedwonderinglyonthisincident;butgraduallyquittingit,asIfounditforthepresentinexplicable,Iturnedtotheconsiderationofmymaster\'smannertomyself。Theconfidencehehadthoughtfittoreposeinmeseemedatributetomydiscretion:I
regardedandaccepteditassuch。Hisdeportmenthadnowforsomeweeksbeenmoreuniformtowardsmethanatthefirst。Ineverseemedinhisway;hedidnottakefitsofchillinghauteur:whenhemetmeunexpectedly,theencounterseemedwelcome;hehadalwaysawordandsometimesasmileforme:whensummonedbyformalinvitationtohispresence,IwashonouredbyacordialityofreceptionthatmademefeelIreallypossessedthepowertoamusehim,andthattheseeveningconferencesweresoughtasmuchforhispleasureasformybenefit。
I,indeed,talkedcomparativelylittle,butIheardhimtalkwithrelish。Itwashisnaturetobecommunicative;helikedtoopentoamindunacquaintedwiththeworldglimpsesofitsscenesandways(I
donotmeanitscorruptscenesandwickedways,butsuchasderivedtheirinterestfromthegreatscaleonwhichtheywereacted,thestrangenoveltybywhichtheywerecharacterised);andIhadakeendelightinreceivingthenewideasheoffered,inimaginingthenewpicturesheportrayed,andfollowinghiminthoughtthroughthenewregionshedisclosed,neverstartledortroubledbyonenoxiousallusion。
Theeaseofhismannerfreedmefrompainfulrestraint:
thefriendlyfrankness,ascorrectascordial,withwhichhetreatedme,drewmetohim。Ifeltattimesasifheweremyrelationratherthanmymaster:yethewasimperioussometimesstill;butIdidnotmindthat;Isawitwashisway。Sohappy,sogratifieddidIbecomewiththisnewinterestaddedtolife,thatIceasedtopineafterkindred:mythincrescent—destinyseemedtoenlarge;theblanksofexistencewerefilledup;mybodilyhealthimproved;Igatheredfleshandstrength。
AndwasMr。Rochesternowuglyinmyeyes?No,reader:
gratitude,andmanyassociations,allpleasurableandgenial,madehisfacetheobjectIbestlikedtosee;hispresenceinaroomwasmorecheeringthanthebrightestfire。YetIhadnotforgottenhisfaults;indeed,I
couldnot,forhebroughtthemfrequentlybeforeme。Hewasproud,sardonic,harshtoinferiorityofeverydescription:inmysecretsoulIknewthathisgreatkindnesstomewasbalancedbyunjustseveritytomanyothers。Hewasmoody,too;unaccountablyso;Imorethanonce,whensentfortoreadtohim,foundhimsittinginhislibraryalone,withhisheadbentonhisfoldedarms;and,whenhelookedup,amorose,almostamalignant,scowlblackenedhisfeatures。ButIbelievedthathismoodiness,hisharshness,andhisformerfaultsofmorality(Isayformer,fornowheseemedcorrectedofthem)hadtheirsourceinsomecruelcrossoffate。Ibelievedhewasnaturallyamanofbettertendencies,higherprinciples,andpurertastesthansuchascircumstanceshaddeveloped,educationinstilled,ordestinyencouraged。Ithoughttherewereexcellentmaterialsinhim;thoughforthepresenttheyhungtogethersomewhatspoiledandtangled。I
cannotdenythatIgrievedforhisgrief,whateverthatwas,andwouldhavegivenmuchtoassuageit。
ThoughIhadnowextinguishedmycandleandwaslaiddowninbed,I
couldnotsleepforthinkingofhislookwhenhepausedintheavenue,andtoldhowhisdestinyhadrisenupbeforehim,anddaredhimtobehappyatThornfield。
\'Whynot?\'Iaskedmyself。\'Whatalienateshimfromthehouse?Willheleaveitagainsoon?Mrs。Fairfaxsaidheseldomstayedherelongerthanafortnightatatime;andhehasnowbeenresidenteightweeks。Ifhedoesgo,thechangewillbedoleful。Supposeheshouldbeabsentspring,summer,andautumn:howjoylesssunshineandfinedayswillseem!\'
IhardlyknowwhetherIhadsleptornotafterthismusing;
atanyrate,Istartedwideawakeonhearingavaguemurmur,peculiarandlugubrious,whichsounded,Ithought,justaboveme。IwishedIhadkeptmycandleburning:thenightwasdrearilydark;myspiritsweredepressed。Iroseandsatupinbed,listening。Thesoundwashushed。
Itriedagaintosleep;butmyheartbeatanxiously:myinwardtranquillitywasbroken。Theclock,fardowninthehall,strucktwo。Justthenitseemedmychamber—doorwastouched;asiffingershadsweptthepanelsingropingawayalongthedarkgalleryoutside。Isaid,\'Whoisthere?\'Nothinganswered。Iwaschilledwithfear。
AllatonceIrememberedthatitmightbePilot,who,whenthekitchen—doorchancedtobeleftopen,notunfrequentlyfoundhiswayuptothethresholdofMr。Rochester\'schamber:Ihadseenhimlyingtheremyselfinthemornings。Theideacalmedmesomewhat:Ilaydown。
Silencecomposesthenerves;andasanunbrokenhushnowreignedagainthroughthewholehouse,Ibegantofeelthereturnofslumber。ButitwasnotfatedthatIshouldsleepthatnight。Adreamhadscarcelyapproachedmyear,whenitfledaffrighted,scaredbyamarrow—freezingincidentenough。
Thiswasademoniaclaugh—low,suppressed,anddeep—uttered,asitseemed,attheverykeyholeofmychamberdoor。Theheadofmybedwasnearthedoor,andIthoughtatfirstthegoblin—laugherstoodatmybedside—orrather,crouchedbymypillow:butIrose,lookedround,andcouldseenothing;while,asIstillgazed,theunnaturalsoundwasreiterated:andIknewitcamefrombehindthepanels。Myfirstimpulsewastoriseandfastenthebolt;mynext,againtocryout,\'Whoisthere?\'
Somethinggurgledandmoaned。Erelong,stepsretreatedupthegallerytowardsthethird—storeystaircase:adoorhadlatelybeenmadetoshutinthatstaircase;Ihearditopenandclose,andallwasstill。
\'WasthatGracePoole?andisshepossessedwithadevil?\'
thoughtI。Impossiblenowtoremainlongerbymyself:ImustgotoMrs。Fairfax。Ihurriedonmyfrockandashawl;Iwithdrewtheboltandopenedthedoorwithatremblinghand。Therewasacandleburningjustoutside,andonthemattinginthegallery。Iwassurprisedatthiscircumstance:butstillmorewasIamazedtoperceivetheairquitedim,asiffilledwithsmoke;and,whilelookingtotherighthandandleft,tofindwhencethesebluewreathsissued,Ibecamefurtherawareofastrongsmellofburning。
Somethingcreaked:itwasadoorajar;andthatdoorwasMr。
Rochester\'s,andthesmokerushedinacloudfromthence。IthoughtnomoreofMrs。Fairfax;IthoughtnomoreofGracePoole,orthelaugh:inaninstant,Iwaswithinthechamber。Tonguesofflamedartedroundthebed:thecurtainswereonfire。Inthemidstofblazeandvapour,Mr。Rochesterlaystretchedmotionless,indeepsleep。
\'Wake!wake!\'Icried。Ishookhim,butheonlymurmuredandturned:thesmokehadstupefiedhim。Notamomentcouldbelost:theverysheetswerekindling,Irushedtohisbasinandewer;
fortunately,onewaswideandtheotherdeep,andbothwerefilledwithwater。Iheavedthemup,delugedthebedanditsoccupant,flewbacktomyownroom,broughtmyownwater—jug,baptizedthecouchafresh,and,byGod\'said,succeededinextinguishingtheflameswhichweredevouringit。
Thehissofthequenchedelement,thebreakageofapitcherwhichI
flungfrommyhandwhenIhademptiedit,and,aboveall,thesplashoftheshower—bathIhadliberallybestowed,rousedMr。Rochesteratlast。Thoughitwasnowdark,Iknewhewasawake;becauseIheardhimfulminatingstrangeanathemasatfindinghimselflyinginapoolofwater。
\'Isthereaflood?\'hecried。
No,sir,\'Ianswered;\'buttherehasbeenafire:getup,do;youarequenchednow;Iwillfetchyouacandle。\'
\'InthenameofalltheelvesinChristendom,isthatJaneEyre?\'
hedemanded。\'Whathaveyoudonewithme,witch,sorceress?Whoisintheroombesidesyou?Haveyouplottedtodrownme?\'
\'Iwillfetchyouacandle,sir;and,inHeaven\'sname,getup。
Somebodyhasplottedsomething:youcannottoosoonfindoutwhoandwhatitis。\'
\'There!Iamupnow;butatyourperilyoufetchacandleyet:waittwominutestillIgetintosomedrygarments,ifanydrytherebe—
yes,hereismydressing—gown。Nowrun!\'
Ididrun;Ibroughtthecandlewhichstillremainedinthegallery。Hetookitfrommyhand,helditup,andsurveyedthebed,allblackenedandscorched,thesheetsdrenched,thecarpetroundswimminginwater。
\'Whatisit?andwhodidit?\'heasked。
Ibrieflyrelatedtohimwhathadtranspired:thestrangelaughI
hadheardinthegallery;thestepascendingtothethirdstorey;
thesmoke,—thesmelloffirewhichhadconductedmetohisroom;inwhatstateIhadfoundmattersthere,andhowIhaddelugedhimwithallthewaterIcouldlayhandson。
Helistenedverygravely;hisface,asIwenton,expressedmoreconcernthanastonishment;hedidnotimmediatelyspeakwhenIhadconcluded。
\'ShallIcallMrs。Fairfax?\'Iasked。
\'Mrs。Fairfax?No;whatthedeucewouldyoucallherfor?
Whatcanshedo?Lethersleepunmolested。\'
\'ThenIwillfetchLeah,andwakeJohnandhiswife。\'
\'Notatall:justbestill。Youhaveashawlon。Ifyouarenotwarmenough,youmaytakemycloakyonder;wrapitaboutyou,andsitdowninthearm—chair:there,—Iwillputiton。Nowplaceyourfeetonthestool,tokeepthemoutofthewet。Iamgoingtoleaveyouafewminutes。Ishalltakethecandle。RemainwhereyouaretillIreturn;beasstillasamouse。Imustpayavisittothesecondstorey。Don\'tmove,remember,orcallanyone。\'
Hewent:Iwatchedthelightwithdraw。Hepassedupthegalleryverysoftly,unclosedthestaircasedoorwithaslittlenoiseaspossible,shutitafterhim,andthelastrayvanished。Iwasleftintotaldarkness。Ilistenedforsomenoise,butheardnothing。A
verylongtimeelapsed。Igrewweary:itwascold,inspiteofthecloak;andthenIdidnotseetheuseofstaying,asIwasnottorousethehouse。IwasonthepointofriskingMr。Rochester\'sdispleasurebydisobeyinghisorders,whenthelightoncemoregleameddimlyonthegallerywall,andIheardhisunshodfeettreadthematting。\'Ihopeitishe,\'thoughtI,\'andnotsomethingworse。\'
Here—entered,paleandverygloomy。\'Ihavefounditallout,\'
saidhe,settinghiscandledownonthewashstand;\'itisasI
thought。\'
\'How,sir?\'
Hemadenoreply,butstoodwithhisarmsfolded,lookingontheground。Attheendofafewminutesheinquiredinratherapeculiartone—
\'Iforgetwhetheryousaidyousawanythingwhenyouopenedyourchamberdoor。\'
\'No,sir,onlythecandlestickontheground。\'
\'Butyouheardanoddlaugh?Youhaveheardthatlaughbefore,I
shouldthink,orsomethinglikeit?\'
\'Yes,sir:thereisawomanwhosewshere,calledGracePoole,—shelaughsinthatway。Sheisasingularperson。\'
\'Justso。GracePoole—youhaveguessedit。Sheis,asyousay,singular—very。Well,Ishallreflectonthesubject。Meantime,Iamgladthatyouaretheonlyperson,besidesmyself,acquaintedwiththeprecisedetailsofto—night\'sincident。Youarenotalkingfool:saynothingaboutit。Iwillaccountforthisstateofaffairs\'
(pointingtothebed):\'andnowreturntoyourownroom。Ishalldoverywellonthesofainthelibraryfortherestofthenight。Itisnearfour:—intwohourstheservantswillbeup。\'
\'Good—night,then,sir,\'saidI,departing。
Heseemedsurprised—veryinconsistentlyso,ashehadjusttoldmetogo。
\'What!\'heexclaimed,\'areyouquittingmealready,andinthatway?\'
\'YousaidImightgo,sir。\'
\'Butnotwithouttakingleave;notwithoutawordortwoofacknowledgmentandgood—will:not,inshort,inthatbrief,dryfashion。Why,youhavesavedmylife!—snatchedmefromahorribleandexcruciatingdeath!andyouwalkpastmeasifweweremutualstrangers!Atleastshakehands。\'
Heheldouthishand;Igavehimmine:hetookitfirstinone,theninbothhisown。
\'Youhavesavedmylife:Ihaveapleasureinowingyousoimmenseadebt。Icannotsaymore。Nothingelsethathasbeingwouldhavebeentolerabletomeinthecharacterofcreditorforsuchanobligation:butyou:itisdifferent;—Ifeelyourbenefitsnoburden,Jane。\'
Hepaused;gazedatme:wordsalmostvisibletrembledonhislips,—
buthisvoicewaschecked。
\'Good—nightagain,sir。Thereisnodebt,benefit,burden,obligation,inthecase。\'
\'Iknew,\'hecontinued,youwoulddomegoodinsomeway,atsometime;—IsawitinyoureyeswhenIfirstbeheldyou:theirexpressionandsmiledidnot\'—(againhestopped)—\'didnot\'(heproceededhastily)\'strikedelighttomyveryinmostheartsofornothing。
Peopletalkofnaturalsympathies;Ihaveheardofgoodgenii:therearegrainsoftruthinthewildestfable。Mycherishedpreserver,good—night!\'
Strangeenergywasinhisvoice,strangefireinhislook。
\'IamgladIhappenedtobeawake,\'Isaid:andthenI
wasgoing。
\'What!youwillgo?\'
\'Iamcold,sir。\'
\'Cold?Yes,—andstandinginapool!Go,then,Jane;go!\'
Buthestillretainedmyhand,andIcouldnotfreeit。Ibethoughtmyselfofanexpedient。
\'IthinkIhearMrs。Fairfaxmove,sir,\'saidI。
\'Well,leaveme\':herelaxedhisfingers,andIwasgone。
Iregainedmycouch,butneverthoughtofsleep。TillmorningdawnedIwastossedonabuoyantbutunquietsea,wherebillowsoftroublerolledundersurgesofjoy。IthoughtsometimesIsawbeyonditswildwatersashore,sweetasthehillsofBeulah;andnowandthenafresheninggale,wakenedbyhope,boremyspirittriumphantlytowardsthebourne:butIcouldnotreachit,eveninfancy—acounteractingbreezeblewoffland,andcontinuallydrovemeback。
Sensewouldresistdelirium:judgmentwouldwarnpassion。Toofeverishtorest,Iroseassoonasdaydawned。
chapter16CHAPTERXVI
IBOTHwishedandfearedtoseeMr。Rochesteronthedaywhichfollowedthissleeplessnight:Iwantedtohearhisvoiceagain,yetfearedtomeethiseye。Duringtheearlypartofthemorning,I
momentarilyexpectedhiscoming;hewasnotinthefrequenthabitofenteringtheschoolroom,buthedidstepinforafewminutessometimes,andIhadtheimpressionthathewassuretovisititthatday。
Butthemorningpassedjustasusual:nothinghappenedtointerruptthequietcourseofAdele\'sstudies;onlysoonafterbreakfast,I
heardsomebustleintheneighbourhoodofMr。Rochester\'schamber,Mrs。Fairfax\'svoice,andLeah\'s,andthecook\'s—thatis,John\'swife—andevenJohn\'sowngrufftones。Therewereexclamationsof\'Whatamercymasterwasnotburntinhisbed!\'\'Itisalwaysdangeroustokeepacandlelitatnight。\'\'Howprovidentialthathehadpresenceofmindtothinkofthewater—jug!\'\'Iwonderhewakednobody!\'\'Itistobehopedhewillnottakecoldwithsleepingonthelibrarysofa,\'etc。
Tomuchconfabulationsucceededasoundofscrubbingandsettingtorights;andwhenIpassedtheroom,ingoingdownstairstodinner,I
sawthroughtheopendoorthatallwasagainrestoredtocompleteorder;onlythebedwasstrippedofitshangings。Leahstoodupinthewindow—seat,rubbingthepanesofglassdimmedwithsmoke。Iwasabouttoaddressher,forIwishedtoknowwhataccounthadbeengivenoftheaffair:but,onadvancing,Isawasecondpersoninthechamber—
awomansittingonachairbythebedside,andsewingringstonewcurtains。ThatwomanwasnootherthanGracePoole。